Boozy Bookgasms - Jason Statham is that you?

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

The Protector by Jodi Ellen Malpas Trumpian father figure, super model nepo baby, British redneck and a naked treasure hunt with a picnic at the end. If you thought we were done there, think again! There are more side plots between these pages than garnishes in a bloody mary.  Signature Cocktail: The Spicey Independent Ingredients:  1 1/2 parts Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey 1/2 part fresh lemon juice 3/4 part simple syrup 7 blackberries 7 fresh mint leaves 2-3 parts sparkling wine Muddle 6 blackberries and 6 mint leaves in a shaker with 1/4 part simple syrup. In the mixing glass, combine the bourbon, lemon juice and remaining simple syrup then add to the blackberries and mint leaves. Add ice and shake that baby up. Double strain into a Collins glass with fresh crushed ice. Top off with sparkling wine and garnish with your remaining mint leaf and blackberry. 

What about me? What about me? It's not about you. I drink with mom and then we've been on the phone for two hours, people. Hi, Clinter Fan. Buckle out literature fans. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back. Sit back. Sip slow. and enjoy the ride. Welcome back to Boosy Bookgasms. I'm Lynn. I'm Jen.

I'm Kim. We're diving into The Protector, which is by Jody Ellen Malpice, who is a favorite author of mine, and I've loved her. And this was a standalone romantic suspense novel full of emotional baggage, danger, chemistry. But before we dive in, what are we drinking tonight? Well, today, we are doing the spicy independent, which I thought was pretty appropriate for our girl Camille. I want to call her Cammy so badly. Camille. With all the dodging.

I mean, she wouldn't mind. Whatever. He called her Cammy. He did call her Cammy. I know. I know. It was a cute name. But with all the dodging she did of poor Jake and her dad and everybody else, I felt like the spicy independent was pretty good. We've got some bourbon, some lemon juice, some simple syrup, a little bit of blackberry and mint mold together and some sparkling wine. It is actually really refreshing. And where I'm at, it's already hot. So this is the perfect pool side. That's yummy. Nice. Yes, very tasty. And she is a very spicy character and tries so hard to be so independent. She's really trying to break out of the mold that she's been put in. The story basically is around what I would call a brooding ex-combat soldier and our spicy heroin, who is a socialite

daughter, but turn model. She's a model. She's a fashion designer, but she wants to be inclusive of all different weight levels and sizes and... Yeah, because she's starting her own business. Yeah. Who read it? Who listened to it? This is Lynn. I always read. This is going to be like a thing for me. This is very important. I started by listening and it was atrocious. I ended up reading the last half of it just so I could choke it down. Was the last half better? Yes. Okay. But I will say there was a lot of fucking side plot in this book that felt tedious to me.

Unnecessary. Yeah. But I thought the male voice did not match the character description. You wanted him to be. He sounded like the chimney sweep from Mary Poppins. No, you know who he sounds like? Jason Stanton, the guy who's like the beekeeper, the worker bee. That is the vibe that I got the whole time, which I'm not into that.

The working class sort of soldier. But he's supposed to be the hottest guy and he walks in the room and every girl's jaw drops. But then he talks and he's like a British redneck. Well, he is kind of a British redneck. That's he is the broody bodyguard. Like I can come in and kung fu the whole room in two seconds. You know, I always have a gun. Totally.

But then the girl's voice, the female character, I was like, she is so meh. And with him and her, I don't. I just couldn't. I'm with you, Jen. I should have put it down and I should have picked up the hard copy and I should have read it. Because I, you know me. I always have both versions. I got my trophies for my shelf.

And I should have read it. But then I was like, you know what? I'm going to plow through this. I'm going to listen to it all the way because I want to be able to have this conversation. But this one, this was a tough listen. This is where I always read. Like I can make up their own voices in my head. And I do feel like the narrators of the audios can make or break a book.

Good and bad. Oh, for sure. Because when we did lights out, like you guys said, the narrator made the book. I was kind of annoyed. And the narrator made it cutesy for you. Yeah. Well, and then with Twisted Love, same thing. Yeah, you hated the narrative.

And I listened to another podcast about Twisted Love and the same thing. They listened to it and were like, This is what is the worst. Like, a lot of all. But when you read the soft copy, you have a way better experience. It is important. I could not get past. Like, I was envisioning every movie this guy had done.

No. Like that was his first character. Yes. All of them. It's the same dude. I pictured this super hot guy. He did not have a super hot voice. Yeah.

And the guy on the cover is not even that super hot to me. He's just okay. The cover is so hot to me. Yeah. I agree. The cover of this book is like, you'll, like, yummy. I love it. The guy who they don't like his voice, but our main male character is Jake Sharp.

He's a former Special Forces sniper. I like the name, though. Yeah, it's very sexy. Very sexy name. Kim, you're going to have to grow for me. I just can't do it. Oh. There we go.

There you go. Yummy. He's out of the military now, but he definitely has some PTSD. In the first part of the book, you realize, was some flashbacks. He was a sniper, but his last mission ended with a few of the people closest to him were killed on kind of his watch. And he definitely takes a lot of that on himself. And you realize that it's because he spun out of control and it led to this mission where his friends died. So he's still really traumatized by this. You don't even get that much information, I feel like. It's always like this question mark. He left the military, but was it kicked out or did he choose to leave? He was discharged from the military. Isn't it called like discharged with honor or without? Like it wasn't bad.

It's an honorable discharge, yes. And he's struggling with that because he doesn't have a purpose. So he's gone into protective services, which is like bodyguard type work. But in between his assignments, he's a total degenerate. He's a man whore. He is drinking too much. He is sleeping with anyone who will give him attention. But he's portrayed as this very hot character who,

can get any woman that he wants, he goes home with them, sleeps with them, and then basically kicks him out of his purpose. He's swatting them off like nets. Like, I mean, he walks into a bar. Every woman's looking at him. Every woman wants him. They're coming onto him constantly. And he's like swatting them away. I mean, it makes it sound like he is the hottest guy that any woman's ever seen, which is why the voice of the chimney sweep from Mary Bethans did not do it for me. But Dick Van Dyke's not your... But I think, God, that's an awful visual. Now I can't just that out of my head.

That's what happened to me. Welcome. I went out. One of the scenes at the very beginning, he wakes up and there's a woman in his bed. He doesn't know who he brought home the night before. He's annoyed she's there. And then he basically kicks her out and goes and takes a shower. And she slaps him in the face.

He lets her slap him in the face. As he should. He feels like he's zerser. it, which is the whole other thing. And then he kicks her out and she calls him an asshole and she walks out. So I mean, it's set up that this is like a pretty common occurrence. Just another night for him. Yeah. And he doesn't care. He's just like this is my relationship with women. I treat them like shit. I don't care about their pleasure. I don't care about their feelings. They're just. They're a means to an end. They're just a vessel for me. Yes. And that's a problem later on, I'm going to struggle with his quick. obsession with her and when he falls in love because it's a snap of a finger. Yeah. It's an instill-law. But it's hard to buy the instill love when he was such a player and a, this is completely

emotionally detached. He was just looking for the right one, Jen. He was just searching. We'll carry on. I had a hard time with this. I did too, actually. I knew it. In other book, the instill love and other books, that doesn't bother me.

And it didn't bother me here because it was like an Insta Love book. I love Insta Love. I do. So Jake is in protective services and he gets a call from Lucinda. So she's sort of the, what is it in James Bond, the woman who like always calls? It's like M. She's like the dispatcher. She's like the dispatcher. But like also like the fixer and like she does everything.

So she calls him and says, I have a job for you. You have to basically be on 24-7 protective detail for this woman, Camille Logan, who is the daughter of a very wealthy man in Britain. Trevor Logan, this Trevor Logan guy is kind of a hard-ass businessman. But he is a daughter, early 20s model, and she's been threatened and you have to go protect her. It's $100,000 a week. Yeah, that's bananas. It's crazy. And he basically was like, this is going to be the brattiest woman.

So he makes a lot of assumptions. Yeah. He realizes he needs a purpose. He's been out of work for a couple of weeks. And he says, fuck it. I'm going in. So he tells Lucinda, never mind. I will go meet the dad, Trevor Logan, at his office.

And she says, yeah, I already knew you were going to do that. Your appointments at three. So this Lucinda woman is hilarious. And she totally has his number and keeps him in line. That a cute, damn. Yeah. Yeah, they totally did. So he isn't thrilled about it.

this. He's like already sort of going in with preconceived notions about this woman. And about Trevor. Trevor's not exactly clean cut good business man. He's he's got some snaky moments. He's already done his research on this family. He gets a lot of death threats, which isn't a good sign. He does. No, it doesn't mean your business is doing well. Or maybe it is. So Jake goes to the high rise building to meet the dad, Trevor Logan. This is one of my favorite parts and I can see it in the movie. When Jake goes into the building, there's a, like, a metal detector and there's like an 80-year-old security guard. This did feel like a movie.

I was like, come on. I'm telling you, it's been done. Go look up all the Jason Staten movies. Totally. So he's like, I'm bringing my gun into this place, whether they like it or not. So he totally flirts with this woman who's about to go through security. She drops her bag. Well, he knocked it off her arm.

Pushes it. Yeah. Yeah, the 80-year-old security guard goes to help her. He slides his gun under the table. He picks it back up, no one notices, right? With all the cameras and all the things. Like, Trevor Logan has all the bodyguards. Like, they never notice the gun. But anyway, he gets his gun. That's another issue with this dude. This dude is getting a ton of death threats and he hires an 80-year-old to run the metal detector. Right. And they don't notice, like, the gun just sliding across the floor. There's cameras everywhere, but nobody sees anything. There's some bladles.

Yeah, there's a lot of gaps here. A lot of gaps, Jody. Oh, fair. So he goes up, he doesn't quite trust what's coming out of Trevor's mouth. Parallel tracking to this, you have Cammy. So Cammy is our gorgeous socialites. She is the only daughter of Trevor Logan. She is from his second marriage.

So Trevor is a bit of a sort of Trumpian character. He has like the first wife. That's a very good way to describe him. He has multiple wives or ex-wives, rather. He's married this Ukrainian woman, has a son with her, T.J. Kind of a minor character, in my opinion, throughout the book. But he's like, he always pops up and you kind of wonder like what his situation is. Yeah, you definitely question him throughout.

It's like, is he shady or is he good? She loves him. She loves him. The Kami loves him. But Jake's not so sure. It's interesting. And he's like the dad second in command. Like he is the guy who has been like grooming to take over the family business, which is shady

enough itself because Trevor Logan gets all these threats. But the first wife gets sent back to Ukraine. Trevor Logan keeps his son here in Britain and basically cuts him off from his mom and his mom's family. Right. So then T.J. grows up in the Logan circle. Then Trevor marries the second wife, which is Cammy's mom. And they're together for a decent amount of time, something like 20 years.

But then divorces her. She ends up not getting a ton from the divorce, but then gets some sort of windfall from some sort of investment. So she's living fine, but totally bitter about the divorce really hates Trevor Logan. He's always kind of trading up. And now the third wife is at the same age as Cammy. Yeah. Cammy is at her early 20s. She's turned into a model and she's making a career out of it.

A bit of a NEPO baby, but, you know, is a hard worker. She wants to have her own design studio and have her own designs. And she's trying to with her best friend who she grew up with, who's also a NEPO baby. But they're trying to do this on their own and like create a business on their own without their family's help. Minus the apartment. She is living in a very luxurious apartment and sort of like because of the security. I mean, listen, she's still wealthy as shit, right? But she wants to sort of make it on her own in business.

Daddy Dearest calls in Cammy to basically say, I've had threats against you and I need you to be under locking key. And she's not having any of that. So to our cocktail of the night, she is a spicy independent and she doesn't want the security. She finally gives in. He says, you're truly in danger and she says fine. But she really doesn't want it. Yeah, she has no choice. He's like, you're getting a bodyguard and she's like, I don't want one.

He's like, meet Jake. Here's your shadow. Right. But when she first met Jake, she was totally attracted to him. So this is where you're like, he wasn't that cute. Like, Cammy is like instantly attracted to the sky. Thinks he's amazingly hot. But she doesn't want somebody over her shoulder. I got the impression he was above average hot. Yeah. Everyone turned their head when this guy walked in. Totally. So they basically are now stuck with each other. Cammy leaves the building. But she's in her own car. Jake's in his own car. He's like, I will follow you home. And then she tries to get rid of him. goes through like a high-speed chase through London to get rid of this guy, ends up in a restaurant with her friend, her business partner, so they can have drinks. And Jake skis-skids in. So he's like, what the hell are you doing? She's like, I'm having tea. What are you talking about? So there's a lot of this now throughout the middle of the book where they're constantly cat and mouse. But they are kind of falling in love. Like he ends up having to stay in her apartment because it's 24-hour protection. There was a lot of angst. Yeah. The angst was written very well.

I won't say in these moments they were falling in love. I will say they were sexually attracted to each other. It was like, oh, she looks so hot in that dress. He was attracted to her. And same. Yeah, she's like, I have to see his arse. That's something we have to get used to as Americans to read these British books. Yeah.

But I had to see his arse in those pants. There were those moments, but I didn't feel like they were falling in love. Yeah. No, it was a lusting moment. It was like, oh, very good. goes. Ooh, he's cute. Oh, yeah. But he has to live with her, basically, because he moves in, he keeps his stuff in the second bedroom, but sleeps on the couch and just his blocks or briefs. She's peeking at him and falling off the bed as she tries to get, like, little peaks of him. I mean, they're certainly flirting. The same time, he's realizing she's not what he thought she was originally. He thought she was total dits and, like, living off her daddy's money. And he realizes, like, she wants to be a business woman. She's really smart. She has a good head on her shoulder.

There is more to it with her because she was also a drug addict at one point because of her ex-boyfriend, who is another sad slut. And we're also protecting her from herself, an ex-boyfriend who's a doucheback, who's a drug addict, a unknown threat, her dad's secret threat. Yeah, and the shady brother. And the shady brother that you don't know. Right, we don't know of the brother shading. I counted nine side plots. It was iffy. Yeah.

So many. There was a lot. There was a lot of like, is it that person or that person, right? So like the slide plots, I think we're all meant to keep us guessing on who's the real threat. Right. And it ended up being multiple. There's this rumor about her on the internet that she had to go to rehab. She had been dating the sky who was also a socialite who was like a total cokehead.

She went to rehab and then got out. and was turning her life around. The ex-boyfriend, Cokehead, gets out of rehab at the same time that Jake gets hired. Cammy is thinking the dad is trying to keep her away from the ex-boyfriend. Jake is like, that can't be it. There's this other threat. The dad, we don't really know what he's doing. He's hiding something and we don't know what.

Spidey senses are going off. Everything is a threat. Then there's a threat. TJ, the brother who, like, loves Camie. She loves him. But we don't know if he's at the center of it because he comes off as this somewhat cagey character. But through all of this, they're flirting, they're lusting. But there's not a ton of sex in this book, which I'm kind of annoyed about because she writes some really sexy scenes,

but I feel like there could have been so much more. But there is a really great scene and it's the cover of the book where she's going out to a party at a club and this kicks it all off. And this scene was great. I agree. She dresses in this hot, sexy black dress. But she ends up going to the bathroom. Jake wants to go in with her. She's like, get the hell out of the woman's bathroom. He lets her go and she's in there too long. So he opens the door and the ex-boyfriend, Sebastian, has snuck into the bathroom, was already in the bathroom. It's hard to tell, but then is kicking her around and like slapping her. And Jake goes in and punches him in the face and practically kills the guy. And then picks her up, bridal style and walks her out of the club. And there's all these pictures. Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. And takes her home. And takes her home. And like this is the moment that they are. It's a Whitney Houston bodyguard. Yes.

That's what it is. Yeah. It was so good. That was exactly what it was. It was so good. And that is the cover of this book, which is just like so yummy inducing. And I loved all of that. That was probably my favorite part of this book.

Yeah. But then they go back to her place and they sleep together, which was great. Was it great? They first took up. like around the 38% mark of the book. So you don't wait till 50%. I mean, you get into the sex pretty quick. Which is nice. Yeah. At the 39% mark, and I check this for you guys. I love that you I like that you do that. I appreciate the links that you go. I'm here for you. I mean, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. So Jake is saying I've never felt a connection so intense

that I can physically feel it and I never want this to end. And I'm like, wait, the 38% mark the first time you had sex. They're in love. To me, it was a giant leap from I'm a player who fucks the different girl every night and I don't give a shit to now I will never be apart from this one woman after one night of sex. Like she popped his cherry. And still love. That's what it feels like. It feels like it was the first one he was in love with.

But then, but then as the plot goes on, you find out. It wasn't the first one he was in love. Right. You find out it wasn't the only one. Can I summarize the side plots? Sure. And then you decide what you want to do with him. Okay.

Jake's trauma from the military. Jake's mysterious ex-girl person that is in a picture frame in his back. That he carries around with him. The dad's ulterior motives. The side business they were trying to kick off. The two girls. Fashion. Yeah.

That felt like a character development thing, but sure. someone trying to kill Camille. Camille's loser ex-boyfriend, the shady brother. How did Jake get so rich, by the way? Because he's pretty fucking wealthy and like he's a bodyguard. I'm fine with that.

Well, I'm fine with that, but like I would like to know how he's rich. Like, it's fine that he's rich. Well, he's been doing $100,000 a week jobs. I mean, that shit adds up to five years. What about the mom? You didn't get any plot weird things with the mom? I thought the mom was pretty typical. and great ex-wife.

Like, there was nothing fishy about her. Was she or was she in it to get back at the dad? Like, it was a weird... Oh, you suspected her? Oh, I did not. I feel like the mom was the same as, like, the design business, right? Like, it was like a character development. There is a, like, a scare.

And so Jake takes her back to his place. Now, we haven't seen his place yet. He's in this, like, really... sketchy part of town, but then he goes up through this, you know, it's like very a Batman-type situation where he's in a warehouse and they go through one of those old-timey elevators. We have to pull the door. She's nervous. Like, where the fuck are you taking? She's like, where are you taking me? Yeah, in the docks, right? And they end up in this gorgeous, beautiful 2,000 square foot loft overlooking the river. I want to live in this loft. They have sex again. He tells her he loves her. And Lucinda,

who I love this character. We have not spent enough time on her, shows up. wants to punch Jake in the face because he's now slept with his protective details. She's a sassy client. Yeah. And she's, well, I can't tell if she's the boss or just like the dispatcher. She gets a commission. She's mad. She's taking a commission off of every job he takes.

Did you just make that up or was that in the book? No, I totally read that in the book. Not that she gets the commission, but that's, I mean, that's every Jason Stanton plot. They have a handler. Well, it's like M. Yeah. It's like M. It broke her or a handler.

That's who it is. He's the one connecting the payer with the security. He knows the people. She soes up and she's pissed off. And then, not too long later, knock, knock, knock. Daddy Dearest is in the apartment with Joe and Schnoe. This part went fast. The big, you know, broly guys.

Basically, Jake locks Cammy in his bedroom. Rude. So that he can deal with. I agreed. That was rude. The dad. And he's doing it because he's scared that the dad is going to unveil his secrets. He's not ready for the secrets to be unveiled.

The secrets of him being honorably discharged from the military or the secret that he's a whore or a secret that he's got. He was married already. He's a widower. That's the secret. Right. Yeah. But we didn't know that. We just know there's this mysterious woman in his past.

But we don't know how. But then when you find out he's a widower, it's like, why is this why you locked her in a room against her well? Because they didn't know that he was a widower. But he didn't know they didn't know. Well, but also I think he has so much guilt about it that he hasn't like come to terms with it. So anyway, there's all these extra subplots with Jake and his backstory. That's what I'm saying. I'm exhausted.

Trevor Logan, the dad, comes in and says, well, I've paid off the ex-boyfriend to accuse Jake of. assault so that Jake now will leave Cammy alone. So I mean, Daddy... That was a valid accusation. He did assault him with Bob. But total red flag. Yeah, but only because Sebastian was insulting Cammy, like,

Jake's like, yeah, fuck you. And then dad's like, oh, the cops are here and they're on my payroll. So Jake is like, Cammy, I'll never leave you, bye. And like, books it out of the apartment. I love you. I love you. He goes... He didn't even take a bye. He left or locked in the room, banging on the door.

And he, like, slipped out of there like a thief in the night. He was really trusting that that Cammy would know his love. So Daddy Dearest, unlocks her from the bedroom. After one night together. Well, they'd had two, I think. A few. She would have two at that point. Surely she knows her love.

All right. They were in lust, calm down. So Daddy Dearest and the two beefy bodyguards try to take her down. And Cammy is like, I'm having none of this. I don't trust you. I trust the bodyguard I've only known for like six weeks and runs away from dad. Cammy basically runs to the moms to hide. Jake figures out somehow we aren't really sure that Cammy said the moms.

He breaks into the moms, finds her in her childhood bedroom, in her luscious bathroom. And then. Opulence. It was opulence. There you, opulent bathroom. And they fuck in the bathroom. but then post-coital, Mommy Dearest walks into the bathroom. I don't like that.

I don't like that. What part? The post or the coital? The coital. Coital is a really great. It's like moist. It's a really grosser. You can take it or leave it.

I mean, it just doesn't. I'm taking it. Okay. Post-quitle. Okay. Post-fucking. They try and cover it up. Obviously, they're not good about it.

Jake is a lovely gentleman. and the mom's like, I'll see you downstairs. I'm going to walks away. So Jake now has to go downstairs to meet the mom. And the mom is like, I'm sure you're going to treat my daughter great. I have brunch and, like, leaves the apartment. The mom is incredibly materialistic. She's not a maternal figure in the way that most moms would be.

When her daughter showed up, kind of ruffled from the whole, like her father was kidnapped her. Her mom was like, you look a little dishevelled. I'm going to get you some new clothes. You got to figure she married young into a very rich household. She was the latest and greatest. She probably had tons of help from, you know, nannies and everybody else. And her life was her lifestyle.

Not so much being a mom. But she actually was T.J.'s mom, too. Like, she's very close to T.J. There's moments where Cammy's like, I just want to be with my mom. The Fifth Avenue mom, right? Which is like, I love you. And she did love her daughter. Yeah, that's a good way to put in her own way.

Mm-hmm. So Jake takes Cammy to his house. Gets in like the country. The castle. It's a house. Wow. Okay. We have a castle.

It was a very large estate in the middle of the country. We're on a lot of land. In Europe. It's definitely a castle. So I'm like, I'm saying, sorry. He's a bodyguard and he has, look, I'm on Zillow all the time. This place was easily $3 million. Listen, Jen, he makes $100,000 a week. On this job, but sometimes he doesn't work at all. We don't know what body he's guarding, Jen. He's the best in the business. He's getting

the math isn't mathing, but carry on. Let's just spin with reality for a minute, okay? Like, they end up in the country. Yeah. Stop on your shit about it. Let's just get to the naked picnic because that was fucked up. And they end up in the castle. And they are like laying low, but he takes her. Very low. On the ground. Scavenger hunts.

And basically tax notes to various, like, trees. Unnecessary. Tells her to take off her clothes and go to the next tree. Like, gives her all these instructions. Never. mind the fact that he shouldn't take his eyes off of her because she's in imminent danger. Mortal danger. Yes.

But they're in the country. And it's like there's a note. Ooh, meet me under the tree. And then, ooh, there's a note on the tree. Take her clothes off. And ooh, meet me in the brush. And it was like, she is by herself naked in the middle of the, like, but they're in the nowhere.

And I'd be like, fuck you. Why would I go into the brush? I love this. No. She is a little nervous about it. That isn't even the weirdest part about this thing, but go ahead, one. They ended up in a beautiful pasture, both naked, and have, like, a little picnic. I love that, but she loved it, but she loved it, but she loved it.

I don't care how hot your body is, but do you want to eat a picnic, cross-legged and naked? Depends on who you are. In the middle of a pasture. He had a blanket. There was a picnic. There's bugs. I'm out. Like, but we're over 25.

I thought it was romantic. So, yeah, no, I'm out. 25, I might have done it. She was only 25. I thought it was romantic. So she was like, can we just stay here forever? I'll just run my design business from here. And he was like, no, we have shit to figure out.

You're still in danger. Your dad's still a problem. Like, we got to go fix our shit. And then we can do whatever you want because I'm devoted to you. So they go back. He ends up proposing to her while she's cooking eggs. And she turns around and he's on his knee. He proposes.

So this is the part where I like, that don't think you needed to do. May I ask you guys? And the timing of the book. Yeah, jump right in. It's fine. You know, iffy. But like, first sex to proposal. How long are we talking?

I'm thinking a month. No. I'm thinking like, no way. Oh, yeah. No, between the chasing and the parking lot. That was a week. I don't think so. I disagree.

We'll have to call Jody. It wasn't a long time. But that's the thing about these books. The fall in love till the marriage never takes a long time. Like, this is a made of December romance. like an October to December romance. Okay. Like this thing is not taking a long time. It's like a Monday to Thursday. There's certainly a good amount of time at the beginning before they start lusting. Then there's the lusting. Then the sex like between the Sebastian, the boyfriend, the first sex and then the proposal was not a long time. Like it was shortish. But I mean, the whole book was a couple months maybe. I don't think that's the point. She's cooking eggs and he is on his knee. She turns around. He draws the wedding ring on her finger. He draws the wedding ring on her finger. because he doesn't have a ring, which is a problem for me, Mr. Millionaire.

This is where it felt rushed. But if he had bought a ring and then he took her to go meet his kid... He did end up by it. And she was like, oh, what the hell? I don't want this. He would have wasted the ring. So I kind of like the fact that he just drew it on just in case. Dear listeners, he has a trial we don't know about yet.

Another side plot. So he has figured out he needs to confront the dad. and he has this whole backstory that he has to figure out before he can really make her an honest woman. So he takes her back to her place and then the best friend comes over, the design friend, and he's like, stay with her while I have all this stuff to figure out. And then ask Lucinda, the dispatcher, to like sit in the hallway and make sure she doesn't go anywhere. So we know that there's this woman, Abby, throughout the whole book that he really doesn't want to call. She's a woman from the past.

We don't know how she's the woman from the past. She may be the girl in the picture. We don't know. And we know that they're a part of his backstory. We know that he has to figure out the dad's situation because Cammy's still in danger, but he knows the dad knows more than he's saying. And the dad needs to come clean so we can keep Cammy safe. So he's like, I've got to go figure these things out.

Friend, stay with Cammy. Lucinda, stay in the hallway. Cammy starts realizing there's something fishy. going on. And the dad calls Cammy and says, Cammy, you're being an idiot. He's nothing. By the way, he's married. She's engaged at this point. She's super happy. Friends helping her pick out wedding dresses. So she's like, I have to go find out the truth. So she gets a frying pan and then goes out and like bangs Lucinda over the head. Or Lucinda. I was like, I really struggled with this because like, you could have killed this woman. Or given her a horrible, like,

What are you doing? They made it sound like a caper, like Lucille Ball, and it was like, you... I did not like this part. You assaulted this woman. No, you clock someone over the head. Yeah, who was trying to protect you. So clocks the woman goes to shake Jake down. So now we find out Jake is going to Abby's house. Abby is the sister-in-law. He had a wife. She perished. We don't know how yet. But they left behind... a child. And Abby, the sister-in-law, has been raising his four-year-old child for four years because he has been like, I can't do that. She's better off without me. He also questioned the paternity, which is how he justified it to himself. For like a minute, himself. Yeah. But he did know, I think, in the back of his sister. The wife cheated. So he questioned. Right. With his best friend. Yes. So he's in the house with Abby. The child comes down and says, hey, there's somebody at the door. So Cammy now, she's not at this house with Jake.

and a woman and a child, and she's like, you've lied to me, right? So she runs off. Jake chases her. They are like in a high-speed chase. Jake is like running on foot, chasing her car, and she gets out of her car and then gets kidnapped by a white panel van that's been like chasing her through the whole book. Now we're in like a true suspense. He doesn't know who's taking her. He's freaking out. And oh, by the way, Abby and the child, bye, like they are now totally. forgotten. We're calling Lucinda. We're calling the dad. He goes to the dad's place, punches him in the face, says your daughter's been kidnapped. You know what's going on. You have to tell me. Lucinda starts figuring some stuff out, using some cameras. Despite her concussion. Despite, right. She's, yeah, she's back in it. They figure out that there's this loser guy who has been following Cammy around via all these cameras. They figure out he has a parole officer. Jake stalks him. They find the warehouse. Jake saves a day, gets Cammy. We find out that the loser guy who kidnapped Cammy was in prison with T.J's mother's brother. So essentially, T.J., who we've been suspecting this whole time, might be shady, isn't shady. T.J.'s uncle.

But his uncle, who he's never talked to, because his mother got banished, the uncle was in prison with this guy and to get T.J. back and to get the dad back. They were going to stort the dad because the dad had had sex with an underage, which you didn't talk about as a ploddle, an underage hooker. I forgot that bullet point. And so they were blackmailing him about his sexual escapades. And he wouldn't give in so they were going to threaten Cammy. Is this a honey trap? I mean, you guys were recently. It was a honey trap.

Yeah, it was definitely a honey trap. So basically a 15-year-old girl that looked of age seduce the dad. You got a hobby shop. And then they used the pictures against him. And then instead of turning them in, turning himself in, he called their bluff. And then they started threatening the daughter, which is the whole reason why he hired Jake. But he eventually had taken Jake off the detail because Jake was asking too many questions, which made Jake even matter because he was like your daughter's in danger, but you're going to take me off of her detail. Anyway, that's where there.

But he was worried because he had that foundation that helped children. He was upset about himself. He was going to look really bad. Yeah. His reputation, he'd go to jail. So as it turns out, T.J. Not a bad guy, but his family certainly was. Dad goes down for pedophilia.

Business goes down. Jake and Cammy live happily after because Jake finally tells Cammy, while I married a woman who I thought love me, I went overseas. She cheated on me, came home from leave, found her with my best friend, left the house. wife follows him, gets in a car accident, dies, and then he is like traumatized, and her sister ends up raising his child because in his mind he could say that it wasn't his, but it was. So the end of the book, he and Cammy go to the house, Abby's house. They meet the daughter, Charlotte. Charlotte is very precocious, lovely, takes the dad in and then convinces the dad or he gets her in on it to propose to Cammy for real.

with a ring in front of Charlotte and they're all going to be one big happy family. But they're bringing Abby along the sister-in-law who's raised the daughter and they're going to literally be like one big happy family at the end. There were plenty of potholes, but it isn't lovely. Dexha was there, was good. There was a bit of suspense. You didn't know who was going to be the bad guy. That was interesting. But they were all bad.

There weren't very many good characters and it wasn't potholes. There were like craters in this story. There weren't that many. Okay, so TJ and a brother we thought might be bad, wasn't. Mom, a bit vapish, but like not a bad person. True. Sebastian? Okay, yeah.

The bad guys were bad. So like the dad, Sebastian, obviously the kidnappers. But like the other characters were fine. Jake was a whore. Yeah. Not the whole time, just at the beginning. Well, not when he fell in love. His whole life until he slept.

Aren't they always horrors until they find their true love? That's true. That is a fair point. All the billionaire romances we read, they are fucking fairs until they meet the line. So don't even. I guess we don't get the inner dialogue of the next morning. He's like, get out. I mean, it was just like, ew.

Disagree. Every billionaire romance, the guy is a freaking whore and talks about it until he finds the one. Yeah, I don't know why this one's set. He was just mean. But I think it's because we listen to it. I think it's because we heard the way that he talked. versus how we would hear it in our head where we're like, oh, that's kind of hot. He's busy, you know, in every other book.

She's right, Jen. We move past it in every other book. The plot is the same. It is the same freaking plot. I think it's because we listen to it. So to all the readers, don't listen. Please read. Read it.

I will tell you that I have such a better experience. If you don't want to, I didn't love this book. The voice is in my head. Overall, so I had read this a while back and I added. it because I love her as the author, Jodi Ellen Muppus. I think she's really good. But we needed standalones for the series, so I picked this one. I would say reading it again, I would give it like a three and a half to a four. Like I liked the story. I liked a bit of the suspense. But I do think that there were some plot holes going back. It was a very fast romance. And reading it again,

And like his character wasn't my favorite. Like he had some real trauma that we kind of glossed over. Right. And yeah. And we did her having to be with a man who had that much PTSD and had them as trauma. That's a hard thing in real life to deal with. Right. And she was like had no problem just signing her life up to that.

And that to me would have been a bit of a red flag. I'm glad she was with him. And I, you know, in the fairy tale world, like he'll be fine. But I think he has something to get over. She's not quite ready for. The further on to this book gives me anxiety. But I think the way the book was written was good. I like the suspense and the romance part of it.

But there were some holes for sure. So I'll say three and a half-ish. You want to go to cameras? I think they're going to be about the same. But I will. Listen, I think Jody is a great writer. I think there were parts of this book that I really enjoyed and really had a sweet moment.

and there were some good things in here. I think there were definitely craters within the entire book of plot. There were times where it was kind of gumshoe mystery, and I didn't like that. I didn't like the bouncing around because it was just too much. And again, it could be because I listened to it. But it was all over the place to the point where I think Jen and I talked about this earlier was like it was almost painful to finish. And I think the storyline was good.

But yeah, I only gave it like two stars. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. I gave it two and a half. So I was nicer. I was nicer than you.

A little better. Yeah. Who is it? It's like. I struggled a lot with the player turned the man in love like after one night of sex. I love that's your thing, which is like all of the books that we read. I'm telling you, though, it's the way you hear it. Also, all the subplots.

And then, like, suddenly we're in a action film. It was exhausting. It felt tedious to me. Right. Because it was like, wait, what? Now I got to keep up with this and now that. Too much. Yeah.

So it was two and a half. What about the chili pepper? I'm going to go three chili peppers. I felt like the spice was really hot. I thought the sex scenes were really good. It started 39% into the book, as I mentioned. And so I didn't feel like we had a way too long. It turned into an action book in the last third of the book.

And the last third of the book, the chili spices got going. And it was like, okay, okay, this is good. And then now and now we're like a Bruce Willis film. No, Jason Staten. I don't know how much time I can take this. Yeah, I don't know who that is or else I would. Oh, my God. You know what Jason Statham is?

Jason Statham. He's like the bald guy who's in all the British films. I'll send you a picture. He's very hot. He is very hot. I think he's married to the model, the tall model. See? I can't remember.

Tall model. Well, it's very similar. I gave three and a half on the spice because the spice was spicing for me, but there wasn't a lot of it. But I wanted to be in all the scenes. I thought they were cute. Like when he carried her out of the club, I was like, you know, swooning. That was great. Takes her back to the, you know, the loft.

And he was really into her. He did fall in love quite quickly, but he gave her everything she needed. And I thought it was hot. So I'd give it three and a half. Well, you see. Ah! Coming into it, I guess, I don't know, my mind must be like super far gone from some of the stuff we've read because I only gave it a two again on the spice because there were some good scenes. But I wasn't thrown over the top. I like to read these books and just really be engulfed by that scene. I want to be there. Like you said, Lynn, that's a star rating for me. I want to be in the room. I want to be there. I want to be her. I kind of felt like I was watching like a PG-13. It wasn't killing it for me.

And I felt like I had already seen the movie. Yeah. I did feel a bit like a novel based on a movie. Mm-hmm. It was very bodyguard meets any other movement Jason has done. That's what it felt like to me. It was action, had a tiny bit of romance to it. Yeah.

I couldn't get into the spice for it. It is funny because I think sometimes when we talk about spice, the plot matters. Like if you were taking the spice away from the book, right? You might vote differently. But if you're kind of meh on the book, even if the spice is good, like it sort of takes away from And maybe that's why I'm a three and a half on the spice because I was three and a half on the book. I liked the book. I went, it reads well.

She's a great author. I thought. And I like her other stuff too. Like it wasn't her best on sex or plot. But she has a couple of duets and trilogies that are really amazing. I do think that if I took a break from this and came back in, I don't know, four months and read it, I think I would have a different opinion. I agree. I think I might like it because I would have that tone, that audible sound out of my head.

And I could imagine what I think this guy should look like, how he should sound. And then I can kind of make my own assumptions. The voice has ruined it for me. Same. It kept it from being hot for me. That's a huge part. Sometimes the voice actors can make it hotter and sometimes they can ruin it. But I think anytime anybody gives you a star or a chili pepper rating, they have to tell you whether they've read or listened.

I think that has to go. I agree. All right, guys, this has been super fun. Thank you so much for joining us. We might have something special for you. We have a guest host next week. We're super excited about the book is Paradise Problems. We have our guest, Stacy.

She is a listener who suggested this book. I haven't read it yet. So I am super excited dive in. You guys have started it. It's so good. It's good. It's good. I'm excited.

Thank you so much for joining us. Please follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. our website, Boozy Book Gasm. All the things. It's all at Bozy Book Gasms. And on our website, we have a comment section. Please send us your likes, your dislikes, books we should read. And if you're interested in joining a podcast as a guest host, we'd love to have you.

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