Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: You, Your Husband, Your Cockapoos, And The Anus

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

It's Freemium Freebruary! The bonus episodes are on us for, this, the shortest month of the year. *** Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A crumbling empire's roadwars, an unwelcome guest in your brown slop, big time egg theft, and the RIPing Report. *** Outro: Thebes - Om

Hello and welcome to Vista. This is a bonus episode. I'm Ben and I'm right here next to you. Can you feel it? That frisson of energy. There's a tension. Not the sense of anxiety, but in the sense of potential energy. Something held taut that once broken will come with a great release.

God, we've been waiting so long. Could this be the moment? I feel like my awareness is extended outside my body and expanded to include yours. I feel like even if I close my eyes, I could feel you there. The inches between us feeling at once like the space between particles and the space between the stars. Also with us, their hot breath prickling the hairs on your neck. It's Theo. Hi Theo. Hi. It's really sexy.

It's really sexy. It's really hot. Just watching your reaction and trying, like just squeezing the muscles in my brain that interpret like social. You have to understand, I kind of think of you as being like unbelievably. Sexy. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, correct. Yep. Not just smooth down there. This man's got stuff, all right. Also with us, their hand warm and reassuring on your thigh. It's Lucy. Hi Lucy.

Hey, my hands are never warm. I have terrible circulation. Let's keep this realistic. They are very cold. Yeah. Still reassuring or just like cold and alienating? Maybe it's hot and my cold hands feel pleasant. Yes, pleasantly cool.

Yeah. Pleasantly cool. Like that Viking thing where you go from a sauna into the freezing ocean. Yeah, we're doing Wim Hof. Yeah, we're Wim Hoffing your thighs. We're Wim Hofing your thighs. I'm Wim Hofing your thighs. Oh, can I get a quick thigh Wim Hof over here? Lucy, what is up with your white balance by the way?

Or is that just- She looks like that. She's a very pale lady. It's just what I look like. Look, and look, he who does not look like a ghost walking through the first- Oh, I look tired. Oh, I look pale. Oh, I look pale. Oh, I look tired.

I didn't know the misogyny would start so early today. Oh, I look like the character in an Anne Rice novel. Oh. I was ready to blame the camera. It is just my camera. I'll turn my light on so that the men in the room can feel more comfortable. Am I right? I just feel uncomfortable if your appearance isn't like, you know, perfect.

Also with us, sucking on your toes like they secrete the antidote, it's Andrew. Hi, Andrew. Hey, hey, you know, you were talking before about something that's like really, really taught and about to break. Yeah. Uh, that's actually my frenulum. The bottom of the bed is filling up with blood as we speak bad boy has torn your mouth band-aid no on my penis

I'm proud of the other friend you gotta say which friend you love me talking about my bad no I'm not suck on the toes so deep that I tore my mouth, Renualum. I'm not that kind of freak. Suck it on toes and then gag him. You ready for me to deep throat these toes? No, they're not stinky. It's just like, I'm very sensitive. I am considering cutting your toenails. So this intro, Ben, like it's, it's just horny. That's like, that's the gag.

Yeah. Oh, a gag. Yeah. Okay. I worry that there's going to be somebody or multiple people out there who might have enjoyed that a little, a little too much. If there's one thing we don't want, it's people enjoying the show. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Let's just stop everybody. Let's not do anything that anyone might regard as sexy. Hey, we want to push that further away. Not bring it in. Well, okay. I mean, I would like this podcast to grow. So I'm willing to explore whatever avenues you need.

And you like, we're going to leave five seconds of seconds of dead air right now for you to picture what you like. Ready? Project your desires onto us. Ready? Because I'll do fucking anything basically and I'll find a way to enjoy it. Yeah. You got enough money?

You're going to picture Ben doing anything and go. Wow. Yuck. Oh wow. That's not quite what I expected. I think I could be into that, yeah. Hey, that's pretty messed up. You know what else is pretty messed up?

America. It's time to check in on America in America Watch. America not to get political. About is what are you saying that about what I just said or have you got another thing to No, I'm just following the word America. Yes. Not to get political because

we're not going to get political. Yeah, what do you want us to do? I'll get political. I don't give a shit. Yeah? Here we go. Thumbs down from Lucy. Yeah.

You guys, there's gonna be 9-11 too. Yep. That's all. That's all I have to say. 9-11 more. 9-11 more. You think like some actors from That's all I have to say. 9-11 more. You think some actors from out of, not actors in the theatrical sense. Like bad actors, but not in a theatrical sense.

You think that people from another country are going to try and do another 9-11, like Canada because of the tariffs? Yeah, I think that Canada. Canadian 9-11? Canadian 9-11. I think there might be a another 9-11 as a, like Canada because of the tariffs? Yeah, I think that Canada... Canadian 9-11? Canadian 9-11. I think there might be a Canadian 9-11. I'm just going to slam into you.

Oh, I'm sorry about that. I think they're going to wind up with a 9-11 coming from inside the house. That's what I think. Oh, auto 9-11. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. It's just going to be 9-11, all Americans, you know? All American 9-11.

All right. Yeah. Okay. Is that where the best players from all of the 9-elevens come together to form What? Yeah, it's like it's not an all-star game. Yeah Yeah It's in the point of the tariffs so that they like stop outsourcing stuff and that kind of thing which is yeah Is that good do your own 9-eleven? I think it's gonna drive prices up so much that somebody's gonna drive Grave digger the monster truck over the Pentagon and also

Working in the Pentagon one person it just takes one person and one grave digger monster truck Yeah, or El Toro Loco Latin Elon Musk What if I all the monster trucks like formed like Voltron into a big monster truck mech? And the monster truck mech got down to business. Now we're talking. Not to get political. Not to get political. I'm sorry about all that very insightful political chat. I got two stories for you here that I think, I don't know if.

Old Mr. Two stories over here. What the fuck is that? You know, you know damn well what he means. I don't know if you guys will be able to draw a sort of a thematic link between these stories. It might be a little abstract, but you let me know if you can pick up on some sort of common elements. Okay.

First one here is from WIVB in Buffalo, New York. Truck driver sentenced for shooting at another occupied tractor trailer on I-90. And when they say tractor trailer, they mean? They mean a semi-trailer truck. A truck. A truck. Regular truck. Yeah.

Big rig. Driving a big old truck-style truck. 18-wheeler, probably. Yeah. Yeah, probably. A truck driver has been sentenced to time in prison for shooting at another occupied tractor trailer truck. You could just say truck.

We all know what you're talking about. Yeah. I whittled that down. On I-90 in Newstead last summer, the Erie County District Attorney's Office said Monday, a high resident, Dylan Cunningham, 26, was sentenced to three and a half years in prison. Only 26 and already getting that mad in traffic. So jaded. I was going to say, That's too young to be shooting another truck. That's really an older man's sort of game.

Your life is so fucking full of possibilities that like any sort of slight or inconvenience that happens to you, you should kind of just go like, that's life. Yeah, you should be able to take that on board. I'm 26. I'd probably live forever. I'm hungry as fuck. I can't point any fingers, you know? I'm invincible, baby. And I'm 26 I'd probably live forever. I'm hungers fuck I can't point any fingers you know. I'm invincible baby and I'm full of joy. Yep I'm gonna put this

gun back in the holster. After that moment of quiet reflection in the car turning Limp Bizkit's brake stuff down from like 30 to 29 on my stereo for a second and thinking you know what pop this gun back under the dash. I don't need this. Yeah. Hey, he probably just really needed to shit when he cut me off. Yep. It's probably fine. I'm getting in the highway. He probably needs to get home and shoot someone else, you know?

Cottingham fired multiple shots into the other truck near exit 50 westbound near Cheek Tower on the morning of July 29th. The other truck was occupied by a female driver, a passenger and a 10 year old girl who was sleeping in the trucks cab None of the three were injured but one of the bullets came very close to the sleeping child Yeah, running some kind of girl power trucking company. What's going on here? Yeah, but it's just ladies Is that allowed? No, not an escort. Is this like what's what allowed? Not anymore. Are they allowed without an escort?

Is this like, uh, what's the, you know, they got the, is it like, do they still have that, that, uh, Uber style company, but it's all, it's all the lady drivers? What's that called? Uber? Uber? She, she, sheba? Sheba? Maybe? Something like that.

Something like that. What if you could do that and you could say, hey, I only want this shipping container moved by a lady Okay. Yeah Yeah, I like that. You guys are hearing a story about truckers shooting at each other on the interstate You're like that truck was full of ladies Did the ladies do any shooting they did not well. Well, you say shooting at each other. Yeah. You're right.

Yes. Let's not tarnish these fine, beautiful women. The ladies aren't shooting. Let's put ladies in charge of everything. What's with the handsome guns? And I can only sort of hang on to like the last sentence that you said. Like all of it before is gone. A very limited sort of like space of response.

So it's like, oh, there was such broads in this truck. What? Just this is not like I don't want this to. How do I say this? It's not accusatory. There's nothing. What sort of like day did you guys have? Like individually, like how were your days? Yeah, I'm tired of shit. Yeah, bad. I've had a few painkillers. I had a medical procedure Pretty good kicked out of bed at 5 a.m. I've been taking up a practice of daily meditation and I feel great. Oh

Well take that everyone Daily practice of spiteful meditation Fuck you assholes. What have you been focusing on during your, like, what's your mantra? The mantra's just, fuck you, Terry. Revenge. All I see is red the whole time my eyes are closed. What if you meditate and you just got really horny?

I was actually reading this study Theo about guys curing their own erectile dysfunction with meditation. By getting horny? Yeah, thinking yourself hard. How'd you find this study and why did you stop meditating? Listen, it's not about my boner. My boner is fine. Now I was looking for like, for like what, like what it is that, that people are, cause

you know how like there's the David Lynch transcendental meditation kind of stuff. You have your secret mantra. You can't tell anyone. Yep. But apparently most of the time it's like, um, but uh, that's a good one. That's classic. Yeah, they were really cooking when they came up with om. And there's like the sound that created the universe.

Am I correct in saying that? And there's different, there's different, different like types of meditation, you know, for different purposes and everything. And I was like looking for like, you know, what people are like actually focusing on when they're meditating, right? And some different, different stuff came up and I was like, bonus studies, bonus

studies. Now we're talking. And it was talking about these guys, guys who suffered from erectile dysfunction, focusing on like focusing on a warm sensation in their, in their groin and their lap as they did their meditation. And like half of the dudes in the study within, you know, the couple of weeks that they were doing this thing, were then able to like self-induce boners during their meditation with the power of the mind. Yeah. So they used to do something similar when I'd get really, really stoned. Oh my God.

Staring in your own gaming chair. Really stoned. Oh my God. Staring at your own dick. Sitting in my gaming chair. I just, and again, this is a, it's nothing. This is a, don't imbue any meaning into this that's not in there. It is the first episode of Freemium Free Brewery. So this one is out to the general public.

They're seeing what we're like on the bonus ones. This is kind of, I just feel like this is an odd, oddly wrapped bag. Always forget about freemium free brewery. It comes around earlier every year. It does. Is it freemium free brewery already? We're all turning and saying to each other. They've got the decorations up already.

I feel like I just finished. They're already putting stuff out for Playprol. Well, all I'll say is, let he who didn't start the episode with a really horny tone, pass the first stone. Yeah. You didn't think of that as being a horny one. Kind of just going on as we started off. You didn't think an intro about all of us being in bed with the listener, a breath on

their neck, Lucy's cold hands on their thighs, me sucking deeply upon their toes was horny in any way huh? I don't think I mentioned a bed that was in your... I might be on a chase. Your palace of imagination. We all know Andrew's very vanilla so he can't really conceive of anything else. Fine we're all in my conversation pit. Oh now we're talking. I'm gonna throw some pillows down for that. Do you think? Yeah, for sure. This traditionally you have a thick carpet in a conversation pit, right?

Shag. Shag. Shag. So that's a good start. Getting the cum out of it though. Awful. Cottingham was initially charged with attempted murder, second degree criminal possession of a weapon, first degree reckless endangerment, third degree criminal mischief and second degree menacing.

I think you should sort this list by degrees. What's third degree menacing? Well, worse than that. Menacing in the third degree? I can never remember. Wait, first degree murder is the worst one, right? Like of the murders. So first degree is the worst degree to be charged with, right?

I thought later ones. Yeah. That's right. What about burns? First degree, third degree. What burn do you want out of those? Oh, you want first. You want first.

Okay. Third is when it goes through all of the layers of skin and everything and it's hitting like the fat and the subcutaneous tissue and everything. It's when it goes through down to like where your hair follicles are. Good to know. The good news about a third degree burn is you may not feel pain because you might have burnt all the ends of your nerves away Yeah, so really you want the third degree burn. You don't want a second degree burn Yeah, or even a first that can sting try and burn yourself as badly as possible. Stay out of the second degree. Yep Ideally you want to get yourself into like a dark man kind of situation

You want dark man or not at all kind of situation. You want dark male or not at all? It's the second story here. This is from WHO in Iowa. And we're trying to divine some kind of link between these two. If you can sense like a thing there, I don't know. I've already forgotten the first story. Everybody try and put yourself into like the crossing over. Was that the name of the TV

show with the psychic guy? With John Edwards? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody. Oh, with John Edwards, everybody put yourself into the mindset of John Edwards and try and establish a link between these two. That is kind of what he did. Isn't it? Yeah. Iowa semi-driver charged with attempted murder and road rage shooting. Hmm. Okay. I'm going to need more. Let's see some common elements. A road rage incident on I-80 led to a shooting Sunday night and the arrest of a semi-driver.

Patrick Miller, 56 of Malvern, is charged with attempted murder, intimidation with a dangerous weapon, going armed with an intent and reckless use of a firearm in connection to the incident, according to a press release from the Newton Police Department. Now, 56 year old truck driver, that's appropriate behavior. They've seen some fucking shit. That's fine. He's been driving a truck for 40 years. That man has borne the brunt of a million slights.

The other guy has born the brunt of probably like 10 slights. And honestly, it's time to go psycho mode. Time to flip out. It's time to slide into complete mental illness. Don't you just want to go ape shit? Don't you want to? Absolutely. Yeah, sometimes don't you just want to go like completely like fucking ape shit? If you had two thousand of the most awful suck jobs in the world at a truck stop like this man You would have had the resentment build up inside you for years and years. You're just ready to go

You know, you don't you don't think you're getting a good suck job at the truck stop Why would you keep going back for I think you're getting a good suck job at the truck stop. Why would you keep going back for it? I think you're getting a good one. Well you see the life of a truck driver is a lonely one. And also it takes you all across that wide country, you know. So you're rarely stopping at the same place twice for a suck job. You're thinking maybe this will be the one. Maybe this won't be the Taco Bell of suck jobs, you know.

But it is. I think it's the best suck job in the world. Maybe this won't be the Taco Bell of suck jobs, you know? I think you're the best suck job in the world. But it is. You're getting a suck job and you're immediately filing a diarrhea report. I think the community nature of trucking, you know, you warn yourself, you warn each other about like, uh, there are police up ahead. Oh, there's a roadblock. Oh, the conditions, blah, blah, blah. You're also, you've got like a whisper network about the suck jobs. What's the CB code for the bad suck job?

I think it's a, I think it's like a chalk symbol of teeth drawn on the- You think truckers use hobo side to indicate whether or not the suck job is good? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

File that away under Bunta Vista Cannon. Officers with the Newtown Police Department responded to the report of the shooting around 7.07 PM after speaking to the driver of the semi that was struck by gunfire. The victim told police the shooting happened on I-80 around mile marker 164 as his semi was attempting to pass a blue Peterbilt semi pulling a white green trailer. A criminal complaint filed in the case said officers interviewed the victim after he stopped at the Love's at exit 168. There were three bullet entrance holes found in the passenger side of the truck and another hole that appeared to be an exit hole out of the front hood.

Police recovered two of what appeared to be copper jacketed 9mm projectiles from inside of the truck. Miller was located at around 7.36pm parked on the off ramp of I-80 East exit 179 in a truck matching the description of the one the shots were fired from. After Miller was directed to exit the vehicle, officers saw a brass 9mm Luger shell casing on the floor of the cab. That's not mine, I can explain that. Does that imply that the gun was a Luger? No, surely. Is that a... I don't know. It'd be odd if it was. I think maybe because the 9mm Parabellum came from the Luger originally? Is that right? We don't have the same sort of thing that

you have so like we don't have that kind of knowledge at hand. No. I will say just as a bit of texture to the story, the Peter Belt is a fine looking truck. Uh, they look like the Optimus Prime truck. If you're picturing, no, actually, no, they don't. They've got more of a nose than Optimus Prime. It's a classic, classic Mack truck kind of vibe, you know? Oh, it's your classic truck that you would have in a children's movie. Yep. If you were picturing a truck.

That's it. Correct. That's it. There it is. You're right. That's a nice truck. Ooh. Saw a That's it. There it is. Yeah, right. That's a nice truck. Ooh. Saw a picture of my little classic truck.

The 9mm was made for the Luger. I, but I think that's a dope gun to be leaning out of your Peter Biltum firing. I agree. Slightly Nazi vibe, but I'll allow it. Yeah. Did your grandpa take that in the war? Yeah. Didn't say which side he was on.

Did he keep it after the end of the war, I guess is what I'm saying. After police merandized Miller, I've never heard it said like that before. Merandized? They ran him his rights. They ran him his rights. Yeah. They merandized him. Funny, funny verb.

Yeah. He's going to be merandized and getting really disappointed afterwards. No, are you going to force Miranda? Oh, you're reading my rights. Okay. Americans are so fucking, they're so proud that they've got a little incantation before they take away all of your rights. Yeah.

Yeah. The spell that they recite to you before they stomp you to death. Yeah. If you don't say it, it doesn't count. Yeah, they go do a little Simon Says at the start of the... The complaint said that Miller told the officer he saw the victim's truck and another Peterbilt semi with a grain truck engaged in road rage activity between Altoona and mile marker 179.

That's a good, that's a good excuse. Oh no, no, no, no, identical truck to mine. I saw it happen. Just the same truck. Yeah, that was crazy. Uh, he admitted he owned a nine millimeter pistol, but claimed there were no firearms in the truck and quote, the nine millimeter casings were going to be used for a project of creating his own hood ornament.

Nice try. Proof that it's not. Yeah. He's a crafty guy. After receiving a search warrant for the semi, officers located 11 brass 9mm Luger shell casings in the front of the vehicle, and a 9mm Luger Taurus pistol was also located with one cartridge left in the magazine, a copper jacketed nine millimeter projectile.

What's he been doing with all that? Well, waiting. Yeah, I guess. For exactly this to happen. He's been waiting for just to have his falling down day. I knew it was coming and I knew I had to be ready. And then I was finally gonna have my falling down day I knew I'd get to complain about the fast food that I got I

Knew I'd get to complain about like how many spam phone calls I get now Most of all thing to falling down about because it's kind of directionless Like where are you gonna go about this the spam calls? Where do you yeah, like wouldn't it be? hey, can we get a 2025 remake of Falling Down with concerns about the current capitalist landscape? Imagine, imagine Michael

Douglas's defense ranting about AI, you know? We used to make things in this country. Just pay illustrators, he'd say. We used to write our own fucking emails. Just to be clear, I'm not the bad guy, he'd say.

An initial appearance is scheduled for February 25th. I think he's going to get away with it, I suspect. Yeah, I reckon. You know, like sometimes if you talk to like other Australians that have never been to America, they come off as kind of like really paranoid. It's like, oh no, I wouldn't want to go over there because you know, like the gun violence stuff. I'm like, you're not going to fucking like go to America and then get shot.

You might. But you kind of might. But you also might. But like you probably won't. You probably won't. Like it's more likely that you won't. Most people in America don't get shot. Yeah. You're not hearing about all the people that don't get shot every day. Why don't we put that in the news?

Yeah. Kids didn't get shot at school today. Why don't we put that in the news? Yeah. Kids didn't get shot at school today. Why don't we have more positive stories? Yes. A few feel good stories about who didn't get murdered today. We live in an economy of fear, you know? Yes. Politics. There is just that slight risk that like you take a slightly dicey, like lane change,

and then a guy justy like lane change. And then a guy just starts like firing, firing his gun at you. Cause he's got it like all the time. And he's like really wound up because everything sucks. I guess. What if they spent like a trillion dollars on like the monument to the un-murdered? To keep it up to date with every,

every living person's name. Yeah. Let's keep scratching them off. Well, they got a bunch this time. Think about how many people you could keep employed doing that, you know, real jobs creation kind of thing. Hey, if you were just driving along and you got caught in the crossfire between two truck drivers, that'd be a freak death. We talk about other freak deaths in the Ripping Report. I'm itching for another edition of the Ripping Report.

A 20-year-old in Anderson County, South Carolina died while clearing fallen trees after one of the trees sprang back up and he became trapped under the roots. Oh shit! What do you mean? So they like toppled a tree by like dragging it over and then it righted itself and he got caught between the roots of this big old tree and the hole that was left by the roots. That's like the Ents. Ent by the roots. I like the ants. Yeah, gotcha. Hey, we got evil dead.

It. Yeah. I was talking to someone recently about how like if you've ever, if you've ever like pulled up some tree stumps or like tried to dig out some tree stumps, that is just, this is the worst job. It's really hard. To do trees really want to be in the earth Yeah, you can see why people do that shit where they go

I'm gonna tie a chain onto my trucks bumper and try and pull it out and then it doesn't work at all But god, it's a fucking abysmal job because yeah, even when you've like I leave them out a lot They're still not out of there kind of live there. They kind of came from the earth Yeah, yes, and they want to stay there. They do they live there. They kind of came from the earth. Yeah. Yes. And they want to stay there. They do. They really do.

That's a fucked up way to die though. That's really nasty to think about. Yeah. Horrible. A 57 year old Colorado Springs man died at a quote track meet at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs after he was hit by an errant hammer toss weight. Oh no. Oh no. No! Not at the track meet! At the track meet. You gotta hope that one's pretty instant, right? Yeah. I got hammered at the track meet.

And all... I'm endowed. Are they pulling that shirt onto the fucking morgue table? To be clear, this isn't the segment where we're not allowed to make jokes. That is true. Yes. And we're comedians. We can't help it. We're always on. Are you against free speech? Are you trying to silence us?

There's been a bit of a discussion after this that the barriers that they put up were too low, the barriers that are meant to catch those. Yeah. I was going to say they should have some safety stuff in place. Yeah, just fucking, unfortunately, beamed him to death. So, no good. But people get like javelined all the time, right? Oh yeah.

Cause they kinda lay around there like measuring stuff. Compared to places where no one's throwing a javelin, I think. Compared to what? The bubonic plague? Compared to like horn balls. Yeah, I think. Compared to what? Compared to like, horn balls. Yeah, I guess. An 86 year old man in Allentown, Pennsylvania died after getting hit by a bus 23 years ago. Huh? He's a ghost?

Nah, this is a fun little riddle. Fun little riddle. Mmm. Mmm. He only just landed. I have no more details to furnish you with, but he died last week from a bus that hit him 23 years ago. From complications. At some point I don't feel like it's counting as complications of the bus.

I don't know. I don't, there was nothing in there that said like, Hey, this guy was in a coma for 23 years and he's just passed away. It was just like, Oh, he died because he got hit by a bus 23 years ago. It's just like in Mortal Kombat where the, like your opponents just air juggling you for the whole fucking round. You reckon he has been like slightly in front of it above the one bus for 23 years. Yeah.

I think he's been getting air juggled by this bus. I tried to find more details than being like, oh, he had like a brain bleed and then that caused an embolism or something. Like anything to be like, you know, but no, I don't know. It's finally caught up with him. Hey, if a guy was getting juggled by the one bus for 23 years, that would be kind of fantastical. We cover fantastical types of stories in tabloid phenomenon. Fist headed man destroys church Demon noise phenomenon This comes to us from Wales online. Aldi customer sickened after finding quote

Bumhole in stewed steak tin What? Cross filing this one with the last thing we wanted to happen. Why do they got to say stuff like that? I was going to say, why you got to say bumhole? Why do you have to say that? That's big grownups. Say anus. Yeah, for some reason.

Correct them. Butthole even. Yeah, bumhole. Even take butthole. Yeah. So I, it is definitely the crudest thing my children are allowed to say. Cause they have to describe the fuck, like if they've got a butthole problem going on, right?

Yeah. And they frequently do. You can let them say butthole, right? They can say butthole, but that's a child. But not bumhole. That's very, very fake taxi British guy. She's like, is she a bumhole? I'll give you 50 quid.

Exactly. Did I tell you guys about, um, about like, uh, trying to bully, trying to bully one of my kids into swearing. Oh, you got, your kids won't swear. Oh, one of them won't because she's a goddamn goody two shoes. You know, she thinks it's going to show up on a permanent record. Yeah. And I think we were having some people over for dinner. So me and Eleanor were both a few drinks in and we're like, you know, that swearing isn't like a legal right. And she's like, yeah, yeah yeah yeah you know I just don't want to

do it and we're like you can do it say just say the c-word go on do it she would do it you wouldn't do it whereas a younger daughter the other a while ago she stubbed her toe on something it was like and we went you got a free pass to say a swear! And like, A millisecond after the word was out of my mouth, She was like, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU have found what quote, look like a bumhole, end quote in her tin of stewed steak. I can solve this problem for you.

You probably wouldn't find as much of this if you weren't buying tins of stewed steak. Very British Aldi thing to purchase. the British Aldi thing to purchase. I've mentioned this before, but like in reading a lot of English, British tabloids, they are not doing well over there. I think the economy is struggling somewhat. Like all of the fucking articles are about how you can save easily 10p a day on your heating bills. Oh yeah, I keep seeing TikToks.

Man, it is like, they are fucking, it is dire. They're like children of menning over there at the moment. It's not, it's not good. Yeah, I just saw a poll the other day that, unless I was reading this very wrong, uh, that like Nigel Farage's reform party is now more popular than both Labour and the Conservatives. I hope not. So that's cool. No, that can't be right. They should smash his ankles.

Yes. Yeah, someone should smash his ankles. They should. He'd probably like it, this sick little fuck. You know? They should probably like it the sick little fuck, you know I'm just looking at a British Facebook post. That's like a rate a rate my plate Post and it's a with with stewed steak Because I wanted to see what it looked like and just beef stew. It's not as I feel like it's just like a tin soup Campbell's chunky soup style situation, right? Yeah.

That's kind of not though. Like Theo, you're arguing that if it's not cooked like a steak, it's not a steak. It's just a piece of beef. Yeah. I guess I don't, I don't really care. Okay. Though I've given up on this argument already. New easy out for a conversation on the podcast. I don't care. I don't care.

Fucking guess. Move on. Keep it going. Top comment on that post. This looks like it's already been eaten, then shat out again. You're an absolute animal. It really is no color in those potatoes, is there? No, it's it's no good for anyone. That is green and brown and white all on a plate.

Maggie Duncan said she spotted the inch long tube with a puckered end. Oh it gets worse, it gets worse. So it's not a bumhole, it is a rectum. Keeping in the fake taxi. If you got tube in there that's a rectum. She said she's a inch long tube with a puckered end. I think they're describing Venus. An inch long tube with a pocket end as she tipped the £2.09 pence tinned meal into a plastic container before heating it up on January the 8th. That is one of the meals they describe in the road. Yeah. While you're like counting the number of bullets you've got and you realize you don't have

enough bullets to kill the raiders that are coming but you do have enough bullets to kill yourself. Which is what they do before breakfast every morning. Counting the bullets and going, fuck, I've got enough to kill the raiders. God damn. Guess I've got to eat my plate of warm buttholes. Eat my tin of anus. What's the problem? Like what do you think you're eating?

What do you fucking expect? Yeah. There's a solution to this, right? Which is buy like hot dogs. Cause you're getting plenty of anus. And you know that it's always smooth. You're getting plenty of anus, but you're not having the book at it. They creamed the anus for you. Take the edge off, you know. I put it to you that if you're buying like two pounds like tins of meat Things of that nature like I feel like you've kind of already reconciled that you're gonna be eating some anus Don't look at it. It's the porcelain man. Yeah

Close your eyes the issue is not the issue is not that you're eating anus. The issue is that you recognized it Yeah, you know, it's like a you recognised it. Yeah. You know? It's like a chicken nugget. It's not all like chicken breast in there. Pre-creamed anus. Hey, cream your anus, governor! But as the 62-year-old emptied the Aldi-owned brand Bramwell's meal and forked through the meat, she was quote, sickened by the object that her equally horrified husband said looked

like a chicken's anus. Why do you know what animal it came from in this thing of steak? It's definitely a chicken's anus. You think there's a chicken's anus. I know what a chicken's anus looks like. They're trying to do like a taxonomy of anuses in a beef product. Why's your husband... Beef anus. Chicken's got a cloaca anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking stupid. God. Your equally horrified husband is dumb. He wouldn't know an asshole from a cloaca.

Maggie from Carlouk, South Lanarkshire said, quote, I've never seen anything like Isi Mar food before. I just couldn't believe it. I was actually feeling sick. Even just looking at it. The fact that someone could have made, say, a pie with that and ended up with that in their mouth, for me it just doesn't look fit for a human consumption. What do you think is in a pie, lady?

Who thinks in anything? What do you think? Yeah. My tin of meat sweepings. No. Miscellaneous course parts. There were some interesting comments online saying it looked like a bumhole. And to be honest, that's exactly what it looks like. My husband said it looks like a chicken's anus. Yeah, we've already established a fucking stupid husband.

Being established, your husband's fucking stupid or has seen a lot of chicken's anus. Yeah, we've already established a fucking stupid your husband is. Being established your husband's fucking stupid or... Moron. ...has seen a lot of chicken's anuses. Yeah. Check his browser history. Yeah. Why don't you check your husband's browser? Oh, he's been out there collecting the eggs a long time. No. Nah, let's just draw the line there. No. No, let's just draw the line there.

The horrified mum of two said she bought the stewed steak with a best before end date of 2026. Objection irrelevant. I don't think it's like if it was an old can, it would have congealed back into a butthole. Does not devolve into butthole. I think the argument is that it's fresh arsehole and you shouldn't complain. Yeah. Still toy. Yeah, what's wrong with that arsehole? That's good to eat.

She bought the stewed steak from the Karluk brand of Aldi at the end of November. She said it was, quote, Aldi at the end of November. She said it was quote, not fit for him in consumption. Like from the previous quote and refused to even serve it to her two dogs. One year old cock-a-poos, Shadow and Barney. Your dogs don't fucking care. They'll eat their own shit. They don't fucking care.

What do you think's in dog food? Give an anus to your cock-a-poo. Give an anus to your cock-a-poo. Give an anus to your cock-a-poo. If they're hungry, you're hungry. Share an anus. You done with that anus? Maggie said, previously, my husband has eaten it and the dogs have had the leftovers and they loved it.

Yeah. And they love this one. Yeah. I love this anus so much. Just give it to the dog. Your cockaboos would cherish this anus. You know what any reasonable person living through a crisis would have done? Pick that anus out and gone on with their fucking meal.

Yeah. Flick it out. Yeah. Chuck it to shadow. And Barney's going to look at you like Barney's going to make eyes like he usually does. Like no anus for Barney. You know? Yeah.

But look, there's only one anus. What's Barney? Chopped liver? Yeah. Whoever gets it. Oh, I'd prefer some chopped liver. It costs two pound, it costs two pound nine. Take your sensitive ass back to the Tesco's, you know?

Yes.09. Take your sensitive ass back to the Tesco's, you know? Yes. Yeah. I opened it, transferred it into a plastic dish, I forked through it, and this disgusting piece of waffle was there. It was midway down the tin and was an inch long and wide. Oh, a chode anus? Oh, it's circular. So yeah. You got a chonus? A chode anus? Oh, it's circular! So yeah!

A chode anus? You got a chones in there? That's good luck! I mean, if your anus is longer than it is wide... Alright, I think the following sentence is the most perplexed I've been by aligning this so far. I didn't feed the dogs the rest

of the tin stew steak! Even they didn't get it! It's the dogs the rest of the tin stew steak even they didn't get it. It's still in the tub in the fridge. Why'd you put it back in the fridge? I'm storing the anus. I'm storing the anus. Maybe for binda. You are about to get an answer as to why she did this. I know but still I would have gone on with my life. I'm gonna take it in the shop when I go home and see what they've got to say What the fuck they didn't put it in there front desk like the customer service people at Aldi Gotta do going in there with a little bit of flesh. Yeah, what?

Anus does this look like to you? They're gonna go. Oh bloody hell Do you want another one or do you want your two-pound nine P back as a store credit? They're not gonna identify the anus for you one or do you want your two pound nine P back as a store credit? They're not going to identify the anus for you. I'm not going to do forensic science on the anus that you found. I've got it. All right. I've, I've looked up a picture of the anus.

It's not good. I don't know if it's a, I don't know if that's what that is. It could just be a little like an inch of intestine, right? It's wide. How far back do you have to go before it's no longer anus and it's become an intestine? Also, also- That's definitely not a chicken's anus, I'll say that much. It's a stupid thing to say. I'm just going to throw something out here.

Check her browser history. Cows, cows are large animals and they have large organs. All right. Googling cow anus. Someone show me the, yeah, look, it looks like a fucking Spaghetti-O, who cares? It looks like a Spaghetti-O. It's giving Spaghetti-O to me.

I've not looked at a lot of animals' anuses though, so I could be mistaken on this one. I think she's just... Good bit of possible to die ability to give herself there. Well, I don't know, I've never seen any. I'm no expert at cow's assholes or anything. I don't have any books about it.

I don't have a flake. My doctorate was in the something else. I certainly haven't commissioned a series of photos. Oh, tasteful butthole photos? I'd like to know what it is, how it got in there, and how that could be passed for human consumption. I never liked it and my husband won't be eating it again. Some kind of butthole. Yep. It went in there with the rest of the horse. Yep. Yep. Yeah. And that's what it is that you eat. Yes. You bought a tin of mashed animal. Okay. Mashed horse. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what it is that you eat. Yes. You bought a tin of mashed animal. Okay.

Mashed horse. Creamed horse. Yep. Someone cream the horse for you. Browned creamed horse. Pick it out. You know, it's like when you're eating a sausage and there's a bit of gristle in it and you go, yeah, you got the edge of something. You know, this came from an animal. You got a bit of knuckle., you got the edge of something, you know? This came from an animal. You got a bit of knuckle. You got like the edge of, you know, like sometimes you get a little, little shout of bone or whatever.

And what you do is you just go up. I don't want that in my mouth. I'll take it out, flick it away. You can have that one, Barney. Here's something that the beauty standards of Hollywood don't want to tell you. That's right. Real animals have buttholes. That's right. Real animals have buttholes. That's right.

Preach it. It's not weird. It's not weird. We all have a butthole. Have one or more. Yes. A spokesperson for Aldi said, although very rare, this gristle-like material can occasionally occur with meat products.

We apologize to Ms. Duncan and would ask her to return the product to her local store so we can investigate fully. Don't say sorry. Yeah, don't apologize. You knew what you were buying. Say, it doesn't come pre-creamed. Lady, we didn't cream this. We didn't cream. If you want pre-creamed, go back to Oscar Meyer, you know? Yes. Go to Iceland. Read the tin. Says this steak stew has been mechanically debutholed and some remnants of butthole may remain. If you're not willing to deal with the fact that the meat you're eating came from a living animal, it's time for you to go vegetarian, possibly vegan.

Do you think? you to go vegetarian, possibly vegan. Do you think in these scenarios that what people want is, is like to, like, I'm assuming that someone just doesn't want their two pound nine refund that they want the store to say, Oh, we're so sorry. You can do supermarket sweep, you know, or, or yeah, we'll give you, we'll give you like a 200 pound store credit. So you shut, or, or yeah, we'll give you, we'll give you like a 200 pound store credit. So you shut the fuck up or whatever.

Or is this like the, is this like, did Andy Warhol picture that some of the people's 15 minutes would be having the photo taken with what they're claiming to be an animal's asshole from picture? You picture your cock a poos picture of the cows. Yeah, I'm calling the news. Imagine if like, in like 30 million years in the future, there's like a space fairing alien species and like they sort of try and reconstitute the earth from, uh, surviving like from the radio signals that they've received, broadcast signals and

stuff but from surviving hard drives. And from Wales Online? And from Wales Online, they find the archives and they reconstruct every facet of the earth they can that was captured by media in some fashion and you're brought back into this perfect recreation of the earth by what they have available. And all they have is you, the cockapoos of the anus. Yeah, you and your husband looking grumpy. You're holding this little thing and going, I don't want my dogs to eat it!

And due to some incredible mistake in their understanding of us, all five of these things are said to you. You and your husband, the cockaboos. The anus. Now there's a sitcom idea. You know, sometimes Ben, you crack something open and there's something unexpected inside. This can also happen when Juan cracks open an egg. We found out what's inside eggs in the segment Big Egg.

What's big and small at the same time? Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, Big Egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, This comes to us from WHTM in Pennsylvania. 100,000 eggs stolen from Pennsylvania distributors truck police say. That's so many eggs. That's a lot of eggs. So they've got a, like a price of egg crisis going on over there? We've got an egg crisis. We've all got egg crisis, right? We've got egg crisis.

Because of the bird flu. Because of bird flu, yeah. Oh, shit. Okay. You guys aren't out of eggs? We've got no eggs. Yeah, occasionally I'll go to the shopping center and I'll be like, well, there's no fucking eggs.

What's going on? You notice this? You guys heard about this? I go down to my local IGA and there is no shortage of eggs from a local farm, but unfortunately the brand name is Bum Nuts. And I don't. Nah. And that is like a chicken on, on the packaging. It's like brandishing its assholehole Can we just be serious? Everything have to be a fucking joke. I'd like a little jest all the time. Can I just eat my eggs? You know, yeah, do I have to think about the arsehole the cloaca that they were excreted by?

Yeah, they should be called cloaca nuts if anything I'd rather they didn't I just wish they'd put eggs I wish they would I wish they would do the the packaging from the movie repo man Yes, is a cloaca not between the bum cheeks of it over Chicken, I don't think a chicken has a bum you own owned chickens doesn't really have a Rear chickens there chickens just die sometimes Owned chickens doesn't really have a but it is real Chickens just die sometimes that's so true. One of them went to live on a farm. I don't want to live on a farm One of them just fell over and slowly died. Yeah, that happened to a bunch of ours, too You're totally right chickens do be dying. Yeah fragile little motherfuckers. Well, a lot of them are also just getting like

Put down like hundreds of thousands of them at a time because like, Hey, there's bird flu here. We're going to kill 500,000 chickens today. I don't think Theo just put his chickens out for no reason. Like for fun. No, no, chickens do die a lot. And right now they're dying more than more than usual. It's, it's pretty grim.

I want it like, there's some people out there whose job is just to be like, well, killing 600,000 chickens today. And then they come home, they take off their overalls, have a shower, come out and they go, what's for dinner? Yeah. It's not eggs. It killed 600,000 creatures. They're kind of like shaking out their arm because it's very tired.

Yeah. Swing the hammer. Yeah. Of course these days they just kill them with a stun gun. Pride that comes out. No pride in their work. Pennsylvania State Police are searching for suspects after 100,000 eggs were allegedly stolen from an egg distributor in Franklin County.

According to police, officers responded to Pete and Jerry's organics in Antrim Township for a reported theft of 100,000 eggs. The eggs were stolen from the back of a distribution trailer on February 1st at 8.40pm. I reckon it was an inside job and it was either Pete or Jerry. Yeah. Maybe both. That's early. That's early in the night to be stealing a hundred thousand eggs.

Imagine how betrayed Jerry would feel to find out that it was actually Pete. Theo, I'm so glad you asked. Police said the stolen eggs hold a retail value of $40,000. God damn. Oh, that's good. Where are you going to sell them? They're going to sell them to the market. You're not going to get retail value for them.

You're not going to set up by the side of the road Selling eggs. Why not? Big sign that says eggs on it. A little sign says local Eggs, I'm gonna cut to your dealer local farm fresh eggs $60 a dozen I was talking to my beautiful wife Elna about this the other day about how Noted dipshit Jeremy Clarkson How he like bought a farm in England and was like I'm a farmer now I made a TV show out of it Yep

and So and all of a sudden he was very concerned with like what farmers are getting paid for their work because he has been growing wheat and he's like I've been growing all this wheat and we sell it for like 20 P a kilo or whatever. And then I go into the store and a loaf of bread is like one pound 50. What the fuck? It should be selling bread. Yeah.

And, uh, and lots of people are going because like a Miller turns the wheat in the flour and then a Baker turns the flour and a bread and the store employs people. Like there's all this stuff happening in between. You fucking moron. Shouldn't cost that much. It should cost way more if everyone in the chain was getting paid fairly. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

And, um, and Elna who grew up on a dairy farm, was talking about the ridiculous amount of work it was to milk all of their cows and everything. And then she saw some documentation one day that was like, oh, we're getting paid five cents a liter for this milk. And you go, ah. And that was ages ago. So it's probably worse now, you know, thanks to- We might've fucked society up in some ways.

Might have. Yeah. Sort of the, the best in history. But do you know what is fun to do? Is to shoplift from the Woolworths and Coles corporations. True. Do you op-a-lee if you will? Yeah.

Yeah. I am, I am actually making a very concerted effort to not buy anything from all worth their calls because I hate them motherfuckers. Everything about the experience. You can always just make sure you steal something every time. Yeah. It's okay. And then it doesn't really matter because they're still way, way better off, but it

just feels good. It's just something like a little treat. And then we're going to sort of price gouge anyway. They'll be like, Oh no, all this stuff means you have to raise the price. It's like, well, they're already super inflated and you're going to do that because that's sort of what you're there to do. So fuck you. I like how now- These forever shares are mine now.

I like how now when you go into a Woolworths, it's not like going to a grocery store anymore. It's like you've accidentally interrupted like an Amazon warehouse. Cause all the aisles are just full of people picking stuff for deliveries. And you've got to be like, excuse me. I just, there's something I want to get off my chest, but before I say it, I just want to say like, before you hear the words that I'm about to say, I want you to apply every conceivable caveat that would make me like, that would stop me from coming off as like a bad person. Okay.

So just like, but think, think of what my words are. And if you can think of a way that it's like really like bigoted or unfair or privileged or whatever, go, oh, he didn't mean that one. Okay. So just like make sure that when you interpret the words, there's absolutely, I'm not talking down to oppressed people or people that have difficulties or whatever. Okay. So just keep that in mind.

Guys, what slur do you think he's going to use? If you order your groceries online, fuck you. You lazy fuck. Wow. Unless you have like circumstances or circumstances wow if you've got circumstances good on you I'm so glad you can do that but if the circumstances like I can't be fucked fuck you fuck you fuck you you piece of shit go for a fucking walk and get your groceries dick unless you got like you're gonna get

destroyed unless you're on a spectrum and you don't really like being in the supermarket. It makes you feel- Yeah, it's very noisy in there. There's a lot of stimulus. Very bright in there. And you can't make it there at the sensory hour that they have once a week for 10 minutes. Yeah, at 9.30 in the morning. It's like 20 minutes on a Tuesday morning.

Yeah. Okay, so maybe you got- But if you don't have circumstances, you have no- Like you're like a context-free person Fuck you. Yeah. I hate you. I'm sick of your shit Where were we as of Tuesday afternoon as of Tuesday afternoon police continued to investigate but had not announced any possible suspects I think this is a bottle thing still It's been a long day any possible suspects. I think it was the egg man. Is this the butthole thing still? No, it's the eggs. The eggs. We're in big egg.

We're in big egg. It's been a long day. Free me a screamer. What are they suspecting about buttholes? They'll be better ones. Last week we came out of the gate so hot with a Wednesday afternoon energy that was incredible. Yeah, we did, huh?

And that one's not free. So just sort of like, if you want that. What a great incentive to sign up for the show. Yeah. Sometimes Wednesday's fine. The alleged heist comes as bird flu outbreaks across the country are causing farmers to slaughter millions of chickens, tightening supplies and driving prices higher. The spike in cost is driving supermarkets and restaurants alike to pass costs onto consumers.

Yeah. Bird flu? They sure did. I'm at home with my own chickens, making omelets and laughing. Laughing all the way to the bank. On Tuesday, Waffle House announced that its restaurants will be adding a 50 cent surcharge to every egg ordered to help offset the dramatic increase in egg prices. Wow. That's a lot. The average price for grade A large eggs in US cities, $4.15 as of December 2024, is roughly twice what it was at this time in February

2022, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Hold on a second. Hold on a fucking second. The average price of grade A large eggs, are they talking like per egg or are they talking like a dozen eggs maybe six eggs it does gotta be a dozen gotta be they're paying four dollars for a dozen eggs shut the fuck up that's cheaper than our eggs yeah that's not the retail price yeah maybe I don't know this is like when Americans complain about gas prices and they say oh it's like two dollars a gallon and then you find out how much a gallon is. After hours of research, you find out what a gallon is. Like montage of me into the night at the library, drinking a lot of coffee.

Well not yet at the January 2023 high of $4.82, the price may continue to climb with Easter, a time of high demand for eggs approaching. Is that it? All right, they do their little- That is a chocolate though. They colour their eggs in and do- Yeah, we're talking about the things where they blow the- They're doing crazy shit over there.

They blow their eggs. Oh, they're wasting them? They're blowing eggs. They're wasting eggs. In a crisis? These fuckers are blowing eggs. You can't be blowing eggs in an egg crisis. No, not when the grade A large egg in US cities average price is four bucks 15.

That's what I'm saying. You can't be blowing eggs. That's what I'm saying. Leave your eggs unblown for a while. Follow the Australian example and get your Easter eggs made out of the lowest quality chocolate available on the planet. Yeah.

Just make it like dog shit. Yeah. Just absolute trash. Oh, like your regular chocolate that tastes kind of like vomit. So you'll kind of like it. That'll be fine. They'll be very familiar. How can you put the thing in that makes it taste like vomit?

Yeah. Why do you do that? Why did you? What was your plan there? I think it's cause they think that's normal now. Yeah. I think a lot of what they do is because of one or two reasons. The stuff they think is normal? One is because they think it's normal and the second one is because there are a lot of forces at play.

Yeah, it's mostly the forces I think. But then somebody's just because they're kind of freaky. They're like really freaked up kind of people. Yeah, they're just kind of people. Yeah. They like it nasty. Yeah. Americans like it nasty. I'm just driving my, driving my tractor trailer down the I-90 twirl and my

pistol around on my index finger, you know? Yeah. And it feels normal to me. Hey, this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Buntavista. This is in your free feed, freebo. I'm only speaking to the freebo's right now, because we're doing a free meeting in freeboree. That means we're making all of our paid episodes free just for this, the shortest month of

the year. If you like this, maybe consider signing up. It's two episodes a week and generally they're both as good as each other. That's true Yeah, sometimes they're better than each other Sometimes each is better than the other and if you think to yourself Wow, this seems like an act of remarkable generosity Maybe there's some way that you could pay it forward, you know, maybe there's some way

Hey backwards first before you pay it forward. Maybe you could pay it backwards. I know what happens at the end of pay it forwards. I think you should start with paying it back. And then you could pay it forwards on your own time. Maybe, maybe we will inspire you to some kind of reciprocal act of generosity. You know? Yes. And you might act of generosity, you know? Yes.

And you might think to yourself, you know what? God damn, this shit's so good, I got to have it all year round. We're back to horny. We've looked all the way back around the horny. Because you're nasty and freaky with it. I love it. I'm a little freaked out, but frankly, I'm loving it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the

comedy current events podcast. Buntavista, thank you for coming on this journey with us. If there's anything you heard that raises some questions or comments for you, introduce it to a, introduce the podcast to a friend first, get them to listen to it, then you to talk it out. If you got anything left after that hit us up mailbag at buddha vista.com yeah if you if you talk to a friend and you decide that you both don't like the show um both sign up to the patreon and then get on the discord and talk to the people on the discord about whether or not you're wrong for not liking the show that'll go really well it's a really lovely open environment. People love it when you do that.

When you hop on there, it's like white blood cells attacking you but in pain. We love our beautiful white blood cells. We love our beautiful white blood cells protecting us. We will see you on the free episode. Stay safe out there. Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye. see you on the free episode. Stay safe out there. Bye! Bye bye! The The Mask is Road Traveller and Roundabout Savior. Thanks for watching!