Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: We're Mostly Boople In Space

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

It's a freebie! Just for you! This is a fun recent bonus episode we can hopefully use to entice you over to the Patreon. No pressure but. patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Lucy, Theo, Ben, and Andrew bring you: An update to the man in the United Airlines crawlspace, a miraculous gold cross given from father to son, a woman ready to help an astronaut in peril, and the consequences of America's declining appeal. *** Outro: Space Vato - John Garcia and the Band of Gold *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me, Ben, from podcast, Bonta Vista. This is, I guess, is kind of cynical, I guess. This is mostly just to remind you that we have a Patreon and we do bonus episodes on it. And they're just like the episodes that you get for free, except they're kind of a little lucy-goosier because generally Lucy and I have a couple of drinks at the bar before we go to record. And we're in just like a fun state of mind. But the last couple of months, I feel like we've been on a bit of a role. This episode's been great, and you wouldn't really know what you were missing out on unless you heard them.

So this is just one that we recorded quite recently that we had a lot of fun with. It was very silly, very stupid, that we thought we would give you for free. And you can be like, oh, damn, I could be listening to more of those. Maybe, or not. Maybe you already listened to enough podcasts. But anyway, just don't remind you what we're doing over on the Patreon. That's patreon.com. Sash, bono vista.

I hope you enjoy it. Cheers. Bye. Hello, I think that needs to be 50 minutes left. I'm not trusting you, okay. You only got one of the wall in front. Hello and welcome to Punta Vista. This is a bonus episode.

I'm Ben. minutes and 47 seconds, I'm going to make you feel absolutely perfect. Using state-of-the-art brain computer interface technology, we can directly stimulate your sensorium and emotional center to make you experience with complete fidelity what it would be like to be one of the people that enjoys the song Firework by Katie Perry. Theo, it's starting as a ball of scintillating energy in the center of your diaphragm. And as the bass kicks in for the chorus, it radiates in powerful waves throughout your entire body. Anticipatory shivers at the base of your neck

Turn rapidly into a flushing in your cheeks And a quickening heart rate You feel short of breath and intoxicated Your eyes seemingly close of their own volition This is it You are here This is everything You are perfect

All right Just getting so into a Katie Ferry So I make the sound from the start of window licker. Lucy. Can you feel it? Layers of awareness and consciousness are rolling off you like the empty fuel tanks off a rocket that is accelerating faster and faster towards the limits of our

atmosphere and the black crystal void of space. You're surrendering the past of you that can ask what or where or how or why or when or who am I. You just are. You are you. Born aloft by Katie Perry's vocals. You are no longer a story you tell yourself, an aggregation of memories and defences and posturing and fears. You were just a spark of sentience, shining bright against

the night sky. How was that? Yeah, I'm so close. I'm like so close. Due to complicated technical reasons for the podcast, Lucy's had one or two more drinks that she would have normally before recording this episode. So just be cool about it, all right? She's already got me blushing. Just relax. I thought you were doing a cum thing. What?

No, Jesus, calm down. You're talking about all the energy building. Yeah. I was definitely doing that. The song's about like a climate. I don't know what the song's about. All I know is that you ever seen a firework before. Yeah, but the firework is your orgasm.

Yeah, they're too loud. Yeah, it's like cum shun. They're stupid. Not how you do. them. I'm picturing the noise you made, oh, I think a minute and a half ago in this episode. Andrew, in this moment, it's impossible to separate you from the song. The song is you. This is the divine song that created the universe. And if you are the song, are you not creating the universe? Can you feel yourself echoing out to the edges of infinity, unfolding in deep complexity

from which all can arise? How are you feeling? I'm feeling a lot like I've just suck down a double-charged bulb of nitrous. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah. You hear that? Hanging around out into space. You imagine just how good it would feel to have like, I don't know, whatever the fuck year, that song came out.

But that summer, you're at the club. That song comes on. It's you and your girls. You're not even that drunk. You're just giddy with excitement. And then you just feel the bass in your chest. And you think the song sounds good. You've got to understand the chokehold that Katie Perry had on society.

It's crazy, isn't it? You've got to, like, she's a flop now. She is a flop. Yeah, she's chopped. She's busted. She's chuged. She's choked? Is cracked?

Is cracked good now? No, cracked is good. Chopped is bad. Okay. Fuck. Yeah, but no, she was everything. Cracked used to be bad, I thought. I thought so.

Like an egg. You don't want to do it. Egg. If you were an egg, big, cracked is the worst thing that could happen to you. She has sold 150. million record. Yeah, now everyone fucking hates her.

So what was that for? Yeah, because she got like, she got too she got too presumptuous. She thought she could go to space. Yeah. Idiot. You think the incredible hubris

of slipping the surly bonds of earth was the thing that made everyone go, ah, fuck you. It was like, I liked the albums, but that's,

That's a step too far. We were meant to stay on the ground. You either ascend as a William Shatner or you flop like a Cady Perry. Well, Shatner who hated being in space. Hated being in space. He went up there and kind of... He's got to hate it. Yeah.

But it built on him, right? He kind of like got a new perspective to life and was like, holy shit, we've got to look after the earth. You know, we're destroying this thing. We don't need to be out here. We need to be in here. and Katie Perry landed and she's probably like, you know, buy DoorDash, ding-dong.

Did someone say menu log or whatever? I don't know which one she is. Yeah, I think she got out of the Amazon-sponsored spaceflight. It said, dig-dog. Ding-dog. It's menu log time. Dig-dog. Menu log.

Yeah. I think space would make me feel like these TikToks I started getting. Which are, like, on a GoPro on a guy who is underwater cleaning the barnacles off of shipping boats. That's what you're getting on TikTok. Yeah. And it makes me feel like my stomach is falling out of my asshole. It horrifies me so much when he looks down and it's just, it's just depth. Yeah.

It's just black depth falling away. And that horrifies me. I don't like being on the surface of the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. So the space would be like for me, I think I'd get up there. And I would feel like my stomach was coming out of my ass, but then just kind of floating away for a minute.

Oh, I'd go space crazy. Day one, sunshine space crazy immediately, not even out of the atmosphere. Yeah, you're up there for the 90 seconds with like Katie Perry and Michelle Obama, and you come back down, they're all dead. They're all dead. They're all dead. Space madness.

Space madness. We didn't even make it to space. I worked for the sun. The sun is my boss. Ten, nine. Oh, she's stabbing somebody. She's wearing Katie Perry's skin and she's saying, dig dog. Dig dog.

It sounds really wet because there's a mouth on top of your mouth. It's her mouth. I'm a California girl. Would you technically be kissing a girl while that was happening? Do you think? You're wearing somebody's face over your face and your lips were like. up with their lips? No, I don't think that's what kissing is.

I think that's... I don't think that's mainly what kissing is, it's just lips. You don't think there's technicalities of lips being in contact for us to get around here? On the back, I don't think the back is kissing. This is the start of a terrible song from a terrible musical. Well, a kiss is more like... Is a kiss not a kiss? Have you ever held a rose?

No, but I've worn someone's face over my face. I was cocked to this. Oh, hey, the terrifying nature of the deep, deep ocean and also space, that's old news. We talk about old news in, oh shit, it's an update to an old news story. Oh, shit, it's an update to an old news story. Hey, something that I reckon is cool, though, is how they use nautical terms for space shit. I don't know why that just tickled me

the right way Do they? Like starboard and ship? No like ships and stuff Like a ship Like a space ship? What?

Provide one example Like the gummy ship In kingdom of You are And you got a spaceship I think that's the main one As well Yeah you do

That's true There were much Because they're all from the air force Yeah There were more Plains have captains Yeah And I think like

The actual The person that's in charge Of like the space mission Is the commander Not a captain I think Yeah Yeah, so I guess it's kind of like that

I think they call it the hull of the spaceship maybe They do that with tanks as well Maybe So This is from ABC News It's an update to a story that we talked about In episode 410 You're already living in Cornworld

I think I'm having a full on meltdown As a result of what just happened Oh, we're going to find out more about David We are finding out more about David and Dan Smoker. They're not brothers. Sorry, it's Dan Smoker and David who doesn't have a last name. That wasn't a pair.

This is from ABC News. I just have a few paragraphs to address specific bits of speculation that we had. First one here, quote, it turns out David called United that morning and worked with their call center people to ultimately get me rebooked. So he put me on hold. He called United and then worked with the United agent to rebook me and my family. That doesn't answer questions at all.

Well, it answers one of the questions, which is how he was able to re-book that. Yeah, but it's very funny to be on the phone with a guy you think is United, have him put you on a hold and just do the drudgery of being on customer service with United for you, but he's also scammed you out of $17,000. Oh, fuck, I didn't ask if he wanted the vegetarian meal. Shit. Maybe the guy who stole your $17,000 was just a good guy. It's an all-round good guy.

The scammer went on and re-booked him. Yes, but re-booked him with his credit card. So. Well, okay, while taking his money. Yes. So he took 17 grand from him, but then used his credit card to actually charge him for the re-booked flights. So he took money from him for fake flights, used the scam-ease money for real flights. So he still got what he wanted.

He could have double-scammed him at this point. but he chose not to. He only single scammed him. Just keep it simple, I guess. No, but he scammed, and then he kind of pulled the scam back a little bit. He died of the scam back. He was like, I want this guy to go to wherever he was going, Belgium. Yeah.

He kind of pulled the scam back a little bit to reveal a kernel of truth. Yeah. I did the scam. What are you doing? I'm scrolling the page for spacecraft or Wikipedia. I'm just looking for a space. single nautical term? Port, starboard.

What were you thinking of? I think they do say port and starboard. I think they say, they say port hole, or they say space window? I think they say space window. Yeah. Hey, look at that out of the space window.

On the left, they say. I don't know. They probably say port and starboard on a spaceship. They say port and starboard. The, you know, in in embassy town. In embassy town, when they're going from place to place, I always imagine them going on

like a pirate ship, even though that's stupid. I think they are sort of styled more after sort of weirdly sort of steampunky ships when they're going through the IMA in embassy town, yeah. I don't think that's a realistic depiction of space travel. When you're floaking, they probably don't have floaking in real life. They don't have floaking in real life, no. This is like stealing someone's car and getting the tires changed, you know? Because you feel a little bit bad.

Yeah. I'm stealing someone's plane and replacing the battery or something. Yeah. Got another paragraph here. This one really answers the big question. In a way that is quite disappointing, unfortunately. United Airlines told ABC that the initial investigation shows a United agent was doing her best to help smoker. And because he was trying to book on another airline, the agent Googled the other airline's phone number and transferred him to a scammer by accident.

Oh. This guy's got like airline SOR. We? No. No, he's got airline SEO, though. SEO? SEO? Yeah. Probably?

So he's like... Search engine epitomization. That's French, I think. Search enjean. Epitomal. Eptomizer. O. So, yeah, somehow he's managed to get to the top of the results for Lufthansa customer support.

And it's a scam number. He must be like... What's the best of? that it comes up from AI, who was in the AI summary. Oh, probably. Like, this is the Aerolingus number. Fuck, I think you're right. Like, almost certainly.

Someone should sue those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, some of the stuff they're doing with that. Yeah, someone should kill them. Yeah, take them out. Take him out. Kill Sam Altman in Fortnite.

Hey, if you were the scammer that had a legitimate airline redirect you to your scam phone number, you'd consider yourself something of a lucky duck. We talk about Lucky Docs in Mr. Lucky Duck. He's Mr. Lucky Duck. That's one lucky duck. This is from W-E-S-H in Florida. The Wesh. It's a fun word to say, isn't it?

Wesh. The Wesh. Wesh. Mecca Wash. Sure, that'll play. Marion County man Shot in chest Credits necklace for saving his life

Yes We got another one of these Another one Wasn't it like a penny the other week You can't have so many fucking objects on your body I don't carry a lot of Fufri You got to start wearing more Fufra

More trinkets More curios Gird yourself with A man in Marion Cali, who survived a gunshot to the chest, is crediting his necklace for helping save his life. Aidan Perry, 20, was wearing a golden cross on a chain that blocked the bullet when he was standing about 8 to 10 feet away from the gun.

Oh, my God. Come on. That's crazy. That's so good. Are you not witnessing right now? Yeah. How he is real. He is risen and he is with us.

Can we get a read on the denomination so we kind of know which one's real? Freaking upside down. I don't think most of like, I can't speak for all of Christianity, but I feel like my understanding was that the heaven I was going to would probably have had Catholics in it as well. I feel like Protestant heaven also has like everyone that accepts Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior is going to heaven. So I don't think we need to get specific about the denomination.

What if you get up there and the Catholics are like behind a velvet rope? and theirs is a bit better They got a VIP zone Yeah They put their effort They like They were spinning The burning spice

What were you guys doing They were spitting the burning spice We should have been doing that My censor We knew they were doing it for some They had to be doing it for some reason I was gonna say They made a bigger deal

Out of loving God You know What? How do you? We loved him Through our actions Well yeah But they're putting on the writs

You know what I mean? All I'm saying is, what if you get up there? What if he get up there and it turns out that God likes a song and dance? Yeah, true. And he's not humble or chill at all. I'm not talking soft Christian rock. It's got to be a song and dance in like Latin. Lots of gold.

I do think that the sort of Protestantism could benefit from having like a big palace of some kind and like a guy that's in it who's like the guy. Yeah, I'd be way more into it. Just start with like a signature hat. Yeah. Start with the hats because I think it's easier. More accoutrement. More accutraman.

That's what I'm asking for. Fufra. Acutraman. It's a lot easier. It's not so easy to put like gold and filigree everywhere. It's a lot easier to upgrade everyone's hat. Or even give them a hat. Yeah.

Guy up the front. Martin Luther seemed to have a very practical hat. I'll send your photo. Okay. Yeah. This is a set up for a visual gag. No, no docks, no, no, no gag. Sorry, I was thinking of the word docks before,

because you might wear this to the docks. There's no gag or anything. It's just a good practical hat. Oh, okay. I don't even know how to describe that for the listener. It's maybe the kind of hat, a Van Gogh type figure, would wear. I look at that and I think a Dutch painter is wearing that. Yeah.

Weirdly. If you have a frame of reference for Dutch painter's hat, just rotate that in your mind. And imagine it on the head of every Protestant church. No, guy up the front gets it. Not everyone gets it. You don't see all the people at the Catholic church wearing the Pope's hat. That would look crazy.

Oh, yeah. If one guy's got the Pope hat on, everybody else in the room goes, okay. He must have something going on. Martin Luther banging on the doors with his demands going like, you shouldn't have to go through the Pope

to get to heaven. you should go through me. And my hat's not as big. My hat is kind of more wide than it is tall. That's one of the big differences between me and the Pope. What if you get up there and, like, it turns out all the denominations, every religion, he's just going off hats. You know? Yeah, big hat guy.

Just wants cool hats? You were from a denomination that had a hat. Yarmacus, the sort of Islamic skull cap thing. Yep. Don't know what those are called, sorry. Anyone who was put an effort into a hat. Seek hair kind of wrap. Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah, they're getting in for sure. Really fucking nailed that one. Also having a ceremonial knife as part of your religion. That's very cool. Very cool. Mormons, no hats, just underwear. True. No fun.

Tibetan monk? God hates that. Tibetan monk hats? No underwear. No fun. No hat. Some underwear. No fun.

The Tibetan Buddhist monks have like a big mohawk. Incredible. And they're in there too. You know? They're in there laughing. And you've been going to Protestant church this whole time. Yeah. You're looking through the gates.

Come on. Yeah. I didn't think those guys even believed in you. But no, they got the message. They got the hats. Oh, God. It turns out that all forms of worship are away to the divine, except you needed to have a hat. You were meant to, that was the main message you were meant to get.

He likes hats, guys. He just likes Akutraman. He's just, God loves Akutraman. God loves him. I just want you to put a little out of some flair. Quote, I took it as a lifesaver, Perry said. I probably wouldn't be talking to you guys right now. If you had been shot through the chest, yeah.

Yeah. Probably not. Yeah. Hold on a second. I took it as a lifesaver. Yeah. How. Like, is that just a crazy way of saying, yes, it saved my life?

Yes, I took it as a lifesaver. Insane sentence. Understanding this object is a life-saving thing, both in the sense of it ensures my eternal reward, and also it protected me from the bullet that nearly killed me. Isn't that beautiful? That is beautiful. Being saved twice. After lifesaver, too, you know?

Yes. Yes. Only one of us is being protected, by the way, and it's Andrew. Because he's got his thick gold chain Apparently I've got to put a fucking cross on it Yeah dude I mean that's also pretty Fucking baller

A series of crosses I want as many as possible Fucking Tony Soprano dude That'd be fucking sick You should get a fucking cross on your chain If you get enough chains going on It does become a chain mail situation And if you were wearing chain mail all the time

You would be well protected From a gunshot to the chest I gotta wear more chain mail We've got to wear more chain mail in general. Still vulnerable to bludgeoning weapons. That's fine. They're less common these days, I feel. That's true.

Not a lot of people rock the maces. And they've got to be closer, usually. Yeah. I'm just trying to cover some bases. I'm not covering any bases right now. You will be protected by the terrifying arrows of British log moment. So at least you'll have that. True.

At the moment, I am very vulnerable to piercing damage. Yes. Bludgeoning damage. Slashing damage. Electrical fire. Poison. Sleepy. gasses, various gases.

Gases. Psychological. Yeah. Costic. Sanity. Holy though? I'm fine. Okay.

Because you're pure. Where's your hat? You're pure of heart. I just because I'm a hat at. Yeah, I don't see a hat. Atheist. R. Slash atheist, I think.

What if you get up there and there's guys who are frequent posters on R slash atheist, but they were dudes who never took their hats off? Yeah. So I'm in. Yeah. That was it. That was it. Because they're balding.

Because they have no hair. Yeah. Not yet. But no one will notice a change when I do start losing my hair. I'm laying the groundwork, brother. I'm laying the groundwork. Lay the hat groundwork. Perry said he was shot after his friend accidentally opened fire while showing off a gun.

Bless up. It's a miracle. Prayers up. Yeah. Oh, man. God. But this man in my life to challenge me. So mysterious.

Yes, this was a spiritual challenge. At trial, like you're a job. Yeah. The trial was my friend firing at me with a gun by accident. Yo, check out this gun. And I passed. Oh, my God, it's a miracle. Fuck, I got jobed.

When they say open fire. Yeah, that's a great. I imagine a series of gunshots. If you say they open fire. Like as a joke, like brat, brat, brach. It would be funny if I shot you. I guess when they use the phrase here, his friend accidentally opened fire. I'm imagining someone who accidentally held his finger down on the trigger of a Mac 10.

Full order, yeah, 100%. If you hold it down, does it keep shooting? Depends. Depends on the gun. Yeah. Yeah, not a pistol. Call of duty to know about firing modes. Yeah.

Single fire. I re-downloaded Call of Duty today. I'm in a bad place. Three round per. I thought you were thriving. You're not thriving at all. I'm not thriving. Have you been thriving on the outside?

I'm thriving on the outside. And then at home I'm re-downloading Call of Duty. Jesus. Good Lord. Fuck. A full recovery will take some time, but the 20-year-old is in good spirits. Quote, even with a little bit of pain, I'm still here. So it's fine, Perry said, as long as I'm still here.

Oh, as long as you're alive? You don't want to go to the kingdom of heaven, brother? Well, you've got to live first. Because this is your chance to witness to the other people that have haven't. How big was that cross? Like, can't be a little dainty one. He's like rocking like a big, like a really baller cross. You can barely walk.

Trauma surgeons at HCA Florida Ocala Hospital called the survival divine intervention. Oh, they didn't. You can't. Doctors, I don't know if the doctors are telling you that you survive because of divine. intervention. Yeah. Especially the ones that just... Maybe no Carla.

I don't think a lot of trauma surgeons say it was definitely God that saved his life. Yeah, guy that operated on him for 36 hours. They're like, wow, God saved him. God saved him. Can I go to bed now? Quote, because of the necklace is a metallic component, it actually shielded a lot of the force, a lot of the force of the bullets. Said Dr. Kafra Garcia-Henry... Yeah, we get how metal works.

Well, so the... The bullet ricocheted off the necklace and entered his chest small. However, it was just in his fat tissues because it slowed down the trajectory of the bullet. So it didn't like fully like bounce it off Superman style. Just trying to soften the blow or something. Yeah. Okay. Henry said it could have been a deadly outcome if Perry was not wearing the necklace.

Quote, the bullet could have entered his chest wall itself into the plural space, which is the airspace around the lung between the bones and injuring his lung itself. or his heart. Aaron Perry gave his son the necklace last Christmas, never imagining the kind of miracle it would bring. I don't know if my son being accidentally shot in the chest would qualify as a miracle to me. I mean, it's Florida.

You can't get accidentally shot. You get a free one. You know what they're like down there. You get a molligan? It's pretty good. You must probably, you know, you would feel that maybe, I don't know, I'm just speculating, I'm not a father,

but I would feel like maybe the greatest gift you could give your son is like the knowledge and tools of guidance for them to enter the world, confident and happy and able to take advantage of every opportunity that's given. Positive masculinity. Positive masculinity. Able to deal with like the trials and tribulations of life and just comport themselves well. But maybe I think actually the best gift you can give your son is a necklace that deflects

a bullet at a critical moment. Start giving. your son. Tons of chunky jewelry now. Get your son a bigger chain. Don't give the fuck about him being psychologically well-adjusted. Load him up with jewelry. Load him up. Jule him up. They say it's two kinds of investment.

Trust your boy. Frost your son. Gild your kid. Do you reckon it was a real gold chain? That's funny they say metal. They say the phrase metal. He's talking about metal, right? And I would assume that if you had a large gold chain,

it would be softer. It would be so soft. It would be less likely to impede the bullet than, you know, some gold-plated tin. Yeah, but it wouldn't shatter, though. You want it to be somewhat malleable, but not completely. Take some of the energy. I don't think he gave him a pure gold cross, is my suspicion. I don't know what their financial...

Pudor is a metal. In Okala? You're going to go down in Okala? I swear to God we're going to have one listener right in and say, actually. I think we've probably got multiple Okala listeners. Is Ok. Is Okala the name of the place? Okay.

What is Okala? It's just a place in Florida. It's a city of central Florida, yeah. It's a fairly large city. Quote, so many emotions, Aaron Perry said. I don't want to say it was just a gift, but it came. from the heart. I think God played a big role. Oh no, sorry, we're on to the sun now.

Quote, I think God played a big role in this, Aidan Perry said. I think he's the reason that I'm still here today. Aiden and Aaron Perry. I don't like that. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. I see my son Aaron. Aaron. Perry.

You ever seen that it's a video. This is for fucking ages ago, but it's a guy with like a, I think it's specifically made to be about a guy with like a Detroit accent saying Aaron earned an iron urn and it's good check it out if you could find what i'm talking about oh you'll have a laugh in detroit uh the man accused of shooting perry was arrested in sumter county and charged with culpable negligence causing injury i guess okay yeah uh accidents happen ever heard of that yes

to forgive is divine ever heard of that yeah i think wouldn't you look at the circumstances be like well god saved him so it's not a problem yeah What's the problem? God's already judged him. Yes. So, who you do? And he's decided he shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions because he saved the other guy.

Yeah. You don't get to invoke the divinity in saying, oh, this miraculous event, this miracle from God happened, but also God didn't pull the trigger. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah. God staged this event for you. Saying Satan pulled that trigger?

God stage this event for you to see his divine influence in the world and you're like, by the way, charge him. Charge him with a crime. The divinity was just here in this half of the room, but eight to ten feet away, no divinity. No. You sound fucking insane. It's crazy.

Hey, if you bought your son a beautiful gold cross and it didn't save his life, you'd kind of feel scammed. We talk about scams in Scamwatch. Warning, warning. Someone has successfully or unsuccessfully attempted a scan and must be judged. This is Sam Watch. It's from press agency, Ajon's Fron spraise.

Fake astronaut scams Lovestrack Japanese octogenarian. Lovestrak? Maybe. LoveStrake with how beautiful this sentence is. Fake astronaut. Fake astronaut. Astronaut, scams, love-struck Japanese octogenarian. Beautiful.

We don't really need to list races, do we? But I guess it matters. Because I guess that matters. If it matters to you, we're listing it here. I guess you heard the story about an auctionarian getting scammed by a fake astronaut. Your first thought was, oh, but was she white? What race, though? What race?

first question. You don't have to know the color of everyone that's in a story, okay? It doesn't matter. Why didn't we say who the fake astronaut was? That's interesting. Are they from Brazil? Are they Brazilian? Uruguay? Uruguay and fake asians. Do we, I'm worried that we're not going to

find out, I'm worried we're not going to find out the scammers race in this story. Hey, do you guys remember Liz Truss's poly ring necklace thing? Oh my God. I forgot. got about that. She would wear a ring on a necklace.

Was it like a dom-sub thing? Yeah, because of her swinger lifestyle. But she'd like wear it to like conferences and stuff. This sounds from it. Was it dom and sub? Or was it like a, was it like a, is there a poly necklace? Yeah. I feel more like Liz Truss is going to have just bought that by accident.

Imagine if that saved her from an assassination attempt. Catches the bullet? She's like, yes, thank you. Thank you. You can't. I'll continue. It's usually used to seal up something where you've joined two connectors in like a gas or a water system of some kind.

Yeah. A Japanese oxygener... A Japanese oxygener... A Japanese oxygenarian was swindled out of one million yen after falling in love online with a self-described astronaut who sought her help to avert a spaceship crisis.

That's somewhere between one and a one hundred $1,000. Oh, look, can I just say something? I am astronaut. Oh, space is so scary. I'm having a space crisis. I am from your wife. There's a hole in the starboard side of the spaceship.

Yes, yes. Yes. Guys, I got to admit something. And it's taking on water. I hate it. I hate when I get swindled. Yeah. Oh, yeah, me too.

Getting swindled, that feeling. You know, when you say, have I been swindled again? But sometimes a swindling can just be that someone like overcharged you for something that could have been cheaper. Yeah, I'm getting swindled at the fucking swindled every week. Either way, let's all agree. The big two are swindling us. The big two are swindling. That's a swindling.

Let's all agree. After you've been swindled, you're putting your hands in your pockets. You're pulling those things inside. out and there's a little moth flying off Yeah Yeah Ah, consarn it Yeah

I'm swindled I think a swindle I think a swindle's deliberate Yeah Yeah but I'm saying that someone's Fleecing you when you're getting swindled It counts as a swindling Oh see I thought you were referring to like

An accidental overcharge No I mean like a proper This guy's being like Yeah You get fleecing Swindling And then you go to the porn shop The guy says

There's no fucking strativarius It's not even a violin This is a squire Yeah it's the cheek Swindling involves deceit. It's an epiphone. Fleece just means that they got you on the hook for a lot of money. They might know you've been deceiving you.

They might just be kind of like, you might be there. There's not necessarily deception in a fleecing. I think fleecing is a subset of swindling. I think swindling is a superset. I think you could draw them as overlapping circles. Yes. Swindling's not necessarily a scam. No.

I think there is an element to if someone just rips you off. You know, you're at a touristy place. A guy that charges you If you get a $10 A hot dog? Swindled. Can we put it like... Can we put it like this?

When you get scammed, you've been ripped off, but when you get ripped off, it doesn't always mean you've been scammed. Correct. There we go. True. But what about swindling?

Yes. The hapless woman in Hokkaido met the fraudster in July on social media who claimed to be a male astronaut, a local police officer told AFP, describe the case as a Roman scam. Don't stupid bitch in her. He can't say that. You can't say someone's hapless in news voice.

Yeah. You can say that to your friends, to your co-workers. Yeah. Don't call this. If you're putting out a wire. Don't call her pathetic. We don't know that she's hapless. Maybe she had a fucking moment of weakness. Dumb Hokkaido slut. She was so horny for this beautiful, he requires an astronaut. I love them. That's like a sexy job. It's like, well, what do you do for work? Oh, I'm an astronaut. I mean, you've got to work for NASA. You got to have the best of everything to be an astronaut.

You have to be physically in peak shape. You have to be like a PhD-level... PhD cum-gutters. Come-gutter guy. But you also have to be really psychologically robust. They select astronauts for people that won't freak out on the other astronauts. Calm, masculine, but calm. No space madness.

Like the thing they select for the most is people that just like brush off minor inconveniences, basically. That are assertive about their needs so that things don't become problem. but they're not like easily aggravated by stuff. But that sounds like the sort of person is not going to beg an old Japanese lady for money. Well, what if they're in a really bad situation? Would you guys be more offended if you heard that someone from work had called you an idiot or that they'd called you hapless? Hapless is so patronizing.

It's so much worse. Yeah. It's so condescending. If you call me an idiot, I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'm pretty fucking stupid. Yeah. You call me hapless. I'm a man.

I'm an adult. hapless, yeah. I can do stuff. I'm not hapless. In my soul, I'm a turtle, and I'm upside down on my shell, and I'm kind of, like, kicking about. And we're not helping you. Why is that? Why isn't you helping me?

Oh, I'd hate to be called gormless at work. Oh, you've got to change jobs. You've got to change jobs. You're leaving. And there's gap on your resume? Oh, that's after, yeah. Yeah, they called me gormless at my last job, and I had to go. I had to spend some extra.

I wasn't though I'm not I'm not gormless I have gorm I have I'm gormful I'm gorm coming out of my ass I'm ready for this I'm gorm like you wouldn't fucking believe I did some courses It's an acorn

My sirt for in gorm Gorm After some exchanges, the scammer one day told her he was, quote, in a space, sorry, quote, in space on a spaceship right now. The double up on space is so good. What are you up to? Yeah, I'm in space tonight. Just watching some Netflix in space.

W-Y-D. But he was quote, under attack and in need of oxygen, the official said, so what is it did you see money and the credit card help god the pleadians

yeah pleadians are getting this real man oh I'm feeling pretty faint right now need iTunes gift card $1,000

I chute's gift card for space oxygen because of Pleadians you transfer me some space oxygen I would love to get back to Earth and one day have beautiful sex with you

but Pleadians They breached the whole Nautical term If you don't boobul Nusum Kudakash in the next five minutes You got boobo? Japan have booble

They're scuppering us It's also a nautical term We're mostly boopal in space Buporoooooooo! Oh no No No The scammer then urged her to pay him

online to help him buy oxygen. This rocks, thank you so much. Thank you, Ben. From where? Amazon Prime, how are they getting it to you? What do you mean you're going to pay for it? No, I get this.

I remember, I read, did you guys read Peacoyle back in the day? Did you guys read Peacall? Because the example they gave of like what happens when demand outstripped supplies. Imagine you're on a spacecraft with like other rich people. and they're rationing oxygen. Suddenly, those people are going to start paying a lot for oxygen. Katie Perry's on there, too. Unless...

Fucking load of money. Yeah, that's sad, isn't it? Katie Perry be the one that comes back down. Yeah, true. Is that how we should organize society? There's got to be a better way. There's got to be a better way. Well, cheering at the news conference while they just silently wheel a crate off behind them

in the background of a shot. The woman lives alone and started developing feelings for him as their online communication progressed. Local media, including Hokkaido Broadcasting, said, quoting investigative sources. Here's the thing, you can be 80-something years old. You still want love. Yeah.

Yeah, you still feel like him. You still yearn. You still want an astronaut with cum gutters. That's human. That's human. That is so human to want an astronaut with cum gutters. Just a beautiful PhD in something. cool as well. No one of like the boring things.

You're like, what was your thesis on? You're like, oh, God. I regret asking because now you're going to want to talk about it. You wanted to be one of those ones. You're like, holy fuck, you got to actually, you built that as part of your PhD and you have cum gutters, a little bit of body fat. A little bit of body fat. A little bit of hair on the back of the hands as well in a way. Those are the hands of someone that can fix their own car. It comes all the way down in the arm.

The hair just comes under the hands a little bit. A couple of you. Your tattoos have already started fading, but you're not that old. They look really like they've got a greenish hue. A friend did them to you. You're so cool. I bet you couldn't pick me up. Actually, I've been struggling to get my TV isn't set up right.

Maybe you could come over and show me how to, you're really good with like this technology stuff. I'm just not good with cords. I know that you're just better with technology. Actually, why are you in the bedroom at the moment? I'll just lay here and I'll just watch. you pop that shirt off it's hard in here ACs busted you put yourself through astronaut school modeling

that's so interesting you look like you need to cool down what about a long island ice tea I'll make yours a double that's right 24 stead 24 drinks you and I are two double long island ice teas now let's pop that shirt off we don't want to get a dirty

while you're looking at my TV mount situation while I'm making this you hit the shower really dirty back there it's really dusty. I've got a PS5. It's dusty. Better pop the pants off, too. Just to be safe. I think I'm in love with this astronaut. Quote, if a person you met on social media ever demanded cash from you, please be suspicious of the possibility of scam and report to police the official.

No, I am. Generally. I'm in love. Don't let cynicism take over. your heart. If Wyatt Russell sends me a DM and he's like, my dad, Kurt Russell, cut me off, I need money to make new movie. I'll be like, oh, I guess I could send you a little money. Hello, Lux Valentine. I am real Wyatt. And I love you. I love movies and you. Japan is the world's second oldest population after Tiny Monaco, according to the World Bank and older people frequently fall prey to various forms of organized fraud. That's one of the things they don't talk last in this article. Yeah, Haplems, they're tiny.

You know, baby, Monaco, oh, you've got an F1 track and a bunch of casinos. And the old hapless Japanese. Not doing so well after the war, are we? Yeah, I think you might have made the wrong choice in World War II. That is one of the things they don't do. talk about with an aging population is how much more susceptible we as a society going to get because we've got you know pretty badly aging population we've got an aging population talk to your fucking grandparents you've got to either get them off devices or genuinely

teach them how to use them or just your parents as well like they're going bad your parents too they're going yeah they're going off like sooner than they should no that can't no i don't think that's true yeah sorry it's not going to help anything when people's grandparents start getting scammed by scammers who now have access to like AI models where you can say generate picture of Wyatt Russell in hotel room bed shirt off

sheet down by waist yeah smiling you can just do that holding up Punta Vista shirt well if you get the right one you can get him doing much much more yeah I've seen some pictures of Yoda that you wouldn't believe it's gonna

I just don't know how we as a society are going to cope with the moment when scammers will just like, they'll find a picture of your grandkid, feed some prompts in the AI to be like, blurry photo of this person in jail, they text you and be like, oh, it's me,

grandson, I'm in jail. It's me, Grayson, I need 25K. It's me, Hunter, Mason. Ben, great news. That's already happening. I saw a thing the other day where some law enforcement

official or something to do with gamming that I was reading about. And they were saying, ah, we think that people are already using AI agents to just do that, like, low-level filtering of starting the conversations with people and getting them on the hook. Well, especially because, as we've established over and over again, you've just got to be the kind of person who is just not able at all to gauge all the signs that something's not right in the interaction you're having. You're filtering for stupid. Yeah, so perfect person to match up with a little AI agent, you know.

But think of all the value that they're bringing to society. You can Google something and instead of showing you the result you want it will tell you something that's incorrect. Yes. Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, and they killed that one, the tiny little, the cutest little baby blamer from Madagascar to do it. And they just kind of ripped his head off.

His or their head off. Yeah, very violent, gruesome death for that little guy. Help me, me more. I mean a pungy pit. I think I'm just, just ready now to actually try to extricate myself from using any Google products. I've put it off for a lot of years because I'm always thinking, it's hard.

It'd be real hard. I think I might be there. I'm having such a bad time with every product of theirs that I use. And I'm sort of in the hole on a bunch of them. So I think I'm going to see if I can do it. It's got to be possible. They don't own me. They don't own my.

Well, they got a lot of my photos. I have so much of my data. I've had a Gmail account since I was like fucking 12 or 13 years old. I've been back and all our shit up to like Google Photos accounts on drive for, I don't know, 15 years.

There's got to be a way to transfer it. I can do it. I can get off the grid somehow. Hey, Japan, that ageing population is going to cause problems. They're not the only country with problems. We talk about another country that has lots of problems in America Watch. America

This comes to us from the Associated Press A downturn in international travel to the US May last beyond summer, experts warn Yeah Uh, uh, yeah Yeah, I think it might Yeah, I was going to call this one No Duh

watch. That seems kind of stupid, so I didn't. From northern border towns to major hotspots like Las Vegas and Los Angeles, popular travel destinations reported hosting fewer foreign visitors this summer. Experts and some local officials attribute the trend that first emerged in February to President Donald Trump's return to the White House. They say his tariffs, immigration crackdown and repeated jabs about the U.S. acquiring Canada and Greenland alienated travelers from other parts of the world. Yeah.

I think it's sort of like the vague risk that you might go through border security and they'll see like a meme you have on your phone and then blackbag you? Yeah. They'll black, yeah, I don't want to be blackbacked. I don't think people in general kind of, yeah. I love the US.

I think it's a really beautiful country. I love the US. I would not go there right now. It's a shame. It's got some of my favorite places in the whole world. I love nothing more than just driving around the US and experiencing that big, beautiful country at all, it's beautiful people.

I don't want to fucking go there anymore. But the black bag. the black bag they black bag you at the airport What percentage of black baggings? I got black bagged

at the airport They black bagged me They black bagged you What percentage of black baggings Do you think Result in them pulling off The black bag for you to find you You're in a better place

Than before they put the bag on Well I guess if you landed in Florida Maybe It's got to be like a really thin wedge of that amount. It's mostly worse. I'm going to say almost all the time. Probably almost all the time.

Man, I don't want to get into this too difficult because it's just super depressing. But that guy that they got undeported, they're just now deporting to a different country. Yeah. Like, it's pretty good. And we can all kind of see this happening, by the way. The world is watching. We can see you guys. But we can't do anything about it because we're kind of all under the thumb of the US.

And there's like nothing really we can withhold that would make any impact. We just wait for you guys to kill over and die. I'm withholding sex. Donald Trump, you cannot get this. I'm withholding affection. Donald Trump, if you want Theo's sweet little boy pussy, it is not on the cards. Don't. Don't say that.

He said that. I was just saying the subtext out loud. They're not said sweet little boy pussy. Well, obviously he's offering up the boy pussy, his mouth, his hands, his feet. That goes without saying. Yeah. He's sort of a pass-around thing. but not anymore

Donald Trump has sons you're not taking a flight that long to get over there and start laying down the groundwork of here's what I will do here's what I won't do yeah it's all or nothing

you kind of have to put it all out there and say I'm yours right now Anyhole anything a bit thrilling Mr. President you can get hand stuff come on me

in me hand stuff but there will be no kissing There will be no kissing until you shut down the black sights, Mr. President. No aftercare. The moment it's all over, I am getting up and leaving the room. We will not be cuddling, Mr. President.

Let's just say I won't be checking in on how it was for you. This one's trash. Let's dump it. Sorry, this article is going to a punchline, I promise. It's not just dwelling on the, you know. The state of things. Yeah. I know I'm laughing.

The World Travel and Tourism Council projected ahead of Memorial Day that the U.S. would be the only country among the 184 it studied where foreign visitor spending would fall in 2025. The finding was a clear indicator that the global appeal of the U.S. is slipping the global. industry association said no shit yeah you've got seen any of those videos um i i will see occasionally on like a ticot or instagram somebody on the los vegas strip just like panning around there's fucking nobody there there must be stat i feel like they're covering up the stats they're hiding it from us oh yeah like Australians aren't going there right now no everyone you talk to

it's insane to go there everyone's like oh i wouldn't go there because we're all very you know comfortable in our lives are basically mostly free from you know, any real existential threat, but even us comfortable, privileged white people are still being like, ah, it doesn't seem like it's worth it. I don't want them to pull up some shit on my phone and then just, you know, send me an antigua. What if they black bag me?

My kids... They black bag me, Jerry. They black bag me! My kids, my younger daughter, who is nine, has a friend who is going to America soon. And so they talk to each other on Facebook. Messenger, which is one of the only sort of internet connected things that my kids have. Facebook Messenger for kids.

They can only talk to other kids that you know. And you've, you and their parents have both said, agree. You know, you've turned the keys at the same time on the launch. And so her friends going over there. And she was talking about trying to figure out if she needs to delete messages from her chats because she assumes that when they get over there, they're going to look. through their messages and shit. I assume because her parents have been talking about,

yeah. Oh, well, yeah, you have to hand over your devices and let them look through all your shit and figure out if you're an ideological traitor when you get there. But I guess the point I'm making is just that for that to have filtered down to like nine-year-old Australian kids

as a thing to be concerned about if you're traveling to America, that fucking says something, right? Probably not great. The reality is they're not going through every single person's phone and turn them away if you follow like a fucking left wing Twitter account or whatever

it's just the thought No, but everybody's nervous about it Yeah, the thought of like what could happen If they decide that it's you You know, you're the guy that had the meme of J.D. Vance or whatever on your phone Yeah, or you said orange Mussolini And you're out. You're in the black bag.

You're going to fucking Canada instead now. You're going to BAMF. You're going to BAMF. Go to BAMF. Yeah, you're not going to Colorado. Like fucking, okay, well you were going to go to Montana. Too bad. You're only going to the Canadian side of You're off to Quebec.

They're sending you to Quebec. They're sending you to Quebec. Everyone's speaking French. You don't know what's going on. And look, sure. It's worse than going to America in a lot of regards. Certainly not as interesting. It's like going to just a slightly more boring version of Australia.

But, you know, you're not, there's not the chance. There isn't the, you know. Organizers of an international swing dancing event said an impression of America's hostility to foreigners led them to. to postpone the event, which have been scheduled to take place this month in the Harlem area of New York City. Uh-huh.

About three months into Trump's second term, international competitors began pulling out of the world finals for the international Lindy Hop Championships, saying they felt unwelcome event co-producer, Tina Morales said. Okay. All right, so they're having the world, no, the international Lindy Hop championships in Harlem, because that's where the Lindy Hop was born,

The African-American communities in Harlem in like the 20s and 30s are truly original, completely unique American invention and the people that do it at an international level are saying that we can't do it. We're going to have to hold this outside of the United States. You're two quirked up white boys. Montreal, Germany. Quebecal-Lindi hop. Like if you weren't taking this seriously now,

if you were looking at the news about America and you're going I don't think it's that big of a deal you fucking tell me now that they have to do the world Lindy Hop championships outside America in Quebec? In Quebec? They're letting this become an event

Quebecian. Fucking disgusting what this is going to do. Gross. Fucked up. About half the attendees each year come from outside the US primarily from Canada and France. Oh, you'd probably fine to hold it in Oh, perfect then.

It seems like Quebec would actually be the... We really nailed it. Maybe you can even get Justin Trudeau to get on board. He might bring Katie Perry. He might bring Katie Perry. Are they dating? I don't know. Are they fucking...

Are they dating? I think they might be dating. Why are you asking me? I'm like the pop culture consultant. You read the celebrity rags? Yeah. The trade magazines. I think they're sucking and fucking.

It's very funny to imagine. like high-level celebs and politicians figuring it out for the first time. Yeah. What's it like the first time you have sex with Katie Perry? Oh, you never forget. You never forget your first time. She's got the glass in her vagina.

Yeah. Like the song. Yeah. Contest organizers considering whether to host the annual competition in another country until Trump's presidency ends, Morales. said, quote, the climate is still the same

and what we're hearing is still the same and the dancers don't want to come here, he said, you've lost the fucking Lindy Hop dancers. Lost the Lindy Hoppers. You're fucked. You're done. What are we doing here? You can't do the Lindy Hop in America?

Can't do the Charleston? Yeah. Can't do, is the jitterbug American as well? Can't do the jitterbug. Can't do the doggy. Can't do any of your sexually charged dancers. Doggy. Don't do doggy.

Reverse cowgirl. And the rest. They check your phone to see if you've been watching reverse cowgirls. With their healthcare system, you don't want to be doing the reverse cowgirl. No, that you don't want to be doing a reverse cowgirl generally. No, that's far too risky, I'd say. And honestly, I think the view's not as good. Is that?

Yeah. I don't think you're allowed to say that. Yeah. Unless you want some time with no eye contacts because of you're like thing that you have. And then, sure, take a little break from it. But, you know. Take a little break from eye contact. You can maybe feel more in the moment if you're not worried about how you're being perceived, I guess.

Hey, hon, I'm overstimulated right now. Do you want to just turn around? I promise. I promise I won't stack your dick in half accidentally by doing it this way. I'm tired of masking. Can we do reverse? God. Just a little masking break here.

We are going to go into reverse cowgirl now. Yeah. See, when you put it like that, I think it is nicer to ask for reverse cowgirl that it is to say, babe, can I have some ceiling time? Can I just, I'm just going to. I'm just going to go nonverbal for a bit. I'm still right here with you. I'm still right here with you and I really enjoy it. I am going to look at the light fixture for the next seven minutes, okay?

We will still be having sex. It helps me focus more. If we're not making eye contact, I can actually engage with what you're saying a lot. more. It allows the brain to focus on the pleasure instead of wondering if my face is being normal. Don't talk to me though. Don't talk to me. Just to be clear, don't talk to me.

Oh, fuck. I think this was an episode of the podcast. Bonta Vista. Did you get your money's worth? Yeah, you're a filthy little pig. Yeah. Did you like that? Did you like that?

Did it turn you on? Are you close? I'm talking to me? I made a huge mistake the other day and out of curiosity, Googled Bunta Vista Reddit and ignoring the top result, which is for our subreddit, the no-one posts in.

I was just seeing if we popped up on Reddit and other places and someone gave us like a positive recommendation to someone that was looking for podcasts that were like hosted by normal people with like real lives. Yeah. They phrased it in a slightly different way.

but they were like talking in like um as opposed to the thing where it's a really polished sort of product and it's more of a production than like just actual people yeah which i was like that's really nice it's a nice way to think of us and then i realized that was someone asking for like i need one that's kind of parasocial yeah oh okay i need to imagine that i'm also friends i want to feel like they're my friends yeah and uh we are we are your friends you'll never be alone again yes that video clip it's so good to that song

you know your friends justice versus simian no oh Andrew you know this video clip oh of course man slow-mo waking up in the house

and they're all surrounded by stuff and oh he's tipping off the couch whee great song thank you so much for listening to the podcast Buntavista

tell a friend just be like hey they're like just kind of people you know they're They called us old friends from, like, way back as well, which I liked. I was like, you know what, we are actually old friends.

That's why we sound so familiar. Yeah, because we're so fucking used to each other at this point. Basically say anything to each other. Anything. I'm coming. You're a little pass-around thing. We'll talk to you next week. Bye.

Goodbye. We're going to be able to be. You know,