Boozy Bookgasms - Fairy Smut Episode 1: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Turn on the twinkle lights and pour yourself some Under the Mountain Jiggle Juice, we are kicking off our ACOTAR series!  Cocktail: Under the Mountain Jiggle Juice (Tamlin Namby Pamby) Ingredients: 2 oz Moscato, 1 oz Vodka, a splash of cranberry juice and iridescent cocktail sparkle. Mix and serve over ice! 

Buckle of Clitterature Fans. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride. Hello, Clitterature fans. This is Jen, and I want to be the first to welcome you to the fairy smut episodes.

Don't worry, Kim Lynn and I will be returning soon with season two of boozy bookgasms. But while we catch up on our reading, please enjoy what I'm hoping will feel like a magical experience where we will do a full series breakdown of a court of thorns and roses. I've invited two fairy smut connoisseurs to join me as we break down the Akatar series by Sarah Maas. Let me introduce you to my co-host for this series. Hello Ladies. Hi, I'm Amy. Hi, I'm Jenny. Welcome. I'm so excited to do this with you both. But before we dive in, you know we open every episode with a cocktail. So what are we drinking tonight, ladies? Oh, my gosh. This is a good one, you guys. So this is in true Akitar fashion. And we're going to get to this. But when,

when we're under the mountain and Fyra likes to hit that fairy wine, I was kind of oscillated between under the mountain jiggle juice or Tamlin Nambi Pambi. Because, you know, he's such a Nambi, Pambi under the mountain. Anyway, so it's two ounces of moscato. One. ounce of vodka. We get a splash of cranberry juice and then we have the iridescent cocktail sparkle or we call it the luster dust and we serve it over ass cubes to cut the sweetness. I'm sorry, it's a little sweet, but loving the theme. So I wanted to note before we start that we're all in different spots with this series. And so I am very new to Romanticy, if you will. And so this is my first time to read the series. And I'm going in. I kind of raw dogging the series. I didn't do any

like research on it. And I'm only reading the book we're discussing. So I have only read book one. And then the two of you are where in the series? So Jenny here and I am in the middle of book three. Okay. So it's been, it's Amy that has been the bad influence on both of us to get into this. I know. Like when are you guys getting into Akitar? Really. Okay. So. So this is AIM here and I finish the series and I am on to my next very smuts series, but more to come there. Oh, boy. All right. Well, thank you.

I will say I have enjoyed the journey so far. And Lynn may join us because she has actually read the series three times. Really? Yes. When I told her we were doing this project, she was like, oh my gosh. Like it's my thing. So we'll see if she's able to join us. I will get us started.

We start in chapter one. So the setting, I will say, like the landscape feels a little medieval times theme park slash hunger games. Like, that's kind of what I'm envisioning. Our female main character's name is Farah. And she is hunting in the woods. It's been a long cold winter. They're all kind of starving. And she's out there just hoping to see some game.

And she spots a deer, which is a really big deal. This will feed her family for two weeks. She can sell the fur at the market. it like she's got her bow and arrow aimed to shoot this deer, but suddenly a giant wolf comes up. It looks bigger than a normal wolf. It looks a little different. She's halfway wondering if it's a fairy at this point. We don't really know what that means what she says that.

But she has a special arrow that's made of ash, which kills fairies. So just in case, right as the wolf kills the deer, she kills the wolf. And she gets like a twofer on this stick. She gets the fur from the wolf, the fur from the wolf, the fur from the deer and that she can't carry both animals home, but she carries the deer home in the wolf's fur. But as the wolf is dying and this part's interesting, it kind of looks at her like in defeat or almost relief. Like it's got a really interesting look about it. But she doesn't have There's a reason for that. Yeah. Yeah. Like she can't dilly deli and think about it too much because it's

cold and she's got to get out of there. So she skins the wolf. I think I mentioned that. So she gets home and this is where we meet the family. And I was going to ask our Akitar connoisseur to kind of talk about the family members because I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling they play a larger part in the series. And this book, not so much. And my first impression was they were a bunch of assholes, quite frankly, and didn't appreciate her very much. They're the worst. But Amy, why don't you tell us who were meeting in the family and, you know, a little bit of their backstory? Yeah, when I first started the series, and I was reading this book. I'm like, who are these bitches, right?

So like, here's Nesta who just sneers at her on a good day and insults her. And here's Elaine that is just sitting there kind of like being like, oh, I'm so sweet for everybody. And neither of them are useful at all. They make her go out and hunt. They make her chop the wood. When she actually goes into market, which we'll get to in a second, they're following hers so they can like make sure that she gives them the money. I mean, ungrateful.

Yes, later in the series. they have a little bit more character development, but we get there, we get to the cabin, and Nesta's a complete bitch to her. She kicks off her boots and none of the wood is cut, and Nesta's like, what do you bring home? And she is just completely nasty to her, and she just lays it all on the table, and she has to clean it. I think her dad notices that something is off, right? So, father, I don't, I don't think we even really know his name, but father is like, and let's backstory on father. He was rich in their day, and he was kind of a merchant, and he got into some bad debt after the mom died. He was attacked by people collecting on his debt, and he's been absolutely freaking useless ever since.

Later in the series, as we'll get into it, he does have a redemption arc. But for right now, he has really done nothing for his daughters to support them. It's really everything lies on Farah. But he looks at her, and he's like, where did you get this? And he almost knows that something is a miss too, but he's not saying it either. She's basically saying to the family, if it weren't for me, you guys would all starve. Well, and I thought it was interesting too. He had paid with what very little money they had.

He had paid someone to etch these drawings around their doorframe to keep fairies out. So we're like learning in this moment, fairies are scary. Oh, there's a hatred of hatred. Yeah. Like they're not good people. they're kind of scary and the people in this village are terrified of them. Well, they're just coming off of a war. So between the fairies and the humans. So yeah, there's a there's a little bit of history. That is interesting. Okay. So basically, like you said,

they go to the market the next day and she finds a mercantile and sells her wolf for like three times the price that she thinks she's going to get for it. And she just thought it was like, you know, stroke of good luck. Like you said, the sisters are kind of trailing after her and she gives them some money. And then she runs off with a like her fuck buddy from what I can tell. She runs off to have sex in a barn. And he is an NPC. He is a non-playable character right there, that poor guy. Yeah. He's getting some. He's fine. So later that night. They're all at home and a beast storms into the house demanding to know who killed the wolf. And Favor realizes in this moment, oh shit, that was a fairy I killed. Oops.

You know, and so my bad. The sisters and the dad are like cowering in the corner, which is pretty despicable, especially the dad. Yeah, I mean, he kind of alligator arms like, sure, it was me that killed the wolf, but you, it's clearly he's lying, you know, and Farah's, he knows she's not going to let him take the wrap. So she basically just says, can you just take me outside and make it quick? I mean, this girl has got balls. Like, it is pretty impressive. And the Beast says, well, yeah, I have another option for you.

I can take you outside and shred you to ribbons or you can come to Fairyland with me and live there for the rest of your life. And she says, well, when do we leave? well because basically according to the treaty which is why he came it's a life for a life right so she's thinking okay go ahead you know take me outside how about that and he really actually is being merciful and is going to like give her an option to take her away so she said okay when do I go when do I pack when I pack nothing yeah and then she is with us the goodbye to her family is just pathetic. Like, I mean, I didn't feel a lot of love in these moments. Now, Amy, because you don't like to fly, I'm guessing that this travel experience is right up here,

because basically he puts her to sleep for the entire journey and then she wakes up and they're there. I love that. I love that. I mean, I would love to go to sleep and then wake up in Aruba. I mean, that was my way to travel. You're not even on airplane. You're on horse. I mean, It was great. She was annoying. Good Valium can do that though. Yeah, I know. He did her a favor, even though she didn't appreciate it. So they get to Fairyland, which is also called Prithian. And it's a beautiful paradise. Like it's spring, there's flowers, it's vibrant colors, which is a stark contrast to the winter. She just left behind. And they get to the mansion where she's going to be living. And he's still in beast form. So it's feeling a little beauty in the beastish, you know, especially when they walk in. and there's like a giant feast laid out for them.

And he plops down at the head of the table. And then he turns into a hottie, like a guy with long flowing blonde hair. And I'm like, finally, hot guys. Like, here's what we came for. Right. So the fairy that kidnapped her, his name is Tamlin. And he's a high fay, which, which is kind of like fairy royalty is what we're kind of trying to figure out here.

But the wolf she killed is his best friend is what he's telling her. and his name was Andreas. Eventually, Tamlin's joined by his one-eyed best friend, Lucian, who's a ginger. He's kind of a love gingers, especially gingers with long flowing hair. Long-flowing ginger luck and one eye. Amy's like, sign me up. Sign me up. I would almost argue that Farah and Lucian, I was wondering at the beginning of this,

if they were going to be the love match because their chemistry was the ones that, what that was jumping out at me at first. Yeah, because he's, he's, he's a grumpy sunshine. Like he's like kind of growly towards her, but he intolerates her and she feels more comfortable with him. Well, yeah. And she's like, she's such a bitch to them at first.

So it's like, I like Lucian for putting her in her place at first. It was ridiculous. Like she was so insufferable. So it's okay. So she won't, she won't eat the food because at first she says it's because she thinks it's poisoned, which is stupid. And then Tamling gets annoyed with her and he's like, you know what? You need a bath anyway.

So you stamped. You smell like grouper. Onions. Get out of here. So she goes up to her quarters, which are incredible. And she has her own personal maid named Alice. So she takes a bath and cleans up. And Alice lays out this beautiful gown for her to wear.

And she's like, I want my pants back. And so Alice tried to wash them like she did her best, but they were rags. Give me back my trousers. she brings it back in and they're all in shreds. Like that clearly these clothing has been hold together by mud. They like compromise and they bring her tunic and some like men's pants. And so she goes back downstairs and the guys are still hanging out at the table. And she's still kind of like whining like, oh, I don't want to eat the food. And now her reason is because her family's starving and how could she possibly eat this food. And you know, they're just like rolling their

So Tamlin kind of like uses his mental powers to basically tie her to the chair and makes her a plate of food and tells her like, this is a big deal that I'm serving you. And then he tries to give her compliments and he says, you look, you know, better than before. Wow, thanks. That's just like when our husbands tell us, you look nice. Yeah. Oh, there are nice. Thanks. Thanks.

And then he says your hair's clean. clean. He's got no game. And like Lucian's like rolling his eyes like, dude, you got to work on that. But Lucian actually did tell him. He's like, dude, it's been like 50 years since you've actually hit on a girl. We can tell. You're off your game, but my friends. So he tells her to shut up because he took care of her family. He's not going to leave them high and dry. He knows she was taking care of them. They will, they're eating just fine. Just shut up. and she finally does. Thank God. It was really getting ridiculous. She's withering away. Then here's a couple things about her captivity that I thought we should point out. They all tell her she's not under house arrest. She can go wherever she wants. And so this is why I'm like, why is she, you know, why is she complaining so much? It's pretty nice here, right? Yeah. And then all the fairies are wearing masks, the ones that

she's meeting. So Tamun does tell her there was a sickness in fairyland that weakened their magic. And all the spring court was cursed during a masquerade ball, 49 years ago, so they can't take these masks off. But he doesn't give her a ton of detail behind it. But he does say the reason he sent his best friend into the woods was to find a cure for the sickness. And she feels really, really bad about killing the fairy. But she doesn't say it. She's still being a bitch about it. Yeah. She's really not a very nice house. Sorry, not sorry. It's like, why don't you just tell him that you're sorry? Yeah, because we get there, but like, waiting for that. Yeah. Yeah. To hear that. So the next day, she goes horseback riding with Lucian. And he's, again, he's kind of tolerating her, but he's kind of grumpy about it. Her main reason for being there is she wants him to talk Tamlin and to letting her go home. So please make me go back to that hovel where we were all starving to death. I want to leave the feasts and the hot guys that are hitting on me and the beautiful room and all the nice clothes. I would like to go back when. My family treats me like shit and we don't have any food and we're in poverty. And Lucian says too bad.

A treaty is a treaty. Like, you know, it ain't going to happen. So stop asking. So she kind of gives up. But while they're out there, a series of fairy monsters like start going after. We start seeing these like fairy monsters. And while she's out with Lucian, the one that comes after them is called the bog. And it's like a dark fairy magic that talks to you.

And it's a bad deal. But they're able to escape. They don't kill the. When they get back, they tell Tamlin, and he's the only one strong enough to kill the bog. So he goes out bog hunting. While he's out, she gets tricked. Another fairy monster comes along called Apuka who looks just like her. Sounds so cute, though.

I know. I'm picturing like, you know, I don't know, the Pokemon, you know. I know. It's like behind the gate going, hello. I know. I thought you. I really found you. Yay.

But this is kind of sad. because she, she does think her dad came to get her. And we all kind of know, like, there's no way that man's going to do that, like, because he was kind of, you know, a wuss. She does follow the puka. And like the puka's trying to lure her out of the spring court so they can, I think they want to eat her or something. But they all want to eat her.

Yeah. So Tamlin saves her and tells her, you know, what the hell are you thinking? And she says, I just want to go home. And he's like, why? Kind of like what we're wondering. Like, yeah. What? You know?

like your family's better off without you there. Like, why are you trying to leave so badly? I don't know that she's even reconciled that. Except maybe if you're, I don't know, she got kidnapped up. Well, she made a promise to her mom. Oh,

that's right. To her mom. Her mom that was the mega bitch. It's like, really? Like, yeah, she was a queen bitch. And like,

she's like the evil mom and like Nesta is her spawn. And Elaine's just there. She's just glad to be there. But the mom. Um, died of typhus and so wanted her no pressure or anything, but Farah, will you just take care of the whole family? All right. Osta, Le vista. Yeah. Like on my death. I'm going to ask you and you and you not your father, but would you please? Yeah, not your father, not your good for nothing father, not you're good for nothing sisters, but you have the sole pressure of taking care of all of this

family when I go, okay, peace. When they don't give two shits about you, it's just like, okay. But she can't seem to escape that it's like it she keeps coming back to that it almost gets tiresome like he's a whiner yeah she is and i mean look clearly she's new to romance novels but here's how it works if your kidnappers hot it's okay to sleep with him like i mean right away you stock syndrome is okay there's nothing wrong with stockholm syndrome sometimes don't fight it phara don't well especially they're feeding you when you're when you're famished so okay Okay. So Tamlin finally, he's been out bog hunting. He's been gone a couple nights. He finally kills the bog, but he comes back injured. And Farah is she is starting to warm up to him because he keeps reassuring her. Her family's fine. You actually did right by your mother because I came along and they're taken care of. So while you're here, they're in better shape than if you were there. Then she's trying to fix his wounds and he realizes then that she can't read or write. He offers to help her. She gets embarrassed and runs off. But he's crushing on her. Clearly. like Tamlin's got a thing for her.

She's not picking up what he's putting down. I don't know how not because he's pretty open about it. But a few days later, she risks her life once again to ensnare a serial. So I'm hoping you guys can help me with us because I'm, you know, virgin reader to the Akatar series. But as far as I could tell, the serial is a fairy that has to tell the truth. Right. Right.

Okay. So if you ensnare it, it has to tell you the truth. Yeah. So a surreal is one of the most ancient fair. So she's talking to the surreal and she's asking, who are you? And she is like, I'm older than all of the fairies. I'm older than Prithian. I'm older than all of the bones in Prithian.

So it's a very ancient being. And if you ensnare a serial, then you can ask the questions and they will answer. It was kind of. Seriously. But like, yeah, like, but she tells Lucian in not so many words, like, this is what I'm going to do today. and he says, Here's a knife.

Yeah. I'll show you how to do it. He almost sends her on a suicide mission. Like he sends her out there knowing that's what she's going to do and knowing she's likely going to fail. But he's like, you know, I don't know. I'll be in the woods. If you scream, I'll hear you maybe. You did say that.

Yeah, but I'll give it a couple of seconds when I after I hear you scream and kind of like think about, well, do I help her or not? You know, what an asshole. She does ensnare the cereal, which we find out later is a pretty big deal. And she asks questions about Tamlin. Like that's what she uses her questions for. But she finds out like they've been cursed and that's why the mask, she's starting to understand that there's more to the story than what Tamlin has told her. But before she can really get the juice, they get attacked by the bad fairies again. So she frees the cereal, which I thought was really nice of her.

And she's. It'll come back later. Yeah. So she starts running. Tamlin has to save her once again. Well, Tamlin's always saved. You know, it's like, she gets herself enough in a bind and she just proves, proves that she's just tough enough.

But like, she can't finish the job. She always has to have somebody just, like, help her out. But, you know, so the surreal did say, though, like, the big piece of information was that revealed Tamlin was a high lord. which she did not. Oh, that's true. Yeah. And that all the high lords are under, under the light. Yeah. But also to stay with him, too. Stay with Tamlin.

Well, the surreal said stay with the high lord. But now we know like, you know, foreshadowing, you know, Tamlin's not the only high lord. We think. Yep. Yeah. I'm picking up what you're laying down. I'm, okay. I don't want to give spoilers because you're still a virgin, Miss Jen. I've only had the one, you know. So she starts coming around and, you know, her and Tamlin starts spending more time together.

She tells him that she likes to paint and he takes her to this like beautiful magic meadow. Oh, God, she likes to paint. She likes to paint. I'm sorry. You guys, how many times did they refer to how much? much she likes to paint. I get it. We get it. She just, I can't take out the house with like stick figures on the furniture.

I know, right? You weren't like Picasso. I'm picturing these paintings and how much she's talking about paintings. And I think in later, in the later series, like, we learn that she's probably better than we're learning right now. But I'm like, why do they keep referring to her painting? Like, I'm not picturing anybody super, super talented here. I'm just picturing some whirly flowers and some stars. And I just got a little tired of like all of the painting references. Yeah. Yeah. It was just getting to be much. Okay. Carry on. So he buys her some things. And he gives her her her own little room. And he does actually have this like art gallery as part of his mansion. So he has it all cleaned up. And then she goes through the art gallery. It brings her to tears like she's so moved by the art. So that was really special.

Upcoming, we have the Kalin Mai ceremony. And as far as I can tell, this is a ceremony where Tamlin needs to have sex with a maiden to enhance his magic. Like, that's really the just. I think it's to like something. Let me know. But that's, he goes out and needs to spread his seed to the world to. I know because his seed makes all of the earth grow, like the vegetation grow, I guess. Right? Because it's spring. It's the spring. It's like kind of the rebirth. Everything grows including Tamplin, right? So I guess that's how it works. So yeah. So he's telling her like, do not leave your room. Do not look outside the window, borrow the door. If I come knocking, don't answer. Yeah. But he doesn't tell her why. He doesn't say because I'm going to be feral. I might I might come in and like take advantage. It ain't going to be good for you, favorite.

Because she doesn't have the full story, of course, she goes to the party because she's like, she's got pomo, you know? Yeah, for sure. Who wouldn't? Yeah. I mean, she's hearing the drums. She's going out. Yeah. There's music.

Like, why can't I go? So she goes. If these drums are rocking, I'm going to come and knocking. She's, she's, you know, trying to put a cloak on. She's trying to, like, keep her cover. But whatever, like, she knows. They sniff her out real fast. In fact, these sleazy fairies, which we didn't.

didn't know there were any until now. Like there's some sleazy fairies find her and they try to shove her into the woods and it looks like they're going to attack her. And this is where we meet Resent. Am I saying the most, yeah, the most beautiful man she's ever seen. She does say it that way. She has. Violet eyes and like black hair. He just sounds beautiful. And as I'm finding, because this is such a cult following, there is so much fan. There is so much fan. art. Like, I'm not even looking for this stuff. Like, it finds me. And this man is beautiful. So beautiful. The CIA version that I think of him is breathtaking. So he saves her from the Sleazy Farrick. But she's unsettled after meeting him and that she doesn't know why. And then Lucian finds her.

I was like, oh, my God, what the hell are you doing out here? If he smells your scent like you're a goner and he makes him a bitch. I do, I do feel bad for Lucian because he has. to take care of like, like, he has to be the one that is always taking care of Fahara. Like, yeah, right? Like at this, at this party and then again, at summer solstice, like, he's the one that has to take the drunk bitch home, you know. I know. She does get stuck with her a lot.

Yeah. It is kind of like an annoying little sister, sort of. So he tells her, go lock yourself in the room. I'm serious. Like, you're, you know, this is dangerous for you. So, of course, she doesn't listen. She wanders around the house. She paints a little.

So then Tamlin finds her and gives her a hicky. And that's like, I'm like, that's the worst thing that's going to happen to you. You got a hicky? Like, okay. Yeah, getting a little nibble, like a little vampire. Okay. That's cool. You know, I mentioned that.

Well, he tells her like, I smelled you. I smelled you at Kalamai. I couldn't find you. So, but he does also admit that he had sex with someone else. Like he had to have because, you know, I spit a seed. Yeah. Well, yeah. The ritual is that.

There's all these fairies that are lined up to like just they're all pick me girls and they're just like lined up in front of the cave ready for him to just kind of walk and just like pick whoever. We find out later who he picks, but we're not divulging that here. But you, that's gross. So he's actually looking for Farah because he smells her and that's who he really wants. But, you know, he's getting sloppy seconds. Yeah, she got the sloppy seconds. He already did the deed. He already spread a seed to someone else.

That poor guy was at the bar at like 2 a.m. And then the lights came on. He's like, fuck. This is what I ended up with? She's a bug team. Yeah, it's not good. So as the weeks go on, they're getting closer. Really bad things are happening in Fairyland.

And it culminates when Resan comes to their home and he's in a rage. And they try to hide Fahara, but they can't. And he threatens her. They keep calling him Amaranthus whore. We don't really know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. And she doesn't either. Yeah. But Amarantha sounds scary. And we know there's a woman that they're all scared of. And we kind of figure out in this moment that that's probably who it is. So Risen corners Fahara and asks her what her name is. And she wants to protect her family. And she gives him the first name she can think of, which is a random girl from their village named Claire Betters. That night, Tamlin tells Farah she has to go home. And after months of bitching about being there, now she's sad that he's

going to make her leave. How long do I have to leave for a week? A month? Why are you making it leave? I like, you're free now, girl. Treaty be damned. Like, you're free. Like, go. Like, this is what you wanted. But of course, now she's not happy. They do have sex. So this is, now this is, I'm going to call this a slow burn. Very little payoff, by the way. Right. First time they have sex. And there's not a lot of detail.

It's just like we had sex. And then the next. I want to know, like I don't want to know that you growled into her mouth. Oh my God. This guy growls all the time. Stop fucking growl. Oh, well, you know, he growls a lot. He growls a lot.

Once or twice. That would be fine. But it's like, okay, eighth time I'm like, come on. I just want to know about like, like. how big are you right like which we don't get that those we don't we don't we don't get the details no the foreplay isn't there like the makeout is really all we get for the sex in this book but i hear the next book is it gets better it gets better okay yeah but i did i did like this book but i was hoping for a little more spice it's like 0.25 spice this is this is a bookgasm that just

didn't deliver you know what i mean Like a mini, like a minor book as them. You're like, you never get to. Yeah. It's like a sneeze that you can't like actually fulfill. You're thinking like, I'm going to sneeze. I'm going to sneeze. Oh.

I know. So the next morning Tamlin puts her in a carriage. He dolls her up in the latest human fashions and is planning to send her back and he tells her in this moment that he loves her. And she doesn't say it back. She wants to. That's a big deal. For whatever reason, she can't.

She just doesn't. And he doesn't push it and she leaves in her carriage and goes home. So back to the village. And now we went from Hunger Games to Bridgeton all the sudden because now the family is living in this massive estate. The sisters are dressed in the highest fashion. But they've all been glamored, which is like a magic spell that Tamlin put on them to think she's been taking care of a long lost aunt. And so as she comes back on the carriage, she's also got like a trunk full of jewels and money. And I mean, they just have riches upon riches.

They'll never have to worry about money again. But Nesta seems a little off. She seems a little off. She's like, something's not jive in. I don't understand why are you coming back? Where were you? For as bitchy as she was, she's kind of astute. Yeah.

Yes. The other sister, Elaine, is that her name? Doesn't care. Elaine. Yeah. Elaine. She just wants to plant flowers in a garden. She's like, live her best life. She's like loving, loving this whole Bridgeton thing. So she wants to throw a ball in Fara's honor, which they do. But before the ball, nest a corner's Fara and is like, listen, that glamoring didn't work on me. I'm on to you. I know you weren't with some aunt. Like, and we find out that she went to look for her and she found out the truth. So Fara tells her everything. Yeah. So they have the ball and it's great. And then the next. morning, they're at breakfast, just kind of rehashing the night as one does after a great party. And it comes up that the better's family house burned down and they couldn't find Claire's

body. So this is the girl whose name she gave to Resant when he asked her what her name was. So now this family's been destroyed and the daughter's seemingly been kidnapped or worse. So Farah feels horrible. Definitely worse. Yeah. Yeah, way worse. So Farah feels awful. and decides, I better get back to the land of the fairies. And that was a look. She just hops back in the carriage and goes back and gets in pretty easily, I have to say. And so next thing we know, she's at Tamlin's house and it's empty.

There's nobody there. It's clear that there's been a disruption, like things are knocked over. And she's just scouring the house looking for anybody. And this is when she bumps into Alice. And Alice looks different. I forgot to mention that when when she first got to the mansion, Alice looked like a regular chambermaid. And later in the book, Alice starts looking, does she have tree bark for ours? Right. So here's what happened with that. So when Tamlin took Farah to a meadow and Tamlin was listening to the Willow singing. And Farah was like, I can't hear anything. And so he said, if you give me a kiss, I will remove the glamour that I have.

on you. So she gives him a quick kiss on the hand, whatever. Yeah, of course, Fyra, God, insufferable. But he removes the glamour and like all these secrets start coming out. So she sees him and he looks like completely high, fay, glowing, everything. But all the other fairies look different too, including Alice. So Alice looked normal to her because they had her glamored when she first came to the spring court. But she actually looks like she has like tree bark. She's kind of like a lower ferry or whatever. And not only that, but throughout all this time, Farah's trying to escape and there's nobody around and she can't see anybody.

But apparently, that's right. Everyone's like, I see you. I see you. She's like, she's like 20 fucking fairies. And they're like, oh, bless your heart. She got her little hood on. But they're all there. They're all there.

So once everything is removed, she sees all these fairies. And then she gets humiliated because she was trying to sneak through, like sneak past like 25 fairies. And they're like, aw. Oh. Nice try, baby cakes. You're so cute. But obviously, Farah's like, what the hell is going on? I asked Jenny if she could put together kind of a recap of what happened and where we are in this moment.

So we are introduced to Amarantha. This is when, you know, Alice tells her it's not actually a blight. It's much more serious than that. And Amy was talking about pick me girls. Amarantha is the ultimate pick me girl. She is one that you. I can I just say, I didn't know what that term was until I had a 16 year old. Oh yeah. We all have 16 year olds, by the way. And now I'm like, that's horrible. It's horrible. So. Amarantha has, she was very good friends with Tamlin's father. And so there's a whole history there that's going to come out. So Amarantha has been wanting Tamlin for over a hundred years. But because she's so sadistic, he's kept refusing. Lucian was sent to try to be the emissary to try to keep the peace between them. I guess he insulted her.

And so she just plucked out his eye. He told her to go back to the shithole that she belonged. Oh, yeah, that wasn't smart move. Not a smart move. Knowing what we know about her now. She hosted a masquerade under the mountain to apologize for what she did to Lucian. But the interesting thing is that when she hosted this masquerade ball, the reason why we have the whole under the mountain scene later is because she gave all of the high lords, this poisonous drink that enabled her to siphon like 99% of it. of their powers to her. So that's why, like, when we, we know Tamlin and he's doing like basic

fairy magic earlier, it kind of tucker's amount. But at this point, most of the powers of all of the courts are lying with Amarantha. Yeah. And then she cursed the spring court with the masks. Or she said to Tamlin, everything will go away if you just accept me. And Tamlin said, I would marry a human rather than touch you. That's when Alice was telling her, he has been cursed. He has to make a human who hates Faye fall in love with him. Yes. Tamlin was to find a human girl who both hated the Faye and would be willing to marry him. This girl had to kill one of his own Faye in an unprovoked attack, killing the Faye for hatred alone. Yeah. So there is some, there's some backstory about the sister too. So this is why she's so angry. Yeah. Because her sister fell for a human who stabbed her in the back. That happened before all of this. Like,

there was a human named Juryan and he fell in love with Amarantha's sister and he betrayed her in the worst possible way. She never forgave him. And the sister died because of it. Yeah. So that is, we learned the backstory and then Farah decided she's just going to go fall at the altar of Amarantha and see if she'll, you know, know, if I profess my love, will we be able to break the curse? Because really, had she said, I love you back in that moment when she was leaving, the curse would have been broken. Damn it, right? And that's why Alice is. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it. Because like, this was beauty and the beast should. This is. So insufferable she is because, like, she loves them and she can't say it. And so, like, that is what frustrated me in this book is that there are so many things that

She should have said that she didn't. I get it, plot and everything. But, like, this was very frustrating for me. It's like, just fucking say that you love him. And we don't have to deal with all this under the mountain shit. But whatever. Yeah. So, unfortunately, because she's so insufferable.

We have to go under the mountain. Um, she has. All right, while we do this, let's have some under the mountain jiggle juice, ladies. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Bottoms up. Tamlin, Mambi, Pambi, Pambi for being an epi.

useless in the scene. Yeah, he is pretty much useless, the rest of the novel. Pretty much. So she shows up to Amarantha's layer. Follows to her knees and tells Amarantha that she's here to claim her true love. Tamlin's sitting on the throne next to her, just impassive, looking bored, no recognition crossing his face. And I think for a moment, like she feels like, holy shit, what have I done? Like I'm here for the guy.

Yeah. He flat out said, I don't know this bitch. Yeah. And he's like, he's not fighting for her. He's doing nothing but just sitting there. And then she realizes poor Claire has been tortured within an inch of her life. She's nailed to the wall up behind them as an example to everyone. It's just the, you can see that she's just endured some pretty horrific torture.

You know, she feels really awful about it, which she should. That was really awful. Yeah. So before Fahra leaves Alice, Alice says, whatever you do, don't make a deal with a fairy. And don't drink the jiggle juice. No advice whatsoever. Here's my two bits of advice. Don't drink the wine and don't make a deal with a fairy.

So the very first thing she does is make a deal with Amarantha. And Amarantha says, I'll free everybody if you can do one of two things. Either you solve my riddle or you successfully defeat three challenges that I set before. you. So I'm going to read this riddle. This is a lot of words. But here's the riddle. There are those who seek me a lifetime, but never we meet. And those I kiss, but who trample me beneath ungrateful feet. At times I seem to favor the clever and the fair, but I bless all those who are brave enough to dare. By large, my ministrations are soft-handed and sweet, but scorned I become a difficult beast to defeat.

For though each of my strikes lends a powerful blow, when I kill, I do it slow. Yeah. It's love. But instead she had to battle a big old worm instead

because she couldn't figure it out. Yeah, she just took her. She's going over and over it, but she's got under a lot of stress, you guys, too. That's true. So she says, I'll take the deal.

And then they beat the shit out of her and put her into a filthy cell. She wakes up with a broken nose and just completely battered and Lucian sneaks in and he heals her. Oh, I know. He really did. It's kind of a kid's sister relationship for the two of them, which is kind of adorable. But her first challenge is a big, like you said, a big giant worm. It's a little hunger games. They're in, they're in a coliseum. All the fairies are, you know, gathered round to cheer and jeer. Taking bets. Yeah. They're playing bats and it's pretty. Only one person like bet for her. Everybody else bet against her. We'll find out who later. Yeah. Well, we'll find out now. It goes, okay. So,

She beats the worm. Very clever. Like she, she uses her smarts and she beats the worm. And we find out that Resan is the only one that bet on it. And he wins a shit ton of money because of it. But she gets a fatal injury or a really, really bad, almost fatal injury from the fight. It would have been fatal. Yeah. She was, she was literally dying in the cell. Yeah. She had a fever and she's, I mean, it's filthy. And she's, I mean, she's just, she's just disgusting. So Rysand. comes down there and says, I'll make you a deal. So here we go again with the one thing I'll have said not to do. You're being asked to do it again. I'll heal you. And then in exchange, you have to spend one week a month with me. Two weeks. Oh, is it two weeks? It's two weeks, but he started with that

negotiation. She negotiated. She negotiated down to one. Oh, okay. Okay. Because I knew I knew they ended, I thought it was one. So yeah, she negotiates and he's chuckling and admiring her because she's dying and he's basically offering her life and they agreed to it so he heals her and and gives her a bat I don't imagine yeah that's I mean I'm like how did she smell after I was just thinking after that worm and she had to like like she was in that fiend like oh that was nasty so yeah which that was glad she's clean yeah yeah well he probably did it more for himself than her and I was like I know I I would. You're like, girl, I need to tell you, you got a little bit of a problem going on down there. You funky. You funky. But she wakes up not only clean and healed, but she's also tattooed.

So she has this like tattoo crawling up her arm and then in her palm, it's an eyeball. So she's that she's, of course, ungrateful and annoyed. She doesn't appreciate being healed. She's real pissed about the tattoo. Sounds like a cool ass tattoo though. I mean, the things that bother her I never have bothered me. I mean, again, this is like we're in a romance novel. This is a hot guy. Like, come on, Faira.

So, it's a, it's a riddle that you have to solve that based on the answer to the riddle, you pull one of three levers. But because she can't read, she can't figure out what the answer is.

And poor Luce, is like the sacrificial lamb. Yeah, the lamb to slaughter. Amber Rance, she loves torturing Lucian. He's her whipping boy, basically. And so she's got him, these spikes are coming down from the ceiling that are going to murder him and her both at the same time. It's also to torture Tamlin a little bit because this is his best friend and his girlfriend, right?

So. But like Tamlin, show some fucking emotion. Oh, my God. Every now and again. Like, you really disappoint me, Tamplin. Really disappointed. Tamlin under the under the mountain was like not his best look. I have heard that his nickname in the in the world of Akatar's tampon.

Yeah. So, okay, okay, just a little sidebar here. So I try really hard to avoid the spoilers with that one. I was like, why? Yeah. Why? Okay. So just a sidebar.

TikTok video, right? So we have, I'm setting the stage. So we have under the mountain. And we have Lucian that is like this warrior that's like, I'm doing my part. And Fahra is over here saying, I'm doing my part. And then slam cuts to resan. And he's like, I'm doing my part. And then you slam cut to like tampon.

And he's like, I ain't doing shit. I mean, he was so useless. He just tried to corner her in a closet while like she's dancing or whatever. And then, no, they. And like he came in and kissed her. And then even Rizan had to clean up that bullshit because like he had to like clean up the mess because Tamlin had his hands all over her. And apparently he had. Well, we should.

Okay. So we should go back. So yeah. At some point, Rysand is able to dress her up like a doll and put paint all over her and take her to evening party. Yes. And again, rather than be grateful to be out of her filthy cell and eating food and drinking, she's getting wasted. every night. She's pissed off about it. Well, that was the other rule that Alice said, don't drink the wine. And she, like, the night one. Yeah. If I'm dying in a cell, I want an escape.

So, like, bring me the fairy wine. Bring me the wine. Yeah. Yeah. It does make her blackout. Like, but what she does is while Rysand is just doing it to torment Tamlin, because when she gets drunk, you know, she kind of hose out and like dances and, you know, she's wearing basically nothing. God, I miss my 20s. I know, right, when you can wear that stuff and look good. Yeah. She looks good. That sounds like a great time.

Again, Farah and I, we're not in the same vibe. Like, I would have had no problem with half of this stuff. Now, the worm, no, thank you. But the hot guys, yeah. And the wine, sure. But anyway, so he at one of the parties one night, Tamlin does corner her in a closet and puts his hand all over her and Reese Sandwalks in and there's because he painted her in such a way, he could tell where all the

handprints were. And it was really stupid because like, then Tamlin had the proof on his sands too, which would have made Amarantha mad. And it was just, it was really reckless and selfish, you know, and it's like up until now, you, you can get away with saying, I'm acting indifferent as not to to egg her on. But if you're going to corner your girlfriend in the closet and put proof all over. her that you like her like that's very selfish. How about we take you into a closet and we talk about a game plan and we talk about like how are we going to do this together and we don't try to have sex, right? Yeah, you act instead you act like a horny teenager and we get nowhere. It was really, it was stupid. So, and Reese had to clean that up again. Yeah. Yeah. He came in a magic,

they did a magic eraser in a way. He did. I was like, I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. so like Amarantha's not like breaking the fuck out. So I don't know if I said in the second challenge with the spikes, she reached for the wrong lever and hid the little eyeball tattoo zapped her. That's how she got out of that one because the eyeball tattoo told her which lever was the right one. I can't read. She's trying to read this riddle. So Rysand, that's when he realizes, oh shit, she doesn't know how to read.

Reesans over here going, oh, shit. She's like, like worked on phonics over here and like it's not working. But okay, so we get to challenge number three, which is just horrible. This does start to feel very hundred good because it's cruel and it's awful. Yeah. So they basically challenge number three. And Marantha brings in three fairies with bags over their heads and tells Farah she has to kill all three of them.

Then everyone's free. And so Faira's like weighing her options. Like this is three lives to save a nation type of thing. So the first one is a young man. Like you're seeing like a 10, 12, 14 year old. That's kind of what I was picturing. And it's awful. And so she kills.

He's bleeding for his life. Yeah. Like he's just scared. Oh. It's just like I hated. I hated hated this. And then every when she kills him, you hear like sobbing and it's. Yeah.

It's just, it's just a horror. Like it's a, it's a, it's a Sophie's choice. It's like the worst, you know. And so then the second woman is a, is a very religious woman who's praying the entire time. And I mean, again, just how, how. And she does, I mean, to her credit, like she, she's struggling with this as she, as anyone would. And then they pull off the third bag and it's Tamlin. And you're just thinking like, this is the most horrific thing that anyone's being. And, asked to do. She's doing this all for him. And now to save the nation, she has to kill the man she loves. But she has like, like everything freezes. You're thinking like in a movie where it's like everything goes slow-mo. And she's starting to remember like, wait a minute. I'm missing something here. I just know I'm missing something. And she, he remembers all these flashbacks to people saying Tamlin had a heart of stone. Yeah. And Amarantha's not going to volunteer him as tribute. because she wants him for herself. So she knows that he has a heart of stone. So she figured it out. And Alice, before she went under the mountain, told her there's something that you don't know that's going to work in your favor. So just, you know, remember that.

She stabs him and he doesn't die. And Amarantha's pissed because she won all three challenges and that was not the plan. She basically says, hey, I didn't tell you when I read free everybody. And so then the audience starts getting pissed off. Like it's like a mob, you know, mentality. Everybody's like, hey, you're a cheater. And they're getting mad at her, she doesn't care. She attacks Fara and fatally injures her.

And as she's dying, she figures out the answer to the riddle, which is love. Love. I mean, you could have figured this out like three challenges ago. You didn't have to go through any of that girl. It would have been nice if she had because the minute she said the word, everybody gets their magic back. Just as her spine is snapped. All the masks fall off.

And the only thing really keeping her alive is her bond to recent. Right. He is like she's actually seeing the room through his eyes because of their bond. So, but she's definitely going to die. All of the high lords realize that she is the curse breaker, that she's very important. to them and they all come over with this like magic sparkle if you've I love this scene it's a very beautiful scene I mean you have all these high lords and they they don't seven of them right yeah and they it was just kind of like very ceremonial where they they see phara and she's lying you know sure her spine

is crack her neck is cracked and her head is like in a weird ass position and it's very vulgar and they all just come and they just give a little bit of their power. And it's kind of like, here you go. We're just installing life back into you. And I actually really, really love this scene. It was super cool. It was, it was magic. It was magical to see it. And like, it was special. And for them to do this for a human, which you kind of feel throughout the book, like humans are kind of, they think very lowly of them. And especially Barron, the high lord of the autumn court, he's kind of an asshole. So for him to be the first one to do it was kind of interesting to me. Yeah. Yeah. So not only do they save her life, but now she's a high fake. She is? Yes, which is a really big deal. And ass is never going to

fall. Your boobs are always going to point north. Wow. But she's still going to be tormented. She's still going to be tormented about what happened under the amount. Well, she has Paira, you know. But then Tamlin's pissed at Amarantha for trying trying to kill Faye. So he murders her and he turns into the beast and he kills her. And we're all like, thank God. Ding dong. The witch is dead. She's out of here.

Ding dong. Ding dong. But the thing I thought was really bizarre was that they've been in this prison under the mountain forever, right? And you would think. 50 years. You would think like now that you're free, like you go home, right? But no, they stay at the hotel.

It's a nightmare. And I'm like, bouncing, bitches. And go to the red eye and get back to the spring court. Like, you're going to stay under the mountain one more night. What? I think they want to just see what happens with like Farah because she's sitting there and she's like trying to come back to life. Like a baby giraffe with these new powers. You know, she doesn't understand.

But we do get more. This is the second sex and last sex scene in the book. Yeah. They get a suite at the hotel at the back of the mountain. And get it on. In this moment, I didn't know about tampon. And I didn't know. I was just so happy she was with her love.

I was in the first book, too. Yeah. I was like, oh, they finally together. Yeah. Saying all the right things. And yeah, they, she, they're kind of post-coital. And, you know, she wakes up early and she's summoned, sort of. Like she feels a calling out to the balcony.

Well, she does have, she does have a hotel room with a balcony. Yeah. Well, that was. an account of, you know, Risen can fly. That's the other thing we didn't talk about. Like, when he got his powers back, he got wings.

Mm-hmm. He sure did. So there's a mother hot on him. I don't know why. The other guy would be like, a little deal breaker about it. He can pull it off. So he summons her to the balcony and says,

you know, don't forget about her one week a month. And she's like, yeah, yeah. And so he does. he's there to say goodbye. But she's like, why did you do all these things for me? Because she's, she's recognizing like he didn't have to do shit. She had a death wish showing up there to begin with. And he said, I didn't want you to fight alone.

So she actually does say thank you in that moment to him, which finally. Finally, I think. I mean, she said thank you maybe two times in this book. And I'm glad that she said thank you to recent. And you'll find, we'll find out later. Just how important all of that was and his connection to her, more to come. So you guys got to stay tuned. Well, before he left the balcony, he looked at her in shock.

Do you guys remember that where he took like a couple of steps back? Yeah. And he was trying to process what was going through his own mind on that balcony. So I do. Okay. Okay. So that. I did miss that.

That was the cliffhanger. But I didn't. Well, no, because then the next morning she and Tampa, Hamlin hand in hand. Just like, they catch the red eye back to the spring court. Because you're like, hey, Uber. No, that's actually a very pivotal scene when Rysand looks at her and the color drains from his face. And he has this like epiphany.

And he like, and she notices. Like he just is like. He stumbled backwards. And he's stumbling backwards. And he is like freaking out. And then he just disappears. So like it was only for a split second. She's like, what the fuck?

And he's like, poof. But we know why later. So. Okay. Well, now I am excited to jump into the next one. But it does end like with those two hand in hand going back to Spring Court to live there happily ever after. But it's not a happily ever after because she is. I'm not going to spoil anything, but she goes back and she can't get her mind off of the two fairies.

The murders. Yes, of course. He can't. And so she can't get out of her own way. She is so upset. She just has to be like, I have to like put things to the side for a hot minute about what I did so I can have some sex with Tamlin. But I can't get my mind off of what I have done. She's not going back to her happily ever after because she is tormented.

Yeah, I mean, that is true. And that will play her. And she will never be happy. I'm convinced unless she turns out. turns into a different fairy in this book series. Like this woman, nothing makes her happy. It does not matter.

Oh, girl, you just have to follow. This is a five, this is a five book series. And each book is like 157 minutes long. Just sit back and relax. I like, that's not so bad.

What's that two hours? Yeah, like one book is like 23 hours, I think. Um, yes, the next one is a court of mist and fury. And that one is 23 hours. But I actually, that one went by like this.

But I listen and read. I do both. So like I read a little faster than I listen. So I'm really excited for our fairy smut journey. Before we close, I do want to get your rating on this book. And it'll be interesting because you guys have read the other books. And so I'll be curious to see what you thought of book one. And as we go.

But I'll go first because I'm the Virgin. And I will give this book four stars. I've heard a lot of reviews say, thought book one was boring. I did not think it was boring. I thought it was really, really good. It was I read it in like three days. And I thought the story was very unique and interesting. I really enjoyed it. Now, spice wise, this was less than a one. I mean, not only did they only have sex twice, but they didn't even talk about it. Like, it was just like, we, we just did that. Don't blink. Like, because you missed it. I hear the next book is a little spicier. So I'm excited to

dive into that one. So, okay, Jen, so you're on. Book three. What did you rate book one? Pretty much the same. I rate the first book as a four. It goes so fast as a spice content. It was it was a one. Yeah. All right. For me. So I would give it a 3.5 only because there is so much more that is going to be happening in the series that for me, when you look back on book one, it starts slow. But with that being said, it paints the picture very beautifully. She does. did a wonderful job kind of setting the stage. So there's no bad blood there. She did actually draw all of us in. And that's why we're here and talking about it today. But when you look at the whole series and just how exciting it gets and how spicy it gets, it does get a lot better. So I'm super excited to talk about it more. Yay, me too. And Lynn, like I said, has read the series three times. And she said she often starts back with book two. Because book one really just laying the ground. work. It isn't. Yep. Once you know the ground works, like, go like hop on over to book too because that's where

you want to be. Okay. Well, I'm excited to do that. Well, thank you ladies. This has been really fun to recap with you. And I am looking forward to the next one. Until then, happy reading. See you later.

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