Boozy Bookgasms - Hallmark after Dark

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Share a cocktail with Santa's three favorite Ho's! The cousins recap Kati Wilde's lighthearted, steamy, insta-love Christmas Romance.   Secret Santa by Kati Wilde Signature Cocktail: Peppermint White Russian Ingredients: Vodka, Coffee Liqueur, Heavy Cream, Peppermint Schnapps, Candy Cane for garnish Dampen the rim of a glass with a little peppermint schnapps and coat with crushed peppermints. Add ice and top with 2 oz Vodka, 1 oz of Coffee Liqueur, 1/2 oz of Peppermint Schnapps and 1 oz of Heavy Cream. Stir gently and garnish with a peppermint candy cane for a wonderfully decadent holiday treat. 

Do you think I ever start one of these things like on time? It's on time. I don't know. I just showed. I should. I just go when you tell me. I'm a trained monkey. You're like, perform.

I don't know. I don't know like that's right. Definitely not. Buckle of literature fans. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace. where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride.

Welcome back, literature fans. We are Santa's three favorite hoes. I am Jen. I'm Lynn. I'm Kim. And today we are talking about Secret Santa by Katie Wild. But first, what are we drinking tonight? Tonight, in honor of our girls' stockings,

we're going to drink a peppermint white Russian. We got a little vodka, some coffee liqueur, heavy cream, peppermint schnapps, candy cane for garnish. And just like the story, this drink is rich and satisfying with a fun holiday escape. Yummy. Delish. I love anything peppermint. Yummy.

Well, I thought I would start us off today with just an overview of our female main character. Her name is Emma Williams. And she is a 22-year-old virgin. She grew up in foster care. She was laid off from her job and has been unemployed for long enough that her bills are kind of building up and she's got a lot of stress about money. But she keeps a very tight budget. She pinches her pennies to make ends meet. But this is a theme throughout the book. She's very stressed about this. So chapter one, we are at Emma's new job. She just got a job at Crenshaw's custom woodworks. This is a cute little company owned by Bruce Crenshaw. It's a very small. company. Only seven people work there. Three people in the main office, four in the custom workshop. And Emma's training to be Marianne's replacement because Marianne is very pregnant and she will soon be going out on maternity leave. So Marianne's telling Emma, I really need somebody to go to the workshop and

take the Santa hat full of names because they're drawing names for Secret Santa. But just then, as luck would have it. Bruce's very hot son, Logan, is on his way into the office. Emma sneaks a peek at him, smiling up at the snowflakes coming down and she's getting the feels. I'm picturing Logan as like a lumber sexy. Yeah, definitely. He's described as very ginormous with blue eyes. It's really hot, but he makes Emma nervous because he's always scowling and glaring. Yeah, she's definitely noticed him before this scene and the book. Like she's hot. She kind of thinks he's hot already,

but he makes her super nervous. But he's coming over and she's kind of, you know, she's looking out this picture window of him coming from the, across the snowy parking lot, right? Between the two buildings. But I'd say she's almost a little afraid of him. Like he always looks angry.

Angry. Like very, very focused on her. She's kind of like a resting bitch face. Yeah. Like a male resting bitch face. What is that? Mrish?

What? Resting asshole face? Oh, there you go. I like it. It's a wrap. It's an R-D-F, resting dip thing. Oh, there you go. Good.

All right. We're going to, we're going to coin that. Trademark. Trademark, yeah. So she's attracted to him, though, and she's very open about that in her inner thoughts. And she talks excessively about her wet panties and how it's time to finally get late and fast. She goes so far as to say her panties are sopping, Emma. That is a visual that, I mean, you know, it's kind of like the word voice.

Like, when you hear it, you have a very much of visual picture. An necessary. No, she just walked in. Are they really sobbing? You may want to get that checked. I mean, she's been thinking. That might be a disorder, Emma. That might be something else going on there, but it was kind of crowding.

Yeah. And get the point. He's hot. It. So Logan's there to meet with his dad and says after he, so after he meets with his dad, he says, I'll take a secret Santa to the workshop for you. But he says, Emma, you got to pick a name. And she's kind of caught up.

He's all inner dialoguey too. Like, you're starting to get, right? The sense of sort of. Well, next chapter he is. Okay. Filthy. So basically he says, you need to pick a name and she's a little surprised because she's so new. I think she's only worked there a week, right?

Yeah. He's like, I'm not going to bite. Just pick a fucking name. And he like snaps at her. And she says, well, I'm glad to see the spirit of the season has infused you with so much fucking patience. So she snaps back. Oh, Emma.

Love it. She's not so much upset that she has to pick a name because she's new. It's more like it's a budget thing. It's a money. Even a $10 limit. Emma has budgeted herself to the penny. Yeah. It is really.

Well, you find that she was like an accounting major. And so she's got this whole, you know, yeah, like red line, you know, black line. Like every single penny that she has is budgeted up to the point where she's paying off her debts like seven months from now based on this job. And she has nothing to spare. So this $10 secret Santa is like really scary for her. It's throwing off her budget. And she's like, wait, why am I in this? I've only been here a week.

And of course, Marianne and Bruce are like, you're part of the family now. And they're being so lovely and sweet. And, you know, like, of course, she's. would be in it and so she's freaking out and then Logan's being you know resting dick face and she's trying to like she's trying to figure out do I get food for the wheat? Well they said that you oh right

grocery or am I going to buy somebody a cupcake or something and then even even at one point she's like if I get a lot of cupcakes I could save somebody I can eat them I can use the eggs yeah like I'll buy the egg phenomenal and I'll have them left I mean this woman this woman is very good at what she does

but you know you feel for her because she's going to be struggling. So Logan says, you think I'm impatient, Emma, you have no fucking idea how patient I've been with you. Emma, it terrifies her. She grabs the name and just runs out of there. So this is a part where I should really point out, this book is called Insta Love. So I think we need to clarify that, or you're going to think Logan's a psychopath when he goes to this chapter, where he talks about how much he likes Emma after he's only known her for a week because it's really, it's a little over the top.

It's basically like a love it for a obsession or first sight type situation. Like when you know, you know type situation. But it's like all right. It's like we've been together for four days. We're getting married now. Married. Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of. So we move into chapter two, which is Logan's point of view. His thoughts about her are filthy. I mean, every, every thought he has about her is straight up sexual. He's got a filthy mouth. I mean, he is really, that is that is always. he thinks about. He's a lot of Carpenter. Carpenter.

He likes to use his hands. Yeah, he does. He's straight testosterone. So he does say to Marian like, why Zima's so scared of me? She says, it's because you're like a raging bull moose in rutting season.

So they can see that it's because he likes her. Because they know him. They know him. They know it. Just thinks he's mad at her. all the time. So she's supposed to go to the bank and make a deposit because it's Friday, but her car won't start. So Logan walks out and sees her in this broken, you know, in this car that's not starting. And he offers her to take, you know, I'll take you to the bank. He's going to take her to the bank. Yeah.

Every other thought being sexual. Like, oh, but this is his way to like, right? This is his way to, like, ingratiate himself, right? He knows that like she's not scared of him and that's why she acts this way. so I'm going to take her to the bank and do her favors and hopefully like get some time with her. Yes. And so they're getting to know each other. He's a hot shot custom furniture designer. His designs are to sell for six figures plus. And then he was recently featured in a local magazine.

Emma loves numbers and accounting and she's real big on balancing sheets. So we've talked about that. But they're kind of getting to know each other. but he's, again, constantly picturing having sex with her. I can't stress that enough. It's every other sentence that goes through his brain. And so Logan tells her all he wants out of life is football in the winter, barbecue in the summer, and beer to drink with both.

Add in work with his hands and the love of a good woman and he's set for life. And this really thumbs him up beautifully. There is a lot of depth beyond this for Logan. I was fine with that. Like, I mean, it's a tiny little book. I need a bear on a lot of a barbecue. I mean, he seems low maintenance to me. Really does.

And he's fixing. 100%. He works with his hands and he wants to screw you. I mean, he's pretty happy here. Yeah, he makes a good living. It's a very simple, you know, it's a simple life. They dropped the deposit and Logan says something that makes Emma shrink back a little. He kind of barks at her again.

And he said, why are you so scared of me? And she said, because you're always growling at me and I don't know what I did to make you mad. So he says, well, that's just my face. Like we talked about. And then his inner thought goes, my, I'm going to fuck you good and hard face. That's what is in her brain. So I'm like, oh, Lord Logan. Okay.

So Emma's like, well, that's really good to know. I'm so glad to know now that like you're not mad at me all the time. So they go back to her car and he wants to take her off her drinks. She's kind of funny about it. He's worried about the money. She's very worried and she doesn't want a handout. Like she doesn't want him to pay and she's going to feel like she's got to pay him back. And so he doesn't push it and he takes her home.

The next morning, Emma wakes up and she's like still thinking about Logan and so happy he's not mad at her all the time. And then there's like a knock at the door. Well, wait, hold on. They also talk about how her apartment is like 60 degrees. It's because she won't turn on. No Christmas. She can't afford, yes, that she can't afford the heat. He's got these like long socks on.

Like she's bundled up like the whole thing. She goes to balancing her budget. Yeah, she's frequently worried about money. That's that's all through the book. And Logan knows this and picked up on it. So she gets back from running errands. She curls up under a ton of blankets because she's freezing with a good book. And so she's wearing flannel shorts, striped knee socks and a big oversized sweater.

She's also got on a hat and some gloves. This poor woman is like freezing. I mean, you do. I just constantly feel bad for her. Yeah. So there's a knock at the door and she goes and there's a little box that says, Open me now, Emma. And it's on Crenshaw letterhead so she knows it's from work.

It says, open the box, put on your gift and unlock the door. Don't remove your gift until I'm gone. Signed your secret Santa. And then it says, trust me, Emma. She thinks her secret, or it's true. Secret Santa's Bruce, the dad, the owner of the company. So she thinks it's like the dad bringing her a gift and she thinks it's kind of Oh, because in the truck he told her, Logan said, my dad is your secret Santa.

What do you want? So I can tell him so he doesn't stress out. So he's basically told her this. So now she assumes she knows. She thinks Bruce is there to bring her gift. And she's like, so she puts on this, it's like a sleep. linefold. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, I mean,

Bruce is my secret Santa, but I really wish it was Logan that was here. And so, spoiler alert, it's Logan. He's there. Yeah, but also, like, I really wish it was Logan, but my creepy boss is now, like, giving me an eye mask, and I'm going to put it on and just wait in my freezing cold apartment and, like, hope he doesn't. In her little shorts and Nissan. Do you remember, like, do we remember what she asked for?

Because I couldn't remember what she asked. Candles. Oh, it was candles. No, it smelled like pine. Yeah. Right. So here she is thinking, I'm my boss, very gentle, lovely man. Lovely.

Lovely. He's going to have me wear a blindfold stand against the wall while he brings in scented pine candles into my room. And then he's going to casually disband. But I'm not allowed to look. Right. Who does this? There's nothing strange about this at all.

He agrees. I feel like there's a there's a swing and a miss here. Yeah. I mean, like, she's a smart cookie, but this was not a smart move. Okay. I know. It was a little creepy. We're just spending belief like real life here.

Christmas magic. So Logan, yeah, he brings it as a Christmas tree because she had mentioned that's why she wanted the candles because she didn't have a tree this year. She realizes, oh, my gosh, she's setting up a tree. She can feel, she can hear it like. She hears the pine needles against the wall. Yeah. So she still got her blindfold on and Logan talks and she realizes it's him. And she says, so this is more than the $10 secret Santa.

Like I feel like I should pay you back. Like that she's real big on that. He says, well, you can pay me back in kisses. And he says, the long and deep kind as if my mouth is slowly fucking yours. Okay, Santa. Like, I mean, he's real up front about it. Lumber sexual. And he also kind of disguises his voice a little bit.

Like, he's very careful about making his voice different. But she knows it's him, though. I know. But even still, would you be like, okay, Santa? Well, yeah, because she has the hots for him. Yeah. And she knows it's him now. He still doesn't let her take off the mask, but, like, she knows it's him.

Yeah. And she has the hots for him. I don't know. She's down. I'm still surprised why she still has to have the mask on, though. I think it's like a secret. It's also a secret. There's a lot of mass usage in the book.

Yeah. I think this is Logan. Yeah. They start kind of making out. She's really horny and kind of wants more. But he says he doesn't want the first time they have sex to feel like an exchange for a Christmas tree. And he says, but I'm going to come back tomorrow for some sex. Are you going to answer the door?

And our sweet little virgin Emma says, sure. Yeah, I am. I sure am. That's right. She's a virgin. Oh, yeah. Before he leaves, he gets a little pervy and says, can I have your panties? A little pervy?

It's a lot pervy. This guy was straight off. I was a blindfold, I can't stress this enough. All he thinks about is having sex with her. Okay. Insta love. Insta lust. he's talking really dirty about his big cock filling her pussy i mean like he's very

clear on what his mission here is so he doesn't know yet he doesn't know yet that she's a virgin no no no he takes her panties off and of course they're sopping they're soaking well I do not need still not sure if it's a problem medically I mean, she inspires him to give her oral sex while he's down there, you know. Sure. She's taking off her pain. Yeah. You're ready for something.

Leave her wanting, you know. So he gives her, of course, just an amazing orgasm because he's loved it. Immediately. You know, I mean, every lumber sexual. Every guy can do this. Yeah. Yeah. It's easy, right? And then she tells him, he's an evil Santa. And he goes.

An evil Santa with a big dick. That's up, Logan. Prepare yourself. I'll see you tomorrow. So she goes to bed with sweet dreams, right? The next day, Logan and his dad, they do meals on wheels, which is really nice. Yeah. So, and they've been doing, but they've been doing it for, like,

years. And Logan's got Emma on the brain, right? Like, he just can't stop thinking about her. And the dad's like, are you thinking about Emma? Like, he just kind of knows. He says, yeah, I really am. And Bruce says, well, be careful with her. And he's like, let me tell you a story. So he tells a story about years ago, I don't remember how many years ago, but Emma would have been. Well, it would have had to have been like 13 or something. Yeah, she was like, she's, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, yeah, like, eight, Nine years. Yes. They basically were dropping off Thanksgiving, a Thanksgiving meal and coming to the door with

like the turkey and the fixings. Emma answered the door and Bruce is wearing a Santa hat and she's so excited and like, oh my gosh, there's food here and she's malnourished and she's got bruises all over her body. Especially like on our wrists and stuff. A really, a woman runs up to the door smelling like whiskey and yanks her away and pulls on her wrist. So we kind of see how she's getting these bruises. and she slams the door in Bruce's face and says,

we don't need charity. This really upsets Bruce and he doesn't leave the driveway. And he calls someone he knows at Child Protective Services and make sure they're going to pull her out of the home before he leaves. Really stuck with him. And he didn't realize until Emma showed up for the interview. He remembered her the minute that happened. But she didn't remember him.

So Logan was there too. Logan was a child when they. happened and he was there with his dad. Yeah, but he was like behind the dad, like getting stuff out of the car and never saw. Like, I would have remembered her. Yeah. So he's just saying like, be careful with her heart. Like she's been through a lot. Like don't go down this one unless you're going to. It was a foster family too. So yeah. So she had bopped around a bunch of a child and that was obvious. Yeah. So he says, only pursue her if you're sure. And Logan says, I've never been sure

anything more in my life. After one week, I know. I know. So now it's. It's time for date night. Emma, well, I guess what Emma's expecting. Night too. Sex rom, right? Like he just said, I'm going to show up and have sex with you. Didn't he want to take her out too? I mean, he was going to whine and dine her a little.

Well, he's kind of, after his dad tells him all that stuff, he's thinking, wow, I kind of screwed this up because I made this sound like it was going to be about sex, but I really want more with Emma. But I really want more. Yeah. Yeah. And so he's like, I should do this differently. So he puts a note on again, and it says with a mask.

And it says, put on your mask. mask, unlock your door, and wait, your secret Santa. Emma waits there. She's all dolled up with a mask, and Logan basically walks in, throws her over his shoulder and tells her they're going back to his place to see his Christmas tree, which is innuendo for his big giant penis. But he also had a big giant Christmas tree. He had two of them. That's right, too. But she's also like, she's got the socks on, the knee highs. She's got like her her stick. Her signature like yeah look so she's kind of shivering in the corner

well he he realized how cold it was because he left decorations for her to decorate but he realizes it's cold and he's sort of putting it the pieces I guess of her story together yeah so he gets her out of the apartment yeah yeah part of his reason for wanting to go back to his place is because her place is so cold and uncomfortable they're on the drive

to his place and she's like how much longer? I just don't know if I'm even going to be able to make the whole drive without fingering myself because I'm so horny. Like, geez, sweet little virgin Emma. Like she really turned on the free ride pretty quick. But she manages to make it there. And then they get there and pulls her out of the car, throws her over his shoulder again. And this is hot to me, like a big giant lumber top like throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. And anyway, And then he runs like up to flights of stairs because his house is like, that's impressive. Like a fireman.

Yeah. She's like on his shoulder. Like I got to, he doesn't a lot of stairs. Wow. He throws her on the bed and they start to make out and he realizes she's not wearing any panties. And she's like, hey, I was just being practical because like you were going to just tell me to do me.

Like I thought that was the plan, you know. So this, so he realizes she's a virgin when he breaks her hymen with his finger. With his finger. Yeah. One finger. Just have giant like meat hands. Like I just.

Oh, they say he does. There's a very large man. He's like, oh shit. Like this is a totally different situation. Like I got to slow this down. You know, because I have such a giant penis. Like she's not going to be ready. And morals.

And more worried about like breaking her in half. That's what he said. So we're going to work her way up to the second. He said, He would just stare her with his Christmas tree. This giant. They end up having fun anyway. And then it gets kind of cute.

Like they decide they're going to have a little date night. He had gotten some pizza. And she says like, what are you really after here? You know, because he's like this rich, good looking guy. And she's like, what's your, you know, in game? He's like, this time next year, I want you sitting here with. my ring on your finger. They've known each other a week.

Like, is, yeah. But that does not scare her. She is here for that. She points out the obvious, which is we don't even really know each other. Right. But we will in a year. Yeah. And he says he knows enough to be certain she's the one for him.

Well, there's a whole thing about like his dad and his mom. The mom, they knew after a week. I think the mom asked him. Like a day or something. They were like, like he, Logan has known. him longer than the dad and mom knew each other before they knew and they got married, but she passed. But this is apparently a family trait that the men, when they know, they know, or the mom. Yeah. Yeah. When they know they know, they know. So she's a little like, well, I don't know.

And so he's like, let me show you something. So he's giving her to her the house and he shows her this library that's got all these empty bookshelves. And Emma's a big reader. That's like, they talk about that a lot. And so he's like, see, this is. This is your library. It's waiting for your books. And she says that he's beauty and the beasting her by romancing her. I thought that was so cute. It was really cute.

I did too. And the library, the library was hot. The fact that it was like, I built this without even knowing why it built it. But now you're here and I know why. Yeah. It was really cute.

It was romantic. It was really sweet. It was really sweet. So they hang out, they watch football, they eat pizza, Emma's reading Logan's books and kind of judging his book selections. On his Kindle. Yeah. Oh yeah, he just gave. He has no real books.

Yeah. He has the Kindle. That's why it's such a weird thing that he has this library room that he did. Yeah. But he hands over his electronic with no issue. Yeah. He's like here. They're very familiar.

Yeah. Logan's thinking, you know, I got this beautiful lady on my couch and a beer in my hands. and, you know, that can't get better than this until Emma, you know, treats them to a blowjob, which that was her first blowjob ever. Yes, she's watched a lot of porn. She's a natural. I mean, well, she reads really, she reads books like we do, like the smutty. Yeah, she's learned. She watched porn and read books.

Yeah, she studied. She was tentative. She was a little tentative, but not scared. Like, I'm going for it. She was like, I'm here for this. I'm going for it. tell me if I do it wrong. Yeah.

And she didn't. She did it right. Best blow, blow, draw. A lot of studying. A lot of studying. I mean, listen up, kids. If you study.

If you study. She got an A on that test. Yeah. Yeah, she did. She falls asleep on the couch and wakes up Monday morning to Logan giving her oral sex, which, I mean, hey. I mean, hey.

It's better than a beeping alarm, right? Sounds amazing. Yeah. He makes her breakfast and invites her to Christmas with him and his dad, which was really sweet. She's apprehensive. She's sensitive, yeah. Yeah, because she's like, I, you know, with being a foster kid and never felt,

I always felt awkward at people's Christmases, like I didn't belong. He just, he doesn't push. He's like, just think about it. But he pushes a little. Like, he tries to convince her that, like, she won't feel awkward. What would make you not, what would not make you feel awkward? How can we make this happen? He's, he's pushing her.

Yeah. But not so much that he scares her. way. I think he's no gentle nudges in the right direction. And he's like, why don't you just stay at my house for several days when I'm out of town? That's what happened. Well, yeah, that's next. Yeah. So he's taking her back to her place so she can get dressed for work because it's Monday morning. And he's got a he's got a proposition for her. He's flying out of town for three days. And he keeps thinking about this poor girl in this freezing apartment. And she's got this car that won't start. He says, instead of me jumping your car today, why don't you take my car and stay in house set for me and he's got this dog that really hates him

it isn't different the dog hates him and I really have questions about people who have dogs that hate them but like well it's like it's like almost like a barn cat like it's just here for the food it just comes in and goes okay feed me we're done here I don't leave me a little and the dog the dog adopted him like it just showed up one day it was a strain and he just Just kept feeding it. Yeah. But under the guise of, would you please, house sip for me, she accepts the offer. She loves, she stays in his warm bed.

They have phone sex every night. Everything is, it's three days of wonderful. And she's falling into, like, like, rhythm at work too, right? Like, she's assistant to the dad and, like, Marianne's still there helping her transition. And so she's, yeah, she's feeling like things are good. Yeah. She's normalizing. She's normalizing this lifestyle.

Yeah. I mean, it's got to be kind of theory. and a half. I'd start, you know, things start feeling normal. Yeah. Three days later. Yeah. Insta loves. This is also like a narcissistic love bombing, but that's not what this book's about. So anyway, we're back. It's a day of the party. This is the day Logan's getting back from his trip. And Marianne swings by Emma's desk and says, oh, here's your, here's your Christmas bonus.

And she's like, I'm really sorry, you know, you're going to see everybody's bonus. And you'll realize you're this smaller, but it's because you're new. And Emma's like, oh, my gosh, I didn't think I'd get anything. She tucks it in her purse thinking it's like $25. Then she goes in to talk to Bruce and he's like, hey, I've been meeting the whole reason we hired you is because of your accounting background. And I know the phones aren't your favorite thing. And how would you feel about taking on a bigger role with the company? I mean, this Emma's life can't get any better. In like a 10 days. It's like a two weeks span and joy.

She has a great job. She's being promoted. She's got a guy like basically is about to promote. A lot of the guy. Yeah. Good sex. Bruce is like, I want to work in the shop more.

Like this is a win-win for me. And she's like, yeah. Hell yeah. Like I'm, this sounds great. Then Logan comes in from his trip and he runs right over to Emma and says, I've missed you baby. And he gives her a kiss.

And it's like, Oh, and then Bruce leaves it. And then he fucks it up. Yeah. And he puts up real bad. He gives her, wait, okay. So he gives her the Secret Santa gift that Bruce actually bought her. And it was a gift card to a bookstore, which was really sweet of Bruce.

Which is amazing. Uh-huh. Yep, that was perfect. And it was also Logan's idea. Emma tells Logan, she's got a gift for him tonight, a virgin pussy all wrapped up and waiting to go under his big Christmas tree. I mean, what a gift. Nobody didn't ask which one?

Which tree? Which tree? I think it was implied. I mean, if he asked, where is she going to put her pussy under like the pine tree? I'm just saying he has, technically has three trees. That's true. I mean, well, he has his tree. He's got two other trees.

Multiple trees. That is confusing. Thank you for asking that clarifying question. She went straight ho bag on this one, and he did not react. He doesn't react well. Well, he makes a mistake and says he doesn't want it to feel like an exchange. Because he feels like he thinks she's his secret Santa and can't afford a gift so that she's offering her virgin pussy as his secret Santa gift, which. In response to a $25 book credit or something.

Oh, $10. That's even worse. So she makes her feel like a whore, basically. I mean, the blow job alone, well worth more than $10. Well, we thought about this. A handy is got to be. I know. I don't know.

I don't know the going rate, but. Inflation. Thank God. We should research it for the purpose of this podcast. Inflation, dude. Emma gets real mad, right? Like, she has, this is our own. I have to say, like, I do feel like she probably overreacted.

I mean, it was, don't you think? Like, I was like, it's forced drama, but I feel like she really overreacted in the same. It lasted for maybe five pages. I mean, like, she was mad. But it was still so dramatic for so something. She did. She did start sobbing, like, right? I mean.

You always coming, though, right? Because you're like, everything is too perfect. It was too perfect. You're left. Yeah. We need drama. Yeah, that's true. But it still felt like she, she way overreacted and she, you know, yells at him, crying, grabs her gift, runs out of the office party with all the office people, the seven office people.

She goes to his truck. He goes to his vehicle. He goes in his truck. Like, she drove his. Basically, she says, drive me home and he does. And then she jumps out, runs up to her apartment. He's hot on her heels. and she says, do you really think you can come in here?

And he reminds her about the virgin pussy present that she promised. Yeah. Like, time in a place, Logan, like. You know what? It worked. It does work. He grovelled. He groveled appropriately.

I mean, moderately grovels. He's been a dipshit, but they make up. And he does tell her in this moment that he's in love with her. And she goes, can you please fuck me now. Yeah, he doesn't have to be asked twice. He is like, yes, ma'am, I can. And then he proceeds to, with his big giant penis, he takes us time because he doesn't want to hurt her. So they go pretty sensitive.

Yeah, they get through it and it's wonderful for both of them. Everybody's happy. A little dragged out. Did anyone else feel like this part was a little bit? I didn't think so. I didn't think so. But it was like, give it it to do, you know. And then I just.

held it there. Oh yeah, he did it. He did kind of soak it for a while. He'll just go. I know the process. I'm just like it was a long drug out. I didn't get that. I was I was here for this part. It was like finally like the climax was written really well. I thought yeah. I think Logan's in our perverted dialogue was a little over the top. But, But I thought the spice, it was, it was pretty hot. I was, yeah, I was here for the spice. I just, it was just like, finally we're here. So it was like, I didn't. This scene did not bother me.

It didn't feel too long. Like, yeah, I was like, finally we're here. This is so great. Yeah, finally. But now I'm going to like prolong it by talking about how long it takes to stretch her out. I get it. I get it. She's fucking her hips.

We're in. Move on. Move in. I don't know. Like the virgin pussy thing is very normal in these types of books where it's just like, they do take a long time to like, oh, you have to work it in. You have to stretch it out. It's like, man. Well, because they're always like, you know, girth master. Innocent. And they're humongues. Yeah. No. Logan realizes, so the next morning, he stays overnight and he wakes up and realizes the heat's been turned on. He says he realizes because he was going to the bathroom and his penis didn't shrivel. That's how he knew. Very. She gets an apartment. He's a very simple man, you know? I mean, listen, my husband keeps this place at 70 degrees and I'm in a fucking sweater,

okay? It's cold in that apartment. So he finds Emma crying in her living room. And she is, it's because Bruce gave her a $5,000 bonus. This is the smallest of all the bonus. is $5,000. She'd only work there a week. So she was able to catch up on all her bills, get her rent caught up.

Like this was a win-fall for her. This was like life-changing money. Yeah. Yeah. But it was a percentage. The whole deal was that he did the percentage of give back that his wife put in. So his wife put in 50%. So he gave that 50% of profit and divided amongst all of his employees that were

they are based on their time. Based on their tenure. So, Bruce is a good guy, you guys. He is, he is a good for him about a lot. Logan is a great guy.

Yeah. I mean, yes. It's a very like hallmark family, uh, for sure. Like they're just, they're,

it's a very sweet small town. Everybody knows them and they're like giving and caring and this little small. It is like, it just giving it like feels. Like that's, yeah. Yeah.

But it's also like a sort of suspense belief because, you know, they're a woodworking shot. that now he gives, you know, $100,000 beds that he has to fly across the country to, like, install himself and then $5,000 bonuses to your secretary who's been there for, like, a week and a half. Like, you know, it's, it's, the money, I leave something to be questioned, but, um, well, don't they have, they have, the math is a math for me, right? But don't they have two divisions?

One is, like, a processed furniture kind of, yeah, and I usually custom. And then the custom. And I, I mean, that's more believing. to me because it's it's like big box store, right, for the furniture. But there's only seven of people that work there. Yeah, but it's more of a ship out. Well, I guess they, I guess they like distribute like the catalog. But yeah.

So Emma's over the moon. She's so happy. And she's like, I can take you to breakfast. Can I please take you to breakfast? Like she's offered. I want to buy. So I want to pay. This is the first time I've been able to do this ever.

He says, yes, that sounds great. and she says, I want to buy a car battery, and he says, I'll install it. And she gets weird. And he's like, you're going to let me. Like, they're starting getting, they're getting past this exchange thing where it's like, we can do nice things for each other. So then he starts thinking about how he's already bought her a ring, an engagement ring, which it's like, Loan.

Let's slow down, buddy. No, it's the love. Insula, but then he slows down. But then he does say, I do need to slow down because I've been taking better care of her pussy than her heart. And I need to do better. Yeah. That was the way. I mean, this guy. Hallmark all the way. All the way. I have no word. So anyway, Emma wakes up at his place Christmas morning and they run down to open presents and she opens a jewelry box and I'm like, oh, Logan, no, you didn't. There comes. Yeah. But he didn't. He bought her a diamond necklace instead. He's

holding on to the ring. He is slowing down. And then she gave him a bunch of of books for his library. It was all very, very sweet. Then his secret Santa gift was from the secretary. What was her name? Marianne. Marianne. Yeah. So she gave him a bull moose call. Funny because he's like a rainbow. Funny because he was the, yeah. Redding. Running in the China. A running bull moose. Yeah. So he has more gifts for her. And so of course there's another blindfold. And some stripe sucks. And he has her put. those on. And these are the expensive socks.

These are the stockings. Oh, yeah. They go thigh house. I got these at Target in the Christmas bin. And they go out to my gosh. And the eye mask is velvet. And then she realizes he put a robe on her when she woke up that matches. So he's sneaking some gifts on there, but she's not hating it.

They have really hot Christmas sex. And Emma asked Logan if he's ready to catch her. And he says, are you falling? and she says so hard. You guys. And he tells her, right here, baby.

And she tells him she loves him it's the best Christmas ever. And it's all hot cocoa's. All right. So, Sappy. Sappy. So then we fast forward one year

to the end of the epilogue. Emma, she held out. She did not move in with him until three months before the one year mark. So. You guys do the math.

Nine months later. Nine months. All right. Thank you. I do not math. That is not part of my job. I'm just here to talk. So she's reading in her library room and Logan's watch.

On like, she's like on a shave. Stomach on a shave. Like reading her book with her feet, you know, up and down. Like very cute. Yeah. It's very cute. They're madly in love and they get really horny. And Logan says, wait.

I have, you have to open my present because it's Christmas. He gives her a note that says, open the box, put on the ring and say you'll marry me. She says yes. Oh, did you think she wouldn't? Yes. No, she would. This was, uh, this was very adorable. Well, and her library was totally full of books and she was just lounging in there.

The library he didn't know he was building for her, full circle, very cute. I know. This was, this was adorable. It was like, it was like reading a, like a smutty hallmark movie. It was a smuddy hallmark movie. Small town, lumberjack, you know. Lumberjack.

Rich, rich, rich, rich, lumberjack. He's not a lumberjack. He's a carpenter. Carpenter. Well, he was a lumber sexual. Lumber sexy. Yeah. Yeah.

No. No, it's not. Carper. Carpet. Carpent. Crepan. Carp. That's a fish.

It doesn't work. It's not a thing. A lumber sexual. A carpenter makes things with wood. He's still a lumber sexy. He's still lumber sexy. This was definitely smutty hallmark, for sure. You have the unusually rich, you know, lumber sexy guy, you know, the only worse flannel.

The poor woman, you know, who's just trying to make it vibe. It's really responsible. The very picture hallmark dad. There's a dog. There's a dog. Christmas, Christmas snow. Christmas time, little town. Yeah.

No, her car broke down so he saved her. Our battery's dead. Yeah. Secret Santa Ana. Yeah. And still loves. And then they're happy at the end. Yeah.

Happily ever after. So, Lindsay, you got your ATA. I do. I love a good ATA at the end. If they don't, if they don't end well, I refuse. If there's no ATA or. it has to. Up stars.

That's the whole point. So how many stars would you give this one? Okay. I did like this. I mean, get rid of like kind of the hokey, sort of hallmarky vibe. And he was kind of cringy.

He was kind of cringy. Oh. Like a couple times. Evil Santa with a big dick. I mean, so. Who's ever said that to you? And his running bull moose.

Like, I'm, There's some lines on this book, but it was super cute, and I did like it. So I'm going to give it three and a half. I'm not going to go quite four. It was, it was short. It was fast. It was easy. I feel like I say that for like most of our books, but it was super easy to read. And I did like it. Some cringy parts and not a ton of plots. Like it did feel very novella, like very short and just stringing together sort of these like kind of sex off. opportunities. So it didn't have a ton of plot, but it was cute and I did like it, but I'm still

going to give a three and a half for stars. And what do you think on spice? Spice was good, though. I thought they did the spice well. I mean, it was, it wasn't like a slow burn because his inner dialogue kept you going with the sex. There's no one track mind. There was there, and there was a decent bit of, you know, oral and, you know, fingering and everything before. But it did. But, you know, but, you know, But it wasn't like hot. We had to wait for the whole time. You had to wait for it.

So I'm going to give it three and a half. I'm going to give it three and a half spice too. Like it wasn't full throttle. But you know, you got what you came for. Yeah. Kim, what about you? You know, I'm always down for a good hallmark movie. I gave it higher on the stars because I thought it was so sweet.

And it was a quick read. And you just like, even when he was being. cringy, he was being a 20-some-odd-year-old guy, right? Because that's all he, that was his one track the whole time, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. And then it's like, he really, like, I was taking better care of her pussy than her heart. Who says that? That's so sweet. And it's some good character to this woman, you know? Like, he's growing. I mean, that. When you have that kind of an epiphany and it really, it makes you a bigger person. It's funny. It's wrong. Bigger.

You were on. Just Christmas tree got bigger. So I'm going to probably give it. I would give it a four because it is a sweet holiday sex romance. I don't know. I don't know. I thought it was super cute. Spice meter.

I mean, it was done well for what it was. Like I said, there were some parts where I was like, chop, chop, hurry up, let's go. Move on. Yeah, it was your virginity already. Right. It's almost New Year's. Yeah. So I can give it a three on the spice meter for me.

It's like she's already like dropping the ball. I was, I'm in a three and a half for the book. I thought it was maybe even a four. Like for what it was, I loved it. I loved it. And then I would say three on spice just because it did. I mean, minus his dirty thoughts. Like it did take.

a minute to get to the sex. But overall, I would recommend this book. It was super cute and fun and smutty enough that, you know, you blushed a couple times and... The good stocking stuffer. It is a good stocking stuffer. That's true. Yeah.

It was cute and it was on theme for the time of year and it was just smutty enough. Yeah. I love it. So thank you. This is really fun to recap with you guys and looking forward to doing another holiday book with you soon. Yeah, y'all have a good holiday.

Yeah. All right, happy reading. Thanks for tuning in. We hope today's episode was the climax of your day, leaving you breathless and wanting more. Until next time, remember to indulge in the pleasures of life and to keep the passion alive. You can find more tantalizing episodes at boozybookgasms.com.

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