Boozy Bookgasms - How Many Brothers?

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Five Brothers by Penelope Douglas Let's talk about banging some brothers, shall we? Because there are so many brothers, this is a supersized episode. Spoiler alert, Jen has opinions!   Signature Cocktail: Swamp Water Ingredients:  Dark Rum, Blue Curacao, Pineapple Juice, Lime Juice, Midori Melon Liqueur and Mint Sprig for garnish   Combine 2 oz of Dark Rum, 1 oz Midori Melon Liqueur, 1/2 oz of Blue Curacao, 1 1/2 oz of pineapple juice, and 1/2 oz of lime juice in a cocktail shaker over ice. Shake vigorously and pour into a mason jar and garnish with a sprig of mint. 

So I want to talk about banging some brothers. You guys ready? This girl's a whore. I don't know how many times I said it. Listen, I'm still just disappointed. She didn't bang off five brothers, okay? I felt cheated. I felt cheated.

And I was waiting for her to fucking one. Technically, she didn't even do four because she never hooked up with Trace in the book. Oh, well, that's true. she all, but it's alluded to you, but she did almost do the, you know, the rape scene was very, like, cringy, like, why did it start that way? Thank you. Well, okay. All right. Don't, dude, listen, we did this before.

Let's not do it again. I don't talk about it long time. You guys are going to follow my agenda. Buckle up literature fans. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels. Collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride.

So, clutter at your fans, welcome. I'm Jen. I'm Lynn. I'm Kim. And today we are talking about five brothers by Penelope Douglas. But first, what are we drinking tonight, ladies? All right. Well, in honor of the location of most of this book,

kind of being in kind of backwoods, backwater, swampy, florists. We have the swamp water cocktail. It has dark rum, Midori, pineapple juice, fresh lime juice, a little dash, a blue carousel, which I think always makes it a drink a little swampy. A little blue. And definitely blue. And a mince spring. I have to say, like, it's a little sweet for me.

The dark run definitely cuts it, though. So it's not bad. I'm enjoying it. All right. I'm not minding it either. It's all right. Much like how y'all believe this book is. It's all right.

All right. So I heard a TikToker. Like there was one TikToker that was like really also visceral about Penelope Douglas. I don't go online and like spout it. But this one lady was like, listen, we all like ice cream. But if you go to the grocery store and the only kind of ice cream you like is vanilla, don't get mad because they carry chocolate. Just don't buy good chocolate.

I don't eat good chocolate. It's valid. It's valid. It's valid. Like, just get the ice cream you like. And I'm like, and then I had to, like, I had to sit back and be like, okay, this just isn't my brand. This isn't my flavor of ice cream.

Yeah, I'm going to do like a sandwich method where it's like, it's like good. And then you squeeze something in the middle and then you end with good, right? So I'm going to start with, I think Penelope Douglas does a beautiful job of writing a landscape. So I want to start by talking about the town because it really is a big character in the book and a big part of the book. So this is based in St. Carmen, Florida, which is a fictional town in Florida. And there's like a fancy rich side, which is St. Carmen. And then there's Sanoa Bay, which is literally the other side of the tracks. It's near the wetlands. So everyone who's on the St. Carmen side, the rich people, they're called saints. Everyone on the Bayside are called swamps. So we got ourselves like a little bit of a, it's giving a little 16 candles. A little west side story. Very west side story. Yes. Yes. So yes. It was so, oh my gosh. I didn't even think about that. But I love thinking about them like snapping. I mean, because we have some moments that are very theatrical.

and I think like that that helps let's give a visual. I'll just kind of start with our female main character. Her name I believe is pronounced Christian, but it's spelled Chris Jenner. I just want to be.

There's no nerve at the end. There's no nerve, but it is so much. So I really struggled not to, so if I accidentally slip and call her Christianer, please forgive, but it's hard not to just

speak. So do you think But do you think that was kind of a backwoodsy pronunciation or do you think it's so that when you're reading it, you're enunciating the Jen part like Christian. Like when he's, I listen to it. So while I'm listening to it, every time the oldest brother Macon says her name, it is literally Chris Jen. And it is always so deep and just very like curdling. So I'm wondering if she spelled him out to make sure. You as the reader would enunciate it the way she heard it.

I feel like every name in this book is fucked up. So like Chris Jen, there's no reason her shouldn't be. I mean, she fits right on. You got an FDA. Okay. Well, okay. Chris Jen is 18 years old. And this is where I struggle with Penelope Douglas books because the female

main character is always very young and innocent. And the partners that she is with throughout the book are significantly, in some cases, well, not significantly, but old enough to know better, you know. So we start out with her 18 years old, fresh grad out of high school. She's got a lot of problems for an 18 year old. She's just gotten out of an abusive relationship. It's physically abusive. It's mentally abusive. Her parents are in a nasty divorce. Her mother is trying to arrange a marriage for her to a wealthy man in town who will take care of all of them. who's way older. Way older.

But you know, like she's young and naive. Like, this girl is not naive. He is not naive. I don't know. She's naive, but she's 18. She's a baby, but she lives some life, this girl. Okay. Girls better cross the track.

Lastly, she's got two siblings that she is the mother figure, too. So the mom is, she's written as very absentee, kind of selfish. She's got boyfriends. I mean, the dad ran off with a girlfriend. Not ran off. He's in town locally with a girlfriend. Well, they thought he ran off and turns out he's a mile away with like his flusy girlfriend. It's just a little gross.

It's trashy considering they're on the same side of town. Yeah. We have the richies and the, you know, in the swamps. So we'll start the book. Chapter 1 really lays the groundwork for this novel. We're starting out in sort of a. scary movie theme. It's a foggy night. It's an eerie road. She's walking by herself. A strange man pulls up in a vehicle, starts cat calling her. She gets scared. And we think she is going to be

attacked by this man. And it turns out, you know, it's just her boyfriend, Trace, who she's been dating for six months. And he's the youngest Yeager brother. They do this whole, like, you know. Roll play. The role play thing. Yeah. Like a rape fantasy essentially. Reverse rape. A reverse. It's a reverse rate. Power. He's going to like rape. Yeah.

He's like going to rape her and then she takes over. Right. So she gets off and sort of like taking the power back or whatever. And she says she has this thing where she wants to overpower her or someone that's going to overpower her. That's like her kink. Mind you, this book is 560 pages and we never hear about this kink again. But in this moment the whole start the whole start of this book just that's the like listen like I didn't hate this book but this part the opening scene like really I really struggled to get past it like to get into the rest of the book because I just could not imagine what was coming next yeah yeah yeah yeah you're trouble getting past this and then once you did you zoomed through it and then was it yeah

so basically they're about to have sex and he reaches for condoms that he has nothing No protection. There were two left, I tell him. We were together three days ago. Are you serious? So she gets pissed off. Like, this is honestly the end of her time with Trace. She's like, really, he's kind of a fuckboy. We're going to find that out about him. She realizes he's been fucking around, just like she knew he always was. She gets mad and says, take me back to your place. I want to get my car and I want to go home. But she's not upset, though. It's not like she's kind of overly upset. It's like I didn't get off. Now I'm upset because I didn't get off. Not because you're with other people. You cheated on me.

You cheated because it's not like that. They have this weird. And we find out she has weird relationships with every single person in this book. But she has this weird relationship with Trace. It's almost like a fuck buddy slash brother. It's a weird thing. I don't know. She's upset almost that she's not upset, right?

Like they were basically friends with benefits. Like she really likes him. They get along well. They weren't exclusive. So she can't really be mad that he ran out of condoms. But she's realizing like, what am I doing here? Right. Like, why am I, you know, fucking around with this guy.

Waste of my time. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm now over it. Right. Like it was like kind of her like her brick wall. She's like, I don't need to do this anymore. I'm moving on.

It's not even that great in bed, which she. Oh, she's really. realize that like, yeah, basically, like, he has to fake it every time. So, like, moving on. Out of the five brothers, the youngest one is the worst in bed. Trace, yeah, the first. The guy she starts with, right? I mean, in the beginning. She starts low. I mean, I don't think it's a spoiler that, like, essentially we, like, assume she's going to sleep with all five of them, right? So, like, she starts with me. You do go in feeling like that's the right. It's definitely going to happen, right?

Yeah, because she, yeah, exactly. So the next scene is sort of sets that stage. Yeah. Yeah. So they go back. to the Yeager Mansion and this is where we meet all the brothers and I'll give you guys a quick rundown of our brothers. Okay. And wait, when you say Yeager Mansion, please note that this is the rundown in the swamp. And I also have issues with this that we're going to have to come back to because it's like they live in a cul-de-sac with every other thing on that side of the tracks. So they're like the mayors of the swamp. Right. And they have the quote-unquote mansion. They have a big house that's run down.

It's a Spanish-style mansion, and they do talk about at the beginning of this book, like the settlers in this area were a combination of Seminole and Spanish, and a lot of people in this town speak Spanish. And they do live in, I guess mansion is probably overstating it. But I think it's like a big house. I think it is a mansion. Part of the tracks. Yeah, absolutely.

It's just run down. Yeah. We meet the Yeager family. We find out that the way that Chris, Jen knows this family is through the there's five brothers and one sister. The sister's the youngest, which is her age, and her name is Liv. There is a prequel to this book called Tris Six Venom. If you're a Penelope Douglas fan and a Penelope Douglas lover, I would recommend reading it before this book. There's a lot of backstory in that novel that would kind of fill in some of the

gaps. Otherwise, if you're just in it for this book, this could be read as a standalone. Um, you I didn't read the prequel and I didn't think I missed anything. There was a few times where I'm like, I feel like that, you know, if I'd read the prequel, I could be keeping up because there are a lot of people in the book. But honestly, yeah, this is definitely fine as a standalone too. But there is a prequel and it does cover the sister's relationship. She is a lesbian and she's in a relationship with a woman named Clay that is really good friends with Christian.

And is a saint. And she's a saint. Yeah, that is important to know too. So then the next youngest brother is Trace. He is 20 years old and this is the one that she's just wrapped up her relationship with on the scary movie scene. He's basically a fuckboy. We don't get a ton of character development beyond this. He's very young.

He's kind of a fun loving kid who is just a fuck boy. Next is Dallas. He's 21. He's pretty cruel. He's got a big chip on his shoulder, especially about the. the saints and he is not very nice to Christian throughout the book. He's pretty deep though. Like he's,

he's very deep and dark. He's, yeah. He's dark. He's also a little gay, which I think we'll get into. He's by. For sure.

He's by. Yeah. But I was waiting for more development from him because she really does kind of tease it, tease it out and kind of make you wonder. And, yeah, just,

but then you never speak. Like, I was like, I'm waiting for Dallas's own book. Like he has, he was probably the more interesting of some of the brothers to me because I think it's like left me questioning. Yeah. He, he, he, there's more, there's definitely more depth to him or more to know. Then there's iron.

He's 24 years old. And I would say a pretty muchly named since he spends most of the book behind bars. He's my favorite. He's definitely my favorite. Never put the iron together. That's so funny. But I did like him. a lot too.

Like I was... He was the only one that was 100%. Yeah, he was 100%. The only one that was in your face. You knew what he was thinking at all types. He was up front. Yeah, I fucked up. I went to jail.

I deserve it. It's fine. I kind of like her, but I'm not going to ask her to wait. I mean, he was very like an average guy from the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah. He, I like it. He helped sort of like,

we'll get into this of course, but like change the dynamic of the story, right? And I think that he was like so well placed as a character to do that because of the middle child personality being just sort of like he was just an he was the connective tissue to get her like back engaged

you know. He literally like middle of the child talks. We're here to do five brothers. Like I mean all right, all right. We'll get it. I think I think looking back I can see like when I was reading it that I would think that but looking now having read the whole book, like, I think he was a pretty integral.

Okay, so then we have, okay, so we've met Trace, Trace is 20, Dallas is 21, Iron 24. Then we jump ahead four years to Dallas, or I'm sorry, to Army, he was 28. Army had the most heart. Army, Army is the father of a one-year-old child who the mother is a saint that basically gave birth to this child, dropped it off at Army's doorstep, And then never to be seen again, he's very heartbroken about it, and this is going to come back in the storyline. And then finally we have Macon. He's the oldest. He's 31 years old. He is an ex-Marine. He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. We really spend a lot of the book in Macon's downward spiral, right? Like he's got some mental health things going on. He's also a big advocate for the town. He has a lot of control. He owns a lot of property. And he wants the best.

for the Bay, he wants to make it better. And I do think it's important to mention what happened to the parents, because it is part of the, you know, it's a big part of the story. It's impactful. It's impactful, and it also tells you kind of why they have this, like, you know, mommy issues probably. Basically, the mother suffered from mental health issues and she died by suicide two months after their dad died in an accident. Army was the one to find her. And it's implied that she was suffering from postpartum issues throughout her pregnancies after she had Army. So all the babies, all the later babies, she was really unhappy. And none of them really have memories of her. So I think there's the introduction to our mommy issues, which I think is implied to why they are a little bit drawn to

Christian. So we meet all the brothers and it's a pretty chaotic scene. Christian and Chase are looking for her keys. He's sort of kind of trying to get her to stay, but he's like, you know, there's another chick there that's like, hey, what do you say? And it's just so gross. And it is, it is. But it's so, it's so, it's so like indicative of Trace, right? He screwed around, used all the consums. And then now it's like, okay, pick me, right? Hey, Christian, pick me. Or I'm going to go sleep with this other girl. Right. Like that's the situation. And the girl's like down to clown.

Do you want to join? What do you? You know? And she's like, ew. No. Instead, I don't go downstairs. You don't make a lot of good decisions in the book. This was a good one.

Good job. This house, this house, the Yeager house is like the frat house, right? So it's like, like Macon's the mayor of the bay, right? The swamp area that they live in and this big house. But it's five brothers living in this house. house and they're all young and hot and, you know, blue-collar workers and they come home and drink beer and fuck all day, right? So like you kind of are seeing the setting here that Christian, this 18-year-old saint is coming in and kind of a bit culture-shocks, but like loving it. Like she loves being there

and enjoys it. But she's over trace, right? Like now she's, no, she's, she's ready to go home now. She does love the family feel of it because obviously her family is in turmoil and the divorce. And so there's a ton of chaos. There's an alligator in the loose. There's a lot going on. She's like, give me my keys. I want the hell out of here. She goes out to her car. Her tires have been slashed. They've been slashed by an ex-girlfriend who's dated two of the brothers, I think. To Army and Dallas. Army and Dallas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her name is Ericelli. And she pops up a lot in the book. I don't think, you know, she's just kind of an ancillary character, but she pops up a little bit throughout the book. So, okay, so basically she's stuck there for the night.

And what, I mean, she's going to sleep on the couch and what's a girl to do, right? Like, we know what the girl does. In the middle of the living room. Why not? And you masturbate. I mean, what else are you going to do? On the couch, you know, the downstairs of the frat house with five brothers. Right.

Like, this makes perfect sense to me. And then she sees a dark figure. standing in the corner. He is, he's into it and he gets a little sexual. And so Penny D. A little. Penelope Douglas. I'm going to call her Penny D. if you don't mind. But she decides to write this as a very sexy scene. And this is, this is where I have had to compartmentalize this part of the book. Because to me, this was not sexy. To me, this was just rape. What? This man. That seems like that. aggressive. Okay, okay, hear me out and we can discuss. Oh, no. This man has unprotected sex with her non-consensual. She totally consented. She didn't, she did it. She did it not consent.

She did not consent. She was totally there for it laid her head back on his shoulder. She was like crying, like, here's how I'm feeling. I'm going to pour all my emotions out. He comes over. She did not say no. That's no way. But that's where you lose me is like she sits there and has a whole confessional with this guy about her life. And then he's like, okay, let's get down to it. And basically aggressively inserts himself into the picture. She did not say no. To me, the part that's non-consensual is, okay, whatever, Penny D, you call this hot and steamy.

Whatever. I feel like it was a little, she's 18 years old. you know, this man comes onto her. He's inside of her before she knows what's happening. And then he comes inside of her. I don't even know if we can say that on a podcast. We're going to do it. And then he says,

Someday, he says, he squeezes my throat. When you look, act and smell like a pristine pair of $1,500 heels. And you're married to a lawyer or a banker, taste like glue, and parades you around like his little trophy. He flicks his tongue over my ear, taunting me. I can wonder if it's my son. He's playing daddy too. Now, before,

a best to an 18-year-old child. But note that what he did was parrot exactly what she confessed. It's exactly verbatim of what she said that she was going to end up marrying somebody who smelled and tasted like glue. He parroted it back to her just before. Before I give her, to give her something to think about. Yes. I do not consider this rape. She 100% consented and participated and liked it.

Now, she did not know who, I mean, she didn't know who this was. This is now a stranger. We got ourselves of, who done it, ladies. Who done it? Who done it? And that is throughout the book. Like, she is wondering who did this because she liked it. so much.

Like, there's a whole way. You can see this is great. She assaulted me so I can press charges. It's a hook of gift. The best sarcasm of my life. Because she had never had one.

Remember, she had never had one. She always had to use some other means to get off. So here's this guy who comes up behind her. She doesn't know who he is. He's this dark figure who's, you know, brooding, carrying a beer. Speaking directly into her.

Talking very low. yeah like right on top and he comes up behind her and it's like bam and it's the best she's ever gotten off ever you know in all of her 18 years there's a vast orgasm she's had in all in all of her 18 years yeah yeah this is it the two guys she had sex with the abuser and the you know the brother who can't get her off but like and then and then he walks away and she's left reeling not because she's sad she says no who it is and she wants to know who this guy is and like but like can you imagine like you've just had this interaction we'll call it interaction you one someone might call it rape she just had this interaction with this guy and he gets up and walks away and she's like oh that

was great i don't need to know who he is yeah you know you just lay there let's put him away from the house and find out i mean yeah exactly what the plan is right like how else figure it out. We know it's not anybody. We know it's not Trace because he's never given her that good

of an orgasm, right? She knows think about it. She ruled him out pretty quickly. Yeah. So, okay, you guys may want

to spend more time on Iron. I was going to, so he's our next brother, right? Like, all the guys are coming on to her pretty strong or not.

Dallas. Dallas hates her. Dallas hates her. Dallas holds out until, but basically, iron is the next wanted to come on her very strong. And he realizes Trace messed up and maybe this is his way in. I was just going to say, listen, she had, he's going to jail. They had pity sex. It's 500 pages.

Let's move on to the next brother. But it sounds like you guys really feel like he was more. I think I think that's fair. I think that's fair. It was it was kind of a pity togetherness, let's say. but the fact that where she did it, when she did it, in the backyard on a lawn chair, out in the open. Who saw it? Who saw it from a window, a dark figure in a window, watch the whole thing happen. So to go back to her other thing, though, yes,

he is kind of a pity fuck. She likes him as a human, right? He's nice to her. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He changes her. tires. He's really good to her. And she, I mean, we haven't spent as much time on this. Like, she needs people to be good to her. You know, she's got a kind of a shit last few years of her life.

She had a good childhood and then, you know, her life fell apart, right? She needs people to be good to her. And he was really good to her. But for me, it was exactly as long as it needed to be because he was the transition to keep her in the house, right? In the bay, right? The bay. Like, so he, so then she's coming around a bit more. He really pulls her back in. So when he goes to jail, she doesn't have a reason to jet out of there. Right. Now, she's from a storytelling perspective, she's sort of that much more committed to this family, to this area of town. So I think he's important, but I don't know that we need to belabor him, but I think he's important to the story. But I think, like I said, he is the middle child. He is the link that ties the younger siblings

and the older siblings together. And he's the one that she latches onto like he's a family member. And that's why she starts getting really upset if Macon doesn't go to the jail or what he needs and what let's let's have a fun day for iron. Let's do this. So I think this was like you said, Lynn, I think this was her in to the family. She's she was like the sister and you sleeps around somehow. You alluded to this. You both alluded to this, right? Like they all have mommy issues. The mom. And then she this gives her a chance to start being sort of a mother figure to this family. They are. rudderless. You start seeing that. Their sister, they have a sister, right? She's off at college now. Like, Christian didn't go to school. She's 18.

Her sister, her friend is at college. She's gone, right? So now couldn't go to school. Her stuff was tied up too. Her money was tied. Her parents kind of used her college fund. Yeah. So now she's now presenting herself as this sort of mother figure or sister figure kind

of in this family. And they're not hating it. They're not really sure about it. They think she's going to go away. So they're like kind of hesitant. but they don't hate it. Basically, Iron Goes to Jail. And he becomes sort of an ancillary character in the background.

We hear from him a couple of times via phone. But ultimately, it's time for her to move on to the next brother. So that next one, I think, was meant to be Army. And she's also, like I've said, she's got a lot of turmoil going on. So one night she gets a call from the brother, her brother. He's at the country club with her asshole ex-boy. friend and he's doing cocaine and it's just sort of a random. He's 13.

He's 12. Like a whole different planet. All of the sudden, we're in the clubhouse doing cope. So she goes out. She gets the brother. Then suddenly armies at the country club and he tells her we need a waitress at the restaurant that we own across from our house. So this puts her in the bay for the rest of the summer.

her dad, all the assets are frozen because of the divorce. She really needs the money and she doesn't have anything else going on. So she agrees to be a waitress at the restaurant that they own that's across the street from their house. So she is in their peripheral for the rest of the summer and I think that's really important. And Army asked her to do it. All right. Well, there's also like some flirting around here, flirting, you know, in some sense of word. Like Macon's like the older brother.

He's still around, right? Like he's sort of a peripheral character at this point. Surly, misty, like kind of dark cloud. But nobody really knows what his deal is, why he's like this. He's raised all of his brothers, right? He came home for the military when his mom died. But he's floating around out there. Yeah.

But he ensues the fear of the bay. He is the unknown factor. Everyone is afraid of him. Yeah. Because he is the standoffish quiet. you know, until he says something, then everybody snaps to it and does exactly what he says because they're terrified of it.

But in a way, it's just for that whole community. They all look to him. Right. Right. For them. Yeah. But it just goes to build up Macon's character, right? Like, he's a flaw.

He's super flawed, right? But people look up to him. He's kept the bay intact, right? The saints all want to, like, take over the bay and develop the land. And he's really protecting it. it like all, you know, his whole subplot is protecting it. But okay, so

let's get back to the bay and the waitressing job. Okay. So Army and Chris Jenner are flirting quite a bit at this point and they are... Stop calling her that. Stop calling her that. So they've got a thing

but she's keeping him at Aronsling because she just slept with iron. So he invites her. They're all going to the strip club one night. She declines because she sees across the street that Macon's in the garage. So this part of the story gets really interesting. And I think, I know where you're going. I'm just like, well, actually. Okay. So she goes over to the garage. She's flirty with him. She's coming on to him. Oh, you need someone to keep you, you know, company at night.

And he's really standoffish and kind of grouchy. And she's trying to break through that. that rough exterior. But here's where we see she's 18 years old. Because everything she's doing to me in this scene is extremely childish. So she tells him, we should do a TikTok. She rambles on, why didn't you want to go to the strip club? And then she does a back bend, like a 10-year-old. She steals his keys and says, but I'm going to make these disappear and throws them

across the garage. She says she's going to whistle of a Maria. Yeah, like she's just at making a total fool out of herself. And then she strips down, just ropes soups random, like takes her clothes off, right? And she's like, hand me that hose. And she starts to masturbate with the hose in front of him. And she's trying really hard to be sexy. And she's like, oh, this is my favorite.

It's the best. And he's like not looking, but she can't work. She can't look away, but he doesn't really want it. Train her, honestly. Well, until he spices it up. Hey, I'm getting there. Okay. So she takes the hose and she's got it down there, right?

And she asks him to hold it, which he obliges. And then she tries to take it back and he throws it on the floor and he goes and picks up the vacuum. that they used to clean the cars. And he just real quick hoses it off in the thank God. I mean, no, tell it what they're

gentlemen. Not the most thorough sanitization of you have to be, but what else? He sticks it on her clitoris and gives her the best order of her life. Who fucking knew? I am

never. Not like you to try that out, I see. No. I mean, at least not the car vacuum. Like, maybe they make them special for that. But, like, I'm not going into a mechanic. It's not like, hey, fellas, you want to hose off the vacuum and get me going? Also, if you get back to the floor mats as well as. Is that like the extra special?

That's like a new air filter and a vacuum orgasm. An add-on to my car detail. Yeah. It's a $30 ad on. Happy ending. This scene was super cringy. I also... Ridiculous.

It was super cringy. But you know what? But to play Devils Advocate, I will say the shop back that was standing, that like, actually a lot of these smutty romance novels have a very, very young heroine, 17 to 20, you know. But they come off as adults, and you really can see them being adults, but then you realize her actually playing this girl as like a ditsy 18 year old was like I didn't hate that because it was like she is an 18 year old she's a fucking idiot like and she's trying to get this 31 year old guys at attention and she's being a fucking idiot and that's so normal if that were real so you know very cringy the sort of sex part of that but the fact that she played her as like a ditsy 18 year old who was insecure and didn't really understand like I didn't hate the way that she wrote that in this portion of the book It was age appropriate. She was acting like an 18-year-old would.

I would later in the book, we'll discuss, but I felt like it got a little off the rest. But his response, that was what I was going to say, Kim. Oh, my God. Was she, after her orgasm, she's coming down, she puts her arms around him, she feels connected to him. He hugs her, and just for a minute, she thinks like this is so excited, like he's into me. And then he says, that was really. relaxing. Thank you. And he tucks 20 bucks into our G-string and walk. The 20 bucks was fucking weird. It's weird. It was insulting. He was insulting through the whole. They all were.

They were so mean to her. I don't think Iron was ever mean to her. Iron wasn't mean to her. And Trace really did like her and was mean to her. He wasn't mean to her. They weren't exclusive. He fucked around me. He was never mean to her. And he was actually like her. Yeah. All right. They're buddy. Her buddy. Horrific. Well, an army. Like, we haven't gotten to Army.

No, Army was a dick. No. Army's out. No. Really? Yes. Share her. Oh, no.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Fair point. Okay. But I will say. Macon is damaged.

It is not Chris Jen's job to fix Macon. She is 18 years old. So I... You're trying to. make this slutty romance novel real. Like, oh, she's got to see my brothers. She's going to end up with one of them. And you're like, this is realistic. I don't know. I just, ugh, I struggle with Penelope Douglas. All right, I'm going to compartmentalize it. We're going to move on.

All right. It is time. It is time to talk about a little bit of leading army on. So, Chris Jen's humiliated after the situation, obviously. And she kind of decides like, okay, Macon's on the back burner. Armies in my face all the time. We'll see where this goes. So the first time they hook up is at a party at her place. All of the rich kids are planning to go to the bay to dig up the graveyard because they think there's some sort of treasure out there. And it's the Yeager graveyard. And she wants to distract them from that.

So she has this big rager at her place on the saint's side of town. She puts up a post on Instagram that is the asshole ex-boyfriend hanging out with their sister. And she knows it's going to lure them over there. But the reason she knows it's going to lure them over there is because the asshole went at their sister at one point in time. In the previous book, yes. In the previous book, he attacks her. And the girlfriend of the sister leaves a massive scar on this, on Milo's face. So they know she knows that if she does a social post on this, it's going to lure these guys.

to her house immediately. So she takes a picture and posts with Liv and Mila. She's luring them. She's luring the brothers there. She's being very crafty, right, so that she can sort of prevent sort of some sort of catastrophe, right? Because throughout the book, it's like... Manipulative.

Well, but like the year... She's also having a black light party, which I couldn't help but think about, like... Do you guys see that episode of the office where... Yes. That's so funny. Because that's what I was thinking too. I was like, what?

You're not the black light in the hotel room? And Dwight goes, it's either blood, semen, or urine. Michael goes, ugh, I hope it's urine. They're painting, it's not urine. They're painting themselves and using the black lights for the dance party. But this is interesting because there's this whole sort of undercurrent, right? The saints get whatever they want. The cops let them off for everything.

the swamps if they step one foot out of the line, right? So she's now protective. She's being mama bear. She's trying to protect them. So she lures all the rich kids to her house to party so they don't go to the swamp. And then she lures the brothers there so they can't like basically get in trouble and get arrested. So she, this is now her being like their protector. Yeah. And she locks up the asshole in the pantry. Yeah. She locks him up back. Exactly. She locks him up. And he can't get out. Like that I don't know what kind of like. It's like a two-door pantry, remember?

Because he opens a pantry and then beyond that is like the cellar. Like a present? Kind of thing. I don't know. So it would probably be some kind of seller. He's in there just screaming and like really frustrated. Meanwhile, Army, she tells Army everything. And then they dry home behind a plant in the middle of the party.

So weird. Nobody notices. Just turn away. Don't make it on. If you look at people, they're going to know. But is she, what? Yeah, but she refuses to sleep with him. Yeah.

I just live on two of your brothers. I'm just not ready. I'm just not ready. I can have a shower. I can be patient, you know. Check a show. Well, he didn't even have time to shower. Army, Army is the dad of the young.

He is a kid, right? So he also is kind of looking for like, a mom for him. He's looking for more. He has the most, in my opinion, the most heart of the brother. He is the most, like, infected in trying to make something work with her. Because I think he sees that she's a mother and she cares. And he's looking for that a long term. He's not looking for a hookup. He is looking for her feet. Yeah. But you do find out later that she looks similar to Dax's mom. Yeah. He really doesn't see Christian. He sees a saint. And he, He's trying to replace that person.

Replicate. Which is why it ultimately doesn't work out with them. But basically, we're at the party. Army lets run out of the prison behind the pantry, which is weird. But anyway, so he gets out and he's like, I'm still going to the swamp to screw up your graveyard. Okay. So he also, Army also sees a child from the bay and he gets upset and he says, you got to get out of here. And he's hanging out with Christian's brother.

this is where it gets a little dukes of hazard, which was kind of I enjoy this part. Actually, this was a funny part of the book. I love this. Like, I'm going to say, like, the way she wrote the town and the way she wrote this, like, I could totally see them. I thought it was really, really well done. So, all right, so it's time for the dukes of hazard, right? So they know they're headed to the swamp. Army and he gets his brothers and they get in the car and they know a shortcut. They get halfway there. And then the two little kids pop up behind the. the backseat and they're like, shit, what are you guys doing here? So it's like, right? So the little kids are basically now accomplice to whatever the big guys are about to do. Yeah, trying to beat the

bad guys or whatever, the saint people to the swamp. They beat them there and they like, dukes a hazard style, pull out a roll of spikes and roll it across the road. My favorite line. Are you going to say it? How bad could it be? I got it. it on Amazon. That was my favorite line of the book. Because now Army's like, I'm a dad. Am I going to kill someone? He does.

He is starting to question his decision. The brother's like, it's going to be fine. And you're like, oh, God, like, what's going to happen? Something bad. Fine. So then the ex, the mean ex-boyfriend drives across the spikes, hits all flat tires, skids into the ditch. He survives, whatever.

Then the problem is Chris Jen is hot on their tails. And so they need to pull the spikes off, but Dallas is like, fuck it. Dallas is like, he hates her so much. And so he's like, I don't care that she's going to get flat tires again for like the third time in the book. Poor girl. That doesn't the main way to keep her in the swamp. Yeah. They continue to flatten her tires. I fix her car. I mean, when you say it like that, they're kind of kidnapping her like every fifth week,

like she's like can never leave. That's true. Making her work it off at the restaurant. On a roller skate. That was, I forgot to get in roller skates. Yeah, the roller skates was ridiculous.

So basically she has no choice but to stay at the Yeager Mansion. Well, they have to get out of there so rich boys won't see any of them and then call the cops. They're a screen, you know, so they grab Christian, and the two little boys who have like, pop-duk and then, you know, the mean brother and now army, and they hightail it back to the swamp

so they can sort of like hide it out for many repercussions. And it is, this is the week of Thanksgiving. I think that's important to say. But this is also the beginning of her introducing her siblings. I guess she had brought the sister to the restaurant once and now the brothers made a friend in the bay and he stays overnight while Christian stays at the house with the brothers in the sister's room. So she's real clear that like this isn't me sleeping with Army. She puts up that that barrier. Barrier. Yes. Well, she still kind of got the hots. She still kind of has the hots for making, you know, with the shop vac and everything. But Army's the one that's like really showing her the attention. So she's like, do I sleep with the guy who likes me or do I keep chasing the guy who gave me a 20 bucks?

But it's not even about the hots for making. It's now she's starting to. see Megan differently. She's starting to notice things that he's doing. Like he's sad. He's not eating. He's he's suffering from what we find out later is depression. You know, and so he's withdrawing more and more from the family. And she's starting to kind of feel like, hey, you guys aren't even noticing this. You live here with him. He's your brother. You should notice this, but I noticed this. That means I care about him. Yes. Yes. It's because I mean. So why? So why? If she was 25, would you feel better about this? 21.

Maybe. Maybe if she had just been 21. Maybe if she wasn't just over statutory rape. It's so funny. So, yeah, but she's been introducing herself as a mother figure, the sister figure that I'm going to take care of these people. She's bringing making lunch every day from the restaurant. Like, she is now basically like caring for this family of degenerate brothers. She really does.

making her way through the stuff. Yeah. So then it's Thanksgiving time. She's got her siblings there. Again, the parents of these children, I'm struggling with this. Like the mom doesn't even want to know where her kids are on Thanksgiving.

Well, she's like on a beach vacation with like the boyfriend of the day. And the dad is shacked up with the new girlfriend. Well, but, but the dad doesn't believe the son is actually his. Right. We do find that out.

Because they infer that the women in the same area pass the wives around. Oh, yeah. They pass them around. So the dad doesn't even feel like, you know, Milo or what's his name? It's not Milo. It's Marr. That's the boyfriend. Mars isn't even his kid.

So he doesn't care. The only one he thinks is related to him is Christian. Yeah. But maybe the younger daughter. I don't think so. But it is an important point, right? Like we get to, which is like the saints. Like they have all the money, but they're miserable.

They're not happy. Like they're just trying to keep up pretenses. And yeah, that is part of the reason why the dad doesn't want have anything to do with them because he's like, I'm tired of this life, right? And I don't even know if those kids are mine. And Christian's 18.

So I'm just going to stop worrying. But he thinks the mom's got it well in hand. He's left the mom in the house. He's left her some money. And he thinks the mom is taking care of these kids. And the mom's like, fuck you, I'm out of it.

He didn't leave her any money. Later, Like, what? Some money. Yeah. Okay. No, he left her the house and jewelry to sell. He didn't have anything to do with her.

Right. Right. Okay. Back to Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving. Everybody can bring their favorite food. It's very harmonious. It's very, like, family-esque.

She is really enjoying the moment and feeling like she's part of a family and it's warming her heart. She's done her traditions. They've done theirs. And she's really woven herself in. Then Dallas starts shit with her. Right, like he can't resist. And he starts saying things are and finally says,

Everything you do is for money. You fuck the right sons, bosses even, as a way to elevate yourselves. Because nothing in life is really about skill, talent, or knowledge. It's about who's willing to do whoever it takes to get what you want. The house, the club memberships, the board positions. He keeps jabbing at her to the point where Thanksgiving gets real uncomfortable and people start dispersing.

Well, he's talking about her as a saint. Right. Like, I mean, the thing is, like, they have, yeah, they have really big beef with, like, the rich side of town. And she is the rich side of town now in his home. And he is not like it. So he doesn't like that she's there. Yeah, he's really struggling with that. But their jobs are to work for the saints.

They do lawns. They do handymen. They do all of that stuff. So they see this every day where they're talked down to. They're treated like dirt. And so he has. has now grouped her with all of them. Right.

She's slumming, right? She's swimming for the summer and he wants her out of there. Yeah. So he basically calls her a whore. I mean, he's just the worst. So anyway, all the brothers disperse and somehow Army gets Chris Jen into the kitchen and takes her. They're going to do dishes. They're going to do dishes, but like, Megan's sitting at the table still and he takes her chop off.

So this is one of those moments where I'm like, wait, what? I'm going to read it for you. times and I'm like, how did, how do we get here? And so here we are. She's topless in the kitchen. And Macon's like, come over here now. And he is, and Christians like, no, she's topless. And she walks over to him slowly, a little scared, but a little probably turned on, you know. He takes his shirt off and puts it on her. And he looks at Army and he says, she's not her. And she's talking about the baby mama. Like, hey, Army, I know she's a saint, but she's not the baby mama.

Cool your jets basically. Yeah, like just, yeah, calm down. But those two brothers get into it. And now we've got like a real redneck Thanksgiving because they start throwing punches and they have this huge brawl and they break all kinds of things in the house, glass figurines that their mom made, like things that are irreplaceable get destroyed. And it's really turns out to be just horrific. And Macon calls the police who are actually friends of his. And he has the police arrest Army and Christian. Wait, Megan, our Army says at one point during the whole conversation,

we could share her. Oh, that's right. And then Christians left him. That's right. He holds her haunted. That's right. He really. In this moment his brother likes her. Yeah. And he's like, oh, well, I guess we could share her. And then she slaps him across the face and gets back. As she should. As she should have.

As she should have. Because they were, she was flirting with Army a little bit, but she did like Makin and Makin liked her. And he, and Army saw this and was like, take her. And he could see the brother resisting. He's like, well, maybe we could share it. Like, Megan is their father figure. He raised all the kids when their parents died, right?

And they can, an army is the closest one to him and does see him sort of spiraling. And it's like, wait, this would make you happy. Take her, which is like not, she's not his to barter. And then like it's trying to negotiate this thing to make his brother happy. And she slapped him, which she should have because that was a asshole thing to do. But then they get in the whole fight, making calls the cops. Oh, it gets better. It gets better.

It is funny. The cops are here. You're not going to believe this. I would like to apologize for. all police enforcement throughout this entire book. I feel like they were highly expected. I, this is what I mean, it's, I wouldn't say you jumped a shark, but we definitely jumped them. Okay. So we get, and we're in the car. This might have been the most unbelievable part of the whole book. The two of them are in the back of the cop car and the sexual tension is running high.

And the cops are like, they're just doing a favor for their buddy. They're not really considering this an arrest. She's in handcuffs, but Army's not. And he keeps coming on to her and they're like, hey, knock it off. Knock it off. And they're talking about things like, hey, maybe we could just kidnap your baby mama and you could have a conversation with her and the cops are like, we're right here. Basically, he ends up, he starts pulling her pants down. Like, things are getting more and more aggressive and they're like, stop. The cops are like, hey, stop. You can't do that. And then they pull over and they get out of the car and they're like, make it quick. Hurry up.

But like she's like the visual event. Oh, what planet? Does this actually happen? She's handcuffed, but she's not only handcuffed. She's handcuffed to the oh shit handle. Like up top on. She's a contortionist. She's a contortionist.

Yeah. He flips her around. Her hands are up. she's on her knee. They're in the back seat. His pants would be an uncomfortable situation, but he does fuck her back there while the cops he does tell her outside. He does tell them to turn off the dash cam, which we find out later.

Oh, yeah. They did not. They did not. They did not. Yeah. Yeah. So they have sex. Oh, gross.

The cops are like so annoyed. Drop them back off. And then just let them go. Like they're like, get out. They're like, they take them back. back to the mansion that I'll get out. And so then they have like a sex fest back at the house because the tension's running high. And then so this is the thing about this book. I feel like these guys just treat her like garbage. So she goes downstairs after she's been with Army and

Maken sees her in the kitchen and calls. It says, you know, when I was in the Marines, we would have called someone like you a barracks rat because you're just like this. Oh, but he's not wrong. It's not wrong. She is doing that. I don't want to slut shame, but oh my God, this girl is a whore. I mean, I swear to you. But she's how poor. If Liv was not like already with someone, I guarantee it'd be five brothers and a sister.

This girl made her way around the entire household in like a matter of week. almost almost almost almost there are yes the the way it I do not disagree with you she she was a parricks rat and she was making her way from room to room but I don't know I do have to say and I have I am very easy to impress on these things like it's just whatever it's like a fun story and it makes me laugh and the sex is good but like you know the way she writes it it's like you can kind of see how this young impressionable woman who has this horrible family life and just looking for someone to love her, gets kind of taken in by these guys. But that's the part that's upsetting because it's like,

she has gone through so much trauma already at age 18. She just got out of this abusive relationship. She's very vulnerable. And these guys just treat her like shit. She just wants someone to love her. Okay. But go back to the abusive relationship. She, that was one of the things about her that they liked was that she, Hit Milo back.

She clothed the guy. She's scrappy. She is scrappy. She is traumatized by all of these things in her life. But so are they. You know, they all had all this trauma with their mom and now their brother and their dad. And I mean, they kind of grew up just kind of what the fuck. Everything was just, they're wild and they're trying to be better, but not very well.

And they do things like one of my. favorite scenes, and I don't know if you're, if you're going to get to it or not, is the red hand game. That was with iron. Yeah. That was one of my favorite scenes. I got a lot of book, but yeah. Yeah, true. But that to me screamed college. That was a fun. It was college. Their baby. They're babies. They're playing tag in the rain. Drip poker-esque. So the real hand game was they put, they put red paint on their hands and played tag. And anyone who gave you a hand print, you had to take a piece of clothing off.

Like strip tag. It was stripped. Yeah. Yeah. And that was how, that was the night she ultimately ended up with iron. But, but you also forget she's 18,

but I mean, these guys are young too. What 21 year old isn't a fucking asshole? Or 24 year old or 24 year old. Or 21 year old. Like, I'm sorry. Like, guys are fucking. fucking dicks. And they sit there with a bunch of guys and no parents to parent for most of their

lives. Like, this is not shocking that guys are fucking pricks. Like, work hard, play hard. That's what they were doing. Working hard and playing hard. That's all they did. Party every night. All right. So we're back, we're back at the house. She's been intimate with Army. She is still weaving herself in. She's helping with the baby. She's making meals. She's kind of she's around the restaurant she's at the restaurant the kids or her siblings are there quite a bit then to me this felt very random because dallas was nothing but nasty to her throughout the entire book and then we get a chapter of him just fantasizing about her and saying how everything she does is beautiful and she makes everything positive and he's got like that he's romanticizing her i don't know that at this

point if we know that he's gay but it's been a little too that you're He slept with a son of a baby. Yeah. But I don't think you know that yet until way later. You know that he wakes up with two girls. He's bisexual. He is a jerk to the girls. I mean, at one point is like, get the hell out of here.

And is he bisexual? He's bisexual. If he treats every girl like shit and then he really likes the guy. I mean, to me, but he's still sleeping with the girls. And he treated the guy like shit too. He's just, that's who he is. He's just dark. Yeah, he sees the beauty in in the yuck, right?

He sees that beauty in the darkness. He sees it in the pain. He's just a dark soul. He's not great, but there's this random chapter. I feel like the point was Penny D wanted us to know that every man in that house had a thing for Christian. Wanted her. And this was another check the box. And he's the one brother, and I think we can say this at this point, that she doesn't sleep with.

And I think because he hated her so much, if they actually slept together, that would have really been weird. It would have been out like off the right, even more often. But he, but but I think if you if you take the I didn't hate this book landscape, like Dallas, like he was always, he was always the one that like was like hating her because of who she was. And he starts to see her as one of them now, right? Like they finally make the transition that she is going to protect them. She's going to, she know, she tried to protect them from the saints doing the graveyard thing. She's done multiple things now at this point in the book where she is very much on their side versus on the saint's side. And he starts to see her as maybe one of them.

But he doesn't though. He doesn't though because he sees her as still a saint. He's worried she's going to leave. And then he says she would do anything for us. Let's use her. Just like they use them. But she knew she would do. anything for them. He, but like, so he, I don't think he ever saw her as one of them.

Okay. That's a fair point, but he sees, you know what I mean? He sees that she is invested in them and their success and protecting them. And so he's going to be an opportunist and try to use that for them. Yeah. But he says she would do it for us, right? Not we're going to take advantage of her, but like if we tell her this is what we want, I bet she'd do it. So he's going to, he's going to take that opportunity. But it's, it's the transition where he's, starts to realize, like, she would do it. She would do anything she could. That's fair.

Gross, but fair. Bacon is, so while all this is going on, Megan's spiraling. And he's really struggling with mental health. And apparently an 18-year-old gal is the answer.

I mean, mid-life crisis right there. That's not. Like, this is the answer, apparently. So she starts sleeping in his bed and coaching him and really kind of bringing him out of his funk. Listen, I'm with you, Lindsay. If we're all here just for fun, all right, fine, whatever.

But it does feel a little irresponsible. Okay, you're putting a lot. You're your mental health problems. Just get an 18-year-old nearby. She wants to fix it. If we're going to make this deep, like, you know, she's got to fit too. She wants to fix making like she has from day one. So let's, let's dive into some.

side plots, shall we, because there are plenty. Side plot number one that I thought was worth mentioning is that the brothers are rumored to have treasure buried in the graveyard in the bay. So this has made them vulnerable for these saint kids to want to go dig it up, and, you know, this comes up a few times in the book. Side plot number two that you guys had already mentioned, Macon is trying to scare straight the drunk people in town who spend money on booze and not groceries perpetuating the poverty. He does some weird stuff and I think it's really random and like a super strange side shoot from the rest of the story. Yeah. All right. Check. After the Gagger parents died, Army and Macon had to take care of the family and Macon sold his body to the women on the

saint's side. This is a big side plot because one of them is Christian's mom. And... Which was, but you could kind of see coming, but like when this actually happened, it was very I like I like when he called the mom by the first name and nina well she asked army she asked army were my parents part of this group no did my parents ever do that and he was like no no but army left army was right there for the first couple which was not her parents he walked away he said no because make it's all them you don't have to do this all right and basically makin took the hit and said I will sell myself to support our family. And it's a big part of his spiral, like his depression, he's not processed it properly.

He's really only 31 years old. I mean, so like he's really not, you know, I think that's like the book's getting at. He hasn't dealt with this properly. And their parents died like eight years ago. So like he was 24 when, or 20. Yeah. When he was basically selling his soul to make sure that his siblings like, yeah. growth and live. Yeah. Like he's got a lot of trauma. Very experienced, however. Yeah.

In the sex, which is, you know, all right. So that's an important side plot. So another one is a man named Garrett Ames is like a super slimy rich guy who wants to buy land in the bay and keeps trying to get making to sell it. His son is Army's past lover who's the one that got away. Dallas's. No. Dallas is like, wait a minute. I didn't think. we ever figured out. I get those two mixed up in your reading. But okay, yeah, sorry, Dallas. Dallas, the bisexual one who knows the bisexual one slept with Garrett Ames' son. Okay, that's important. And Garrett Ames knows and is not. He don't like it. Okay. So then Macon needs money to build an infrastructure in the bay like paved roads. He really, really wants to make it better. But he doesn't

want to do it through the slimy rich guy, but he doesn't have any other options right now. So that's, he's in turmoil about this, right? he's blocked. The guy keeps blocking him with permit. A permit. Yeah, it's permits. And then lastly, Christian's dad put all of his money into her name through the divorce. So the mom couldn't have access to it. And he didn't think she'd figure it out, but she did. Hidden assets. Yeah. Hidden assets. Okay. So we're eventually going to wrap this up.

All right. So it's a very, very long. 500. It's like, 560 pages. We're getting there. 15 hours on Audible. Yeah. So eventually Christian is just with Makin. I mean, it's like he knows like I should have let her go back to Army, but I didn't. And now we're just together. But and they start sleeping together. And it's hot and steamy and all this. They have a few scenes together. But it kind of culminates. He's at her place. And she realizes that he slept with her mom. He basically admits to Christian. Yes, I slept with their mom for money back in the day and Christian's having trouble processing it. And because he's really healthy and mature, he leaves 20 bucks on her dresser and leaps. So it's kind of shitty, right? Like he treats her like shit again.

I like that he only pays her 20 bucks. Good God. What an asshole. I mean, a handy is how much? No. It looks like seven times. I mean, three dollars ago. Oh, that's, oh, that's wrong.

Yeah, it just, you guys. He's immature. He's immature. Like, but like he's sitting on her bed in her home and he's like, you have a taco pillow. You have a broccoli pillow. He's on your bed. Maybe I'm cold for you. No.

No, no. Never said that. He does say that. He does say that. He says, we have to get out of this room. it's making me feel old. Like this room is like a young. But not too old.

I need to not feel like you're this young. Like he does make reference that multiple times. He feels like a dog geyser. That's true. That's true. He doesn't heed his own warning. So basically they get in an argument because of the mom. And honestly, he's known that Christian's mom was someone that did that to him from day one.

From the minute she started dating Trace, he knew. who she was and he pursued her, well, she kind of pursued him, but they end up in this relationship, him knowing that backstory, and it is a little fucked up. But he kept track of her from the get-go. He's the one who got her the job. He's the one who sent Army to bring her home. He had access to the dash cam and the police car.

And this whole Yeager family has the Saints Country Club on tap. I mean, they've got hidden. cameras throughout. So they have dirt on everybody in the town. These guys, these guys are shady, right? There is an undercurrent of like criminality going on throughout the book. They definitely are like keeping the whole side of the tracks like a swamp mob. That is what it is from going underwater by basically being criminals, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. They actually have a mask quite a quite a fortune. You know, under the guise of being poor, but they, they own half the town of the Bay, you know. And so, Macon and Christian are in a fight.

They don't speak for a few days. She starts liquidating her dad's assets. Well, I think that's like her breaking point, right? Like, she's also with four of the five brothers. She's in love with Macon, but he's now treated really crap for the last time. And she's like, I'm just going to, you know what? I'm going to do what my mom said. This is the part.

I struggled with the most. Believe it or not chapter one. Here we go with my real struggle. Okay. The Yeager brothers decide they're going, or the Yeager family, I'm sorry, they invite the sister. They're all going to meet with Garrett Ames to talk about the sale of the bay. And this part I really loved because they all show up in leather and they're very family. It's a family mom.

The family affair. Unity. They're there to support the bay. Like a mom. It really feels like. A family mom. It was a swat mom. Yes.

It was really cool. But randomly, Christian's dad is there. And then also the would-be husband that the mom's trying to marry her off to, as well as Garrett Ames, who's there to meet with the Yeager family. They're in this negotiation room

called the Wolf Room at the country club, which I guess a ton of like shady shit goes down there. I think it's like the country club rape room. The community is. The movie has a book, that's what it was, but we, you know, unless you read, we don't, we, it's implied that it's a bad. It's implied that it's like no one knows about it, but the people. All these people are having this business meeting. An 18-year-old Christian comes in and her tennis skirt.

And she's very, like, she has decided she is going to own her saint, her saintness. And she's all to the nines, right? So she comes in all business. And everybody's like, you know, like, what's happening here? And so she first addresses the husband or would be husband. And she says, all right, fine, I'll marry you. But here are my terms. I want my own bedroom until I'm ready for more.

And I want, you know, my siblings to be with me. And then the dad's like, oh, her dad's there. I don't know if I meant to. Yeah, her dad is there. And he's like, wait a minute. Why your siblings? Is like, mom? Like, what have you been to?

Your mom isn't taking care of the children? What's happening? You know? So that part was a little weird. And then the fact that she's willing to marry the rich guy, piss is making off, he gets up, takes all the siblings, they march out of there, they're pissed off, right? So she stays to finish her negotiation. This is the part I'm struggling with is this 18-year-old men's negotiating with these 50-year-old men. But all right, here we go. Okay. But again, if she was 25, would you care? Like, she's got them by the balls. Like, she's basically like, you're going to get your shit. when I'm good and ready. And if you don't do it, here's all the things I'm going to do against you.

And they're fucking like old rich white men. It's a little, it's like a young adult novel, but then it's like not for a lot of reasons. But like dirty. So then she slides a check across to her dad. And basically she's made an arrangement with her mom. She gets to keep the kids if her dad will pay the mom off what she wants.

That's the agreement she's made with her mother. Her mother's agreed to it with no problem. the dad signs the check, he leaves, and then she's there with Garrett Ames, and we don't know what they work out. Until the end. Until the happy ending. All right, I'm getting there. All right.

It's a little really long book. Hang in there with me. Okay. So to the happy ending. Maken wakes up the next morning, and there are bulldozers outside his house. They are building infrastructure, and he's like, what's happening? So he runs out, and the sister's like, just seeing up. Chris Jen did all of this for you.

And she basically traded her house so that he was holding back all of the permits. The permits. And basically she blackmailed him into releasing those permits so that they could have some infrastructure. That's the part that I struggled with because it doesn't feel super believable, but said, I'll give you my house for this in return. Otherwise, I'm going to give my house to swamp people. And they're going to drive down the property value so much that the saints are going to going to go under. You didn't feel like that was believable? I felt like that was the most believable thing. Totally. A bunch of

ripped people are like late in and hold on like the frat house is moving in next door. Hell no. All of these permits for five years. No problem. She had all the like, now listen, is it believable an 18 year old figured all this out when she was kind of titsy like the whole rest of the book? Maybe not. But I thought that that was all, it all made sense to me based on, you know, fiction. and that this would happen. Oh, right. And so, Maken is life.

I'm like, that's the problem with the book. That's the problem. Not the vacuum. Okay. Okay. Okay. So then,

because we're in a really healthy relationship here, Macon realizes all the sacrifices she's made and kidnaps her siblings and brings them back over to the bay to lure her over. She doesn't kidnap them. He gets content from the mom. He literally basically just like paid for them.

Without asking Christian who is technically at this point. No, she's not. She just is taking care of them. Actual mother. He basically human traffics them by going to the real long. You guys win. It's not kidnapping. That's way more mature.

I'm going to pay you money to get these kids. And you're going to sign up. much healthier. I apologize. May I continue? Okay. So. But he does it for love. He does it for love. They all do.

So he looks it over to the bay to save her siblings who she feels have been kidnapped. But according to you, no. That's not what that was. And all the brothers are on a houseboat. And they're there. This is weird. Why the fuck were they at a houseboat? Like, someone helped me. This is the weird part?

Okay. All right. Following people around the house, but all right. And this is the brothers, Garrett Ames, the would-be husband, and then Christian barges in. So Macon basically looks at the would-be husband and says, oh, he's shaking hands with Garrett Ames at the time. And she doesn't understand what's going on. And he looks at the would-be husband and says, you're not allowed to look at her like that anymore. and he makes him leave. So the tail between his legs leaves out of there.

Basically, Macon has made a deal to keep the infrastructure project going, and Christian is no longer betrothed to this guy. And Macon has paid a lot of money for this, and he makes it real clear to her that that's what he's done. He's also paid off the mom to give him power of attorney for the siblings, who have their own room in his house now. He's remodeling it to make it even bigger so that everybody can fit. Chris Jen decides at this point after Garrett Ames leaves, she should strip naked in front of all of the brothers. This feels like a really perfect time to do so.

And then he kicks them out. He kicks them out. Well, I was just, I was just going to say, like, I mean, instead of making being like, wow, that's kind of a juvenile move. Like, maybe she's immature. He's like, I love you. He's like, brothers, get out. And he goes with her on the boat. But then leaves. Like this is where I was like, okay, here we go.

Like it's all going to come together and make it's going to be a nice guy. It's all going to be great. No, no. He talks her and you think really likes her and then just like treats her like shit again and walks off the boat. But he didn't pay her this time. He's growing. He's growing. I just kind of skipped to the end.

Instead, they get married. they plan to have kids the end I can't. That is awesome. You're forgetting. You miss the almost murder. You miss. Oh,

yeah. The kids are coming in. Like, she's adopted all the children in the neighborhood and is eating them breakfast. I mean, there's like all these

in- it's like a random. They're very, they're very happy at the end. And he still has his mental health issues. They don't, she doesn't, she's on med.

But he's on med. in case she's talking to someone. He has a therapist now. laughs a lot. Like, yeah. It didn't feel rushed to me. It was very long. No. It was forever long.

But it did feel like it culminated the way I wanted it to. And I felt very happy. How many stars would you give this book out of five? You are the only one here that I don't know what you think. I mean, you guys know how I feel. This is a two-star read for me. But because this isn't my genre and I've accepted that in my heart. You know, I.

And you read it. You physically read it. Yeah? I did, well, I mostly, I would say 75% of it I read. I listened to some of it, but it was easier to read. Okay. Okay. So you would give it a two star rating.

Lynn? I'm so curious. I know. Now I'm like, ooh. You know, honestly, like out of five, I'd probably give it like a three and a half. I would even maybe like it would inch up to like for it was entertaining. The sex was good. There was a happy ending.

There was some drama. A lot of happy endings. It hit all the boxes for me. There was some super cringy moments, super unbelievable moments. But for me, when I read a book like this, I just want to be entertained. I want there to be good sex. And I want there to be a happy ending. And it hit all the boxes.

Okay. Yeah. This one was a tough one. At one point I was even texting Jen going, oh my God. this thing will never fucking end. So I'm going to say generously, I'm going to give it a two because like there were points where I was like, okay, this could turn around. This might make, nope, didn't happen.

No, you just kept not happening. Next brother. Keep going. You know. Well, we should say, make the brother that ended up. Oh, yeah. Like, something they're on the couch. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, yeah. That's even right here. I just like didn't bother me at all. I just like to me too, there were too many subplots. This is a lot for an 18 year old to take on someone's mass depression, mommy issues. She had mommy and daddy issues. She's playing nursemaid to her siblings. She's paying off the nanny, which is also a whole other subplot that her mom's spending the money somewhere else and, you know, missing the nannies payments by five months. There's too much going on for me.

Two at best. That's being super generous. Super generous. That was why it was too for you. It wasn't like the morally questionable writing. Okay. You know, I mean, I'm okay with the morally questionable. I know.

I'm like if you have problems with morally questionable, we're in a song around. Do you feel ripped off that we only got four brothers? I totally feel ripped off because I kind of thinking like when's Dahl is going to come? I mean, it kind of kept me interested. I kept thinking, like, how were they going to transition to Dallas? Like, what's happening? Like, it should be like 4.5? 4.2?

No, there's no point anything. She got some clothes off. She was going to, like, they were getting, his hands were going up her skirt. I mean, they were moving in that direction. I don't know. No, anyway, spice factor. I'm going to give it four. Yeah.

Okay. That's good. Because I thought some of the scenes were creative. There wasn't. I mean, I would say of the entire book, 10% of it was spice. Like, I mean, spicy scenes, but the scenes we got were good. We're good. I agree.

Maybe 15%. I did think it was very funny that her and Macon never ever had sex that was not interrupted in some way. Right. Oh, yeah, because then they had like the... It was like the phone, the phone ring, the fire, the police. I mean, there was always something that interrupted it. Yeah.

So I thought that was kind of funny. Yeah, I would give it a four, too. Yeah, I'd give it a four on Spice, but definitely it's too. All right, two for you all. I'm doing three and a half, and then I think we're all aligned on four for Spice. Yeah, she can write the Spice. I don't know what I'd call this genre if you're not going to call it dark romance. I would say, I would not.

It's called Smut. Yeah. There's not really smart where she's not. I prefer a good billionaire to worship the ground I walk on. I mean, is that so much? Who doesn't? I mean, find me up. This wasn't that.

That's all I'm saying. Got it. No, no, this isn't it. Thanks for tuning in. We hope today's episode was the climax in here today, leaving you breathless and wanting more. Until next time, remember to indulge in the pleasures of life and to keep the passion alive.

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