Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Billy Gardell: The Health Decision That Sent Him Back to Open Mics

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Billy Gardell joins Tom Papa to share how rebuilding his health led him back to stand-up, and why he had to begin again at open mics. They revisit the last-chance audition that became Mike & Molly, the lessons of James Burrows, and the family relationships that keep Billy grounded as he returns to touring. Billy Gardell is touring now! Married Moments is also out now. Our thanks to: IQ Bar! Text PAPA to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. ASPCA Pet Insurance! Go to https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/PAPA to find out more. The ASPCA® is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. For terms and conditions visit: https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/more-info/state-documents-and-sample-policies/. Products are underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company (NAIC #26581), or United States Fire Insurance Company (NAIC #21113) and distributed by PTZ Insurance Agency Ltd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Discover coffee plus on nispresso.com. I went down to the Irvine Improv with the wife and watched Ian and boy he was having one of those shows like you know what you have those shows where you're so dialed in yeah that you look at him and they start cracking them like you know those nights like there's good nights but then there's those nights and he was having one of those and I swear to God man I got a twitch in my left shoulder yeah and I looked at Patty and I go I think I got to see what and she's like really and I'm like yeah so I started just going to open mic night over flappers and Burbank and they were lovely with me just Tuesdays and Wednesdays I'm trying to make no noise. Just see if I could still do it. Yeah. And it was funny the hurdles I had to overcome, because I used to be such a big gregarious guy, that the energy all shifted. So on stage, it went from like driving a minivan to a coupe. And I was like, well, this is a different, because I went from the, get out of the way, to the, I'm sorry, did I bump you? Right. So I had to adjust to that. And then I had the thing of, you've been on television. You can't suck. You've got to show up. And then it would hit me, you're here on a Tuesday, there's 12 people. Relax. Right. And so I just

took away all my credits. I said, don't say no credits. I just say Billy Gardell's next. It's breaking bread. All right, before we get started, I want to say two things. Number one, Shalube, who I worked with on Monk and is a good man. However, your show ripped the title off from this show. This is the original Breaking Bread, and that's what happens when you hire kids at Google to write creative copy. Okay? This is Tom's podcast, Breaking Bread. Come on, Tony. Number two, last time I talked to you, you were kind enough to have me on when I reentered the internet a year and a half ago. And I said to you in our podcast, I'm going to really work on getting healthy. And that happens. So today's prediction is I would like to get on a dramatic streaming series

where I'm smoking cigarettes, writing shit in a notebook and solving cases. Can't hurt to try. And it's great to see you. Thank you. You too. Thank you. Your health journey is so profound and so great It's crazy. That when I was conflicted, because I'm like, I got to get this bread. And then I was like, wait, he might be off bread now. And we just bake these cookies. Well, I can get one cookie in. You can get one cookie?

Yeah, I have to look at everything like the, I only have so much space since, because I got the surgery, the bariatric surgery. Okay. And so I only have 12 ounces to work with. So I've got to be real selective. 12 ounces. But the problem is the fat Hulk is still running around and they're like, pizza. Like, we're not doing that right now. So how big?

Maybe I'll take some bread home. Okay, yeah, the bread's going home and I'm going to give you the little cookies. Yes. And you can share them with your loved ones. Yes. How big were you at your biggest? 3.79. And this is Mike and Molly?

No. It was at, it was weird. I fluctuated. I did this thing where I would gain 30 and lose 30 every year forever. Wow. And then at Mike and Molly, my highest was 375. Right. Then I lost a little bit on my own when I did Bob Hart's Abashola, and I got down to a Sveld 2-75.

Wow. And then, you know, as my doctor says, after 50, the warranties start running out. And so I had type 2 diabetes. I had some cholesterol stuff, some heart stuff. Wow. And you can't outrun those. I think the only reason I was able to survive as long as I did is, one, I got decent genetics, and two was, you know, I played some sports when I was younger.

So I was a big fat guy, but I was pretty solid fat guy. Right, right. And I could carry the weight for a long time, but eventually you can't outrun that. How tall are you? Six foot. You're six foot. Yeah, so I was, I was getting to the point where it was like, the doctor was like, you have to do something. And then I got to the point where I hurt my knee and I couldn't even walk for exercise.

And I was like, I have to do something drastic. So I got the surgery and it's been a couple years now. And I probably saved my life. I'm not on any medication. Really? 80s is gone, yeah. Diabetes is gone. Which is crazy.

They said it happens with a lot of the patients who get the full bariatric. And I've had my A1C went from 10, 6 to 5.3. Whoa. So, I don't know, I get to annoy my wife a little longer. Amazing. It's a good thing, yeah. How much better do you feel? Man, there are so many joys and obviously the health, because I wanted to be there for my son.

You know, we're good dads, so you know how we are. We're savvy. Yeah, our kids went to school together. And I love that. They went for ice cream together. We know you were smoking weed 11 o'clock I'm gonna go with some ice cream

Yeah yeah okay sure yeah I used to go for ice cream too You know it's so funny I bought it the whole time Did you really good? I knew what they were doing I was so naive There's still great kids though

We put a couple great ones on the pile But they were my motivating factor It was like I don't want to survive What I've survived Succeed where I succeeded Yeah And then not be able to get out of a chair So I had to look that in its face.

And for anybody out there struggling, if I can do it, you can do it. And don't let nobody tell you different. Do whatever it takes. I was on Ozempic for a year. And I was their spokesman, but it was for type 2 diabetes. And they didn't know it was a weight loss drug yet. So I stopped doing that for a very nice paycheck. I stopped doing that and just got the surgery because I just wanted everything to change.

But had I known it was a weight loss drug, I probably would have rode that out. Did you not? They had no idea. I was just taking it for type two. And it wasn't making you lose weight. I lost maybe 12 pounds. Really? But I think they started increasing dosages and all that.

And then they found that it had other, you know, productive things. Wow. So I just went with the surgery, which also comes with downsides. But overall, the gift of being able to go on vacation with the family, like, you know, and if they go, like if we're on a boat and they're going to go snorkeling one, like, you know, you take a snorkeling tour, you know. I used to have to sit up, well, tell me how it is. You know, if I went in the ocean, the fish swam the other way, you know? So now I get to do that.

If my wife wants to go for a hike, I can go hiking with her. But the stupid joys for me are like being able to fly in a middle seat if I have to. Like being able to bend over and tie my shoes and the bow stays in the middle. You know, and not having to shop at, like, to go into the mall to me is still like it's giddy. Because I missed all that in the 80s because I was a fat kid. I wasn't going to be able to buy anything at the market. could hang out at the food court, but now I can go buy something off the rack. And it's just those little freedoms that you go, wow, man, I'm so grateful I can do this now. I know those are simple,

stupid things, but they mean the world to me, you know. It's such a great, I mean, it's such a great thing because you were such a character. Oh. I mean, Mike and Molly, it was like, you know, you were. That one I can say, I think, is a legit classic. Yeah. Because it went from 2010 to 2016, syndicated for five years. Wow. Resindicated for another five years. And then we thought that's that. And then Netflix just picked it up

and it's doing well for them. Wow. And then I got to do Bob Hearts, which was right after, which said a very sweet thing and times we're living in and I was proud of that. How long did that run?

Without being preached it? That one went five years. That went five years. But here's where I made my mistake, Tom. In 2013, they started saying, you know, you need to start this social media thing. It's going to be big. And at the time,

I'm sitting on a stage with a latte in my hand, reading my script. Chuck Lori's there, Jimmy Burroughs is there, Peter Roth who ran Warner Bros. I'm like, what? That shit's not going to catch on. Yeah. Not a good move. And then through the middle of Bob Hart's, I took three years off a stand-up to get healthy. Right.

So when I came back to decide I was going to do stand-up again, I was unrecognizable. I had no social media, and the TV business had gone to the Internet. So I'm basically starting a band over. I know. I really, I was thinking about this because there's, that real blessing that you got these 100 hit TV shows. All grateful, yes. So good. And I did hold my breath when you said the mistake I made. And I, I hope, I don't think it. You saved your money. Oh, yeah. I have, dude, you and I have, you and I have, you and I. I'm sorry, but if you said, Tom, I thought it was going to. No, you and I have the same super. power. We have a family. Right. And when you have a family, your odds are surviving all of this. Anything is much better because when you have something that's more important to go home to, you don't make those kind of mistakes. And my wife had a banking background when we got married.

Oh, nice. So she has been, she's the reason I can afford to go try to be a stand-up again. Right. Because she did all the smart stuff for us. Right. All right, good. So we can take that out of the equation. Yes, I'm good. Oh, few. There's nothing worse than, you. Like the beloved showbiz stories, they're like, what happened? No. All right, good. No, but the conundrum is you're on these shows. You're the face of the shows.

But you're playing these characters. They don't know you as a stand-up. Right. I was never able to bridge that gap. And that's for, what, 15 years? Yeah, I did stand-up. I started in 87. I got my break on television in 2010.

Right. It's 2025, and I will still get comments on my Instagram. Go to my Instagram, kids. I say that on this show because I respect what you do and I like your fans. You're the kind of people I want.

But I still get comments like, I didn't know he did stand up. And I was like, I was just one of those guys that never, for some reason, it never connected. So I'm just kind of out there doing my thing now, you know?

Wow. That's, I mean, because it really is, I mean, it's a blessing that you get the shows. 100. But I know you're a stand-up first and foremost. Of course. That's what drives us.

I thought I was done. Like, when I went to get healthy, I said, you've had two shows. Maybe it's time. And then I had some good friends pester me. Leno would bug me and Alonzo Bowden and Christopher Titus, Steve Byrne, just in Ian Bagg. Guys were like, what are you doing, dude? I'm like, I'm not back. I got a new hose.

I'm going to tie it. It just became a Midwest dad. And I was just trying to get healthy. And I thought, I'm at peace with it. And then I went down to the Irvine Improv with the wife and watched Ian. And boy, he was having one of those shows. Like, you know what you have those shows where you're so dialed in that you look at them and they start crack up? Like, you know those nights.

Like, there's good nights, but then there's those nights. And he was having one of those. And I swear to God, man, I got a twitch in my left shoulder. Yeah. And I looked at Patty and I go, I think I got to see what. And she's like, really? And I'm like, yeah. So I started just going to open mic night over at Flappers in Burbank.

and they were lovely with me. Just Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I'm trying to make no noise. Just see if I could still do it. Yeah. And it was funny, the hurdles I had to overcome because I used to be such a big, gregarious guy that that energy all shifted.

Right. So on stage it went from like driving a minivan to a coop. And I was like, well, this is a different. Because I went from the, get out of the way, I'm sorry, did I bump you? Right. So I had to adjust to that. And then I had the thing of,

you've been on television, you can't suck. You've got to show up. And then it would hit me. you're here on a Tuesday, and there's 12 people, relax. Right. And so I just took away all my credits. I said, don't say no credits. You just say Billy Gardell's next.

Right. And it kind of brought me back to that. Let me just go up and see if I can get a joke to work. And once I got punched in the face a few times and had a few quiet sets, I started to go, I remember this. And then it became fun to get in the lab again. Right. And now it's starting to pay off. Right.

And when is this journey? When does this start? That was two and a half, three years ago. Okay. So I took a year just beating around. open mics and just getting my feet back under me and trying to figure out what else I wanted to talk about. Yeah. And then I found it. And then I spent the next year really working on that. And then I just did a small theater tour. You know, it's amazing to me what some of these guys are

doing now. Like that wasn't even heard of when we started. It's amazing. So I was doing like six, eight hundred seat theaters. And I went from March till just the first week of June. And then, Unfortunately, I have a homework assignment because what I've found is I can't do social media every day or every week. It's just not in me. I'm too Gen X. I'm like, fuck all them.

What are we doing? So I'm just kind of through July and August stockpiling these videos I've been doing and stand-up clips. And then I'm going, and since I only post like one of each of those things, I do three a week. I do a stand-up clips, a show I was on clip, and then I do these things called a married moment.

Yeah. Because I'm one of the few guys left on earth that likes to be married. And so I want to drive that. And so I'm going to pile up a bunch of them over the summer and then just give them like enough to get through December. Right. So that I can just go be a comic, which is all I want to do. Do you have someone help you out with all that stuff? Yeah, oh, I had to hire kids.

I have no, I have no clue. Yeah, no, because I send them the video. Yeah, so much longer. I know nothing about it. I'm not going into the future. No, I decided. It doesn't want you. I wish all of you.

Well, I'm not going. And the way I figure I can't outrun technology, so my solution is. is I'm just not going to update any of my devices. I hope that I pull away backwards. Well, how crazy is it that, I mean, you hit your show at a time when hitting a show was everybody's goal? Sure. Now, like young comics, it's not even in the math.

No, they're like, I've got it, I have it all here. They do. I can communicate to the world. They do, but it's shifted. Like, it used to be TV and the math. movies, the internet. Now it's the internet TV and the movies. And in fact, if you want to do a TV or movie show, you have to go find the internet audience first and bring them in to make your deal. And I get it. I mean, this is what, look, it's like I always tell Will my son, you know,

he went to college for film school and he's, you know, he's freaked out about the business like the rest of us. And I told him, I said something somebody told me a long time ago. And it applies to everything. If there's a problem in front of you, if you bitch about it. it, you double the work. Right. So the game field is always going to change. Yeah. So your job is to go, how do I get through the defense?

How do I play this game? How do I do something? And right now, it's self-creation. So I said, you need to start a YouTube page or whatever platform you like and just start putting it out, man. Start putting out what you do. And the weird thing is for, and I think from our generation is the windows were so tiny. Yeah.

Like if you got a Tonight Show or if you got an HBO shot or if you got a, you had to be perfect. Whereas in the internet world, you can be kind of doing something under construction, and that might take off. Yeah. But that wasn't, and that was a mentality that a shift I had to get through too. Right. No, it doesn't have to be completely polished and perfect.

Yeah. And I think that was one of the harder things to kind of transition. No, I always say the people who are most successful on social media, they never pick up their phone and go, ah, no one wants to see this. No, they don't. We always think that. We're always like, it's the first thing I think, including me. I don't want to see it.

I may don't want to see this. You can't think that way. No, you have to just blast it. Put it out. That's right. Put it on. That's exactly right. Well, that's good to hear because our kids went to school together.

Which I love. Yeah, I love. She's so great. And she was so excited. And Will sends his best, by the way. Yeah. And she, Lena does too. And she's doing the same thing.

And now, is she done with school? Did she go away? She's done. She's done. Will just graduated too. So she's back now? No, she's in New York. Is she staying there to live there?

Yeah. Dude, is it not gut-wrenching? Mine's here, and my life has a series of bribes to get him to come by. Because he's got a girlfriend, and they're living together. They moved in together. Oh, wow. And now the only way I get access is if I have a tool in my hand or a hamburger or some money. That's how I get into the house, you know.

I know. It's, yeah, definitely. I mean, I have a joke in my act where I say, you know, you want the best for them. you want to go out and kill it. But now I'm starting to hope that they lack the skills to make it. That's good. Just for a little while. Just to come back for a couple of years to write the ship.

You know, he lives about 12 minutes from us. And it takes my wife and I every bit of strength we have, not for it to become everybody loves Raymond. Because we just want to go over all the time. Of course. We're respecting his privacy. But, man, to have him home. And he's right down the street.

And you're like, I still don't get to see you. fun. I know. And I roll through New York a lot. So, like, I just saw her last week. That's great. And, yeah, it's great. But she's doing the same thing.

Like, she has, her and her friends have a production company. Nice. And they did their first play. Great. And they're starting their things. That's it. And films and all that kind of stuff. And you just got to be, you just got to create it.

That's it, man. I tell them, look, the only thing that kills all the boogey men that are going to tell you you can't do it is action. So just do something. Can I repeat the story? Which one? of me seeing you right before you made it. It's my favorite. It's the best. I'm doing it for you, Johnny. It's my favorite. Your line was the best at the end. Yeah. Yeah, I hope I still nail it.

I'll remind you if you don't. So I was doing something. This was probably, you could put a year on it. But I'm guessing it was around 2009. Had to be. Yeah, or before. Because that was the only time someone was paying for me to sit up front. Well, you were in first class. Yeah, I was in first class. And I'm sitting. there it's early morning and we're flying out and it's it's we're waiting for a couple more people to get on the plane before we're going to take off and billy comes on late and i in my mind i feel like you're carrying your clothes i had lost a bag on the first flight so my luggage was now two brown bags yeah that's what you remember they were brown grocery bags yeah he has two grocery bags and they were Close that I had bought at Target that week to get through the week.

Yeah, it's one of those weeks. He comes on sweaty, aggravated, early, carrying his clothes in a peg. And I look up, and I'm not Mr. First Class, but I'm in First Class. And we see each other. Hold on. He was already newspaper out, orange juice, legs crossed. He was Mr. First Class. I was playing the role, for sure.

And then he comes on like a vagabond. I did. And you were like, I just got, trying to go do this. I'm trying to get to this club. Good to see. And you just walk by. I'm like, holy shit. What's going to happen at Bill?

That was, that's the line. The way he told me years later was he goes, I just said to myself, wonder what's going to happen to that guy. That's my favorite quote ever. Great comic. That's what it's going to say on my tombstone. I wonder what's going to happen to that guy. That's perfect.

It's perfect. Great comic, killer. and he's having a he's having a go yeah and literally next year yeah yeah but the year and a half later yeah but year and a half later on yeah but you got the offer for the show like a month later a month or two later he gets yeah mike and molly yep he's that close to like quitting right you were gonna move back to pittsburgh yeah i was gonna go back because my you know me and patty were fighting you know every marriage goes through its rain periods and we were in a dark one and you know and at I was just like, I hadn't booked anything.

And I was like, man, this is just, I think I'm done. Yeah. And then my buddy at DVE, Randy Baumann, was like, hey, man, come back here. I'll put you on the air. You can get your family together. You can have a nice life here in Pittsburgh. So I said, I'm in. I'm going to do that.

But I'm going to ride out one more pilot season. And he goes, okay, well, let me know how it goes. And I only got, that used to be a three-month period, as you know, where all the new productions would ramp up. They'd cast, shoot pilots, then pick what went to the air. I only got like, I think it's five or six auditions through the whole three months and the last audition was Mike and Molly. It was a Hail Mary into the end zone. Literally. Literally.

Literally. Yeah. And then just it all happened. Changed overnight. Amazing. Changed overnight. I love the story so much because I saw it in real time. Yeah, you did.

And as a comic, as a comic, you know, we've seen a lot of great comics and it just gets too difficult to navigate and whatever happens and it's like it doesn't happen. I always say, man, your talent and how hard you work on your talent, I believe, is how long your window will stay open when it happens. So if you've done the work and you offer something up that catches, that window is going to give you an opportunity to do something else and it kind of elongates your window. That's why when you see some guys that are, they have one thing, but they get it really quick, they kind of disappear because they don't have a next chapter. Right, right. But I do believe there's a tremendous amount of luck involved. for all of the things to fall, for all of the tumblers to fall at once,

there is a little bit of luck and ball. Because I always say there's a lot of guys more handsome than me, funnier than me, that didn't get it. And I always try to stay grateful that I was one of the lucky ones. But it was one of those things,

like once you got cast in it and you and Melissa like hit, it was just like, oh, this guy was made for TV. Like it was like, why would this ever be a struggle? No, thank you. That's kind. I owe her a lot too.

Melissa was great with me when we started. You know, it's always good to find them to laugh, but the more emotional scenes, because that show always had a tender moment. Yeah. That was the secret sauce. Jimmy Burroughs always said that to us. If we don't give them one moment where they see your humanity,

then all these jokes don't mean anything. That's what this show's built on. And so Melissa made it really safe in those scenes and really helped me and would extra rehearsal with me until we could get to that real connection. And it happened like that with her. And then I was surrounded by some real brilliant people. I mean, Lou Mastillo, Swizzy Kurtz, both Broadway people.

Yeah. You know, Rondi Reeder played my mom, Steppenwolf out of Chicago. Yeah. Katie Mixing came out of Carnegie Mellon. Reno Wilson, who's like my brother, he came out of the fame school in New York. And so I was surrounded by these incredibly talented and giving people. Like they were there to make you better. And then Jimmy Burroughs glued it all together for us.

And so this, and then of course, Chuck, when you got him spinning the words, I mean, it's kind of hard to screw that up. I know. And I think they all took to me because I just, they knew I was coming out of a comedy club kitchen and just had some chicken fingers. And we're going to show you how this works. Yeah, and shoot in front of a live audience. Well, that part, I think comics really adhere to because we have that natural. We have that musical ear for that. What you have to understand is if you're a comic and you get a lead in a show, you have to understand that you're never. ever going to be the funniest guy. Right. And that dooms a lot of comics because they don't want to not be that.

Right. But if you want to be the lead of the show, you have to understand your job. You're going to get a couple jokes, but your main job is to drive the story and react to all the nuts around you. Right, right. And if you can't put your ego to the side to do that, you can't be the lead. Yeah. And so Jimmy kind of gave me that information early and let me know, look, this is how this works. Right.

And it really, it helped me tremendously. God, the number of shows that he touched. That he's magic. And we lost just one of the greatest people in the world. And, you know, he was so grandfatherly with me and my wife. He really took to me, man. And I'm so grateful because we became friends. And like he would have dinner parties for the cast or whatever during the season.

And he would always invite my wife and I up like an hour early. Oh, yeah. Sit us in his office and say, you know, are you investing? Do you have a corporation? Do you have a lawyer? Do you do? Like he was so, he was just on our side. Oh, that's so great.

And I will never, and we ended up going to the horse track together once in a while and football games. But Jimmy is, he validated to me that you can be the best of the best and still be the kindest, coolest human. Yeah, you don't have to kill people to do it. Right. And he was proof of that every day, man. Every day, you walked into that stage.

He greeted you with a hug. He said, let's go find a funny, honey. And that's what he was about. I never heard the man complain. He wanted to know how you were doing. Right. And he was really magical that way. And, you know, I'll tell you a little trivia that I didn't know until later,

because you got to remember, he helped create cheers. His fingerprints are on taxi friends. He did the pilot for Big Bang, two and a half men. I mean, it's endless. It's crazy. Yeah. But he only stays between three and ten episodes. Like he kind of puts his stamp on a show and then he goes off to do something else.

Wow. And he stayed with Mike and Molly for two years because he was having so much fun with us. And I take that as a great compliment. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Our exclusive snack sponsor, IQ bars, are better for you, clean plant protein bars packed with fiber and brain boosting nutrients with zero sugar added. You no longer have to choose between healthy or delicious snacks. It's the truth. I really do love IQ Bar.

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great. My wife, who does not dig any kind of bars or mixes or what have you, loves IQ bars. She's constantly asking me to bother the IQ bar people for more of them. Mint chocolate chip, chocolate sea salt, banana nut, toasted coconut chip, lemon, blueberry, on and on. Right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ Bar products. Plus, get free shipping. To get your 20% off, text Papa, PAPA to 64,000. That's PAPA to 64,000. Text it, PAPA, 64,000. Message and data rates apply. See terms for details. I just got back from the road, three weeks on the road with my wife, which was nice. It didn't seem as long. But the thing it does make it seem long is that I've got Frank and Bella at home and Bowser the cat, who we never

really talk about. Frank is really the big celebrity because he's just so great for Instagram. He's the hug. And then we've got Bella, the Black Lab, who, you know, is kind of a guest star. And then Bowser, the cat, who's like an old veteran who really gets no time, uh, because they're just eaten up by the lead singer. I would put Bowser as like maybe the drummer. Uh, that makes our travels a little too, it was too long. I think maybe a week and a half. I mean, they get to stay with good people and people stay with them, but you realize, no, the pets are a huge part of our life, and especially now that our kids are grown and gone, they've even become more important. Today's episode is sponsored by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. If you ever found yourself awake at 2 a.m., phone in hand,

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slash papa. One more time, ASPCA pet insurance.com slash papa. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence, American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company, and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Thank you for sponsoring our program. Frank is happy. Can I tell you a funny little story that happened to me yesterday about how much television has changed? Yes, please.

My daughter is a senior in college. and she has a class, a very cool class it sounds about sitcoms, classic sitcoms. And I said to her last night, how's the class going? And she said, good, I just have to watch all these old shows. And I said, what do you have to watch? And she said, Cliff, I just watched this one cliff or something. I'm like, Cliff, what are you talking about? And she goes, oh, cheers.

Cheers. I watched Cheers. And I said, how was it? She goes, I can't believe that show was on for like nine years. I said, what do you mean? It's cheers. She said, do they ever leave the bar? I said, you know what? I don't think they do. She said it was just a bunch of people throwing one-liners at each other in a bar in one set for 25 minutes. minutes. And I was like, yeah, and it's the greatest show in the world. She goes, it's the most boring thing I've ever seen. Well, it's because nobody was getting run over by a mad cow. Nobody was getting peed on by a dog. You know, I mean, like, it's the world they watch. It has. It's, I mean, it's no, it's no shade to her or to us. No, it's just evolved. It's just changed. It has. And when she said, it's just a group of people sitting in bar throwing one-liners at each other. I was like, yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. It's like a play.

But the greatest one-liners in the history of television. And she also doesn't have that reference point. Right. Like this generation, they don't know what it's like to just have a local haunt, local watering hole. They don't, that's not their thing. Oh, that's a good point. Like, these kids go out at 7.30 by 10, their home hitting the bong playing Minecraft. There's not.

Yeah. Like, we were getting ready to go out at 10. That's right. You know, I can't go out. It's too early. It's too early. We can't go out. And now I'm like, it's 10 o'clock.

I can't do a set of time. Yeah. So why? Right? Yeah. But I love rooting them on. Oh, it's great. I talk a lot in my act about rooting this generation on because I think it's lazy, low-hanging fruit to rip on these kids.

There's no ripping, yeah. They're going on, they're dealing with so much more than we are. And then you look at with AI and the way the state of the world is, I mean, just getting their eyes up and putting some hope in there. Yeah. That's what the adults need to be doing. Right, right, right. My thing is, I just say the world's ending. I go, I'm sorry you got that.

I go, if you want to know how I know, I said, I was on TV for a long time and I can spot a season finale when I see one. And I said, but here's the deal. Don't let it rob you of the weekends that are left. Right. Keep that attitude, you know what I mean? Do you really think it's ending? I do. In what way?

I just don't see us as a collective putting the Commonwealth first. You're talking about our country or the globe? Mostly our country, but also. around the world quite a bit. I just, I try to have faith every day, but I, uh, I have trouble seeing humanity anymore. Like I have trouble seeing decency and kindness first. And I, I worry that that's the thing that's going to. And it's these billionaires and these phones that did it to us.

And, and the other, you know, my other old man rant is, who asked for AI? They snuck this in like it was a phone update. No one, nobody, nobody said, hey, I'd really, you know, I want a robot that'll clean my house. I don't want a robot that makes me obsolete. They never ask us. And then every time there's a conversation, always at the end, they say, and there's a 25% chance. It may end humanity. Yeah.

Should we hit the brakes? Yeah, that's a big thing. So you're either obsessing and worrying about that, which I get caught up in sometimes, or you're just in denial about it and you're going to ride it out. So, I mean, I was going to ask you. How are you dealing that with your kids? To play the optimistic devil's advocate. Please, give, I need. Give, please.

don't you think that when you watch your kids do find their way and they're so much more savvy with the way the world is now they are I give them that the way that we could figure out solving the problems isn't the way we're going to solve the problems the way they're going to be able to figure it out i agree with that i agree they're going to have to because they're dealing with components that we don't understand you know technology and stuff but but the the treatment of each other, I think our generation is the ones that still know that, still know to get a door for an old person, you know what I mean, still know to be, still know to be polite, you know what I mean? And I don't see, there's so much of this bravado culture that goes on, it's just like, that's not what being a man is, what are you doing? Yeah.

Because you can lift all the weights doesn't mean you should be doing the math. That's all I'm saying. And that doesn't mean, before you go, I work out. No, I'm smart. That's not what I'm saying. But if you look at it overall, you know, you've got to protect the people that are a little weaker than you that might be the thinkers. Right. And I don't feel like we have that system in place.

It feels like everything's been shuffled. And honestly, I don't think it's people. I've been all over the world. I find people are genuinely looking for the same thing. A roof to live under, a hand to hold, job to pay for it. That's not much to ask. And I feel like the ultra wealthy and the ultra-powerful have gotten so greedy and out of the way. of touch that they want to take even that from us. And these billionaires, they're like, they look to

me like, they're like the bond villains that didn't get cast. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, but what the sad part on the other side is no, there's nobody coming to help us. I don't know how you defend all this technology. I don't know how you. Well, that's what it is, though. It is the technology, because when you tour and you go all around the world, and you see people and they come to your show, none of that acrimony is out there. No. It's just pure joy and people being decent and feeling. People having an experience together.

Yeah, and then it's filtered through this. Yeah, and then it's all. And you think that the world is that. Yes. And some people do think the world is that and they act accordingly and they yell out and the road rage and all this other. Yeah. I've seen a lot of that for sure.

But I think it's the prism that is messing with it. It is. And they pulled off the greatest scam in the world because they tout technology as something that unites us when it has separated us all from each other. Now, I don't want to start a commune and live in a camp with people, but at some point as a group of humans, we have to go, hey, maybe let's just put everything aside and get health care under control. Let's put everything aside and make sure the working wage matches the cost of living. Simple. Like, if we could just start on some things as a team, I think we might have a shot, but I just... Do you think it'll swing back?

Like there's always times when things, like it's, I don't know. From the top down, it's gotten more coarse and disgusting. Well, everybody's right. Everybody's ugly. Everybody's mean. And I, and everything in this life, my dad used to say, everything's a habit. You know, he used to say, if he would say, like I said, say, if you meet a grumpy old prick, he didn't get that way overnight. That's what he practiced.

Right. So what are you practicing? Yeah. And I'm not sure. I'm not sure we have it in us to turn in. Usually we rally. America usually rallies. I'm just not sure.

I hope I pray for it every night. You know, I do my best. I try to be a decent guy. You know, I have faults too. I mean, I lose my shit once in a while, but most of the time, I try to maintain a pretty decent batting average. And I just hope and pray that at some point, we're going to look at each other as one collective because that's our only way forward.

Yeah. You know? It's a real difficult thing to get a grasp on. I was talking about the other night on stage that, you know, you wake up a lot of of the morning and you feel good. Yeah. And you're healthy. Yeah.

And you look on the other side of the bed and she's doing great too. Right. And your kids are good. Yeah. And your neighbors are good. And your town's pretty good. Yeah. And there's all these reasons to feel pretty good.

And then you open up your phone. Oh, there it is. And you find the poison and you go back to that feeling of, oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. Everything's shit. I had to, the only way I could get to the social media thing was to look at it like a savings account.

That's what helped me solve that. Like just put something in there. If it yields fruit at your show is great. Right. And that's it. Stay out of all the other. Yeah, don't go scrolling through all of the things. I can't. I can't.

There's some very inspiring things on there, though. I try to do that. I try to program my algorithm. Like if I see something positive, I'll follow that just so it keeps putting positive things out there. But you can't escape it. You know, you're scrolling, you're scrolling, you're scrolling. I know. You're like, do you have a water straw that will filter puddles when the end of the world?

God damn it. Can I just get a sandwich? That's all I'm looking for. There's, yeah, there's some, some that are really decent. There's that nun? Do you know that none? I've seen her. She's fantastic.

Do you know the nun? Yes. Like she goes at the end of her thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I love. Oh, damn it. Take a wild stab, Mary. Yeah, she's just so great. I love her so much.

I'm losing her name. Maybe I can put it in after. I know the one you're talking about that. I think I've fallen hurt. Yeah, like you find people like that. Yeah, those are the people that, that's who keeps my hope alive as people that are trying to put positive in the air, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's what you do as a comedian. I try. And you did a good thing when you took all the other comedians who were road dogs and put them on a special. That was my greatest, fondest thing to do, man, because I know those voices that inspired me when I was younger, Kenny Rogers and Uncle Lair and New York. and Ben Creed and Tim Wilson and these guys that those were the guys that we used to watch on the weekends. You'd come to the club just to watch the headline. And those were the guys that would wreck the room. And the hour, it was perfect.

The dismount was perfect. They were flawless up there. And so when I got to do road dogs, I was asked kindly by Showtime, do you want to do so? I said, well, can I do, I'd love to do an homage to Rodney's thing he did with the young comedians. Right. that's what I grew up watching, like, oh, man. And later getting to work with some of those guys was such a thrill. And then I thought, man, what a neat way.

So during those tapings, I would always wear the black suit with the red tie. Oh, nice. A little wink and a nod of the Rodney. Yeah. But I love the idea of that. And I've always found, man, it seems like when you help people, everything else in your life kind of works. Yeah, no kidding. It just works.

Yeah. For me, that's been the way. Yeah. Let's talk trains. Yeah, brother. How's the blue when I sent you? It's good. Yeah. I don't have it set up, though.

That's okay. That's more of a Christmas train. Yeah. That's more of a Christmas train. Yeah. Break it out of Christmas. And then I took, I stole cars from it and put it into mine. Nice. Into my thing. Mix and match. Yeah. Very good. Do you still have your trains? I have my, I have all my trains. I have taken my setup down piece by piece. You did. I did. And I, uh... How long do you have it up for? About four years, five years? Like a legit train guy. Like, no, I had like, I had, I had, I had, I think at one point seven trains going at one. time and they were all in one space yeah in one space and i had different we had built the platforms in sections so i could break it down and put it back up my friend uh glen shemada who was actually the

a camera guy on mike and molly and had been with jimmy for 20 years one day i'm talking to him at lunch about trains and um i'll tell you a cool story um i needed to fix something that was in my heart that hurt when i was very young my parents got divorced and my grandfather had bought me this Tyco train, the Silver Streak. And it was at H.O., which is the little ones. Oh, yeah. And we got a piece of plywood, and we put the round track down, and we put the fake, like the backyard patio turf thing over it, so it looked like grass. And we tacked down the track. And then we could just set it in the garage so we could put it down and put the train on it, and I could play with it whenever I wanted year round. That's when it started, right?

Nice. And I got to do it with my grandfather, and it was great. The guy my mom was married to was a real douchebag. And one day, I think I spilled, I don't know, I spilled some Kool-Aid on his favorite t-shirt or something. I know. This guy lost his mind, went into the garage, yanked me out into the garage, then took my track and put it up against the wall and then stepped on it and broke the wood. What? Yeah. How old were you? Nine.

Oh. So I just remembered that and held that resentment like a good Irishman for a long time. And then when I met Shemada, we started talking about trains, and he's actually like a Jedi model railroader. Like they have a club in San Diego where he lives. And I mean, these guys, there's like 30 trains running through, you know, background scenic things they've painted on the wall and every tree's been made. And so he's a craftsman at this.

Yeah. Like he built a small bonsai tree for the middle of my little park that had a small wire and a tire hanging from it. You know, I mean, I'm like detail. So he said, why don't I come over and let's kind of take some major? measurements and figure out what you want to do. So we do all that. And then my son gets involved, Will gets involved with doing it. So we're aging the cars and we're making it all look cool. And he has a train and Patty has a train and I have a train and each of the engines have their

initials on them. It's just magic. And so that kind of healed that part of me. And I told him when it was all completed the whole story about that Silver Street Tyco and what had happened. And I said, that's why I did this was to kind of fix that and then experience it with my son. And he was so loving and he was so sweet. He was like, he was like, thank you for let me be a part of that. And I said, no, Glenn, thank you. You helped me. It was like the best therapy I could have had about that.

And then about a year later, I get a package in the mail. And I open it up. And he had gone out. And now this train, the Silver Street train must have come out. I got to say, 78, 79. He somehow scoured eBay. He found the engine. engine and the caboose and he took the frame off it put a brand new engine new wheels underneath it

and now that sits on my office desk as that's completely yeah and and he's a dear friend to this day but he really walked me through this amazing thing that was very cathartic and then to give that to my son it was really cool yeah so you know look you spend your time fixing your holes what's the old saying uh you work on yourself everybody else gets better yeah you know and so that was that experience for me. What did, when you did your trains, were they the same little ones? Yeah, the big, the big setup I had, I have a loft upstairs. And so that whole floor was just trains. I mean, I was like a nine-year-old. I had a hat and everything. And then it got to the point where Will was, you know, finishing high school and stuff. And Patty was like, you know,

we need to be taking care of our health and stuff. We'd been starting to talk about that. She goes, how would you feel about turning that into that area into a gym? And I said, you know, I said that gave me exactly what I needed. And I have my bigger trains, like the one I sent you, the O gauge, which I love. I'm a big fan of that, but for space, the HOs are better. But the O gauge is, I still have three of those and I rotate them every Christmas because I'm a psychopath. But we took that down and so all the tracks and trains are in storage. Okay.

And now that's our workout area. I thought you had a different space, like in a warehouse or something. No, no. I had a hot rod space. that I used for a little while. Okay. I got rid of it. All the toys are gone.

Right. You know, so I just, I'm driving an electric car now. All my hot rods are gone. My trains are gone. Yeah. But I'm okay. Man, the train thing is so, what's the most special thing about it? Like when you're, when you're, when you're, not when you're first starting, but

yeah, you got it. It's getting in good shape. When they're rolling. You're still adding to it. What is the real joy? Well, I grew up in Pittsburgh and, uh, tell my parents got divorced and then moved us to Florida. My mom did, but I was an avid Mr. Rogers watcher, which probably had an effect on who I am today, him and my dad. And when the trolley came out on Mr. I was like, he has a magical trolley that he can

fucking talk to. I want a magical trolley. And so I just took it. Also, my grandfather worked for a railroad station in Pittsburgh called the Switch and Signal back in the day. And so I was around it a lot. And my Uncle Jim was an engineer with trains. And so I was always around, like, I got to go sit in the diesel cabs and see all these cool things. There's something to me, especially when the train goes around the tree, like I do the village and the whole thing. There's something so hypnotic and relaxing about watching that train make its circles and

the steam and the sound it makes. And I don't know, man, it just feels, it feels like a portal into imagination that doesn't, that's not going to get you. Right. And so that to me, it's just a very soothing, like I get, I could watch them for hours. Yeah. I really love it. I love the detail of the engines. I love the detail of the track, you know. Like, Shimada taught me how to do the track and then lay down the gravel rocks in between the tracks and then dust them so it looks like they're just in between, like those little details. And then once that's done, you know you built that. And then you're watching it roll around. And then when you're making them just miss each other or switch and it's just very hypnotic.

I like it because it's a patient thing. I've been telling Will this. I go, look, you have to swim in the world of the digital world, okay? But I want you to read two chapters a week in a book. And because you're a film student, you should be watching two to three movies without your phone on either of those things. Yeah, yeah. Because you have to work the muscle. And I noticed this started happening to me when I came to the phone.

Because like I said, I just jumped into the internet maybe two years ago. I only did emails and music. That's great. But when you scroll, you don't realize your attention span is just drifting away from you. And I noticed that when I start trying to watch movies again, I'm like, why can't I sit through this fucking movie? And so I practiced getting back into reading. Yeah. And that kind of brought that.

And I mean, holding a book. Yeah. And it brought that patience back. Yeah. And it calmed me down. And then I remembered that what I'm feeding myself, that's everything. You know, and so I, to get the patience back, And then that opened up, because I couldn't write when I came back either.

I'm like, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to write. But it was in the reading and the calm. Makes you better writer. You get those cold, you get those lone moments with yourself to actually think a thought through. And I actually started back with an exercise that somebody gave me when I was 19, that I still used today. When I can't write, I thought, all right, what do I want to write about? He said, take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle and put, I hate, and then on the other side, I love. And just write those things up.

That's fun. And then go back and pick one and see what you can tinker out of it. Some are going to work. Some aren't going to work. Some are going to be one line. Some are going to be four lines. But it was in that process. But I couldn't get to that patience until I just started practicing things that take patience.

So I was telling my son, look, you have to live. live in this digital age. But in order to create, you have to be, you have to have times when you're by yourself where you're just being reflective. Yeah. That's where your creativity. That's where it comes from. Yeah. But if you're not patient in that time, there's no way you're going to be able to create something that others will watch. So that's the advice I go. Some of it goes in, some of it doesn't. Reading such a, it's the one. It's such a key to being a good writer. It's everything. And they told me that earlier. Just read anything. Read anything because it lights up some weird part of your brain that you wouldn't be walking around in otherwise.

Yeah. So I did that for Will. I got him, you know, my lucky number is 29 because he was born on a 29th. Oh, yeah. Okay. So I went out and he has his own place now and I said, but before he left for college, I bought 29 books that I think had a big impact on my life. Oh, wow.

And so that's his set of books. And it's anything from, you know, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to the Count of Money, Christo. Right. It's got a Sherlock Holmes in there, the Lord of the Rings. Some Mark Twain on the road. Catch 22. Like the books that I read and went, whoa. Yeah. Catcher in the Rye. Yeah. So I bought them these books. And it's funny, this week, I'm going to go over and he has a little office in his place and I'm going to put a shelf out that has his books. Nice. And I said, I really hope you get into these one day. But he asked for them. He's like, pop, I want those books at my house. I want to start reading them. And I go, and I go, just know that

you don't, I'm not expecting you to read all those things. But these were the books that inspired me as a young man. So when I'm gone, they're always going to be with you. Oh, it's great. And there's 29 of them because that's my number. And so we're going to do that this week. We're going to put them up at his house. That's great. And let me just call you out, though. Please. It's back to what you're saying, how you got to show up with some tools for him to let you in the house. It's a bribe. It's a bribe. I agree with this completely, Senator. That's exactly right. I'll take any reason. What? You need some touch-up then? I'm on my way. You got to secure a bookshelf.

I got a latch. I'll be over. It's ridiculous. Yeah. My father does that when he comes over. Like, he's on the East Coast, but when he comes, it's like, they just want to be useful. Right. It's every dad's right.

But we also want to go and point out. You got to take care of those baseboards, Tom. Look at it. Look at it. Look at the scuffs. Because it was the, what I'm gleaning is the best time of your life. Yes. Doing that for 18, 19 years.

Yes. And now that chapter's over. You know, man, it's my wife's term. Uh-huh. And, you know, they say, now you have two. So you got to, you're, but you're right there. You're right where we were within the empty nest thing. That's a real thing.

Yeah. That's like when they, because, you know, as a parent, you focus is on the kids and it's fantastic. but then they leave and you have grown apart. My wife and I already already do everything opposite. We're always going to the same place, different routes. Like I go, you can explain my marriage by looking at my driveway. I park nose out, she parks nose in. That's just how this goes.

But what happens is as you're raising your kids, you grow apart because you're focused on that, but your personal growth kind of goes off. So we had a friend of ours say this, and it was very wise. and they had been through it and they said the best thing you can do when the kids leave the house is find new things together that you want to do. Because otherwise, you're just looking at your show like, what the fuck that we used to talk about? And it's much better to go, you want to try this?

Yeah, I would try that. Right. And you know what I've learned, man? Like, how long have you been married now, Tom? 26. Okay, I'm 25. So you're right there. I'm right there with you.

The idea that some person will hold my hand until I'm not here anymore. Right. I used to think I knew I had that, but now more than ever, I get that my wife has stood beside me, behind me, or in front of me, whatever I've needed my whole fucking ride with her. Right. I mean, we've lived through no money. We've lived through no money in a baby. We live through my drinking. we live through success.

And we live through that weird period in marriage. Like, you know, I always tell a young couple, I'm like, dude, if you're arguing in the first five, six years and you're going to third, cut, bait, and run. It's not getting any better. Yeah. You need at least 10 good years. Yeah.

Because you're going to need those memories. Because some weird thing happens in marriage between 10 and 15, 10 and 17. Everybody assumes everything's an attack or a criticism. Right. And it's just because you've been living on top of each other forever. Yeah. But when you get through that tunnel, and all of a sudden those little things,

you just accept them about each other and you just know that's the way each other is. Then the laughter comes back into the house and we're really in that sweet spot right now. And I love that. And my thought is other than doing stand-up, when I'm home, I just want to, I know it's going to sound sappy man,

but I just wanted to be happy. Yeah. Like I liked that. One thing my dad used to tell me too, is say, whatever you demand of a woman you will not get but whatever you give you will receive twice if you got a good woman yeah there's some vampires out there but just like there's some dirt back guys it's your job to find a good person yeah and um i just see how much she's given of herself

to our marriage and now i just really really want to repay that every day it's beautiful yeah we we're good and i like being the veteran couple that's been through their shit like we're cool now yeah right I'm sure you guys feel that, right? Yeah, completely. You see a young couple bickering about something? You're like, yeah, that's not the hill to die on, brother. Good luck to you. Yeah.

I think, yeah, I think we're really, yeah. Once you take yourself out of the equation. There it is. Is really. There it is. That's a solve. There it is, brother. There it is.

The petulant. What about me? Nobody wants that guy. Nobody wants them. What about me? No. That's the worst guy. You know what?

That's the worst guy. When you realize you're not important, then the thing is important and she's important, then it works. And then that stuff comes back to you. The other one, the best marriage advice I ever got was love your partner the way they want to be loved, not the way you want to be loved. That's where the disconnect is. Like I like, I need an add-a-boy.

Right. You give me an att-a-boy, I'm good for 90 days. Right. I'm good. I'll run through a wall for you. But if I don't get an att-a-boy, I get resentful, right? Right. So I was giving her all these.

But that's not her language. Her language is set the coffee on automatic. So when she comes down, it's made, makes her giddy like a kid. Right. She likes little mini jawbreakers. That's her favorite candy. She loves to read. She likes the house quiet once in a while.

So when I start acknowledging those things, all that stuff I wanted, the words, they come back in gratitude without me having to do anything. Yeah, yeah. Instead of going, well, you know, I say a lot of nice stuff to you. You don't say nothing to me, me. just pointless so pointless so stupid and has anyone ever won that argument i don't think so no have you ever yelled at your partner and had them go oh oh let me adjust so you're all right no again i go back to the same thing you work on yourself everybody else gets better yeah no that's great

how much are you going out are you touring i toured a lot for like i said from uh i was doing the clubs for a year up to this small theater tour that went pretty well. I did that from March until June, and then I'm going to go back out. You know, I've been so blessed, man. And I'm like a utility hitter on a baseball team. I can play clean, I can play dirty. Just wherever you be.

Whatever. Shortstop today? Okay, I got it. Yeah. And I've had a couple friends that have been really, really great. Like, Leon Morgan is going to take me out as a special guest for four of her dates in arenas and help me, you know, reintroduce. myself out there. Dice had a couple theater shows. He put together a really fun casino show with

me, him and John Lovitz. Oh, wow. That was really fun. So I've had folks from my generation go, hey, man, hop up up here. Let's remind people you're still doing this. Oh, that's great. And then the rest of the time, I'm just doing my thing. And, you know, I, the fact, I go back to the early days, and I think, you know, the fact that I get to do this still in the fourth quarter. Like, I just went to Montreal this weekend. Oh, yeah? Now, I haven't been to the Montreal Comedy Festival in, I think I went in 2006. Right. So I got there and most of those, I got shoes older than most of those comics.

But I'm always nice to those guys. I'm always rooting them on because I know what's going through their head. Like, does this going to matter? What if I don't look? So I get to be like Bull Durham in the back of the bus and go, listen, man, they can't take nothing from you. You've got nothing but a win or you leave here even. So stop worrying about that.

And they hear things. And you always remember the guys that kind of gave you those when you were coming through. Oh, yeah. And so I like playing that guy. I like being that dad again. It's a dad thing. And I had a great set because I wasn't thinking of myself. Yeah.

And how often are you going out? You mean like just to do sets? Yeah. I have ramped it up. I love, out here, I love the comedy and magic club. That's my favorite. Because it harkens back to how I came up. You know, the kind of comics that have done it.

It's really just a special place. Mike Lacey and Richard are just two of the most wonderful people running any club anyway. I tell young comics, this place will ruin you. Yeah. They're feeding you, they're giving you money for your set. It ain't always going to be, so be aware. Shows on time.

Yeah, exactly. And then I do, I just started dipping back into the improv. So I go, I'm trying to do two or three a week because I need to feed that stand-up clip thing. I'm still trying to get over that, that bit ain't ready yet. I don't want to put it out. I'm still working on that, but I'm doing it. And then how much on the road? On the road, I try to do, when I did my tour, I was doing three weeks a month.

And I think I'm going to cut that to two on, one off, two on. I think that's a good rhythm for me. Two on, one off. Like do two weekends, take a weekend off, then do two other weekends. Right. Because that way it's not, I just don't have the bones anymore. Everything hurts. Yeah.

You know, everything is sore now. I can't sleep on a plane anymore. I used to be able to sleep in any form of transportation. I fall asleep in my neck falls. That's how I'm walking for the next three days. So I got to take that into consideration. But what a great thing you're not getting on the plane and going to the back with two bags anymore. I don't have a bag of groceries with a guy who's sitting in first,

I wonder what's going to happen to that guy. So great. It's my favorite showbiz story. It's my favorite thing you said. I never forgot that line because it was perfect because I didn't know it that time. Yeah. I really did. I thought, oh, man.

And it all worked out. It did. Oh, so good. I hope you enjoy the bread. Buddy, thank you for this. I'm going to go home and take a nap on. man. All right, good. I appreciate you. Breaking bread. Shalubh, CNN, clean it up. Thank you. Thank you for that. I was here. I saw it. I don't think it's coming back. Good.

It can't be. Good. No one like... He didn't even like bread. This is breaking bread. This is breaking bread. That's what this is. We'll come back anytime. But Tom, thank you always for your graciousness. And, you know, I just respect you at the highest level on and off the field. And I do appreciate it. Yeah. You're the best. I catch, brother. Got it. I don't know.