Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 104 - Leanne Morgan

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Destiny brings Tom together with the beautiful and hilarious Leanne Morgan.  Two yummy comedians and one yummy bread.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey! Don't you know? Hey, it's how we go. Hey! It's time for breaking bread with. with Papa. Hey, don't you know?

Hey, it's also a show. Hey. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. I am at the table where I just had a great conversation with Leanne Morgan. So funny. You are going to love her. She is one of those people that just came.

Pure stand-up. gained this huge following of all of these great fans just from pure grinding it out and never giving up and is such a true authentic comedian. You are going to love her. I'm so happy she happened to be in L.A. and we got to have her come and join us at the table. And I gave her what possibly is one of the best spreads I've ever made. I would like to thank the good people at Trade coffee partners. Oh, trade coffee. Trade coffee partners with the country's best craft roasters to give the freshest and best tasting coffee. You take this little survey, you tell them what you like, and then they send you, trade coffee sends you different roasters coffee from around the country right to your

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I just hear coffee and I get excited. Go to drinktrade.com. That's drinktrade.com slash papa and take their quiz and find the coffee that you love. And I have to say, they send some coffee and it really kind of matches to what you want. And if you don't want it, they will adjust and send you and make sure I do the pour over. More about that later. Trade coffee. Thank you.

I also like to thank the good people at policy genius. PolicyGenius.com. life insurance gives you peace of mind and you can trust policy genius they don't add on extra fees or sell your info to third parties head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quote they basically do all of the research for you in the life insurance realm and then you go to this one place and they give you an analysis of all the different policies that you can have see how much you could save at policy genius.com. So happy this worked out. This is, I have been an admirer of Leann's for quite some time. She is so funny. She just has this great, like I said before,

like this very honest, truthful place from where her comedy comes from. She talks a lot about family. She's got a great, great voice. And we've been, you know, kind of going back and forth on social media and it just so happened that my free day where I can hustle over here to the studio, she happens to be in going and doing a thing on Kelly Clarkson and doing some stand-up around town and it just worked out perfectly. Also, worked out perfectly with my bread schedule where I had baked a bread for her and then I saw a window, a little opening and I was like, wouldn't this be better if I can actually bring a bread to her that is actually right out of the oven, because of course, then you get the smell and you get the, and I use this bread flour from

central milling where I get all my flour from, and I am so excited because there's another loaf at home waiting for me. I think what I gave her might be one of the best breads I've made. And I have to say, I know it's corny, but when you know that you want it to come out right, and you're making it for someone who you have on your mind this individual and you want to make sure that it's going, that they're going to love it, every little aspect of how you're doing it, everything that you have this when you make meals and you know that you want it to be right and you just have them on your mind. It's more magical than when you're just baking bread for nobody, just doing it just to do it. I mean, of course, you're going to accomplish things that way.

but when you have someone in mind, as I did with Leanne, it all just worked out. I think. It looks beautiful. We'll see when she gets to her hotel room. She says she loves bread and she doesn't seem like the kind of person that is going to be dishonest or even need a knife to get into this bread. I think she's going to be very, I think she's going to be happy in the hotel room. All right.

So we have this great conversation. You're going to love it. it's a big healthy portion of Leanne Morgan, so let's get right to it. Cheers, thank you for being here. I can't believe this worked out. I know, and I'm so tickled. Thank you for having me. What a dream.

This is so perfect. You're touring all over the place. You're doing gigantic things. How great that you just happened to roll through on literally the one day that I even had to come to meet at the studio. I know. I know. If you were Jewish, I would call it Kismet. Oh, is that what it is?

Yeah. What do you call a lucky happenstance in the South? It was meant to be. I mean, it's just meant to be. Well, I baked you bread. I was going to... Thank you. I'm a bread person.

You are? Oh, I am. Oh, that's good. And I'm a sourdough person. Oh, my God. Well, this is really special. Because I made one the day before. And it gets better each day.

Like after it bakes, it's got like two days of it. It's still like the flavor's kind of deepening. But then today with this bread flour, I made this one. And it was so perfect that I was like I decided to jump the other one that I was going to give you. And just feel it because it's warm because I just came out of the oven. What a beauty. See how much I love you? Oh my God.

Tom, thank you, honey. This may be one of the best things that's ever happened. Now, I was worried because I know you're on the road, but what are you doing your hotel room, not your own time? It's none of my business. I will get real down and dirty with this sourdough. Maybe you don't need enough. I could pinch it like when you take communion.

You know, my son. is 28 years old and he baked a lot of bread during the COVID. He did. Uh-huh. And he loves to cook and bake. Oh, nice. My baby child is 24 and she loves to bake. Oh, that's great.

Oh, they've got yeast packets and all that. You know, I've never baked bread. Really? And I'm from a, you know, my people are farming people and we, you know, kill her own meat. Right. And make sausage and hogs. Yeah, we have a thing called hog killing. Hog killing?

Yeah, hog killing. We don't, I didn't ever kill a hog. But we make the sausage out of it. My mom and dad had a meat processing plant. And that's how they put my sister in out of college. Wow. Where was this? In Adams, Tennessee outside of Nashville.

Right. On the Kentucky Tennessee border. Okay. Like 35 minutes from Nashville. Right. So it's very rural, but yet we had Nashville. So I would go to buy underwear and there would be the mandrel system. You know, so I saw country music people.

Right. Like you go to Sherman Williams and see Johnny Cash and June in a mint coat. No. With cans of paint. No. Yeah, because they were just, they were stars, but they were normal people that did their own painting, I guess. That's amazing. But anyway, my people, my mom is always cooked.

I've always cooked. I've been to raise three children. But I've never baked. Like, my mom can make biscuits. My little mother-in-law, Gail. Oh, her biscuits. It makes you fight. Yeah.

And then, but I've never, I think it takes a scientist. Are you like smart and science? I am not. See, there's, I thought the same thing, but bread is kind of a middle ground between cooking and baking the pastry scientific way. There's this, there's forgiveness in bread. You can be a little sloppier, you can be a little inaccurate. There's definitely more than in cooking where you just throw in hands. handfuls of whatever.

Yeah, yeah. But I am not. So let that serve as inspiration. Because if I could do it, most people can. And you don't use a bread machine. You're not one of those people. I might end this interview right now. Because that is.

That's like a people that don't know what they're doing. That's yeah. So you actually do this, let things rise. Let things rise. You've got a starter? Do you have a sourdough store? I have two sourdose starters. And so I came off the road and then started baking bread.

And then I knew from the time we booked, today is Wednesday. So on Monday, I got the starter going. And then last night mixed all of the flour and the water together and folded it and stuff before I went to bed. And then let it ferment overnight. and the flavor really starts to get in. So when I wake up in the morning, what was a little bit in the bucket is now coming over the top of the bucket

and then pour it out and size it up and shape it, put it in the fridge for a couple hours, and then baked it, and here we are. Oh, that looks like a bakery. You've got that crust on it, that good brown. Yeah, I'm trying to go a little darker with it lately. Yeah. Yeah, I think the flavors are deeper, right?

Oh, my, Tom. But do these people out in Los Angeles eat bread? Well, that's, you know what I found? Because you know what they don't have out here? I was raised in New Jersey, and all Italians, stuff all around us and all that thing. And a canoli. Have you ever had a canoli? Yes.

Okay, now the canoles in New York and New Jersey and Philadelphia are just, It's amazing. They're special. Out here, there's no good canoli. They taste like wanton and shells. No one has, I haven't found one place, and there's good Italian places, not one that has replicated it. And I said to my wife, that would be the key. If we could get the canoli place. And she's like, people out here aren't going to eat it. The people out here don't eat bread and canolies. But I think they're closet eaters. I think they do show up and they do eat. this stuff and then the rest then they hike all over the place yeah yeah and maybe count macros you know that's the new buzz word macros that you can you can get in a carb uh-huh but you got to watch everything else and and that takes signs too i don't like that there's apps for that my daughter's

dating a guy that he counts his macros so really i don't even know what those are i know but it makes your body change and people look um you know tiny in their pants right And I say that on the day that I had to, I had just filmed an hour. We were talking about, you know, having a new hour and everything is, what have you done for me lately now? Yeah. In comedy. But, and I had to watch myself on stage from the side. And I bought a really nice dress that is, I'm beautiful in it in person.

And on stage from the side, it was like, well, first of all, this, I've, I've, tied the bow up under my breasts and these breasts, Tom. I'm on this, okay. I had three babies and I nursed them. So I'm 56 years old. So when I quit nursing my last baby and she's 24, she was 18 months old. And so after you nurse three babies, I mean, it ruined my breasts. And I was still young and had life left in me.

And so back then, everybody was getting the Pamelae Anderson implants. Yeah. And I don't talk about this a lot because I don't talk about it on stage, even though now I'm an old woman. Now, when I was starting comedy in my late 30s, if I talked about my breast implants, I just felt like it was a distraction. Right. So now, I mean, I'm old and I'm not old, but I'm not out catting around. So nobody's going to be threatened by me. But these old implants have now expired.

I got these big Pamela Lee Anderson, horrible. So they can go bad? They can start to. Well, I mean, I think they can leak and do crazy mess. Mine are still in good shape and all that. And my husband's very tight with money and has said, nothing's wrong with those. You don't need to do a thing. They're fine.

But I'm like, there's a serial number on them. And there's an expiration day. Right. And I just think at this point in my life, I've had a good run, you know. Right. I've enjoyed them. We've all had a good time. It's time to get them out.

And I see that my picture, my video, and my fanny, my butt, I feel like it looks like, you know, those old women that work in the hospital and walk around, you can hear their thighs rubbing together in polyester. It's like you can put a cafeteria tray on my family. And then there's these huge watermelon breast. And I just think, who is that? That's not me. And so then I'll go on a thing where I'm like, I'm not going to eat any bread. Yeah, no one.

And I'm not going to, and I'm just going to eat spinach and chicken. And, but you know, I can't, Tom. I can't either. I just can't. I can't. Every day I wake up and I'm, I think, I feel fat and I think, should I just, I should, my, I have a 16 year old who's going through her vegan phase. And I'm like, maybe I should just do what she's doing and just go vegan. And then I go upstairs.

And as I'm thinking about it, I'm literally putting butter on a piece of toast and eating it. I'm like, well, I blew it again today. This is butter is not vegan. and I just can't do it. I can't. There's a limit to how much benefit we're going to get if we did everything right. If we did the macros, did the vegan, worked out, did all this stuff, how good is it going to be? You've got one life to live.

Yeah. You got, and you're funny. And so I know all of your life, you've been a joy. And so you probably find, you know, happiness and a lot of simple. things. I do too. I like when my kids come home, it's just like a big party and I want us to eat, but I'm from the country. I feed. I want to feed and I'm sure that's something like Italian people. Yes. It's very, it is very similar. It is. Now, are you the host when, like when you come, you're the one at the helm? I love to have, I love to have my kids come home and people over.

Right. And I like to cook and, and for everybody to have a good time and be together. I love all the What's your main thing that you cook? If you've got all the kids are home. They do love my chicken piccata. Uh-huh. And I'll tell you where I got that recipe because I didn't grow up fixing chicken peccata. Right.

That was from Trisha Yearwood's first cookbook after she started dating Garth Brooks. Ah. Which I don't know what all that was about. I don't know. I'm not going to judge, but, you know, something went on there. Anyway, she's got an unbelievable. cookbook and I think they've been very happy together. I shouldn't have said that but I don't know. You know, he was married to Sandy. Anyway, what do I know? I don't know, Blam. Okay, so she had a

cookbook that came out and it's one of the best cookbooks. And it is simple. Like, I'm very, I can't do a bunch of crazy masks that I've never heard of. Yeah. I like simple recipes, but I start making chicken peccata and they love it. And then I'm a big, because my people grew their own food and, you know, we had beef and killed our own cows. I mean, again, I did not kill a cow. But the little man that had four fingers killed him. Did you have to kill anything? No.

Never. Not even a chicken? No. My little grandmama would ring a chicken's neck in front of me and then pluck it and we'd eat it. And so I went through, when my little daddy opened up that meat processing plant, I went vegetarian from sixth grade. I didn't know what it was called. from sixth grade until I went to the University of Tennessee.

And then I just couldn't eat meat. Couldn't do it. Right. Yeah, I saw all that. And I had to work in it and I didn't like it. And then I went to UT and I kind of got away from it. And I started eating it again. And let me say that the Italian boys, I never met an Italian boy.

And so when I went to UT, I made out with a lot of people from New Jersey. Oh, really? I did. I was very entrancted to them. I really was. I could think of a couple of names. There's something about Italian boys. They got a little something going on.

They got a little something going on. They really do. Yeah. And Italian boys look at Southern ladies the same way. Do they? Yeah. Well, you know, we win Miss USA. Yep.

You know, there's a lot of pretty women in the South, and we do, you know, Tom, because I think about, all right, my husband went to school with a lot of smart people, went to a public high school and took AP courses. And my husband's very smart. and annual retentive and everything has to be perfect. And he, one of his best friends, married a girl that had graduated from Princeton. And she was from, where the pilgrims landed? Okay, that was Plymouth. Yeah. She was from up around there.

And we went to their wedding and all the groomsmen had on Searsucker suits, the Southern boys. And all those women from around there, no makeup on. No spray tans. We all came up from... A nice winge. We all came in there like a bunch of... I don't know what you need.

Big hats, lipstick, eyelashes on. And I realized, I go, we were very different from these girls up north. And then I remember the girls from Princeton talking about their thesis. And I had had my second baby, was pregnant with my third one. I didn't know it. And I was retaining fluid. And took a big... bag of

feminine protection because I thought oh I'm not going to have to have sex because I'm gonna it's about to start and then um

found out I was pregnant with my third baby a bear uh huh and it was just fall asleep in the car uh huh and thought I wonder why this is

anyway um they were all talking about thesis and I was thinking Barney you know I was listening

I was watching Barney and yeah and pop torts in a couch Smush. So you've got, see,

mine are grown. I've got a grandbaby, Tom. Yeah, I know. I was, I was wanted to ask you about that

because you, your stuff is so funny. And the, there's, there's, and people on, on YouTube, you've got huge numbers

off of Facebook and YouTube and just people, which is such a testament to how funny you are, because a lot of times, a platform will get a lot of eyes on something.

that maybe isn't that great. But stuff that's great, the eyeballs will find it. And that's what's happened to you. And it's great to see. Thank you. And it really resonates because you are a little ahead of me. And when you talk about how mean your kids, your daughter was and all that kind of stuff, and that's what I'm currently going through.

So I'm really looking forward to seeing what's up ahead. Because your babies are held. I've got 16 and 19, about to be 17 and 20. Girls, both girls. And your run on the mean teenager coming down the stairs and being so scared and how they're nice to everyone in the world and they get into your minivan. All that stuff is so accurate and so deadly, deadly true. And here's something, oh, this is what I want to share with you. So I'm on tour now and I'm telling these jokes about what I'm going through with my daughters through the pandemic.

And I literally talk about how my one daughter, and this all happened, how one daughter came in and said she could hear me breathing from the other room when she's trying to watch a movie. Yeah. And the other one said that she can, she doesn't like the way I chew my granola. It's exactly your life. It's exactly your bit. You have the same thing. I know. And that's true.

I know. I know it's true. I know it's true because every single other thing that you talk about with your daughter, I'm like, this is when people come up to us after, and we're very similarly talking about family and stuff, and they come up, I'm like, you must be in my living room. Are you married to my husband? Right, right. And I'm geeking out now in the same way because I'm like, you're living, I'm living your life.

And I bet people relate to, you know, what you're saying. And I think people want to relate to something. And when I first got starting comedy, I mean, This is 22 years that I've been doing it. And I know that people think, oh, this just happened for her. And she's like one of these YouTubers that just put out this stuff. But, I mean, this is a long time coming. Yeah.

And I remember people telling me years ago, oh, there's going to be, you know, people are going to buy tickets to shows that they've seen something on Facebook. And I'm like, what? That sounds like voodoo. And I fought that stuff for a long time, social media. And I was like, I don't need that. And, you know, things were just, I was, you know, in Knoxville, Tennessee. Yeah. Barely doing, you know, doing whatever I could get, you know, horrible gigs.

Yeah. And then going out on the road some in comedy clubs, but comedy clubs didn't book me as much. Because you've got to come up through those, you know. Yeah. And I wasn't in L.A. or New York. And my husband, you know, got a job and had health insurance. So we stayed in Knoxville. I begged him to come to L.A.

When they were little, I said, Chuck, please, let's move, and I'll cook on a hot plate. And I know I can make it. And he was like, what are you crazy? I mean, he's very practical, Brunson. Anyway, and I'm a dreamer. But you knew it. You had a feeling that.

I knew it. I just knew it. But anyway, here, it's better, you know, what this happened now. My children don't need me. They're grown. Right. And because I, you know, I was the one that took care of them because their daddy was always traveling with his job.

But yes, I started talking about birthing and being pregnant. that was a very prolific time for me. Then it went through elementary school and, you know, somebody do-doing on a t-ball field. And then that was a good time. And then middle school, they were like, do not speak my name. It's like Will Smith, you know, get your name out of mail. And then that was a very dry time. And then high school, they were like, we don't care what you do.

And they didn't, they were like, we're never going to see you again. What difference does it make? And now people say to me all the time, do they care what you talk about? And they go, no. And they're like, Mom, do whatever you want to. But that middle child, when that bit came out, and I talked about how hateful she was. Right. People were like, you shouldn't be making fun of a child that has misphonia,

which is like you can't take sound. And I'm like, she doesn't have misphonia. She was just a real bone. She's just mean. Just mean. But let me give you this hope. Okay. If you've got one going through that.

Yeah. They will grow out of that. Now, it takes a long time. Yeah. But they will come back around and they'll end up your very best friend. Yeah. And you tell your wife that. Okay.

She needs to hear it more than I do because she gets more of it. Yeah, a mama does. Yeah. Yeah. There's a different dynamic there. Yeah. And I see the, I see the sky's clear at some points. Like, I see it like, oh, there she is.

And then you think it's cool. and then see them at breakfast. Like that? Like that? Oh, no. Right. And, you know, I still can do that. My girls can still do me that way, but it's when they're hormonal.

And they don't mean to. And I just don't answer the phone when I know that they're going to be a butthole. But they are the ones that check on me. I've heard from both of them three times today. Right. And girls tend to you, Tom. Yeah. So my boy is precious.

and I'm in love with him, but he's got his own wife and baby. And so he calls me, but not like my girls. Girls tend to their mom and dad. And that's what his girl's doing with her people. Yeah, her people. He doesn't cling to her people, but I have to share with her people. But they're darling. But see, now I've got this grandbaby, and they're overwhelmed,

and they both work full time, and my daughter-in-law is in MBA school at night and on the weekends. Oh, boy. And so they need us. They're near you? They're 20 minutes, so I get that baby all the time. Oh, that's good. Oh, and just wait to you have.

And I know you're a long way away from that, Tom, but it is so wonderful. Really? And people would say that to me. They go, it's the best thing that will ever happen to you. And I would, and I received that. I felt like I received it. But you don't know until it gets here. Why?

Like, I would do, I got into Uber about a month ago with a man. And where was I? It's one of my shows on my tour, and he said, we were talking about having grandbabies, and he said, this sounds terrible. But if my grandson came to me and asked me to hide a body, I think I'd help him. And I go, I get it. There's something about a grandbaby. I just want him to have, like I'm always looking for water toys now, a wheelbarrel.

He's going to be 17 months old and he likes to mow. He likes to be out in the yard. And so I'm just thinking, what old book's about it? Mowing. Books about grass. Books about frogs. I mean, and he is just so yummy. And I don't want him to suffer. Like if I think I made a lot of mistakes probably raising children. And I'm not, and I think I did some good things. Because I've got three precious children. Yes. And they're very, they're very compassionate people and they're successful in life and all that. But I, and I don't think that I, I don't think I helicoptered them. Right. I really, I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. Yeah. Like if they, if something went wrong at school or whatever,

I didn't jump in and try to fix it. Right. Right. This baby, though, if I just can't, if he goes, oh, I'm like, what does he walk? I cannot take it. And I think that's being a grandmama and a granddaddy. My husband can't either. Oh, my husband's crazy about this baby.

Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. I was thinking this way, because I don't know it. I can play act it, that when my daughter was, she's going through that teen thing, and I was like, she's got, you know, she's doing her stuff and all. And I, and I was like, maybe she just needs more love. Maybe she just needs more attention. Get off her back. Just be there to be. And I was like, what if I raised my daughter like a granddaughter? What if I just treat her the way that a

grandparent would. Like just, but it, and I kind of move that way a little bit, but you have to ultimately discipline at some point. Oh, yeah. They can't just live with their grandparents. I know, because then everybody would be, right, yeah. Television in the room and. Yeah, exactly.

But there is something to be set, like that little guy, whatever his name is. Charles Wilbur. Charles, what a great name. Thank you. Ryan Hamilton said to me, strong name, land. I was like, thank you, Ryan. It's from two great granddaddies. Charles Wilbur. And we call him Charles Wilbur. That is such a great. Sometimes CW. Yeah. But my boy's an old soul, the one that bakes, Charlie. He's like an 80-year-old man, has a garden and loves all that kind of supply fishes. Was he always that way? Yeah. He was. He came out of my womb, an old soul, an 80-year-old man. And from the time he was three, there's the things he was interested in.

Yeah. And loves to read, loves to learn. But, yeah, like, my people grew dark-fired tobacco. Where I'm from in Tennessee, they're known for that. Right. That makes deep, skull and Copenhagen. What's it called? Dark-what?

Dark-fired tobacco. Dark-fired. It's a certain kind of tobacco. Right. So I smoked in the 80s time, and I'm so ashamed. You did? Yeah, I did. Did you look cool?

And I probably could have dated a lot of cuter man, you know, if I didn't smell by it. But I just, I waited tables and, you know. That's so funny. In my hour, I mean, I made terrible decisions in the 80s. I was a wreck. You were. I was. Yeah.

But anyway, we'll talk about that. Were you married in the 80s? I got married. And this is the first time I've ever talked about this. Right. Okay, Tom. No, no, you're not yet. Because you are, there's something about you.

I feel like we've been friends for. 100 years. I do too. You angel. Okay, I got married at 21 to a very charismatic, um, beautiful guy that was older than me. And I was lost and I was an idiot. And I was just and not in a good place. And I was at the University of Tennessee and I, and he taught me into dropping out. And I, and I didn't have any kind of direction. Because the time, when I was five, I wanted to be in show business. But being in the country and coming up through all that, I was like, how's that going to happen? You know, that's crazy. But it was always in my mind. Like, I'm going to, I love comedy and I wanted to do, but I just didn't know I would have never gone out to LA at 18. I could have never.

Right. So, um, so I was just lost and not, and didn't know what I was going to do and didn't have a really, a focus on a major or anything and hadn't done well in school. Right. And it was just right for somebody to come in. and he was, I say looking back, mentally ill. And at the time, you know, back then, we didn't know what you just think, oh, they're mean it as a snake. But anyway, got a divorce. I was divorced at 23.

Whoa. Which made me think of something like happy days. Like, you know, when a divorcee would come on happy days. That's what I felt like. At 23. At 23. Was he the bad guy, the bad boy kind of type? He was.

No, I wouldn't say that. He was a frat guy in college when he was older. He was already out. But he was beautiful. And he was, he just, he just wet me off my thing. And then it was abusive. And it was all these things that were terrible. And then, so I got out of it.

In two years. And about two and a half years. And then he went on to, I don't know if I should tell this, but brilliant. But he went on to launch Amazon.com. I know. Now, when I was with him, he was very up and down,

very emotional and up and down. I wonder if that now would be called bipolar. Right. But then he went back to school after we divorced and said, I saw him out somewhere, and he said, I'm getting a master's in what they call this thing called the internet or the inner web or something i remember thinking voodoo anyway he is not he was known he's no longer with us um he has passed away but he was known as the godfather of sceo link building

so if you're you know when when they're marketing internet marketing and they they do names like under your youtube channel like tom pop and sourdough and comedy and all these SEO that links you to So the other people see your videos or whatever. He was known. He like started that. Whoa. And had a beautiful family, beautiful wife and three little children. Jeez.

So he like got normal after? I don't think so. Not normal. But he made his. Yeah, he made a lot of money. Uh-huh. And but he took his own life. And so.

Yeah. So he, so I here I am. You know, this. girl from Adams, Tennessee, Mary, then feel like this huge failure. Right. Because I had to get out of it. I had to. That's great.

You did. And then went back to school, met my husband now, Chuck. Right. Had a bunch of kids by Chuck. All right, let me tell you that Chuck moved to the foothills of the Appalachia Mountains. Whoa. And was, because he is from Morristown, Tennessee, which is up in East Tennessee, but very affluent area with a country club.

Like my people, I didn't know that people played tennis and golf. I thought that was like something the queen did. We didn't have that around where I was from. So he had all that. Jeez. And was raised playing golf and doing all that. It was very smart in school. And he was getting an NBA.

We met. And then the whole time I'm thinking, I can't get in with you because I'm going to Hollywood. Uh-huh. Then we married. And he bought a used mobile home business. in Bean Station, Tennessee, that is in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. He never sat foot in a trailer. He had been to play golf with a little crusty man named, what was that little man's name, Fran?

And Frank, and Chuck's dad, and they were playing golf, and Fran said, I've had this business, and it's been very lucrative, but I'm going to retire and get out. And so Chuck bought it. And it never stepped in a mobile home. So we had this business, and we were young. young, like 26 and 27. Right. And I'm a little bit older than him.

And which I say that Tom, and I bet people that listen to your podcast go in the South. So she's already been married twice and she's only 27. We marry young. It's on brand. It's on brand. Yeah. We do. All my life it was like, find you a man. Put on a push-up bra and let's go, you know.

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Oh, I know I'm going to drink more coffee when I get home. So Chuck and I went on vacation out here to see my sister. She was working for a company in Huntington Beach. So we came out here to see her. I went to the comedy store. and Paul Mooney closed the show that night. Dom Herrera was on. I'm a huge fan of Don Marrera.

We all are. And I think I look at that lineup and I was so, I remember being so nervous and sitting watching them. And the whole time, I'm sure Chuck just sitting in joy, we didn't watch them. The whole time I sat and thought, okay, I need to be doing this. Okay, I can do it. I know I can do it. Like I felt that way the whole time. And, but yeah, I just didn't know, I just didn't know how or, and I thought,

am I crazy? Am I like the people on American Idol that think they can sing? Like I didn't. I thought, am I crazy? I don't need to, you know, so I was just fighting in my own head this whole time. And then, you know, I ended up, I finished my degree at the University of Tennessee. And, but I had my first baby and I want to stay home with him and nurse. and I always wanted to be a stay-home mom.

And I started selling jewelry like Tupperware. My friend in Nashville said there's this jewelry company and you can make extra money and you can meet people. So I started selling jewelry. I don't even care about jewelry. Right. And we all look like Mr. T. Like they'd say, go to the grocery store and wear all this jewelry. It was one of those multi-level marketing things.

You're walking around town with all this jewelry? I'm walking around a tiny town. Yeah, with a lot of chains on. and big earrings. But they were darling people. And I started selling jewelry to everybody in East Tennessee. And what it was is I kind of developed a schick. And I would talk about breastfeeding and hemorrhoids

and how I wanted to kill Chuck because he didn't hear the baby crying the night. And women thought I was funny. And so they started booking me like a year in advance. And I remember saying, it's either now, book a party with him now or see me in Las Vegas later. And I remember thinking, that was stupid. I don't know why I said they. Anyway, it was booking parties?

I was booking parties and they would book me and they were booking me way far out because women would say she's fun. You can have a party, put some dip out, buy a $20 pair earrings and she's pretty funny. So then one night somebody, I was doing my thing and somebody peed on a couch. And I saw her recently 20 something years later. And she works at my eye doctor. And she went, oh my gosh, Lynn. I went, Carmen. And I said, when you peed on that couch, Carmen, it was like a God thing.

Like, I knew it was like one of those moments where I thought, okay, I've got it. I could do this. Well, the company noticed and started asking me to speak at their big things. Whoa. And I was supposed to be talking about, I was supposed to have a speech prepared and talk about how I could get booked, but I didn't. I talked about breastfeeding and hemorrhoeing. And women would say, that was the first time I was in front of a big audience where they would say,

you need to be a stand-up. I mean, why aren't you doing a stand-up? And that, so then, you know, I just did stuff around Morristown, Tennessee, and just anything I could get. That's amazing. It was weird stuff. It was stuff like a little 80-year-old woman that went to my Methodist's church. She said, Lynn, would you come and do your little thing?

Everybody has always says to me, can you do your little thing? Can you put on a program? And the volunteers at the hospital, and we'll pay you with cafeteria. food and I was like yes and um so I did that kind of stuff for a long time and then my what's a long time um probably two years or something like that two or three years and then I went to I talked Brian Dorfman at Zanies in Nashville and let me open uh-huh and um I opened for Billy Gardale and and I don't I'm sure I sucked and I went back in his office and Brian said I think you got something. He said, but how are you going to do this with three babies? He said, you know,

Roseanne did it and raised him in a station wagon in a parking lot and it's not good. Yeah. So I just thought, okay, I'll have to figure it because I wanted to do clubs, but I thought I just had to figure out another way. Anyway, Chuck sold that business and went to work for a large company that sent us to San Antonio, Texas, so I had the river club. Did you ever worked the river club? No. You know, a club in a mall. Right. It's not always the best fun thing.

But it was a lot of the young people would come in that let me get up at night, late night, and everybody was home, marijuana. And I was talking about dude-divoles on a t-ball field. But I was different than everybody. You know, there's not a lot of young moms doing comedy, you know, really. Didn't you find, didn't you find that that was actually good? Like, because I talk a lot about family, and I was going through the same. stuff and you know you're talking about your life it's all autobiographical so you're going through

this stuff that they're not going through a younger audience isn't but i always felt like if this stuff still works in front of the laugh factory audience on friday at midnight yeah and they're identifying from whatever angle they're experiencing something about a family they're seeing their parents or their brothers or sisters yeah that if it worked there then it was good to good to to go. Yes. Right? Like it was a good test.

It really is when everybody's high and drunk on marijuana. Yeah. In the middle, in midnight. Right. Exactly. Because there's some people, comedians that touch on this stuff in a way that doesn't appeal to everybody. That it is, it's only for an older crowd.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And then you got young comics talking about, you know, getting high and watching porn and all that. And they've got their thing. Yeah.

But I know that one of my television deals, I've had about, you know, for sitcoms and stuff, they haven't made it. And, but they sent my reel back then, and they, I think, to Spike TV or something, and they said, it was young people, but they, but they liked you, Lynn, because they're, they were in the minivan with their sister when she, you know, hit, hit their mom in the back of the head with a backpack, you know, or came out and whatever. Yeah. It said, don't you have a piece of cheese in this car? So you're right. I think that when you talk about everybody's been through all the land. Right, exactly, exactly. They've been in some angle.

If you're just in a family, you know what's going on. Yeah. You know how this is how it's going to play out. Yeah. And I think people out here at first, producers and stuff were like, oh, she's a southern comedian. Like blue collar had boomed. And they were like, oh, well, she's a southern comic.

And then, but then I would do showcase. and stuff and they would say, you know, I mean, all kinds of women go through what you're, you talk about universal things. You just happen to have a thick accent. Right. But I don't talk about actually being from the self. Right. I talk about feeling fat in my pants, going to weight washers.

I'm in menopause. I have to prostitute myself to chug. You know, for my kids to have nice things, Tom. And it's just things that I think most, you know, women go through. Yeah. Right. And I'm so lucky that I even, I mean, I remember saying you were with Jerry Seinfeld in San Antonio at the Majestic, right? Years ago.

Or was I, I know I wasn't high on marijuana because I didn't do it. But I remember getting Chuck tickets for his birthday. Right. And I remember, oh, loving you. But I knew, I mean, I've always loved you. And then Jerry Seinfeld came out and I thought, oh, I can, if I could just, he can talk about. a cotton ball. Right.

And I thought, I've always admired that, but I just don't think that way. I've got to talk about something that happened. Right. Right. Exactly. I know. That is the thing. There's definitely people you admire and you see them and you're like, they're doing so well.

And it's like, wow, but I couldn't, I could write all of the edgy, whatever the hot topic is, race, transgender, whatever stuff. and going up on stage and the audience will be like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I know. You are what you are. I actually had this interesting conversation with Jimmy Carr over the weekend, and he had a great way to express it, that your being is your being. And when you're up on stage, they know exactly who you are before you even say anything.

And he described it as comedians leak. we leak all of our essence just pours out of us so before you even say anything they're like oh I know exactly who she is and what she's about so you just got to keep

true to that yeah yeah and see I think Brian Dorfman said this to me he said there's so many funny people but you got to be unique to stand out to get you know to blow up

or to whatever and to me see I could be in New York and a million people, and I could pick you out in a second. I mean, you're very unique. And I've always, you've always been, and I know they've told you that, but there's something about you. You just, you stand out. Yeah, it's just, I think it's authenticity. I think that's what it is.

Like, you're not faking it. When you're on stage, you're not pretending to be. And it's, it really, it just, you can feel it. That's the thing is. when you watch it's like you're not just hearing funny jokes you're actually feeling it and relating it to you to your life oh so when your daughter was mean back to my therapy session when your daughter was mean um the thing that surprises me is like you're like okay she's just going through that that's typical happens to everybody but it surprises me how she can

You're like expecting it. You're expecting a mood, whatever. And they can just do something that hurts your feelings. Oh. And it just, it's just reaction, right, out of you. There's no, I'm trying to be cool with it. And they do something, you're like, oh. It hurts so, worse than anything.

Turn on you on a dime. Right. And hurt with words. Yes. You know, horrible things. I know. I know. So when you were going through that,

what was your strategy? What would you, how would you just in the day to day? She says that it was very few times, because I'm pretty laid back. Their daddy's not. Right. He's type A, anal retentive, emotional, even though he's introverted. He reacts. Yeah.

And I'm more like, I'm laid back and I can. Yeah. I feel like I'm pretty good around kids. I got my grandchild. I feel like I'm, I'm, I've got a higher intellectual, I mean, what is it, emotional IQ? Right. My husband's very bright and smart in books and all that. But not at home.

Doesn't understand his feelings. And doesn't understand these children. And doesn't understand when little girls are, you know, going through middle school and high school. And imagine what kids are going through now. I can't imagine what yours are going through because mine are now, 24 and 26. So mine didn't even have an iPhone until probably 9th grade, 10th grade. Yeah.

And so they didn't have the Instagram and all this horror. So I don't know how y'all are dealing with that. But even mine at the time, everything's just so heightened. And so they're just so freaked out that I feel like I'm a calm down. And I don't let things escalate. Right. Now, everyone, so I think I'm a calming and I just be like, okay. and let things roll off my back.

Right, right. And learn how to fight what battles to fight. Right. Don't take everything they serve up. They don't even know what they're saying. They just want a reaction. Yeah. You can't swat everything.

And their emotions and their hormones are like this. All right. So I had a podcast called Sweety and Piss, Menopause and Mower, with my nurse practitioner who is brilliant hormone guru. And she said on an episode that middle school and high school girls, hormones are like this. And it's very similar to. a woman going through perimenopause.

So when you're, if your wife is in her 40s and early 50s, she's going through perimenopause and then you got a teenage girl, that's why things get so volatile because everybody's just a wreck. That's why I'm on the road. Oh, huh. In a hotel room watching HBO Max, the winning time with the Lakers. And that's probably why they will butt heads, even though they love each other and they're trying to do it. But there's, they're both, that's not synced up. Right.

And I bet you that your daughters love her so much more than life. Right. But they, but that also gives them the, they feel like, oh, mom's a safe place. I can go nuts so on her. She's going to love me no matter one. Right. So they would throw all this on me. That's why I said they're sweet to everybody in public.

And then they hold it in and then they come and spew it out on the moon. Right. But I feel like I diffused things when their daddy would go, you'll never watch television again and throw, you know, and you're like, that's not realistic, Chuck. Or I'll take your phone and you'll never have a phone again. And I'm like, you can't fall through with that. They've got to have a phone. You'll never drive again. Yeah, they will.

So he was always, he would go from A to D, like, you know, 100% and everybody would be crying and squalling. slam the door and I feel like I diffused. I think you just need to let them get through this and let them find your battles to fight. Now if you find somebody smoking dope or dating somebody that ought to be in prison,

you know you need to take care of business. Right. Time to step in. It's time to step in. And don't let them do whatever they want to do because you know, they're still children and they need boundaries. I don't understand. I've never understood parents going like

giving kids alcohol under age or you know like I want to be the cool people so let's provide all that I've never done that I don't believe in that no they need a line they need to know that there's a boundary somewhere and you have to be the one that sets it yeah and there's right and wrong yeah so when they're out with their yeah so when they're out with their friends at a bar far away from you when they're deciding what to do there's a little voice in the back of their head that's saying mom would not think this was cool. Yeah. It's like the same feeling when you hear an ambulance go by. Right. Yeah, exactly. And they've got that internal thing. Yes, my darling. Yeah. But let me ask you this. Are you going through that horrible ACT prep? Or are they not making

little children and take those terrible exams to get into college anymore? Yeah. My one went through it and did all of it. This one doesn't have to do it. Praise God. Yeah. It's so good. And she has different. ideas of what she wants to do. So it makes sense. And then the pandemic lined up and knocked all those tests out. So she's really kind of in this good place where she would do horrible on those tests. She's not that kind of a kid. She's not like, you know, some kids can take those things. So I'm really relieved that she doesn't have to go through just being beaten up by those things. You went through it? Yes, with all three of them. And one, my middle one's a really good test taker. Right.

My boy and my youngest are not, but made wonderful grades and, you know, and are smart and got ingenuity and all that. But they had to go by what those test scores were. Tough. And I'd hire people. One of my best friends does that for people. She sets up in her band and takes ACT test and watches Real Housewives on Bravo. And so she, people hire her. and she's not.

And I'll say, Emily, do not say cuss words in front of my children. And she, I mean, she just lets them rip. And she likes to get into their personal business and who's dating who. But anyway, she taught my kids. And she said, oh, and, and, it's like, it's not a scam. But she said, there's ways to take this thing. Like, if you weren't out of time, just put C. And she told them all these, you know, street smarts kind of things.

But yeah, but they all, you know, had to have it to. going to school. I'm so thankful that they don't have to have it anymore because that's stupid. Yeah. I don't think you can measure someone's success by a test they took when they were 16, 17, in a room full of other people that they find attractive. You know, there's a lot of fun. Right. There's a lot going on.

And also, I think being comedians, I think we look at life in a different way, like what their path is going to be, because we're friends with so many people that they're all oddball. half of them are ADHD. The other half are alcoholics. And they all found their way. They all kind of felt like water, just kind of find a way and become grownups. So it's not like it has to be in this set path.

Yeah, I never thought, oh, you've got to be an accountant. I've got friends that said, oh, you're going to be an accountant. Right, exactly. And these kids are miserable because that's not what they wanted today. But I'm a dreamer. Right. And I believe in dreaming and doing whatever. I feel like God gives people gifts.

Yeah. And that's what you need to go with and what you enjoy doing. You got one life to live, you know? Yeah, exactly. And if you want to dig ditches, I don't care. I'll help you get a shovel. Right. But I believe in being happy and finding joy and doing things you enjoy doing.

Right. Exactly. And, of course, I've had a husband who had health insurance. I say all that. And he, you know, floated me while I discovered, you know, what I was. could do in my dream. How was he during as like, was he? Like, whatever you want to do. Always. Uh-huh. Always. Yeah. And I don't, I think it, you know, he's very quiet. He doesn't like attention brought on him. He's very private. So I think there have been times where he's like, you know,

coochie land. I got to deal with all that. But he's always been like, whatever you want to do. That's great. And then when this was happening, yeah. I don't think he understood what was happening. And I tried to tell him. And my baby child. had left a college in Birmingham, Alabama, and decided that she wanted to go to school for makeup for television and film. So we were moving her in in Brooklyn. And I had hired these young guys to do my social media. I never put money into my career, ever. Like, I had two headshots that are, you know, I mean, I looked like flock of singles. And if I got any extra money and again, I would buy school uniforms or get the kids' haircuts or whatever.

That was kind of our deal. Right. My husband, that would be our play money. So I never, I never, I was not a good business person and I never invested back into myself. But I thought I'm either going to quit and go to work at Target or I'm going to, because I knew Charlie was going to have a baby and I thought I want to be with that baby. Or I'm going to, for three to six months, I'm just going to put the money into the social media boys, these young kids, and see if they can help me.

And I was moving my baby into her apartment in Brooklyn. And I noticed they put out the video about me talking about taking Chuck to see Def Leopard and Journey and how everybody looked old and had planter fasciitis in their feet. And that started going viral. And I said, y'all, I think something's happening. Like I could physically feel it. And everybody's like, shut up. The Uber's here.

and we got to get these suitcases. You know, everybody was fighting intense, trying to get in through New York, and we didn't know what we're like a bunch of hillbillies. And so it took him. I think he finally gets it now. Now. Like, oh, Leon's on a tour. She's making some money.

Yeah, there's a play money. People like her. Yeah, people like her, that kooky thing. It's taking him a while to catch up and all of it. Yeah. That's great, though. But I was going, Chuck. Like, this is from heaven.

Like, you don't understand. It's really happening. And even though I lived in Knoxville, I've always watched people like you. I've always wanted to be a cool kid at the cafeteria table. And to me, that was Comedy Store and Laugh Factory and all that. And in New York, the Comedy Cellar. So I always kept up with what was happening. It felt like I had my finger on the pulse.

Even though I was a mom in Knoxville, Tennessee, you know, going to big sporting goods buying equipment for this one to play. But I always felt like I had my finger on things. Yeah. I don't know what I was about to say. I don't know. But. It's amazing that Chuck was, it's almost, it's a blessing that he was kind of almost not absent with it.

But that it didn't, he wasn't pushing it in either way. No. Telling you to stop or telling you to go harder. Just kind of being there. That's like the, it's a very unique partner to have. because he could have destroyed it either way. I know. Or made it more difficult.

Uh-huh. Or said, you know, maybe you ought to get a real job. Yeah. I mean, because in Knoxville, we had a comedy club. Right. We haven't had one in years, but it was side splitters. Uh-huh. It was also down in Florida, Bobby Jewell.

And before that, it was Huff, all those guys from North Carolina. But anyway. Does he think you're funny? I don't think he does. Interesting. I think I say that. Uh-huh. I think there's some things that make him, I'll see his teeth every once in a while.

Because he's very stoic and I think he thought that was funny. He doesn't laugh a lot in general. He doesn't laugh a lot in general. And he's got a good sense of humor and he'll come out with a zinger. It's not often. But when he does, the kids and I hold on to it. I remember when Dan's saying, but he's a mighty python kind of guy. And I'm a, I'm a Saturday Night Live, Will Ferrell kind of person.

So our sense of humorers are different. Right. But he knows that people must love me. But, yeah, like I don't let him come to shows very rarely because I feel that. And I tell you what it is. I think I let him come to some in the early. And he would see, he's very detailed in type A. And so I would be spinning a yarn.

talking and doing and he would say it was not a Tuesday it was a Wednesday and it was at four it wasn't at three and I'm like shut up you're ruining my arm it doesn't mean anything it doesn't mean anything it's a horrible detail so I so I was very sensitive and it's just better I'm like here sell some t-shirt but he very rarely goes with me I just did the win in Las Vegas oh that's where I'm going on Friday oh I wish I could go with you oh it's the best oh my gosh so wonderful it's so nice and he loves to gamble. He likes to play a little black jacket. So he's still got a big job and he's got a lot on him. But if there's somewhere fun that I know he can play golf or do something, so he came to the win with me. And he, you know, they put you in that sweet. You're out there looking at all that.

And he's so nice. He filmed it and said, if you're worried about your mom, don't be. She's fine. But I normally don't get to stay in stuff like that. You know, it's so funny that when you look down at the at everyone at the pool when you hear that beat like you're in the 30th floor or something and you can literally hear the music the music's too loud for me inside the thing i can't even imagine and you look down and it's just like bacteria it's just people are bacteria filling in lower knows what you know all jammed into a pool little women with pot and belly stomachs doing god knows what you know my baby played travel volleyball over the united states States, my girl's dead.

You're talking about a scam. It's true. Yeah. Any sports. Travel sports. Travel sports. Terrible. Terrible.

Terrible. If anybody out here needs to make a living. Yeah. Get some socks from Nike or something. Set them up in a convention center where people are playing sports. Yeah. And they'll buy them and you'll make a million dollars. But we were out going and doing and she was in the nationals.

We went to the in Reno, Nevada. Oh, God. Now think about who would have a child's anything in Reno Nevada. And we stayed in a hotel that gambling and people were, like at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, like all the kids had goggles on and were swimming. And then at 3 o'clock, like this music started pumping. And they took this big thing out and all these women were, you know, twerking. And my kid, you know, we're trying to swim and a cigarette button go.

And then somebody was making out in the jacuzzi. And my baby is the one that would stare at all that. Love wanted to see middle-aged women drunk, making out with somebody. Like she was like, is that slot machines I'm here? I mean, she loved all that. My middle child would have been like, Mommy, I'm scared. The baby was like, oh my gosh, let me watch them make out. You know, she was twill.

It was my future. Uh-huh. But, but yeah, that was pretty nifty getting to go to the win. Yeah. And that gave me some kind of street cred. I tell you what's giving me street cred is I did an arena with Nate Bargazzi. Right. And then, and everybody was like, what?

You're doing something with Nate. And I'm known Nate. for years and he's darling. And then when I said, I'm going to Las Vegas, they were like, where? And I go to the wind. They're like, what? Because years ago, I was on a tour with, I mean, like 20 years ago with the Southern Front Chicks.

And we were kind of the, we thought we were the answer to the female version of blue collar. And our little man, that little crusty man that booked us was one of those old school, didn't take no for an answer. and put us in every nook and cranny in North America. It's all this to it. And just worked all night and I think people go, yeah, we'll take them just so we'd hang up.

And he put us somewhere off the strip in Las Vegas. And I can't remember what's called, but I remember it had a daycare. And I remember that it was rough. And I thought, who I'm in Vegas, but it's very different than now being at the wind. Yeah, I've done those two.

You're kind of like off the beat and yeah, and it's like where all the locals like to go gamble because the odds are good in the middle of the afternoon. Yeah. And you're like, I'm in Vegas. Kind of. Well, and he put us in Laughlin before we got there. Have you ever been to Longfoot? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

This is like penny slots. Loughlin was, that was rough. I think that is the roughest. That's rough. I did a club there with the, do you remember? I remember John Joseph. Do you know John Joseph? No, no, I don't. He was a good comedian.

He's still banging around. He's great act, great guy. And he and I were opening, we were the opening weekend in Laughlin at like the Hilton of their new showroom thing. And it was so, it was 200 degrees. You couldn't go outside. You literally could not go outside. And then the people that were there, just people that make bad decisions in life.

Like, why are you coming to this place? And it was so the shows where we did like a weekend of shows. They were so bad after the first night that the next night I brought a yo-yo up on stage with me. And after a couple jokes, just nothing. No, I didn't even know where they were. I just like, you know what, I'm not going to put myself through this. So I'm going to do something that you will understand. And I just started playing yo-yo to get through the set.

Oh, my Lord. I just did 10 minutes of yo-yo and then said good night. Did they like it? I have no idea. They were half dead. They were on oxygen, oxygen and carts. That's exactly who was there with mine. We walked in and Brenda, who, at a May,

I don't know if you've ever heard of Eta Mae. Yeah. She was in our trio. She plays a character like Larry the Cabag guy. And she said, is this just as serious? She said, is this an ampute convention? And it was people that had lost limbs. And it was in a lot of oxygen and wheelchairs.

And they rolled a woman up to the front of the stage. And I opened. I was the first one. Yeah. And she had on a Lisa T-shirt from Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Lisa Simpson T-shirt. and she was humped over and sounded asleep the whole time. And I remember being in and thinking, I'm going to quit. This is my last gig.

I'm okay. I can go to work at Target. And there was a TV in the green room, and Carrie Underwood was up against Beau, whatever that little thing's name was, an American Idol. And that's how long ago it was. And I remember they kept me from losing it. I just watched American Idol while the other two went out on stage. And a little old man came up to us.

we still see those. And he came up to the table and said, you two were great, her not so much, talking about me. And I thought, well, don't worry about it,

Mr. Because I'm not coming back and I'm not doing it. And I remember the next week was going to be thunder from down under. And it was that, oh, yeah.

It was that Australian bunch that take their clothes off. And I just thought, my life is over. Yeah, what am I doing? What am I doing? Those places really make you question

every decision you made in your life. Like, if this is, it. I'm not, this isn't going to work. I know. But that is why Loughlin is pretty close to visiting hell.

You're supposed to see that. You're supposed to see that and understand that that, there are traps that you can fall into. And you could end up doing a bunch of those around the country. If you make the wrong decisions. I know. And most casinos do you find our darling? Great.

And they treat you like Elvis. It feels like show business. That backstage at the wind, oh, I just like sitting on the couch. I don't even have to do the show. Just let me sit here and feel like this is what show business is supposed to be. There's fruit and crudette and you just, oh, it's a dream. And somebody escorts you down. They've got a gawk in their pocket, you know.

Taking you through the kitchen. Have you ever done Tulsa River Spirit in Tulsa, Oklahoma? you've got to. And the sheriff, that used to be the sheriff in that town. Yeah. Now has a farm

and does this on the side. And he carries, he's got a walker dog, and he carries a gun. And he walked me, don't not leave your room and walk me down. And little Karen Mills

was owning him for me. And we've been traveling together since 2004. And we were going, what the heck? And they walked us through these, you know, like Jim Gaffigan's on the wall,

earth, went in fire, Fleetwood Mac. You're like, what in the world? And he goes, just let me know if your family wants to come by here. And if you got a couple of nights, you need somewhere to stay in between places, Sammy Hagar hangs out at the pool all the time.

And I'm like, what? That's the best. And Chris Rock was coming, Gabriel Iglesias. And I was like, oh, my Lord, I should be mopping. Y'all should let me vacuum. What am I doing here? That's the funniest thing. They don't even have to be that nice to you.

Like, they just have to be kind of respectful. Because you have been abused so long in show business doing all of these gigs that aren't even gigs. That you're just, and there's no food and there's no money and there's no hotel. And you've just been abused for so long. There's a dirty band-aid in the back of the green room. And then someone's like, welcome. And you're like, oh. Did you feel that because I'm glad you said that.

Because we all have, right? I almost feel guilty now. Like at the wind, I felt like I need to dust or there's something. I don't even know, you know, when I went up to the dance, I don't know if I'm supposed to be here. I know. I do this thing and it's purely PTSD from all of those. And just being respectful because you know how hard everyone else is working around you. Whoever is the housekeeper in whatever hotel I'm in, they are, they must, I picture them walking in and like, what angel was in here?

Because I clean everything all the time. Howells are in a pile. All the garbage has been thrown out. I just, because I feel like I'm not doing anything better than what you're, we're all just dealing with a Wednesday. We're all dealing with a day. Right. And if I can make your day a little bit easier, that's great.

And hopefully it'll come back when I get to go to the next spot. But yeah, I am. I can tell you've got a sweet spirit. And I do. Or guilt-ridden spirit. but you're right and I feel all the time like what in the world

am I doing here and thank good I mean somebody wants to listen to me Babelone I'm so thankful so thankful but I also feel kind of like an imposter

and that I should be cleaning or I mean that I should be doing when I go out and these audiences are so wonderful and I think I should vacuum out their car like I should go home with them. Right. I could make them a meal. I feel that way. Yeah. And I, and I'm just so thankful to

me. No, it's the best. And then I've had other people that like my concert promoters and they're like, oh, we've had comedians that go, this should have happened to me a long time ago and, you know, F y'all for not getting to making it happen. And I'm like, what? Right. And I've done this 22 years, but it has been up and down and there's times I could not get arrested. Right. And then there were other times where it would be like, you've got a Hollywood deal. And I was naive and thought, oh, I really am going to be on TV. Right. This will be easy. Yeah. And it never worked out, you know. Yeah. Well, that's the great thing about this now is that you don't need that, really. And you have all these fans now and millions of people watching you and showing up at the shows without doing a TV show.

That's new and great. We're pretty blessed that we have that. timing now that you just kind of do it on your own. I know. Right? Because, you know, everybody says to me, who's watching network television? You know, growing up, that's what my idea of success was, was to have my own sitcom because I love Roseanne and Ray Romano and Bill Cosby and all those shows, you know, and that's what I thought. That was what I wanted. And now I think, I couldn't, I don't have the strings to do that. They see, it's like 14 hours a day. I'd have to get IVs. Then stop touring. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. Even though touring and it is wonderful, but it's hard. I think at my age, like, you know, I'm, I go, I still fly everywhere and, you know, maybe, I don't know,

someday I may have to get a bus. Right. So that I'm sleeping the night. You know, like I'm on a cruise ship. I just don't want, I just don't want to do the driving in between the gigs. Like the, the, when you get the, like, I love going everywhere. And then sometimes you're like, hey, there's a gig in Red Wing, Minnesota. And it's sold out. And they're very happy you're coming. You're like, yeah, but I got to drive two hours through the woods from the airport to get there. I don't know if I want to do that. I bet you've done everything, haven't you? You've been everywhere and done everything. Yeah, a lot, a lot. I was calling, before the pandemic, I was calling it the, what are you doing here tour? because every time I'd get off stage at some performing art center, they'd be like,

what are you doing here? Well, you're here. I should have been asking you that question. Okay, so Tom, you got, you started doing this. How old were you when you started this? I was in my late 20s, like mid, mid-20s. Did you go to New York from New Jersey to do it? Yeah.

I started. New York was my first place. Yeah. Because I went to school in New Jersey, grew up in New Jersey, went to school in New Jersey, and then came up and lived right outside of New York. And June 12, 1993 was my first spot at the New York Comedy Club. I've been to the New York Comedy Club. Yeah, this was the old one where this was, the original one was on top of a country western bar.

And it was, and I got the, I called the Village Voice. I called the number and went and did my first open mic at like it was still light out. It was probably six in the afternoon and went upstairs from the country Western bar and there was the little club and I went in there and did it and it was me and Greg Giroldo were the only two comedians on the on the bill. Oh my gosh. I loved him. Oh, he was, yeah.

So I must have gone to the newer one. That was a brick. Yeah. That was, I think. Yeah, I think that was the second location. But see, I've never gotten to do a lot of that stuff. I've done some of it, but I haven't done a lot of it. Yeah.

And I've always wanted to. And see, I always think, oh, Jim Gaffigan and you all being in New York and doing all that. That was the biggest advantage where there were all these clubs. And you could just be around great people. So you got an idea of where you stacked up and what to do and what not to do and what made people really good. And that New York was great for that, for sure. But, you know, people like yourself that didn't come from that, you're just so you because it was just you, right? It's your own path.

Yeah. And I do think I've got a lot of friends that were in L.A. During that whole after Blue Collar blew up that are from the South. And I think when you live in Los Angeles, maybe, or in New York, you almost become a character of yourself. Right. You know, before you know, you're saying things like, Jack, my hair to Jesus, and you're like, what does that mean? We don't say that. So I think it kept me real being in Tennessee and Texas and with a bunch of little kids, you know?

I think it kept me, because if I had been younger, I would have been worried about my thighs and I would have been in L.A. trying to be pretty. And I would have, it would have gotten in my head. And I would have been like, what do they want me to be? And not who I am. That's the biggest curse. Whenever you have those moments of what do they want me to be. Yeah, that's the kiss of death.

So now that you're, so you've gone on this journey now because you are right ahead of me, what's on your mind that you like to talk about on stage now that everybody's kind of out of the house? I talk about that grandbaby a lot. And I talk about the relationship with their daddy. Now that it's just us. Because, you know, there's a lot of, it's hard. Yeah. when you are empty nesters and it's like who are you and what do you want from me I mean

you know he's always building a career and he's very an overachiever and and wants everything to be perfect and then I was trying to do comedy and then and that but we the kids were playing sports or whatever they were doing and we were so into everything that that I tell young people now nurture that relationship with your husband and have a date night every week because these kids are going to be gone. And people would tell me that. I'd be like, and now it's just me and him. And it, you know, you've got to have things to talk about and all that.

So I talk about building intimacy with their daddy again. And how his idea of intimacy is so different from mine. You know, men are different. God made y'all different. And there's nothing wrong with that. I celebrate that love man. I've always loved man. In this age where everybody's pissed and all the time at man, I love man.

I've loved men since I was in kindergarten. And I love the way God made y'all. And y'all are supposed to be the hunter and the gathering. You're supposed to, you know, see your wife in a gown and, you know, go nuts. I mean, that's just, you know. It's just hardwired. That's hardwired. And I dig that.

Right. I have a friend who they became empty nesters and he was so nervous going on date night with his wife that he wrote down talking points. of things that could get them through the dinner. Well, that's a good idea. He was so scared of like, what are we going to talk about? I know. Because you're not talking about when she's got a volleyball in Colorado.

So you'd be an Indian actress while I got, you know. Yeah, it's that business is now dissolved. Yeah. It was the two of you running this corporation and trying to figure. And so it's all logistics. It was all just like, okay, and what about her? And is she getting in the SCTs and this and that? And who's got to pick up who?

And then it's, that company's gone. Uh-huh. It is. So we talk about, we sat and look at pictures of this baby and say, look at his calves. Look in his mouth. Look at his teeth. We all kiss him in the teeth. And then we all catch every bung that comes around because he's in daycare.

And so we don't care. We love him. We take that bullet because we love him. But we talk about the baby a lot. And now, I mean, Chuck will just go. go, where are you this week? And half the time, he doesn't know where I am. Right.

And he's like, he didn't even ask him or how'd it go. Right. Every once in a while he does. But I talk about, you know. How was Boise? It was Phoenix. Okay. And people say, oh, is your husband going to go with you?

And I'm like, no, I cannot take him. You know, God love him, but he would be expecting to do nasty things with me. Like at the wind, I was like, Chuck, this is a big deal. And I was trying to put on makeup. And I had a one of their. robes. I love it when there's a robe in the room. And that's very rare for me. It's true. So I

had it down and I still have these breast implants and he loves them and I was playing a little Michael Jackson, some old school, getting hyped up. I was, you know, because I was nervous and torn up over it. And he had been drinking

and playing blackjack and he comes in and starts doing that. I'm like, oh no, I know what that look is. Because he's not a dancer. And very introverted. So I know when he's like, I'm thinking, oh, no. And I'm like, don't touch me, Chuck. I'm going to sweat over my lap.

I've got to get, I've got glue on my eyelashes. So if I was on the road with him, he would, I would have to do horrible things. And be funny. And he would go, what is there to eat? I'd be on a bus cooking something. I don't have time for that. You know, my girls every once in a while will travel with me, and they're, you know, 26 and 24.

and they're, you know, they've got new spray tan and highlights and because we are from the South and they'll be like, how do I look? And I mean, they're about to introduce me. And I'm like, you look great. And then it's not about, it's, I'm practically, you know, in a gown because they've got, they stole my dress. So I just do whatever, I mean, they want the, they, they really don't want attention, but they're like, how do I look? And so I, I don't take the family a lot. Yeah, that's smart. And also, I've worked with people before that have hired. kids on the road and stuff. And I just don't think, um, I don't think it's good. When I see Jim on the, on the road and he's got all of his 12 children with him and he's kayaking. And it's like,

and they're all getting in the bus and they're all coming on stage and introducing him. And I'm like, Jim, how do you, how do you do it? But it's, uh, he's got, he operates in a different. He operates in it. He's bound to. Because I've never seen anybody churn out. Yeah. Material. And you think, what tour is this? Yeah. You know, all new material. I see him post of and I'm like, good Lord, I must be the biggest loser. I met him one time and at a after CMA's after party.

And I didn't get invited to the CMAs. Somebody just said, Lynn, come along and I snuck in. And he had been a presenter and I've always been a big fan of his. And I got to meet him and he said, you did that dry bar comedy special didn't you? I went, yeah. And he said, I know who you are. And I remember thinking, what? Because you know, I did this dry bar thing.

Yeah, that was it, right? That was the one that really popped. Well, that helped, but that didn't pop. That didn't make me pop. It was when I really couldn't sell tickets. It didn't translate into ticket sales. I think it got me a lot of fans, but I don't think there were people that went anywhere. Right.

And I remember, you know, I really and truly did that special thing. and nobody's ever going to see it. My manager said to me, there's this thing out of Salt Lake City. The Mormons are doing it. Nobody will ever see it. And I was like, okay. And he said,

you've got your luncheon in Dubuque that week. That's how good my career was going, Tom. That I was doing a luncheon in Dubuque. Which has nothing wrong with them. They're fun. All they do is drink. I mean, everybody's drunker in Kuda Brown at 11 o'clock in the, and I had a mimosa.

And then I had to go sit on. a toilet in a convention center because the rain started spinning. But anyway, then I flew down there and did that dry bar and thinking that nobody would ever see it. Right. And I did a bunch of old material that I didn't have anywhere. Right. And I could barely remember. Smart. Yeah. And I look at it and I cringe. I think it was horrible. No. You angel. But I did that about Maggie being mean at 14, 15. And that went viral. Yeah. But it didn't, I couldn't sell tickets like I was at Orlando. Tampa. I mean, Orlando and Tampa Impro, and they were like, we love her. She can't sell tickets. We won't have her back. She didn't get drunk and fight in the parking lot, but we're not having her back. And I just thought, I really thought I'm going to just quit. So it was Facebook?

It was, I hired those young guys. And they, all those clips. They got that stuff and you couldn't use dry bar. You know, they own it. So I couldn't use that. I couldn't use that. So they gathered up all the stuff I had over the years. over 20-something years and started putting stuff out. And I think the second video was the deaf leopard and journey and something about, you know, everybody's gone to concerts and thinks, oh, my Lord, everybody looks 100. And, you know, Fong Head is on their last leg. And that resonated with people. We're not cool anymore.

Yeah, and I think people saw that. And then it goes, what else is she done? We don't know her. Right, right. So then, because, you know, most of my career, I've done like the same five clubs every year that would have me. Yeah. But they were good clubs like Stardome, Zadies in Nashville, but in Austin Capsity Comedy Club, which is one of the best in the nation. They, and so I had those, but I mainly, to be able to stay home with three babies, I did corporate, private, any fundraisers, anything I could to try to stay in it.

Yeah. And, but it wasn't glamorous. She right. But people didn't know who I was. And I think now people go, oh, she must be one of those YouTubers. She's just started doing comedy out of the back of her van. And I go, no, I've been doing it 22 years. Exactly.

And I do kind of have a chip on my shoulder. I don't want people to think that. I've done this a long time. Yeah. Oh, who cares? As long as they know. That's what Greg Warren said. He goes, who cares?

Yeah, who cares that they know that. I mean, it's nice. I mean, the story is great. And it's nice to hear it. and stuff, but for people just to, they don't realize, like, that's, this is kind of how, how, how, how out of touch and not, and they shouldn't be. They, they, they, they don't know how it works. You're so good and smooth and professional. Of course, there's 20 years behind it. Of course. And there's all of this material. It's like, you know, for them to think that you just showed up, oh, that's just, that's just

them. They'll figure it out. Oh, Tom, thank you for saying. And who cares, right? Because they're showing up and having a great time. They don't need to know with this story. I know and I need to focus on that part. Yeah. You know, but I can't, in my head, I want to be one of the cool kids at the comedy store. Oh, where. Comedy shower.

I do. I've always loved comedy. Yeah. I've watched all of y'all for years. Yeah. And I say all of y'all. Jim Gaffigan and Lori Kilmartin came up or went to San Antonio and I opened for her. Uh-huh.

And we sat in the back and I remember her saying, you've gotten to have three babies. and you, of course, she was, you know, headlining and huge, and writing for Conan or whoever. And she goes, I want a baby. And this is before she had that little baby. Yeah. And I thought, you know, for women,

it is so hard in this business. And I am lucky that I got to have my family. Yeah. And then now they don't need me, and I can be gone and, you know. It's perfect. Even though I love to go home and get a big Costco run in. Yeah.

And I like to take it to all their refrigerators and to make sure everybody's got stuff. That is my, if I take my money, that's what I want to do. What's on that list? What do they get? I love for everybody to have salad mixes for the week, and I like to get everybody their meat for the week, their chicken breasts.

I like them to have organic. I don't want this grandbaby to eat chemicals. I fed mine chemicals. We didn't know any better. Tons of it. Tons of chemicals. Process everything. Oh, horrible.

So I made sure that they have, They're stocked with, you know, good antioxidant berries. I get all those kind of things. And I do. There are some brands now that have like grass-fed beef in it. But it's something you can fix. Yeah. You know, because they're all working and, you know, out of their minds.

And so I try to have stuff like that, but also cook when I go home. I was going to say. And they all come to my house. And they do? That's good. If it's just chucking you, do you cook? Not much. Yeah.

You need more people. I need more people. Yeah. We're bad about opening a salad mix, you know, and putting a protein with it or whatever. But I'm used to cooking, you know, several vegetables, a bread. Yeah. Like growing up, if we didn't have a cornbread or a biscuit or a French loaf, something, it didn't feel right to me. It doesn't feel right.

Exactly. And then I would go to a Weight Watchers meeting and they would go, you got to get that out of your hand. Like you don't have to have that. But that's what we did on my life. It's so worth it. I cook on a, I'll come home, take that 6 a.m. flight on Sunday back after getting into the hotel at midnight. And people think like, what are you insane? But I love landing, saying hi to the family, going to the store, getting all the food.

And who's coming over? Who are we adding? Who are adding to? Because the numbers are dwindling, right? So now it's like sometimes just the two of us and it's like, who else is coming? Well, we have a nephew that's here and we have a niece that. coming by and and cooking for them for the rest of that Sunday, that is that's your best. That is my thing too.

Yeah, it's the best. All right. Where's the 20 year old? 20 year old is in school back east. Where? Yeah. Well, I don't say publicly. Okay.

But I'll tell you off there. Okay. But she's, yeah, she's back. She's near family back there. Okay. Yeah. I was going to say, if she's near me, you know I'll find her a chicken and she can sleep in a bed.

Yeah, she's not that close. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, but how wonderful. But I'll take you up on that. Okay. When I'm rolling through town. Okay.

Where do you go, Zanis? I was just at the city winery in Nashville. Oh, yeah. I like that place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Louis Anderson used to come there. I was a big fan of Louis.

Oh, yeah. I got to work with him one time. Oh, he's the best. Love him. He was so great. Oh. Louis Anderson, I had him on my radio show. And he, you know, I've just been a fan of his forever.

And he was so sweet and so nice. We had met before, but he came after some time. We hadn't seen each other. And he came on the radio show. He's like, I've been watching you, Tom. We do similar talking about your family. And I know what you're doing. We're different enough where we could be friends.

But we're very similar talking about the same things. It was such a compliment that he was even knew what I was up to. Oh, that was so great. So sweet. So sweet. I met him after Baskets had come out and I was a huge Baskets fan. Yeah. And I loved him.

And Martha, that played Martha, she and I came up together in Cap City in Austin and she was hilarious. So funny. So funny. So funny. So, so Nashville is the time. What's the gig that I can possibly meet Chuck? You need to come to the BeG or. of the Tennessee Theater in Knoxville

and work those beautiful theaters. Tennessee theater is probably about 1,500 seats. Big Juesues, about 700. Okay. And then we also have the Knoxville Civic Auditorium, too, if you needed big time. That's where Jim comes and Nate Bargantzee have been coming.

But Theo just did Tennessee Theater. Taylor Thompson's doing it. Right. We get a lot of comedy come through there. All right, good. Dennis Miller shot a special at the Bejou. one time. Well, I will only accept the gig if I can clear it with you first that you will be there. I've got to be there. And you can stay with me. I know people say that to you all the time. You don't have to if you like your hotel room and like to clean it. But we can cook and do. I honestly, I say no to everybody. But I would say yes to that invite for sure. I don't know what it is. I have the same thing that you have where I feel like we have been friends much, much longer than we have. Oh, my darling, you don't. Yeah.

Thank you, honey. Enjoy the bread in your hotel room. Thank you. I will. Yeah. And give me a report. I want to know because you know these things. Okay.

I want to review. I will. I will. And thank you for letting me put part of the cool kids. I mean, I feel that way. You are a cool kid. Angel, when you ask me this, I thought, oh, my God. I really, I told my kid, they go, what are you doing out here?

And I go, I'm going to be with John Papa. Yeah. You're my favorite. Thank you. You're the best. We've got it, Aaron. All right, everybody. That is it. That was the big conversation with Leanne. I told you you would love her. You would love her. And I have to say, I genuinely want to visit her at her home. I want to meet her family. Don't you want to meet her family? I just know that a cooked meal with Leanne is just one of those stops on the road. I will make happen during my tour at some point. She's so funny. Check her out everywhere.

YouTube, Facebook, she's got specials. Go to Leanne Morgan.com, and that'll bring you to everything that she does. Thank you, Leanne, for being on the show. Thank you to trade coffee and policy genius. And thank all of you for listening once again. I hope you enjoyed this one. And keep spreading the word. Keep liking and subscribing, as the kids say.

And we want more people to come to the table every week. You guys are the best. Until next time, enjoy your day.