Boozy Bookgasms - What was the Mistake?!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Cupid's Mistake by Chantilly White Join Jen, Lynn and Kim and see if you can help us figure out exactly what Cupid's mistake was in this book. Hey, no slut shaming allowed!    Signature Cocktail: Cupids Arrow Ingredients: Vodka, Blood Orange Liqueur, Orange Juice, Lemon Juice, Chopped Berries (raspberries or strawberries) sugar, Sprite, Chocolate shavings for garnish In a cocktail shaker, add ice, 1.5 oz vodka, .75 oz blood orange liqueur, 1.5 oz orange juice, a splash of lemon juice and a teaspoon of sugar or sugar substitute. Shake vigorously. Wet and dip a glass rim in pink or red sugar crystals then fill with ice cubes. Pour shaken mixture over ice and add the Sprite. Drop berries in and stir to mix. For an extra bit of love, sprinkle the top with chocolate shavings prior to serving. 

I don't like a main male character that makes the girl work for everything. Oh, she did a romance book. And they, you should feel desired. You should feel like they're obsessed with you. It needs to be borderline stalking, if not straight up, kidnapping. Like, I mean, I am very disappointing. He's being trafficking you immediately by chapter two. Not true.

That's different. That's a different book. Buckle of literature fans. We're in for sure. some boozy bookgasms today. Join three cousins creating a titillating headspace where steamy romance novels collide with strong cocktails. So sit back, sip slow, and enjoy the ride. Hello and welcome back to boozy bookgasms. I'm Jen. I'm Kim and I'm Lynn. Let us be the first to wish you a happy Valentine's Day. Love is in the air. I can feel it. Today. Today,

feel it? Not yet, but it's coming. Today we are recapping and reviewing Cupid's mistake by Chantilly White, but before we unwrap that heart-shaped box of chocolates, what are we drinking tonight? So we are going to keep in theme today. We're going to have Cupid's Arrow. An all-time favorite of mine. It includes vodka, blood orange liqueur, orange juice, some lemon juice, some chopped berries,

and a little bit of Sprite. and what I think is really special about this is you actually top it off with chocolate shavings. So it's kind of an interesting and unique. And it's really pretty and sweet and romantic unlike this book. I had so many questions about this book. I really struggle. But the drink is good. The drink is bad.

It's making up for the book. Yes. The drink is bad. Can we call this a book or was it more of a short story? I don't know. Or is it a novella? sorts. It's at least a novella. If you could remind us, what's a novella?

It's a short book, Kim. Was it only 120 pages? Also, like, what was the mistake? I'm struggling with, like, where the mistake came out. Oh, that's a good point. All right, all right. All right. All right.

It's not going ahead of ourselves. Sure. Yeah. You know how I feel about that. Okay. So we first meet our female men character, Allison. She's a 25-year-old party planner in Southern California, working the room at her own New Year's party.

She's super cute and fashionable. She's wearing lubitons and a yellow satin, but very single at the moment. She's walking through a party feeling a little lonely. Oh, is she single? Okay, there we go. She's a mingler more than a singler. Well, her date's making out with her friends.

I mean. I think she went back to single pretty quick. She's like a dial a date kind of girl. She's not, yeah, she's like a serial monogative. She just like always has like a man on the backup list. That's not a much. That's fair. What would you call?

Playing the field? Yes. She's a pretty girl. Except for that night because her date was with her friend. Yeah. She and then she says, you know, I wasted all my hotness tonight because, you know, my date is no longer and now I'm walking around being hot for no reason, which I can relate. But that's okay.

She said the hookup prior wasn't even that great with him. Yeah. She didn't even really. like him. But she's also feeling a little lonely because her best friends have just gotten engaged. And her friends are Jeff who just got engaged to Greg and Mia who just got engaged to Derek. And this is a two book series. The first one is a Christmas book called Christmas Wishes. And that is about Mia and Derek. But we really don't spend a lot of time with them in this book, except that they got engaged and they're making out of this New Year's

party and kind of making Alice. I actually didn't even realize there was a first book. And I don't feel like there was anything about this that I missed. Yeah, like these can definitely be read alone. My recaps are very thorough. Lindsay, you can always come on me to bring in that information. She's walking around checking on things. And she also set up a bar in her garage.

She goes in there to check and make sure everything's fully stocked. And her neighbor, Sally, is passed out on the couch with her head resting on a giant bearded hairy man who's. also dozing. And Allison's kind of checking him out because she's intrigued. She really likes big men, but she's very disappointed in his wardrobe choice and his biggest violation being that he's wearing hiking boots. His eyes open just a little bit, but he doesn't move. He does kind of catch her checking him out. But she leaves the room pretty quickly and just dances the night away with her friends and really doesn't think about him again until she has a dream that night about having

sex with them. As one does. There you go. She spends a lot of time describing what he looks like, how offended she is by what he looks like, that he looks like a homeless person. He's very hairy. Yeah.

She's pretty shallow. I like Bigman, but she was kind of like he grossed her out but she was still intrigued and she couldn't figure out why she was intrigued. And then he caught her staring and it really freaked her out. Yeah. He was just messy. Yeah.

He just messed. He was homeless. And she was very... Yeah, he looked like a hobo, she said. So there's still people in her house that stayed overnight from the night before, and she's really hung over the next day. But this is just a typical day after a party in your 20s. They're all hanging around having coffee.

They watch the Rose Parade. She hears the garage and just runs out to check on it, and she sees this giant man hauling Sally out over his shoulder. He apologizes for disturbing her, and he leaves. He's like six foot seven, which is kind of... how she likes them. You know, she just kind of like, wow, too bad. He's dressed like a hobo. So this giant man's name is Ben Turner. And Sally, the neighbor, is actually his cousin. Ben's story is super sad. He was orphaned when he was 15. And Sally's parents took him in. He met his wife when he was

really young and they got married right out of high school when they were 18. He had inherited a nice sum of money from his parents, but he and his wife wanted to serve their country. So they both went into the military and went to Afghanistan and she sadly did not make it back. And he found out right before that that she was carrying their childs. He spiraled into a really dark depression and decided to take like a six year kind of a personal quest, I think is what this is called where you kind of live off the land and just worked through his grief that way. He also did a lot of giving back to communities and he's very passionate about that. He really, yeah. I mean, he went into. hiding essentially, right? I mean, there's some lofty things that he did while he was away,

but he basically like ran away to kind of lick his wounds, totally reasonable for quite a long time. We never really, I mean, we figure out like he wants to do something with all, you know, he suddenly wants to do something of this. He comes back to civilization, but. There's not a lot of details about what he wants to do, but it's a non-relevant taste. Yeah, but didn't it feel kind of weird? Like we rolled up every traumatic thing that could happen to him into a very quick. He's an orphan. He's this. He's that. He had a wife. But they served their country. But then she died. And then it just felt like we were just packing him to be this smoldering guy who's like, perfect. He has money, but he's giving it all away. He's the, I mean, it was just very like,

this seems a little too much. Yeah. His character development was very, very fast. Yeah. But in a way that like it didn't bother me reading it. And maybe we'll, get into this and sorry if I'm getting ahead, but like the lead up to their sort of them was long. I felt like, I mean, so long. I just kept waiting. I mean, it's a short book. I just kept waiting for them to just hook up with already. Page 115.

Yeah. I knew you were going to know that. Character development though, like it was okay. Like, I mean, you had to stuff a lot of it in for the short book, but you do get a sense of who he is. But yeah, just running away for six years and all of a sudden he's back ready to take on the world you're kind of like what i don't know felt like a hole so his his cousin sally is really more like a sister and he's he's staying with her and she decides he needs a makeover so she takes him i mean she does

like a saskatch he's got money so she takes him shopping fills his closet gets the hair the shave skin care they do the work so wave the magic one now he's a hidey and she also decides she's going to set him up with a dating service that's owned by a mutual friend Of hers and Allison's. What a coincidence. I mean, you guys aren't going to believe this. Don't they do like a bet or something? Like there's something there with him and Sally where she's like, I'm going to hook you up and just don't worry about it and I'll do all the work.

And he just basically like. He gives in. Like she she pastors him. Yeah. And they make a, it's like a bargain. Like, all right, I'll go on this date. But they make the bargain because she agrees to help him find a place to live now that he's back. Yeah. So a little trade-off action.

Right. Yeah, a little trade-offs. He agrees to go on a lunch date. Sally's like, just show up. I took care of everything. And she's kind of snickering. You guys aren't going to believe who the dates with. It's with Alice.

Oh, my neighbor. What? Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty. Everybody gets that. Why is she on there? Mutual friend.

And she also promotes this Cupid business at her party. So it's a win-win. an event planning. Her and her friend, right, have this like deal that she'll promote the dating service and then the friend will refer business back once they get engaged and she'll throw all of the engagement parties in the baby shower. Yeah. Yeah, it works out great. I don't know what's for Sally, but nothing. But yeah, so Allison's running late. Ben gets there first and he's got the table set up and Allison comes in really distracted by her phone and she gets one look at Ben and she goes from zero to wedding day, like immediately.

And it gets a, it's a little bizarre. Like, she's picturing him changing diapers. And I'm like, whoa. Well, she has the whole family backgrounds. Her last seems Kelly, they're Irish. And there's this whole family myth. She thinks that all the Kelly women, as soon as they meet, the person they're supposed to be with, they know immediately.

When you know, you know. And she's like, she thinks this is all bullshit and like, ha ha, great story ladies. But like, I don't believe you. And now she's like, oh my gosh, this is the guy for me, even though I've technically already seen him. But I don't know that. But I don't recognize him. Now I've seen him and he's hot and now he's the guy. Something familiar about him, though.

How many six from seven men have you seen over the course of two days? She said that. I can tell you my number is zero. Well, it's not two days. Like, it's like a couple weeks, I think. But she does say that. The coincidences were kind of coming together. And she's like, wait a minute.

I see a lot of tall men, but. not that tall she's not very right she's very flustered throughout the lunch and she's tongue-tied which is very out of character for her she's always very charming put together charismatic so he's amused by her

anxiety or agitation really and he thinks to himself me Tarzan Eugene he thinks not in his head well he had a very negative opinion of her he saw how she looked she saw how she kind of looked at him

And he at the thing, like he had a negative opinion of her. She's a party girl. She's shallow. Yeah. He made some generalization. And so he kind of was like, this is not going to be a good lunch, but we'll like make the best of it. But he wasn't going in thinking she's my future wife. Like, but she kind of endeared herself by being a bit flustered.

Yeah, that's for the Tarzan. But he had already kind of resigned to himself like, I'm not going to ask her out again. This is just practice for me. I'm checking the box. So my cousin will help me find a place. But lunch goes great, and then he, against his better judgment, exchanges phone numbers with her, and then walks her back to her car and gives her a very PG-rated kiss. And it's very sweet.

But, you know, Allison makes her a little weak in the knees. Like, she really likes it. And then she sees him get into Sally's VW van, which she recognizes immediately because they're neighbors. Well, she's also pissed off because she has this whole thing about how guys follow her. they're supposed to watch her walk away. She's supposed to be the one that walks away first, and she can't stop looking at him, and she's kind of mad about it.

Like, she is frustrated that he has the upper hand. And because she can't look away, she sees him get into the car and starts asking some pretty significant questions. Like, did you kid up my neighbor and put her in the back of the truck? What have you done to Sally? That's where her head went. And so, like, she confronts him at the van and is like, who are you? She jumps out in front of him,

And he explains everything. All right, right. I'm Sally's cousin. She knows right away the history because Sally talks about her cousin all the time. So she knows about the wife and she knows about the six-year thing. And they bicker back and forth. And this girl doesn't have to beg for dates. She assumes when he was on her couch and he saw her, he wanted to go on a date with her.

And that was not the case. So she's trying to understand how they ended up on this date. And he explains them that this was just a random coincidence. And she doesn't really like that. It's kind of a blow to her ego a little bit. Yeah. When he's just digging a hole with her for like 15 minutes, like she does not like anything coming out of his mouth, even though it's the truth. Like she's not like. Yeah, I didn't want to get set up with you. I thought you were a party girl. You're not my type. And she's like, but then he just is like, hey, it doesn't matter. I still want to see you again. This went well and I want to see you again. And then they kiss. But this kiss was way more passionate, like panting dropping kiss on the side of the van in front of the restaurant. Yes. This one is a lot more passionate. So she leaves and goes to her friend Mia's house because she needs a hug and I guess Mia's really good at hug.

And we should all have friends. Well, that we can just say like, I had a traumatic day. I'm going to need to come over to your house 45 minutes away so you can hug me. And I can raid your chocolate stash and your wine and talk about my day. Yeah. And you won't let go until I say. Like that's the kind of hug she needs. Mia is like, go for it with this guy.

He sounds great. And so she goes home for seven a day. is Ben does not reach out to her. But he said he would. He did say he would call. So she was expecting like by the time she got home, she had a message. This girl is used to guys reaching out to her immediately.

She is hot shit. Like she does not beg for dates. In fact, she's got a long line of suitors while she's waiting. I mean, she pretty much has a date every single night. So. But she's waiting for him. She's checking her phone all the time. Like she really wants him to call.

She's watching the neighbor's house. She's like, it's kind of almost like putting it in his face because he is the neighbor. So he's still staying itself. He's seeing these guys too. She goes out with this really hot guy from the gym and just as he's dropping her off, she's not feeling so good and she thinks it's because she's upset about Ben, but she's feeling a little queasy. So she sends the date away.

He thought he was going to get some, but he was wrong. And then he drives off and Ben walks over. She wants to tell him off and get mad at him for ghosting her. But instead, she just vomits in the bushes because she's got a really bad case of food poisoning. Ben takes care of her for the next few days. He carries her in, holds her hair while she vomits. Like, he's actually a really great caregiver. I feel like it took a long time to get here where they basically were playing around each with each other.

And then she gets sick and he like moves in. And names her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. So he, yeah, yeah. Talks to her mom. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff. Well, he walks, the mom thing is funny. Yeah, but it's very classic rom-com.

Like, oh, she's fine and then she gets sick and he's immediately the caregiver, the perfect guy. The one that holds your hair back, the one that's taking your temperature. He moves a recliner into her bedroom so that he can watch her sleep. Oh, so sweet. Yeah, no. Oh, so gross. You've been on one date with this woman, and so you are holding her hair back while she vomits. unclothing her, trying not to look, of course.

Get her clothes off, tuck her into bed, and then drags in a recliner to, like, recline while you stare at her while she's sleeping. You've known her for like two weeks. You've been on one day. After you didn't call her for seven days. She had every right to be frustrated with him. She deserves someone who's going to call her at least by day two or three. Like for him to ghost her for seven days.

I don't know where this is coming from. But he has a light. Seven days, though. He's a name. is new in town. He doesn't know. But he was trying to get his nonprofit off the ground. He was working on the business plan. He was working on his house. And in his mind, he says, I wanted to get this off my plate so I could concentrate on her. Now, did his communication suck? Yes. And he's watching the party girl have a rotating door. Does he want to get involved with that? He has like a

perception of her, which is probably not super inaccurate. I mean, but he basically also says she needed to come to me. She needed to make this her decision. I wasn't going to be the next revolving guy and like I had to basically make her want me as much as I wanted her. So he was also being somewhat manipulative by not calling her

too. I prefer the main male character to have an unhealthy obsession. Where they're calling incessantly. If they even see another man near your door they threaten murder or maybe even just go straight to the murder. I mean like

Yeah, with Dante last season, he like, he cut off the guy's fingers after he. I like to see a little bit. I just felt like he was. Yeah, I should come first. He was so laissez-faire to then have such an aggressive reaction to her being sick. Yeah, he was very soft. But at the same time, I'm like looking at him and I'm going, oh, my God, you're watching this chlamydia trap where everybody is in, out, in, out. They may have used condoms.

We don't know. She's got a revolving door. You don't know. Yeah, by the way, let's- slut shame on this show. We're not sludge shaming. For STD shaming. I mean, you guys know, like, it's a low bar for all the sex I love.

But all I am saying is, like, we are two-ish thirds through the book, and we still have not had one sex scene. We don't get any of the sex scenes with the revolving doors. No. No, that would have been. We got vomit. Mr. Homeless guy. You got vomit, fever.

Watching her sleep, you know, like. I'm like, what is this going to happen? This is when I start getting real annoyed. Well, I mean, Allison's also getting impatient with the lack of love. And he takes care of her. She gets better. She's kind of friend zoned by him. They're spending a lot of time together, but there's no, he's not putting any moves on her.

Well, once she starts getting better, right? Like, apparently somebody alluded to this. Her mom calls. He answers her phone when her mom calls. Like, that's very familiar. He didn't want her to worry, very sweet and hallmarky, whatever. Mom does exactly. exactly the right thing and calls the friends and it's like, who the hell is this guy in my daughter's

apartment taking care of her while she's sick? Because, I mean, thank God, somebody was rational in this book. So the friends bolt into the house right as she's starting to feel better to basically make sure she's not been murdered. And he introduces himself as her boyfriend. Now, they've been on one date. He's taken care of her while she's been comatose and three days of her being comatose because she's sick and now he's her boy. I think they, the illness bonded. She wasn't awake. Like, it's like a trauma bond. But she was the only one in trauma. When you hold someone's hair when they vomit, you're there for life.

I mean, you're in it. That's a big commitment when you go in and hold somebody's hair. For three days. That's huge. What he did was, yeah, that was a commitment. And it does say that she was sick in every way possible. So you know there's a lot of, yeah. So that's a lot.

To be willing to do that when you weren't willing to pick up. up the phone or send her a text for seven days. He was trying to get back to the non-profits, Jen. I don't know why this is so hard. I don't believe. I don't like it. There's so much missing here. I'd also like to say so far there's been no mistakes. That's true. It's called Cupid's mistake. Oh, yes. So I keep also waiting for a mistake. Like when is it? Should I spoil it and say there never is? There's never a mistake. Like, who's the mistake? This is like the five brothers that were brothers. It's the same thing.

I'm disappointed. It's a letdown. We can get back to it, but. We'll get to it. I'll wrap us up like really neatly. Will we? Ben is babysitting Sally's kids one night. And Allison's next door and she's like, you know what?

That's it. I'm going to get all dolled up. She puts on a pair of kitten heels. I don't know how tall she is, but she's got to be pushing six feet based on. She's pretty tall. It was. And a size two. Five nine.

to also break that out. She was tall, I think. Yeah. Yeah. When she had heels on, she was taller than six feet men is what she was saying. So anyway, it doesn't matter. She puts on the kitten heels. She goes next door. Then answers the door in a tiara, a pink apron, fake nails, lipstick.

I mean, he's playing with his nieces. It's very adorable. She thinks it's hilarious. This was very endearing. I liked it. And then she has a tea party with him and the nieces. And she watches him put them to bed. and she's falling in love by the minute.

She's seeing all of this and she's like, oh, you know, she had already pictured him changing diapers before she'd even introduced herself. So, you know, he was fitting right into her. This is weeks after she was sick. So, like, they've been hanging out for, like, three, four weeks. He's shown her his new house that he hasn't moved into yet. She loves it.

There's all this, like, very platonic relationship building. Well, they're watching movies together. They're cuddling on the couch, and then he's saying goodnight. Sing her on the forehead. Like, heck. off he goes. I'd be annoyed too.

It's very hallmarky and I'm waiting for the end. Yeah. And again, the end kiss. I want, you want a male character that is so obsessed with her. He can't keep his hands off of her. Like one kiss on the forehead isn't enough.

Like certainly not for weeks. That's not everyone's cup of tea. Well, if that's your cup of tea, this is the book for you. That's my brand of vodka. Some people like up. It's not even a slow burn. There's no passion.

You don't even get, like, excited about the potential. That's just it. There's no passion. And there's no explanation behind it until after you're already just exasperated by this storyline. So they put the kids to bed and they start kind of making out on the couch. She comes on to him. She's really put. She's doing all the work here.

And she says to Ben very straightforward, like, I want you to take me home tonight and I want you to stay over. He starts to kind of say, oh, I don't know. Sally's going to be late. Well, then the garage door goes up. And Sally's home. And Sally's exhausted. She doesn't have time to chit-cha. She walks in, goes right to bed.

And so now Ben doesn't have any reason not to walk her home. I don't think he didn't want to take her home. I think he was baby-y. Yeah, I mean, it does come off. Like, he's like, he is into her. He's getting into the making out. But he says, like, I have two nieces to watch. It's going to be late.

And she's desperate. She's like, don't care how late it is. Come over any time. time, I will stay awake, you can wake me up. I mean, she is the one pursuing this. You have to wonder, like, how long been would have let it last if she hadn't, like, been the one pursuing him. Well, yeah.

But Ben's a gentleman. He's an ex-military. He's, like, slow pace. It's fine. But meanwhile, you know, she's the party girl. She's go, go, go. She's instant gratification. And he's not.

Yeah. He's the slow. And he did say that. And I think this is where Cupid's mistake is, is this the right pair if they are so full of opposite. That's fair enough, but that is a stretch. Like, that is not presented. Literally on the back of the book. It is. I did not. That's, okay, I didn't read the back of the book. But I, you said that and I'm like, no. That can't be the mistake. Like, they don't even present that as like an option in the mirror. They never bring up Cupid again. He's looking for stability. She wants a good time. Will Cupid's arrow

find its mark this Valentine's Day or will their pairing be Cupid's biggest mistake? Oh, because of the website Cupid's whatever paired. them should they be together? Yes. But that wasn't even in the narrative. Or will it be the mistake? Since they get together, it's not a mistake. They were both, they were both into it.

So it's, they're just slow. Anyway, this is, so I thought this was the way he put this was very bizarre. But he did say he wants to give the slow burn and the smooth glide. It's cringy when you say that. Yeah, it's crudgy the way you said it. I don't know if I pictured that correctly. say this cringy moment has been brought to you by Jen. That's her specialty.

But he did say that. I don't write these books. I'm just repeating what I read. You should. We'd make a fortune. Just repeating what I read in the text. A slow glide. He said smooth glide.

They're talking about it and he tells her that he needs a key. And she thinks he needs the key to her apartment because she's made it very clear she wants to bang tonight. But he really meant the key to her heart. This was over explains. Also gross. I'm like, oh, gross. Just bang her. Like, let's Just open the door. Also, you...

He throws the key into the, like, doesn't even get close to the key bowl, and they just bang on the floor. Okay. But I have a question. Thanks, Jim. You know, the guy you want to bang is right across the street. You have literally set the apartment tone. You've got candles. You've got stuff set up. Do you lock your door when you go right across the street? I don't know their neighborhood. It's still five.

It's still five. doors down and she was going to stay in the house with the she just had a hobo in her garage six weeks ago it was him and it was a party i would have i didn't i don't know i wouldn't have locked my door i would have shut the door but i don't think i would have locked the door because i would want easy access i lock my door when i walk my dog too long i knew i was coming back i knew i was coming back with him i think she didn't know she was coming back with him without getting a lot of backstory on the neighborhood well i'm not going to fault there for locking the door. I think I lock my door when I walk two blocks and I know I'm coming back. My husband locks my car door while it's in the garage. Anyway, they're making out and this is

where we find out that Ben's hand and feet weren't the only oversized appendages on his body. His ears were also large. I mean, he is six, seven. You would assume. You hope. If there's a six, seven man with a micropine? That's odd. Put him in the Guinness book. So anyway, the spice was medium. I felt like it was a little strange. I wouldn't even give it like a slow simmer.

I thought it was low. There was no spice. It wasn't even a slow burn. It was like, was it a smooth blood? No, and it doesn't get less creepy when you see it. It was like, this is like the last, I don't know, help me, 20 pages. I mean, it's like so much lead up. you have this like one semi-decent sex.

I made this as a note too. Like, did I miss something? Because these people literally, you know, been in the friend zone. This is their first time to be together. And these are the words that she says after having sex with him. In his hand, she was reborn. He guided her across new continents of pleasure. In his arms, she discovered new depths of lovemaking,

an emotional connection she'd never experienced or imagined. That was the slow glide. Yeah, that was not displayed in the writing of this sex scene. Just not getting in there with the slow glide, that's the outcome. And there are so many cheesy phrases. And Jen, like you mentioned a couple of them, but even when I opened it, I read the first couple and I, I looked at my husband, I go, I'm not going to like this. Allison refused to let her mood get tied up in knots by the narrow ribbon of any. envy winding its way around her heart.

What the fuck? Like, that's the second paragraph. But there were so many of those that I just, I couldn't get past it. It was too fluffy for me. It was flowery. But that part, I was like, you're on a new continent? Multiple continents. We spanned multiple continents with this one sex scene.

We all need to find a six foot seven hobo. With the extra large feet. I mean, listen, if that sex scene had been like, half the book, then, you know, there's enough time to really understand how earth-shattering it is. Yeah, I would have liked more descriptors. After nine rounds of sex, Ben reminds Allison and us, because we weren't aware. That is Valentine's Day. Did you guys know that until now? I didn't. I mean, until he told us. Like, he was like, oh, wait, this is a book about Valentine's. Oh, yeah. It doesn't really come in at all. Yeah. Yeah. So Ben says, I have a present for you. And he's

stashed this gift and hid it in her wine cabinet or something. His parents passed when he was 19, or 15. It's his mother's necklace that is the first gift his dad ever gave his mom. After one night of sex, nine rounds. No, but he stashed it when he was there. It's been waiting for prior. So he obviously wanted this to be his first gift to her. But I think, Ben, if you're feeling that strongly about her. You probably should be giving her signs, you know, before the nine rounds. He was out of the market for six years. He's rusty. He's rusty. This is an interesting part too, because he says, I was essentially celibate for six years, except for what I needed, but they never goes into, so did he have sex? Was it just his own hand? He says it multiple times. Like,

I was essentially celibate for six years. I'm like, I'm like, I. need more information. How were you a sentence? Like, were you a celibate or not? Like, was it prostitutes? Was it you? Like, I don't know. I needed more.

Heidi hole, I don't know. There's too many things. The Kelly myth is correct. They end up together. After 45 days of courtship. I would like to note I didn't miss Kim saying Heidi hole. Yeah, that wasn't going to go unnoticed. Then tells Allison.

She makes him happier than he thought he could ever be. and he says, say you love me. And Allison says, oh, Ben, I do love you. And then we move to the epilogue, which is 51 years later to the day, which must also be Valentine's Day. So unnecessary. Actually, I didn't hate this conclusion, actually. It was cheesy, but I didn't need it. They're in Corona Del Mar. They have a beautiful beach house. They're celebrating, obviously, their 50th anniversary. They have kids, grandkids running around. It's a lovely day. She's still wearing a locket.

She's wearing a locket. You assume it's the... It's that one. And then Allison whispers a special thank you to the golden arrow, blind Cupid, shot straight and true, forever joining the hearts of a giant hobo and his high-maintenance party princess. The end.

Credits roll. Credits roll. Thank God. No. Still struggling with what the mistake might have been. I think it would have helped if at some point one of them would have said, this is going to be the biggest miss make in my life. Is this a mistake? If you're going to call this thing's stupid mistake, you got to make it more obvious than just on the back of the book.

And if it's a Valentine's book, let's make it a little more valentine. I didn't feel any romance in the air when I read this. Not when she set up her apartment. She set up the apartment really nice. But there weren't any Valentine's decorations. It was just, you know, set in small. say I'm decorating four valentines. Yeah, you only really know

the timeline because he said it. The book was fine. I feel like there was a plot hole with the Cupid's mistake. I really struggled. By the time I got to the end, like my question was, where was the mistake? Where was the potential mistake? Like, I just didn't... I'm just surprised he didn't ask for an STD test.

That's all I'm saying. There were a lot of women. Didn't you call her a chlamydia princess? I did. Blood shaming. I mean, let the girl have some fun. No kidding. You're what? She's 25. She's not to have a good time.

I get it. She's going to date every night. She's hot. All right. Ratings. Jen, I know this was one of your favorites. You can go first. I'm going to give it one and a half.

Wow. Sorry, Chantilly. I'm sorry. We think you're lovely. I did read it in one sitting. Same. And it was a quick read and it was an easy read. And then spice wise, too.

That was good. That was generous. So there was, I mean, there was some. There was some sex. A little, yeah. I gave, I gave the book itself a two. There was a story. It was slow for me.

And I didn't get to the sex fast enough. But there was a story. It flowed. It didn't feel rushed necessarily, but it didn't spend time on the parts that I would have wanted them to spend time on for this genre. But the sex I would even give like a one to a one point. It just wasn't satisfying because I think because I was so annoyed that it was so late in the book and it just was so quick. I was so annoyed by that point because I also read it in one sitting because it is short and is fast.

And I was just annoyed with how I wanted it to be different. For a novella that's like a trashy romance novel, you want it to get to the trash before the last 25 pages. Okay. So for me, I would say this resembled a typical hallmark rom-women. com scenario. The spice was so light that it was almost non-existent. You could almost see it in a rom-com where they go behind a closed door and you never really know what happens. God, I hate to do this. I would rate it a two in the writing. I do think the writing got better as we moved through the book and I did finish it in less than four hours. I sat down and whipped through it pretty quick. Spice,

there just wasn't any. I don't even know if I would give it a one on spice. I didn't, I didn't feel spicy. Romance. Yes, there were some romantic parts there, but there wasn't any heat for me. It just was kind of meh. No. Yeah. But there was some description around. Yeah, but would you call that spice? Like, that's description. I mean, are we ranking the size of his feet as spice? That's description. And the making out is like more romance than the slow burn part. Like, you know, it's funny that you said like it's kind of hallmark. And we say this sometimes about spicy books. You know, when I started on my trashy romance journey, I started with lighter spice. You have that kind of like slow burn, the kiss that, you know, isn't meant to be. And then you keep going. And then there's usually

one sexy and two thirds way through the book. And then there's a decent conclusion with happy ending, right? And so I guess too, like as we think about how we rate these books, like, what is it trying to be? Because I'm like, as a trashy romance novel, this really failed. But like, she probably wasn't intending it to be a trashy romance novel, right? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, a romance novel that has some sex in it. But as I'm looking at it, that's what I am here for. And it didn't satisfy that. But it wasn't a bad book.

It just didn't satisfy what I was looking for. No, and that's an excellent point. Great. We're a little harsher because we're looking for the darker sign. We're moving in that direction. High passion, high sex. Yeah. 10 years ago, I would have gone the romance side.

I would have been like, oh, it was kind of sweet. Now I'm like, where's the whips? Where's the bad guy? Where is the papal? Where is the mafia guy that's cutting off the guy's fingers? Who's the mafia? But I think we've said this before, too. You want to be the female man character in these parts.

You want this to be an experience that you want to have. And what woman wants to have to do all the work? What woman wants to be ghosted for seven days by a guy she just had a great date with? Or has to come on to him and do all the work and feel a little, slut shamed because she has dates every now and then. For every night. That part was what I just couldn't get past because I just didn't feel like he made her feel desired.

Yeah, she was definitely chasing. She was the aggressor, right? She was chasing him. And you do hear him say, like, because she's this party princess and because she has all these dates, he doesn't want to just be one more guy, but he's manipulating the situation by like staying away. But I still, I don't like that either. You know, like just take, you know, throw up against a wall.

tell her she's yours and like, you know, like start the romance. Yeah, man. But it's almost like negging, right, where he's not, he's doing exactly the opposite of everyone she's ever dated, right? And he's doing it on purpose. Instead of complimenting you, he's being negative towards you. It's that that's what the hook was to get her. That's what it took in the book.

And it worked. Obviously he knew that. And your masculinity and that you're going to, you're better than all those guys. But I think he was confident. That's why he didn't care. Go over there. Get your girl. days.

He was confident. He was like, she will be mine. You know, I think he was. Which was a little cocky considering like she could have had all these other guys. But then he spent weeks, weeks at her house after she got better, she's not going on dates. They're the, they're hanging out exclusively. He's a widow. Without.

He's a widow. He's, he's romancing her. Seven years ago. Yes, but. He's not nice. 90. He's like 29. And also she died seven years ago. And he had essential sex in the six years. We don't know what he was doing. Essentially. He got off in those six years. But I'm not judging. It's fine. There's no judging here. It's still a great Valentine's Day, even though this wasn't our favorite books.

There is still a romance story. There is a romantic story. There's a happily. Never after. Love. There is friendship. There's friendship. There's love. I mean, it's... Well, and I got to spend it with you ladies.

I should have said happy Galentine. Aw. So, thank you for recapping this with me. No. Kim, there's the love. I love you. Sad little Galentine note.

I think we'll... Thank you. Joining us today for this. And until next time, happy reading. Bye, guys. doing you like that Kim it's hurtful because it's fun because it's fun she likes to hurt thanks for tuning in we hope today's episode was the climax of your day leaving you breathless and wanting more until next time remember to indulge in the pleasures of life and to keep the passion alive you can find more tantalizing episodes at boozy bookgasms.com enjoy the ride and we'll see you

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