Boozy Bookgasms - Happy Hallowpeen!

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

HallowPeen by Holly Wilde Join cousins Jen, Kim, and Lynn for this special edition as they gourdge on this spicy and sticky  Halloween tale where inanimate objects go bump—and grind—in the night. It’s equal parts punny, spooky, and smutty.    Signature Cocktail: The Drunken Pumpkin Ingredients: 3 oz Whipped cream or marshmallow flavored Vodka  8 oz Pumpkin Spice Latte Whipped Cream Ground Cinnamon cup of ice Fill a cocktail shaker or mason jar with ice. Measure pumpkin spice latte and pour into shaker. Measure and add vodka. Put the lid on the shaker and shake vigorously until the shaker starts to frost. Pour into two glasses. Top with whipped cream (optional) (I used a spray can of whipped cream) Sprinkle ground cinnamon on top of the whipped cream. Garnish each drink with a cinnamon stick, if you like.  You can substitute different vodkas if you don't have whipped. Also if you can't get Starbucks PSL you can use pumpkin spice coffee creamer or pumpkin ice cream. Both are decadent.  

I gotta say it feels good to be back on the mic. All right, I'll take a sip too, Lindsay. Good call. Me too. I'm going to take a sip too. Yum. Pumpkin. Whipped vodka.

Like a crackling fire. It's gorgeous. Yes. I did. I like that. Yes. Buckle of literature fans. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today.

Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride. Hello, and welcome to the boozy bookgasms Halloween special. I'm Jen. I'm Lynn. I'm Kim. Today we're going to recap and review a classic horror novel called Halopine by Halli.

Right, wait, classic. Classic? Well, soon to be a classic. Oh. Oh, we're going to make it a classic. But before we add extra pumpkin spice to this latte, what are we drinking tonight? Wow, this is one gorgeous drink. It is the drunken pumpkin. It's got some of my favorite things in there. It's got some pumpkin latte, or in my case, pumpkin spice creamer, some whipped vodka, some whipped cream, and some cinnamon on top.

It is like eating a piece of pie. It's delicious. Yum. I know. It's like decadent, although this is the first time I've ever even heard of whipped vodka, which is apparently a thing. I have utilized that in like a holiday punch before it, and that was a big hit. I like it. It's a nice martini glass. In a rough moment, I can drink it on its own. It's really good. I don't know it after a rough day. I don't know it. Yeah. Okay. Well, our story is set in North Carolina in the town of Hollow Springs, population of less than 1,000 people. We open with a group of friends sitting around a fire pit, having some drinks,

and telling spooky stories, very fall vibes. Asha is our female main character, and she doesn't love this stuff. She says if she were in charge of story time, everyone would be sharing adventures with masked men who give out hand necklaces and call you princess. So I say we go to Asha's Halloween party next time. That sounds better than this party because it was just a bunch of horror stories around a campfire, which I do not like anyway. It just feels murderville. They're like basically asking to get murdered, right? Right. It is the start of every horror story. Yes, and Asha does feel like this year's a little spookier than most. She's been on edge all night. One of the guys around the fire just finished his story and says, who's next? And we hear this quiet,

creepy voice say, I have a story to tell, but I don't even know where to start. And we meet Claudia. Claudia has long black hair and a pale complexion. She's kind of creepy looking. And she says, this isn't a ghost story. This really happened to my friend Samantha five years ago and really scared me. In fact, I'm still a little scared today. And apparently Samantha was really into some weird shit. What was she?

She was into life. She liked to connect with the spirit world and into paranormal rituals. And she decided to turn her passion into a payday and started filming her rituals to grow an online audience. A scary influencer. Yeah. I mean, everybody's trying to be an influencer these days. Yeah. Everybody's got a gimmick. So most of the time, nothing really happened beyond some like blinking lights until this night. So Claudia starts getting visibly upset. In the Fallow Spring. Population less than a thousand. Less than a thousand. With a lot of dark foresty areas. And a girl who doesn't know where to start, but yet jumps right in. And so Claudia says,

To the group, have you ever asked someone to spell eye cup? I know why there's only a thousand people in this town. One of the guys is like, I see you pee, ha, ha, ha, ha. Right? Because we're in fourth grade. Claudia says, Dean, shut the fuck up. That's not funny. She then lets out a blood-curdling scream and says,

Samantha thought it was funny too, right up until it was too late. And as the story goes, you say these words three times and the monster of the hallows comes out to claim you. Well, what is the monster of the hallows called, Jen? Oh, that's a great question, Jen. Do you tell what is the monster of the hallows called? I feel like you're burying the lead here. He's called the Halapine. Of course the Alapin.

Hence the name of our book. So what happened to say? What happened was? She's set up her seance outside of an old mill with her live cast and spelled I-C-U-P three times. Yes. And the live cast cuts out to static and nobody ever hears from her again. Hence Claudia's distraughtness. Like that's why she's-lawful.

Claudia is like skeptical of her friend Samantha's things, but she watches her friend in support. And so she's watching the live feed, it goes dead. And she thinks, oh, she's just pulling. in a prank, goes to bed and the next day, Samantha has not been found. Samantha is gone and Claudia says nobody knows what happened to her except the halopine. And the partygoers think this is hilarious and they start making jokes. And one guy says the halopine comes out and jacks you off, refusing to leave until your peen is as hollow as his soul.

Moa, wah, wah, wah, like so they're all just making jokes. And Dean stands up and says, that sounds like a good time to him. and he starts saying, I see you P, I see you P. And before he can say it the third time, Claudia attacks him like a wild banshee. She claws at his face, making him bleed. And it takes like five people to get her off him. Like, she really frees. This is so bizarre.

This is the weirdest thing. She's like a Wednesday Adams person sitting at the fire camp. Nobody really knows who she is. She's rando. Right? She's so rando. She's random. Nobody knows.

They're like, weird girls. We don't know her, but whatever. Also, I raw dog this book and I'm like, is she a ghost? Like, is she paranormal? Like, she was an awkward character. I tried to tell you. Yeah. Kim read this first and tried to talk to us and we were like, shut up.

No, shut up. I have so many questions. I'm like, don't talk to me about it. She's like, but I really want to. I don't know. But when I was the last to finish it and all I could say was what the actual fuck did we just read? What? What?

Oh, crazy. So Claudia, Claudia, runs off and Asha is a really nice person and she feels bad for her. So she fills up a couple beers from the keg and goes to follow her. Claudia is like really upset. Like why would Dean tempt fate with the Halapine? Because he knows in Hollow Springs you shouldn't do things like that. This is like an old wives tale in Hollow Springs. Like this isn't, she just like made this up. Like they've heard of the Holopin, all of them. Yeah. They have a lot of weird. I mean, it's like folklore. It's North Carolina, right?

So it's very folklory. They're all kinds of things. They're superstitions. There's like a lot of weird things that you're kind of like, why do you keep doing it? Right. Yeah. Okay. But I assume it's like when we were kids and you had to go in the bathroom, turn off the lights and say Bloody Mary.

Right. It's the same. However. I still wouldn't do that. Right. But Bloody Mary seems a lot more credible than I see you pee. Palapine. I just felt like it was lacking in.

fear for me. Or creativity. Perhaps. I don't know. There was a creative writing prompt here. There with something. She hit the mark. Fourth grade essay. This book knew exactly what it was. She committed to the theme throughout. She did in fact. I will say it was consistent. So Asha finds Claudia on the porch and sits next to her. She's talking to her while she's stroking a pumpkin that she thinks in her head, has a wickedly handsome grin carved into his face. And I believe the literal term here is a foreshadow.

You think? She's attracted to the pumpkin in this moment. So Claudia's droning on about the Halapine and how it's not just a superstition and blah, blah. And Asha ultimately gets convinced to summon the demon herself so that she can ask him what he did with Samantha. She was convinced to do this by Claudia in order to go find her friend. Because Asha didn't believe her. And she's like, but you, you could do this. Yeah, you first, bitch. No. Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, Asha doesn't think it's going to work.

But she agrees to do it basically to get Claudia to shut up. Claudia is very dramatic and everybody thinks she's kind of annoying at this point. Asha goes into the bathroom and chants ICU P three times and gets a very, eerie feeling while she's in there. And she rips back the shower curtain, very scary movie style, and nothing's there, but she still feels kind of creepy. So she, like, grabs the soap dispenser as a weapon. And she goes out into the living room to report back to Claudia, but Claudia is not there. In fact, nobody is there. What? Yeah. I mean, you really even believe. Ravey, like a stranger things episode. Exactly. The whole bathroom thing, they drag that on. Like she does it. Yeah. She's

scared. She thinks there's a monster in the tub. She thinks there's a monster in the mirror. Like if you're going in here, if you're going in for this and you're like, I don't believe in any of this. Wouldn't you be like, let me just open the shower curtain just in case so that I know nobody's in here filming me being an idiot? And then the soap dispenser, that's your big go-to. She picks that up a couple of times in this. Yeah. To protect herself, which is kind of funny. But it is kind of like the upside down and stranger things. I mean, it's the exact same house, but no one's there and it's a little creepier. Asha walks past the candy bowl and it has one of those censor hands that like when you walk by it's like,

which goes off and she's like, of course the candy dish is working. And then someone says, that's not the only thing that worked tonight, boo. So the deep voice not only makes Ash's heart stop, but it also makes her pussy clinch. Oh, no. Yeah. This is getting interesting. It's something. But it was a bit like the twilight zone.

Like she's in this house with all this party happening around. She walks out dead silent. And then creepy, sexy voice behind you. And she looks up to see none other than the Halopine. Well, yeah. In fact, there's three Halopines. Well, because there were three pumpkin heads on the stairs. Yes.

And she says, oh, my gourd. The carved pumpkins lighting the stairs have come to life. They're all buck naked. Sexy pumpkins. They are there. They're tangerine colored. Their paprika is the way it's written in this literature. I thought she said tangerine later in the book.

Oh, she probably did. This book is a lot of puns. A lot of really, really cheesy puns. But I was here for all of it. I was very entertained. They are described as raw muscle with deep paprika skin. Their fingernails are manicured pumpkin seeds. Asha can't help but stare at their giant gourd hood because they are naked.

Yes. With their gourd hood. They're hanging out. And the halapine says to her, my eyes are up here. Like it bothers him a little. Like he feels objectified. He's embarrassed. I don't think he feels objectified.

He's giving her a razzin. And the amount of ways this woman can describe a penis is so incredible. This is the creative writing prompt that she got. How many different ways can you. you describe. Describe a pumpkin penis. A pumpkin man penis. And his hotness

with his head and his jackal anontern face. And his triangle eyeballs. His triangle with lights in them eyeballs. I mean, it's so weird. Can we just pause?

It's weird. It's like a jacal lantern's looking at me. Like his carved eyebrows are doing this. I've just. But you can see their abs. Weird.

Weird. Weird. His ass is two pumpkins. I don't understand. Like if he had just turned into a very hot orange man, fine. But a pumpkin man, every time she described it, it made it less sexy because I was like, I'm getting into this. Okay, okay, okay, great. Oh, you're looking into his jacquillanard face. Now I'm not, now I'm not mouse anymore. And his creepy smile. Yeah, no. I'm with you there. She would lose me. I'd be like, okay, okay, I'm on board. I'm getting past it. I'm past the jackalian thing. And then they had triangulized and I was like, oh, that really could be a deal breaker. This train passed me by. I was never on board with this. I kept going, like, what's his penis? Is it like a squash? Is it like, oh, but then there, the penis had like a. Oh, we're going to get to that. The vines. A vine. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Weird. So, okay. So we meet Jack's Gordian hell. These are their names. I love their names. Okay. Jolly. Jackalant. Gord. Obviously. That was adorable. It was cute. These are our three pumpkin men. And they explained to her, you did match. and it brought you to this world. And they said, it's been five years since someone has come over. And she asks, oh, are you talking about Samantha? And they say, yes, it was Samantha. And she's at another house with her own halapine. There's lots of jalapine. Ash is trying to ask them how she would go about getting back home. But all she can think about is how close their pumpkins are to her pie.

Her words. She's so good. It's so good. So bad. All of the ways in which she brought in Halloween themed word choices was hilarious. It's like sitting next to your perverted uncle. That's exactly what it's like. Who's trying to not be a pervert,

but yet everything is pervert. But no, he is, we all know the person in our family. You have a family member like that? We do have a family member like that. Not an uncle, but yeah, I know exactly who you think of. He's somebody's uncle. Somebody's uncle. Yeah.

That's true. There's always one. It's always one. Sometimes there's three. So basically, if she wants to go back, a demon named Man Candy has to orchestrate it. Everyone who lives in Hallow Springs knows about Man Candy because it's a legend in these parts. At the stroke of midnight, if there's a single piece of candy left in a candy dish in Hallis Springs, man candy comes to give you a tricky treat. If Man Candy gets summoned to Hall of Springs, he will bring back the people that are in Halapine world, but nobody has left candy out for him a decades. No, because he's like a scary figure in their lore.

So, but here's the weird thing about this. It just can't be in a bowl or container. It can be all over the countertop. It can be anywhere else, but it cannot be in a container. Right. Yeah. We see no story gap here. I mean, I see a pretty big one. Thank God. This was the least story gap of. the entire book, okay? Like, at least there was a rule. There was a guideline. I'm pretty sure some fat child made up this rule so that they can eat all the candy out of the bowl. Not a single piece left. So, yeah, they can pour out the candy onto a flat surface. It just can't be in a curved container. Yeah, made zero sense. Why they put it in a container ever at all with this type of

danger. Well, it just has to be, yeah, just at midnight. Well, it has to be movable. You're right. You're right. What am I thinking? You got to move it. So Asha thinks she needs to figure out what being in their realm means, but clearly their only plan is to fill her up like a glass of pumpkin juice. So she feels like she should be looking for Samantha. But all she wants to do is get back in the middle of their pumpkin patch and have them plow her field deep into the night. These are all quotes from the book. I did not write this.

Here you read me these things. They're so uncomfortable. This is my specialty. I make everybody cringe. It's more cringy now. The halopines start getting hansy on the porch. And then Jax throws Asha on his back, piggyback style, and says, let's take her inside and shore how we peen in peen town.

So awful. I know. But you know what? With all of this, they go inside and she's like, just not in the bedroom. It's her only request. She's in an alternate universe of her best friend's house. Yeah. So she doesn't want to have sex in her best friend's alternate universe room.

I thought that was very nice of her and very respectful. It was random. I thought it was weird. I was like, what? That's where you draw the line? That was probably the most adult thing in his phone. I mean, if they're that close, I guess it'd be like being at your grandma's house. Like, you don't want to go in that better.

Yeah, whatever. So anyway, the guys make a palette type of love nest. on the floor and they start a fire in the fireplace and they really make an effort to set the mood. They're seducing her. I thought it was very sweet. They have a seduction thing going on. And Ash is admiring the view as they prepare the love nest. The view of their penises. She gets a better look at their peens, okay? So the thing that threw me off here was that there is a stem poking out of the top of their penises. It's like the vine at the top of the head of the Pumpkin. That feels like it could be painful. I think it pleasureed her more. Maybe it's like a piercing.

Yeah. Oh, Kim. There we go. Now, I need to do here, Kim. I'm trying to be open to this. I'm not, by the way. She was not in pain. She wasn't in pain. She enjoyed it. No, I should call that out. Yeah, that was never a problem. But I got stuck that. To me, this might be. That's where you got you stuck. This is one of the parts where I was like, oh, wait a minute. Not the pumpkin patch. That she's having sucks with a pumpkin. Yeah. Okay, I mean, everybody's different. Everybody's different. Okay, I can't believe that's what it was. The seeds is what got me. The fingernails?

Oh, in the cup. Seeds. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get there. The guys are huge. Like, their heads almost touch the ceiling. The top head, not the bottom head.

Asha says, there's no GMOs here, just pure organic power packed with devilish delights. So bad. So two of the pumpkin men start making out with each other. So I guess you could say there's some sword crossing, or should we say, gourd crossing in this book? Boo. They're in love with each other as well, the three gourds. Of course there. Yeah, this is like a reverse harem.

Like we get a real quick reverse harem plot here. They lay Asha down. and she says they eat her like a candied apple. She begs them to claim her. And like Halloween decorations hitting the shelves in July, they don't make her wait any longer. The lines in this book. Oh, my God.

The orgy to me, like, I had trouble with the logistics of it. Or gorgee. Should we call it a gorgee? It was a gorgie. Yeah, that's what I called it. Yeah. Every time. I don't know if it just was the writing.

Could you guys picture this? I think it's because they're fucking pumpkins, Jen. Oh, do you feel like that's where we got stuck? Yes, I think that's where you got lost along the way. They're pumpkins. They're corn. How it all worked with the beginning of the sex scene was hard to. I couldn't picture it.

I didn't go back and try and picture it because the pumpkinness of it was really where I just couldn't get past that. So maybe I could if I tried harder. I'm sorry. It was strangely erotic. What? Wait. This book was spicy. Mine off the penis.

Yeah, well, you've got to make some concessions here. You don't. You don't have to screw a fruit or a vegetable. Listen, Kim, they were hot in tangerine colored and wanted to do her. Pretty good. And she really liked that, you know, the throat necklace thing and the she was primed. Hey, every girl in this book is ready to go. I'm going to say that right now.

It's a small town. Small town life. There's not a lot to. Yeah. So I was able to determine that she was giving one of the pumpkin men a blowjob. Definitely. She said his semen tasted like nutmeg and cinnamon mixed with toasted pumpkin. If only.

Basically, like, sucked him off and they got like a pumpkin spice latte. That's amazing. That was my favorite part of this book right there. Pumpkin seeds. Many chocolate chip sized pumpkin seeds. But I mean, she could chew him up. It's fine. But what about when it's in your vagina?

Like it's not like a watermelon seed. It doesn't grow. It's fine. How do you know? Well, I don't. But it'll grow in your vagina either. Not that you should test that out. No, it's like when you eat a watermelon seed, they tell you as a kid, it'll grow in your stomach. Uh, yeah, that part was weird. Um, so there. Just right go glow right past that. She'll cut that out. So then she said, Jax fills her pie with pumpkin spice. They all snuggle up after it's over and Asha fades off to sleep just as the clock strikes midnight. That part's important. They have sex and they like basically orgasm as it turns midnight and she thinks there's like an earthquake. The whole place shakes. And they're like, wah! And then cut scenes.

So we end there at midnight. And now we're back in the human realm at Ash's best friend Casey's house. So she was the one throwing the party and the party's still going strong. and they realize that Asha has disappeared. And of course, Claudia is a hot mess. And everyone's annoyed with her. And she's, it's all my fault. I asked her to do the eye cup ritual.

And Casey thinks Asha just slipped out, kind of shoes Claudia over to the couch. And she's getting anxious to get everyone out of her house before midnight, which is in 10 minutes. And she also needs to make sure she hands out all the candy because, you know, man-bag candy. Or get it out of the bowl at the very least. We don't want him to show up.

she's got 10 minutes. We don't know what man candy does, though, other than just comes to the realm. He's just scary. He has an aura of a bad character. She decides whether or not she wants to bring the cushions in from outside. If she has enough time, she says, I'm going to leave it. She just wants to go and get the candy. It's all on the counter.

It's not in a bowl. Except there's one bowl that has one piece. Very last. At 1159, she realizes she just missed it. And as she's trying to grab that last piece, sticky green fingers wrap around her wrist and propel themselves up her arm. Casey sees a handsome man made of candy. I envision like a sour patch man.

Like a gummy guy? Like a gummy guy. He had blue cotton candy hair. Like a troll doll. And like sugary sweet arms that were very, he was very muscular. I actually had a harder time with him than the pumpkin men. Like the candy man. Yeah. Oh, not me.

It was very hard to understand. Well, there is a picture of the Halapine on the cover of the book, so you get a good start there. No, just even in the word. This is a trick I use all the time when I'm reading a book, and I want to picture the characters I'm reading about. I go to Pinterest and I'll search up the book. Somebody's always made a board with the way what actors or whatever. They picked models anyway, and then I'm like, okay, now I can picture it. Like, I do that all the time.

Yeah, Halapine's not on Pinterest. That's weird. I tried because I wanted to put man candy. He's not out there. No, I picture like troll doll hair, blue. Yeah. Right. I picture smarties as the arms, you know, the smarty rolls as the arms and the legs.

I've got gumdrop feet going. There's some twizzler. He can just pull twizzlers out of like nowhere. Yeah. So he's magic. I had less issue with the Candyman guy than I did the Gordes. The candy. man feels sticky. Candy man had like a fort tongue and he was very sticky. Yeah, we're going to get there. Okay. So Man Candy says trick or treat, baby girl. And Kelsey looks into the green gumdrops of his eyes. And says, she really liked his eyes. I'll take a treat. She does question. I mean, not for long. Like we get right to the point. Small town. Okay. Small town. Not a lot going on there. Man Candy takes Casey to the bedroom and ties her to the bed with long candy rope.

like you said. He pulls him out of the air. It's more of the same punny phrases in this scene that we got with the Halapines, so I will spare you. That's nice of you. Generous. Man Candy has this lollipop sex toy. Oh, actually, I was okay with this part. I was too. I was not upset about this. That's a UTI waiting to happen. He edges her with 30, or like he edges her 30 times. I feel like that's more of a trick than a treat. But then he finally brings. her to climax with, like you said, Lynn with his forked tongue. And this is where you lost me because that's gross. The forked tongue was too weird.

Well, it's like demon-y. Right. Or a snake. I'm like, why? Do you need a lizard of some sort? That part wasn't hot at all. Which sort of is a foreshadow to our first book of next season. Stay tuned.

So afterwards they're talking and they're eating some candy ropes because they're a little hungry. They just kind of eat the ropes. Yeah, she can, eat her way out. He ties her to the bed with Twizzlers. And then to get out, she just eats the candy. She was always able to escape, really, if she wanted to. But Mandy candy gets his feelings hurt in this conversation because Casey tells him it was an accident that she left the candy in the

bowl and she didn't actually call him there on purpose. And apparently he's quite sensitive. He was like, he felt he was an instill of and he thought she didn't want to have anything to do with him. He thought finally someone called me here. Someone loves me. Because he's been lonely for decades because of the superstition, no one's left candy out for him. He's the one that can bring people from Halupeen back to the human world and no one's called him. He gets up to leave because he's, you know, heartbroken. He's sad.

And Casey says, wait, they make up as he slobbers her with kisses and leaves a cinnamon trail of saliva all over. Nice. And they go back to the bedroom and Casey's mouth waters when she's. She sees his candy hood. And it's actually made of rock candy, which sounds very painful. Painful. But the interesting part of this for me. We haven't gotten there yet.

Good Lord. Was that he used a condom. Oh, yes. It's a lot of sugar. Because she would go into a diabetic coma. The pumpkins did not use a condom, if you'll recall. They filled her with pumpkin spice. They put their chocolate chip pumpkin seeds.

His balls are made of. of jawbreakers and his jizz is gummy bears. How does that even work? Well, and then he takes off the condom full of gummy bears and then sees her one. It's like a snack. Yeah, she calls it a cummy gummy. Oh. But anyway, because he came at midnight, he can.

I'm going to drag this out a little longer. Oh, God. It's a special, Lindsay. It is a special. This is the most special book I've ever read. This episode could have been 10 minutes when they finished KCS. What happens now? And Man Candy says whatever she wants and she asks him to stay.

So he explains that when he offered a trick or a treat, it was a payment to him to return her two friends from the other realm. Asha and Samantha from five years ago are actually in Casey's bad house. Yes. And at first they think Man Candy's a bad guy because their Halapines warned them. But Man Candy explains he can take them back to Peenland any time as long as he gets payment. And Casey goes, I'm good for it. Volunteers as she's like munching on his condom gummy bears.

Comey gummies. Then she has a sex marathon with him while the other two sleep in the guest room. That's how we end this story. in the living room and they decide, are we going to go back or not? And they're both like, yes. And then they hear them fucking. And she's like, do you think he'll take us back? And she says, I think my friend is repaying. She's putting some visits in the bank. I just, I hope there isn't a sequel. That's what I'm saying. There's multiple books. There are multiples. There's like an airplane one called AirP. No, no, no, no. Apparently the whole thing is she writes books. So I'm inanimate objects that become sex objects. She has a whole portfolio. Which I have no desire to read, by the way, none. I did my time.

I feel like I put in my time as well. I think we're going to have to veto Jenny if it ever comes down. They will never come back again. But were you entertained? No. I was like, why am I still reading this? I was entertained. I had lots of questions about anatomy.

It was like young boy humor. Yes. A little bit. A little bit. Or like creepy uncle porn. It was rough. I don't know if I want those pumpkin seed things up in my day. No.

Well, you know what? I wouldn't want gummy bears up there either. Well, he wore a condom. Maybe they all should. You couldn't think of anything else other than rock candy. That says seem painful. So painful. There's so many better candies that you could have utilized in the

that situation. Dipsticks, remember those? Oh, yeah, sure. What'd have been a good one. That would have been appropriate. Me and Candy's anatomy was like, I had lots of questions. I really had a hard time. And then it ends. You don't really even have like a natural conclusion because Paula Pee in the reverse harem, that just ends like in an earthquake. And then she ends up with the guy in the bedroom to prepay. And then that's it. I felt really cheated. What more do you need to know, Lindsay? Well, like, why didn't Samantha come back ever? Oh, because. Because me and candy never brought her back because no one.

Oh, because no one paid for it. Right. Because they were all scared of the candy in the bowl. But she was happy in her environment. Yeah. And she's going to probably go back because Casey is prepaying for her travel with the gummy bear semen. No, we are not doing it again. No.

I feel like even they cringed with the gummy gummy. Had to. Yeah. I just, I feel like there's. should be like some kind of disclaimer apologizing to all of our listeners. So sorry. This tremendously long 92 page book. Last year's Halloween book.

Also weird. It was also fucking weird. It was also bizarre. The storyline was, granted, it was a little far-fetched as well, dragons, oxyticals. It was not that much better. There was some weird demony. We had a morgy and a gorgy.

Yeah. That's where we're at. Upside down sex and air sex and murder sex and... We had tentacles. Those came in handy. A whole other world. Actually, these are... This was a bit more campy, but love are very similar.

They were. Yeah, that one was a little darker. Now, who wants to start with ratings? I can't wait. Lynn, take it. Yeah, this was a two. Oh, that's generous. That was a two book.

And it gets the two because it was at least entertaining. The amount of different ways she could do. describe a pumpkin's junk was like amazing. Like, and then every time she'd describe it differently and I'd be like, fuck again, like she's just like, I would just like highlight it. I'm like, how many different ways can she describe this? So it was slightly entertaining in that way. I had lots of questions. I laughed my ass off. Yes. So it was funny. Was there any plot? No. Was there a shit ton of of plot holes? Yes. Like, why are you having sex with candy? The gummy. condom thing was fucking weird. I mean, the whole thing was weird. I have no real desire to read this again. And I would only recommend this to someone with all of these caveats. Like, sure.

This in a day if you just want to laugh and have like to spend reality. It is not going on my recommendalist. But it was at least entertaining. It's a good airplane book, right? Like I read it on a flight and was laughing my ass off. Like I was almost in the aisle. I was laughing so hard. And I'm going to go two and a half because I'm, I also was highly entertained. I thought it was hilarious. It was just a fun, campy read that entertained me. So for those reasons, I'm going to go two and a half. Okay. I gave it a two as well. I feel like she spent a lot of time with fourth graders to get some of these puns. Yeah, dad jokes for sure. It was rough for me to get through. The minute we did the eye cup ritual. That could have been more creative. It went downhill for me immediately. I could not get down with the pumpkins, the triangle eyes, the gumdrop eyes, the creepiness of it. And they were just in it automatically.

I'm going to have sex with a pumpkin. Yeah. And I want it. I want it bad. No hesitation. Immediately. Yes. Like I'm not going to look at our pumpkins the same way ever again.

I'm going out of town. I don't need to. Lindsay's going to the. the beach. Might not put them out this year. Not going to carve them. Where do they not celebrate Halloween? Like, that's where I'm going. Let's talk about spice. I gave it a zero. Can you do that? Can you give it a zero? If I could give it a negative, I would. There was no hotness in this for me at all. See, I disagree. I got a different score. I did too. Okay. I gave it a three on spice. Wow. Because the whole book was a about sex.

I didn't get that. Like, we got an orgy. We got a reverse harem orgy. Gorgie. Sorry, Gorgie. It's a gorgie. Please use the right terminology. I mean, the man candy, he was pretty good at what he did.

I am not going to call this a zero on spice. You know, I had a fan myself a couple times. Oh, my God. No, you did not. I also gave it a three, but you 100% have to just disband with reality. You kind of have to just ignore certain. things. But if you, if you could compartmentalize and just focus on the good parts, the sex was good. Yeah, the orgy, gorgie. And then you did have the edging with the magical lollipop.

That was kind of thought was pretty hot. And there were some hot scenes for sure. It's a 90 page book. Okay. Like if his tongue wasn't forked, that was awkward. You would have given it a four. Three and a half. Yeah. No. The various different types of cum just like unsettling to me. That was entertaining. And I did feel like that was probably one of the better. Oh, I made the sex that much less hot to me. I'm like, what? No, I was like, pumpkin lattes. Yes, please. I'm in. I'm not your VJ. She needs a shower after that sex. I'm telling you that because that's a UTI waiting to happen. Everything he did made her sticky. A lot of sugar. Diabetes. Yeah. Diabetic. Diopsy. But it was still fun. I laughed. So glad we got a chance to recap one. So before we close, I want to.

to give everyone an update on season four. The reading list is up on boosybookasms.com. So feel free to read along with us. Our first show of season four will drop on January 8th. And I know that sounds like a long time from now, but we do have 38 episodes published. So be sure to get caught up on seasons one through three. Send us your book recommendations and thoughts on the show. Follow us on TikTok, Insta, Facebook, and YouTube. And until we meet again, Happy reading. Happy reading. We hope today's episode was the climax of your day,

leaving you breathless and wanting more. Until next time, remember to indulge in the pleasures of life and to keep the passion alive. You can find more tantalizing episodes at boosybookgasms.com. Enjoy the ride, and we'll see you soon.