Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 119 - Jade Catta-Preta

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Jade Catta-Preta brings her new Netflix show Hotties to the table. It might not be what you're thinking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Happy end of the summer to you. It's starting to feel that way. Tomatoes are getting plump.

zucchini everywhere. It feels like we're coming towards the end somewhat, but I hope you're still enjoying yourself and having a good time. We've got a great podcast for you today. We've got Jade Catapreda. Jade is a very funny comedian. She is adorable, beautiful, smart, funny, and she's hosting a new show called, oh, damn it, hold on, just hotties? She's hosting a new show called Hotis on Hotties on Hulu, which I'm very excited to talk to her about. It's combining a dating show with beautiful people

and a cooking show with incredibly hot, spicy things that watch beautiful people kind of suffer. So we have to dive into it. I've only watched the first one, and it was hilarious. And she's so great. She's a great host and a great guest, and we're going to have a great time. I'd like to thank the good people at Thrive Market.

for sponsoring today's show. Thrive Market. I love these people. Shop everything from healthy pantry essentials and sustainable meat and seafood to non-toxic cleaning and beauty products. When you join Thrive Market, you're joining a community of one million plus members and sponsoring a family in need. Good products delivered right to you and done the right way. They're saving our planet with fast and free carbon neutral shipping. Join Thrive Market today and get $80 in free groceries. That's Thrive. T-H-R-I-V-E-Market.com slash Papa P-A-P-A to get $80 in free groceries. It's a great company, a great service. I'm using them currently. I'll talk to you a little bit more about them later. Thrive Market.

So I had my wife's real quick before we get in with Jade and start discussing hotties. I had the pressure of my wife's birthday over what seems like the last month. But it was really just over the last week. And she is kind of a cake snob. I don't think she would be offended by me saying that. I started this tradition when the kids were little where we would bake her. a cake every year and that was an expression of our love. We'd get the little my daughters and we would, they were little and we would make the cake and lick the spoons and do all the things.

And it was a nice little tradition and it was fun to do with the kids. And I think I mentioned this already. Now it's down to me making the cake. And my wife is very strict about it. No box cakes. We did a Duncan Hines once and she knew it. She saw it in the trash. And, and I'll get very angry. So it has to be from scratch, and it has to be good because she's going to analyze it. And I pulled off a red velvet cake from the Magnolia cookbook that was exceptional. I was very excited, but, and I only say this because we talk a lot about making things and baking things

and creating great dishes and all that other kind of fun stuff on this program, in addition to comedy and all the other stuff we deal with. We're always talking about making things. There are certain things I think I should just buy. And baking a cake and getting the frosting right, and there's so many times when it could go wrong. And then like even at the end, I had this beautiful white cake and realize,

oh, I didn't put any decorations on the top of this. There's nothing to say, happy birthday or anything. So I had these sprinkles and I pulled it off. But the point being, I could bake bread 500 times a week and be very content. The nerve-wracking part. Maybe it's because it's new. Maybe it's because it's something I don't do all the time.

But, you know, the other thing is you make this cake, and it was a success, and it was a relief that it was, she loved it, and the guests loved it, and everything went fine. But then, what do you do? You've got three quarters of a cake left. Who's eaten cake the rest of the week? like four sticks of butter just for the frosting. Two cups of sugar, four giant sticks of butter. I mean, you know, you get one slice and I think you're good for the month. I met a guy in New York, one of the Bellmen at the Soho Grand Hotel, who I know really well,

and he lost a whole bunch of weight. And he told me it was just because he stopped eating chocolate cake. He loved cake, chocolate cake, so much that he couldn't stop eating it. And I didn't realize when I met him that he had gained like 25 pounds just from eating chocolate cake. And you know what? I bet it wasn't even over that great amount of a time. I think if you eat this stuff regularly, you're going to double and triple in size.

So cake people have at it. Enjoy yourselves. I'm going to stick with bread. Jade, Jade is great. Jade is very funny. I have to admit, I have a little crush on Jade. She just lights up a room. She's so funny. She's so smart. And we run into each other at the clubs here in L.A. all the time. And I'm very excited to have her on the program. I don't know if we haven't had her on before. I've had her on my radio show before. But this really lines up because this new show, Hotties on Hulu, is hilarious. Taking beautiful people, messing with them and combining food. You can't lose. So enjoy my conversation with Jade Kata Preta. We were talking just before we started that I wasn't sure because you're always in such

great shape. Stop. You're always so beautiful and skinny. I was like, please, I hope she eats bread. Of course I ate bread. But you're cool enough where I was like she eats bread. Oh, it smells so good. It's so beautiful.

Was this something that you got into in the pandemic? Or is this something that you did it before? Before. And I, you know, it was kind of like when you're into a band in the early days and then they become popular. Yeah. And you're like, I was there in the beginning. That's me with King Princess.

I followed her when she was like underage and people were like, you're a freak, you're a creep. I'm like, no, just wait. Yeah. When she turned 18. And then they think that they're like into it. Yeah. And you're like, no, I'm into it. That was me with sourdough bread.

So you've had, you have your little weird sourdough starter. Starter. So what is that? That's like a mold, basically. It's kind of. It's like a gloss. thing of bacteria. Yeasty bacteria.

That's like just the female body. Encapsulated into a tiny jar. Yeah. And sometimes it gets angry and sometimes you can control it. And sometimes it grows too bad. And sometimes it makes things beautiful. Wow. And yeah, so I've been into it for a long time.

And I made this for you today. This is also this is giving me like waitress trauma. Like I keep thinking about the little thing that I kept in my pocket to clean people's crum. How long does you wait? tables for. Always, I feel like. Yeah. Like when I see someone on those reality shows, they can't open a bottle of wine.

I'm like, that must be nice. To not know. I don't think it's nice. I think that the best people on the planet have worked in food service. You ever go on a date with somebody who hasn't? And they're like, their attitude towards the servers. My boyfriend's like that weekend to fights every time. I'm like, are you ready to order?

What's your order? Like, I get everybody's orders prepped. And everyone makes fun of me. But I'm like, I think about the waiter so. much. I can't even enjoy it. I'm the same way. Until it's like everything's ordered and the one that really kills me and he'll be mad that I'm saying this is when my father makes demands from someone who is not working our table.

That's a dad. That's a parent thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, I need some cheese. Or this? Oh.

I'm like, no, it's not. But you know what? Maybe it's, we're overdoing it because we were sensitive because a lot of people don't care. Mm.

That server was being asked about the cheese while they're running. to do their... Right, you're right. They care. They care. It's just a horrible job. Like, it's a... It's tough. If you do it well, because I really, I like would have nightmares about, like, oh, I didn't get ketchup to table 22. Like, where were you? Where were you? Multiple places. I started in Virginia with this, like, really upscale French restaurant. I remember I was cleaning the glasses listening to my... I had an iPod and I was like, it's so cool, yeah? And the guy comes off and rips the thing. And he's like, you have to pay attention when you are cleaning the glasses. Like, he wanted me to be very aware and, like, he wanted me to be very aware and, like, he's

you know, but I learned about like multi-puccianos and I learned about wine and I learned about all that stuff really early on when I was like 14. So when I came out to L.A., my resume was impressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I bartended at the comedy story for five years. Oh, you did? Yeah, at that bar off front. No way. Yeah. Really? I saw a lot of stuff. Yeah, you must have seen a lot of stuff. I never have hung at that bar. Really? Nope. Yeah. I do my set. Not a lot of people hang out at that bar. I kind of wander off. Yeah. Let me go back the real quick. Oh, yeah, please. Because I was one. time in an Italian restaurant in New York, and the guy was cleaning the glasses, and it was a ritual.

Like, it was not just cleaning glass. Like, he had a steam thing. Oh, yeah, you have to go like that in the steam. Yeah. Is that what, what was your process? Yeah, that's what I would get. I would get, like, a thing of steamy water, and then you put it over the steamy water, clean it, you know?

Elegant. Beautiful. Beautiful. But it goes into the service. It's all, like, if there's shitty service, I don't like the food. Even if the food is like incredible, I'm like, I didn't like it. Yeah. Yeah, they made me feel uncomfortable.

Yeah, like making me feel like I'm the most important person there. Yeah. I guess I want my waiter to be like my partner in life. Right, exactly. It's all about me. Yeah, this is going to be a short relationship. You serve me. So might as well be worth it.

We come in, I tip you and then we're done. But I don't know. I feel like if the service is bad, yeah. But I love this setting. So did you carry that to the comedy store? Like you had all these great skills and now you're just. And then I'm serving box wine. and stuff to people who are like, this is too expensive.

I'm like, it's $3. The only night I did really well on was like the crack them up Thursdays, or track them up Tuesdays, because there's all these black dudes being like, give me whatever, and I would give them all the free booze and mix it all into one drink and be like $14. No, I would give it to them for free and then they would tip me. We all stole so much from that place. And was this while you were trying to be a comic?

Was this while you were? Yeah. This was the part, you were part of the internship there? The internship, truly. Yeah. Actually, the first time, you know, because Polly was there, and I had just come, I moved from Brazil when I was really young. Right. And Polly Shore in the 90s in Brazil was like, this is it.

America. Poly Shore, you know. How old were you when you came over? 12. To Virginia. So you were, okay. So you were watching this. Oh, I was like, Biodome was like, I just was like so fascinated by like MTV culture and him being a VJ.

And it had a lot of influence on me. And I remember the first time, I was like, Polly Shore. Oh my God. Yeah. And his assistant at the time was like. you want to shoot a sketch with Polly? And I was like, do I? I think I like got my makeup done the next day.

Showed up like with multiple outfits ready to go. I have no idea what we're shooting. Yeah. And he's like, so you're going to be going upstairs and calling clubs for Polly? And I was like, is that this? Are you guys going to be filming it? And they're like, no. That's just.

Oh, really? You just had a, you were just cold calling places to book them? And then I learned about cold calling clubs, which I had never done. So, you know, like a lot of my first disappointments became. wonderful opportunities to learn. Yeah. Much like waitressing, you know. Were you, did you have your sights on comedy at that age or did that emerge?

No, I wanted to do musical theater. That was like my big dream. I did dance forever. You did. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ballet jazz, too. Oh, there's got to be cute little, little dancer jades.

I had no body fat, even less. It's just a weird stick. I don't know how I didn't break. I mean, I didn't have casts a lot, but I don't know comedy. just kind of fell into it. Really? I was brought to the comedy store by Sandy Danto, who you know. Yeah.

He was like a writer in some show I did for National Lampoon, like some web show, which was like a soup style. Oh, yeah? And he was like, you should come to the store. And then I, from then, I just literally, after that night, never left again. Really? Yeah. Wow.

That's interesting. I just always romanticized the place because my dad was really into comedy when I was young. Oh, really? That's where it came from. What was he like? My dad was like, you know, he was a holographer. He made holograms.

What? He was one of the pioneers of holography. I was going to say, like, what year was this? In the 80s, because my grandfather was a diplomat, so he traveled around a lot. And I think that he was the only child. They were older. So I think he got, you know, he was like a hippie and into like rock and roll and comedy and Cheech and Chong and, you know, and then holography came around and it was an art form

at the time where they would shoot everything on a table, like with an object and reflected onto glass. And then they would have to print it like a photo. Like it was this whole thing. lab experience. And now it's all done by computers. It's all for security. And it's like there's not really art left in it. But that's why we moved to the States for him to open a company to do that. In the Virginia area? Yeah. In Charlottesville, he found some dude who. Oh. Yeah. Wow, that's interesting. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Such a bizarre. Yeah. He's got some really cool

holograms from the 80s and stuff. Does he really? Yeah. Like some, a lot of cool stuff. What does it mean to have a hologram? Like the little stickers. Like he's, oh, and he has the glass. to he has like the original. Really? So like a hologram, because it's projected onto glass, it's like so many different type little particles. Like, let's say we shot this piece, this beautiful piece of bread. Thank you.

And we broke the glass. Every little piece would be the whole bread. Oh. So it's just like it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like a prism. Physical digitization. Wait, what's that?

Like it broken down into bits. Isn't that creepy? And then when people go, oh, like the, what was the, like the hologram of, what's his Oh my God, the rapper. Of, um... Guys help. Aaron. Who?

Tuop. Thank you. Oh, my God. Jesus. Her both. Tupac. And people are like, oh, yeah, like that hologram of two. My dad gets really upset.

He's like, it's a projection. That's a projection. So was that show busy to you or was that just dad's work? No, it was exciting. It was. I remember he had a show at the mall in Brazil. Yeah. Where it was like they rented this little store at the mall.

And it was just like the, I had, helped out. And there was one hologram that went around like 360 and it was a girl on a towel like this and she would go like and I would just circle around it. Wow. Yeah, a lot of cool. Like I thought it was so and comedy, all that stuff kind of went all together. Like weed and like that kind of thing was always really attractive to me. Right. Yeah. What do you mean weed? Your dad was into weed? Yeah. He was into like Cheech and Chong was like a big. So I think it's like it all went together. Cheech and Chong like Grateful Dead. Um, Pink Floyd. huge Pink Floyd fan.

Right. So I think... He is like a really cool. He is really cool. Yeah. He is really cool. What's he doing now? He works for Sperry Marine.

Moving on. For what? Sparry Marine. What's Sperry Marine? Oh, the boat people? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

He does, you know, stuff there. Why? I'm just not as excited about this stuff now. No, I just don't know as much about it. Right. I think that holography was this like creative, yeah. And I don't really know as much of the stuff that he does.

Because it's all security. stuff too so he's not like exactly sharing it with me you know right but is your mom in the picture my mom is she works um at a florist shop she does floral arranges oh that's nice so that they've been together a long time 30 something what about yours that's nice mine are still minor 50 together 54 maybe are they like old italian like what are you like 70 they're in their 70s they got married really young high school sweethearts high school sweethearts yes what was the story was she was he was like i tried to get with her forever she wouldn't do it yeah she was um she was he was like the captain of the football team he was like a big deal in this when football was like a huge thing in new jersey

where they grew up it was like thousands of people went to these games and he was like the guy he was like the captain was she like a cheerleader was she a nerd no she was probably more of a nerd um and very funny and did all her things, but I don't know how they actually met, but when they met, he was just like, he is now, like a little, he was quiet, you know, he's quiet, but just really like, turn was hanging around and she, like, kind of liked him, but she also, you know, there was guys with leather jackets back in the day, like, you know, and, but she went out with him, but was like, but I don't know if he's too quiet, was her one complaint. And now married 54 years, and every day, she says,

why doesn't he talk more? Wait, why doesn't he talk more? Why isn't he talk more? Why is he so quiet? Like he was still? I thought you were going to go, why doesn't he shut up? No. Now it's No, it's still, it's still, she's still complaining that he doesn't talk enough. That is so funny. I feel like that's a dream. Yeah. I know. Like, people have to date us. I know. Do you talk a lot in your everyday life? So much. With your boyfriend, are you always talking? He just lets me, he's so patient. I turn off. After talking all day and night, I do like to not talk a little bit.

No, I do. There is a part of me that is very still. Yeah. You know, but, and we like, we're good together, like, not talking. Right. We're comfortable, but like, yeah, I just. How long you've been with him? Two and a half, two and a half some two and a half years.

That's big. I met him because I made fun of him on the soup. Oh, I remember you told me this. Remind me. And he's, he was on a show. when I made a fun of the clip, and that's literally how he met. And he contacted you online? Yeah.

I like it because it's a great subject matter to talk about on stage. It's been fun making fun of the fact that he was on a reality show. So he's good looking. He's attractive, yeah. And it's weird for me because I forget that he's really hot. Obviously, I know he's really hot, but you know what I mean? You're not constantly going like, he's hot, he's hot, he's hot. And they walk into rooms and you can really like, I've never really felt like what that's like he really, you can.

you can feel the energy shifting. Like any young girl, like teenage girls, like, they become very like, even my niece is like, she does that when she sees them? She's like one and she's like, today my niece goes, she's like one and a half.

We speak Portuguese, or we really want her to speak Portuguese. She got upset and she goes, I know, like that in Portuguese. And we were sad that she was sad, but we were so excited that she was saying it in such a like, Brazilian way. I know.

I had a weird thing at the, I was at the pharmacy the other day, and I'm in line behind this guy, and his little daughter is walking around with, like, the little cart. She's, like, literally two years old, you know, and, like, walking with the car with the mom. And I'm just waiting behind, and the little girl, like, starts grabbing her dad's leg and looking up at me, like, she's shy, you know?

Yeah. It's kind of, like, we made eye contact, and I made her laugh at it. And she's like, yeah, and she's, and the mom goes, oh cut it out you little flirt I was like wait wait wait wait wait a minute she's already shaming the girl I know she can't even I'm like she's just saying hi

and play and I was like it's kind of a weird assumption adult assumption to throw onto a two year old trying to walk that all the time because it's like you have kids yeah there's two daughters it's hard to go like don't do that when it's like something sexual because then that makes such a mark yeah like I often think

because I remember I saw we saw like a little girl. Sorry, this is, this is, this is not one for your dad to watch. But we saw this little girl like at daycare and she was like kind of like rubbing on this thing. And it's like nobody's stopping her. Like you want to let them be free, but then you've got to also go like, why are we going to rub on that thing? Yeah, okay, not now.

Right. Yeah, not now, honey. It's a perfect mixture of love and you don't want them to feel rejected because then they do comedy. Was your father? strict with you in that sense? No. You were dating boys or like that kind of thing. Like I was so boy crazy.

You are. And I think I just didn't know that I was like very gay early on. Like I wish that I knew. I'm pan. Uh huh. I just go for whatever. You go pan. I go pan.

I just go whatever. Right. You have will make it work. Like I just honestly, I'm like that. And I'm curious to see everybody naked. I'm like, what's that like? What do you got under there? But yeah, I was just really boy crazy and I wish I wasn't.

Like a lot of my early traumas are just from like dating older guys who were assholes. Oh, really? Yeah. Like I was in Virginia, you know, where it's like, the VA and like the Duke boys. And like that's what I was around. A lot of Dave Matthews concerts where I was like coked out. It doesn't seem right. Yeah.

So did you have any inkling that women were attractive at the same time or was it all boy at that time? It was all boy. but I was like in love with my best friend, but it didn't know. Right. Like I remember we were, this is, sorry, this is overshare, we're in a shower. And I was like kind of hiding my boobs because I was like feeling nervous. And I'm not nervous. Yeah.

And she's like, come on, stop. Like, show me her boobs. And I remember she like hugged me and I almost fainted. Like I remember just being like, like, boo. And I just didn't even put it together that I was just like really like starstruck by boobs by other people's boobs. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, totally unaware of it.

Fortune has the best. joke about. Oh, when she gets mad. She's my best friend. That's how I am. I'm like, why is she hanging out with somebody? I still do that. She's my best friend.

It's so fun to be gay all the way. To be all in. All in. It seems like, it seems, well, it seems once you get through the confusing discovery of it and that the realization of what you truly are, then when it's singular, it seems like it's pretty. Yeah. Yeah, but getting there seems seems like a strange journey.

Like, okay, I'm going to change my, like, I don't feel like I'm in the right body. Right. You know what I mean? I get upset when I get the wrong haircut. Like they trim too short. It's, I'm talking about it. Yeah. And so I like, yeah.

What's the longest relationship you had? Eight years. Really? Yeah. Eight years. With a comic. With a comic? Yeah.

Male or female? Male. Male. Male comic. And we did it. We lived hard. Do I know? You know him.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was just a really... Do I like him? You do. I do. He's super talented, like, amazing guy. It just was not good for us.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but eight years. Eight years. And you know what? We never have talked ever again. What? I haven't seen him since we broke up. Really?

Like, I haven't even spotted him in public. Like, I thought we'd always... So he's not even working out here? No, he's here. Oh, he's here. And... And you don't see him. I don't see him at all.

Weird. Isn't that weird? I kind of am like, the comedy store is mine. Yeah. But like all the alt rooms, sometimes when I do all rooms, I'm like, I'm just waiting for me to like finally like bug something really theatrical really big. Yeah. Opposite of him. Watch.

Oh, opposite of him. That will be the universe. Is he, uh, and how long ago, eight years? Like five years. Like five years. Maybe longer now. Yeah. Wow.

That's a long time to not run into him. I know, right? It's kind of weird. I think we both. Or like now at this point, it's so much like intensity of that moment. Yeah. Just both been avoiding it. Is he with someone else?

Yeah, he started dating someone like right away. Oh, he did? Okay, so you're walking around in your life and you're doing things and you want to buy the right things and put it into your body and clean your house and do all this stuff. And there's always these, a lot of times you've got to run from market to market to find the right kind of products. And you always, as most of us are, you're also conscious of what your impact is on the planet. Well, wouldn't it be nice if somebody, somebody were to come up with some, kind of a service where you could just order online all of the products that you know will

leave you satisfied, better, stronger, and make you feel like you're actually doing the right thing, that you're not wasting and you're not adding to the waste of the planet and you're not, and you're supporting companies that thinking the same way. Well, welcome to Thrive Market. With Thrive Market, you can shop everything from healthy pantry essentials and and sustainable meat and seafood to non-toxic cleaning and beauty products, all delivered right to your door. And if you find a price lower anywhere else, Thrive Market will match it.

That's the cool thing when you actually go on and you order it. You pick the things that you want. You pick when you want it to come and then they show you the savings. It's really pretty great. Thrive Market carefully vets each and every item so you can trust that if they sell it, it's probably the highest quality available. finding everything you need is easy on Thrive Market because you can filter by 90 plus values and lifestyles to find the ones that work for you. I was on the road for about two or three weeks and I knew when I was coming in I wasn't going to be there that long and the last thing I wanted to do was run around town getting all of my pantry items.

You know, getting flour and getting some basics, getting some tuna, getting the things that I need like my staples, you know, even coffee. and you just go and Thrive Market and you just order it and it's there literally the day that I got home. Thrive Market, when you join Thrive Market, you're joining a community of one million plus members and sponsoring a family in need. Join Thrive Market today and get $80 in free groceries. That's Thrive.T-R-I-E-Market.com slash Papa P-A-P-A to get $80 in free groceries. $80. That's ThriveMarker. dot com slash papa thrive market dot com slash papa try them out you will be very happy you will be doing

good things eating good things cleaning with good things and your life will be easier you'll also have more free time thrive market thanks for being on coming on board men right just re-upped and kept going after eight years membership with a different vehicle right away not another comic no not another comic he learned. That's good. I think one headshot per relationship. Yeah. What does your wife do?

She was a comedian. She was? Yeah. But then pretty much stopped when we had children. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. And we were relocating from New York. Like, her scene was New York.

So she played all like the cellar and all those places in New York. And when we came here and then had kids, it wasn't like just drop in at the store. Like she didn't, this wasn't her scene. You have to do it, redo it all over. I have all over again. I have all these friends who just moved from New York. They're like sought after seller comics in New York who probably work a lot of hard, like a lot more than most of the comics here can't even get in. It's a totally different. You just don't know the people ask me and I'm like, I'm not going to, I don't, I'm scared of my own. I can't help you. I'm hanging

on by a friend. I'm like rose on the day. There's no room for you, Jack. Yeah, why did you come here? Yeah, but I get it. That was hard. And like when we went back to New York and, and she was like, maybe I'll go back into it, like, once they were starting to get on their feet. How old are they now? Now they're 17 and 20. Oh, my God. They're on their feet. Oh, yeah, yeah.

They're on their feet. They've been running. Yeah, no, they're like. They're like, they're real people. You have, like, full adults that you made. Congrats. I just check in with. I really want to have kids.

You do? I do, yeah. Yeah. But it's becoming more and more, I don't know, it's becoming more and more, like, unreachable in a sense. Like, I'm stuck in this apartment. I've been trying to get a house for two years. Yeah.

Not to be pessimistic, but it just feels like, eh, maybe not. The smartest idea? Well, that I do. People always go like, just do it. Yeah. I agree with those people. Really?

I do. I totally agree with those people. I feel like it's, I'm drying up. There's something to, if you really want it, you should just do it. I know. I think I do really want to. Because there's no, it does kind of take care of itself. Like you get, there's like this, you know, super motivated underlying thing that happens

to your subconscious that it's, you're not. even making decisions. You're just getting it done. You're getting it done. I just don't want to think about me anymore. Like I know, you know what I mean? Like I'm kind of exhausted of doing this hustle thing. Oh, Jade, I'm totally with you. I remember being in the shower in New York before we had kids and, you know, just making my way as a comic and trying to get on shows and trying to do this. And I remember like someone had said something about like feeling like a lump in your arm. Like you have to check yourself for like cancer or thyroid or something like. Tom Green song? And I literally remember, I remember being in the shower like,

enough with me. Like, enough with me. And once you have kids, it's, yeah, that problem is solved in a big way. I'm just sick of it. And I've been like, I have the show coming out. I'm so proud of it. And then instead of just being like so excited for people, there's all that stuff of like, what if I don't get another?

It's going to get to you. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to just keep moving forward. I like just want to throw myself forward. Well, don't you. feel like, don't you feel like that's gonna, you've had enough, you were the host of the soup. I have soup trauma. I do.

I'm with you. Because I literally was looking at your, your stuff. And when I was looking for the new show, which is called hotties, which is on Hulu. And we'll talk all about that. Yeah. But I had like a big exposure like thing, like when I was hosting a show on NBC. see. And it came and went pretty quickly. And you had the same kind of a thing. And I was thinking, I hope that she, and I really believe that you are, because you, I hope that you didn't get mired down by that.

And it didn't seem like you missed a beat. It seemed like. I mean, the pandemic was a bit of a beat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you had that. I didn't realize it like really hurt me until it took me a while. And I ran into some of the writers and some of the researchers last night at the store. Oh, yeah. And they're on a show where they feel really free. Because I think just none of us felt free. You know what I mean? When you were doing the soup? Yeah.

We really wanted to make them happy and like keep things, you know. Yeah. We didn't really try stuff and we didn't really get to. And I think there's like this newfound freedom that we all feel in these new projects, right? That we didn't even understand. Yeah. Problems before. And this guy was just like, yeah, I was so excited.

And then when it ended like, I didn't even understand like because it was everybody's dream job. You know, like we all grew up with it. And it seemed like it was just one of those like. like, oh, this is going to go. This is no way. Of course. This isn't like one of those that's struggling, like a new property. Like this is like.

And I think that's what it was. Yeah. Benji said it best. He was like, it was a meteor that was like already coming down and you got to like touch it for a little bit before it crashed. Like before it exploded. But I don't know the ins and outs, but it seems from the outside it seems like if the pandemic doesn't happen, then you probably don't crash.

No, I don't, you know, I think that there was a changeover in the execs before. before all of it, where they were kind of like, do we want to make this show anymore? Right. Like they just had a different vision for it. You know, like, I wanted it to be like the gross like green screen, Eric Andre feeling type show where we're like, fuck shit being weird and like, you know,

and they wanted it to be like very E, like a very E show. Like, you know, they're branding with Bravo too. So it just became a different. It became a mishmash. But man, are they morons? Because it, because. We had Mike Lawrence. And I think he's like the best writer in the world.

Mike is the best. He's like a mad genius. He really is. And it just got to the point where every joke that we liked of his would get cut. So like if anything made it, he was like, it's not a good joke. No, I'm not doing it. Oh, so dumb. Because that format was so great.

It's so great. And it's gone on for decades. But it's different now. People get information. Like, you know what I mean? We don't need clip shows to see. Like, we're online. It's a different.

No, look, you can defend it all you want. I like, please take over eight. You were perfect. You were perfect. It made so much sense. You were so great in that. format. It really totally should have, but that it didn't, is on them. It's not on you. Hey, man. It's, I had, it took me a long time. Because I also didn't really talk. I didn't, like,

publicly say anything because I felt kind of embarrassed about it. Right. And they didn't make any announcement. Right. And so it just felt like sort of this like weird anti-clamatic non-closure thing for me. Yeah. Until I finally. And then even when I said, I was like, hey, I went the soup up and it and it didn't go. And then I felt kind of embarrassed that I like even said that. Mm. What do you mean? Like I felt embarrassed that I revealed that it like hurt me that it was like I felt like kind of too vulnerable. Like I'm not really that person. You know, that's like today my dog died.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No, I understand that. But that's you're actually one step more to sincerity than I am. Like I don't even let myself. I don't even say that to myself. Stop. Yeah.

It's just like love well, all right, let's go. Why? Why do you think that? Is it just easier to deal with it that way? Yeah, I think so. I saw this great article. that Norman Lear wrote in, because he just turned a hundred.

Never heard of him. A hundred, he's a hundred? 100. Just turned a hundred. And he wrote an op-ed for the Times, I believe. And just talking about political stuff and, you know, all in the family and all that. But the greatest part of the article for me

was his two favorite words are over and next. That's so interesting. Right? Yeah. Why? You got to keep moving. You got to keep moving. You can't wallow in the past.

You can't do it. It's forward. Can't be in the future. That's over. What's next? How great is that? It's hard. It is hard, but it makes so much sense.

Because the hardest part, I think, is that you never really sure when something is truly over, especially in this business, it drags on and maybe, and we might pitch it somewhere else. And yeah. Somebody else might want it after everybody said no. Yeah. It takes a while for you to get the realization that it's over, over. But once you're there, all right, that's a lot. that's over. What's next? I know. I want to have that spirit. I'm getting better. I really am. Like, even today when the show came out, I had this whole expectation of like, I want my friends to call me and I want everybody to be excited. And like I haven't really heard from anybody. And then one of my friends called. I was like, we're all adults like with like adult lives. And it's straight. Why expect that? And it's streaming. It's not like everyone has to watch it at eight o'clock on Thursday. It's like, it's all out there. Like I can't do anything anymore. Like I did it already. Like I have to enjoy this part. Otherwise it's like, why am I doing this? But it is hard. It's a weird industry.

Are you doing a lot of press for it? I am, like, kind of on my own. Because I think it's like a little more raunchy than they usually put out stuff to be. I even watched it and it was like, wow. Oh, really? I really left some stuff in there. All right. Well, let's talk about it because it's, I only got to see the first one.

Yeah, it's dumb, right? It's, it's, no, you know what's really interesting is I thought when I was, when I was, when I cued it up, I was like, this is going to be dumb. It's pretty dumb. And, but, you know. What about that? You feel like you're in the hands of someone funny that you really love. So it's like, or let's see what's happening.

And it really is, it's smart. It's like to take, to take people, beautiful people on a dating show. They were so beautiful, all of them. Which we all see. Yeah. And there is a little quiet resentment that we all have because we're not them. We don't look like that. And then to put them in these arduous situations of having their mouths on fire and

and tying in food. it was like, oh, this is actually pretty brilliant. That moment when that happened, like when they go, oh, that's not that bad. And then it like changes so quickly. I didn't know, I didn't know going in that that was the hook that like we're going to do like the hot wing thing to these beautiful people. Within the day. Yeah. And then you just commenting on the side is hilarious.

I love it. I got to be with you. Do you know Jay Chris Newberg? No. He's a comic who's been around forever and he was in the trailer with me and he is just one of those. Like, oh yeah. I think I made some joke about like. like, oh my God, what's that movie?

Mascarra. Oh, was her mascara running? Yeah, and I made some like. You see some, though, it's sprinting? No, but it was like something about like Night Massacre or whatever, but I said mascara. And like, I would have never thought of stuff. Like, he just has really quick references and it's nice to have those people. Whatever made us laugh, like we dissed it.

Right, right, right. I think I said clitboner in one episode. And then I go cloner and they freeze on it. I was like, oh my God. It made me. I was like, that's. Yeah. So raunchy.

But it's interesting because they let me loose and now I know what it feels like to be loose and it's such a different process for me where I'm not like obsessing over what my hair looks like and like I was so nervous on the soup of like how I looked and like how I dress and I scrubbed all of my social media. So it wasn't really I just wasn't really being myself anymore at some of a certain point. And it took me a long time to realize that. Yeah. This show was good for me for that. It's hard to. That's an interesting thing because there's. I've been in situations like that where it's not really about you.

It's about the other people involved and they're hammering you. And you're just and you know. And what's hard about it is that you know that your natural comedic instincts left alone will be better than all of this worry that they're putting on you. Right. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was funny anymore. Yeah.

Is that good? It's like, right, just leave me alone. Yeah. And it was hard to watch. It's hard to watch. It's hard to go back and watch. Oh, really? Yeah.

Like, you. Like, I kept getting this window that my hands were moving too much. And I got in my head about it. But then I would watch all of the other hosts. Like Samantha Bee and I would watch all the hosts I look up to. And I'm like, their hands are moving. Right. But then I see hotties.

I'm like, oh, yeah, my hands move too much. It's too much. It's weird. Yeah. It's comedy. Just got to let it go. Just be like. Did you have fun making it?

I love. It was like the most fun thing I've probably ever done. Just because getting to be so loose. Yeah. And commenting. And then they really listened to me as far as like, because I watch a lot of reality TV. Right. As far as like, I don't know.

Yeah, they just were so, it was so collaborative. And the girl who edited the show, Cam, Cam, you know, we'll be watching this. Incredible. She's also incredible. And the showrunner Bruce was, it's like, so the four of us combined and then let them letting us all be a part of it in that way was just. Did these people have any idea what they were getting involved in? You know, some of them really didn't.

Like, some of them had, like, stomach issues. I was like, why did you sound of it? And then some people weren't unfazed. Yeah. Like, unfa. Like, this one Asian girl just didn't, like, nothing. We were like, can we make her spicier? Like, that first reaction that the guy from New Jersey had, the black guy from New Jersey,

like, he freaks out. He's like. And she's like, oh, that was a lot or something. He had a superman tattoo on his chest. So he couldn't take off his shirt, which was, which upset me. Like, you can never take off your shirt on TV. What are you doing, man? Sorry, name.

Yeah, right. What a dumb move. He was so hot. But like that legit thing of, of that, that hot wing experience, that hotness, that temperature, it does something to your brain. Well, CapsaSan, yeah, it tells your brain that you're in the most intense pain you've ever felt. But in reality, it's actually, you're not actually, nothing is physically actually

happening to you except. But you're freaking out. You're freaking out. And by the way, I couldn't do it. That's the ironic part. Yeah, like, I really would love to do hot ones just because, like, it would be a great match. Yeah.

But it's taking me so long to get my acid reflux under control. I'm so scared. Have you had that issue for real? Yeah, for real. I have a hyidal hernia. What's that mean? I have a hernia, like, right here in my esophagus. Uh-huh.

So if I eat, like, spicy food, chocolate, caffeine, red sauce. Oh, no. My stomach, like, flares, and it pushes up. on the hernia and it feels like I have like something in my throat. Ow. It's hot. When did this start happening? Always.

Always. I found out yoga was making it worse. How was it making it worse? Because when you're down on the ground doing like core work and pressing on it, it makes it. Oh. I know. I was like, Bickham's good for me. Why do I feel like I'm joking?

Oh, God. It's the first time I've ever heard yoga being bad for you in any way. Hey, you heard it here first. Yoga's horrible for you. Jesus. No, so I finally got a doubt. So your diet is pretty, so bread is actually... Bread's awesome.

Yeah, your friend. Bread's awesome. I'm going to put a little ghee. Ooh, I'm excited. Yeah, that's good. I mean, it's just so beautiful, you know? I know. But yeah, gluten things are real and...

But nothing makes spicy worse than water, by the way, which is whatever. What? Oh, yeah. It spreads the capcassas and around and it hits more nerves in your mouth telling you that you're in more pain. So the trick is really just to... swallow it if you can, like not chew it at all. Just like, yeah, but then those people are suffering. Some people threw up immediately.

Yeah. But you're suffering like for the rest of the day. Oh, you're suffering until that stuff's out. Yeah, exactly. We did this hot wing thing down at the beach with my nephews. And there's this place called Chicken and the Egg. And it's like insane. The hottest one is called ludicrous.

And it's just that like off the charts where they, when you order it, they like come out. They're like, it's 500,000 square. Will you please don't order this? We're like, we're going to do it. And me and my nephews and watching everyone's reactions are so funny. Little kids. Yeah, just like taking their shirt off and running down the street. You have a little kid version.

That would be funny. Yeah. I think that's what the audience is like going to be young because young kids love seeing like reaction stuff. Like the yeah. What was that video that with the chip that everybody was obsessed with? The talkie talkie. Oh, the talkie is like the book. But you know, people say reality TV.

TV's lowbrow. Mm-hmm. But I think it's really fascinating the psychology of it. Oh. Yeah. That's why everyone watches it. I know. Everyone can act like it's like, you know, well, that they're above it.

But once you start watching, you just, you're not turning it off. I just find a fact, like, what happens to people when they're. And it was so fascinating to see them on the dates. And then now, you know, I've been like getting tagged on stuff and I'm like finally seeing like their profiles and stuff. Oh, yeah. Just seeing like who they are as people. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's interesting to see like what happened to them when they were like that. And they're all like, please. like, please tell me I look okay. Did I shit myself? Could you see it? Oh, no. You know, they're all nervous.

But I think they're all happy with when it comes out because it's like. Yeah. I felt for the girl who was throwing up immediately right at the edge of the truck. I was just like, oh, she's so great. She's so I love her too. She was one of my favorites. Yeah. She was so like electric.

They were all. It's, they did a really good job. They found really like electric fun people. Yeah. Which made it fun. I watched how many dates was it 10? So 20 dates. I could do it.

Where'd you shoot it? Where are those food trucks? They are, we did it at Vasquez Mountains in Santa Clarita. Oh, okay. And we couldn't feed them booze because we were in Santa Clarita at this park. Like, it's like a national park. So next time, hopefully we get them drunk, too. Oh, my God.

Then it would really be off the charts. I've never had a second season. You've never had a second season? Never. That's so funny. Isn't that crazy? We're very similar. Is it?

I've had a couple that just had, I've made it to a second season. I don't think a third. That's, but it's You gotta go Every year, right? Yeah. What was your biggest heartbreak? Professionally?

Mm-hmm. I think it was the first sitcom. That one was the toughest because I didn't even, it felt like it was happening before it was supposed to happen anyway. I was just getting lucky at every step of the way. Yeah. Like they literally came, saw me do a set on Conan and, dragged me out to LA. Stop, the dream.

Like, that's what used to happen to people. They would do a set and people were like, you need a sitcom. And they literally called and like, do you have ideas? And I was like, yeah. And then just, it, and everything just,

it just kept happening. And then the president of the network changed, right when we were about to. That's dead. It's every single, it's every single. And it's nothing against the new people. They just want a clean slate.

Like, wouldn't she want a clean slate? It wasn't their show. And it dragged on and on. and that one was the toughest to take because it was like, oh, this is just going to happen. And, but I remember I called a friend of mine and I knew it wasn't going to go. Like they were just going to burn it off in the summer like six episodes. And I remember calling like confused like, should I, how should I feel about this? And the advice was great.

It was like it was twofold. It was, uh, you're in the. game now. You've gotten this far where you actually have something on. It may not seem like you may think this is the only opportunity you're going to get, but it's going to be more opportunities because now you're one of these people. You're now in the game. Like you've had a show. And that was, I had to kind of like talk myself into it when I heard it, but it was ultimately very true. It's true. Yeah. You've got like that poker chip now. Yeah. That's all it is, right? You get this little like I have never done late night.

I've never submitted to late night. Right. It's like my biggest to do. I think about it constantly. You do. I've been trying to film a five for three weeks straight. Uh-huh. Like almost every night.

Yeah. And it's like I finally got a good set. And then it's like now the jokes have to be moved around. And I'm, God damn it. That's going to be another like three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. It's like all these little comedy things.

No, I don't. Oh, just on your own. Oh, just on your own. Nobody's asked. Yeah. Nobody's asked, I'm just going to knock on their door and go, hey, is this clean enough? Yeah, no, that would be perfect. No, but I would love to pick your brain because it's such a formula.

People don't understand at home, like, how they're different muscles, like when you perform live versus doing a TV set. Yeah, it's a great thing. I actually was talking about this. How many times have you done it, actually? Oh, a ton. I think I didn't. You don't know how many late nights you did? No.

Because I did a lot on Conan. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait till the day, Tom. Yeah, no, it was like, I don't know, 14 on Conan or something like that. That's so impressive. That's so cool. What was impressive about it and why it was valuable is now, as you're experiencing,

to get five minutes that's ready really means 20 in your regular act. Yeah. So it kept you, it always kept me worried. working really hard because you had that idea. So you had to generate the material. And it was a real barometer of like whether something was good enough. Actually funny or not. Yeah, you know.

Yeah. It's a very, in the structure of like what that tight, tight five. But then when you get it, like I got really close last night, really close. The closest I've ever been. Uh-huh. And I just felt so good to go like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing anything. Yeah. I'm not being like, I'm just saying these jokes.

Right. Because I think I rely a lot on, like, performance and being loud or singing or like, well, you know. And I tend to shy away from like the stuff that I feel really good about writing because they hate it. It's like a step further. Yeah, yeah. You know, into my heart. But it's good, but that's a good indicator, right? It only took me 14 years.

Why did it take me so long? Well, because you were doing other things. Right. Because you had other opportunities. Right. You had other stuff. You never learned how to write. That's fine.

It's fine. You know, now my special is coming out and it's everything I've ever written. And it's such a relief to be done with it. When's it coming out? August 28th. Oh, no way. Yeah, on YouTube, on Helium Comedy Studios. What are we calling it?

It's called jaded. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Because it's, I'm done with this material. No, that's good. Yeah, it's everything I've ever done. It's not even, I don't even think I did the full hour. I cut so much out of it that I was upset about that it's like 47 minutes.

Perfect, by the way. I'm excited. Perfect. They did 12 people. specials and I just been running it so much. I was like, I have to graduate this material because it'll never be this good again, like this sharp again. Oh, that's so great.

But now I'm at zero, like, I have like six new bits. It's so exciting. Yeah, that is exciting. Yeah. Oh, that's good. It's just all about my boyfriend being hot. That's all I talk about. Nothing original.

I just have to live it in order to write it. Just about how hot he is. Wait, you were telling me about something about late night and I cut you off. Sorry. Oh, no. the second thing that I learned from it, from the big heartbreak. Oh, yes. Was that it really taught me the power of being a comedian because it was on NBC.

And after going through all of that and having it and feeling like, oh, my career is over at whatever age. Yeah, in your 20s. And then was doing the Tonight Show and was literally driving onto the same lot, parking in the same spot where I had this sitcom that ultimately. went away. Yeah. And I was pulling in to go onto their network on my own terms to go do stand-up. Your jokes that you wrote about your life. It taught me like, oh, okay, as long as I take care of this, everything's going to be okay.

Isn't it crazy? But don't you hate, sometimes I hate comedy so much. You hate comedy? Sometimes I hate it. Why? I have such a love hate. I get so burnt out on it. What do you mean?

Like the process of it, the going out every night. I get like really burnt out where I'm like, fuck this. Like I just burn out. When you wake up in the morning, you're like, I wake up and I'm like, ugh, I got something funny.

I hate that. I have to do something tonight at nine. Yeah. Well, I think that's a sign that you're doing it too much. It was. I was doing it too much. And now I like have this full,

like I went to the store on a Monday night last night for the first time in maybe nine years. And it was so, like everybody there. You can feel like the energy of the new comics too. It is something different. Like, yeah.

And it is exciting. Like I'm like, I think I like comedy again. because I just learned how to write. Yeah. And also, yeah. And, you know, I do believe that, because I've been really looking forward to it more lately.

And I think that was one takeaway from the pandemic was like, oh, not doing it for a while doesn't mean that you turn into this non-fucky human being. You're actually, we all thought that, didn't we all thought, like, we have to do it all the time, nonstop, or we're going to lose it, which was such a dumb thing. I do lose a little. A little. You get a little rusty.

But how quickly do you get it back? Quick. You do like two sets. And you're like, I can talk again. Yeah, right, exactly. It's so weird because English, you know, like it's not my first language.

So sometimes there's moments where I don't remember any language. It'll just blank. And you really? It'll just, you go Portuguese, English, nothing. Nothing. I just think Britney Spears. That's the only thing that comes to me.

Now you can perform in Portuguese, right? I can, but I'm very rusty now because it's been a couple years now. Okay. But I think I'm doing a show in my. Miami in November with two other female comics for Brazilian. Really? All Portuguese shows. And what's that?

Like, is it any different? It's completely different. I thought, I'll just translate it. Yeah. I got this guy, he speaks Portuguese. We translated jokes and people were like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, I could just see the confusion and feel the confusion. And then I was like, oh, I have to explain it in a different way.

I have to tell the story in a different way. I can still tell the same bit. Right. But I have to just set it up in a completely different way. in the way that they would explain it. Oh. And so I, like, slowly after I was there for a few days, I started speaking more fluently and then getting some of the jargon and watching comics

and you think I talk fast. Oh, really? Holy shit. These bris, yeah, so fast. I can't even understand what they're saying and I'm going on next. And I'm like, really? Yeah, I haven't, I hadn't eaten shit like that in a while. And it was very.

Oh, my God. So humbling. It was humbling and I learned, like, the, I learned my strength. English after that. What do you mean? Because I was like, I just want to say this in the moment. Why am I not saying this? Because I don't know how to say it in Portuguese.

And then when I came back and had that same freedoms. Right. And I could speak the language. I was just like, oh, finally. Like I'm. Yeah. And the comedy's in a different spot there. You know, it's still kind of like where it was here in the 90s.

It's sort of this observational comedy still. Right. And I've heard every bit. I'm like, I've heard all these bits. You've heard all of it. You know, obviously not all of them, but a lot of them. Right. I'm like, hey, this is this person.

This person's bad. So are they accepting of what you're doing? Like, because you're ahead of that. In Brazil are very supportive of each other. It's a different beast. It is. You come off stage, like, this idea, this idea. They all are like that with each other.

Wow, that's great. Because there's not really competition. There's space for all of them. Right. People are hungry in Brazil. These guys have millions of all of them. Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

It's like a really thriving thing there. Wow. And social media has really helped them. Could you do it in English? there? I did a few shows in English, like these huge shows. Yeah. And I just talked too fast.

People were really lost. Oh, yeah. But I want to keep trying. What do you mean? They just would do these like, like 2,000, 3,000 people shows at these malls. So these comics have these residencies in different, like, shopping malls where these malls have like theaters inside of them, like movie theaters. Okay.

That they'll put up comedy shows on the weekends. Oh. It's actually kind of brilliant. They should do it here. Yeah. And they have residencies. So they'll do like a month. Every Friday, Saturday.

And like the main person is the, right? Right. It's like three comics. And after you do comedy there for like a couple of years, you're already doing full specials. Really? Yeah. Is there any part of you that's like,

let me just go live there for a year? That's all I want to do. But it's harder to make money there with comedy. Because, you know, there's a dictator and stuff. I mean, well, I guess it's like that year. But, yeah, but it's like really difficult to make money as an artist there. You get these like, I don't even know what they're called, but these, like, Social Security card things where you have to, like, say what you do and you collect the diff.

It's kind of, I don't really understand it, to be honest. It's like doing comedy and as a socialist. Yeah, exactly. It's like, did I get my stamp for the laughs that I put in? Well, I get my bread. It's hard to live there, I think. It's very corrupt. But it's beautiful.

I want to live there secretly. That's my mission. Really? Yeah, I want to have a show on Broadway and I want to live in Brazil. Really? Really? Tell me about the Broadway show. Broadway show is going to be like a variety, funny, dance, singing, nudity.

Like, called Jade? Yeah, it'll be like a Magic Mike meets like a Carol Burnett meets. I don't know. I'm trying to think of a third. And it runs on Broadway for like a good, like a good healthy run, like four years. I'm like a good healthy run for me. I'm like a good two months. No, because all you have to do with this one is extend one season.

just over many years. I just want to do something, I don't know. Yeah. I also like, I just really find nudity funny. I don't know. I'm such a child, but I feel like nobody's really done it successfully fully except Bridget or, uh. Yeah.

She like really does it. Bridget Everett. Yeah. Yeah. No, she's, yeah, she's the only one. But like, I can't just pull out my tiny titty and go like, this is a thing. Like, that's a stretch. But that's what I would love to do.

I mean, Broadway? Broadway. Naked? Broadway naked, like inappropriate, funny, naked, weird things. Right. A couple of moments where you go over the line. Yeah. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Dame Edna sexier. Exactly. The reviews will be like, I couldn't believe I saw so much or I didn't ask for this. That's why the tickets were so cheap. And then you take that play or that musical, the success of that. Bring it to Brazil. Bring it to Brazil.

And then I'm in a novella where I'm like. like an old, like I'm like the matriarch or the family in a novella. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, and then I'm friends with Shusha. I have a whole. And that level of fame circumvents any kind of authoritarian government because they want to be your friend. Friend, but you're on TV.

You're the mom on that show. I love. Those, the rules don't apply to you the way they do. It's like when you get rich and you become a celebrity and then you start going like, oh, vote for Caruso. Those malls are nice. I love the grove. I actually really do love the Americana.

I'm there a lot. They know me by name. Hey, there's not, yeah, there's definitely, yeah. I keep saying to my 20-year-old, I don't see the problem. He could make things so nice. People could live above stores everywhere. Who lives there? She's like, I'm like, well, I don't understand why a businessman could have possibly of any problems,

running some part of government. Who won? That's how much I voted. I don't know who won. I voted for Karen. Are we allowed to say our votes? Is that a thing? That's how much I'm not into politics.

Are we allowed to talk about politics? Yeah, we can do it. Stay in your lane. Talk about bread. Polotic it. Fun. So what's going to happen with this boyfriend now? Hopefully he creates a whole new way of,

he's a finance guy and he's finance. He's finance and he's like very passionate about creating basically this like new form of money. money. Oh, man. This is good. He's working with a copper company. It's really cool what they're doing.

He just wrote his white paper. I'm on the side going like writing the most disturbing stupid jokes while he's like talking about monetization and like the history of money within America. I'm like, this works. Yeah, that's, this is good. This works. This is good. I'm proud of him.

Yeah. Yeah. And you meet him and he's a completely different human than what you assumed, which is also the best. I love that. Right. He's like one of those. Right.

Because he's the. Jelly beans that. or like gross on the inside. You know what I mean? I guess it's a bad. Yeah. No, there's nothing, you know, when you're in a relationship with them,

it's great. From the outside, seeing someone who's beautiful, and then you find out that they're smart and funny. Yeah. That's really disturbing to the rest of the world. Yeah. I'm like, what happened to you? But this is why your show is going to be a hit.

Because you're taking beautiful people. Oh my God. It's all come from my relationship. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I guess I always wanted to be a part of it. Yeah. I've always wanted to be a part of reality.

But it's cool to see like so many women taking over these like hosting rules and actually making. I mean, look at Nikki. Like F. Boyt Island is brilliant. It's so bad. It's so good. It's exactly what I like. We were just talking about that because Gordon's going to be wrapping up. And yeah.

And it's like how has there not been a woman like at this spot? We all dream about it. We all want that spot. Yeah. We all want it. Yeah. We all dream about it. It makes perfect sense.

I mean, aren't we? I think we generationally. And it can't be Chelsea. Sorry, Chelsea, no offense. But there's somebody friend there. Yeah. Yeah. She can go do it.

Do whatever she wants to do. She's done it. She had to talk. She had a. She shows her tits off all the time. They're great. What have you eaten today? Today I had a protein shake in the morning.

Okay. And then I had black sobi noodles, like a little surf rye thing that I made. Oh, that's good. Yeah. What about you? What did I have? I had granola with blueberries and oat milk in the morning. Oh, I'm an oatmeal girl, too. Like a tiny little bowl. Just to get me through my radio show. How early is your radio show? Coffee, coffee, coffee. Not that early. We do it at 10, 10 to 12. That's the one with fortune. Yeah. Oh, what a dream job. I want that. Yeah, it really is fun. You should come on. I need someone to fill in for her for a couple days. Stop. Don't even tempt me with a good time.

Yeah, that would be fun. I would be so honored. That would be really fun. I'm like sweaty now. I'm like, yeah, that would be fun. It's just hitting me now because she's filming something. But fortune's my best friend.

She's my best friend. Okay, so tiny bowl of oatmeal. Tiny bowl of that. Grinola and blueberries. Granola and blueberries. And then, oh, I had tuna fish. I had tuna on a. Risky.

On a English muffin. Like a small little. Like from a camp. It was risky. And I was thinking it. about you when I was making it because I'm like, who goes to like talk across a table from somebody?

You don't smell like tuna. With smelling like tuna. But I just think it's risky because can't tuna, that's brave. Yeah. It's not that brave. It's all. I don't have reflux.

Jade, I don't have your broken body. I can handle a little tuna in the can. Oh, last question. Yeah. When the very start of the show, you talk about how I can literally in the beginning of the pilot episode, you say something like,

you can call me Jada? Jaded. Oh, jaded. Yeah. See, I didn't... Wow. That line didn't make sense to me, too, but I just said it because it's the name of my special. So I was like, I'm gonna go for it.

Oh. You can call me jaded. Like, I'm sick of it. Jaded. I thought you were saying a joke on Jada or something. That's what everybody... I did a table read this morning. Uh-huh.

Kind of did bad on it. Not gonna lie. And they were like, Jada's here playing... And I was like, ooh. I don't know. It's too late to correct them. So I just went with it. Yeah.

That's like when people will call me Papa. Papa. Yeah, Tom Papa. I'd say it sometimes like that just because my accent. Yeah, my accent. My boyfriend's roommate in college, his roommate's name was Tom Pappas. Oh, really? Yeah. The Greek version.

Oh, is that the, is that what it is? Yeah. P-A-P-P-A-S is Greek. Wow. Yeah. Papa P-A-P-A is Italian. Papa P-A-P-A. Grazie me. Is this your own wine?

No. Wouldn't that be cool if he did your own? Yes. Not to put that in your head, but that would be cool. And then you could sell it through the podcast. You know what? People could subscribe to it. It doesn't work out with your boyfriend.

Would you like to go into business? Would you be life partner with me in any capacity? I actually really like that. I love doing stuff. I love being two peas in a pot. Yeah. That would be amazing. Yeah, that's really smart.

And you could do a box wine, like a skinny box wine. And it could even be in like the brady looking box. Well, you lost me at box, but I'm like everything else that you said. No, there's a lot of really good wineries and like Pussarobis are doing box wines. And they're in, hubba hubba is doing. Why they do them box? Because it's just, it's more eco-friendly. There is a thing about cork is almost expired.

Yeah. In the bottle. Cork is almost expired. It's almost out of the country forever. I know. But there's something to twisting off that really is, still upsets me. What? To twist off a thing.

They're for picnics and synospite. Sinespia. Sinespias. When you go to like the, the, never mind. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you so much for having me. You're going to get a season two. You have to have a season two.

All the knocks on all the places. Right. You're so funny. You're great. I feel like I'm on the set of Sullivan and son. I love it. Thank you. You remember that show?

I do. I was pretty girl number three. You were? Literally. It's okay. My first role was boyfriend. Boyfriend? What was the show?

Oh, yeah, what's your first show? We'll go up. It was analyzed that, which was Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal. That was your first job? Stop. My first one. And the audition was with Robert De Niro. The callback was with Robert De Niro.

Where was it? I came in there like, you're just going to read with Bobby? And I'm like, okay, it was Harold Ramos was the director. So I was already nervous about that. And then I walked in and I didn't realize, oh, Bobby is Bobby. Bobby Lee walks in. You're like, oh, okay. Yeah, and it's Robert De Niro.

Yeah, so I played boyfriend. we had a scene together and I was buying a ring from him. That should have a name. You're auditioning with the guy who's like the main. Yeah. I should have a name. Like not even a Tito or like a John. Right.

No. Yeah. So I was boyfriend. But I'll take it. Hey, it's gone up from there. So where are you going to be? What are your dates? What do you mean?

Stand up wise? Yeah. I'm going to go to the store tomorrow. But what are your road dates? I'm shooting my Netflix special on October 1st of Wilbur. Oh, my God. God. Oh my gosh. So I'm doing like a run of like clubs and I want to come to yeah you want to come October 1st. I do want to come and you guys are you selling tickets

or can people come yeah guys buy tickets that's so exciting yeah it's going to be good. Is this your first Netflix special or second? Third. Okay what I watched one you have somewhere else though. I have one uh yeah comedies oh okay Amazon I was going to say Comedy Central but yeah yeah I had those too. Have you forgotten all your specials are? I'm in how many specials? I've been telling jokes a lot. This is inspiring for me. Yeah, for a long time. You don't remember how many sets you've done,

like how many late night sets you've, your first thing was with Robert De Niro? You know I? Over and next. Good or bad. Right? What's next? Got it, Aaron.

All right, kids, that's the big show. Jade Catapreda. Such a delight. Go watch your show, hotties. Thank you for being here. Go to tompapa.com. Look up all of my shows. As you know, there may be a couple tickets left on October 1st.

I'm shooting my Netflix special at the Wilbur Theater in Boston. And between now in October, I'm going to be a whole bunch of places, Salt Lake City, Arizona, Honolulu, Hawaii. I will be in California. I have a whole bunch of run of shows in Texas and the Count Basie Theater in New Jersey. A whole bunch of shows. Go to Tompapa.com. Look it all up. Thank you so much for listening.

Thank you to Thrive Market. And we'll see you next time.