Boozy Bookgasms - The Pomeranian Deserved Better!

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Beautiful Carnage by Caroline Peckham Family drama, forbidden love, and one dangerously adorable pomeranian—what could possibly go wrong? Join the cousins as we unravel this mob-style romance packed with passion, power plays, and Coco’s chaotic charm, buckle up.   Signature Cocktail: Beautiful Vengeance Our cocktail tonight walks the line between danger and devotion — a swirl of violet sweetness and innocence with just a little lethal punch of revenge. Like Beautiful Carnage, it’s intoxicatingly unpredictable Ingredients: 1.5 oz Vodka (vanilla or regular) .5 oz Elderflower liqueur 1 oz lemonade  .25 oz violet syrup sparkling water or champagne lemon twist or edible flower Add a handful of ice cubes to a cocktail shaker. Pour in vodka, elderflower liqueur, lemonade and violet syrup and shake until chilled (15 seconds).  Strain into a coupe or martini glass and top with sparkling water or champagne for a shimmering finish. Garnish with the lemon twist or an edible flower.  Please note you can change out the primary liqueur for tequila, or gin as well. 

He wasn't lovable. And I think that's important if you're going to make the Stockholm syndrome trope work. I concur with that analogy. We're in for some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride. Welcome back to boozy bookgasms. I'm Lynn.

I'm Jen. I'm Kim. Today we're diving headfirst into the chaos, corruption, and just a touch of Stockholm syndrome with beautiful carnage by Caroline Peckham and her sister, Suzanne Valenti. Everyone's got a vendetta, and love sounds a lot like put down the gun and untie me. But before we break down this enemy's-lover's dark mafia tale of passion and poor choices, Kim, what are we pouring tonight? Well, actually, Lynn, I'm glad you ask. We are drinking beautiful vengeance tonight.

Our cocktail walks the line between danger and devotion, a swirl of violent sweetness and innocence with just a little lethal punch of revenge. So it's intoxicatingly unpredictable. We've got some vodka, some elder flour liquor, some lemonade, violet syrup, which is difficult to find but yummy. And some sparkling water, or you could use champagne, you know, whatever float you boat. I like champagne. Lemon twist or edible flour for a little kick. It's tasty. It's beautiful.

It's got a nice little purpley blue color to it. Did you add the edible flower that we had in Vegas that one time? Yes. That's all I use. I love them. The little tinkles. So good. Well, this is going to be a fun ride.

Exactly what you would expect with a kidnapped mafia enemy romance. But there's some twist and turns and it's really fun. So we start off with a bang. Our main female character is Sloan. Calabrese is how I was pronouncing in my head. Calabrisi. So Calabrisi. They're Italian mafia, but she's 16.

She's the princess, the only daughter of one of the more powerful mafia families. And they have longtime rivals, the Rameros. And Sloan's life is not great. She lives a fancy life, but she's on lockdown. She's got bodyguards, security details, and absolutely no freedom. We opened the book with her wanting to scroll Pinterest because it's the only social media she's allowed. She's a mafia princess. But a little love for Pinterest.

I mean, that sounds fun. I mean, I like Pinterest. Big hearts. It's just not my only. social media poor thing. She's resentful of this, but she knows it's her lot in life. We open the book with her getting into the car. Her bodyguardess Royce, who is a character throughout the book. She gets in the back of the car with her creepy uncle. He puts his hand on her thigh. It's really gross. She's creeped out by him. They're driving along. She removes his hand. There's some sort of diversion. And Royce says,

just go around. And like any good mafia setup, it is a trap. Oh, no. Not a trap. And the Romeroes have ambush them ramming their car until it flips. Thank God the uncle dies instantly. But Royce, the bodyguard, is only badly injured. He's still trying to get to Sloan until he's shot in the chest, totally collapses, we assume he's dead. And Sloan panics, but she's reaching around. She grabs a gun, and then she becomes face-to-face with Rocco Romero. He's the oldest son of their family's sworn enemy, and she is freaking the fuck out. She points the gun to him and shoots, except for the safety is on. Oh, yeah. She does note that he has a beautiful face. Yes, he's gorgeous.

It's a shame I'm going to blow this up. It's an odd time to note that. Yeah. I listened to it and he sounded like, ugh, ugh. It was bad. It was like Jersey Shore. It was so bad. Well, they're like Italian mocks.

See, this is why I read. You guys get these voices in your head. It ruins the whole vibe. It's a time thing. If I've going to be on the go, it's the best way for me to get the book in. But, yeah, the audio was. Bad. Oh, yeah.

That's a shame. The reading the book was pretty good. So she tries to kill our boy Rocco. Doesn't work. Safety's on. He laughs. He disarms her. He's kind of intrigued by her, but he has to kill her.

So he lays on top of her and goes to choke her out. And she passes out. We found out later that he was purposely trying to not kill her. He couldn't do it. We fast forward four years. Sloan is now 20-21-ish. She's been in Paris for four years, getting her degree. She got a little bit of freedom.

Royce, the bodyguard, after. he recovers from the chest wound has also gone with her to Paris. She's made friends. She lost her virginity. Not well. But yes. No. She has now been called back. But with a little sidekick, Coco, the Pomeranian puppy. This dog. And I say this only because this puppy is a main character. It is really important. It's just really hilarious to be.

Fisty little dog. Half the people in this book die, but Coco makes it. It's just spoiler alert, don't you worry. Coco is a hero. Through every gangster fight, the dog makes it out of my own. Every fight. Every major name. gnawing on ankles.

It's amazing. No one shot this dog. So she's coming back to the family home to see her dad. I got the sentence. I'll be interested to know what you guys think about her view of her dad in this moment. I think she knows he's a bad guy. She's sort of resentful, but she doesn't hate him. She's like, I know I'm supposed to love him and I guess I do.

But we're not close. And he's got me in a cage, I'm trapped. Yeah, it feels more jailer, prisoner. But she's not hateful so much as she is, I think, resentful at this moment. Yeah. We find out that her mom committed suicide when she was seven years old. And one of the last things she said to her daughter was something like, In death, you get freedom.

And so that plays on her mind throughout this book as she feels a bit trapped. But she's back at the family home with the dad. and her dad's adopted son, Nikolai. Nicolai was adopted when he was like nine years old, was basically brought up as her brother, but really is like the protege or the heir to the family business. They grew up as siblings, though. They did. It was kind of weird.

They were friendly and he was always around and she doesn't dislike this guy in any way, but it was sort of like a friendship. It's like a sibling. She walks in, her dad sort of is happy to see her. Essentially, he says, I'm glad you're home. We got shit to do. You're going to marry Nikolai. And he's going to take over the family business eventually. And she's like, whoa, what? He gets down to one knee. He has a ring. He thinks this thing is a done deal. And Sloane is like, so she's like, this should be my decision, runs upstairs to her room. Dad yells at her, grabs her phone, takes out the SIM card, breaks it, takes her phone and says, I don't care what you think. You're getting married. a month. See you later. And no more Pinterest for you. That's right. No more social media. Now she has no phone, not even Pinterest. A little bit of freedom and this is how you treat me. Yeah.

How very dare you. I don't know how she's going to plan a wedding without Pinterest. I'm just going to be real here. He already had it planned. Oh, that's right. That's right. Fast forward. And by fast forward, I mean, we're on chapter three. It is wedding time. They are going to get married. Yep. That's exactly what I heard. But instead of seeing the wedding through Sloan's eyes, we see, we start to see it through Rocco Romero's eyes. Yes, the guy that tried to kill her. Oh, go. And he is in a confessional waiting for his moment because he is after Giuseppe, the dad, because these two families have been feuding. 20-ish years ago, he broke in to the Romero's house. The mom and one little brother, a four-year-old, were there. There were four brothers. So the other three brothers, including Rocco, gets shipped off to Nana's house. Sloan's family breaks in, kills the mom, kills the kid, burns the house down.

Rocco probably has a little bit of justice. Got a little animosity about that. Yeah, it's very Romeo Juliet meets the mob. Yeah, a little star croft. That's true. Both families hate each other. Hatfield and McCoys. Shoot him up every time they see each other.

How dare they? How dare they? And they all have to hate each other. So Rocco is hiding the confessional and he is like, why aren't we going? Why aren't we going? He's so excited. because as we find out, when he didn't kill Sloan, he got made fun of. His dad thought, you can't do anything right.

You fucked it up. And so he's been living with this regret for four years for not killing her. Well, not just that. It was a moment of weakness for Rocco. And it made him look weak among everyone. And it made the dad look at him like he was weak. I mean, I think that's your first glimpse that he's not an asshole. He tries to be real hard.

He's there to kill the dad. I mean, he is there to take revenge on Giuseppe. Frankie creates a diversion, blows up a couple cars. All the bodyguards rush out. But who doesn't rush out? But Nikolai, he is there to protect Giuseppe and Sloane. He's also the groom.

It shouldn't be running out. He's like the main guy. So Rocco bursts out of the confessional, runs up. So now it's like pure chaos, gunfire, screaming. One of them hits Giuseppe over the head. They're all fighting. This ensues. Somebody picks up a very large.

cross and uses it as a weapon. This whole fight scene is very visual to me, like the way she wrote this. I can just picture like the Jesus on the cross being like slung across like very killbill style. Yeah. Finally, Giuseppe like high tails it out of there. He's only there to protect himself. Nikolai is the only one there helping protect Sloan and finally gets knocked out with this big Jesus cross. Rocco goes to escape out the stained glass window as he's escaping Sloan, our heroine, who I love through this whole thing because she is not a damsel distress. Gets that big pitcher and hits Rocco over the head with it. He's pissed.

And he decides, you know what? Instead of escaping with not having accomplished my goal, which was to kill Giuseppe, I'll just take her. So he picks her up, throws her out the window in her wedding dress, drags her kicking and screaming, everybody's shooting, throws her into the trunk of the car, and then gets in to the getaway car. His brothers are stunned. They're like, what the hell are you doing?

What are you doing? This is dumb? But one of my favorite lines is he goes, I've decided to branch out into hostage taking and I think I'm going to be really damn good at it. Spoiler, he is not really that good at it in any way whatsoever. Bigger, spoiler, they're not good at anything. That is what I've discovered throughout the whole book. They all suck. These are the worst mafia guys.

Like all of them are bad. But this is where she gets her nickname Prince Pessa. Poor Nikolai, though, has been knocked out cold. He wakes up to Giuseppe not asking him if he's okay. But basically, like, how dare you get knocked out? Go find my daughter, you piece of shit. Nikolai, this is where he's complicated for me because he was kind of a flat character. And then he's like, oh, she's mine. And I couldn't figure him out for most of the book what his motivation was.

It was pretty obvious that, like, he wanted Giuseppe's respect. He liked Sloan. He was okay to marry her. But I don't know. I think he just didn't have a place. And because he was adopted, he wanted to prove his worth. Like he was worthy of the legacy. There wasn't any relationship building.

It was like she's mine and where you're going, you haven't seen her in four years. Four years. Right. But I earned her. But that's what I kept thinking. But it felt like he genuinely liked her. He genuinely thought that. The way she wrote it was like there was an actual relationship where there was really wasn't.

There was feelings on his part, but she was like, I barely know this guy. But I think it goes back to the brother's sister friend because there were times where she was like, oh, I hope he's okay or she cared for him. I think they had that relationship of brother and sister being forced into this relationship to keep the legacy at that point. Yeah, but she had zero option. But neither one of them I felt like was grossed out by it, just more like this is our lot in life. So Sloan gets put in the trunk. They take her to the getaway house, which I will call Kidnap Mansion. It's a secluded estate. It's in the middle of nowhere. It's surrounded by woods. And it's the dead of winter. There is snow everywhere. So that will come into play in her many escape attempts that this is not the easiest

place to escape. Rocco pops the trunk and Sloan has been screaming her brains out for three hours while they've been driving here and she body slams him as soon as he opens the trunk. This heroin is great because she never becomes a damsel in distress. She is always fighting. But Frankie, he is described as the youngest, all floppy black hair and nervous energy. It's Rocco and then Enzo and then Frankie. But Rocco has a reputation for brutality. Frankie's just confused. He's like, why is she here? Like, what did we do? What is happening? And Inzo's like, let's cut off her finger and send it to her father. Classic mobster. But Rocco's starting to finally realize like, oh shit, I've done this thing and I have absolutely no plan. There's no plan. But they have a cellar,

a basement. And he's like, that's where all put her. So, and they just close the door and lock it. We should say it's a wine cellar. Yeah. Yeah. They don't tire up to anything. But as it turns out, as she finds the light switch, there's like racks of wine. I just, so she's down there. It's freezing. It's damp. There's no blankets. They haven't given her anything.

She's in a shredded wedding dress. And she's kind of a badass. She's terrified, but not helpless. She has no idea what she's going to do, but she knows she's going to do something. She finds a wine opener and systematically opens every single bottle of wine in the basement. It made me so sad. What a waste. Yeah.

Hundreds of bottles of wine. It's such a waste. It's like an inch or two of wine on the floor. And then she takes a bottle and slams it against the rack to like make a commotion and waits for them to open the door. And poor Enzo is the guy that comes in. He did want to cut off her finger. He had a coming. She hits him over the head with a ball of wine and goes to escape. She makes it about four feet out of the door. This is her first escape attempt. They're all horrible. They're doomed before they even start. Yeah. And Rocco catches her. But instead of killing her, he takes her upstairs. Now she's more freaked out. Oh, no, he's taking me. Bedroom.

He's going to rape me. He throws her into a bathroom. Cuts off her dress. And so just fucking shower. And he has no idea what to do with this girl. And she is mouthing off, demanding answers. They have like a really fun banter between the two of her. Can we go back to the wine?

Sure. No. It didn't make any sense. What was the point of her pouring all that wine on the? the floor. She just wanted to be destructive. Fuck you guys. I'm going to empty all this wine. And I don't care what happens to me. And she says that. They might kill me for this, but I don't care. I just didn't like that part. Because you like wine. Yeah. I did feel like there was a lot of money seeping on the floor. I would have drank the wine. Right. That's what I said. I'm like, it's cold. Glug, glug.

This might be much better by the end of the night. Glug glug. Three hot guys and endless wine. Like, we can make this work. She didn't think this through. They can make this work. So anyway, they give her some clothes. Frankie is like she needs to eat. They made like a pimento cheese sandwich. Yeah, they made her something. That's important.

They're bachelors for sure. They don't know how to do anything. So Frankie does try to feed her. And Rocco, he is trying to be an asshole for asshole's sake. He is trying to make up for the fact that he didn't kill her to begin with. They give her a sandwich. She goes to take a bite. He smacks it out of her hand.

And then he says, you have to eat dog food. So he is a total dick. He's trying to be an asshole for asshole's sake. Also, there was never a dog. She asked that question, why do these people have dog food when there's no dog here? That actually never gets answered. No. It doesn't.

Plot hole. I was really upset about it. I think, like, he becomes endearing. But, like, his whole attitude for, like, the first 60% of the book is really annoying because he's trying to be a gangster, but he's not. So I thought he was cruel. It was cool. For a very large portion of the book, he will be very demeaning to her and dehumanizing. And I know I shouldn't compare every book to Sadie Kincaid, but at least her mobsters are nice.

They aren't cruel to their captives. They're nice to them. And these girls fall in love with them. They aren't cruel out of insecurity. Sadie Kincaid's mobsters are cruel because they're cruel. And it's a sexy cruel. versus this was cruel because he was a young kid who was insecure about bucking up in the first place and trying to sound tougher than he was. 100%.

He sounded like a Neanderthal idiot. He was like a Neanderthal. He was a bully. He was a dip shit. And it was hard for me to get on board with this. A great. Totally. I really struggle with him the whole time.

After he drops her in the basement with the bowl of dog food, Branky is like, you know, like you're. He's a nice one. He's the nice one. You're going to kill her. And eventually his guilt does win him over. And so he does go to check on her and it's bath. It's so cold down there. Hypothermia.

Yeah, she is risk for hypothermia. And she is freezing to death. Finally, the brothers say, you have to bring her up here. And he's like, well, what are we going to do with her? We have to take turns. And they were like, not our problem. You're the one that kidnapped her. And he's like, what do I do when I'm sleeping?

And they're like, I guess she'll have to sleep with you. And this is when it kind of turns because the brothers start taking bets. Rocco says like, no, I can't have her in my bed. she'll fall in love with me. And Frankie's like, I bet you a thousand dollars she won't fall in love with you. Inzo's like, I'll take that bag. She'll be parting her legs for Rocco before it's over. And Rocco says she doesn't even have to part her legs for her to fall in love with me. So this is now just 20 year old douchebag. Brothers. Yeah. Brothers. Locker room talk or whatever. And so now they've made a bet. They have a thousand dollars on the line. And he still doesn't change his tune. He's still a fucking dick for like 30% more of the book. But he does. bring her upstairs. He thaws are out. Yeah. He does handcuff her in a bathtub. He does handcuff her to the bed. He wakes up with her kind of nuzzled up to him and he doesn't hate it. He still doesn't treat her well when she's awake. But when she's

sleeping, he is very attracted to her. Yes. Tons of mixed feelings. And I think between both of them, like even though she's kidnapped and this is where the Stockholm Central comes in, she finds him attractive. And his mixed signals give her mixed signals like she starts to sort of thaw and then he's an asshole and she puts her walls up. This part of the book actually is the most infuriating to me. This book didn't need to be 500 pages. It took too long. And I didn't feel like it built up their attraction. Like it was just like, wait, I don't get it. But he was just mean to her. He was flat. He was an asshole. She was trying to escape every five minutes. There was no building. Yeah, there was no character change.

Her escaping all the time and her sort of derisiveness made sense to me, but the way he acted the whole time just imperiated me. So, anyway, now she's back upstairs. Rocco has to leave to go handle some business, which is basically to threaten the father. So he leaves Sloan alone with his brothers, and he goes and threatens the father. Take goes in like a yellow Ferrari, like a machismo jackass. Peels in and go tell him I'm out here. Someone might want to run on into your boss and tell him Rocco Romero was here to talk about his little girl. I don't see how this man was attractive to anyone.

She sounds beautiful. She's well traveled. Like she's the little sheltered. Were you really attracted to this dumbass? Really? I thought she could do better. But you guys listened so you had the voice in your head. He didn't come off that ridiculous on the page.

But I don't disagree. Rocco's out. She's been left with Enzo. Frankie. Inzo is the one. it's been threatening to cut off her fingers the whole time. They're cooking sandwiches because they're bad at cooking. And she's scoffing. And she's like, what the fuck are you all doing? Like, don't pick up a pan. Like, this is horrible. They're burning shit. And they're like, well, you do better.

So she starts cooking for them. And this is when they change their mind. They're like, whoa, she can cook and feed us. This is going to be the best tossed situation ever. She learned to cook in Italy. In Paris. Yeah. So Rocco comes home and gets pissed. Like, what the hell are you doing? He picks her up. his shoulder, drags her back upstairs, and then is looking for lipstick for her. So I'm confused at this point. I'm like, what the hell are you doing? He puts it on his lips and then kisses her. And I'm like, really? It was annoying. Yeah, what was the point of that? No. She was terrified, too. She was always half afraid she was going to get raped. And he loved it. He thought it was hilarious.

Well, yeah, I thought it was funny. That's his kink. He puts her in a very compromising position purposefully. so he can take a picture of her and send it to the dad to prove of life. Nikolai has been tasked with, I don't care what you do, you will find her. And now Nikolai is on like a rampage. He goes to their accountant's office and beats the shit out of him. Don't forget about a sidekick. Oh, right. I was like, but don't forget.

Cocoa. Nikolai has cocoa in tow for every one of these about. This white, fluffy Pomeranian is next to him everywhere he goes. He goes. Vicious. He has a motorcycle. So after Rocco goes to threaten everybody, Nikolai is sent on a mission,

and he goes out to his bike and the Pomeranian, and he comes in, like, jumps into the saddle back. Ridiculous. And he's like, I guess you can come. And so it's like Nikolai, the Italian mobster with the white Pomeranian. Yeah. They beat up the accountant. They find the files of all of the properties that the Romero's own.

And then they systematically just start taking them down, searching for Sloan. And when you say they, you're not kidding. Like the Pomeranian is attacking people on site. Like ankle biting. It's not just Nikolai and the Pomeranian. It's Nikolai the Pomeranian and like 20 mobsters. They're crowbar bashing heads. It's not good.

It's not good. Okay. So the hunts on. Nikolai's out to find Sloan now, but back at Kidnap Mansion. Rocco gets back. But their dad calls and says, I'm headed to the mansion, prepare for my arrival. Apparently he doesn't like mess. He just called ahead of time so they would like pick up their dirty socks.

But Sloan is out in the house. Like she's hanging out in the living room. She's cooking, chitch chatting. Yeah. And he is like, what the fuck is this was happening here? Like, why is this person we've kidnapped out here? Let's just kill her. So Rocco started to get a bit of an affinity for her, but he hasn't admitting it yet.

The brothers, of course, already know. Popper Ramirez says, get her out of here. the men can talk. So he takes her down back to the dreaded seller, but he takes off his sweater and gives it to hers. Rocco has to convince the dad. I have a plan. And he's like, well, you've fucked up the last three plans. Like, what the hell are you doing? And the brothers have to kind of come to his rescue and say, no, no, he's got a good plan. They don't know the plan, by the way. But these brothers are like brother goals. Like they back each other up. They do with the dad. Yeah. Yeah, it's really cute. No matter what. Rocco says, no, we're going to use her to draw out Giuseppe so that we can assassinate him.

Papa Romero's like, fine, and leaves. And they go and get her. And life returns kind of to hostage normal. She's cooking. And then they'd start a food fight in the kitchen. That was so fucking weird. He handcuffed himself to her because she tried to escape. Yeah, he did.

That's why the food fight started because they were handcuffed together when she was cooking. Yeah. And he was next to her. And then she threw flour on his face and was like he, he, he, and then dumped flour on his head. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You're out in the middle of nowhere and you're wasting food. And you're about to get killed. You're worried about the food supply.

Well, you're not, guess you're not baking anymore. You're out of flour. Well, she doesn't care if they're out of food. He did handcuff them together to, like, get her in line. And then it just turned into like a giggle fest. But then Enzo flushed the key down the toilet because he thought, oh, this is perfect. Now they'll be forced to be together and fall. in love. Rocko gets pissed and he's like, you must unhandcuff us. And he's like, sorry, keys are gone.

And I guess they really were. Because they never materialized. They have to end up showering together from their food fight. There's some touching, sleeping together. But Rocco can't sleep without being able to gaze out of the window. So then they have to cuddle. They have to spoon. It's the only way. Because you can't possibly sleep without. So he finally gets annoyed. They have to go into town. They get to the hardware store so that he can get some bolt cutters. But before he does, he says, this hardware store owner is like basically a peeping Tom, like he looks at everything. And I can't just walk in there with you handcuffed to me. That's not what a peeping Tom does. Or whatever. He's looking at all the CCTV cameras. He's a town gossip, but peeping

Tom is creepier. And he looks at all the cameras so he knows what's going on so he can gossip. Then he makes out with her on the truck so that he can show the hardware store owner that they're already together. And then he walks into the store and she says, I've been kidding. He's like, yeah, you're cute. And he says, yeah, the Missy and I are roleplaying. And he's like, that's adorable. And she's like, no, really, he kidnapped me. And he's like, oh, I guess she's still in the scene.

And buy some bullet cutters and also some rope. And the guy's like, no problem. What? Small town life. And see. This book was so bad. It was so bad. Back in the outside world, Nikolai is making a complete nuisance of himself.

He is going after all of the. Romero properties. But this is also when things get a bit interesting. So they're back to the house. They're on handcuffed. Thank goodness. But Papa Romero and his family, his sister. So the brother's aunt and then the nephew, their cousin, Guido, slees, show up. What a perfect name for that guy. He was a Guido. They all should have been Guido. But they show up and Guido is like, hey, she's hot. Can I get some? And now Rocco's getting a little possessive. He's like, no, stay away. for my girl. Property. Yeah, property. She is property of Rocco's or she's property of Nicolai or she's property of her dad. Throughout the entire book, the theme is, everybody owns this girl except for the girl. But I think in Rocco's head, she's his, in a less aggressive way.

Later in the book, it's all about like, let me give you your freedom. Like a kidnapped version of her freedom? No. Anyway, Rocco and his brothers hate this guy Guido. He has always looked up to them or wanted to be them, but he's always been creepy, killed animals as a kid. He's a psychopath. And he's a rapist.

Yeah. Basically, Papa Romero, the two brothers, the aunt and Guido have to leave because they get to go take care of Nikolai and they have to leave somebody there with Sloan and Rocco ends up being the person that stays with her. I don't think he minded. He put up a good fight. He was like, oh no, don't make me stay with the hot girl. Everybody leaves and Rocco and Sloan are now snowed in for over a week.

So they were meant to just go away for like a night and they get snowed in for a week. And this is where it all happened. How convenient. Hallmark. There's nothing hallmark about this book. The Balmeridian. So then this is, you guys will have to like come in here because this whole hot tub scene to me is like really bizarre. He takes all her clothes, leaves her a dress.

His mother's dress. Oh, so weird. Outside and like a tucks on like a balcony in the snow, but there's a hot tub. And he gets in the hot tub. Here's my dead mother's clothing. He wants her in the hot tub. Now she's hot and bothered and she gets in the hot tub. Then he's like trying to.

to seduce her. And then once she kind of admits that she seduced, he's like, ha ha, jokes on you. He's like, dip shit. That sounds right. I'm like, what? This is when you should just have the set. There's nothing redeeming. No. He just took forever to make it like 500 pages forever. He's just trying to prove this point. Well, he wants her to beg for it, but it's like, you're a captor. What is wrong with you? Turn on the charm, you dumbass. I know. If you want to win the bet, like, what the hell are you doing? There's a way to be a kidnapper that I can fall in. love with. This isn't it. Oh my gosh. Stockholm Syndrome 101. It's possible. You're just not going about it the right way. Be better, Rocco. After he's totally humiliated her for like the 87th time, he leaves her downstairs to make dinner while he showers. And Inzo apparently takes sleeping pills that are apparently just left out in the kitchen. She takes his sleeping pills, grounds them up, and then puts it in his pasta sauce. And then,

feeds them dinner. I thought this was kind of smart. She tries. She tries to save herself. She sucks at escaping, but she makes a lot of valiant attempt. Yeah, valiant attempt. They finally make it to the couch and then he just passes out. And then she's kind of feeling a little tour what I do now. Like he's now pussed out. Then she thinks, do I stay and make sure he lives? Do I escape? And she does choose escape. Thank God. Because if she didn't originally choose escape, I would have judged her more. That would have been annoying. But again, bad at escaping, she can't drive through in the middle of nowhere. It's below freezing. Four feet of snow on the ground.

There's all these woods. Anyway, still tries. Makes it into the woods. Wolves start howling. Meanwhile, Rocco wakes up Roggy from the sleeping pills. He's basically as drunk as you can be. But he realizes she's gone and jumps and gets into a snowmobile to chase her. That's the other thing.

So not only did he take all the sleeping pills, he drank like a bottle of Jagged Annas or something. So he was wasted. He's whammered. And on sleeping pills. Can't even see. He's straight and goes out. But he's going to save her. And why didn't she take the snowmobile?

She can't drive. Well, I don't know if she knew about it. You don't think you could figure that out? It's fair. But, like, she has tried to escape multiple times. She has to know there's nothing out there, but, like, miles of snow and freezing. She's an idiot. I'm sorry.

Tonight's the night. I'm drugging him and I'm escaping to nowhere in his dead mom's clothes. I think she's just trying. In the middle of the forest. Like, she's just taking advantage of every opportunity in the moment. She's not thinking ahead. And the Calabrese, I could make it. It made her seem like a fighter.

Yeah, she's a fighter. But then she'd be like, oh, okay, Rocco, I would like to make out with you. And then he would be like, you're an idiot. I knew you were going to like me. Oh, God. And then. Yeah. Totally.

Gold, gold. So I'm like, this book is ridiculous. So bad. It is ridiculous. Sloat has escaped now into the woods. He's on the snowmobile. And there's wolves howling. She's hiding from him, hiding from the wolves.

It's harrowing. It's something. He does finally find her. They have a standoff. Then the wolves come. He punches a wolf in the face. He sure did. As one does.

He's very messed by that. Yeah. He gets bitten on his arm. Wolves finally go away because he's being big and bad, except he's also wasted it on sleeping pills so he doesn't stay big and bad for long, starts to pass out. And he has a pretty intense puncture wound from the wolf. And he's crue.

crash the snowmobile into a tree. And she can't drive. Yeah. And he's bigger than, much bigger than her. Wolves are just like pacing around. So she is the heroine now, drags him to the snowmobile, rushes the snowmobile into the house on fumes, drags him into the house. But she had an opportunity to leave his dips shit ass in the snow. And sure. To bleed out and be eaten by wolves. And she chose to throw him back on the snowmobile and drive back to her prison. That was her choice after he's been. nothing but a dick to her. You deserve what you get, bitch. Well, he gave her a sweater and his dead mom's plus. He, date night. A date night worth him. He was like, yeah, I knew you liked me.

Adrian. That's how I'm hearing. Adrian. I knew you were going to like me. He wakes up on the couch after sleeping off his hangover. And he's like, she stayed. They have no, a week, snowed in this house. And they basically decide, you know what, let's give this thing a shot. We're obviously attracted to each other and we have a week. So let's do it. What else are we going to do out here? Yeah. I mean, basically the shining.

It is kind of the shining. There's a cupcake tasting contest off her body, like body shots. That was nice. Yeah. Creative. I like to talk about the first sex scene because. Okay. First of all, the sex was not that hot.

I have read better, steamy, or grating. But second of all, after they're done having sex, he's like, just tell me I was the best you ever had, right? Admit it. I just ruined you for all other men. He said cockily, I'm in love. She's only had sex with one other person. This guy is such a dumbass.

If a guy says that to you after sex, try to run again. Go get on the snowmobile and go. Girlfriend. Do better. Go in the daytime. Yeah, find a new way. But she is starting to sadly fall for him. We'll talk about spice writing at the end, but I didn't feel like the sex scenes were that hot. And maybe just because I didn't like. I think there were sex scenes for sex sake. So they basically fall in love. Mm-hmm. They sure did. Without saying the words during that week. But then the family finally comes back with Guido in tow. And they basically say we need to send a message to just. Seppi and Nikolai. Rocco, you've been stowed in for a week. You go. And so now he has to put her back in the basement after they've been like in a love shack for a week. And he's kind of mean about it and she

gets really confused again. He has to save face with his family. So he says, well, you're back in the basement. And then he comes in with a fur coat and all these blankets and a nice little pallet for her. So he's being nice to her, but he's saving face with his family. So he's definitely playing both sides and Guido stays there and the brothers say we got her. Don't worry. We will take care of it. They do not take care of it. Guido breaks into the basement. It's just Frankie and Guido there and he drugs Frankie. Yeah, with like a syringe to the neck. It was bad. And Guido breaks into the cellar and tries to rape her. But she's a fighter or a girl and she fights hard and kills him. Hallelujah. That was the only part of the book I liked.

Guido is dead. And so it's like, I know we went through that fast, but it was pretty quick. So she finally gets up to the top of the stairs. And Rocco burst back into the house. He's been racing back to be with her. Frankie's now out of his drug-induced coma and they're hanging out in the house. And do, do-do-do. Nikolai is there with his mobsters.

Coco is back. They did take Coco from Nikolai when they beat him up the first time. Frankie delivered her the dog. She's so happy to have her. But now, Nicolai is attacking the house and they must escape. So the brothers and her are the only ones left in the house. They're running around and she says, but Rocco, I love you. And then Inzo fucks it up.

Yay, I won my bet. So as literally the worst timing ever. Who saw this coming when they made? Oh, totally. Oh, of course. You totally see it coming. But this is why you break up? Not because he's a dipshit idiot?

No. He's been 100% manipulating her. Dug, he kidnapped you. Like, you fell in love anyway. Weird. So Enzo says, I won the bet. And she's like, a bet? What are you talking about?

Er? She knows she doesn't want to go back to her dad. He had her in a jail. There's a whole thing about freedom and how she doesn't have ever had freedom. And he's all during the sex scenes. They're like, I'm going to give you freedom. But she basically says, I can't be with. with you and they drag her all the way out to the edge of the forest. And he says, if you don't want to come with me, I'll let you go. But I really want you to. And she said, I'm not going. But they have the dog. So now the dog has gone from Nikolai being his sidekick. Now to the Romero brothers. She's left her dog multiple times. Nicolai does finally find her. But then delivers her right back to her dad's kidnapped mansion from one kidnap mansion to the other. Romero brothers are on the run. She's back with Popper's.

Calabrese and he says, no harm, no foul, you'll be married in two weeks. We'll get you a new wedding dress. So she's now basically in captivity. She tries to escape. Royce, the bodyguard, brings her back. I was really hoping he'd let her escape. He says, I can't do that. Your dad will kill me and my family. But I'll tell you anything you want to know. And Royce tells Sloan, Nikolai is not Nikolai. He is the four-year-old baby Romero. Your dad killed the mom, kidnap the kid and then burn the house down, then stashed him with some foster parents so that we could deprogram him. Then when he was nine, the dad adopted him and basically raised him in his own image because her mom never could have boys. And they tried and tried and tried and tried and had a girl.

Then she tried to leave and he killed her. She did not commit suicide. So the bridge that she committed suicide on was actually where she got murdered. Murder. So the next day, Royce comes and says, you have. have an appointment, takes her to a doctor, and they're going to give her a pregnancy test to prove that she's a virgin. Make sure she's the virgin capriced. I mean, anyway, she's pregnant. We didn't even think Rocco could have kids. He said, I can't have kids because I had mumps when I was a child,

and they said I could never have children, so I don't need a condom. Of course not. But he did because he got her pregnant. And it was the first time, I think, for him without a condom, right? I mean, always. It always is. So she's, of course, like, free time. doubt. But of course, now immediately in love with her child and she still does love Rocco, even though she's mad at him. But she knows her dad's going to freak the fuck out. And they say you can schedule the termination on your way out the door. And she doesn't. But she calls Nikolait and says, here's the sitch. I'm pregnant. And he says, did he force you? And she said, no. Can you please pretend it's yours? Or my dad's going to make me terminate it. And he was like, whatever I can do to help you. And he meant it. But again,

And it's her brother. Even if it's adopted, it's still her brother. And he's not in it for the love relationship. He wasn't gross enough. He was in it for the legacy and being next in line for the mom. And he loved her. As a sister. This made him better than the bodyguard.

Definitely. Because the bodyguard had a chance to do right by her and he did. 100%. And the brother had a chance to do right by her. And he did. So she gets back to the mansion and dad comes in, wasted, has already been told by the doctor she's pregnant. calls her a whore. She says, I know all your dirty secrets. Bodyguard comes up to help her. And Dad says, I knew it was you. Shoots him in the chest. And then kidnaps her again. So this poor girl has

been kidnapped a few times now. And she really sucks at getting away. Yeah. She's really bad. Yeah. And says, I'm going to take you to the bridge where I killed your mom. But Nicolai knows that she's stressed. So he immediately goes to the house, finds Royce bodyguard almost dead. And Royce tells him all the truths. Then he chases after her, but calls Rocco. So while she was being held captive in her dad's house, Rocco snuck onto the family property, goes into her bedroom, leaves her a love note and a dog. So now Coco, Coco's back. Back with Sloan, finds the love note. And it's like, I hate. It was like, I hate you, I hate you. I love that you love that you're not with me. Hate your face. I mean, it was. Yeah. And she's, of course, broken-hearted.

Like a fifth grader. At some point, on Coco's caller, she finds the cipher for this stupid love note. And it says, change love with hate. And now it's like, I love you, I love you, I hate that. You're not with me. Absolutely elementary. She now knows that Rocco loves her. This really speaks to Rocco's level of romance and intelligent.

Yeah. Yeah, he's great. So, Nick Lay calls Rocco, says, hey, come save your girl. Dad drives Sloan to this deserted bridge. Now Rocco and Nikolai are like racing to save her. Dad ties her legs to a rock. That sounds right for the mafia. Nikolai comes out, tries to confront the dad.

It's a whole situation. They're tussling. He pushes her into the river. Rocco gets there, jumps off the bridge, says, I'd rather die than live without her. I won't take a breath until I find her. That goes on for a while. Dad and Nikolai still struggling.

There's some shots. Dad gets shot. Dies. Thank God. Rocco finds her in the river. Brings her up to the bank of the river. Tries to do CPR. Close scene.

Next scene. She's in so much pain. She wants to be dead. She's giving birth to her child. That sounds right. That's right. With Rocco. They're happy as can be with a baby.

I thought she was still on the bank. They're back and kidnapped mansion. raising their child happy, happy. Now, Nikolai's in the wind. Frankie and Inso were trying to find him because it's their long-lost brother. But I imagine he'll come back in the next episode. There is book two. Yeah.

I'm a pass on that, but we'll see. Who's the character in the duology? I'm guessing it's Nikolai. Not Frankie or Inzo. I don't know. It'll be interesting because apparently they're all attractive. Mother brothers. And kind of like, yeah, morons.

But anyway, yeah. Happily ever after for Sloan and Rocco. and their baby living in a kid that mansion. Daddy's dead. Papa Romero's still there. He'll cause some trouble. He got soft around the baby though. Oh, that's true. Turn into like super grandpa. Warmed up. Is it really a happily ever after if all you wanted was your freedom, but now you're married to a mobster tied down with a kid? She seems like she's in love. I mean, if that's what you want. But if you wanted freedom and that. Well, who's to say that's not your freedom? That's her freedom. Well, she has more freedom than she had before. It's all relative. I bet she has Pinterest again.

They don't bring up, but I bet she's looking at it. Let's hope so. Anyway, happily ever after for her, ding, ding, ding. Star ratings. Kim, what you got? My overall rating was a three. I only gave it a three because, like you, Lynn, I could see the crucifix hitting someone upside the head.

I could see him waiting patiently in the confessional. Or her kicking and screaming going into the trunk. So the writing was good. The story was not. for me. But I did like the writing. Jen? I gave this a 2.5. Who? I thought it was too long. And I did not connect with a May-male character. I did not find him attractive or

appealing in any way. There's another way to do a Stockholm syndrome trope. I've read it and loved it. This one just didn't get there for me. I did give it 3.5 for stars. Wow. To Kim's point, I thought the writing was good. I could picture the cellar. I could picture her smashing the wine. The Crucifix. It was very illustrative. I could really see it all. And I like the trope, but I didn't like how she made it work. I wanted him to be sexier. I wanted him to be more confident. I didn't want him to be such a douchebag for 60% of the book. I would say 90% of the book. He was going to say, I think it's well over 60. He was just hard to tolerate. I thought it was an easyish read as much as I was aggravated. Like I never really wanted to put it down. I was. down. So I'll give a three and a half. All right, Spice. I wanted to put it down. I felt like the sex scenes were sex scenes to check a box. It just was so douchebaggy that there was nothing redeeming about it to me. So I barely gave it a two and I think only because like my pen cratched on like 1.5 was too many characters. Yeah, it was like a 1.5. I do not recommend. I went two and a half on Spice. I guess if you compartmentalize the fact that he's a total idiot, that says all the wrong things.

Some of the scenes were okay. They were enough for two and a half. I went three on sex. I thought it was inventive and like flirty and fun, but it was really hard to divorce how they got there. So that is Beautiful Carnage by Caroline Peckham and her sister, Suzanne Valenti. Thank you so much for being here. Please make sure that you email us, send us a Facebook or Instagram.

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