Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 128 - Tommy Johnagin

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

I use bread to lure the hilarious Tommy Johnagin back to the road. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey! sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I'm Tom Papa. Thank you so much for being here. We've got a good one today. This is really fun for me because I get to touch base, somewhat reunite with a great comedian Tommy Johnigan. He is a a super funny comic and he, super smart, super great joke writer doing stand-up a long time, and then went off into TV land for a bit and dialed back some of the stand-up.

And then you add the pandemic. He had a couple of years there. So I'm not running into him at the clubs and I'm not running into him in the COVID countryside. So to be able to sit down with him today is going to be great. going to drag him out of whatever he's doing and make him return to stand-up comedy. So we can all just laugh more. He's so great. I hope you're doing well.

I have been on the road way too much. The shows have been great, but I've had weird things in between that have extended my journeys and my family is not too sure who I am. and my, even my dog was like, are you the guy that's normally in that office? They didn't even, well, you know, it's, you know, it's been a long time when dogs are, are not that excited when you walk in the door. So, all this is, all this is being said, I have not, I have not cooked, I have not baked. I have not done anything. And I'm feeling like I'm neglecting that part of myself because it is the weather's changing. It feels like I should be baking more than ever. And there's no end in sight.

So I literally had to call home and ask them to feed my starters to keep it alive. And I just found out they did not. So I'm not even sure what's waiting for me. I just flew in front. I just flew in from Vegas to here, so I'm not even sure if they survived. It's hard to kill a sourdose starter. You can pretty much, I'm sure I've talked about this a thousand times, but if you neglect it, it forms alcohol on the top. And old-timey, desperate people would call it hooch and actually drink it because it can mess you up, a little liquid on top. You dump that and start stirring it around, you can revive starter pretty easily. It has to be really, but it can get pretty skanky and pretty funky and it needs nursing. And guess what? I'm going back on the road again.

I've got some big shows. Go to Tompapa.com. Look up my shows. I'm coming to Albany at the egg. I'm also going to the Count Basie Theater in November. This is November 11th and 12th. and those are two big shows that I definitely want you to come to. I'm also doing a bunch of shows in Florida, Fort Lauderdale and Orlando. I think those might be near sold out. San Francisco will be over by the time this airs. A bunch of shows still coming up up through Thanksgiving, and then we're off into the new year.

So we're putting a bunch of shows on sale for the new year. I've got to come up with a name for the tour. Joey, Joey is my trusty sidekick. Right now on our tour, we have, I think, three different names of the tour. People say,

A Great Day, the greatest day, the family reunion tour, and the Tompapa 2022 tour. It's really a mess. We've got to really dial it in and do something.

It's ridiculous. People are all confused what the hell we're selling. All right, we'll work on it. So like I said, I couldn't get bread for this interview, but I got some bread from my trusty friends at Lodge Bread here in California in Los Angeles, Culver City. So I'm going to give some bread to my good friend Tommy Johnigan. Enjoy the show. Nice to see you, Tommy.

Nice to see you, buddy. I know. It's been a beat. It feels like it's been along forever. Yeah. Because there was also a pandemic. in the middle. I don't know what you're talking about.

We're traditionally people that see each other every few years, and then when you add two of that. I normally bake bread for my guess, but I was in Las Vegas last night. Oh, they don't have ovens there? I should have just taken it. So this is one of my favorite breads in Los Angeles. Oh, this is exciting. This is the guys from Lodge Bread. They've been on the program, and you can open it up and smell.

This is a good bread. You and your family will love it. This is an olive loaf. I've never had an olive loaf. When you said olive, I assumed olive oil. No, it's got olives baked in it. It's so good. My recommendation is a little cream cheese.

Toast that with a little cream cheese. This is the best looking bread I've ever seen. Yeah. Mine look pretty close to that. I won't know. When you come back, I'll get you a bread. You don't have to come on the podcast. I will get you a bread.

all have to find in my real life now. There's a website's on there. They're amazing. They really are great. So yeah. Do you leave that there? What's the aesthetics here now? Yeah, leave it there.

Some people have like started eating the bread on air and they look desperate. Yeah, I don't know that move. I don't like, also we just have a thing where people are like, let's meet for lunch. I don't like kind of eating in having a conversation in general. Foods falling out of people's mouths. People get very angry during the podcast when they hear chewing. Oh, I would be one of those. It's like that, what is that, the ASM?

Yeah, SMR. Yeah, ATM. That's something way different. But I don't enjoy the sounds of lips and smacking. Yeah. You see, we were playing that on the radio show about how The Bachelor is like really miced up the making out. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, it's so gross. That's gross. Even that. Kind of gave me goosebumps. It's really so disgusting. Yeah, so you don't have to eat it on. But it will, that bread will last you the rest of the week for sure.

Really? Yeah. And you said toasted. I'm going to get back to this. Toast it. And also just toss a towel over it at night. You can leave it out. What's the thing?

Can I ask a bread question here? Sure. What if you like a bread warm but not toasted? Is that an oven situation? How do you do it without ruining it? It's an oven situation. I would just toast it lightly. Yeah, all right.

I mean, you could stick the whole loaf in to the oven at like 200 just for like five minutes. All right. And I'll try different versions. Yeah. Yeah, just go out of it. What have you eaten today? I had a Coya plant-based protein shake. Oh.

It's a brand that I found through this person. I mean, well, I gained weight during COVID. Right. And I've gained weight just like touring. you gotta go, I don't know how your life, I've always been like up and down. And then I get up and I go, I'm just gonna lose weight. And so I got up and I was like, I'm gonna lose weight. And it didn't work for the first time of my life, just doing what I've always done.

And then also I was like, I feel bad always. So I saw a nutritionist and she gave me like a whole list of things. What kind of bad? I felt like sick a lot, but not like actually go to the doctor. Just kind of like my body's dragging. Yeah. felt like mental, foggy. I didn't have COVID or anything, but it was just like, I felt slow and sluggish and kind of low energy.

And then when I would eat, no matter what it would be, I would just have this crash after. Right. And I'm like kind of, at the time we were always on a Zoom, like in a writer's room on a Zoom. And I had to just not eat food until 3 p.m. or so because I was like, my brain shuts down. Right. So I saw this nutritionist and she gave me much tips. And one of them was eat more fiber. And this drink is great.

Koya. Yeah. And I don't know, I mean, I don't know if they're going to be around. You know, sometimes drinks pop up and they go away. Yeah, it's true. I'll just gain 40 pounds as they do because I really count on them. It's a very filling little protein shake. Oh, that's good. I had a little experiment today where I flew back from Vegas this morning at like seven. Oh, really? Yeah. And then had to go right to my house to do my radio show. And so I haven't eaten. And then I don't know if this happens with you. when you go on the road, I go on the road and my family just kind of lives like raccoons. They turn into like raccoons. I didn't realize like I'm the voice of reason when it comes to food. Oh. Like you shouldn't eat candy for breakfast. Yeah.

Has to be said by somebody. Someone's got to declare it in a place filled with no adults. And so I went into the kitchen on a break. And the only thing that was in there was like candy. Like they went Halloween crazy. Yeah. And I got a Reese's take five. It's kind of like a crunchy Reese's bar.

I haven't had one of those in a long time. Pretty damn good. And I said to myself, well, let's see how this goes. Let's see what happens if you eat a candy bar. If the only thing you've eaten in the day is a candy bar. And not good. Shut down. Yeah.

Your body just doesn't enjoy doing that. Your eyelids just start closing after 20 minutes. I like these. show you. I'm not on some kind of diet, but it is something that like on the run, I also was like kind of, I don't know what the rest of the day looks like. So I'll just grab one of those and then these bars where it's kind of like a, some kind of, it's like a Nugo bar or whatever. It's like just peanuts. Yeah. No sugar. And just something like that to get me through because what I found is like there's a lot of in-betweens or I get super hungry and then I go and I eat way too much

for like a lunch. Because my kids are in school during the day. Right. So sometimes you just have the freedom and you're like, I'll go to this Italian place by myself and then just eat a huge thing of pasta. And I'm like, what, I have a life to live after this happened. I know. I'm literally going up to San Francisco this weekend.

And last time I was there, around the corner from Cobbs Comedy Club, is this, they say it's the oldest Italian restaurant in America, I think. I didn't know what you're talking about. I think I went there. It was like a cool little bar. Yeah. And last time I was there, same thing. I just rolled in at like one by myself.

And I was like, I'm just going to eat like a gentleman. And I sat at the nice white tablecloth and I had a glass of wine, had a big plate of pasta, not even thinking, you have a work to do. You have a show to do. At 7 o'clock, I went back to the room and just passed out. Yeah. You can't be doing that.

I did that once in Minneapolis. There was like a steak place near Acme. And it was college. football Saturday I went with my buddy. And it was the same thing. It's like two glasses of wine and then a huge steak. And then by the time I had slept and everything. But when the show came around, I was still like, I don't know.

I wish I was not here to do this. Like if I just flew to Minneapolis to have the steak, it would be a fine trip. But now I feel bad that there's people expecting something. Well, that's the hardest part. Whenever you say you're going somewhere and people are like, oh, you're going to, you're going to Dallas, you've got to have the barbecue. You're going to this place, you got to have the, yeah, if I had an extra day where I'm not doing anything, I'd love to go on a food tour. You never hear, you got to have the chicken tenders from the comedy club, but that's something

you have every city. It's just like, you got to have a basket of fries at midnight at the comedy club. Now, you, you, this is my, this is what's in my head about, about you comedically. going along super funny everybody loves you of course and then you were touring and stuff then you started you slid into television for a beat started doing some shows uh developing some shows and then um i'm now emerging back more into comedy not really emerging back more i basically was like touring um for you know 16 or 18 years.

Yeah. And I started at 18. So when I did it, it was very much, I think I went full time at 19. I was doing 50 weeks a year. And I just did that. I just did that until I was in my 30s. And then throughout that, I was kind of developing,

you know, when you're a touring comic, you sell a pilot here and then you write it. And then someone that you've never talked to calls and is like, I wish we could do this, but we can't. I know that by you calling, me that this isn't happening. But so I was developing and then I shot a pilot that I was in and just really enjoyed the writing of it. Right. And at the same time, like a couple things are happening. One, my youngest daughter was six months old and my oldest daughter was like three and a half.

And she was at the age where I would pack a suitcase and she would get bummed. And then I would get bummed. And then one of these pilots I had developed the showrunners for a different, like they had a show picked up and they were like, would you like to write? So I just went hard into, I'm going to be writer and I'm going to be home. I think there's you know everybody has their own background but I just had such a specifically unique thing where I my dad was a truck driver when I was a kid. Oh really? And just on my end I was like I feel like I'm a truck driver now and then I'm thinking about like there's a lot of things that I'm bummed out about now as an adult that part of me is like it's because my dad was a truck driver and I was like I don't know if I want that but how hard was he how hard on the road? He was gone

And he was gone constantly. Like when I would go visit him in the summers, we would just be in the truck for three months over the summer. It was a lot of great experiences. Yeah. And I know like also, you know, he's probably doing all he could do to be a dad. My parents are divorced. And then there's a lot of truck drivers and comedians that are great parents.

Right. But I was just carrying so much of this own stuff where I was like, I think I could do this writing thing. And I wrote on a show that went for four seasons and then kind of climbed the ranks a bit. And then got another show after that and another show after. and just kind of been consistently working in a writer's room, which I'm really grateful for for, like, the last seven years and also selling pilots kind of hoping to get my own show.

Yeah. And then just recently, I started trying to get back into doing stand-up in town to have that, like, balance. Right, yeah. To me, the stand-up was always, you're gone 50 weeks a year. Yeah. But then I realized, I was like, I can also, I love it. Yeah.

I can still do it at night after I put my kids to bed. Right. In the town I live in, which is one of the best comedy cities. Why am I just ignoring it? Why am I going to happen? I just don't want to do it unless I'm writing. Yeah. I feel like anytime I'm on stage or anybody's on stage, you're like you're taking a

spot that I feel like you had to do something to earn it where there's times where, you know, somebody at a club is like, come to a set. And I'm like, well, haven't written anything in three months. So I don't know. Yeah, I know. Do somebody that's trying. Yeah. Right.

Exactly. I did the, I was at the seller the other night. and I was like, I had nothing, you know. Like, I just taped this special like two weeks ago. So it's time to move forward and do some other stuff, but I haven't, I have nothing. So I did the Roy Scoville approach, which is just go up with nothing. Yeah. And don't, and just start, just see what's going to happen.

You didn't even have, like, thoughts? No, I had nothing. I really was, because I just had like a mental block. I was just like, I just like, I just, I. I've been carrying this set for, you know. That's great. And his thing is don't even use the crowd, but I use the crowd, like, just as a pop-off. Just to give a, yeah, just to give me some kind of spark to go somewhere.

And it was good. It was like, it kind of like kicked off the. And from that, you're getting something that you think, oh, this could be something that I don't have to engage the crowd with. This is now the seed of a bit or a story. Yeah. So let me ask you this, because this is. a thing I think about from time to time. And I've gone back and forth, you know, doing a show or being on the road. Sometimes, though, when you are in town working on a show, especially if

you're moving up in the ranks, you come home very late. Oh, yeah. It's almost like, yes, you're home and you're waking up and the kids know you're around. Yeah. But in a way, it's not like, Like when you come off the road, you know, dad's around night and day. I always looked at that where you're like, there's so much more when you're home, when you're touring and you're home, you're home. Yeah. And you don't miss a thing unless you are not invited. Like kids get to the age where it's like, no, no, you can't come. But I'm here.

No, no, no. I've got a preference. I've lucked out on like most of the shows that I've done have been, the hours were good. And then also doing it in Zoom. I started zooming from my backyard, smoking cigars during the day, and then my kids would come home and just like see, and then we'd just like be on the screen waving at people. But I had one where the hours started to get super late. It's like I loved the show and the people I worked with, but just thinking about it just on

the hours. Yeah. And I don't want to sound like ungrateful for a job. But that's the first time where I was like, so if my options are both including I don't see my kids very much. Yeah. I think I would rather, because I love stand-up. Yeah.

I won't be more in some ways because it's everything you think is funny gets its day in court. Right. You're not in a room where you're like, I think that's funny. And then just somebody goes, nah. And you're like, I feel like I've earned the right to prove it, right? Can we try it? Yeah. And then, you know, the developments of it, there's so many annoying things where the best thing just to stand-up is you do it and it's fun.

And if it's not good, then you'll know. You'll have, in seven days, you'll understand if that bit is good or not. Right. So the TV thing's got to be, it's got to fit your schedule and be what you give you the life balance that you're, that you want. You're not just going to go slam on something. I would, I would not want to, it would not be as an enjoyable because the tradeoff to me was I'm not doing stand up and I'm going to see my kids. Right. And then you get to the point, you're writing until like two in the morning and then you wake up for breakfast and it's like everything you can do to be someone that people want to be around. Right. Like I left it and I was like, I think we went to like couples therapy partly because I was like, everyone hates me, right?

Like I'm just unpleasant. Oh, really? Because I'm so tired. Yeah. I remember Greg Fitzsimmons talking about how he would, uh, sleep in like on school days. Like he wouldn't he would. Because he was up so late. Because he was up late.

Yeah. Working on whatever. And, um, I don't know if it was stand up or working on a show. You know, he does both also, but. And I was. like I never did that. I never slept in. If I heard the kids puttering around, yeah, regardless of when I got home or whatever, I would get up and just wander into the kitchen like a bear, you know? Yeah. Just like, ah, just because if I heard them skittering around,

I had to at least check in, yeah. You want to be, like in the attendance, you want to be counted as present. Right. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I may not have the best day. It's like, here. Yeah. I'm the same way. The alarm, I remember, like, coming home late from writing on a thing or when I was doing more stand-up in town, just coming home from those shows and just, like, setting the alarm before I go to bed. Right. And just, like, this is the reality. Yeah, I know.

And I remember, like, sitting on the steps once at the Laugh Factory and looking at the other comics and knowing their lifestyle. And it was, like, you know, they single, you know. Yeah. At a 10 o'clock show, they've probably been up for. maybe six hours. And I had been up since six in the morning, like going the whole way. And I was thinking,

we should really be graded on a curve. Like, we have to do so much more. Also, when someone comes in, I was at the, I've only done sets at the Laugh Factory twice. And I would say mostly pleasant,

but like each time something not great happened where it was this thing like you were on a show. Yeah. I was up next. And then a comic comes in. That is like, I don't think is completely a nice person and does the thing where it's like,

I want to go on now, and they're at the point where they can. And I, they say to the manager, and I go, hey, I'm next. I'll just do five minutes. Right. Do you mind if I go now and doesn't even look at me. He just stays with the manager,

and he's like, I want to go on next. And I was like, I don't even, I go, I'm trying to get in my mind because it's also a comic that could go two hours. Right. I was like, just, I'll do three minutes. And then I get to a point where I was like, I don't even want to go up. Yeah.

And I stayed and I watched this dude do an hour. And when you first went up, the crowd was so great. And then he first, he went up and he did an hour. And then it became like 45 minutes of meandering and kind of just ruined them. And I went on stage and I do like my first bit. And I was just like, you know what? I don't want to be here. I want, you guys were so great.

It's not your fault. I have been wanting to go home for over an hour. And I'm just going to do it. And I left stage in like 90 seconds. Wow. I can't believe you stayed. I was out of this thing where you're just like, is it, it's going to end soon? They're going to get better.

Right. And then kind of that way. You don't know he's going to do an hour. Yeah. When is this happening? I got to a thing in the same place where if, because you're on this schedule, you're a dad and you working your ass off and you don't show up to those sets lazily either. You know exactly what you're going to do.

You're not wasting time. You're there to. get a job done. I'm working. Work on this stuff. And they, if anybody would come and, like, bump the show,

even if, like, it wasn't bumping me. It wasn't personal. Just, like stagger. Yeah, like, two in front of me. And all of a sudden, they show up and they're going to just go on

and bump everybody. How about call? How about call and let everybody know? So, you know what I mean? I don't care how big you are. Just let them know. I've heard Ray Romano still calls. Yeah.

Like, all kinds of comics. We'll just call and put it in the veils. Or, like, you know, Seinfeld will come, and do 20 minutes, you know, fine. I would just walk out. You would leave instead of being, that's great. Do you tell someone or do you just leave?

All right, good night. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are they going on? Yeah. All right, good night. And just get my car and go home. That's great. Yeah, there's no way I'm sticking around out.

It's way better than going up and just letting a crowd know you're furious and then leaving, which is my approach. That's a better story. Yeah, I don't think I built a fan base that night. It's a better story. Yeah, Laugh Factory has a weird mojo to it. What's your life like you just recorded a special and you went up? Are you now like in this, I got to do a bunch of sets in town to build up or do you go on the road and build it before the special comes out?

I like building, yeah, like it's going to come out in December. So you get a couple months to get some. Just get some chunks. Yeah. Like I'm going to be at Cobbs this weekend. Yeah. And back to that. So all I'm thinking about is.

that Italian restaurant. Like, I'm going to go up there this weekend. And I'm like, I really want to go back and eat like that, knowing it's the total wrong move. But I'm psyched to go do like five shows where I can just like, you know, open up and screw around. Because I'm not in the mindset that you have to like throw everything out immediately. And I still am very much trying to please everybody when I'm there,

especially in a theater. Like the idea of just screwing around. I was just in this theater and there was a comic who we know was there the night before and a very funny guy but they said he did two hours and

there's unions involved and babysitters to be paid what are we doing and was like doing stuff but then like trying things out that like wouldn't work but like playing around I do not have that ability in my head to be in a theater

where people coming to see you. Yeah. I would be panicking. Like, oh, they're never coming back when I come through. But there's growth that can be had in that, right? Like, if you're doing, you know, an hour, hour, hour and 15 at the theater, if you do three new things, you feel like, man, I've moved forward and everyone's still had a great time. And they may not even have noticed that I snuck one in. But if you're doing it and it's two hours and people are talking about it the next week. And you're telling them after 15 minutes. Sorry, that was a new thing. Like, oh, man.

I paid $70. Right. To be. Yeah, and parked. Oh, my God. I know. I don't have. So I can't do it there.

So I try to do local and try and use those sets to at least get me some basis of something. It won't be finished, but then I can at least put it in line up next time I'm in a bigger shit. And then when the thing comes out in December, use a couple good chunks of new stuff. Yeah. And everyone's happy. Yeah. And if I can hustle up, you know, maybe get a little bit more.

But, you know, there's that thing. Sometimes they want to see you do something live. You know, that even though they know it or saw it, they haven't been in the room with you doing it. The whole, like, throw your material out after a special. Yeah. It's never, I've never, that wasn't an audience vote. There was comedians being like, I'm going to do a thing. You know what I mean?

It's like when you walk into a gym and someone's like, I'm going to bench press 500 pounds. But it's like nobody asked you to. Just get in shape. We're all just trying to live longer. But the whole thing, I looked at it. I remember John Panette was super nice to me when I was younger and he brought me on the road of it. Oh, yeah. And I was like always in, you know, you always have to worry about something.

Yeah. You're like, what's going to be the thing? Yeah. But that's going to make me not able to do this again. I'm going to repeat a joke and they're going to say, you've got to get out of town. And he said, and he was some of that. Like, I worked with them in theaters and clubs. had such a loyal audience and the thing.

And he was like, when you release the special, the next time you come back to the city that you did it live in, like not even disregarding the special. Like the special is a commercial. He's like, just have, if you have 25 new minutes, they think it's a whole new hour. If you have 20 minutes, they think it's a whole new hour.

And then because probably the 45 you're keeping is some of their favorite stuff that they've never seen live anyway. Right, right. That's a great way to think of it. I never liked the pressure of, that. And there's also a very funny thing of just, I don't know if it's stand-up specific or just people where it's like, well, I did the special and obviously everybody has seen it. All of the people have seen all of my stuff now. I mean, if there was one person left that hadn't seen

my body of work, I could repeat a material. I know. I remember Seinfeld said that to me once we were having this discussion. He goes, these people who think that everyone's seen your shit, how arrogant are you? It's crazy. I mean, he's the biggest thing there is, you know? And he's like, they haven't seen my shit. How big do you think you are? I posted it on Instagram, so it's dead.

I burned it. 15,000 people saw it in a real. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and half of them saw it twice. Yeah. Yeah. I like the, I never got, I got to a place where when I was touring, I was doing some theaters. Yeah.

But like, sell, like few, mostly clubs. And then it was kind of like, I was. was feeling the ticket sale, like it was kind of becoming more my audience in the clubs. Yeah. But even then, I just lost the tolerance for bad, just like disrespectful drunks and things, like, which I think kind of you weed out a big chunk of those when you're doing a theater of any size. 100%.

But I got to the last six months I was touring, I didn't even know that I was going to start writing on shows. Yeah. I was just in, there was a possibility I was going to do it forever where I was kicking. people out from stage once a week. And just it was the whole like sometimes the staff was great and they'd escort them out. And sometimes I'd get like people throwing their hands up. And I'm like, this is, I get that you're confused, but the show doesn't continue with them in here.

We can all make a choice. And it became so I would get like too mad and too. I need a break at minimum. Burning out. Yeah. Yeah. It's a long time to do. It's like 16, 18 years doing clubs that much.

That's a lot. It's a lot. And it is a hornet's nest. A club is a hornet's nest. You just, and alcohol is a huge part of it. It's just, you know, booze is, it has an impact on people. Does the seller have a max, like a two drink maximum?

I don't think so. But they will flag you, like if, if they see them like starting. They don't let people get too crazy. Yeah. There's some clubs. I mean, it really is like there's not enough clubs that are great that you could only do them. and make a living if you're not, if you're just doing clubs. It's a handful.

But it's, you know, if you could just do Acme and comedy works and, you know, I call it's funny, but I think Shroop does a good job there. It's like, there's so many clubs that just do it like they're doing. I know. It just, yeah, it's like a, yeah, it's a, it's, wherever, wherever you go and there's like the owners involved, you're going to, you know, you're going to be good hands, you know? The first headline, the first headlining week I ever had was, um, I mean, I, I,

I think I was probably like 22 years old. Wow. And I'm like, well, I'm headlining now. I should wear a suit so people take me seriously because I look very young. And it was, I think it was called the Baltimore Comedy Factory. And I show up, I'm in a suit. And the first thing I hear is I walk in and they don't even look at me. They just go, it's $17 all you can drink.

And I'm like, wait a second, I'm not paying, but what is the deal here? And the ticket, I'm like, how is this legal? It was literally all you. can drink once you pay to see the show. Oh my God. And it was one of they they, they remember like they exit through a fire escape and I'd heard a story of Roseanne Barr doing, I like to pattern a lot of my life after Roseanne, but she had bombed at Bears Place in Bloomington, Indiana. And she like stood by the door and like looked everyone in the eye. And I had this moment where I was like, I'm going to look all these people in the eye. And then I stand, but I'm in like a fire escape

clangy metal stairway just in a suit. It looked like I just work. I'm like a bum. I'm like a butler all of a sudden. It was the hardest. And then I was like, I'm not, I don't know if there's other factories, but like, you have to lay some people off because I'm not going to keep doing this. I didn't realize you started so young. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I knew that I wanted to do it at such a young age that it was just like one time, uh, I was also like I treated it since I was seven years old. It was all from Letterman. Yeah. I was watching Letterman. I told the story. I bored people of the story, but I love Letterman so much. And it was. At some point he's going to listen to a podcast.

But my stepdad, I was living in Illinois, and I was obsessed with Letterman. My step, he goes, oh, he's from Indiana, which is basically Illinois. Yeah. And he goes, he started as a stand-up. And I had no idea. I'd never watch stand-up. I didn't know you could make a living at it. And I was just like, oh, I'll do stand-up.

I mean, I'm almost Letterman right now. I'm from the Midwest. All I'm missing is stand-up. Yeah. So from like seven, I would just tell people I'm going to be a comedian. My mom would tell people. and then one day I was at the gym in my hometown. And there's this guy there that his nickname is Curley

because he's covered in Three Stooges tattoos. Like he's been on TLC level of tattoos. And he was always really nice to me. And he's like, I'm doing stand-up. You want to come and I was 18. And he just, my first ever stand-up that I'd ever seen was a live open mic at the Fairview Heights Comedy, etc. club in the Ramada Inn.

And Curley was doing a second. And he did a set, very different act than mine. His tattoos came up, I bet. And then the next show I saw, I did. Wow. Even when I was coming up, I never had an influence. Every time I did a show, it was like multiplying the amount of comedy I had seen. I had no idea what I was doing.

But were you digesting it on television and stuff? No. I didn't see any really stand up until after I'd been doing it a few years, I started watching. I remember like Brian Regan's, um, Comedy Central Presents. I think it came out in like 99-ish, 2000 or something, but I remember that being like one of the first Eddie Gosling's thing. I think you did a Comedy Central Presents early on that I saw.

It was like a big thing. So when you were a young, when you were eight years old smoking a cigarette at cocktail parties telling people you're going to be a comedian, you weren't even checking comedy out? I didn't know what it meant. It was just you and Letterman. I was like, I'll just do it and be Letterman. Someone has to do it when he's done, right? That's great.

And it was really insane. I think a big part of it, which is kind of I take a little bit of this when I parent my own kids, where no one was like, how do you do that? Or how do you make money? They just treated it like a fact. So like when my daughter who's in gymnastics is like, I'm going to make the Olympics. I'm just like, all right, well, the first one you qualify for is 2028 by age. She's going to like, I just like, I go, I told people I wanted to be a comedian. And I started with a guy covered in three stooges tattoos.

Who knows how things work out? We're not all Simone Biles. It's so funny. Yeah, it's, I, uh, I never, I had never been in a comedy club, but I did, I was watching all the comedy I could. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I was very keenly focused in on what they were, but I'd never, did you feel like that bled into when you started, were you doing someone?

Um, yeah, kind of. I don't know, somewhat. Front of the influence. I had a trench coat, so I thought I was Sam Kinnison for a little bit. Yeah, I was. I was heavier and I had long, curly hair. And I was just all energy. Oh, can that picture?

There's there a picture of this somewhere? There's a, there's a video. There's a VHS tape of it. My wife calls it the tape of my crazy brother doing comedy. Because it looked like. Like my face is in there. But it's all you can see it. I was lunging a lot and just going really fast.

Is this funny when you look? Crazy. I watched the one that like Chris Rocks Bring the Pain. Yeah. And then like those were the first because I started so young. I was still like living at home and we couldn't, we didn't have HBO. Like I was like only like I was still like my mom doesn't allow me to watch R rating. So I saw Bring the Pain and it like it blew my mind.

Yeah. And then I saw bigger and blacker and I was like, how can you do? that when the expectation, I thought bigger and blacker is like, the expectation that you set was bring the pain. Bigger and blacker, people should be like, well, that's not very good. And it just was mind-blowing. Yeah. And then seeing prior and having this thing of like seeing like Chris Rock and Richard Pryor who were like nothing like me. Right. I was like, I didn't lean into any of that. But then at one point I saw like Brian Regan and then Mitch Hedberg and like it felt like, oh, I could, I'm like mimicking that on accident. Yeah, that's closer to me. Yeah.

Where it's just the energy of my, and at one point I was very like monotone in delivery, kind of like Mitch Hedberg-esque, but I started that Regan walk where I'm just kind of taking these wide steps and side pacing. And then I remember I was somewhere in Iowa and I'm doing this like, the act, the sound doesn't match what you're seeing, but I was like, this feels like my zone. And I just hear a woman in the front row go, why is he? walking like that, which is like a mean thing. What if there was a problem? I know there wasn't, but like you can't ask that question. What's he doing? So as soon as she did it, it's like a video of like evolution. I just like went upright and became like straight up. I stopped walking like

that. And then that was like a couple years of standing there still. That's a cool moment though. because then you're like, then you're, it's all about the material. Like you start to like, you realize these embellishments maybe aren't necessary. And I, your writing gets better.

That's what I felt like, the writing of, that was always to me, I'm like, I'm a writer more than a performer, which is what I meant by, I'm not like Chris Rock and prior because they felt like very,

it seems like odd that I'm like, I'm not like them and I just listed two black guys. Then I said, I'm more like them. and listed two white guys. Right. So that's just pinging around on my head right now.

I just meant like the confidence of those people. Yeah. But you're in a safe space. This is all about comedy. I knew exactly what you were saying. I remember like I met Brian Regan at, it was like 2006.

I'd been doing it a minute. Joe Bolster introduced us. And Brian Regan at the time I was, I would be nervous right now. But in that moment, there were so many comics that were just like all physical movement. It would be like that thing where you like got to a town and they'd be like, do you like Dane Cook? And it's like, that's how you divided comedy at the time.

Yeah. So I was like, oh, I really want Brian Regan to know that I'm a writer that I really focus on writing, which is unimportant when you meet someone in a green room. But I was like, if I say that, he'll probably go like, that's great. You should come on the road with me. Right. I mean, that's the natural progression of this meeting a stranger. So I go, we meet and almost right out the gate.

He was like, oh, you do stand up. He's the nicest guy. And I go, yeah, yeah. I go, I don't remember. really a big act out guy, which I didn't realize I'm like talking to a guy who does big act outs. Yeah. I was like, I'm not really a big act out guy. It's just like me and my pin up there. And there's a beat and he goes, what do you mean? You go up there and then he does the Brian Regan who he holds a fake pin. He goes, you're like, just like, oh, oh. And it was not mean,

but I was, everyone's like killing in the green room of him, which rightfully so. I said the dumbest thing you could possibly say. It's pretty bad. But then it led to like me standing by Joel Bolster watching Brian Regan talk to my girlfriend at the time. Like, they're both knee slapping, having the night that I wanted. And then Bolster's like, we're going to go to a restaurant or something afterwards. You want to come? And I was like, we have to go home. We had driven four hours to see the show.

We just drove back mad that I had. You could have sat with them. We were going to stay. I just left a state because I had ruined it. I was in some hotel in Northern California. And they had this weird cable system that had these strange comedy channels that I'd never seen before. I don't know if it was like a Roku or I don't know what it was. This is recent?

This is recent. Oh, I like this. This is like right after the pandemic. Like comedy.com or something. It's a couple of those. Yeah, like something like that. Yeah. And it was like I had no idea what they were.

But they were running all of the like the classic specials or JFLs or of like the Louis Anderson. Yeah. Paula Poundstone era, like the early 90s. Like they were all made, like late 80s early 90s. I know both of those. Yeah. And they were showing all of those types of acts that were hot at that time. And it was really cool to watch.

I just left it on. And even when I came back after the show, I was just watching them. And it was very cool to see because the styles, you know, changed a little bit. But watching how professional they were, like seeing Louis Anderson in a doing a, TV set and it's not going well. Oh. But you see him clock it, you can tell. Yeah.

And he gets out of it. Like, they're all so good. They were all so professional and really impressive to watch. But the one who just destroyed me and was like, wow, he's not so, he's powerful, he's expressive. And he's, the writing all of a sudden for the first time, I was like, the writing is so elegant. And I never really clocked that watching was Panette.

Oh, yeah. It was, like, I always knew him as like, you know, funny, but whatever, and he would kill. But that was the first time seeing him, like, in a lineup of these people. Yeah. Oh, I was missing the layers of. I had it. Because I think he, at least because working with him live, I had that kind of same moment live. And I think it may have been because I remember that old special.

bit or wherever you see like the buffet line the buffet bit yeah and i think i was just like that's the bit that's his bit that's the guy yeah he's that guy yeah and then i watched him in these clubs and theaters and it was just like so it was just like that thing where it was just that rhythm was just like pounding yeah and it was like you're saying it's so well written and he was insanely nice to me and it was like kind of sneaky nice where he was like you want to come on the road with me and open for me which you're like yeah it's great like the club pays a hundred dollars a night right and then all of a sudden it's like, you know, my business managers send him your flight information. He's paying for that.

And then here's way more money. Right. And here's take my hotel room. I'm going to get a better. It's like, right. And we went into a 7-Eleven one time and I bought like a ding-dong. And he's like, you're not paying for that. And I was like, I mean, at some point I don't have to pay for something, right?

That's great. I'd like to hear that. But he killed so hard in cards. It was crazy. Crazy. He really was so powerful. I just saw Joe List. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I saw him at the. Of course you. At the improv here, he was in town. And it's the first time I've been just strictly an audience member where it's not like I'm going to go up later or I'm going to go. And it's a headlining set. It's not like a short set.

It's one of the best shows I've ever seen. Wow. Just murdered it for the whole time. My face was hurting. I was just like, and then a check came. And I was like, I'm a good audience member. I just put my card down. I didn't like get.

Just doing math. You know what I mean? I felt like, oh, I was. What made you go, check of what made you go sit in the audience? Well, we're, but we've been buddies for years. And then we hung out that day and I guess he said he was coming down. It's like, we'll just go to the show. Yeah.

When you're saying like, what made you do it? Yeah. That's my mentality normally is like, why would I? What's the reason? Right. It's like, well, this guy you know and that's funny is doing a show. It's a weird switch though to like actually go like sitting. And I did, I went on the thing.

I bought tickets. Yeah. Which I don't even know the last time. I bought a ticket to a comedy show. Yeah. Like I saw Ryan Hamilton's full set at, he was like the Just for Last Festival, which was like so great. Yeah. But there was a moment where he's like, do you want to do, even just like saying, do you want to do time?

Yeah. Kind of made me be like, I'm not an audience member. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. I may go up there. Just leave me. Now it's in your head the whole time.

Because then, like, Ryan was killing. Yeah. And then Andy Woodhull opened for him. He murdered. And then you get that thing where you're just like, well, I wish I had. I wish I had gone up now. So that takes you out of being an audience member. Yeah.

If you purely go is just like... Yeah, buy the ticket. Yeah. Go in. Yeah. I'm here. I haven't seen Joe do a long set ever. It's really good.

He used to, when he was middling, he would come on the road with me a bunch. Oh, yeah. It was just like, he was so great. I think he talked about it was just like, he found another gear at some point. He was always like really funny. Yeah.

I think he kicked it in and, And maybe it's just like my style of, I just really enjoyed it. Right, right. Oh, that's great. It's crazy to not see full sets. I know. I have comics. I'm like, maybe I'll start doing that more.

Yeah, I mean, look to just how I was describing watching television. Like, I was like, I watched the whole thing. That's a big deal. Do you still, when you go, you're at the cellar, it's like some of the best comics in the country. Do you watch anybody? Yeah. Or do you still enjoy watching it? I do.

Yeah. And especially, especially. especially that place because everyone is so great and you just kind of and I'm not there all the time so like you come in and it's like you're almost taking stock of what's going on you know it's like oh right everybody's everybody's at this level throwing heat yeah it's crazy yeah where did you shoot your special uh the wilbur in boston oh nice yeah and uh i just did it a couple weeks ago and yeah it was great it was really fun it was a cool spot boston crowds are just great i've had some good stuff there where uh working with people where i did it once on my own or something and that place

is great yeah they also like it it's a place where it's comedy got i think they've built that place up as like the comedy audience 100 they know what they're doing and the marquee i was sitting there having breakfast the day of the show and they have the digital marquee just rotating and it's everyone, all of your friends, just going through. I think that was something that I missed a little bit when I, you know, just stopped touring six or seven years ago where not necessarily that place, but smaller theaters started being like, we can have comedy here. Yeah.

And I think that that's made things so much better where you don't have to go. Also, you go to a place and they're like, well, you have five shows and there's 600 seats. So we're going to need you to move a lot of tickets. Yeah, you've got to go depressed and you're like, wait. I know, the first time I added that up, I was like, wait, there were 2,000 people here. And you feel shitty because, like, they're half full. But it's over five days. So I feel like a failure when 2,000 people come.

But I could feel like I'm on top of the world if I go sell 320 tickets over here. Yeah. Why don't we do that more? How old are your kids now? They just had birthdays in September. They're 7 and 10. 7 and 10. And do you feel like it paid off being home?

I think it has. I mean, I don't know, you know, what they're going to be telling a therapist in 20 years. Yeah. But it paid off for me in a lot of ways. And I think that, like, just in the last year, because I got, I would do some clubs in town and stuff. But just here recently, it's been more of where I really missed stand up. And I also feel like, you know, I'm still that, I'm like seven years old saying this is all I want to do. Yeah.

Like that didn't go away. Yeah. And I don't feel like this like, all these damn kids. I got it. I made the choice. I enjoy it. I think it was better. But I do think that like I would love it if you just got rid of the bad audiences.

Yeah. And just getting back into it in town, I think is going to be my next move just to Yeah. Have that feeling. You're so good. I mean, you were like one of my favorite local people to see. And it was like when, and you know, we've had friends that do it. You know, Ian Edwards is a good example of it, you know, goes off and takes a writing gig,

but then freaks out and comes back to stand up. And the fan in me is like, yeah, come back. Come back and do more sets. I want to see you do more sets. I do this podcast called The Local News with a buddy, and it's like news that won't make you set. And it's kind of one of those things where we really like it and it's, you know, trying to do a thing. We do it all the time. And he's a comic, Alex Stone. And I feel like, for, a while that was kind of scratching the itch. That makes any sense where I would kind of get on there and I would like talk about these things in my life at the beginning and then vent, but never refining it and kind of.

Yeah. I also feel like. Yeah, that's the thing. You know, because this the way my act was or is, it's like very personal. Yeah. And, you know, I talked about like my marriage problems or my dad getting sick and dying. Yeah. And then I feel like I'm realizing now that like I think the outlet was very helpful.

Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. There's moments where I'm like, why am I so mad right now? A hundred percent. I was very conscious of that early on. Oh, that's great. Because I started stand-up, went for like a couple years, and quit, stopped for like a year and a half.

When was it? Like early on? Early on. Like 90. I started in 93. And probably like 94, 95. You know, you're not doing that many spots. But I, yeah, my girlfriend's father got sick.

and died. And I just felt like, oh, I got to be a grown-up. I can't. I got to stick with my job and forget that. And Greg Geraldo would call me every day. You're like, where are you, man? What's going on? Come back.

People are getting TV shows out here. Yeah, right? Yeah, exactly. But I remember, like, after six months or so, and I had only been doing it for, you know, you don't even do it every night at that point. You know, you're getting spots once in a while. But I was a comedian.

I felt like I had. I was there, and I stopped and just started working and hanging out with my friends. And I remember laying on my, I gained like 30 pounds. In the time off? Yeah. Yeah. Gained 30 pounds. Drinking, smoking weed, you know, not like the fun version, like just plowing it.

Just plowing it. And just laid on my sister's bed one day. And I said, am I even funny anymore? Am I even? Am I funny? all anymore. And I was feeling myself decaying because I wasn't doing it. I was like, I was going against my nature. And it was like, oh, no, I need this for so many reasons that I'm not even aware of. I'm just all of a sudden this fatso playing Sega Genesis. It does, it does feel like,

I can, I watched comedy and this and doing it on the, like, it's like, there's some people that are that where like that is who this person is. Like whether they're writing on a show or like laying other, like that is a comedian. And if you're not kind of fulfilling that or like being that, you're just like fully not being yourself all day long. Right. Which is a probably scary place to be.

It's like a place to be. So I went running back. So yeah, I would think that like you're writing and like you're doing your podcast, you get like you're scratching it. You're getting a little bit of it. but it's not the real thing. It's not that thing that you give back. And I don't want to risk, you know,

I have like shows I'm pitching and trying to sell. And I hope that like the shows come and the money comes with it. But I'm definitely, I'm like, I am way better at standup than anything I've ever done. I'm just not doing it right now. And then you go back and you're like, can I do it? Which there's this weird thing that happened completely separate from me

that I just kind of watched for a bit. When I started getting back into, it after I was on these writing staffs, I would go into comedy magic a lot. Yeah. And it was at that moment where you're like, kind of like what you said with Roy, but a little different where I was like, I had taken a three-year break. So like I have a story about my three-month-old daughter who now talks to me and like we hang out a bunch. And I feel like I'm not going to lie to these people. Yeah. So part of my thing, which I look at it differently than you're saying with Roy, like, I look at it as like, if I don't write, the punishment is being up there. And, and it's,

in feeling the silence of not having worked hard. Right. So I had like a bunch of, and I'm like, I'm going up, I'm just like, no, nothing I've ever done. I'm just going to go and see if I can do it again. Uh-huh. And at the same time, like Paul Reiser, I found it, he had taken like a 19 year break. Yeah.

And then he came back. And I was going there as he went from doing like five minutes to like 15 minutes. And I saw him do like a half hour in a few months. Yeah. And I was like, I think that he's just born a comedian. And if you are that. then it's never gone, even if you take a break. That's what I felt everyone learned from the pandemic was we were all forced to take a break

that no one would have taken otherwise. And I kept saying, after I went back and did my first set, I think it was to Salt Lake City and did like, you know, one of those 10 people in the show. You got to tell everyone it was sold out because they were only selling 20 tickets. And I remember calling my friends and me like, turns out, we're funny. Like, that doesn't go away. It didn't expire.

Yeah, right, exactly. You didn't turn into something else. There's so many people that are really good that are like, I got to do it tonight. If I don't do it, if I'm taking two days off, I'm so rusty. And it's like, I think of, I think the pandemic partially, like, a couple of those things is like, oh, you're funny. And then the other people were like, you may have like an unhealthy relationship

where it's like, I did a, yeah, I did a show where like talked in. to someone's feeding tube just because they were having people. We're like, whatever. Everybody was like the craziest. I would like bump into a comic and it would be like they're making up a sketch. But they're just describing a show they did because it's a drug. It is a drug. I remember seeing Mitch Hedberg at a club in New York at Stand Up New York.

And that was like everyone was psychotic. Like you had to do three sets a night. Yeah. You know, you had to. Oh, yeah. And I remember I'm going like one every other day is good for me. Yeah. And I was like, oh, really?

Really? So the best of us right now is saying I don't have to like, like this is good. I just did a set and I'll do it again on Thursday. When I moved out here, I'd been doing, I'd been doing it for a long time and had like a full road schedule. So on those days, I was, I'm like, I don't, I think I need to like live life. Right. Or like when I go to Des Moines, I'm going to be like, so is that the emperor of the other night. And it's like, I got to, something has to happen to me. You know what I mean? Like, I can't just, when I'm home. also only do stand-up. I just checked into the days in again. There's so many hotel bits where you're like, I feel like I got to live in a house.

I'm going to be with another human being. Yeah. I've been going so hard. And my wife called me the other night and said, I just want to ask, did you move out? Did you not tell me that you moved out? Just on the road? Yeah. It was just in certain things just extended.

And so it's, yeah, it's been really heavy. hear the store. Now I'm like, I want to see. I've never been inside the store. Really? Yeah, yeah. Wow. When I first moved here, it was run by a guy.

It was like a fraternity. It was so scary back then. And my friend was like, all you got to do is hang out every night for like a while. And then at some point I'll look at you. And what it was like, I'm like, I didn't. It was dark. They went through a dark period. I just never stepped foot in it.

Yeah. It's a weird spot. But now it's great. And, you know, it has been for years now. And that'll be the next ticket. I'll buy a ticket. Yeah. I'm going to be the guy.

I want to buy tickets to the shows. You're going to be like, why are you? Tommy John is here? Where is he? It's a thing where like I bought the ticket at the improv, but then I used my comedy clout to as just a comedian with no clout being like, I don't, not upfront. I like, right. I was like, I do not want to. Yeah, make eye contact with my friend. I can't be that guy. Hey, we just, just do it to me. That is the weirdest when you have like people in your life who want to do that. And you're like, how you ruined the hall show. It's so bad. It's really bad.

It's never gone well. Does your wife, is your wife still on television? She is. Yeah, yeah. She's, which job, she's on like the, she went to the producing side, at least for the time being. She, like, sold a show. It's supposed to be starting shooting soon. Oh, nice.

She went from the buyer to the seller side. What's been her, what's been her consultation for you, like, when you're doing television and doing all this stuff? Like, do you, uh, do you? what's what's what's what's what's been her advice or guidance of like we don't we haven't really talked about the one thing that has come up um I'm a real I'm a I'm a if we crack open I'll go so personal and deep and I don't mind it but I don't want to get too crazy but we did end up in couple therapy after this during this pandemic thing and and uh and I at one point I acknowledged which I don't think she had acknowledged and I may be wrong but I was like

Like we went, we had this like really good relationship for a long time. Yeah. And I was gone 300 days a year. Yeah. And then one day I was just like, guess who's here all the time? And we didn't do anything different. I just kind of never left again. And I was like, I think we're kind of feeling that.

Yeah. And it was very like we were good together. And I think in the independence of it wasn't me being like, what did you do today? Like whatever. Yeah. And then I just stopped. doing it. And we had the conversation of like, I think I want to transition writing so I can be home more. Yeah. She was like, great. Yeah. I think even in that conversation, she meant it, but no, neither of us

knew how it was going to go. Yeah, yeah. It's a big shift. I mean, I'm feeling that why my wife asked that is because we were home. Like last Halloween, I was home all of October, you know, and doing all the stuff, you know, and playing with the kids and doing all the whole thing. And now I'm just like out. And it's like, all right, we've got to strike. balance. Like, we got used to being around all the time and that was really fun and now I'm not home at all. You need like a kit.

Yeah. Like something like you come with you. Like here's the road kit and then I'm the home kit or whatever. Like some version of a. Yeah. Maybe even just acknowledging it. Just knowing, I think a big key was, I know this seems like a no brainer, but it was like she should be included in this decision.

Like when we're planning out January through. May, like, I shouldn't just be like with my agent just like, book it, book it, book it, all of them, right? It's hard to say no. So, but it's like just including your family. Yeah. The decision is like, our thing was also like, I, I, you know, I, this is the only thing I've ever done.

Yeah. So then I also had to get used to just being in a writer's room. And it was fun. Like, I would, I was like losing my mind over things that were just like regular parts of normal work. Like, I'm like, you. that we eat lunch at one I'm gonna eat when I'm hungry

like I couldn't handle like and also the idea that they're like be here at 10 and it's like 10. I'm like 10 05 10 to like what does it matter? Like I missed a story or a YouTube video I had to get used to like being a regular person and then also being in a room. Yeah.

Because I loved the fact that like being on the road you're just alone so much. I loved it. I really loved it. And then when I came in, it was also weird just on the relationship side of it. where normally you're in town, it's like, oh, I got a set tonight. Yeah.

That's what it would be like. But now that I'm in town all the time, I made friends. Right. And I have to be like, can I hang out of my friends tonight? It's like such a weird. I'm like, I'm an adult. I get that I have to let you know. Like, you got to watch the kids.

Yeah. I don't know how the, I've never got the balance of how to ask to hang out with my friends. No. To her. Yeah, there's no way. Like, yeah. Like, someone invited me to like go on like a golf weekend. And I was like, what?

I'm going to tell my wife, I'm going away again and not coming home with money. Like, why? I did it. I'm not allowed to go. I did a trip because I, for years, I can't, I've been off the road and I've just kind of never left. We've always, we've always been together. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And it's like, you know, it's like, it should be, it's like a comedy duo where there's a, there's like, the show's great. And then there's just like, there's a dark underbelly. It's like, what had started to. feel like. And I was like, I'm going to take a trip and you should take a trip. So that just got introduced into our lives. Like she went to Vegas for four days and that's cool. And it's just the idea of like, I think if we're going to be together all the time, we have to kind of take advantage of those things that people do. Yeah, there's a reason why they do those trips. Right.

Exactly. If we're going to be together forever, you should be allowed to have four days. It's a wild transition to go from. I was my, because you file your taxes, it's like, I remember every year just kind of knowing how many days I was gone. Yeah. And it was always around 300. Wow. And then. I've never added it up.

Oh. When people are like, so how many weeks are you out of year? No idea. Well, it's a little different, I guess if you, when you're doing theaters, you're not doing like a possible Tuesday through Sunday or Wednesday through Saturday. No, it's right. It's Friday, Saturday. So it's shorter, but.

Yeah. I just, yeah, I just don't like to add it up. is that what you do do the i remember jay johansson said at one point he does like two on and two off or three on and two on like he has like a thing like you were saying where like it's just understood that he never does more than three in a row or something yeah i don't have that i think i just that's wise i'm going to have that i'm definitely going to have that come yeah come thanksgiving well do you have right now because you have a special coming out.

Yeah. The holidays are also coming. Yeah. Have you just booked every week but the holidays to try to get the new chunks and stuff? No. I'm going heavy through Thanksgiving and then it's going to be, I'll be home. And then the store a bunch? Yeah.

Then I'll just do that stuff. You develop stuff a lot like in shorter sets or you go in longer sets. There's such a value to it. Sometimes I'll shit on it and be like, you know, I'm tired. I'm on the road. And then what are they? Yeah. You're only doing 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes.

and then you go and you're like, oh, this is so valuable. Yeah. Even like when I go back to New York and go to the cellar, it's like in two sets, I've done more work than I would out here in like a week, in two weeks. Oh, that's great. I mean, it's just so, yeah, you're just, the editing is so quick. The work you get done is so fast. I miss, like, I miss everything about it except the bad crowds.

Yeah. But one of the things is when you, you like, come back and, And you've done 10 or 12 minutes. Yeah. And when you listen to it, it was basically a bomb. But the new thing worked. And you cut a line. You're like, oh, what a great night.

Yeah, right. Exactly. I'm a comedian tomorrow because of this. Yeah. Yeah. I remember there was this audio documentary, I think, I don't know what it was for, but someone followed this reporter, followed George Burns around when he would tour. Yeah.

Old, you know, at the end, he used him and his manager. and she was just getting a kick out of how like all of the weird road stuff and he's you know he's 89 years old and doing it and she was laughing that the two things were that it was all about the food it was where we're going to eat what are we going to get what are we going to do what are we going to have today that was like the whole the big thing and they would get so that he would get so excited over something new that worked and in her mind it was like a word or a half a of a sentence, but the elation that he had was just like, oh, really, it worked. It worked. And she was like, what worked? Like, she couldn't even tell, but that's all you need, really. Yeah. He knows

what it means, you know. I'm at the thing now where, uh, I'm trying, yeah, in my mind, I'm like, I saw the show and I watched a couple of specials that I really liked. And, uh, like my buddy Andy Woodhaw just put one out on YouTube, which I love that's like, yeah, just, it doesn't have to be I sent it to the guy at the place and somebody told me he only watches four minutes. Like you got all these stories. It's like you work so hard, just put it out.

Yeah. And I'm at the place now where there's like multiple times where I'm like, oh, I got to write that like it kind of just turned back on. Like that kind of passive brain or whatever. Yeah, that's great. It goes like, you'll write it down. And then you always think of the the Hedberg joke where he's like, or convince yourself, it's not funny. Right.

You got to get up and get a pin or convince yourself. convince yourself it's not funny. Yeah. So your girls are, yeah, this is a good age. 10 and 7s. Yeah. And it's like gymnast,

the older one's gym, which is such a, it's a sport that takes up all the time. Yeah. So she doesn't do another activity. It's just like 16 hours a week of gym. She's obsessed. She's so happy.

And it's like she works so hard. Yeah. That's like the thing that I've always, like with both of them. It's just like, just what I took from standup when I was very young was like, the only thing you can control is how hard you work. Yeah.

And what you can do with that is you can work harder than everybody. Right. I remember at a time where I was like in a just a garbage hotel. Yeah. And I was like, I got out of bed and wrote for another hour because I was like, I bet Chris Rock because he was touring. I was like, I want to outwork Chris Rock today. I just like made up a thing. Yeah.

But so she's in gym and then my little one does tennis and she just started co-ed like kid pitch baseball. Oh, cool. She's a catcher. It's like one of the cutest things I've ever seen. I'm really envious because there's like a. You know, every stage is whatever, but my one's in college and the other one's getting ready to go. And you're living in the pictures that are difficult to look at. Oh.

You know what I mean? Like for me to like see them at 10 and 7 is like, oh, man, we didn't like, you knew what you had. But do you, you know what I mean? You don't really clock that they're going to get a bag of you go. You're living in the pictures. Is that a thing you've said before? No. That's like the title of something.

And that's, yeah, that was pretty profound. That's one of the best things. Because it's funny, you're like, I, at this age, you're living in the pictures. Like, I could say that to someone younger because I remember, like, we moved into this house a few years ago or five years ago, whatever. And then I look at the pictures. And I distinctly remember, like, my oldest being like, oh, she's not a baby anymore. Right. She's so mature and she's talking.

And then I look at those pictures. And I'm like, that's a baby. What were we doing? We just didn't have. Yeah. It's so funny. especially, I always laugh how serious, like you would discipline them or talk to them. Yeah.

And then you look at them like, I remember getting so mad and be like, what? She can't even, she can't even talk yet. That's the words. I, it's, those things you look back and you're like, what did I do? But, you know, when they start to communicate, what did I do? You're like, okay, this is a human being that can talk to me. Yeah. How does she not know everything about the world yet?

Why are you talking to your mother like that? Is that really how you're going to talk to your mother? She was like, I just, I've been talking for a week. I do a thing where I hate it so much, but it's a, whatever it is, I do something that's like kid, like a thing. And I'm just like, what are you thinking? And in your mind, in the moment, you're like, why would you throw that thing? Because it's going to break something.

But as a kid, you're like, I'm not thinking, man. I'm just like going through my day. I thought that would be fun. I thought it would be fun and now she's bleeding. So it's not fun. We all learn something. It really is so fun. money.

How, so how old are, like, college, what year in college? I feel like the last time I saw you, I think, or maybe not the last time, but at some point I saw your kids and they were still kids. Yeah, very much so. It was like yesterday. And now she's a, she's a junior in, no, she's going to be, wait, she is a junior. She's a junior. We started, yeah.

This is a junior. She's a junior. And what's your son? Holy cow. Both girls. Our daughter? And, uh, she's a junior. 17. She's going to graduate high school.

Where's the older one in college? I don't say on air. Nice, nice, nice. Yeah. Back east. Far away. Far from here? Was that a bummer? Yeah. No, because we love going back east. We have a lot of family back there and that kind of thing. What's going to happen is, but if both of them end up over there, you move? I don't know. Spend more time there for sure. When did you start thinking about that? Because I have, I don't spend time anywhere, but where I live.

So I'm taking, we got these season tickets to UCLA gymnastics. And I'm like kind of, even though who knows how hard to get in school, I'm just like, go somewhere local. Because at my, you know, they're three years apart. She's only 10, but I'm like, don't leave. Yeah, don't leave. Right, exactly. That's what I, that's what I keep, that's what I've been saying that a lot. Like, the thing you really want to say to the people you love is don't leave.

Don't leave me. And, but it's really out of your hands. And it's better if they do. Eavesdropping on, yeah, and he's dropping on just hearing conversations on planes of older people whose kids now are parents with their grandkids. Yeah. And you hear a lot of, one's in Portland, one's in Austin, and, you know, we get to see them a couple times a year. And then I think it was like, I haven't visited my mom in four years.

Right. My kids aren't going to be like that, aren't they? Right. I'm like, how cool of a place can I build? I know. But in, on a beach or something that they're going to want to come. I mean, I'm, the grandkids are like an incentive for my parents to like want me to come. Also my, it's the whole thing of like every, they're like, we'll buy your plane tickets.

And I'm like, it's not because I'm not doing well. I appreciate the offer. It's just, it's so much work to get there. And I guess I'll just be living that life one day. It's such a weird contradiction to, because. Like my parents are coming out for two straight weeks because they got like a cheap thing with their miles. And they're like, just to warn you, we're coming for two weeks around Thanksgiving. And we were like, what?

Two weeks every morning in the kitchen? Wait, what? And they stay with you? Yeah, they stay with us. Oh, that's going to be something. Oh, boy. If I said that to my kid, past four or ten years, guess what? I'm coming for two weeks.

and the idea that my daughter will be like, oh, you're going to be in my kitchen every morning. No. Does it change when you have kids? Like, is it becoming, you're like, we have our own life now because I've also, I don't know. You know, maybe she'll let me know. I was walking out to school where like walking to the car to go to school yesterday morning. Yeah. And my little one just had like a rough start to the day.

And like when they came back from pandemic, I was like, listen, it's, you know, whatever. Yeah. If you don't want to go one day, you don't have to pretend like you're sick because then I feel like I'm worried you're sick. You can just say, I don't feel like it today. Oh, that's smart. And then one, like last year, my like six-year-old at times, she was like, I want to take that personal day. Nice. So the other day I'm walking out and we have this whole morning of like she doesn't want to go to school.

Yeah. And I was like getting her to the place where I'm like, just tell me you don't want to go. Yeah. And she did and she's like crying. And I'm like, chill out, laying in bed. It's not a big deal. It's like a Monday. Who cares?

It's the first grade. Yeah. So I walk out with my older one and this older woman driving by just like rolls her window down and she goes, enjoy it while at last time. It flies by. Yeah. And the first thing I thought of was like, had she driven by like last week when I'm like, can you get your bag?

Like it just happened to be a great morning. Yeah. I was like, you know what? It does. But I'm like, I'm trying to focus on like not being that guy. Most of where you're just like, can we hurry? I know. It's hard.

Because sometimes you just have a short fuse. you got some other stuff going on and whatever. Yeah. But there was a guy walking with his daughter, like on a little, like, tricycle or whatever, and just having, like, this nice little walk in the neighborhood. And I just blurted everything out. Oh, my God, it goes so fast.

It's remind me with my daughter. And now she's, and now they're in college and that, but at those moments, we're like, oh, my God. Yeah. And I wasn't even advising him. I was just spitting out my own stuff. And he literally was like, okay, good to see you. Like, he had no idea how important was.

I was telling him was. I had one of those moments where we were, it was the first trip we'd ever left our kid and we went 45 minutes away to some hotel in the water and her parents came to watch. Like, we'd left, but you do that thing where like the whole time you're gone, you're talking about your kid.

So we're at a restaurant, we're at a booth like this. And there's a guy over there with a baby and his wife. And the baby's like younger than mine by like a month it looks like. And I'm just like kind of lost in it. And I'm just staring like way too much at this baby.

Yeah. I can't believe we left her. What are we doing here? And they both look at me. And in my mind, I wanted to say like, oh, I'm missing my daughter right now. I was just thinking about how beautiful your baby is. Your family is. I'd love to.

But I just go, oh, I just wanted to hold them. And like, I got so stumbled out of the block, which is part of the real emotion. But I'm like, that's not what you say. What you say in a restaurant. Like they were like, this guy's weird, right? Give me. No, no, I'm not weird. I just want to hold them.

I'm not weird. Come on. Let me all one squeeze. Come on. Well, this is so great. Thank you for coming here. This is great.

This is really fun. Enjoy the bread. Next, I will find you. I'll text you when I ate this, but yeah, well, just enjoy it. I'm not as invested because I didn't make it. The bread I'm going to bake you. I've seen the bread online.

Yeah. Something else. But this is really good, too. And yeah, just come back and do more sets. I hope to, yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to see this special. I just locked the picture on it.

Really? Does it look great? Yeah, it looks good. Suit look good? Yeah, pretty good. Nice. Yeah. You always got a good suit.

Yeah, with a big fat head on it. Got it, Aaron. All right, that's it, kids. That's the great Tommy John again. Look him up online. Check out his stand-up and start sending him messages. so he knows that he is beloved and starts showing up at the clubs with regularity. Great guy, as you can tell, very funny.

Thank you all for listening. Go to tompapa.com. Look up all my dates and all that good stuff. And we'll see you next time.