Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 139 - Vir Das

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Vir Das talks about his new Netflix special, Landing, and tells us what you should never see at an Indian Restaurant. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's our goal. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you for being here.

We've got a great show for you today. We've got a great comedian all the way from India, Veer Das. Very funny, very thoughtful. He's got a new special. on Netflix called Landing. It's really good. He's really good. It's so impressive when he's,

when you, when you listen to his story, you're going to be, you're going to be very impressed. He's very, he's very thoughtful, but there's also, you know, I can't imagine like being so huge in one place.

And then it's humbling to come to a brand new country and reboot. and you know, you know, it's like imagine, you know, being like this gigantic star and then you come over here and it's like, who's this guy? That is not where he's at now. Now he's at a point where people really do know him, but to like nail it and then come and then like, okay, I'm going to go conquer this market. You've got to be a little humble.

And he is. He's very, very smart, very thoughtful. You're going to love his comedy. The special is really great, and the special is somewhat in response to a bit of a kerfuffle that he went through, where he went to the Kennedy Center, and he read this poem about his country, about India, and it caused a big stir, and he kind of went through the firestorm of people reacting in very exaggerated ways on social media and in the press. And he had to kind of suss that all out and respond comedically.

And that's kind of what this special is. It's very funny. You're really going to like it. And you're going to really like this conversation. Go to tompapa.com. Look up all of my tour dates. I'm running all over the country. I am going to the Kennedy Center soon.

I think that might be sold out. but we've got Chicago, we've got Denver, we've got Scranton, Pennsylvania, we've got New York, we've got the Borgata in Atlantic City. We're coming back there on Memorial Day. We're going to start the summer off right at the Borgata, at the Jersey Shore.

So go to Tompapa.com, look up all of that good stuff. Of course, what a day is streaming on Netflix. It's new home. So go watch the special and enjoy. I am excited to wrap up this podcast because on my way home, I get to stop at the Italian deli, where I have, one of the treats of doing this podcast is right around the corner is one of my favorite L.A. Italian delis is Monte Carlo. And they have Guantale, which is where I can, which isn't carried in my supermarket. And I am going to be making a carbonara tonight, which is very exciting.

You know carbonara. A little egg, a little guanchale, a little pecorino, a little bucotini pasta, a little pasta water. Simple and amazing. So I'm going to stop there and get it. If you don't know what guanchali is, it's kind of the inside pork cheek. I know, I know I'm hearing my vegetarian family yelling at it. screaming. I know. But for those who are not offended by that, it is one of life's complete joys. I like just walking through that deli. It's just, and there's an Italian newspaper that they,

an Italian American newspaper, but all in Italian. A couple things in English, but mostly Italian. And I like to get it and walk out and then they kind of try to read some of it. You know, I've been trying to learn a little more Italian here and there, which, means not really. But I do like the moment of get the guanchale, get some provolone, get some barata, load up on some stuff. I always want to buy enough stuff where they have to give me a box on my way out. Then I know that I've actually done something. And then this is purely just ego and me. I just grab the newspaper, which is for free, grab the newspaper and wave goodbye and walk out. And in my mind, I think they think, oh, he's legit. He even speaks Italian. And they know I get

home and it'll be on my counter and I won't be able to understand much of it at all. But I'm very excited to go do that. I've had a vegetarian, a vegan friend coming over on Sunday. And I was like, I'll make food for you. I can do it. And she's like, no, we should, we, well, we can go out. I don't think she's really interested in my tofu ginger attempts. She's like, yeah, I know what you do, Guantali. We're going to do vegan out. Veer Das, great comedian, great conversation. I love just hearing his journey because it's unlike, I would say, any comedian that we've had on this program.

It's totally unique. How do you come from India, a place where comedy is just emerging and become one of its biggest stars? You'll find out when we talk with Veer Das. How's the, I love the special, by the way. How's it doing? Thank you. You're happy with how it turned out? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's good. It feels like it built on the last one. And now last night I went and did the Comedy Magic Club, which is a, you've been there. Yeah. Just because I've been doing all these little like 15 minute spots everywhere. Yeah. So last night I got to see like, what do I have now? I did an hour.

So I was going to see like, like, how much have we accumulated since the special? Do you have enough? Yeah, I have enough. I have enough. I have enough. I have seven minutes. I'm so terrified. And I go on tour March first.

Oh, you got some time. Yeah. I'm next week. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, you need like, you need about 40, 45 minutes at the very, least. Yeah, at the very least. Yeah. And it felt good. It was like, all right, we're in good. We'll be okay. Yeah, I'm not going to be okay. It's so bad. How's the reaction been to the special? Really good. Good. Really good. I mean, we can talk about it, but we're rolling. All right. Are we? Yeah. Oh, great. The aim behind the special was to make both sides laugh. Whether you love my content or whether you don't love my content. And touch, food, we've been okay. It's been three weeks and both sides seem to be laughing.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Do you check comments? Do you? I mean, we all get a sense. I think I'll check Twitter, which is maybe not the best place to check at all. So I'll do the hashtag of the special and I'll go down to see what people are saying. Yeah. And also, I don't know, but I think Twitter's become meaner than the comments. Like, you know, Twitter is like, comments with good grammar. You know, it's Twitter. So I think Twitter kind of hardens your soul a little bit. Yeah. And, but comments is just comments, right? So then you go down that dive.

But Twitter, you can be like, okay, I hate you, I hate you, news. You know, something's happening in Aruba or whatever. Well, you had this thing just for my listeners, we talked a little bit about it on the radio show. But you did a very controversial video at the Kennedy Center. center called Two Indias. And it was the end of your set and you went up and you read basically a poem. Yeah. That explained all the good things and bad things of your homeland.

Yeah, it was sort of an ode to my, you know, my people. It was really nice. It was really, I mean, even being detached and not knowing exactly some of the elements, which I'll ask you about in a bit, the thrust of it was really moving and, cool and great. But I'm using that as a way to bounce off of the comments discussion because you got hit with a ton of comments off of that. Yeah, no, it's a, it's a weird thing.

So when I'm talking about this, I'll say as much as I can without starting another news cycle for myself. Right. If that's all right. Because that's just something I have to be mindful for as well because, you know, the first cycle was a shitstorm as we talked about, right? But I did this video and it was kind of like many videos that I've put up on my YouTube channel. For some reason, I still can't tell you why this.

And I don't think you get to predict why you strike a chord sometimes. And this struck a chord and it's getting a lot of love. And then three days into it, I think we all have the angry news channel in our country. You know, so you have yours, we have ours. And they picked it up and did it. something about it and angry news channels lead to angry people and angry people lead to angry comments and angry comments lead to angry stuff so it was yeah very stressful and then you know I just kind of had to go underground for a bit for about two months to explain to me the stress of it

the most stressful thing was feeling like you let people down I should clarify that you know with but you know there were complaints they were saying take his passport you know there were I think some people had filed, you know, sort of complaints against me. And you were getting your hate mail and all of that stuff, right? So at that point, I think you don't know what's real anymore, you know, when you're at the center of that. And I was just told, listen, turn your phone off and turn it on after a while. And if it's still going, then you're fucked.

Yeah, that's a good strategy. That's a good strategy, right? So I was told by people who have been through these things before, they're like, you'll have your time in the sun. Right. And then you go to the back of the line and hope it's a really long line. Yeah. And I think anybody who's creating art or, you know, has their time in the sun. Sure.

But they were like, it's a six-day cycle, usually. Six-day? Yeah. And if you're still kind of trending on Twitter after six days, you're fucked. Right. And on day six, like somebody just went and turned the line. light off thankfully. And it was off. But I turned my phone off for I think about two months because I think I mean to go from that into something I think I really learned the hard way what it means to be a

comedian this year because you you know we go for the laugh and we never know what's going to get the laugh and what's not going to get the laugh or what's going to get the powerful laugh. And then I had this situation and I was like okay I have to talk about it because the next time anybody sees me on stage, you know, they're going to be thinking about it. Yeah, yeah. What's your reaction? But I'm never going to talk about it on the news. I'm never going to talk about it in, you know, on anything else.

Yeah. It has to be a joke. Right. You know, so for three months, I just, I could not think of a joke. Because how do you write this, this elusive joke that brings everybody to the table irrespective of how they felt about your content? Yeah. casts you as the idiot in the joke.

Never lionizes you, never victimizes you. Right. puts you just as the idiotic. In the safe idiotic space. In the idiotic space, right? And then I think I saw two or three things. I saw Chris Rock make a statement saying when you want to hear about the Oscars,

you come see my special. You come see my show. And I was like, okay, that's something. Right. I was selling somebody, but I saw, there's a documentary called Conan O'Brien just can't stop. Uh-huh.

And it's about how when he was dealing with the tonight show situation, he just pivoted that into a show. Yeah. Right. And in a really cool way, he never talked about whether it was fair or unfair. I have yet to see him. Right. Talk about whether it was fair or unfair. What happened to him.

That's a good point. You know, he just made it funny. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, fair, unfair doesn't matter anymore. Right. Is this a funny story? And is this an interesting story? And so I think I've told you this, but the first joke I wrote was three months later.

I just kind of woke up in the morning and it was like, all right, I was on the BBC homepage in England. And the BBC homepage said, comedian polarizes the nation. Do you know how badly you have to fuck up before the British say that you divided India? And then I was like, okay, at least that's a tone, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm the idiot. I fucked up. Both sides can agree that we hate the British.

Yeah. You know, and hopefully now there's a way to go. Yeah. So then it formed at least an in. Right. The special is about a lot more, but it's kind of, it checks in with this story about three times or four times. Yeah, yeah. But tell me about the, I mean, you learned how to get out of trouble being a comic.

Yeah. The thing that got you in trouble wasn't really that comedic. No. It was really just from the heart. Yeah, yeah. What is your view as a comedian? What put that paper in your hands? What made you write that?

I couldn't and sit and do it. And I tend not to... Is it part of the comedian that just wants to relate and just is... I don't think I was doing it as a comedian.

I think I was just doing it as a person. As a person. You know, and I think my YouTube channel was a, is a healthy mix of like, I actually don't put that much stand-up on YouTube. I'll put like music or I'll put like, you know, different sorts of things.

So I think it was one of those things, but we honestly just didn't expect it. You know, it's like, my wife and me, we were touring DC and we were at some monuments and you know the show was at 7.7.30 and at 4 p.m. I kind of wrote this piece down and I went to my wife and I was like, should we do this? And she's like, yeah. Right.

Yeah. The DC is probably a part that bothered them. Yeah, maybe. And then we found. Right. Being in another country and I don't think so because a YouTube channel is, you know, 98% of the views on that video have come from within India. So I don't think that's a. You know, and I've done videos abroad as well.

Yeah. And most of the crowd is Indian too. So I don't think it was that. It's just, it encapsulated the entire year of events. Maybe that was that. But I mean, my rule is simple. Any feedback is good feedback. Any feedback is valid feedback.

I'll take it head down, mouth shut. Right. Right. And I'll never critique my content. That's your honor as an audience member. And I have to honor however. you felt about that. That's valid. My job is to just take that and see if I can learn from it or pivot it into something fun. So that's kind of how I, you know, I think your survival instinct

kicks in and that was my process to say it's all valid. It's all good. Yeah. However you feel. If you feel, I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'm happy if I made you feel something. Right. And now let's go to the stupid. The special's so good. And it's kind of like, kind of like the Conan thing with, with, he never really had to address it. Yeah. It's like you just moving forward with your comedy and just going, it was like, how can you not like this guy? You know what I mean?

Really, it's like, oh, this is not, you know, because I bet a lot of the people that were angry probably were, it wasn't your fans that you turned off. It was just people that were watching the angry news stuff. You know, maybe there's some of it. But I mean, the people that were new to you and because of the thing, then they see this special and they're like, All right.

Yeah, I think so. But also I think that's par for the course in terms of getting a slightly wider audience. You know, earlier this many people used to watch stand-up. Yeah. And as this thing grows, and it really has in the last four, five years. Yeah. Now there's that many more people at the table. And there's going to be like nascent reactions to things.

Yeah, absolutely. Like, I'll have people sometimes come out wherever I am touring. And they've never been to a comedy club before. They've never seen a comedy show before. They just came in because, oh, that guy from that Bollywood movie, let's go. Right. Right. And then they're like, why is he talking about his dick so much?

What kind of show is this? Or they're like filming during the show because they don't know its protocol to not film a stand-up comedy show, right? Yeah. So I think it's just par for the course where you have to deal with these things, but the blessing is the larger. Yeah. Yeah. You know? No, absolutely.

And yeah. Right, exactly. and the more of the people, the more you're going to have those comments, it's just the way it's going to go. Like I said, it truly just kind of, I had to learn what it meant to do this. Yeah, yeah.

And any sort of safety net I had was yanked away. And, you know, sometimes you go for profundity or it seeps into your material, et cetera. And, you know, I feel like I'm previously guilty of indulging those policies. or indulging those silences. And suddenly that was also taken away from me in this special as well, where I'm like, yo, if I have a silence,

I better have a big ass laugh around the corner or something silly around the corner. Because I can't take that leeway anymore. What do you mean? Why with the silence? Because it was really important to me that this special was comedically valid. Just packed with more jokes.

Fact with more jokes. So I think there are three deep silences in it. And one where I throw like Aziz under the bus. Right. You know, Aziz and Hassan under the bus. The other one, I'm being sodomized by a Frenchman like at the end of the silence. And one, the silence is the funny bit.

Right. You know, so it kind of took that away as well. Right, right. In that sense. Like, are you okay to sit in a silence? I'm not, I'm not there yet as a comic. I'm okay with it. But, and I do it more when I'm touring.

Yeah. But by the time the special comes, I'm editing so much out of it. Yeah. That it's just that there's not, my goal is to have not one line that's not funny. Yeah. And it just becomes a freight train. It just becomes, there's no real pausing. And I don't know.

I mean, maybe there's something about, like you said, you want it to be packed with jokes. Yeah. And especially, recorded it's like you know I don't think they want you just hang with you

they want to be kind of I mean but then you know Gerard Carmichael you know he's I mean

he works that very well you know but it depends on the pacing of what else you've got I think it works for him because of how personal it is

yeah you know and you can I mean that's something I've seen recently is you know in a special

you have to feel the emotion and in a live performance you have to project the emotion you know and in a comedy special that's a tough line yeah yeah yeah the camera never lies so if you're not feeling it and it looks remotely theatrical yeah you can mess up your entire special yeah because of a moment that was going for you know yeah the third balcony but the camera's like here you know it is a strange thing I was talking to a comedian the other day who he wants to record his special audio. Okay. And then animate the thing that you see. Because he said, I don't feel like I have to be that close to a comedian as you are in your specials.

I don't want to be that close to the face. I don't want to be that. You know? Yeah. There's something to that. There is something to the, you know, a little more distant. But then, you know, you also want to lean in. I don't know.

It's not a, it's not, it's definitely, it's definitely an art form because, you know, even when you go and you start editing and you start looking at your stuff, you're like, you know, you start to lean in more towards what was happening that night that you weren't thinking about when you went into it. I think also that one thing I'd love to do someday because I, I directed this one. So I, I had two close-ups. and one of them was at a funny point and one of them was not.

And typically it's the temptation of the director to be like, he's saying something confessional. Right. Now let's go in. Let's push in slowly. I just want to do a special where every time you talk about dicks, we push in slowly. You know, like just something stupid.

You push in slowly and then you just stay wide. But it is still a piece of cinema. Like I do draw the different. between a special and a live show. It has to compete with cinema. Yeah. No, it has to look a certain way. It has to, I really believe, I've used really good directors on them just for that reason.

Because there was a time when it's almost like watching YouTube advance. You know, in the beginning it was just, you could just film something shitty and people. And now it's really sophisticated and people are, you know, really spending time on it. It's the same with stand-up specials. For a while, they were just like. Comedy Central just locking off and ringing comic after comic. And now it's like, you got to put some thought into every aspect of it. I shot it and I was supposed to edit and deliver it in four weeks, which is really soon.

Yeah. If you're looking at yourself. That's about where I was. You know, so I need like 10 days to not look at myself and like go away. And then the first time you press play, you're just like, oh God, please. Let this not be every nightmare I've had for. for six months. And then I put it on and I was like,

I look, my hair looks fabulous. Let's go. I don't look that fat. That's all I need. I needed like one punch of vanity and I'm like, okay, now I can edit this thing.

It's really true. I baked you some bread. What? Yeah. I'm not sure. When do you leave L.A.? I leave tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning.

Yes. All right. Well, do with it what you will. Can I try it now? You can take a look at it. You can eat it. It's your bread. Thank you, sir.

I baked this for you last night. Yo. And, uh... This is incredible. It's like non-bred, but exploded. So can we talk through? Are you tired of talking through how this works? Oh my God, never.

Yeah? Okay, so how does, like, how long does something like this take? Three days. Okay, but then you have a... I know this is like a starter yeast and then there's, and you have to grow it like a garden. Yeah, like an animal, like a pet dog. This was alive.

Yeah, it was alive as a gooey mass. And then you start to, you feed it and make it into dough. And then after it's dough, then it's bread. It's about three days because you've got to get that yeast kind of active. How many people in L.A. do you get to offer bread to own a weekly business? Because isn't this, you know, a sin in L.A.? Yeah. It's, uh, there's a lot of closeted bread eaters in, in, uh, in L.A. No. It's yours.

It's yours. Thank you, sir. Yeah, you're welcome. Uh, lovely. Eat with it throw it into your suitcase, bring it to New York. Done. Um, I'm a walk through JFK with some bread. I did it. I, uh, Gaffigan was on. Okay. And I gave him bread and we had this great time together. And we didn't realize we were on the same flight going back to New York. And I saw him at the airport. We were both going to our cars.

And he had the bread under his arm. Yeah, watching him walk through the bread. Of course, Gaffigan's going to keep bread on him. He might be, I think, the first stand-up DVD that I ever bought. Ah, really? It was the hot pockets. And you have to understand, like in India, if you're a stand-up fan, at least when I was getting into stand-up, it was a task to get stand-up. It was a task to get stand- end up DVDs. Really? So you had to buy them on Amazon UK or Amazon US.

Wow. And you had to wait six weeks for them to come to India. Jeez. So, and we had no idea who was popular or who wasn't. So you're just like, what's available. So I remember buying like Craig Shoemaker, Jim Gaffigan, John Pinette. Uh-huh. Yeah, the great John Panette.

And I had Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and all of that stuff. But then it was such a gamble because it, cost so much to bring it to India. Wow. And if your shit wasn't good, it was so disappointing at a profound level, because you're like, I waited eight weeks for this. So who were the comedians that,

what got you thinking comedy? Eddie Isard. Eddie Azard. George Carlin and Richard Pryor. Right. And where did, where did you see them? I saw Eddie Isard, just DVDs. There's a DVD called Dressed to Kill. I don't know if you've seen it. Yeah, yeah. I saw that, I saw that, I saw that

off-Broadway in New York. It's amazing. Yeah. Raw and delirious. And then not the one on sunset boulevard, but the other Richard Pryor one where he, before he had the fire. Right. Is it the Hollywood Bowl maybe? Which I think might be his best.

Yeah. I just remember those. And so were you, was there comedy around when you're a kid? Are you? I was in Africa. So I was in Lagos, Nigeria is where I grew up. Oh, okay. So you were getting like Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Eddie Murphy.

Richard Pryor on television. Right, right. So that's just the first time I saw stand up. And then I saw Russell Peters, you know, when, when YouTube really began. Yeah. And I was just like, my God, I've never seen a brown man be this edgy and this hilarious. Yeah. And so he just kind of opened up a gate in my head, you know.

I remember when that started to catch for him. It was like. It was like, fire. Yeah, it was like he unearthed a part of the globe. that didn't really know comedy. I think he went from the club to selling out, you know, just arenas without like theaters in between. Yeah, I know. Way before anyone was doing it.

Yeah. It was amazing. So how long were you there? How long were you in Africa? In Nigeria, I was there. My parents were there for 17 years. What do they do? My dad, this is sexy as hell.

Are you ready? Yeah. Pre-cut potatoes and tomato pulp. Ooh. That's my dad. As a baker. Yeah, I get that. I might be the only person that's actually turned on by that.

I can't have sex without them. That's my... So those are the two things that my dad did. My mom was a housewife who then became an environmentalist. She went back to college when she was 44. Oh, nice. And then they sent me to private boarding school in India. And then I was politely asked to leave boarding school.

At what age did they send you? They sent me when I was seven, seven and a half, which is very young. Yeah, it's young, yeah. And then I think I was kicked out when I was 12. And so I went to public school where my grandparents were. Oh, really? So I lived my grandparents for four years. So you weren't really around your parents?

Not until my final year of high school and first year in college. What's that like? We had a nice reunion, you know. My dad came back, you know, from Nigeria after a while. And he's like, you know, you're kind of an asshole. And I was like, I know. But you should have, you know, hi. It's good to see you.

Wow. Did you feel at the time, was it hard to like, when you're packing up at seven? Yeah. In some place, are you, do you feel like they've left you? Do they feel like what? I was very dramatic. I used to write them letters in red ink and be like, this is my blood. You've forgotten about me.

Oh, my God. So can you imagine your kid is across the world and you're sitting in. Africa and you read this letter and you're like, oh my God. Yeah. But still not go get them. They still not go get them. And I went because my sister's older than I was. So they were like, we'll just package deal, send them off. And I'm like, she's, you know, 12. She's old enough to go to boarding school. Yeah. I'm not. What do you think their thinking was that there was just better schools there? They wanted you.

They wanted us to have an Indian education. Right. You know, and it was important to them that we learn Hindi and understand India. Right. And I think my dad is. one of those guys who for 17 years, every morning woke up and he's like, we got to go back. We're going to go back. We're going to go back. Right.

It took him 17 years, but finally it took like five political coups in the country and the country shutting down and then going, go back. And then we went back. You have no choice. Get out of here. Wow, that's a strange thing as a parent. Could you do it? Never.

Yeah? Never. It's good for your kids, though. Like, not at seven, but at like 13. 14. I think so. I think we live in a time when we, you know, keep them as long as possible. And, you know, you read these stories of like, you know, Mark Twain leaving home when he was 12 and just went off and was living his life. And you can do it. And it's, it's, you know, it's very coddled in a lot of places here in the States. They're filled with a lot of love. Yeah. But it probably does something.

to the worldliness, to the hustle, to the... It does. What it is, though, is it's very equal. That's what I loved about boarding school is, look, everybody that gets to go to a boarding school is above a certain level of privilege. Of course. Right. Right.

But even within that, there's a massive range of rich kids and kids who can barely afford to go there, et cetera. Yeah. Same uniform, same bed, same shoes, same books. You know, who your parents are matters very little in your boarding school. You're only seeing them four months a year. Yeah. So you really do learn to get on with every type of person.

Yeah. Which is the best thing about it, I think. Do you have relationships with the kids? My best friend in the world still. So we had corporal punishment in boarding school, which is, you know, just very physical stuff. So we had to take our pants off and somebody take a hockey stick and, like, hit us on our ass. And then you do that in a line and then go back to the back of the line. And I was the kid who wouldn't.

shut the hell up during the, you know. The punishment. So I'd be like, boom, catch one. I'd be like, wasn't that hard. You know? And then I think at one point during a beating, I took it too far and a senior just went at me. And my best friend and me, we both met where he gave me his pillow because I couldn't sit down because my ass was blue.

Oh my God. And he's one of my two best friends till date. To this day. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you were surviving together. You were these. Yeah, man.

Yeah. But they had such creative punishments in school. Oh, that's so brutal. We had something called a slap circle. All right. So it's all your friends. You stand in a circle with each other, right? And then you slap each other.

This is for fun. This is for fun, right? That's when you're in trouble. And of course, carmically, your best friend will be standing right next to you, right? And so what will happen is you'll give your best friend like a light, sort of a touch. And then the senior will come and slap you.

the shit out of you, right? So now you go to your best friend, turn on him completely, and smack the shit out of your best friend. He gets angrier, hits the next guy, hits the next guy. They do three rounds and then they reverse the order. Oh, so the guy who you get revenge. You get revenge after that. So they really just have to start the circle. Wow. And then it just carries on, which is evil, but brilliant. Brilliant. Good education, ultimately. Very good education. Yeah. I mean, the Indian schooling system is actually fantastic. It really does prepare you for college very well. And to be doctors all through the United States. Right. It is the amount of pressure put on Indian kids to be doctors when they come to the U.S. Like back home parents are like, you won't be a guitarist,

that's fine. But here they're like, doctor, lawyer, engineer. It's weird. Yeah, because it's the you have an opportunity. But your sister's really successful. My sister's very successful. So you both went off as little people. Yeah. And who needs mom and dad? You got to work and you're both really successful. She's a filmmaker? She's a filmmaker and a novelist.

So she won something called the National Award for Best Documentary. And that's the equivalent of, I don't want to say the Oscars because that's, is there like a government award that goes out for arts? No. It's a big deal for us. Yeah. Our government pretty much pretends there are no arts. What's Saturday Night Live?

We don't know what that is. Are they talking about us? Yeah. So she won that. What was the documentary? Yeah. It was called Fiddlers on the Thatch. And it's about a priest up north in India in the northeast.

And he found like in an old British mess hall, he found like a bunch of broken down violins and cellos. And he raised money and he fixed them. And he taught street children how to play Chai Chai. Kavsky and Beethoven and Indian classical music. Wow. So he formed an orchestra with street children. Amazing. And now they tore the world.

So really good story, right? Great story. And so she won the National Award for that. And I think she's, her third novel is being published soon. So, smartest, and I tell Dick jokes. This is our family. Are your parents still around? Yeah.

My mom is with the U.S. when and my dad is a businessman so yeah and uh is he still into potatoes no he's now uh into infrastructure projects okay which is potatoes really is he uh what did he think when you were first started getting into into stand-up yeah i didn't tell him uh i had this i went to college in the states and i had this teacher kind of come over to me after semester one and he was like i say this to one kid every five years. You're meant to be an artist. And his name is Ivan Davidson. And he's like, now shut up and take every course I tell you to take. And this man made an actor, I mean, but kind of drove me insane, you know, over three years. Like really. What did he see? What did he,

did he say? Why? No. He just, he just picked it. He just picked it. Like, I went to him every week and I'm like, you say that to every fucking kid, don't know? It's not just me. But he made me his TA for for acting and put me in like 10 plays and why did he drive you crazy he was very like emotionally focused on what your weaknesses are as an actor so he really got to the core of who you were to a human being and then would find a way to artistically break that barrier like he was in the arts department yeah he was the director he was the theater but for instance you know in scene work i i i can't watch violence towards women For instance, it's something that's, I just can't physically or visually see it.

Yeah. So he cast me a Stanley and streetcar named desire. Right. Bring back the slap circle. Right. Firstly, Stanley with an Indian accent, hilarious. Let's be honest. Stella, right? You know, but, you know, there's that scene where he comes over the dining table and it's a violent scene.

So he'd do stuff like that. He'd know that you were weak at that, and then he'd give you that kind of scene work. valuable valuable yeah i did i did equis oh i did equis right so you know that's you're naked on stage which is were you uh you were the kid i was alan i was the professor you would dysart i was dysart yeah but as a way too young of a man i was also way too homoenel for equis so so how we did equis in scene work was uh you know equis is about a boy who uh stabs some horses because he can't get it up because he can't get the image of the horse guard out of his head.

And he's trying to hook up with a stable girl. And so I think it was, I come out stage right, naked. And this girl comes out stage left, naked. We both arrive at the center of stage. Kiss, look down, equipment not working. You know, that's it. Fate to black. This girl and me had been hooking up for like four weeks before this thing.

So equipment worked in every scene. which, you know, like, if you stab horses because you don't get it up, as opposed to if you stab a bunch of horses because you do get it up, like, that's a very different play. It's a different perversion that you're gutting out their eyeballs. So I'm going to Ivan and I'm like, Ivan, my shit's working. And he's like, you've got to focus on your internal monologue. And I'm like, fuck my internal monologue.

I'm not this good an actor. Yeah, come on. Yeah, I'm a young acting student. I'm 21. Yeah, and you're hooking up with her. Forget it. Yeah. It was, it was, it was, I had to play the professor.

I had to play Dysart when I was, I came back to the school to play it the year I graduated. Okay. They asked me to come play it. And, you know, he's a 50 year old middle age man, you know, chain smoking and midlife crisis. And he's going through all his stuff. And I'm, I should have been the boy with the naked boy. And I'm, I'm like trying to be. older.

I'm trying to smoke a cigarette. I never smoked a cigarette before. It was rough. I had at the end of American drama school, which is very, you know, sitting in a circle and crying and people saying things like, emote with your shoulders, you know, and stuff like that. I got into this thing called the Stanislavski School, which is by the Moscow Arts Theater. And they do it in Cambridge every summer.

It's a summer program. And this is four years of drama school in America. Right. Many thousands of dollars. And this Russian teacher comes up after four years of my starting acting. He's like, acting is very simple. You just read script, do with the fuck you like. And I'm like, I just spent four years doing movement techniques and emoting with my shoulders.

Yeah. He's not really wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever read David Mammon? Yeah. Yeah.

His book on... Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross is him, right? Yeah, yeah. And then he wrote a book on acting or on directing or maybe just on show business and he says pretty much the same thing. Learn your lines. Say the lines. Listen.

Yeah. That's all you got to do. When your father, when you said you were going to drama school, he... Oh, yeah. I didn't tell him for the first two years. You just said I'm going to university. He thought I was studying economics. Oh.

I went on a reasonably large... scholarship package. What school? Knox College. And I think school was 27 grand or 28 grand and we could spend three. You know, so they gave us the rest.

The school gave us the rest. You know, in aid and scholarships. Yeah. So my dad was like, you gotta do economics. You got to be on the dean's list and really make the most of this opportunity. I'm just, stella. It's so funny.

And so... He's no idea. And I call him like two. years later the year before I graduated. And I was like, I'm an actor now and he's like, you made a promise. You're still going to do the Econ degree. Oh, man. So then I had to double major. So I think my theater GPA was 3.9 and Econ is like 2.0. Like 2.1 barely scape straight through. Oh, man. You made a promise. I made a promise. Yeah. You think there's value to that that you followed through on it? I know what my parents went through even for those three, four thousand dollars. You know,

My sister had to direct documentaries. And, you know, my sister is, I'm 21, so my sister's 25 or 26. So imagine starting your film career and every penny that you earn is being sent to your brother so you can study in the States. Wow. So I'm acutely aware of, there's a large amount of sacrifice that got me here. Did you get along with her? When she knew that was happening, she still loved you. Yeah.

It wasn't like, oh, that guy. No, my sister, since I was eight years old, has been this sort of, he's not going to survive without me. You know, I need to, like, I remember we got 10 rupees pocket money per week and she'd give me five of hers. Really? Even though I got 10 of my own. Really? She'd give me five of hers because she's like, he won't make it. He's weak.

It's great. Like, there's a story in the special where I go up at a school debate and I insult a senior. It's the first time I touch a microphone. Yeah. and my sister's beautiful. Yeah. And so I'd venture to say like 60% of my ass whoopings are just guys who wanted to date my sister and she said no. I may take it out on you.

But when I was on stage and I was making fun of this senior prefect and it's the first time I was on the mic and I was eight years old. Yeah. The only visual that I have in my head is just of my sister in the audience just going, you know, because she knew how I get my ass worked. So she's protected me my whole. That's amazing. Yeah. So when you get the economics, so you had to follow through. There was no, you weren't fighting.

You just doubled up. And it was not even remotely helpful. I graduated the year after 9-11. Oh, great. So cut to Chicago, washing dishes and selling kitchen knives door to door the year after 9-11 as a brown guy. I was not going toward a door. Have you heard of cutco cutlery? No.

Oh, what is it? They're like knives. No, is the name? Cutco. No, I don't think so. It's really great. They give you like a leather strip and then you're like, you pull out one knife and you make like five cuts in the leather strips. Then you pile up all the strips and you cut through that shit as well.

Nice. Then they give you a penny and you take the scissors and cut through the penny. And I had the demonstration down. I was just brown. Yeah. You had a bad timing. and no one's opening their door looking through the thing

why did you decide to stay in the state and what would your dad think at this point my dad cut me off when I was 21 he did yeah properly just because that's whatever you were doing that yeah he's like no

and did it in the most badass way where I was home for holidays after I graduated and I was getting back to the states to audition for drama schools and you know try and get into grad school he cut me off 20 minutes before I left the house for an international flight

going back to the States. So, you know, I was leaving for the airport at 8 and he sat me down at 740 and he's like, by the way, we're done. Really? I'm cutting you off. When you land in the States, you are officially on your own. Wow. We're not sending you any more money.

Have a safe flight. And then I took off. Were you kind of expecting that? No, I was devastated. You were. Yeah. And then... Was it a...

Was it a just this is the way life is going to go? Like he'd been planning that or was he angry about your direction? No, he wasn't angry at all. I think it's what his father did with him. And he just said, this is your man now. Yeah, and I think if I was ever in deep shit, my dad would come through. Sure. But I, uh, had you done that to your sister?

My sister, I think, was earning even before she got out of college. Like, she's ridiculously qualified and intelligent. So, you know. Right. And I think it gave me fire to like get into grad school. You know, I was like, okay, I'll show you. You know, I'll get into grad school and it did. Yeah.

I dropped out. But you, but yeah. I got into the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. Nice. So I went from selling kitchen knives door to door to Montgomery, Alabama, where there is one other brown person. And we saw each other in a parking lot and ran. at each other like pandas

would found each other and hugged each other and I remember I couldn't afford a car so I would cycle to the theater every day and it's half an hour but I'm cycling down I-95 in Alabama

with just people screaming all sorts of shit I literally was thinking about this last night because I was driving along I was going to Comedy Magic Club and it was down this beach road basically and it's dark in the sea and there was a guy, and it's kind of slow,

and there was a guy on a bike with this blinker, and I'm thinking, I'm like, I'm going to hit this asshole. Like, get out of the road. And then I was, you know, I was have empathy for, I'm like, maybe the bike is the way he can get around. Maybe he doesn't have a car. And then I'd almost hit him again. I'm like, fuck this guy.

I think the, maybe the way to tell is like cycling shorts. If there's cycling shorts and a helmet, then fuck that guy. Yeah, then fuck that guy. You know, but it was like, a business. Cargles or something like that, then maybe he's in my situation. Work shoes. No, I had a lot of, a lot of Osama's and, you know, just sort of people screaming all of that shit. Right. And, uh, oh, man.

I'd met a girl, you know, over the holidays. So I didn't make grad school. I dropped out for a girl. Oh, really? Why, where was the girl? In India. She was in India. And you met her in the States?

No, I met her when I was home on holidays. Oh. And, uh, I was. And that was it. That was it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Really. Yeah. Is that the girl you married? No, I was engaged to that girl. Thankfully, did not work out. But my wife right now is a badass event manager. Like, my wife used to run India's Rolling Stone sort of magazine. It's called Rock Street Journal.

So she's done, like, mega death concerts and, like, Herbie Hancock festivals and all of that stuff. Wow. Married me and is now a crystal healer, a tarot reader, and runs charities for stray dogs and all of that stuff. Wow. We kind of chilled out together. But she's badass. Yeah, that sounds badass. Which I think artists need.

Like, I think neurotic artists need, like, somebody grounding. Yeah. Like, is that your equation? Are you grounded or are you grounded? I'm pretty grounded. Yeah. In ways. And then other ways not.

And then she kind of balances that off, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. But do you, I mean, there are, you know, Because you take various risks with your craft. You know, so wait, like, do you feel like she enables that a little bit? Like, enables you to do that? Because, like, I see your specials.

And they are very, like, you can tell it's severe focus on craft and really going for it. You know? Yeah. I just think, I think artistically, I think creatively, I think creatively and creative people have a sensitivity. Yeah. that makes you either confused or vulnerable or what have you, just in the everyday, you know, so as much as I'm dialed in and, you know, pretty responsible and get things up,

but there's another, like, you know, psychic part of me that is adrift at times, you know what I mean? Like what you're saying, and you kind of have that, like you're saying, a creative person kind of need somebody. I think so. Yeah. I mean, what I, if I call it bullshit. Yeah, but if I could pay you a compliment, what I love about your work is, it seems purposed towards giving people a feeling of joy, you know?

Yeah. And it's the mission. Right? Yeah. And not a lot of comedians are going after that mission. Right. It's a very tough line to pull off. And so when I see it, I'm like, he clearly recognizes joy.

Right. To aim for it. Yeah. You know, and I don't know if most of it. comics can even recognize joy at that level to be able to orchestrate it. You know, we're all like up in here. I'm like, no, this man has experienced joy and he's trying to lead you towards it. So that is unique.

Yeah. It's so funny, Vier, because from the outside, you know, you seem very together and very, you know, there's a sensitivity and there's a thoughtfulness, but you do seem like, and it's kind of funny is you paint your picture and you tell your story because I can also, I can totally see that little kid who's screwing around and getting his ass hit more than the other kids. I can totally see that little devilish part of it. But there's also, and it's a very interesting thing that you, like sent to boarding school so early and then cut off and like now you're a grown up, go do it. Yeah. Like that's where the, that's where that grown up part of you is like,

there's like a steely part that also is the results of that which is such a bizarre again as a parent yeah I there's a selfishness in as being the father that I want the kids there in the house all the time and tickling them even if they're going to turn out to be shitty adults you know what I mean but there is a real like he was you know as as as cold as that might appear like those moves, it seems like ultimately it was valuable. I think so. I think if you know what it feels like to be in the Indian community in Africa, where you will, you're inside, but you're on the outside.

You're very sheltered, very privileged. And then you get to be the African kid in the Indian boarding school. And then you get to be the kid from private school, new to public school. Uh-huh. then be the Indian guy in Illinois, then be the drama school guy in Bollywood, and then be the Bollywood guy in L.A. Right. You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At some point, you have to make peace with the fact that you have always been an outsider. And maybe that's your thing. Yeah. You know, so then you stop the craving of one. Like, I haven't fit in anywhere since I was five years old. You know, and I'm still not

okay with that, by the way. I love for it to happen just once. To feel included. But as much as I hate it, it is slowly becoming, I don't think I've found a comedic voice yet, but it's slowly becoming a perspective. You've been doing it 10 years? No, I've been doing it seriously about 10 years, but actually about 14, 15 years. About 14, 15, yeah.

I mean, from the outside, you definitely have a voice, but I know what you mean. Yeah. I know it really is kind of insane. that we can really that I was driving home last night with the same feeling that I had 15 years ago leaving that club of though that worked and I think that was okay and all of the all of the stuff of not being clear that you're again this is the creativity thing yeah of not being certain we're never certain we're never completely certain but I think that's the best part of it like to me the the 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. before I hit a club, knowing that I have five new minutes.

That's the best feeling. It's better than doing the five new minutes. It's better than, you know, and then the rewritten five new minutes, just that knowledge that I have gold, hopefully, or shit. And I don't know which one it is. That is undeniably the best feeling in the world. It is. Absolutely. You know. And you have to then disguise that when you come come into the club because all the other comics are like, my life sucks. You know, but we're all excited.

Yeah. Explain to me, Bollywood. Bollywood is, I'd venture to say the most, well, Bollywood's actually not a very good term. We don't like that term.

So we call it now the Indian film industry, the Hindi film industry. Hindi, yeah. Because we're, you know, it's kind of us claiming and going, we're the largest film industry in the world. Why do we have to name this according to Hollywood? To Hollywood.

Right, right. We release five films a weekend across the country. You know, it's crazy. So, you know, maybe we're just our own film industry. Yeah, right. It is the most beautiful, magical, responsible form of escapism I've ever seen. Right. You know, my country's a very diverse country.

And various different types of people. Yeah. The same in the darkness of a Bollywood theater. of a Hindi movie or a regional movie as well. Right. It's the most democratic thing there is. Beautiful. It's really nice.

Yeah. And it's, I was telling somebody this the other day, I think, like, to openly feel that level of emotion or put it on screen, like Hollywood has to put people in superhero costumes. Right. You know, to access that level of escapism. Yeah. Yeah. Was it hard to get into it?

Are there more active because there's so much more? production. It's beautiful people and it's beautiful, talented people. Yeah. I snuck in there. Like, I really, I really just kind of from the side door. And this is, this is in a time where there was like, no, Adam Sandler career path or like Ben Stiller career path.

Yeah. You can be a comedic leading man. Right. Right. In our films, the, the hero of the movies is as funny as, you know, he does comedy at a quality level as well, right? So I ended up shooting a stand-up special Doing like a five-cam set up and really spending my savings on it

Making 100 DVDs Really? And making sure they looked really good Like if you put it next to Magnolia, it looked like it fit And then I I went to every DVD library where I knew directors rented DVDs from And I just gave them 10 free copies Really?

And that got me to auditions and got me into my first movie. Wow. So I kind of... Is it similar the way... The auditioning, the... Oh, yeah, for sure. It's all the same.

It is. Yeah. It was just... But it was just luck of the Irish. Wow. You know, I was a background extra... It's luck, but it's also pretty... It's also pretty...

Yeah, it's a punt. You know, you've got a bed on yourself a little bit. You shoot your shot. But I... What was that film like? It was called Delhi Belly. Deli. Yeah, and it's kind of like India's lockstock

in two smoking barrels. Oh, yeah? cult violin. kind of a comedy but I was doing a movie I was a background extra on a movie and it was one of these movies where me and the guy

I create stuff with still we met as background extras on this movie we were just two young kids and we got there the first day and we were shooting a song and this big Bollywood star and they were like these are your steps so learn them you know we're too young bucks

so so we learned we rehearsed all night and we danced pretty well you know and if you look at the three of us in a frame with the hero in the center your eye goes to us sometimes right so then we showed up three days later and they were like just take five steps back right and then then we came back three days later and they're like maybe a little bit more right yeah and eventually they stopped lighting us like making us up so this whole movie you'll see this this hero in focus right and like 40 feet behind him are two guys out of focus just going,

we're getting fucked on this movie, man. And it was in the middle of that movie that I got Delhi Belly. So it kind of got me through that. Like I got the phone call at night. Right. That's great. I just, when you're talking about just the beautiful women,

I did a gig when I was probably 10 years in, in New York. Yeah. I got hired by an Indian couple, had come to Carolines. Okay. And asked me to come to their, home to their apartment to do stand up in their living room for like 20 people and they paid me pretty good money yeah and I went up and uh gorgeous place on Fifth Avenue I mean I was just like a young

comic I didn't yeah you know I didn't know everything was underground the comedy cell it was underground my apartment was underground everything was like the subway was underground and now I'm in this rarefied air. Yeah. And the, they just got in a circle, like in these beautiful chairs. They had a lot of money, it seemed. And the women, all in like the traditional dress. And the women were the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life.

Yeah. I mean, I was, I was floored. And every guy standing behind looked like, like they were trying to do a comedy show. weird mustaches and big bushy eyebrows and they're all standing behind their wives and I started pointing that out how beautiful these women are and how did you and I like did one joke too many where they're like okay we get it the distance of beauty between Indian women and Indian men in beauty is tragic it really is just how far apart we are in terms of beauty I I have a gig like that too.

I got a call for... Do you guys have like a hen night here? A bachelorette party? Yeah, yeah. So before the bride gets married, right? And rich couple in Delhi, their daughter was getting married. These are socialites, right?

And so they called us up, called me up, and they're like, come perform for our daughter's bachelorette party. Right. Right? And I was like, I don't do private gigs. And they're like, you're going to be performing

in our basement where we have a 200-seater auditorium where the Dalai Lama has spoken. Oh my God. And I'm like, I'll call you back. So now I get on Google and they actually have a basement whether the Lai Lama is performed. And I was like, I still feel wrong about doing a bachelorette party. And she's like, how about you take your price and you triple it?

Whoa. And I think at that moment maybe my triple price was like $800 or something. I'll show them. I'll show them, right? I show up. Not a man inside. And there is 200 of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. Of all ages.

Yeah. I would have paid $800 to do this gig. They all have silly string and those noise makers. And a group of 200 beautiful women, if there's one man in there, nobody's listening to jokes, you know what I mean? You're a piece of meat. So I literally, every time I cracked a punchline, just mounds of silly string would go flying at my crotch. And I'd have to scrape it off and just kind of shake it off my hand.

And I did 45 minutes that way. You did. Until just my pants was soaked. Not one silly string hit me above waist, by the way. They're just crotch shots. Oh my God. But so worth it. So worth it. Oh, the beauty. It's just another level. So Bollywood, is there, it seems, I don't really know. What am I supposed to call it, Hindi?

The Hindi film industry. Or the Indian film industry is fine. There's so many films. Is it clear, is it, it's kind of naive question, but is it, is it clear of like, is what the A list is? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. And then. They have a level of fame that is unimaginable. Yeah. And when you got into more of the films, did that really give your exposure to that kind of blow you? Yeah, but I think everything I've done has been sort of action comedy, stoner comedy. You know, like my fame is like a, I'm like a double-decker bus. You know, like, you see me on the street, you be like, I know what that is. Right.

You may not. Oh, what, there goes. You know, I don't want to take a ride or anything. I just, I know it, right? So I think that's my level of fame. Right. Did your sister ever think of getting into that? No, no.

She was more just documentaries. She's more scholarly. When she won the National Award, she made two other documentaries and just kind of went, I'm out. Am I out? And now writes books. Yeah.

But to me, it's like having a Ferrari in the garage and not driving it. Yeah. Because she's that good. She's really, yeah. Would I be able to find that documentary? I can send it to you. I can find it and send it to you. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. It sounds great. Documentaries in general now, I feel like have the pace of a feature film. I know. You know? I know. But it's getting a little maybe reluctant.

Maybe not, maybe that's not so great in some instances. There's a slickness to a lot of documentaries and you're like, you're not full. You still need that thing that makes documentaries great, which is that story. Like you're saying, like it has to have some doubt. depth to it. Yeah, a lot of it is just footage. And they're getting a little tricky. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, yeah, this isn't special. I saw, what's the last good thing? I saw the Jad Apatow's George Carlin documentary and that was fantastic. That was really good. It's really, really good. Yeah. Like to see his different stages. Yeah. Of evolution and kind of being newer,

hope you get to go through something like that. Yeah. It's a really interesting thing. I was just, just when I was getting coffee, actually, just taking up. my phone and there was a George Carlin talking about fascism. Yeah. And it's amazing how 98% of comedians, even though they're great at their time, they kind of fade a little bit. They're just not as funny with it. But because his issues, he's so on point with his issues, he's lasting longer

than everybody. And both sides are posting his clips. Yes. You know, he works for the left wing and the right wing. in equal capacity, which is insane. It's insane. It's really insane. Well, I bake bread.

I tell dick jokes and should have been an economics maker. We have to make peace with this. Are your parents at peace with you now? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. How long did it take? I was 25. Like, we found each other in this beautiful sort of.

And he cut you off at 21. Yeah, but five years later, I was in India and I was I got in a job which was a great middle ground job for them I was a huge John Stewart fan

and at some point when I was 25 I shot like a news comedy pilot on a kitchen table with like a handy cam and CNBC put me on on their channel so at the end of the prime time news bulletin at 25 I got to do three minutes of jokes every night every night

yeah and so I'd shoot twice a week can bank them. So then my parents were like, all right, it's funny, but it's still business. It's somewhere in there. There's still a scroll at the bottom. But it was embarrassingly immature stuff, you know, now that I look back at it. Yeah. But you got to be a 25 year old kid and talk about you know, power and leaders and businessmen on the news, which is. And your father's, he's very proud at that moment. Yeah. It's like, all right. And, and, you know, You get corporate shows on the weekend because they're all watching that news bulletin.

That doesn't hurt either. Right, right. Yeah. But it was, that's great. I used to roll that at 4 o'clock in the morning before the news studio opened for the morning show. Right. So I just have to wake up at 2 a.m.

And go in there and do stand up at 4 a.m. In a television studio, which is not fun. And how long would you tape? I do two episodes a day and then I do a weekend episode. So I'd go in twice a week. Right. But I'd be in through the day just kind of writing jokes and scouring the newspapers. And it was three minutes of, you know.

It's great. How long did you do that for? Four years. For four years. And then I decided Bollywood was hopefully where I'd go. Yeah. And I saw this movie where this big Bollywood star, his name is Amir Khan, who's always been front and center on every movie that he's ever done, was suddenly in this ensemble with three guys that looked like me. you know and I was like oh

maybe I don't have to do the you know the chiffon shirt and the six-pack and right you know and maybe there's a place for guys like me yeah and then got into a movie that he produced it was a big hit and then ended up doing the chiffon shirt six-pack you did

oh really that I don't want to see forget your sister's documentary yeah if you'd like to know secret to a six-pack I can give it to you. It's very easy. What is it? So you have to be generally in shape, all right? And then you cut out carbs about four weeks before the shoot. You cut out salt about three days before the shoot. And you cut out water about a day and a half for two days before the shoot. You drink nothing but cold green tea. And your entire body will just, every muscle will be supremely defined. the trick is you're weak as hell.

Yeah, right. You can't remember your lines. Your eyes have gone back into your socket. So God forbid if it's like an intimate scene or if it's a song where you're supposed to dance, just emaciated and dehydrated, it's tough to pull off. It's amazing. And if you have one sip of water, just everything goes back up. Pups.

Oh, man. Thank you for being here. This was really great. This was very cool. it must be pretty cool to be coming back to the states like, you know, with success. Like after the Alabama, not the Alabama Shakespeare Festival wasn't great. But it's got to be a pretty cool thing that you've succeeded on both sides of the sea. Well, I think the fact that there's people here now were willing to listen to sort of a foreign perspective about things that they don't know and I get to explain it to them or their own things.

You know, I remember seeing every comic who came over was always like, let me talk to you about where I'm from, but let me not really talk to you about where you're from. Right. You know? Mm-hmm. And this market is strangely open now to both perspectives. Yeah. I don't think there's ever been a cooler time to... No, it's true.

It really is true. And man, we... I was so interested in your story. We didn't talk about food at all. Because I was saying we were going to talk about... Give me this. How about this? Give me this one thing.

When I'm out here, living here in Los Angeles, and what would be... What's the test? of an Indian restaurant because I can't really tell the grates from the like in an Italian restaurant if you order New Yorki

which is the potato pasta if they do that well you know the rest they've got their game in order is there what's the tell okay if you see chicken tica masala

on the menu don't eat there don't eat there chicken tica masala doesn't exist that's general child chicken. Yeah, exactly. It's something we made up to get money from the West. So if you, if you're going to an Indian restaurant and you see chicken ticca masala, just don't eat it.

Just the whole place is done. Yeah. This is great. This is all I want it. It's the, it's the green M&Ms from Led Zeppelin's rider. That's it, just chicken ticca masala. If it's on there, then you're in a bad place. If you'd really like good Indian food, here's what I do. And because I know how much you tore. Yeah. I will trade sometimes people tickets for food that their mom cooks from me. Right. You told me. So I'll just be like, I'm coming to Arlington, Texas. Yeah. And please, one of you will pick your mom and she has to cook me dinner. And I'll give you

free tickets. And you'll end up getting DMs with these people by like, this is my mom. And she cooks amazing shit. Yeah. Just pick one and you'll get good. The good hook of that is that you're getting a mom involved. Yes. Because because I bake a lot. Yeah. And I'm on tour, people will bring mysterious bake goods. And my wife I'm like, you don't really eat that, do you? And I'm like, no, but I'm really eating it.

It's good to know that a mom is there that's kind of like, that's like the surgeon general saying, we're not poisoning you. Yeah. Well, thanks, Veer. This was really great. Thank you, my friend. And I'll see you next time you're through. Yep.

Thanks, Aaron. All right, kids, that's the big show. I told you it was a good one. Veer Das. He is legit. Go check out the special and check out all of his stuff. I'm going to go try and find his. Bollywood movie, his Hindi movie.

And also, I'm going to find out if my Indian restaurants are legit or not. Who knew? No chicken masala. It's going to be tough to find. I guarantee there are going to be very few Indian restaurants here that don't have that. And, well, you know, I'm doing my best. All right, guys, thank you for listening and watching. Go to tompapa.com. Look up all of the good stuff. and we'll see you next time.