Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS: The Boney Island Whitefish in: The Last Blockbuster On The Left (Feat. Will Menaker)

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

Here's an unlocked episode of the Patreon-exclusive series 'The Boney Island Whitefish', in which Boonta Vista's Andrew and Trashfuture's Riley recap season 5 of the extremely ridiculous Bones. To get the whole series, subscribe at https://www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Chapo Trap House's Will Menaker joins Andrew and Riley for an all-showrunner display of podcasting fundamentals. This week the brave technicians at the Jeffersonian-Medico Institute for Sexual Harassment are forced to investigate the cause of death of a very mysterious and influential historical figure! Deep respect for the boots of the American empire is sure to follow. We also spring a gotcha Breakfast Update on Will and plan our future endeavours running a Airbnb Blockbuster so that we can lecture teens about Michael Mann films. Enjoy!

Easy Cool Connect to them. Easy Cool Connect to them. Dry bones, Ezeekal connect to them. Welcome back to Burnilan Whitefish. I'm Andrew. As always, I'm here with Riley. Hello. I think for the second time ever I have waited to be introduced and not stepped all over you. Immediately started talking before I could finish saying the two syllables of Riley. And normally, Riley is recording early in the morning, and I'm recording in the afternoon

for our Australia-London time difference. But todayay I'm going early in the morning and Riley is going in the evening because we needed to triangulate our positions around the globe so that we could line up our wonderful special guest. It's Will Menaka from Charpo Trapphouse. Boys great to be here. All points, all of the important points on the map of this planet are being covered right now to talk about bones.

It's right. Jason Bourne style surveillance footage, satellites linking up. Oh my God, it's Emily De Chanel. Also, I noted this in pre-show chat, but I'd like to note this in the show as well. This is officially a showrunner excellence podcast. The Boney Island Whitefish is the official podcast of showrunners. It's the point, it's like playing, it's like three on three with all point guards.

That's what this episode is like. Where the player coaches of our three mighty empires. It's like dueling banjos. Well, you know, there'll be the official the official the official the official the the official the the official the be the the official the the official the official the the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is the official is the official is the official is the official is the official is the official is th. It's is the official is the official. It's is the official. It's is the official. It's is the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's the official. It's like it's like dueling banjos but with detailed notes. Well, you know, there'll be no cross talk, there'll be no fat on this one. Just good information and like a steady smooth pace to everything. That's right. Now, something that has wound up happening as we did this show is that as we go along, we need to give an important bit of news each time, which is,

of course, breakfast update. So Riley, what happened for breakfast today? Well, today, it's, it happened about 12 hours ago, so I'm reaching back into Hall of Antiquity. This is very unusual for me. I usually give like a, I'm usually eating breakfast furtively while this happens, trying not to have my horrible chewing sound in the microphone, and then talking about which of my preferred mugs I'm using. But because that's good podcast, and that's what people pay to hear. No, I had a three egg omelette with little bit of sourdough toast. I was keeping it very normal.

I was also having coffee in one of the mid-tier mugs. Andrew, I'm more interested in what you're having. And of course, what our special guest has had at some point, I believe is midday for him. I had a nice sunny side up fried egg, a bit of buttered toast, and a Kransky, a nice cheese Kransky from the local butcher, which I split and grilled or broiled for the American perspective. When telling somebody this, I realized that Australia is the only country in the world that refers to this sausage as the Kransky.

And everybody said, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, apparently, it is known as the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cheese. Chancea. Chranni. Chancea. Chransky. Chransky. Ch, cheese. Ch, cheese is ch. Ch, the cheese is chisea, the cheese cheese is ch. Ch, the cheese cheese is ch. Ch, the cheese is ch. Ch, the cheese is ch. Ch, the cheese is is is is is is is is the cheese is is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Cheese-ch, cheese is the th. Cheese-cheseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseeseese cheese is charni. Cheese-canseasease-cansk, the the the world that refers to this sausage as the Kransky. And everybody said, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, apparently, it is known as the Carniolan sausage, which in Germany is known as the Kreiner worst. South Africans call it Russian. Thank you, South Africans. But it is a Slovenian sausage most similar to what is known as a kilobasa or Polish sausage in North America. Oh, it's very good. And then we just had to fuck it up and call it our own thing.

I think that's what you guys usually do. Very tasty. Shout out to the elite meats, butcher down by my house. And the guy who works there who will not shut the fuck up and let me get out of the store. Irish butcher who just... This is what actually happens, right? I went down there to get some pork because I was making some sausages. I decided to get my kitchen aid sausage stuffer attachment out and grinder and everything and have another go at it.

And I went down there and said, I would like some pork to make some sausages. And he said, do you know what you th you what you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th the the th th th the the th th th th the th. the thu the guy thu the guy the guy thu. thus and the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. th. And the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And thus. And the. And the. And the. And at it. And I went down there and said, I would like some pork to make some sausages. And he said, do you know what you're doing? Because he's Irish. And I said, yes. And he went, what fat content would you like? I said, about 25%. He said, here's what you're going to want to do. You're going to want to get yourself a book and start writing down, to, and to, and he was beginning the process, which I was already aware of, with you need to write your own recipe book.

And it went from there, and it just goes for like 20 minutes until you get the product and just start inching towards the door. Yeah, so eventually he will let you leave. So now we know what an Australian version of Seinfeld is, which, you know, I had not clocked yet. I mean, I would just like to express my general frustration as well with any time anyone in the service industry or anyone had to buy anything from looks me in the eye or attempts to talk to me. Or does anything other than fulfill the task I'm demanding of them forthrightly. Oh look, I think Australia generally, we have a very good, good friendly customer service relationship.

Everybody's kind of on the same level, but I think you've got to be able to read the cues of, this has been going for so long. It's been going for so long. I explained to him before we started what I was planning to do with the thing. And then he repeated the whole process of sausage making back to me. Will, what did you have for breakfast today? Well, first of all, I mean, I don't mean to cut against the show-runner's theme here, but I was not prep whatsoever.

That they would be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be their to be to be their to be to be their to be to be their to be to be to be their their to be the showrunners theme here, but I was not prepped whatsoever that they would be talking breakfast on the show. And you know, were I to have been informed of this, I would have let you know that like I would not be doing this podcast. I do not talk about breakfast. Because, you know, I'm very bad at eating breakfast, you know, I'm very, I'm very bad. I'm very bad no breakfast ever. I've got a light stomach in the mornings. And I just, I drink like a big mason jar of like cold brew coffee in the summertime. And then I wait till about three or four o'clock until I'm like bleeding from my eyes and just incredibly

angry and mean to everyone around me. And then I'll like, you know, have something very unhealthy. Today it was cold scallion pancakes from the Chinese food I ordered last night. Oh, nice. Very fucking depressing. I did not want to like give over this part of myself publicly, but I suppose I'm trapped now. See, that's the thing, the Boney Island Whitefish is actually has a lot more in common with, Axios, because an Australian will ask you a gotcha question like what you have for breakfast.

Yeah, I've been rumbled. That's it. It's all over. Hope you're happy. I used to be a no breakfast guy because I used to spend every night getting extremely high and binge eating until like 2 a.m. or 3 a. Oh yeah, that's my problem. Fuck. I was wondering what it was. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's the thing you wake you wake up with just Very thoroughly laden intestines and your body goes no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good for however long. I got a sleeve of Oreos at three in the morning Yeah, fuck get out of here. I'm not gonna have a grapefruit now. Who are you? That's what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thorou. thorou. th. thorou th. thor th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thor thorou thor thorou thorou thorough thorough thorough thorough thorou' thorou' thorou' thorou' thorou' thorou' thorou' thorou' thoroughly thoroughly thorough You got plenty of calories sitting there ready to go. I got little kids now, so they're getting me up at whatever time. Yeah, it used to be. How the fuck do you expect to be eat breakfast? There was a marathon of super jail on last night. That's right. Or as I was telling somebody recently on Plex, they have just put a whole bunch of free live streaming TV channels and they're all like American style terrible cable channels, which is wonderful to me. Last weekend I ate a bunch of edibles and then watched like the game show channel for however long.

Haunted myself with a game show called Cram. Okay, so wait. Hold on. Because that sounds like the kind of thing that would have been like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they, they, they, they, their their their their their their their th.. And tea. And, tea.a.a.a.a. And, tea. And, tea.a. Okay, so wait, hold on. That, because that sounds like the kind of thing that would have been like a British game show in the 1980s or 90s, where like you have to confess to a, you have to confess to a minor crime and get an Asbo, but you also could win a boat. What happens on Cram? Cram is, well, much like we'll get into with bones. Cram is like a CIA black site torture thing done as a game show. So basically they they get teams of contestants and they have to cram, they have to study a whole bunch of things so they'll

they'll give them categories like you know famous couples from sitcoms or you know they'll have to study a whole bunch of things, so they'll give them categories like, you know, famous couples from sitcoms, or, you know, they'll have to memorize facts from like a passage from somebody's autobiography or something like that. They then quiz them on these things, in high-stress scenarios like flinging cards through pieces of tissue paper six feet away kind of thing and I'm like how can these people why did why do both these people know how to throw cards it turns out that the card throwing is also something that they make them learn to do in the lead up to the show and they make them learn to do it in the prior 24 hours when they don't let them sleep sleep Is Ricky Jay a consultant on the show?

So you have to stay up for 24 hours, learn a whole bunch of stuff, including facts and new skills, and then be quizzed about it all in a high stress environment while trying to stay awake. And then for the very final round, they put you into a big, comfy, soft bed with a sleep mask on, and a lady sits next to you and softly reads facts from a book in a very gentle voice. And they do this for several minutes while you try not to fall asleep. And then they blast an air raid siren and you have to jump up and answer questions. So wait, you're saying this is basically who wants to be a millionaire, but if you had it

run by John Yu instead of Regis Philbin? Yes. Pretty much. Sounds great. Well, cool. Yeah, I mean, it is my nightly intake of a high test cannabis that keeps me going. But also, Andrew, it's a, it's gaining access to your Plex server. I mean, this is what's th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. test cannabis that, you know, keeps me going, but also Android, it's gaining access to your Plex server. I mean, this is what I do with my evenings until like, you know, three, four in the morning, is watching the wonderful resource that you have curated of some of some of the great,

it's like, browsing your Plex server is like, it recreates the experience of like going to a video store and like sort of just aimlessly so so so so so so so so so some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some the the the the the es the experience of like going to a video store and like sort of just aimlessly browsing the aisles and like looking at all the box art and then and then you know going home with something that you're not very happy with but you know that's right. No, that's great. It's great. As many things as you can carry that you're not really sure about, but as long as long as you haven't seen them before. That th. th. th. th. That the th. That's the th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi. I's, theeeeeeeea. I's, thea. I's, thea. I's, thea. I's, throwneea. I's, thrownea. I's thi. That was my video store experience growing up, was our local, we didn't have Blockbuster for a long time. The local one for me was, there was a Video Easy, which I think might have been a Canber franchise, and the Video 2000, which is very futuristic sounding. And they had the deals where you could get like, you know, five or eight weekly rentals for like 10 bucks. So, so for me, I would rent so, the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block block the block the the block block the block block block block block the block block block block block the the local block block block block block block block block block block their block block their block block their block their block their block their block, their block, their their block, their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their their their the deals where you could get like, you know, five or eight weekly rentals for like ten bucks.

So for me, I would rent so many videotapes that it became the challenge of, I'm just trying to find stuff in this store that I haven't seen. Right before I came on here, I did see a news item from here in America that our country's our last blockbuster in existence, I think is in a that the our country are the last blockbuster in existence I think is in a town called like Bend, Oregon or whatever and it is about to be converted into an Airbnb property. So I was, I don't know, I just had the idea like I would love to rent that the blockbuster Airbnb property, but I would, but only if it like still looked like a blockbuster and had the sign and I'd like to stay there for a week

and try to run it as a video store, like a sort of a Nathan for you style social experiment where I just, you know, I want to talk to people about movies, but like live there, and just like stock it with them, I'll bring my own, I, I, I, I like, you know, all the old DVDs I used to burn back when Netflix had like sent you DVDs and stuff like that and I'll just sort of like curated like my own library and run it as like this small Oregon Towns

video store. I think I think they should run it as an Airbnb, but they don't convert anything about it. They don't put a bed in or anything like that. But staying there is basically the same as like doing a late night shift working at a video store. You can just sit behind the counter and watch some of the movies on the CRT monitors that are like up on the roof. Well it's the natural extension of the like a recreational

basket weaving or pasta making class whatever right where you do an antiquated job but you pay to do it for fun to learn a new skill where it's now it's yeah Airbnb is just offering the blockbuster version of that where you can just like talk down to local tweens as they try to rent an action film and you sort so suggest that they might they might be interested to rent an action film and you sort of suggest that they might be interested in something more like, you know, interesting or French or, you know, Paul Verhoeven or whatever. I would very much be interested in that.

Some local teens come in, they're like, ah, you have end game and I'll just be like, no. What do you think this is? Airbnb is actually offering the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity the opportunity to be a the opportunity to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a the opportunity. to be a to be a to be a to be a actually offering the opportunity for people to be a snide video store clerk and some like an experience. Awesome. Like you said Riley it would be like a it would be like going out and learning how to do wine tasting and recognize the different notes and make recommendations and everything. It's that except somebody coaches you on how to listen to somebody who's coming and find just the right movie for them. And then maybe like in the, because you know, one feature that blockbuster video never did

have as opposed to the, you know, the more fabled mom and pop video stories is like a little separated by a curtain closet area with the pornography in, you know. So like I can just run it. I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, the the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thiou thiou. thiou. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their thi. I' thi. I' thi. thi. thi. thi. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the little separated by a curtain closet area with the pornography in, you know, so like I can just run it, I'll just, I'll just have my laptop in there and it's just like, you know, if you're over 18, just go click around on my desktop, you'll find it. We are, we never had the porn section in video stores here, but I wonder if that's because we, we just have, in the city I grew up in, in the city I grew up in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in the city, in the city, in the city, in the city, the city I still live in, Canberra, where all of the clowns go to Congress, was also one of the places where it was just like legal to buy porn. So in an industrial area of town, there's also all of these massive blockbuster-sized porn stores. So you could go in and browse the many thousands of

videotapes of porn. You didn't have to have to go into the little the little back room of the blockbuster. You could just go to the to the big pornbuster. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to become like yeah like I'd like to become like one of those snotty video store guy clerks or whatever, but only for pornography. So like, you know, some like horny teenage boy will come in and be like, oh, do you have anything with Jenna Jameson? And I'm like, yeah, if you've never fucking seen the porn before, man. Are you going to be like, come on this is the green door, it'll change your life? Yeah, exactly. This is back when they shotter it on film the porn. the porn. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. your life. Yeah, exactly. This is back when they shot it on film and then the people doing it, the people doing it were like, you know, non-consensual.

What are you afraid of a little body hair? Yeah. A little pussy. Referring to uh implants is bad special effects. I'd be like I could technically get arrested for letting you rent this Tracy Lord's VHS, but you know, it'll change your life. Are we suggesting like a garden state but instead of the shins it's porn? Yes, yes. See, we don't need, we don't need the Felix's and the Milo's and the Benz. Nope. You don't need those guys. Get those ballhogs out of here.

Oh, the flashy hip-hop style slam dunks. Yeah. Oh boy, well, look, as fun as it is to contemplate the idea of running an Airbnb all porn blockbuster in Band Oregon. Why are we still doing this podcast? I think we've got a killer business idea here. All you have to do is rent it from Airbnb forever. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you're getting more into the, uh, the We Work style. What if I'd pay to rent this place and I never make any money from it,. A the business. A the business. A the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Uh th. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, toe, to, toe, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, toe, toe.a.a.0.0. toe. toe.0.0. B. B. B.the we work style what if I pay to rent this place and I never make any money from it form of business so it's an experience and we know that that works someone will give you money to do that so I mean if you can get investors in like TF is we are a little peak behind I'm gonna part of the kimono just tiny bit you can you can get a pe behind the curtain because the thu. th the th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of the of the of the of the of the. the. the of the the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of of the of the of the of te of teeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. tea.e.e.e.e.I.e.I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I. te. te. te. the. the behind the curtain. We do have an office in London just because London sucks and like no one has any space to do anything and everyone lives like an hour apart. Just by definition, no one lives near anything and everything is tiny and sucks. It's a fucking awful place.

Living the dream. Yeah, living a strange fever dream. But, so we have an office. But because commercial real estate has just crashed as a category, we were thinking it would be very funny. Like, we're now looking at getting an office in one of these like strange architectural monuments to finance capital that are in the city. But, like, just like, trash future now is based in the Gherkin. Which I'm very, or like, these, these, these, these, these, these, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.e.e.e.e.com.com, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, trash user now is based in the Gherkin. Which I'm very, or like, these just very weird sort of sculptural buildings that are made out of glass that are usually like hedge funds in political influence peddling firms or whatever. No, we're gonna be in one of those. This is my promise to you, the listener.

This is your dream. I'm gonna get yourself some of those bad Wall Street guy suits. Go in. Everything else is the same. Anyway, shall we talk about Bones? We should. We should. We asked Will to come on here and give his perspective on the late 2000s,

crime procedural, fo-forens. And as things happen to lends. And, and, and, the, the, the, thi thi th, this, th, th, this, th, this, th, this, th, this, th, th, this, th, this, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi else is everything else is thi else is thi else is everything else is everything else is everything else is everything else is, is, is everything else is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi else, thi else, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, everything else thi, everything else thi, everything else, everything else, everything else, everything else, everything else, thi, thi, thi,, comedy, forensic thing, bones. And as things happen to line up, it was basically the perfect episode for Will to come and talk to us about. Because it's a Deedrick Bader vehicle. It's always good to see Deedrcate Bader. He's looking well. Or he was looking well 11 years ago. He was looking well a decade ago when this was made. I don't know how he's doing now.

Well, yeah, as you said, so you read me on the bones cast, and I think this is like the perfect way to do it, because you know, you guys have been cataloging bones, and you guys are bones experts. And I was of course aware of the show Bones when it was on TV. And I would see ads for it, and I was aware that it was phenomenally popular. But I had never seen even like a minute, like even one commercial breaks worth of this show. I was aware of like the stars of it and like the general conceit of it.

But I had never seen an episode and Never having seen it before jumping in and you know season five like, you know well well into season five of this show Which is when this episode was as best I can understand it. It is a show that revolves around the FBI's crack soy division. That's, but that's the thing. That's actually where you are wrong. They are just academics who are constantly working for the FBI and who have several FBI agents embedded in their university department, essentially, or department at the Jeffersonian, which is an allegory for the Smithsonian.

It just seems like, you know, like, sort of like, Hannibal, to catch a serial killer, you know, you have to have to mind hunt one with a serial killer. Like, I was just, just from what I could instantly glean from the show, I thought the conceit was like to catch soy-based criminals. They needed soy-based forensics experts and FBI agents to do awful Weedan-esque bans with one another. Just like a just, oh terrible as they you know go from you know a con to con you know hunting down sex sickos or whatever. It's yeah like if somebody said what if we could give you a decade of a show with like sea gradegrade Weedon impressions. But speaking, I want to, before we go on, this is a question I like to ask people who

have only tangentially aware of Bones and maybe have only ever encountered it by listening to or being on this podcast, which is that there was a lawsuit settled between the creators of Bones and Fox for a portion of the profits of bones. A portion of the rights of the profits of bones. Will, I'm going to ask you to give me a ballpark guess. How much do you think that was for like the portion of the bones that the creator and a couple of the producers would get? It was for four of them. Well, I did, I did notice that Emily

DeChenell and David Boring Anis are more producers of the show. So I think they were, they must have a big cut for doing this as long as they did. Yeah. Okay. Given, given the insane popularity of the show, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say half a billion dollars. Ah, you fucked me on it. It's, that's 180 million dollars that they got from a lawsuit to do with this just godawful, C-grade Whedon-esque show where they're all sexually harassing each other. Yeah, 179 million dollars. Good for them. I mean, I can't remember the last time the Murdoch family took a loss anywhere, you know, close to that.

Yeah. It's, it's very weird. And as we have sort of discussed on this show, we are only looking at season five. Never season six. Nothing before. Never. I've never seen, I also had never seen a minute of this show before Riley suggested doing this and being a sucker for punishment I said sure so season five and season five and we have noted before that season five was the one Riley want to look at because of all of these bad shit plots but also because things just have kind of totally gone off the rails and it was right at the end of season four that Deschannel and Boreanas became executive producers of the show and started to have a hand in the actual direction of the thing. So I like to personally blame them for the plots that we encounter throughout this season. Yeah that's right. And also if you to everyone listening, this is Marxism, by the way. This is historical materialism. You're looking at a class analysis of the economic forces that produce this moronic program that is about this area of Will's interest.

And also, I think the longest we have gone without starting the episode. Whoops. So, let's get to it. We are talking about season 5, episode 12, the proof in the pudding. They all have terrible like friends style the one with the murder format kind of episode titles. The bones count on this one is 16. The bones count for your reference will is when I review the script and see how many times

the word bones was spoken in the duration of a 40 minute episode. Although I did also do a scan for the word bone singular. Oh right, the expanded bones count. It's the Ebbet da. That rockets up to 28. Awesome, this is so good. This is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. They're like, $180 million.

And that's just for a lawsuit for a bit of it. Have you seen this bone? I will take it down to bone storage. Okay, bones. Million please. Yes. I'm off to bone storage. It's in the bone basement. You know that.

That's it. Buy me bone storage or go to hell. Yeah, no, I mean, Riley, you alluded to the other the other thing I picked them. It's like they they their lab is in the Jeffersonian Museum in DC. I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay, so just just the taste of this show. Just to wet your beat. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the to to to the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. just just the taste of this show, just to wet your beak is $180 million. Could they not afford the fucking rights to say the word Smithsonian on a fucking TV show? Which is like, you know, the Smithsonian is like a federally funded like national institute? How are they charging royalties to say the name of this fucking museum in a TV show? Yeah, okay, two theories. One is they're so ruthlessly, um, they have no professional or ethical or standards of any kind. Like, they would basically be portraying

the Smithsonian as a bunch of like, you know, um, sex crazed bunglers. So I think the Smithsonian might take exception to that. And two, it's so lazily written. They probably just assumed they couldn't say it and didn't bother to check. Imagine if they could copyright that stuff in any movie that didn't have the money together had to call it like, Greyhouse Down. The President Mansion has fallen. We have to go and see the President of the Mother of Pearl House. So we do we do open in the lab at the Jeffersonian Medical Institute for Sexual Harassment. And in something that would fuck with anyone from 2020 who is watching this, but instead

it's 2009. So it's fine that we open on a cheese pizza making Michael Jackson references. Yeah, wow. Yeah, big, big eye looking at the way. It begins and David Boring at us is just sort of, he's doing his soy bands with Emily Day Chanel about seeing patterns in the sort of cheese topping of a cheese pizza, and he's like, oh, like you don't see Michael Jackson in there

and he starts doing like MJ moonwalking bullshit. And then, like I said, this is the first, like, you know, the 60 seconds I've ever seen to the show. And it takes a hard left turn from that, from that soy band to just talking about their sex lives. And then like someone left a pregnancy test in the bathroom that's positive. And then it becomes like the mystery of like, you know, who pissed on this strip. And then like, they just ask Emily, the bones, Dr. Bones character, and she's, they're like, no, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time. And then they just start going through all the women in the office and they're like, um, Angela is currently a very sexually active. And so it's probably her.

And they're like, um, and then she's like, that character Angela is apparently having sex with like a teenager or like, or like, is it, is a kid from freaks and geeks I think. Yeah. This is a... I mean he doesn't look he doesn't look any older than when he was on that show and then and then Dr. Bones's like diagnosis of it is like hmm he's a he's 16 years old. He's been groomed on discord so his sperm is very motile and good. It's probably him. Yeah, this is actually a great introduction to the staff of the Jeffersonian Institute for Sexual Harassment because somehow the B plot of every episode is somebody in the very small staff fucking somebody else on the very small staff and introducing some into personal conflict. But not the main characters that everyone wants to have sex with each other.

No. No. No. By the way, I mean is it ever acknowledged or become a plot point on this show that Emily De Channeel's character is autistic in any way way. No. No. No.. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is the episode. Is th. It the episode. It th. It is a th. It is a the episode. It is a th. It is a th. It th. It is th. It is the episode of the episode of the episode of th. It is the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the episode of the the the the the the the the the th. It is a th. It is a th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the th. th. the way, I mean, is it ever acknowledged or become a plot point on this show that Emily De Chanel's character is autistic in any way? Is that just heavily implied? Yeah, it's heavily, it's discussed, well, because the weird thing is, it's based on like a real person who was like, here's all the stuff I would say in these situations called Kathy Rikes. But like the way it's actually written, I've made this observation a few tiiiii, is is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, is, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is,this observation a few times, is that her, how autistic she is flexes with the needs of the plot.

Like if it's an easy going B plot scene, like, you know, it's like, you know, who pissed in my chair or whatever, then she does not understand a single metaphor or social cue. But like when the plot needs to move along, she can pick up on any vibe, because basically, like I said, these writers, theeeeeee. thiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the th. f. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. the, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the, the, to move along, she can pick up on any vibe, because basically, like I said, these writers are incredibly lazy. Right, because I mean, like, you know, here's a, like, you know, a gorgeous successful professional woman and they're like, uh, is this your pregnancy test? And then she's just like, you know, blankly, like, um, impossible. I have not had sexual intercourse in five years, four months, and 37 days. Yeah, she also frequently responds to things with like, you know in Terminator 2 when Edward Follong is teaching the Terminator

like how to smile and do some stuff. Or in like in other movies where, yeah, somebody is learning and they go, oh, I am an alien, I see you were making a joke. That's how she responds to a lot of things. She goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi, oh, thi, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, they go, oh, I am an alien. I see you were making a joke. That's how she responds to a lot of things. She goes, oh, I see that your expression of this was actually sarcasm. And then she smiles and they go, yes, good job, Bones. $180 million for the like 3% of this that producers get.

Just keep that figure in your mind. Yep. So it has, well, what was interesting to me was that Bones revealing that she is basically in cell because the previous however many episodes before Angela started fucking again was a whole Volcell plot line where Angela kept explaining to everybody that she met with no prompting, including children with no prompting whatsoever That she was not currently having sex and had not had sex in a long time and really wanted to have sex But she wasn't going to because she was doing a voluntary celibacy thing And it's like please stop telling people that you work with and then she broke that street with a what appears to be a 14 year old boy who's working as a psychologist for the FBI. That's right now. That's right. that, of of of of of of of that, of that, that, that, that, the the the that, the that, the the the the that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, the thr- the tho, tho- tho- th th th th th th th th th the, the, the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the thea thea. theauuuuuuuuuuuuuu theauuuuu theauu thea. thea. thea, the the th a, what appears to be a 14-year-old boy who's working as a psychologist for the FBI. That's right now, of course, before the streak she was dating the other scientists for

the FBI because, you know, you could only know eight people and you have to date every one of them like a round robin, obviously. So, you know, Angela says it's not her. I am fucking but I'm not pregnant, she says. then. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That. thi. That. That. That. That's. That's. thi. That's. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's. That's. thi. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. th. th. th. That's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I. It's th. It's thee. I's the. It's. It's I am fucking, but I'm not pregnant, she says. But it might be, Cam, the lady who's walking around quizzing everybody about their sexual activity, it might be the 16-year-old girl that she is looking after. But then all of a sudden, here comes Secret Agent T. Jones. Here comes the A-plot. I thought, yeah. And I thought for a second that it was was was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was toe-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-in-in, to-a-a-a-in-a-in-a-in-a-in-a-in-in, to-in, tooing tooing tooing to to to to to to tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing too-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s-s. the-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s wa-s wa-s wa-s. the A plot. I thought, yeah. And I thought for a second that it was Morris

Chestnut and I googled to see who it was. But Morris Chestnut was also a guest star in a different episode of Bones. But instead this is Richard T. Jones, who we all know from Event Horizon, a classic event horizon, Joel Schumacher's phone booth and of course the Danny DeVito vehicle Renaissance Man. Movies that we will be pushing on you in that Airbnb blockbuster band. Yes, absolutely. We will be insisting you watch Event Horizon instead of some some guardians of the galaxy. Yeah, some like just some 12 year old's want to have a sleepover and watch a fun movie.

And instead of, instead of Infinity War, I'm like, yeah, check out Event Horizon. I think you're really going to like it. Oh, sorry, excuse me. You want to see the Iron Man? Can I interest you instead in a cinematic tour to force that is the filmography of Diedrich Bader? So they declare that they're not going to let anybody leave. They're locking everybody in while they wheel a big suspicious body bag. They announce that they are from the General Services Administration.

And the true deep state. Yes. And that the agents are all named Mr. White, Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones on some real the matrix type shit. Yeah, I mean, they kind of did kind of fuck up the, the matrix type shit. Yeah, I mean they kind of did they kind of fuck up the the parallelism there, you know, colors common last names classic G-men hijinks. Half, um, half reservoir dogs. Yeah, half whales. The other one. So they announced that they are tasking the bone squad with figuring out how this corpse in this box died, which led to this very confusing exchange for me.

Mr. White says, your government requires you to figure out how this person died. Until you do, we are all locked in here together as a matter of national security. About two seconds later, he says, you have until dawn tomorrow to fulfill this task. And then he follows, that that that that that that that that thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeee. theee. theeee. theee. the the tomorrow to fulfill this task. And then he follows that up by saying, the sooner you figure out what killed this individual, the sooner life gets back to normal. Although it kind of sounds like life is getting back to normal at dawn tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it was again, never, I mean, I guess they do kind of explain why there was like a there's a there's a time limit on this But the first thing I noticed with this like and also he makes it clear that they can't really do any of the actual forensic test on this skeleton that they would otherwise use to determine cause of death because they have to like preserve the skeleton perfectly? So like just the first thing I notice is like they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. thi the. the. the. the. the first first the. the. the first first the. the first the. thi. the first the first the first the. the first thing I notice is like they they wheel in this like it's like it's a completely like bleached just like

totally like perfectly preserved skeleton like all the bones are perfectly arranged and they're like okay we're coming to you the experts we need to find out cause of death and and like but also do not identify like the the the the person that he said like identifying the corpse is zero priority, just we only want to know cause of death. And they wheel out a perfectly preserved skeleton save for a giant fucking divot missing from the skull. And I'm like, well, I mean, I think I could give you a pretty good guess about what killed this person. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it seems kind of where the problem might be when you have like a third of a skull blown out, you know?

Yeah. Ah, yes, it was his cholesterol. Yeah. So down in the, down in the car park outside, the agents have miraculously teleported down there and they are stopping Booth from going inside and there's all a bit of a bit of posturing from everybody. Booth leaves and calls the others on his phone and the others in a very 2009 touch say, what if these, how do we know these guys aren't terrorists? Yeah.

And I'm Rural Sham is notable for, you know, A, existing in 2009, but B, yeah, just like getting a bunch of, you know, government, just like fat guys to put on suits and then, you know, use a bunch of cop talk to try to intimidate you into looking at some skeletons. Classic terrorist move. Well, Booth immediately states with complete confidence, they're not terrorists. They're just unidentified people who have come in and held us captive in like kind of threatening to disappear us if we don't do what they want, you know? That's not terrorizing anybody. That's fine.

So back in the lab, Bones is having a look at the body. She says, male from the sub-pubic angle, last- phase development at costocondrial junctions, we can claim to declare that this person was older than 39 at the time of death. There is our first clue. Yeah. Also, you know, when you turn 39, you know, it's, it happens to every man is your pelvic tilt gets that that classic 39 angle. You can tell these things exactly of course from looking at bones. So they also declare that the body has had multiple corrective surgeries and has like a fucked up back. So... And yeah they were also

able to determine that whoever this person was, chances are somebody was suce the themofeat means every day and was fucked a lot but was very bad at it. Yeah, they appear to have some kind of Irish moron curse. I can't tell you anything more than that. But the pelvic joints are worn out completely smooth. The knees appear to have been fractured from kneeling to the pope. Yeah according to the pelvis region, we can tell that he was suffered from what's known as the Irish curse, but also suffered from it mentally by being in very close proximity to another much larger individual who is renowned for having one of the world's largest penises of all time.

Who may have even been involved in his death, hint hint. Wink. Wink. So yes, our clues so far is that the body that's been ferried in suspiciously by government agents over the age of 39 and has a big section of their skull blown out. leading to a beautiful line. So like you said, Will, they're not allowed to do any type of destructive testing. There are some samples of like particulates and fibers and stuff, which they are also allowed to look but no touchy.

And so they're like, how are we going to date these bones? And bone says, I'm going to compare it to bones that we already have dated. I'm just going to hold them up next to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each to each each each each each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each to each to each to each to each to each to each toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe to each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to each other to to to their says, I'm going to compare it to to bones that we already have dated. I'm just going to hold them up next to each other and eyeball it. That's right. Yeah. I mean, she pockets one. She pockets one. Yeah, I'm going to compare this pelvis to Lucy and just get a rough sort of general idea. to just get a rough, just a general idea of how old. th. th. th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, the they, they, tho, they, tho, thi, tho, they, they they the they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the. I the. I's the. I'm just theeate. I'm just thooooooo. I'm just the. I'm just thooooooo. I'm just the. I'm just th So, I'd say they died sometime in the last 40,000 years.

I'd say, this is a classic Anthropocene femur if I've ever seen one. So bones pockets one and goes running off with it. And Mr. White stops her and says, hey, where are you going, leading bones to say, to bone storage? Kids in the basement. Yes! Yes! to say to bone storage kids in the basement. Yes. I love this show. 180 million bucks.

Beautiful. So back out of the diner, Booth is on the phone to his boss, the aforementioned Dietrich Vader. One of the three places. One of the three places that exist in Washington, D.C. There is the Jeffersonian lab. There is the diner that they all eat at every this. I. I. I this. I this. I this. I this this. I this the the the this. I the the this. I the the this. I the this. I the this. I the this. I love this. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. th. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. th. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. the the the the the three places that exist in Washington, D.C. There is the Jeffersonian Lab, there is the diner that they all eat at every single day, and there is the founding fathers pub that they go to after Washington. Now, Willie, you've actually been to D.C. Yeah, I've spent more time in D.C. than I would have liked to. Yeah, I mean mean, I'm gonna say this very confidently.

There are no diners in D.C. There are no nice places to eat. They're all like cigar bars filled with defense industry contractors. And then like just sort of awful just gastro pub style eateries called like, you know, signatures or like the legislators and shit like that where, you know, oh, yeah, Satanic City. Where the Capitol steps go to do crushed up Adderall in the bathroom, awesome. Yeah, exactly. There's an area, diner, a drive-in, nor a dive. What a terrible town. So, um, so he's talking to his boss, Diedrich Bader, who's some big wig at the FBI. And says, well I can't help you get in there but I'll help get you out of like a nameless government prison that they

take you to afterwards which is a nice funny post-Iraq joke. You're gonna get tortured what you're gonna be black-bagged by the General Services Administration. Yeah, taken to a black-bagged by the General Services Administration. Yeah, taken to a black site somewhere. And that's funny. That's funny to Bones. Especially because this came out like halfway through Obama's first term and it was like time to start Kelly's from American citizens. I mean it's just like like I said this this show was I mean this was like this was this was the most wretched soy I I think I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to, this show was, I mean, this was like, this was, this was the most wretched soy I think I've ever, I've ever come across. But like, you know, as the, we can get into it, like, as the plot develops here, but it's not just that it's, it's, it's weed-esque and it's just awful,

just the cadence and rhythm of the way they're talking. But it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like of the way they're talking, but it's like if this were just in the service of, you know, Undermining Western culture and doing the things that soy, you know, we like it to do But this is soy in service of like, you know, American Empire, which is the worst of every fucking world imaginable. I have this written down later on in my notes, which we'll get to, but I had this, this is the perfect Democrat show, right, where it is, as you say, soy and service of the American Empire, you know, where it is, it's all about the, it is, it is norms-humping, it is nonetheless treating, sort of the, it is treating the, it is treating this as something sort of light and fun, but sort of under it, you know, I mean, again, we'll see this like, oh, no, you

for reasons we'll get into, oh, you can't damage these bones because we have to treat these with a symbol of our nation and so on and so forth, right? This is kind of, this is something that's sort of, especially, thi......... And, this, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, this is kind of, this is something that sort of, especially this episode, it just drips off of it, I think. Yeah, and it's just like, of this very strange era in American culture, like, it's just, you know, probably around the same time that like NCIS was the other like biggest show on TV, and like everyone's favorite character on that show was like the gothic. the thii. th favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite the the the the the the the the the the the their c. their c. their their their their their their their their their. their th. th... I was, their, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th.. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this, this, this, this, this is, this, this is, this is, this is just, like, this is just, like, this is just, this is just, this is just, this is just, th. th you know, dresses like, she shops at Hot Topic and wears black lipstick, but it's like, you know, high up in some, the naval criminal intelligence service or something

like that. And like, I guess on this show, they're like, what if we made every character like that? This idea that, like, you know, yeah, like, I go to, I go to a Dragon Con on the weekends, but during the week, I, um, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I work, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I go, I go, I go to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the CIA. Will, I am not joking when I say, a few episodes ago, the major B plot revolved around somebody who we hadn't seen all season turning up with three tickets to the premiere of James Cameron's avatar and they then spent the rest of the movie, like, sorry, the rest of the episode, watching the trailer for Avatar in the lab and saying movie, like, sorry, the rest of the episode, watching the trailer for Avatar in the lab and saying things like, I can't tell the difference between like what's special effects and what's real anymore. And then the other character is saying, wait until you see it in 3D.

Oh, I hate to do a digression from this from the avatar thing but can you please play the sound effect that plays when we reach the length of the episode? Yeah this is my this is my this is my favorite part of the Boney Island Whitefish is we take a 43 minute episode of television and then we really fucking get into it. We talk about it for twice as long as it goes. Well yeah recording this show certainly took with you know is a bigger investment of time that it took to write this fucking episode that's yes that's a very recurring theme and and just to come back around to to what we were saying I think a thing that's been a very very strong theme throughout all the episodes of the season that we've watched is this underlying I guess underlying constant threat

that while the characters of this show are the the the th the th and th and thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus their thus thus. thi. threat that while the characters of this show are the heroes and they're doing the right thing and they're serving justice and everything, if somebody is to get in the way of that and to be anything other than 100% cooperative at any time, they will immediately be threatened with being charged with multiple felonies taken away, into within each other lives. Basically just like you know we can put you away for like 10 years charged with multiple felonies taken away, locked up. Basically just like, you know, we can put you away for like 10 years without anything on you. This dude is an FBI agent. We don't give a fuck. We are trying to solve this crime.

That's how seriously, they take bone law. And then I guess, the other thing that is revealed in this episode that I guess is a facet of the lore and plot development of the show is that not... th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, basically, basically, thi, thi, thi, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, thi, basically, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theyi, theyi, theyi, they's, basically, they. I guess is a facet of the of the lore and plot development of the show is that not only is Booth David Boringanus, not only is he a fucking Fed, but he's also like a fucking special ops sniper, that he's a fucking sniper which becomes like a big part of the plot of this episode. Just to where this episode goes with his fucking like sniper past is so obscene to me. But we'll, we we we we we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll get, we'll get th. We'll get th. We'll get th. We'll get th. We'll get th. th. the, we'll th. the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the. the. the. the. the. the. th. Just to where where this episode goes with his fucking like sniper fucking past is so obscene to me but we'll get there. Also the fun thing is the sniper past not talked about before not talked about subsequently as far as I this was introduced like this episode. Oh yeah for example like it's great. None, no, every character's traits exist for one episode and one episode only. The only ones that stick about their backstory are the completely unspeakable things they invent.

Like, for example, given, like, they were like, well, Booth, obviously you'll be close to our subject matter, given that you're the descendant of a presidential assassin, John Oh my God. Oh, yes god, yeah, he's related to John Wilkes' booth and you know, presidential assassinations, I wonder where this is going. Yeah. But it's like, it's, but that's the kind of like lazy characterization. It's something I notice as well, in order to make this character interesting, we just have to give him a lot of attributes. And the more attributes, the more three-dimensional he is.

And so they're like, well, he loves his country, but he's descended from a presidential assassin, how conflicted he must be, and so on. So Booth gets a call from the baby-faced suites who has used his psychological powers to detect... Speed phrenology. He's used his psychologist powers to determine that these guys are a unit of government agents who have been trained for the thing they are currently doing. Which is some incredible insight. Just incredible insight.

But he can tell, he can tell that they don't respect Mr. White, who is the leader, but they do have a deep reverence for the body on the gurney. Democrat show, see? Yep. So back in the lab, Angela and Hodgins are speculating that maybe they've got Jimmy Hoffer here or D.B. Cooper, but Angela can definitely tell how handsome this dead body was by the skull's jawline. Yeah, exactly. She's able to positively identify the body by having WAP. Yeah. So this prompts Hodgins to suggest that she do one of her famous bullshit reconstructions. Will you'll enjoy this. Like Pauli Perrette in NCIS who it seems to just be like a hot goth that they said, hey, you want to come work down the lab.

They find Angela in like one of the first episodes of the season and she's just like an art student. And they get her to come and work at this fucking lab. And then somehow, somehow she becomes this like forensic expert doing reconstructions and stuff. So sometimes it'll come up that she's like, when I was in art school, learning about different kinds of crayons. It's the thing, right? It's again, like, you know, Booth is, he was a trained sniper for this episode. She has magic, she basically has magical sort of plot culk where she can just

use her abilities to just fill any hole that the, because the thing is, right, this is actually a very unusual episode of bones. It's very well structured and almost like an actual mystery compared to other episodes of bones where the mode of storytelling is they will set up a possibility and then debunk it and then set up another possibility that they stumble across by luck and then they'll do that for 40 or so minutes until they've gone through about 40 minutes of possibilities then whatever the possibility they're on a 40 minutes that's the one that it was. And usually to get from possibility when they can't think of some way to do it that's involved with the story of the world and the mystery, Angela's supercomputer, which is actually called the Angelator in the

early seasons. Oh, fuck. I didn't see the early seasons. I happened upon this fact from reading. I'm staying true to the spirit of the bony island whitefish and confining myself to season five. Nevertheless, she's just able, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr-anananananananananananananananananananananananananthtogether. the a. the a. the a. of flexible technological superpower that again is sort of timeed quite conveniently with the needs of the plot that was written for this one of the most financially successful entertainment pro products ever created.

So Hodgins is on to something. He's starting to look all frenetic. And he says, one of the fiber samples turned out to be pink wool. The bad back, a nick from a transiting bullet. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thi. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thee thee thee thee thee thin-s. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs needs. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It, thi. It is thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. It's is thin. It's thin. It's thin. It's theeeeats, thin. It's the out to be pink wool, the bad back, a nick from a transiting bullet, 1963. Cam says pink wool, as in Chanel, severe head wound, oh my god, this is President John F. Kennedy. That's right. And, okay, so, like, so once that happened, it was just like, okay, it was just like, okay, okay, it was just like, okay, okay, the, okay, the, th............ th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, a the, a the, a the, a the, a the, a the the the, a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th. Nick, th. Nick, thick, neck, neck, neck, neck, neck, neck, neck. Nick, neck, neck. Nick, neck. Nick, thick, thick, thick, thick, the th. That's right. And okay, so like, okay, so once that happened, it was just like, okay, what's the point of this exercise again? It's not a fucking mystery how he died.

They're like, oh, they're like, please determine what happened. It's like, okay, well, mystery over. A bullet, fucking rip the, popped the top of his skull off. But of course, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not skull off. But of course, that's not really the mystery at play here. It becomes the whole, you know, was there a second shooter? What was the angle that the shot that killed him? And like, and that's what all the secrecy is going on for.

Yeah, they don't want to, um, you know, they don't want them to identify the body or anything because if they were to say this is JFK and we want to know Was he actually shot from you know the book depository? Was he actually shot? Yeah, they instead instead they say we want to we want to determine the cause of death for this thing. I feel like someone in the lab could have just pulled up the Zipruder film on their phone. Yeah, yeah, and I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their the up the Zapruda film on their phone. Yeah, yeah. And I was trying to anticipate, like, you know, how are they going to write themselves out of this? And like, they do it in the most cowardly way imaginable. But I was sort of hoping that like, that Dr. Bones would be able to determine. It was not actually what we all saw in the Zeprudertop of his fucking head that killed him, but actually a heart attack that happened ten seconds before the first shot for five. Yeah, the whole thing is just about, it's about exonerating a group of simple, uh, like, nymph-hads who just love to fucking hang out in book depositories.

Yeah. So Hodgins here is kind of representing the conspiracy theorist. He says, you know, people have a thirst for the truth. He also says it's naive of us to imagine that Kennedy's remains were actually ever interred at Arlington because as you said, well, it is just a perfectly bleached skeleton laid out in this fucking thing. Very funny. Yeah, well everyone knows that when the CIA kills you, they then put your body in the desert in a far side cartoon so that then you become like a Halloween skeleton.

No, I like, I like that. They exhumed his corpse and it still had like a suit on it or whatever, some dead, like some meat still on it or like whatever, where they used to embalmolm........................................ the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. they.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. they... they... they. they. they. the or like whatever whatever they use to embalm him and then they just put him in one of those beetle tanks to like strip it bear before they brought it to the bones lab yeah at one point bones actually does say oh flesh I don't deal with flesh another episode she does she does well she hasn't had sexual intercourse in quite some time according to her it's that's that's th.. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the they they the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like liked. ty ty theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee like like like like like like quite some time according to her. It's true. Yeah, that is part of the thing that we've really struggled with in the run of this season is trying to determine like the what it is that actually makes a case suited to this particular team. Because sometimes it's a skeleton like this and it's from the past. Sometimes it's a corpse that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they found they they they they found they found they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they this particular team. Because sometimes it's a skeleton like this,

and it's from the past. Sometimes it's a corpse that they found like 20 minutes ago with a bunch of flesh all over it. Sometimes it's clearly a murder. Sometimes they're trying to just figure out what the cause of death is. It seems- At one point it was a mummy. That's true. One they thought was a lepricon. Pretty cool. So Booth turns up,

Booth turns up, tries to break in, shoots out the window with a gun and gets- No, he said, they're officially on lockdown, like no one can enter or leave, and like Booth gets around that by just like using his service weapon to just shoot the glass door and walk in. Yeah. And for some reason, for some tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tun tu tun tu tuns tuns tuns tuns tuns te tuns te te te te tries tries tries tries tries te te te th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the the the the shoots the shoots out out the shoots the shoots out the shoots out the shoots out the shoots out the shoots out the shoots out the shoots out the shoots the the to just shoot the glass door and walk in. Yeah. And for some reason, for some reason he gets tackled by the the secret agents instead of immediately being shot to death. Yeah.

Yeah. Which I wasn't wasn't quite sure about, you know, so. He's using my... Well, that's why they weren't able to protect Kennedy is that they, that they, the damn rules imposed by the ACLU mean they have to th......... th. th. That's th. That's, th. That's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. thi. they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, they weren't able to protect Kennedy, is that they, the damn rules imposed by the ACLU mean they have to tackle first. That's right. Um, so, you know, Booth's in there now and he says, did you figure out who the Skellton is yet? And bone says, uh, they, you know, everybody thinks it's JFK. The 35th President of the United States who was assassinated. in 1963. And also, Cam is certain that Michelle, her 16-year-old ward, is pregnant. And Booth, reflecting the interests of the audience and the writers alike, says,

usually that'd be big news, but not really right now. That's right. So I was like, cool, it's good to know that neither the characters nor the writers or I am expected to care about the fucking B plot of this episode. You're showing me right now. This is one, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th characters nor the writers or I am expected to care about the fucking B-plot of this episode you're showing me right now. This is one of my favorite resolutions of a B-plot as well. I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna give away their, shall I do it folks? I'm gonna give away the resolution of the B-plot where they're just like, oh yeah it was false positive, never mind. It turns out nobody's nobody. I. the the thagh. I. th. th. I. th. th. the th. th. I. th. the thine. I. thine. thine, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm the the that, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, I's, I's, th. I's, the the th. I's, the the the the th. I's, the the the the the th. I's, the the the the th. I's the the their. I's th. I's th. th. the th. the. I's thee. I'm theateateate. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th But not before the Hodgkins, like the sort of conspiracy dork guy, who apparently had a prior sexual relationship with Angela, finds out that she's, like I said, been impregnated by a 16-year-old.

And then he begins doing psychology on her about how, like, yeah, you're not going to get rid of this baby. Like we all know, you want this kid, you're gonna raise it, but because I've, you know, with the person I know who you are, you're gonna like consciously raise it on your own because you don't wanna like, you know, put all that pressure on a guy who's, you know, taking the SATs next week. And then, like, he just puts all the pressure, the person, the person, the person, the person, I know, I know you're not going to end, you're not going to end this pregnancy, because you know, then the bones gang would have another murder to investigate.

No, yeah, like, and then he's just like, but I want to let you know, I'm going to be that guy. I'm going to step up and I will raise the teenager's son as my own and marry you if need be. It was just sort of like this is go to jail dude what the fuck man like this is not yeah this is like you. This is this is the least professional workplace with like the biggest sicko is imaginable and it's just like yeah like my co-worker and former lover has just found out that she's pregnant and like doesn't you know obviously like this is a very personal and like highly stressful moment emotionally and to deal with and he just like immediately gives her the full court press to just be like yeah I'll raise the kid but like we're getting

married but you'll marry we're getting married now and it's just like yeah it's just so odd so strange I just want to say it's a it's a completely it's just like, yeah, it's just so odd, so strange. I just want to say it's a completely, it's a completely Chad move to have someone you know say, I think I might be pregnant and then to just immediately make it all about yourself. That rules. Yeah, yeah. And also, while they're being basically held hostage to fly down who killed JFK or how JFK actually died. It's just that's what makes the B plot kind of so funny for me. It's like we're investigating the death of John F. Kennedy and we're also figuring out

this pregnancy snuff who Mr. Repregnancy. Now just for Will's benefit, when Cam says the 16 year old that I'm looking after, who isn't the one who fucked Angela. Oh, that wasn't her daughter? No. I just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the B. the B. that's the B. the B. that's the B. the B. the B. the B. the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. that's what's what's what's what's what's what the the the the the. the. the. that's what that's what that's what that's what the. that's what that's what that's that's the. thi. the. that I'm looking after, who isn't the one who fucked Angela. Oh, that wasn't her daughter? No. I just, okay, oh, yeah. So she's adopted someone because that's another thing about her. You know, it's another attribute that they can just fucking slap onto the pile. That's her main thing that they slapped on as the thing she has going on outside of work when they need another bit of plot to work with. Other than in a recent episode where the one in Roswell, where there were some people speaking Spanish, and she was like,

I used to be a cop and coroner in New York City so I can speak Spanish. Never comes up again. Never again. But so she's talking about the boy that this stepdaughter or whatever is dating. And she says she told me to my the the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. th. th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one thi thi the. The one things things things th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one the one the one the one the one the one the one th. The one th. The one one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one th. The one things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things thingstalking about the boy that this stepdaughter or whatever is dating and she says she told me to my face that she wasn't having sex with that boy. So for your benefit, Will, the boyfriend they're talking about is Michael B. Jordan from the water and and Creed and Josh Trank's Chronicle which I just re-watched and it's still good and as has been previously established on this show,

Michael B. Jordan's very first screen appearance was in Down Neck from the seventh episode of The Sopranos. Hmm. Right, yeah. Which is also the only episode in the entire run of the Sopranos to be directed by a woman. Lorraine Senna. There we go. But I digress. That's just a reminder of a better show that's out there. So now that we've, now that we've resolved, we've we've breezed over this B plot and I am happy to skip over it for the rest of this thing. Other than the one note that I have here, which is finally all of that unbridled sexual harassment at the Jeffersonian Institute for Sexual Harassment has finally come back to bite Angela. It turns out that fucking every single person that you work with and also telling all

the people you haven't fucked that you're thinking about fucking them is not the greatest move? Yeah. Oh, last thing, Will, this is building off your observation that this is the most soy show imaginable. It is also extremely, extremely soy behavior to be like, ah, yes, another man's child. I'll be raising that one. This is my strategy to continue to have sex with a female is a raise a teenager's child. I'm all be the dependable, reliable marriage option for you, ma'am. As soon as the child reaches adult age and moves out, we'll be alone together and then

I make my move. They call that the long game. Yeah, that's right. So, Neil Strauss is writing about. So Booth calls his boss again and he's given him the heads up that he thinks these are probably Secret Service agents and his boss Deidreke Pader says, Secret Service, do yourself a favor. Don't tell any Reagan jokes or mention the Bush shoe incident.

Huh, remember George Bush? I wonder why somebody threw some shoes at George Bush. Let's not get into that. Yeah, it was to embarrass the Secret Service. The clowns of the, oh, the Treasury Cucks of the United States Armed Services. Yeah, exactly. And when he brought up like, you know, don't make any Reagan jokes or bring up the Bush shoe incident, I was like, well, yeah, Bush shoe incident, but originally they did the Reagan reference. I just, I was assuming all the jokes would be about how he had Alzheimer's for like the majority of his presidency and not the fact that he was plugged with a 22 walking out of a building. Yeah. Oh man.

Well, it's those the two main ways to get girls is either. You offer to raise the child of them and another child or you assassinate a sitting president. Yes, yeah. Yeah, we don't know how Jody sitting president and that's really the only two ways. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we don't know how Jody Foster feels about that. You know, maybe she's a little bit turned on. I mean, or rather would be more had he used the higher caliber bullet. That's right.

So, um, so, you know, hey, let's all go and have a look at Angela's stupid fucking Reconstruction, even we already all agreed that it's JFK, and hey, what do you know? It looks like fucking JFK. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's like, it's like a let's, it is being battered over the head with hints that it's JFK, including them saying, it's JFK. And it's like, it just gets revealed every 30 seconds for about 10 minutes. It's rules. Well, that does actually fit in with the pattern of how these episodes are written in that, like you were saying, Riley, what they normally do is they say,

could this little corpse that we've found be a lepricon? And then 30 seconds later they say, no, it turns out it's just a regular guy. But then everybody refers to it as the lepreticon for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th., I I., I'm, I'm, th., the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. the, the, the, the, thirty, thirty, like, thirty, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thirty, like, like, thirty, like, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty refers to it as the lepricon for the rest of the episode. I can't believe it's a real leprecon. Oh yeah, like, they'll, like, because this is, this is true. It takes 43 minutes to write a 43 minute episode of Bones because they'll just forget that they said stuff. We've actually found like, like, sent just clear like transcription errors that just make it the dialogue and so on. Like it's so good. But yeah, they just like, they forget that they've done the reveal already. They do it sort of four or five times. So, um, so another, another very convenient thing here, which is that they're back in

the lab and they're having a look at the skull again. And Booth says, hey, hey, if it was JFK, Angela's facial reconstruction would have shown us whatever it is that we're looking for, right? And Bone says, no. Facial reconstructions are not photographs, Booth. There is a wide latitude for interpretation. Except for this fucking TV show, where we constantly use them. It's a pseudoscience and should not be taken seriously except if we need to for the

plot of any other given episode. There are so many other episodes in this season where they use a facial reconstruction from Angela to say cool we now have positive ID on this body. Except for this one specifically. So Booth says... I do like the like the CGI like the computer like the computer is reconstruction of the face and like it it looks like the shittthe the the the the C g i like the computer her computer is Reconstruction of the face and like it looks like the shittiest version of kind of the Imaginable it looks like like call of duty version of yeah yeah yeah. Yeah, that's why That's what it was like back then it's you know everyone there was a higher poly count for people. Yeah, yeah, it's JFK. Yeah, yeah, exactly. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. PlayStation 2. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But okay, like, so, I don't know, like, I mean, maybe skipping over some shit, but like, like, then when it starts to be given about like, being about like,

reconstructing the shooting itself with cantalopes and using the FBI's own perfect exact replica of the Carcano fucking infantry rifle that Julia Harvey Oswald allegedly allegedly used to shoot John F. Kennedy, which is. th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm thi, I'm th, I, I, I'm thi, I'm thi, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,ano fucking infantry rifle that Julia Harvey Oswald allegedly used to shoot John F. Kennedy, which is stored in the Jeffersonian Medical Institute for sexual harassment in a secret fucking underground like storage room that's connected but to the fucking the janitor's closet by like a he like they mentioned like oh the Jefferson building was actually built by the Freemasons based on the Templeitor's closet by like a... he like, they mentioned like, oh, the Jeffersonian building was actually built by the Freemasons based on the Temple of Solomon.

And then like, and then the guy takes out of his pocket like a fucking, a masonic like ancient map of the building that's like written on a fucking, yeah, like, written on like the the it's like you know like like stretched and treated flesh and they're like oh by the way there's a door to the rifle that we need to get in the janitor's closet so we can sneak away to do that. I love that. So fucking casually revealed that it blew my mind because just before that point they had been talking about doing one of Angela's stupid fucking recreations and And as you said, Will, Booth has said, hey, look above the right temple for this thing.

That's where JFK's ex-a-woomb was. And Bones is like, how do you know so much about the Kennedy assassination? And he says, for the first time ever, bones, I'm a trained sniper. And then, like, it kicks into a new gear of, just, like I said, not just wretched soy, like actually, cultural and political obscenity. In that, okay, so like Bones, in her, in her perfect recall, actually knows that Booth has fucking punched the ticket of 50 human beings for the United States government as a sniper. And that he is invested in the outcome of 50 human beings for the United States government as a sniper and that he is invested in the outcome of this investigation into was it pot was

there a second shooter or did Lee Harvey Oswald fire the only shots that killed Kennedy that Booth is so invested in this not just because he himself is the descendant of famous presidential assassination John Wilkes Booth but that it would if for him to find out that the US government lied about the descendant of famous presidential assassination John Wilkes Booth, but that it would, for him to find out that the U.S. government lied about literally anything would sort of shatter his psyche. Not in the fact that he's looked, like, looked down a fucking telescopic lens and seen the pink miss shoot out the back of the head of some Afghani teenager 50 times over and over. That doesn't disturb him, but to find out that the U.S government government government government government the US US US US US US US US US US US US US US US US the US the US the US the US the US the US to to to to the US, to to to to to to to to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to find to find to find to find to find the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the US.S.S. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the to to to to to to the US. the the to the the the the head of some Afghani teenager 50 times over and over. That doesn't disturb him, but to find out that the U.S. government lied about anything would sort of shatter his fucking ego and just entire world view, which I'm just like, I didn't even know that they just introduced that he was a sniper. And I'm sorry, if you killed that many people in the fucking you understand that the government lies about everything and like you probably have a much larger conspiracy part of your brain than

any other normal person but like for this asshole to find out that like oh gee maybe the Warren Commission wasn't totally on the level would be enough to like ruin him emotionally which was just like that's when I me my brain was completely... If you've killed 50 people in service of the government as a sniper, it's almost certain that you've been involved in something that the government has fucking covered up. Yes, yes. Oh my God.

This is, that's why I keep coming back to this idea that it's the perfect Democrat show because it's all about responsible and moral imperial management. Yeah, at one point Dr. Bones just said, this will crush Booth. And I'm like, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi's thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. said, this will crush Booth. And I'm like, oh, that and not the PTSD? This probably been fucking like, he's dealing with the last five seasons of the show? Because in the universe of this show, the gut, like, Booth could only ever have made, because he's like a chipper soy guy, you know, he could only have done like righteous kills or whatever, right?

Like he is, he is a good guy, which means everything he's ever done has always been good. His last connection to something bad was the fact that he's descended from John Wilkes Booth, right? Like, and the idea that he needs to maintain this kind of like storybook innocence, so he can just continue like his basically just serial murder campaign like around the global South on behalf of the US government and just the idea that well no we we need to maintain this very moral very straightforward very good guy image and like ultimately right at the risk of jumping ahead a bit I think it's heavily implied

Right that there were in fact two shooters that the Warren Commission did lie and then the bones team Says look we need to hide this fact from Booth so that he will not realize that Maybe like a child yeah, like yeah, they're like they're like if it turns out that this corpse isn't actually jolly old St. Nicholas, this will destroy the Marine sniper who we've been working with for the last six years. Well, Booth often represents the role of the government is good and righteous and shouldn't be questioned. And any time there is a conflict within an episode, or the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thozymea is thoesceaq is thiolice is thiolice is is thogelly is thogelly is thogelly is thiol is thiol is thiol is thiol is thiol is thiol is thiol is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the is the the the the the the the the the to the to to ty is to ty is to to to to to to to to to to to t role of, the government is good and righteous and shouldn't be questioned. And any time that there is a conflict within an episode, the way it eventually gets resolved is with everybody saying, yeah, you're right.

Like, there's a previous episode where they basically rip off the, you know, the necklace bombing incident that they sort of turned into 30 minutes or less, the guy who gets a bomb padlocked onto his neck and they get forced to rob a bank. So they basically just steal that for an episode of this show. And it turns out through the course of the show that the thing that set off the guy's bomb was somebody's pirate radio station frequency. And that person was like a fucking, you know, leftist complaining about the government. A leftist veteran complaining about the government and Booth is like, you are a bad person because you are complaining about the government and the episode resolves with the leftist

veteran apologizing for being mad at the government. Oh my god. So like they have this pretense of there being any form of conflict. For example, all of the moments in this show where Hodgins is like, hey, the government would actually hide something from you. And at the end of the day, it's all brushed over for, yeah, but what's more important is keeping up appearances. So, so, so something else that I that that that that that I that I that I that that I that th th th th th th th the the tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the day it's all brushed over for, yeah, but what's more important is keeping up appearances. Yeah. So, so something else that I loved as a line from Booth here, when they are discussing the direction that the head went, which is Will? Back into the left. Okay, when they were doing back to the left, all I could think of it was like the dialogue should have been written like, did the head go back into the left? Yeah, it went back into the left now.

I'm thinking it went back into the left. I'm thinking. Back into the left much? So, back into the left, please. So they're discussing that even though the, the head was allegedly shot from like what, the back right. From the back, yeah. From behind his head, yeah. That the head went back into the left. And Booth says, look, heads do all sorts of crazy things when you shoot them, which is a really,

a really cool thing for your like romantic comedy lead to say in your TV show. The other thing, right, he is constantly, and we mentioned earlier, right, where like, what of his things is always threatening to extrajudicially execute, rendition, or just beat people within an inch of their lives, every single time it's played for laughs. There's like a little staccato, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Like the comedy soundtrack behind him any time. He's like, oh, I wouldn't get in the way of this investigation, or my gun might go off accidentally, and those cameras are off.

Well, there's a moment in this episode where Hodgins, in order to cause a distraction, tells Mr. White that he's leaving and he's going home, even though they're locked in. He says, well, I'm an American and I have rights. And he goes to walk out and to make a distraction, he says, good job on the on the shoes, getting thrown at George Bush. And so this agent just grabs him and immediately like kidney punches him extremely hard, just gives him this massive liver shot and drops him to the deck. And nobody is like, I don't think you're allowed to do that actually. No, and Booth says to him after, he's like, oh, brought up the shoe thing.

You're lucky you didn't paralyze you. Yeah, you know, for just like making a, just for making a joke about, you know, the checkered past of the Treasury Cucks. So yeah, you're lucky you didn't get permanently injured and paralyzed by that. It's every single time, every single time it's played for laughs, every time. I mean, like the other, I guess like the biggest, like, the set piece of this episode is that they trick the Treasury, the GSA goon, Mr. White, into allowing them to, what he thinks will be to fire his service weapon inside this lab, inside a fucking closed room, but is really a trick because they are going to allow David Boreganas to use the Carcano rifle to see if he can

get off the two kill shots and the 1.6 seconds necessary to have, to maintain the Karkano rifle to see if he can get off the two kill shots and the 1.6 seconds necessary to have to maintain the official narrative of the JFK assassination and they do that by like putting two cantaloupes on like a little fucking cart and pushing it down the lab and then while he's on like a sort of like a like a walkway like a walkway and then he like instead of shooting the handgun he just grabs the replica replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the replica the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tocankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankankank toe. too. to to tooe. too-a. too-aqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have toe. toe. toe. to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.aqaqa c.aqa.a.a.a.a.a. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to, and then he like instead of shooting the handgun, he just grabs the replica Carcano rifle, which they got from the secret Freemason vault underneath the Jefferson Medical Science Institute for sexual harassment, that he just switches that out. He takes the bolt-action rifle and places like, you know, two kill shots in under 1.6 seconds onto the cantalogue. But look, it's it's a big the the th. th. th. th. thiiiii. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. te. te. tipe. tipe. tipea. tri tea. tri trin. trin. trinipe. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. in under 1.6 seconds onto the cantaloupe. But look, it's a big lab,

but it's not even close to the distance that they would have necessarily had to recreate to make it anything, like anything like a scientifically accurate recreation of this shooting. Like he's like not that far away at all. Like not anything were close to where he would have been in the book depository. This is a perfect encapsulation of like a piece of bones writing, right? Because number one, we have when they're down in the Masonic basement, getting the rifle. Sweet says, is that the actual weapon? And Booth says, yes, it's a perfect replica made by the FBI. I'm like, well, that's not the fucking weapon then, is it? Yeah. It's, why?

Why? Why make that? Leading to the amazing line from Swedes, perhaps the most hated weapon in United States history. No, God, that was so good. Oh my God, I forgot about that. That is so funny. Yeah, it's not it's not fat man and little boy that that's the most celebrated weapon in American history. So also just the idea, right? They are writing to a national consciousness. They're writing about a sort of national consciousness that just so maybe it existed in 2010. I don't know.

But I think you would be hard-pressed to sort of, the idea that there is the most hated anything in American history, the idea that there is anything even cohesive enough about that country to be like, ah, yes, everyone, everyone like, you know, spits on the ground to hate the Carcano rifle that killed JFK. It feels like, it feels to me, right? Like, these writers, the writers, the the writers, they they they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are their it feels to me like it like these writers the writers of bones different they are every episode have simply just never they have never been outside like either of the two pervert coasts like they have never under they've never asked one critical question about the

about the country they're writing about. It is simply just like, well, JFK is a famous president. Everyone hates the gun that shot him. They curse its name. That's why it's sealed away in the Masonic basement. Because you know, if anyone knew it was still there, the museum would be thronged with rioters trying to, trying to attack to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to attack, and to try and to attack the weapon. That most hated weapon, even a replica of it, is too dangerous to be let out from Solomon's Temple underneath the Jepersonian Museum.

I also like the idea that this is the most hated weapon in American history after we've already mentioned the fact that they're well aware enough of the audience of the dumbed who watched this drivel that they had to just be extra careful to be like, yes, John F. Kennedy, the 35th President of America who was assassinated on November 22, 1963 in Dallas, Texas. Yeah. So the thing about this that is Perfect Bones writing to me is that they go through all this effort to set up this simulation, like you said, well, with the melons on the cart and like scaled for speed and all this sort of stuff, Booth makes the shot there is this triumphant music indicating that they have accomplished something.

The triumphant music indicating that the Warren Commission was right. I had a note here because I did not catch the part about them trying to make the shots like so close together. I had written here, does anybody else get what this is meant to be proving? It couldn't be that Oswald could have made the shot because Booth is about seven meters away and in doors. Yeah. It's almost like, yeah, it's a Kuta Grah shot. It's like what Booth would have done to a, let's say, a POW in Afghanistan and then pose her a picture after. Yeah. That's about the distance he did was when he pulled the trigger.

So Booth says, case closed, Oswald could have made the shot, and Hodgson says, Booth, Oswald was a lousy shot. You're one of the best, again, which we have just learned in this episode. And they say, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus thus thus thus thus thus, thus, thus, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, thus thus, thus, it's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. the. the. th you know, with none of the assassin, none of the nerves that a real assassin would experience in a lab, no wind, no distraction, you're only aiming at fruit, not a president. So they set this entire fucking thing up, do the shot, and then they say, yeah, that doesn't prove anything. After, by the way, after discharging a rifle twice in like very close, very close space, very dangerously, and then also without the approval of the Secret Service.

Which again does not cause the Secret Service to shoot him to death. It's just like I like the idea that like the Secret Service agents, what they're really touchy about is making jokes about like Reagan or the shoot incident. And what they're not touchy about it all is just firing guns, like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a.a.a.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A. And, the.A. And, the.A.A. the. the. guns like randomly or sort of like catching them off guard in a closed area. That's sort of like, that's the thing I would think that they'd be a little bit more I don't know, yeah, trained to react to. Well, it turns out that in the writing of this show, the way to get around the extremely restrictive requirements that the Secret Services put on the the th, I the the th, th, the th, th, th, the the th, th, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, I their, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi's, thi's, thin, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's thi's thi, thi on them was simply to say to them, no, this is what we normally do. And then they go, oh, in that case, go ahead. Here, have my gun.

What I want to mark here as well, right? They did the classic bones thing of setting it up and then say, oh well, of course, this couldn't possibly be it, just sort of wasting everyone's time. But the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact that they still put the triumphal music in before they were like, oh yeah, no, that's bullshit, sorry. And then they follow the song. The triumphal music is supposed to underscore what you, the viewer are seeing as a perfect recreation of John F. Kennedy's skull getting ripped apart by a rifle bullet. Yeah. And the government being not lying. It's everyone's on the government being not lying. You know? It's everyone's on the, all the watchers of Bones in 2010.

Like I said, they're on the edge of their seat, seeing if the Warren Commission will be, you know, vindicated. So, so we set all that shit up, we do it all, then we instantly dismiss it. And then we follow that with a conclusion. Again, classic Bones style. Bones looks at the skull and says, there is a simple entry wound here. If you look closer, there are microfractures radiating from the exit wound, which suggests it wasn't an exit, but an entrance.

If this is another entry from a completely different angle, logically there was a second gunman. So I'm glad that they Institute, set up a fucking simulation of a presidential assassination, fire off a rifle indoors without permission from the Secret Service, before looking at the skull one time. Yeah, so they would seem to have forensically deduced that there was no way, it was at the very least, there was a second shooter and that Oswald did not act alone. Then, just as quickly as they introduced that, they dismiss it just like a 30 seconds later with a test involving two giant tubs of chocolate pudding in which bones

just like puts the arm bones from the skeletons in a vat of pudding and one of them sinks because it had severe osteoporosis which Kennedy was never diagnosed with determining that the skeleton that they were looking at was not John F. Kennedy but then they you know walk that back as well as it by giving some like you know some sort of the fig leaf of like, oh, well, actually Kennedy had scarlet fever as a boy in late life, it actually, one in a hundred cases does lead to osteoporosis.

So, or like, if the government were dealing with, they could have just switched out the arm bones on the fucking skeleton that they just... At one point in the episode, I think Dr. Bones or one of the head of the lab, I fucking forget who, tells the Secret Service agent, that's what you don't understand about us. We don't do half truths here. So after like, uh, intradit, like going back about three times on was Kennedy killed by conspiracy or a lone gunman, what they resolved they they they end is like it doesn't really matter as long as he preserved the feelings of our friend. Yeah, and that's what it's all about. As long as we preserve the feelings of our friend as well, again, related to a campaign of bloody imperial murder.

Yeah. We did, we did, we just, yeah, let's just cover up the Kennedy assassination yet again to save the feelings of some fucking moron sniper who's our buddy. Yeah. Well, now there's a few great insights into Booth's psychology here. I have to read a few lines of this dialogue because I love him so much. Booth says, if he was killed by two gunmen, then that means the government lied and they covered it up. And Bones says, throughout history, governments have their their their their their their their their the government lied and they covered it up. And Bones says, throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a famous assassin, John Wilkes Booth, who killed President Lincoln?

And he jumps out of his chair and says, you promised you'd never mentioned that. But why mention it to her the first way? I'm going to tell you something that you can never repeat, even to me. Oh my God. This gave me the tantalizing thought. I mean, it's pretty much canon on this podcast that the writers of Bones do not consider anything that has happened before or anything that might happen in the future, they write solely in the present, you know. But it really did make me wonder when they named this character Booth was somebody like, at some point we're going to reveal that he's related to John Wilkes Booth.

Or after several seasons did somebody just go, you know what we could do? Yeah. We could just make on the table here. We could just make this, make him a top flight sniper who is also related to John Wilkes Booth. Which is funny because John Wilkes wasn't a sniper at all, famously. I mean, there is no- You just plugged in point blank in the back of the head. If anything, the recreation of the Kennedy assassination was much more in keeping with Booth's ancestry than with the project they were actually taken.

Yeah. I mean, the thought, I mean, the thought I had at the end of the show is that I was really hoping that they would come up with something like truly fucking bird-brained, like determining that it was actually like an embolism killed, the bullet, tore thr-anded, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, bullet tore through his fucking skull, that would have been fucking hilarious and awesome and actually kind of clever. But then I was thinking, can you fucking imagine like how offensive this episode would be if it was the body of Martin Luther King Jr. instead of John F. Kennedy, which by the way is another very, very, you know, like there's probably more evidence that that was a

conspiracy than the JFK assassination but it's much less talked about but could you imagine if they tried to deal with that subject matter in the in the funny, high-jinksy way that Bones was, you know, I guess is the bone style? Where like at the end of it, they determined that the FBI for sure and the Memphis Police Department like for sure persiscibated to cover up and like James O'Rea wasn't even in the fucking state at the time it happened or something like that and then like the the teenage grooming victim will just say something like that was totally ninja at the end of it. If it was if it was this show Booth would bring that body in himself and say we need to prove that th th th th th th th th to prove th th th th th th to prove th th th th th to prove th th th th th th th to prove th th the the the to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. te. te. te. te. the. the. the the th and say, we need to prove that this person shot themselves. He would just like he would just like he would get his like Kwisats Hadarack FBI instincts would just set in and he would start like trying to just planting a gun on the

skeleton great. Yeah. So basically like we said we've we've rounded everything out by determining that the most important thing that could possibly consider when talking about this event that changed the course of history is Booth's feelings. There is this exchange a bit earlier on where they say, you don't understand, Booth is a very patriotic man. He believes this is the greatest country ever. And Sweet says, it's naive to think that a country, the size and influence of the US,

doesn't pursue secret agendas. Cam says the Kennedy assassination wasn't a secret agenda. It was a black stain, a dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot for his country? And that's when they revealed that he has fucking killed 50 people. Nice round number. Yeah. It was he trusted that it was right.

And who did he trust? The US government has never lied about anything. So it's more important to just say, nope, they've never lied. The US government has never lied about anything. That's right. And they really did, I agree that they really, really wrap this up in the most cowardly way that they possibly could, which is to say, hey it is JFK except that it's not, except it might be. Yes, yes. And the little wink at the end, where Cam says, oh, he had scarlet fever and that can cause

that and Bones gives a very knowing look and says it's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy, causing Cam to say, I will never forget what you did for him. So basically it fucking was JFK. They established that it was multiple. Cam to say, I will never forget what you did for him. So basically it fucking was JFK. They established that it was multiple shooters, but no one wants Booth to feel bad about all the people that he murdered for the American government. It just makes me wish that this show is still running so that the agent White could wheel in another skeleton and be like, this is a male victim of suicide by hanging,

but his hyenoid bone was broken. Can you come up with the convincing narrative about this, please? Come on. Booth loves the filmography of Chris Tucker. If he realized it. Yeah, if he can't watch Rush Hour anymore. You don't know what that'll do to him. He modeled his career on Detective James Carter.

Andrew, you need to get this Airbnb video story. Yes, absolutely. Your ability to pull facts about the popular films of the last 30 years is astonishing. Oh boy. And there is an illusion both throughout the episode and at the very end, their 30 years is astonishing. Oh boy. And there is an illusion both throughout the episode and at the very end when they're all sitting in the stupid diner they go to. They're all sort of speculating what this was all really about, especially if it wasn't JFK, which it might be.

They, you know, they're like, what if this was some kind of test for us to see if we can solve a thing or run a lab or whatever the fuck? And there is also the speculation. What if they're actually looking to exhum Kennedy's body and try to figure out what really happened, but they want to see if it can be solved? And now that they've solved it, they're going to put it back in and say, don't look into that. So, so the very end of the show, as they walk off down the street, the camera pans over to a TV which is pointed outwards of a window. It doesn't even seem like it's a TV store or anything.

It's just a fucking TV in a shop window, pointed outwards with the news. And the banner at the bottom reads, Breaking News, Congressional Committee denied a motion to exhum President John F. Kennedy citing, quote, respect for the family. So that's what it's about. So the lesson of this show is, have a little respect. Yeah. You know? It is, the government is involved in doing cover-ups and committing atrocities and all kinds of stuff and be fine with it. The government is involved in all types of atrocities and cover-ups, but it's kind of classless

to talk about it. You know? It's not very polite. Yeah. I interpreted the end of this episode where they try to, they try to figure out, you know, what, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. And, toeeeeea.. And, togeeeea, thi. And, togeeea, thi, toge. And, thoe. And, the end of this episode, where they try to figure out what we learned. What is this really all about? Is the bird brain totally literal ending of burn after reading if that movie didn't have an ounce of self-awareness, where they're just like, what do we learn?

Nothing? What do we do with the body? Burn it? I don't give a fuck. Nothing matters. Yeah. So I guess what so in conclusion, thank you for coming to our Airbnb video store. You should do not rent the season five of Bones if you're into Kennedy. Please just watch the Oliver Stone film. Yes, please watch Oliver Stones, JFK. Instead of this, you've come to the last existing blockbuster and you're going to be, this is a boutique experience, it's a curated affair.

You can't just choose to watch Bones about the JFK when you could have a much more learned source of information about this pivotal moment in American history from Oliver Stone. That's right. And we've taken, and this is why, You come in to the Bend, Airbnb, Bend, and Airbnb present Blockbuster, and the three clerks of the store will talk to you for an hour and a half if you do not make the right choice. It's like that damn sausage merchant in Australia. So here's the thing, that's going to be me. The interstitial elements, the before, the beginning matter and end matter of this podcast has better narrative coherence than bones.

We have brought more threads together than this show ever does. And you know what? That would only be possible on the showrunner's app. Absolutely. That's right. Well, we'll thank you so much for coming and joining us. Thank you for your time. Thank you very much. This has been great. Oh yeah, this is a blast. I want to thank both of you guys for sort of introducing me to initiating me in the mysteries of Bones. I will never watch it again. That's right.

You've done your time. Yeah. You've got that beautiful glimpse into the into 2009 post Iraq. I watch 50 episodes at the show Bones for the US. th th th of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of th th th th th of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th of of of of of of of of of of both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of both of of of of th th th of both th of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. you you you guys thi. thi. thi. thi. into 2009 post-Iraq. I watched 50 episodes of the show Bones for the US government. Yeah, whereas unfortunately, Andrew and I stole that mysterious old woman's jar of water she was taking from a well, and so now we have to watch the entirety of season 5. We've been cursed to watch 22 episodes of Bines. Good luck gentlemen. Thank you again. Is there anything you would like to plug? Yeah. Chopo trop house check it out. Yeah. Hey I've heard of that show. All right. Well that's it from us and we will see you next time. Bye-bye. See you. Cheers guys.