Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 144 - Kathleen Madigan

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

Kathleen Madigan is Hunting Bigfoot in her new Amazon special and trying to get me to make her some biscuits. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell Everything here is impossible But it's also real Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch Saving those children is how we all go home

From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus It's time for Breaking Red with Papa Hey! Don't you know Hey, it's how we go. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey.

Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I'm Tom Papa. Thank you so much for being here. We have a great one today with Kathleen Madigan. How amazing is that? She's a new special on Amazon hunting Bigfoot. She is hilarious. She's out on tour right now.

She's just one of the. naturally funny comedians out there. Everyone, all my comedian friends, all of my family, everybody loves Kathleen. I love Kathleen. She also brought me some treats, which I'm not going to show you right now. She just left. I'm doing the intro. We're doing it backwards. She gave me some treats. I gave her a beautiful bread. A beautiful bread. I'm honestly, I'm not sure if you're she'll eat it. She might put it in her luggage. She is a road warrior, so maybe she will. This podcast is being brought to you by tompapa.com. No way. Oh my God. I'm out on tour.

I added second shows in Atlanta, a second show in Chicago. We've got Scranton, Dayton. Town Hall is pretty much sold out. The crowds have been amazing. We sold out Foxwoods. We sold out the Kennedy Center. The shows have been great. Thank you for coming. So come out and check me out in the next batch. We're going to Denver. We're going to San Francisco. It's going to be a great year. We have so many great shows. So go to tompapa.com. Look up all of that. Also, if you want to pre-order the book, we're all on this together. So make some room. It is available for pre-sell right now. So you can get your copy. as soon as it comes out, it will be on your doorstep.

You can get that through my website as well. I'm very proud of it. And I can't wait to start doing live book events and stuff like that. And I'll let you know where and when those are when I know where and when those are. But it officially comes out in June. You can pre-order it right now. We are in the middle of a blizzard warning in Los Angeles. So bizarre to even say.

Now, granted, Los Angeles is a massive place. and you have to get up into the mountains, but it's still technically L.A. County, where there might be snow. Here, it is nonstop rain. You may even hear in the interview, some of it smattering down on our roof here at All Things Comedy. It is a bona fide storm, and I am going back home.

I don't have to chore the rest of this weekend, so I will just be making Kathleen's little, treats and baking my ass off. I'm a little heavier than I should be, but with this storm, this is our whole winter, really, is descending upon us right now. So that's where I'm going to be spending my time, just baking my ass off in my house. All right, this is a big healthy one, so let's get right to it. Enjoy Kathleen Madigan, and make sure you go to Amazon and check out her new special. Enjoy. The energy of it is so weird.

I was just saying that when you get a car and you have a special coming out, congratulations on yours, by the way. And you go, you get a car, you go in, they put you in makeup, you go out on the thing. They ask you two questions in three minutes. Thanks for coming. And you're back out of the tour. And everybody's like, hey, but everybody's super alert. Yeah.

Wow, did you guys all get an e-ball in a gift basket that I didn't get it? Not that I would do it, but I don't understand this level of energy. Even when I had a real job out of college, people didn't act like that when I got to work. No, it's that daytime morning daytime TV energy. Yeah. That is just... It doesn't match ours. No, it doesn't.

If it does, there's something wrong with you as a comedian. Well, that's the other problem. I'm a little judgy on that. Yeah, the other problem is that you're not allowed to call bullshit on it. Well, you're there, like... No, you can't. say, well, you have to be thankful you're there and gracious and, yeah, sure, yeah, sure. The only time I ever felt like they woke me up was at The View.

Uh-huh. So, like, are we doing this now? Yeah. Oh, okay, great. So one time, this is a fun, good little, so the View, the host got to pick their favorite comedians. Uh-huh. So Joy picked me, Whoopi picked Earthquake, who I love. He's super old school.

Yeah. One of my, he's a, he's got a new little special, that, uh, Was it Chris Rock? Yeah, he did a half hour on Netflix. Yeah, yeah. But he says to his kids, he goes, I'm an older black man trying to raise young black kids out in the suburbs. It's just not the same.

They ain't cool. They don't get it. I looked at my teenage boy and I go, let's ride, Clyde. He goes, who Clyde? I'm like, you Clyde, dumbass. Just don't even get in the car. Don't even get in the car. You ain't cool.

So Orchquake's old school, you know. Hammer. But when we got to the view, he was like, are we supposed to be doing jokes? I'm like, yeah. Didn't they tell you? You have to do like a six-minute set. It's not a short set even.

Oh, geez. In front of these housewives that are jacked up. In the early morning. It was like 9 a.m. But we're in like hair and makeup like at eight. And then, you know, they're all used to that rhythm. We're just not. Right.

And I really like joy a lot. And whoopi and whoever. Elizabeth Hasselback picked a child. No. Not fair. I mean, we're not winning a prize. I just said like a kid being in my competition. Oh, really?

A kid comedian? No, she was a true child. Oh, no. Like a kid magician. Oh, good she's the, you know, the clean and we got to be. Right. Yeah, all those things I won't say. But anyway, he went first.

And I'm like, you, he's like, why am I? Why? I got to go first fall. All these old white ladies. I go, I don't know, dude. That's just what the schedule says. He goes, switch with me. I go, I will if they'll allow it.

I don't care. And then they were like, no, we have it all arranged. Well, he smoked them. And then I was like, oh, I should have. Now I got to follow that. Following earthquake. But they were the best crowd ever. Yeah.

But as a comedian, I was just shocked. Their reaction was too good. Yeah. Where it was like, but they're so excited. They've waited probably two years to get that ticket. But at least you got to do your thing. Like you were allowed to be a comedian. Yeah, just do my jokes and get out.

I don't need to be part of your weird thing or whatever. Or your very strange panel interview that won't go right. Yeah. Or you would do like those morning ones when you're on the road trying to sell a club. And they bring out like the adopt a pet segment. We're going to throw you in the cooking segment. We're making tortillas. I also love the whole.

So we're not actually going to be in the station. We're going to be at an on location. It's going to be a tire store. And we're giving a ton of it. ton of tires away in Kansas City and I think you're going to really want to be involved, Kathleen. Like, I don't know anything about tires. I'm not, I don't really want to be involved.

It's cold. I know the chiefs, you know, back then they were terrible. I know you're all wild about your chiefs, but they suck. But I'll show up. Is there going to be barbecue? Like, that would be on my schedule. Like, oh, is there going to be a barbecue pork sandwich? Great.

When did you, at what point did you not have to show up and do a ton of morning press? Well, I think you and I are about the same age. Our timing sometimes is accidentally awesome because as I got more sick of it, it started baiting. Right. It was a coincidental goodbye on everyone's part. I mean, there's still.

I didn't have to say no. No, I didn't. Yeah, because it all just, and then I moved out of the club. So the morning radio, then it was phoners. and I just, I'm not physically there, but the phone, but even now, there's only so many morning radios that are effective, I think. Yeah. Unless, you know, you're Hispanic or something, like top three stations in L.A. are all Hispanic.

Right. So urban radio, I still think does great. Right, right. But, you know, otherwise, it just seems like that's kind of done now. Yeah. There's like a smattering of it, like, you know, in certain markets. Certain markets it will help. If I go on Todd and Tyler in the Midwest, they're out of Omaha, and they're syndicated through like four states.

So they'll be of help. Right. I'll do my friends. Yeah. Right. People are still hanging all. Right. John Debella.

Yeah. I'll always answer his call. There's certain people. Dino in Columbus. Like there's certain people. They've been nice to you on the way. They've been nice the whole time and they're still there just trying to get through five more years and retire. And you're like, you know what?

they need somebody to call in, I'll do it. Yeah. You know who just retired was, where he split from the station was Tom Bernard from Minnesota. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a big presence up there forever. Yeah. Yeah, now he's done too. The one in Detroit that sold me the most tickets ever was Dick Parton.

Yeah. Now, he's been retired for quite some time. Right. He'll still come and see me at Royal Oak, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he still comes out. Yeah. Yeah.

So it was, I feel like that's kind of, and in a good way and a bad way. Yeah. Like I, I liked half that I probably went and did and the other half I just found, I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. Not so much fun. Maybe, I don't know, misogynistically weird. I was just going to say, did you ever walk in when they were having like the wrap up of their stripper contest?

Yeah, yeah. They were like, hey, do you mind of you just, could you just photocopy, your whole boobs for us. I'm like, what? Like, somebody asked me in Miami to do that. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not going to do that. Is there anything else you need for me today?

Because it's going to probably be solid. Still trying to sell the late show on Friday. This is not the town for me, and I never went back. Message received. I'm not in all it. So I didn't go back there. You're like, why were we here? Yeah, what was the whole?

And why did you? guys at the improv do that to me. Right, exactly. Why did you pick me up? And then there was a thing, I don't know if you remember them in Houston. There was a Stevens and Pruitt. And they were kind of like Howard Stern wannabes. But there was a lot during that era, probably a lot.

Like 10 cities where you're like, oh, okay. This is their Howard. Their version of Howard. Right. There were always the Letterman wannabes and then the Howard want to bees. But the Howard ones took it too far. Like one day I was just sitting in a station. it was Houston and the club guy came with me but he was kind of like on drugs a lot or whatever

and these women came in with donuts like but they definitely were super hot women or strippers I don't know if they're just hot women with donuts or the strippers and they have a man with them with donuts there's a dude with them who's like their wrangler right and stephens and but words were exchanged, whole fist fight broke out. Animalistic fist fight and the strippers are donuts flying. Like it was something if you saw it in a movie, you'd be like, no, that would never happen. No, it happened. And I just hid in the corner with Mark, the guy from the improv, and I go, I'm, I, you know, I'm not even, at the time, I'm like 38.

I'm not like an old person. Yeah. But I'm just not signing up for this anymore. Right. No, the answer is no. If you don't want to book me because I won't go to this station, then. Yeah, yeah. There's going to be five less people.

And what people are coming to my show that listen to this show. Right, right. They had a whole segment about all the guns they own. You know, it just kept going further into this crazy world of, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's good. Well, your special Hunting Bigfoot. Yes.

On the Amazon's. It's on the Amazon. This has got to be, I think it's, I think I looked it up. It's your 50th special, which is great. Exactly. I've done one a year since I was a baby. Since you were a baby and you keep cranking them out. I'm the worst, though.

There's people that crank out a lot more than me. I was just in Foxwood's last weekend. At the casino. At the casino. And your picture was all over the place. Oh, okay. You're going there. I don't know if you know that, but you're going to be going there soon.

I am aware. Yes, I'm aware. And it had the box wine and banjos. Well, that's the tour name. That's the tour name. Yeah. Right. Which we all know.

None of that's real either. The tour. I know. Just put my big face up there. This has been going on for 35 years. What is the differentiation between me from May and July? But it's not like we're Black Sabbath and we took eight years off. Right.

Charternei took 14 years off. There are people that do that. And then when they come back, they should have a name. Yeah. Because I don't even know who you are anymore. The Such and Such Tour. The I'm Back Tour. I started that, like, I don't know if you notice, but when you move, when you move from

clubs to theaters, then they're like, well, we can't have the poster be the same. It's all about the poster. Yeah. I'm like, what do you mean you need a tour name? It's Kathleen Madigan telling jokes. It's the same stuff. I mean, they're not the same jokes, but the same kind of topics. You talk about your wife and your kids and your life and I talk about my family and the

Midwest. They like the differentiation of, this is. new. Yeah. There was that part of me. I used to think, like, why aren't we more like bands? Like, why don't I, why don't I have a tour and have a name and also have half the year off? Well, they take a lot more than a half year, depending on the band. I was like those bands. I mean, that's the way to do it. Right, but we're not as rich as Ozzy Oswald. That's why I never happened. You didn't write crazy trains. Tom.

You wrote jokes about your mom and dad. Yeah, I have a funny joke about my dad. And your kids being mean girls. You haven't written, yeah, no, I don't know, but I don't think comedians ever rolled like, we never did all that. And now they want us to do that. So I'll go ahead and participate, whatever you all want. It looked great.

You want a new poster? No problem. It looked great. I pulled in and there you were up in the big marquee. Yeah, and that particular picture I look angelic because there's a light coming right on the top of crown on my head. It's a nice thing. This I've ever looked this far.

It's like sweet. Right. No, I find that part kind of exhausting, but they like it. I get it. They don't want to put up the same posters. So let's say you and me come every 18 months. Right. They don't, oh, here's Tom at Foxwood's again.

They want something different. Yeah, they want to jazz it up. But really, probably a third of my stuff is going to be the same. A third's going to be brand new. Right. A third will be a mishmash of, I am not one of the, these people that can go, oh, my special's on, I can't ever do those jokes again. Right. I know.

Oh, I'm doing them. And you're going to like them. But I would say if I get, not that I'm comparing myself to her, but I go see Stevie Nix every time she goes on the road. Yes, you better sing landslide. Right. Or I'm leaving early. Yeah, exactly.

And boom, I won't buy that $80 T-shirt. I will leave it right there in my seat. There's a, there's a, I'd go out and sign books a lot of times after the show. And people come up all the time. why didn't you do the such and such joke? Well, that was from before. Or they say, we see you every time you come. And I'm like, oh, I hope I showed you some new stuff.

And they look at you like, why would you do that? Yeah, we just said we see you every time. What do you mean? It doesn't mean anything to them. No. Yeah. I have a lot of Catholic followers. And in my life, I thought I wrote all the Catholic jokes I could.

I'm done now. You know my opinion. You know my stance. compared to my moms or my dad's or, but I have so many of them that I feel obligated, like I need to, I need to get into what the Pope's up to a little bit more. I need to, I need to, I need to step it up.

But I always figure if it doesn't get to me, it didn't get to my fans either, right? Right, right? Like, we're not all in on Catholic News on Fridays, on the website, like we, yeah, I don't know. But I feel like if you do, say we're going to go see a band. If they did a third, a third,

a third and a third. Third new, third old, third mishmash. Yeah. I'd be happy. Yeah. The opposite. When they do that third new, you're like, what are you doing? Well, that's weird, yeah.

You got to make sure that third new is good. The Steve Miller band came to my college, and he was going through a jazz phase. Oh, no. And he refused to play all his other stuff and emptied the gymnasium. My mom Talking about somebody who's like So I did this benefit with Tony LaRosa and St. Louis for his R foundation And he always overbooks a show

But I've said this to his face so it's not like breaking news But he loves 70s rock Comedy and Country Those are his things I don't know how Bruce Hornsby fits into that I don't know But he was like the closer And my mom on a Blackberry

So 15 years ago She's like how long is this man going to play this piano? My feet are freezing. Are we in an actual ice arena? Tell me the truth. She's texting you. I said, yes, Mom.

It's a family arena. This was ice last night. That's why your feet are cold. And I have no idea how long this man's going to play. But it was some like bluegrass offshoot of a song. No one, it wasn't walking in Memphis. It wasn't, no, no, no. It was some crazy.

And I'm like, oh, my. And my mom's like, well, I feel exceptionally responsible because we're your parents, we can't walk out on it a benefit. But if I could walk, but I can't because my feet are frozen and your father's feet are frozen, we would get to hell out of here. I go,

Mom, you're free to go. Just leave. Bruce won't notice. Trust me. Nobody's going to notice a Jack and Vicki Madigan bolted out of row 80. Did you see on the Jumbotron? I love how she asked the question and says, tell me the truth. I know you're going to lie

first. Yeah, your first thing is settle down, calm down. I'm going to BS her on some level. She just wants it all flat out. But yeah, I don't, I feel like if we go see a concert, they should play what we know. Yeah. But if we do jokes, they know, and then they're going to go, well, there was nothing new here. But I've never, I've heard critics say that.

I never heard fans say that. I never heard humans, actual non, snooty. Because, you know, when you go with your friends, if you doing something and you get to see, you're at a festival or something and you see your friend do a joke. Like when I would tour with Jerry or, you know, see friends at the comedy. You want to see the, like, every time. Louis Anderson, I always wanted to hear, well, they were like a lot. But one of them, just because it's so random, he goes, my father was totally racist,

but it was like about races, nobody cares about really. Like, he would go, just remember, as a family, we hate Norwegians. It's so random. And then he would go into this big thing about why his father thought Swedish people were better than Norwegians. But like that's just such a tiny, tiny fight in Minneapolis. It's got nothing to do with the rest of us. But if he didn't do that, I would miss it. Yeah, you want to see it.

It's fun. And it's fun to watch the audience react to it. Especially if they brought new people. They're like, this is the one. This is the one I'm saying about. So I don't know. We'll just get old and figure it out. You're right.

Yeah. What did you bring me? Oh my God. So I brought you because you cook. I do not cook. Yeah, I baked you this bread. I thank you. I was like, wait, Tom's show.

I've seen you on YouTube where you're actually cooking. And I'm like, do I have to cook? Like, I can't. I need to call it. Call it. I text him and go, dude, I can't do this. So this is Jim in Nick's barbecue cheese biscuits. Whoa.

It's a Nashville delight. I don't know them. Make it for the kids. Oh, make it for you and your wife. A biscuit mix. Yep. And then this is very exciting. I think this is a really good, because it's raining.

I think you need some cornbread. Ooh, perfect. Yeah. It might be below your level of cooking, but. There's no such thing. And this is more of the cheese biscuit. You're so sweet. You didn't have to do this.

Well, you like to cook. I do like to cook. I don't. I can care less. What do you eat at home? You're at home, off the road. Uber eats. Uber eats.

Yeah, I know. No, I don't. ever cook. I don't even really grow because I'm afraid of gas. I'm afraid. I have this big thing and I know it costs money and all that, but I'm terrified of it. If you turn it on, it's going to explode. The whole house is going to blow up. What food did you grow up with? Well, I don't think people believe me when I say this, but I'm 100% serious. Like, we were so Midwest. So my dad, yesterday, my dad turned 82. Wow. And he will die at whatever age he will never have eaten Mexican, Chinese, Thai, don't even get crazy on raw.

Sushi? No, that's even worse. Yeah. At least, you know, no. No, I mean, it was Midwest, roast beef. My mom had like 10 things to pick from. That's why she went slowly crazy. That's why in the 70s, Vicki Madigan went over the edge.

And I would have, too. She legit went over the edge? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But it should be the first one to tell you about it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just decided I'm drinking morning, noon, and night.

Two packs of cools a day. Wow. Yeah. And she was a nurse. She was. Functioning. Functioning. Showing up for work.

Yeah, she would time all that. You know, it was a timing thing. But yeah, she just... She's a professional. I said, I would have lost... There's a lot of women in the 70s that lost their minds because of the situation. I remember saying, why didn't you just leave and go by your own house? She's like, well, because you couldn't get a credit card in your own name.

Oh, my God. Until 1976. What? A woman couldn't do that. A woman couldn't buy a house without a man signing. What? Like, people act like Saudi Arabia and all that. Like, well, it ain't that long ago.

We were kind of doing all that. Couldn't get a credit card? A credit card? In the 70s. Ask your mom. Wow. Yeah. So we think that's been going on.

Like somebody in my age is like, I'm looking at people in the 20s. Why don't you get a credit card? Right. They're like, we couldn't even vote! You know, like, oh my God. Wow. So she had 10 things to pick from to cook, but they were great. Yeah.

Her spaghetti was my grandma's. Dynamite. Right. Fried chicken, but I knew the menu. It's like a Catholic grade school menu, but at home. And I hope they didn't match. I'm like, I don't want spaghetti at school and then at home. Like I hope her, I hope she's fried chicken.

Roast beef hit it three nights. a week. Roast beef? Three nights a week? Mashed potatoes, peas. Wow. Dad was happy. Yep.

Meat guy. Meat, barbecue on weekends. Would she send you to school with lunch? Or was it? Oh, we made our own. There's seven of us. We burned jelly in a bag. Nothing.

You were irresponsible for your own lunch in the morning? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing this for all of you. No, it's too many people. You know where the stuff is. Right. Like, although she's got, now that she's gotten older and we're all out and all that.

Yeah. And they have, my mom's always had this thing in her head. I think it's like something from her parents, some depressionary thing that she thinks she's on a budget. Uh-huh. But she's not. It's made up. Right.

It's a Germanic, like, Opus Day whipping that she does to herself at the grocery store. And I'm like, what, who are you kidding, mom? You and dad, you can spend whatever you want. Right. You're all right. You have my credit card. Well, I'm not spending that on eggs. It's like her against the man.

I go, but the man's not playing, Mom. No man's involved. There's no corporation that's out to get you and dad. Just get what you want. Get the good granola. Right, do it. No. The only thing they'll go over their edge on is the dog food.

Because the dog. No. Yeah. They'll do specialty dog food, but skimp on themselves. It's a Yorkie, too, in that whole gang. I'm just saying I like their dog, but the Yorkie people as a group are a little over the top. If you go on Instagram, every one of them has an outfit on. They're dressed in tuxedos.

It's not like beagle owners where they're like, here's my beagle or whatever it is. You can see him. He's in that doghouse out there. Yeah, he's over there under the car eating a cat. But when she got older, she cooked really. really good. She did? Yeah, but it was like, I swear to God, she made chicken picata one night. Uh-huh.

And she really followed the recipe. It was great. My dad's like, oh, hey, ho. We're getting off track here. What's the Spacata thing? Yeah. Oh, hey, ho. Because, like, in St. Louis, this is very old school ethnic.

The Irish and the Italians live together in one neighborhood in St. Louis. And we had our wakes at their restaurants because we don't know how to cook. Oh. So the Italians, but they also knew that we weren't like superfoodies. Right. Or more drinky-drinkies. So they would bring out like just, I don't know, like the basics. Spaghetti, giant bowl.

Meatballs. Meatballs. And then my dad go, have you had the food down at Lombardo's? I'm like, yeah, you know, in retrospect, I'm like, it was pretty good. Drowning in red sauce. Oh, like any kind of thing without red sauce, he'd be like, well, wrong. Not Italian. You're not the real Italians.

Yeah, that's a caper. No, he has no idea. But when that's your leader, for all those years, I don't think I had sushi until I moved here to L.A. when I was 25. Right. Other comics, do you want to go for sushi? I'm like, I don't know. My dad always said, like, that'll kill you.

And they're like, what? We go every Tuesday. I'm like, okay, I'll try it. But to get out of that mindset, it's not. Yeah, we're definitely not. What was her fried chicken really good? Her fried chicken was great. Yeah.

My Irish grandma who had no money, she just learned how to cook with no money. Like all the grandmas back then were like bone marrow for her could make a million things. Right. soup, all this crazy stuff. My grandma's food was dynamite. Every morning my grandpa had two fried eggs, bacon. He never ate bread. He was like, no, he decided that make you fat. But he was a laborer, a pipe fitter. But I thought he ate that every day. and he lived to 87. Yeah, he's not that wrong. I think it's, yeah.

Your genetics plus all that. I don't think it's like necessarily, if eggs and bacon are going to kill you, then he should have died way before that. Like, there wasn't anything fancy. Right. I wish for a food show, I could, that's what was so, but the other hand is when I was 25,

a whole new world was open to me. Yeah. I'd never had Chinese food. and then like the Mexican in St. Louis would have been like a chain like Casa Galardo. And then I remember when I came out here and I went with comics down to Tijuana and we got lunch. I was like, oh, this is not Mexican. This is terrible. This isn't even anything like, no, you guys, this is bad.

We need to get out of here. And they were like, Kathleen, I never heard of Mola sauce. Yeah. I never heard of any of it. That was the older generations, they weren't cooking to be creative. They were cooking to feed their six kids every single day. A ton of people. Yeah.

And how do I give the last four things the butcher had? My grandma would say I go at five. Yeah. Because then he's got whatever's left over and it's all half price or whatever. And then she just throw it on. But she had a talent for that. Right. My mom, she had a father.

the instructions, but I mean, she got older, she started doing good, but then she also got tired, and then she's like, why am I cooking just for him? Then she just quit. I'm like, oh, wow, you're bowing out. You were doing so good. It's so funny to picture your dad there while she's saying that. Why am I just cooking for him? Hey. Well, then he just sat there with the newspaper going, well, I'll go out. Like, he's game. He'll go out. But even out, like, if we made him go to the Mexican restaurant, well, do they have hamburgers. And then I'd have to Google

Discosia Lord. Yeah. Yeah, Dad, you can get a hand. Well, I'm fine. I'll go. Like, he's up for the thing. Yeah. He's just not, he is not eating that.

Who's the funnier one? Are they funny at all? Yeah. He's funnier as a normal social person. Uh-huh. She, one day on the golf course, she goes, just out of nowhere.

She goes, do you think I'm autistic? I go, well, if you have to ask. I go, spectrum, me, mom. Why do you say that? Why would you say that? I go, is this the conversation we want to have on the eighth hole? Do you want to finish your nine hole lady league? And then we'll have a talk about this later.

She goes, no, I want to know. I go, well, you're socially awkward. Here's my impression of me at my mom's golf league. I walk behind her and say to other people what she really meant. was. And then she goes, well, why can't I just say what I think? I go, this is all part of your spectrum. Right.

She doesn't, there's no filter. No filter. Not aware. Not really intact. No, he's Mr. Good Time Charlie. Yeah. He's a, I'm him edited by a lot. I must say that for the right.

But my dad's a funny guy at a wedding. Right. He's got a good story. It's a little too long. Right. Yeah. But he's so. Like, she in text and stuff, it is funny how people are funny in text.

My mom's the funniest person I've ever read. But you also, not intentionally. I can't retweet those. I can't. No, I mean, they're dark. Oh, really? They're so poor. Really?

They're dark. Yeah, there's an underbelly there that you just go, oh, we're not going to show this to everybody, are we? That's a funny thing that's just like. But she's smarter. Yeah. Than all of us. Oh, yeah.

And my dad would agree. My dad was a lawyer and a judge. He goes, whatever. I bullshitted my way through all that. Your mother's 50,000 times smarter than any of us. And he's not wrong. Right. It doesn't.

Right. Socially. Yeah. Yeah. It's not going to get you that far. No, I try to, like if there's an event, I try to. Yeah. Yeah.

But then he's too long-winded. Like, I did some benefit in St. Louis. And it was in always the year of Ozys, of, uh, oh, Sammy Sosha and Mark McGuire, right? So my dad was totally convinced the ball was juiced, and this was all to get people back after the union, the strike guy, and it's all bullshit, blah, blah, blah. Well, I did a benefit in Ozzie Smith is there,

and he's the nicest man ever, and he does so many nice things for St. Louis. He's a wonderful person. Yeah. And I see him walking over towards Ozzy, and I know he's got the juice ball thing, right? It's like when your dad's got a thing, and that's his thing for the whole summer about baseball.

Yeah. And I told Patrick, I go, light a cigarette and go over and burn him get him away from Ozzy and and Pat's like what what what I go I am serious I go get him away because he's going to do the juice ball thing because I hear my dad going I mean you're a little guy what you hit like a couple home runs but now with the ball don't you think you could hit like 50 oh no oh no Ozzy accommodates it all but at least yeah my dad is trying right right my mom He's got a thing. No, she walked up to Chuck Berry. He was at that St. Louis deal. He was an icon guy, but he's a big gambler. And she goes, how weird is this?

But he responded. She goes, I've seen you at the slot machines over in St. Charles. And I think you should be paying the $5 machines, not the $1. And he looked at her. He goes, he's right. You're right, little lady. You're right. And then he walked away.

I go, that's the only time she's socially connected properly. Right, with a madman. With a crazy person, yes. Like he said he was in soul that back that it was not a good situation. I'm like, wow. Okay, so. Do they like to see you perform? Oh, they love it.

They bring all their friends. Yeah. In Sarasota the last time, probably six months ago. They're somebody at the, they live in a place in Sarasota. It's called something ranch. It's a golf course and a community, which is great. Yeah. Because I feel like, I don't.

I don't know about your parents, but I don't feel like my parents made a lot of friends. Mm-hmm. Because there were too many of us and work. Right. They weren't showing up to all the activities. Yeah. They didn't seem to have that. Uh-huh.

And then they go down there and everybody's in the clubhouse. Oh, they're like college students. They've made friends. They lie to me a lot. They go through Nashville with a car with dirty clothes and a dog. Like, I feel like everything is very good. What do they lie to you about? Oh.

I wouldn't say. I'd use my dad's lawyer tactics. I wouldn't say it was a lie, but it was maybe lying by omission. Right, not telling you what? What are you all really doing? And yeah, they leave things out. But it's fine.

I mean, you know what? Whatever they knew to do to stay happy at this point, I'm all in. But the, I forgot what I was saying this. The ranch thing. Oh, so they, somebody at the golf course, was like, oh, Kathleen is performing in Sarasota at the Van Weasel.

You've probably been there, right? So somebody got not like a rock and roll tour bus with bunks. Like a real, like we're going to go see the mountains in Canada and all be seeded in a bus. That kind of touring bus. Okay. A touring bus is a better. Yeah. And then they showed up.

And the security guard comes back stage. He goes, he goes, are you Kathleen? I go, yeah. He goes, your mama name Vicky? I'm like, oh, no. What? I go, yeah. But I know this can be good.

He goes, whatever? There are a whole shitload of them out on a bus, and I don't think they all got Vax cards or IDs? I go, what? Really? Okay. I'll be out. I'll be our out front.

I go up front. And my dad goes, why would we have identification? We're like a hundred. No one asks anymore. He goes, why do we need identification? I go, do you have Vax cards?

Or some of us do. I mean, we've all been Vax. We're 80. Everybody here's terrified. Of course we've, I go, yeah, I know, dad, but you kind of, it was at that time, it was at that time where you needed to show it. So anyway, we got it. And then he goes, after the show, they all sat in one section. They bought their tickets.

So compared to sometimes our parents don't do that. I was like, wow. Can you get me 20 tickets? Or when it's not even, when they're not even there, I got a friend in Washington. Oh, I already have, I already know for Red Bank. My mom's got a friend. She'll write the name down later and let me know. Well, it's in two weeks.

So whenever you want to shoot that to me, mom. It's somebody's kids. They're all in Florida and they gang up and then they talk about what their kids are doing. So, well, and then it's, do you know, every comedian I knew, Steve Byrne, well, my mom and dad are down. Yeah, I got you, Steve. Oh, really? He's Steve Byrne Sr. No problem.

I got them down. I got them down. Everybody's, every comic's parents are down there. You're like, I'm going to do a giant meet and greet with all my friends. Right. But they, yeah, then he goes, so the show's finishes, and I said, stay in your seats, and I'll come out and say hi and blah, blah, blah. So I go out, he goes, is there any way you could get on the bus and, you know.

Say hello. I go, you want me to do a set on the bus? I just did an hour and 15 minutes. Well, not that's, you know, not like jokes per se, but if you just kind of, you know, I go, I got it. I got you. I got you. So I made him do a role. call and I go like there's

Girl Scouts and I go because if there's one crazy crazy one of you motherfuckers left back here and we have to get Gladys out of the bathroom at two in the morning I'm not doing it right so let's count how many people came on the bus 59 home alone

yeah yeah so yeah it's funny it's nice it is good because I have met comics that have said yeah I just that would be awful I think it is weird maybe not as awful as I think after hearing all the family request week.

Yeah. Maybe it'd be. Yeah. But it'd be weird. It is funny. It is funny. Yeah, it would definitely be weird. It's like a whole other world.

I couldn't really imagine. Do your mom and dad come? Oh, yeah. They show up. Same thing. Friends, green room. We're just going to come back and say hello five minutes before the show with 25 people. Is that all right?

See, I say after. I do too. But sometimes. They want to come. They're excited. They bring all their friends. are you going to do the book signing thing at the end? Oh, they don't want to wait.

They don't want to wait the extra. Sometimes it's an hour. Yeah. I get it. So I'm kind of beyond thinking I need to be before or like whatever. Whatever works for that. I've kind of, you know. You know, like.

Okay. So somebody once gave me a book about boundaries. Uh-huh. I have failed all the chapters. I want to write a book called folding. Right. Like what you're saying is. is you just...

Folding. You didn't stick up for yourself. No. You didn't say, I would like to not have people back here. I'm trying to kind of look at notes. Not that I'm serious. I'm not very serious person about all this, but I just want to see what I said last time,

and maybe I have some new... Just five minutes. Nope. You fold it. Totally. We're going to write a book called folding. But you know what? There's definitely...

I don't think there's anything wrong. Like with your parents, these people that love the show. shit out of you and are coming to these shows and doing it. Hannah, whatever you want. You can all pick around wherever you want. You want to come backstage.

I told them, but I would prefer that, especially with the older people, because they are one and out. They don't linger. And they don't, a lot of them don't drink anymore. Right. That all got weird. You won't go with the medications.

Got you, got you, take your edible before you go to bed. Yeah. So they're pretty fast backstage. Yeah. So I wouldn't mind beforehand, But they, I think my dad likes the idea of, the key. Well, he like show, he, he's proud of me.

So he wants them to see what I do. And then have the buzz. Yeah, because if you don't see what I did, you just meet this lady backstage. It's his kid. Right. I'm no different than the lady that was golfing this afternoon. I'm the same lady. There's nothing that's happened that makes me like a thing.

Yeah. Right. To them. But back to the folding thing. there's so many young people that shit on older generations now of like and I said to somebody I think it was my my niece or somebody and I was like what happened to like just respect your elders and she was like she goes yeah we don't do that yeah and it was like that's not that cool you know there's a I understand there's wrongs that you want to write and all that kind of stuff but also

Mr. Bailey was is 80 and whatever him and his wife have done to be alive up to this point that's to be respected that they can follow their way through this muddled difficult life and that they're there now. I just said it. I said it to Joe the other day. I go, the sentence, because somebody said something where I said, holy God, You would have the balls to say that to someone that much older than you. I can't remember what it was, but in the context, whatever.

I said, I don't know if it was Catholic school or whatever, but respect your elders meant to me, shut your mouth no matter what they say. Right. They're older than you. Yeah. Now, you can go home and have a conversation about that with your parents and say, hey, I heard our neighbor, Mr. Schnicklegey saying some crazy-ass shit. I didn't say nothing to him. Yeah. Because you can't.

And I don't. There is that thing. It's not signing. Respecting them doesn't mean you're signing off on their agenda. No, it means I respect. You've lived this long to have your opinions. And I haven't. Right.

That's right. I haven't lived longer than you. Exactly. My dad said to a young cop who pulled him over the cop was like, well, how do you think you know more than me? And my dad goes, well, because I'm twice as old as you. So I've been on this planet. And therefore I know that I know double what you know, just by the fact. I've been here.

Yeah. And it's true that, like, I don't think we should, you know, worship him or nothing, but I think there's a respect level that, like, if I go golf with my dad's friends and stuff, they'll say stuff that you just go, boy, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. But I'm not going to, I'm never going to say. Right. But my dad knows I won't. Right, right.

I'm not going to, and we get in the car and laugh about it. Yeah. You believe so-and-so said that. And sometimes he's like, right, right, right. Yeah, they don't. Yeah. Do you like seeing the fans after the show, like other than your parents and stuff? Do you ever, did you have a period where you went out and saw them?

No. Here's the thing. I go out in town. Right. I call it Find the Lepricon. And tons of people find me. Right. And if you know me, you're going to narrow it down, especially if we're in a small town.

If we're in Milwaukee, use your brain. And I'm not ever going to twist you up on that. Like, I'm not going to lead you to leave on this person, and then I'm at the Ritz Carlton. No, no, no. I'm definitely down wherever there's a Bratworth and some crappy one. Yeah, and some sourcrout. Like, I meet so many people on the road, but, like, I have gone out.

But the problem is, in a great way, whoever has signed up to be a fan of mine, they want to talk a lot. Uh-huh. And that's fine. but I'm not, again, I don't have boundaries. So if you want to speak for an hour, I'm going to let you. Right.

Yeah, I'm a folder. And then it could be like normal. And if I had a tour bus or a private jet, maybe I would do that. But normally, I leave that night. Right. And I'm like, if I go out there, that's another hour and a half to two hours. Otherwise, I'm rude. Right.

And I'm just going to buzz on down the road. Right. And I'll be in bed by the time all that would have happened. Right. Right, right, right. It's not that I don't like do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wish someday, maybe when I decide, okay, this is the end, I'll do it.

Right. It's like a. Well, because it's fun, but it's also like. It's another level. It's another thing. It's another show. I did, I do, a lot of times, like I said, I'll sign books and be out there. And it is nice.

It is a nice thing to like, when the show is at a manageable size and it's not going to be, you know. Right. It's nice to see, like, who they are and where they came from. and they're so grateful and you can't believe like. Right. It means so much to them and it's, it's, and it's controlled. You're going to come in, we're going to have a little thing and the next person is going to come. A couple weeks ago took someone up on meet me, meet us at the bar.

It was like someone who was like within the, not a fan, but somebody who's like kind of, and this guy talked, it was an assault. It was a verbal assault. Yeah. of just. It can happen. And like, it was the folding. It was like, I have to get out of here. Like, how do I?

How do I? How do I? There's no end. There's no next guy. No. Yeah. That social bar setting I can't do. The bar part to me is better because there's only a few. Uh-huh.

Like in Green Bay, there's a bar called St. Brendan's. Everybody knows. That's where I'm going to go. Right. It's the only bar. There's nothing in Green Bay. And it's a great Irish bar. Yeah.

Like the Guinness is top shelf. It's so good. But I remember, like, I've gone in there and really drank a ton with fans. And I had a wonderful time. They were just normal people. It was a, you have to be, I didn't have anywhere to go to the next day. Right. So then I'm okay.

Like, that's fine. Yeah. Here's where I'm going to be. If you're, if you happen to be there, I don't put that on Twitter. Like, I'm going to be here if you happen to be here. But if they happen to know me and they happen to go, hey, can we, I always say, no, don't buy me a drink. I got my own drinks.

Yeah. If you want to, you know, cheers a drink. Finding me. It's like, I'm out there. Don't act like, it's, that's on you. It's like a Pokemon thing. Yeah, you can find me. I don't hide. It was interesting to watch Ron White retire. Yeah, it's weird, right?

It was, yeah, because you don't, it really struck me that you don't see comedians do that. I will. Yeah. I will. It was kind of nice. It's refreshing. He just made his mind and had a great run. And this is very cool.

And rather than just peter out and keep doing weird gig, like there was a nobility to it. I respect it. Johnny Carson did it. And nobody ever judged him. I feel like we're now in this era where if you don't keep working, you don't keep getting on social media, people are like, when you just won't fold our book.

Like Johnny Carson quit and we never saw him again, except in Wimbledon. Right. You see him, but that was even rare. Yeah. Like, you never even saw him.

Like, he's out in Malibu somewhere and... Right. But as a Midwest person, all dads retired at 65. Right. And moms too. Yeah.

Like, that's when you should quit working. Right. You're done now. You don't want... So Ron came up during the pandemic for like a while, like three weeks. Oh, really? Yeah, but also there's a golf course by my house so he can put his tour bus up there

and he, He doesn't have to live in my house. He did. But then I'm like, when I got sick of him, I'm like, can you go to your bus for a while? Like, get out of here. But we were sitting on the deck one night and every day we had golfed. Right. During the pandemic, because we're in Nashville, Tennessee, no one.

Well, first of all, golf's outside. Yeah. But even in the clubhouse, there's an outdoor. You could sit there and have beers and we wave at the people at the next table. Like, we were still having a great time. It wasn't like L.A. or New York where it was like full on. Yeah. We were just doing this stuff we normally do with no pandemic.

Right. It's not the touring part. No, we're just going to get in the fishing boat. We're going to go, nobody, who's got? Yeah. But he goes, isn't it amazing how seamlessly we've slipped into retirement and don't even care? He goes, I think the show part was the only part preventing me from true fun. And I said, yeah, that getting in the shower at 6 o'clock.

Yeah. That part, when you were on a boat in Seattle looking at all the cool waterhouses and stuff, and then you're like, shit, I got to go back because I got a thing. I got a thing. We love traveling. Mm-hmm. But the show part, and Rob's like at some point, I'm just out of shit to say. And I respect that.

Yeah. At some point, we are all out of shit to say. Not the super, not a David Bowie, not a sting, but I'm never that. Yeah. I'm, you know, the lady in the middle. Like, I got, I got, I got to scoop me through here. Yeah, here's some funny stuff. I'm good.

Like, there, yeah. I think it's normal. It is normal, but it's, but it's, but it's, no one in, you don't, you don't, Not in... Not in comedy. Not in entertainment. Right. Because the musician people, they're 75.

And I mean, I love Stevie Nix, but... What it? Yeah. Really? Well, the other weird thing now that you're saying it... Is 75. Is that... The rock people don't quit.

They don't. Nope. They die. Yeah. Because there's... Well, Ron goes... Because their life is... Like, they don't know, like, what the other life is.

It's got to be so foreign. But it's weird, though, because think about it, though, because it's weird, because it's weird, because they went home way more than we did. A lot more. A lot more. So like, okay, Fleetwood Mac, what'd you all do with your year and a half off while you're fighting? Yeah, right. We never had that except COVID because they were forced to.

Yeah, that was the only time. But what did you all do? Or maybe they hated it. They might have. Aerosmith. All these bands would reappear, then appear, then every time my mom, my mom would go, I think you should have a new special. you haven't had one since whatever, 2018.

I go, Mom, Charday didn't have an album for 12 years, and her mom didn't bitch at her. And she's like, who? What? I'm like, I knew that sentence would be confusing. But just trust me, I'm right. There are, not that I'm Charday. Yeah.

But I think those people had more time off than we've ever had. Yeah. And they can't live without the road. Yeah. Look at them all. Yeah. Billy Joel. These are people over.

Foreigner, deaf leopard. I mean, it goes on and on. Even all, even like the temptations. Well, now it's like their grandkids and nobody even knows. Nobody cares. Nobody knows. Like, oh, here's the, you know, you're right. Smokey Robinson.

Comedians, though, think about it. You could only keep going, I think, until over 75 if you were a legend. Well, I mean, I guess you could keep going, but it wouldn't be pretty. Yeah. If you're Don Rickles. Yeah. Joan Rivers. But you had to be like a megastar.

Right. But even Ron, like, so people that might not know. So Ron White was one of the blue collar guys. It was like him and Larry, the cable guy in Foxworthy and then Billingville, all very, very famous in their own time and space. But like Ron's like, there comes a time when it just, it winds down. And you need to know when the time is winding down. And I respect, because let's say he had kept going, it's going to get weird.

Yeah. Because his fans, his actions. He doesn't have the young, he doesn't have the next group and the next group. Right, right. Because he didn't do a podcast. He didn't, he didn't. Yeah. He was riding off that.

Right. Well, those people are also 65. Right. And so at 75, are they going to want to go out? Yeah. Yeah. Right. You have to be a megastar to keep doing that.

Right. Or have another hit with another generation. Right. But how do you do that? Right. Now it was cool. It was a cool thing. And it's cool because it's kind of like the,

it's like when you watch your favorite sports, sports guys. Like when they go out at the right time, it's so great. It's like you didn't have to see Fat Ali getting punched in the face. No, we don't want to see all that. Even my favorite sportscasters, Bob Lee, ESPN, I'm good. Yeah. Like the Disney thing and he got a trophy.

He's like, Like, yeah, I'm good. Right, right. But I respected that. Like, do you want to keep going in the, if you have the money? Right. Like, Ron's got the money. Like, okay.

I know I'll have the money by then. Like, uh, he's good. What? This is, we had a really serious talk about when I'd, I go, he was like, I think I'm just done. Maddie, I think I'm just done. I go, let me, this is a very, um, just easy question. Do you ever want to spend in your life? You're, because we all, he got freaked out by Norm MacDonald dying and Bob Sagitt dying.

Ron really got shaken by that. He goes, I don't ever want to be found in a hotel. I go, I don't ever want to be found dead. Let's stop that. Yeah, I know. I don't know what that was all about. Like, you just think you're going to be, I hope somebody's there. I know.

I just did a bit about this when I was in, Wisconsin, and I was getting, I was minus eight. And I was in the parking garage and the ticket wouldn't work. And I literally just did it. a run about Tom Papa was found frozen in the parking garage. I don't want to be found dead. Anywhere. Yeah, anywhere. I want somebody with me when I die. I don't care who it is. It could be the neighbor. We found Kathleen. I don't want to be found. That means I was alone. Things got really weird. Like it was a mistake. I said, okay, Ron, you're 65. So these other guys have all died.

Time is limited on earth. Yeah. His mom's, his dad died super young. He's, he's, clearly past that like heart attack deal, range, if you want to say that's a thing. His mom's alive in 87 or something. So, okay, you might have her longevity, but you didn't behave the way she behaved. Right. Right. You behaved quite poorly.

Quite poorly. X, X, X, you get a lot of nuns slashing on that. Yeah. I go, just answer this one question. Would you ever want to spend one more day of your life in and then fill in the blank, Toledo, Ohio? Uh-huh.

He goes, now. I go, how about Dayton? Now. And I just rattled off a hundred cities. It's not specific to those two. I'm going to Dayton next week. It's not just, it's not just. I know what you mean.

He goes, now. I go, then why would you stay on the road? Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, what about for the people? Huh? What about for the people? Oh, Ron don't care about that.

No. Ron doesn't give a flying shit. Because Rod would go, I gave them 30 years of my life, and I told them every story that was true and embarrassing and humiliating. And he's right. I feel like he's right. The people enjoy you. You know, one person that I always really enjoyed was Chris Christopherson.

I know it's old school. And I got to see him in Nashville like three years ago. And he came out and he said, I'm Chris. In basement, he's 250 stand-up club. It's a club. And he's like, and then he just started singing, well, I woke up Sunday morning. And that's the albums of my parents' heirs. And I couldn't believe I was seeing the guy.

Yeah. And then he just said last year, I'm done. No. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if there's something wrong with him.

Whatever the case. Yeah, yeah. Whatever the case. Declaring that you're done is very interesting. I like it. I think it takes the position of, I've decided this. Right, that's exactly it. I don't want to be...

Maybe you're on to something there because it's... I don't want time or ticket sales to tell me that. Right, right. Right. But because it goes... Because all of our career, like you're saying, like we never... Like the tour, what do you mean the tour? It's been a non-stop, never-ending thing.

35 years. Yeah, which in the beginning, it's like you have to say yes to every single thing just to keep the momentum to get to the point where you are now, going to play nice places. and have these specials come out. And now we're older and all we do is fold for old people coming backstage. So then, right. So no decisions. We've made it to theaters.

And now we're just bombarded. Now here's the thing. You're not going to have two shows tonight at the Funny Bone Kathleen. And you're going to have your parents with 60 people. Tom, your mom and dad have arranged for some friends to come, quote, see you. Yeah. Yeah. So no decisions have been our own is my point.

Ever. Ever. So for Ron to do it, it was actually just watching a comic. actually take agency. Yeah, and say, no, I'll tell you all. Yeah. And if you have the money, but this is something like I would say to Lano's face,

I would say to Jay, he still does corporate gigs. Yeah. Why? They're the most horrible things on Earth. Everybody knows that. Some are not. Some are super fun. Actually, I've had super fun ones.

I've had okay ones and then horrible. Now, I've never had horrible in a club, and I've never had horrible in a theater. They're the only dynamic that can throw that into the bundle. Good point. But the fact that Leno, and I've said it to him, I go, Jay, really? You're still doing corporate case? Like, that's my goal to never have to do a corporate, having that I think, well, that'd be really good in my 401K, right? Like, I need that for my retirement.

Like, that's quick, easy money, like a whore. Like, and he's like, you have to pay money. And then I'm going to. I think there is just something so innately different between you and I. Yeah. I don't have whatever that is. Yeah. But he's always, legend is he's always been a locomotive.

He's always been this. Money. He likes money. Yeah. But he does like the jokes too, which I appreciate. Yes, he does. And he's, and for whatever, you know, I don't. He likes.

You don't know what his personal life is, but there are people that just work is the only place where they feel kind of safe and sane. Yeah, I think. You know what I mean? his like, well, I would say to Jay's face, I'm like, dude, you're on a spectrum, right? I would say, you have four shirts are all the same.

I have a nephew who's autistic. Like, you have four pairs of pants are all the same. You don't like fabrics. You're, you know, you're hot. Like, you only like cars. He's socially strange. Mavis's wife is thousand percent more spot on. I'm like,

I go with Mavis. If this thing divorces, I'm going on Mavis. She's smart. She's so social. She's like, she makes up for him. Right. But I also see why she likes him. Like, he, he, he's sweet. He does, and he does love the jokes. And I like him. I like, and I will, I will defend Jay to the day of the day.

Yeah. He came on during the pandemic. He came on my radio show and that was the only way to do it, like zooming. And he came on, he was the only guy, the only comedian who came on loaded with jokes. It's like he had been, it's like he had been, yeah, he had been collecting jokes. and I thought like, where am I going to take the conversation? What are we going to talk about? And there was none of that. It was bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And it was great.

It really was great. Yeah, everybody's an oddball. Yeah, but he's like, you know what he is? He's ritualistic too. Like, because one of my nephews is autistic. And then I have done research and benefits and all this. So I have kind of a super eye on that. And like even when Jay comes.

to the Comedy Magic Club. Yeah, he got 24 chicken wings. Like, the menu doesn't differ. Right. Like, you ever want salmon? Nope. Nope. Like, he's a ritual.

Yeah. And, I mean, he'd probably be like, caffeine, I'm not, yeah. Well, how old are you? Were we talking about these spectrum things back then? Like, right? They weren't even tests. I think Mavis would agree with me.

Yeah. The guy's a little off. Yeah. But he's sweet. Like, the first time ever I did it tonight, I was on the phone with my dad or my mom, but my dad's always been hard of hearing since he was like 20. Yeah. Yeah, he can't hear right. He was a pipe fitter and he had the jackhammer. Oh, God. It would know they didn't have the thing. Yeah. You know your plugs. Since I've been little. Yeah.

I'm like, I have to yell at that guy. Yeah. Like I knew that. Yeah. So it's no different when he's old. Right, right. It's almost the same. The hearing aids have made up for all that. But, uh, Jay, Jay goes, who are you talking to? I go, so we're backstage. I go, oh, shit. I go, I go, Dad, I got to hang up, it's Jay. And he goes, no, let me talk to him. And then I hear Jay go, Mint de Madigan, hello? He just totally hung up. And I go, man, I'm sorry.

I go, he's like super deaf. And I go, let me, do you have a second? I'll call him back. But I go, some man interrupted on the party line. Dad, we haven't had party lines since the 70s. I go, that was actually Jay. He was trying to say, hey, oh, well, can you put a bad? on and he was still standing there.

Like Jay suffered through this bullshit. That's when I went, you know what? Yeah. He's a nice guy. My first tonight show, my dad must have been there and he invited my father to go see his cars. Really? And like took my father and then we like contacted him and just like on a Tuesday my father

went up there and he took him all around and showed him. Yeah, and showed him all the cars and did all the stuff. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that was, you know, that's the host of the Tonight Show. Yeah. I didn't feel that way about Letterman. Bring your dad over.

No, I felt that way about Jay. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's, but you can also say that in front of Jay's face. That's why I like Jay. Right. I go, dude, you know how many people only have one shirt in the world? Strange fucking motherfuckers. Right.

And he's like, hey, why would you have more shirts than he defends it? I know. I'm like, just because normal human beings like color and they're like, hey, I'm tired of this shirt. Right, exactly. Like you just get sick of shit. You just get sick of shit. But if you're a normal person, Jay, he's like, say, you and maybe it. You know, you want to dress me up. I don't want to dress you up. I'm just saying that shirt's also

available in green. Right. For a T-shirt. Forest. Not like the last weird run I saw him have was he was talking about how he never gets room service. And this is a guy that he's doing, you know, gigs all over the place and hotels his whole life. He didn't he won't get room service. They're all that fancy. And you know, you go out and walk down and get something and he doesn't like nice restaurants. He likes stuff like it like that comes

in paper. He wants like carnies or he wants in and out. Anything you can hold in a piece of paper and eat it. That's like his only at Comedy Magic Club. I didn't even know we had available like you and I and anybody not everybody listening that wouldn't know the comedy magic club is one of the greatest clubs in country because when you're super poor and young, which I moved there when I was 25 to her most beach. Well, I didn't move. I mean, you know, I got an apartment, but my stuff was there. But you were near there. Yeah, that's where I decided. And all the comedian friends were

like, bring your own friends. It's a great thing to L.A. Don't count on meeting people here. They're just terrible narcissists. But if you bring your own friends from Ohio and Texas and Jersey, like, we had a blast. But I didn't even know, so backstage comedy magic club, they don't, you don't get

paid a lot to do a set, but they are wonderful about a great meal and drinks. And so, They treat you. They treat you. And they're so nice. Yeah. Richard and Mike Lacey and all.

But I didn't know there was a platter of wings. I've never seen that. Oh, it's every Sunday with Jay. It's like a silver platter my mom would have. And there's like 24 or more. And that's all he wants. Really? That's what he eats.

Now, if you Google a buffalo wing, they're like the worst things aside from a tater tie you could ever eat. And I'm all about a wing and I'm all about a tear time. But he's all. Every Sunday. Well, when you say not fancy, like they have the greatest salmon in the world there. They have a greatest skirt steak. Like Mike has so much great food.

This is not a shitty comedy club where you need to get wings. Those exist everywhere, Jay. This club, you can actually get great stuff. And he, He said, he's something else. How are you feeling about the special? When you put it out in the world, how do you feel like any nervousness or you feel like I'm done and let's go? And I'm good with it.

These are jokes. Yeah. Right? There. There you go. I feel like the internet can be so hateful, but yet it depends. It depends. echo chamber? Is it my Twitter feed? Is it

some random person that goes, well, I don't really feel like, you know, whatever, the criticism may be. Yeah. I am open to criticism, though. I don't like what people go, oh, no, but I don't like it when it's not valid. Like, some guy goes, well, I'm not sure she understands the differentiation between Gen X and Z. And I'm like, well, no, I actually said that. You missed that in a special. I said the guy's 36. That's, that's who I'm talking about, millennials. And then the other group was 20-something. I actually, so I get mad,

I get mad about the, the inaccurate. You know, you can criticize all you want. Yeah, but you're not listening or paying attention. But I also feel like it took so long because it was supposed to be filmed in 2019. I know. So it had been three years since. Yeah. I had done this, who got released in 2016, so you figure it's a year before, blah, blah, blah.

And then, okay, I'm ready again. So I was ready in 2018. Yeah. Like a normal person, a couple years. and then it was supposed to be shot and then COVID, COVID, COVID. So then it extended to six years. Right. Wow.

Are you guys not giving credit for two and a half? Because I could have done it probably seven months sooner, but they said everyone would have to be masked in social distance. No way. In the Denver Paramount, which is one of the greatest comedy theaters in the United States of America. That Paramount, everybody in Denver, it's a great comedy town. And I go, really? They're going to be sitting one apart.

And then you're going to be reminded of that 10 years from now when someone's watching it. You know what? I go, I have made enough money. I know I can pay my mortgage. I don't need to do this right now. Yeah. I'm not like a comic, young comics need the money.

They got to get the rent. They got to get to do whatever. I don't have to. So fortunately, I don't have. Then no. Yeah. I'll just wait until it's more. Good for you.

So therefore, it took forever. You know, it's funny though. So then the next one should be when I'm 84. Yeah. If you do the math, right. But, you know, when I started off saying, you've done so many specials. It's kind of a weird thing because

in the one hand, I feel like we're in this era where you've got to constantly create content because the machines just devours it and wants more and more and more. But I wouldn't have said that you hadn't put anything out in six years because you always seem present. You're always around.

You're always doing sets. You see your jokes on social media. It's like, I don't think there's anything wrong with that amount of time. well I I feel like it's a little long but I also don't feel like anybody's this is when you turn it to this Midwest fucking asshole kid in the bar nobody's giving me credit like I mean like there was a two almost a two and a half year gap because LA yeah LA requirements so like I wanted to do it in Denver but I needed

to fly people the the crews from LA and then they're like oh so okay if we do it now, it's going to cost you $50,000, me, me, $50,000 to COVID test. Jeez. I go, yeah, I'll just wait. Yeah. And it wasn't even about the money. It was about like, it's going to be weird. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

That was a great call. So I go with you. We're going to go as friends. We're going to have a great time. And you have to sit a seat apart from me. No, no, no, no. I don't want that. I don't.

It's too weird. People did it. Yeah. I respect them for trying. Yeah. Right, exactly. At that time. But now.

How many specials have you had total? I've had... Are we counting half hours? No. We're not. Okay. I won't count half hours. Of hours, this was my fifth.

That's amazing. Yeah. Think about that. Because here's what's weird. I know if I made you sit here right now and I got you some bottle of something to drink and I said, Tom, tell me five hours with the jokes, you couldn't do it. No way. Right. What were those five hours?

I know. With those five hours. Yeah. Every time I get a corporate gig, that's my thought. Right. What did I used to say? I know. What would you have?

It must have been super clean and super, I'm always cleanish. Yeah. You're cleanish. Occasionally you and I will say shit or goddamn. Right, right. I probably throw out a few more than you, but. Right. No, we're pretty much the same at that.

What I always laugh at is, so someone was hiring me? I can't believe. All those years ago. And then I think, 20 years ago, somebody gave me five grand? Yeah, was I... You should not have done that.

Right, exactly. Whoever did that should not have done that. Was I funny? Probably marginally. Yeah. I'd give me a... Yeah, yeah. I remember thinking it went well.

No. And then I think, are we out, are we ever out of thoughts? I don't think so. I interviewed Carl Reiner once. And now, you know, Not to put us in the, in the, in the league with. Well, he's kind of beyond me.

Yeah. Yeah, but these superheroes. But I mean, but just watch. I wouldn't interview him at his house. And he was working on his book. He was 89, I think. And he was, he had on his computer the book that he was writing. Oh.

And I said to him the corny thing of like, do you ever get writers block? And he said, I never understood it. Just start writing. It's not going to be good. It's not going to be. Just get, just keep working. keep putting out the things. And there's so many times when I'm faced with a blank page and then you just start

and then you surprise yourself. You're like, where did this Bigfoot thing come from? Where did this thing come from? I've never thought that. I've never written anything. Yeah, you do. No, I mean, on paper. Yeah, but you do, but you still, like, it's still just thoughts, right?

Well, right. You're saying, are you going to run out of thoughts? You're not. I don't know. I think I would, I think my thoughts would come more, I think they'd come less. I think they'd come less frequently if I wasn't working. Mm-hmm. And then I would just give them to a young person that's trying to make money is a comic.

Right. Well, here's a good premise, right? Right, right. I kind of have a punchline. If it fits the comic, like, it needs to fit the person. Right. Yeah, I would just pass them on. But I think at some point, I don't know.

Yeah. I think, I always look at music more than comedy, because comedy's too close to home, I think. Yeah. Like a sting or, uh, uh, uh, uh, who's Simon and Garfunkel, Paul Simon. Like,

they never stopped changing. Right. And they kept going. Right. And it's, I'd go see Sting tomorrow. Yeah. Like,

I mean, there are people that just eclipse all that. And then there's just, you know, Huey Lewis in the news. Right. Hey, we had a good run, man.

Yeah. That's fun. You see pop up. I want a new drug. Some won't make, like, like, there's just the rest of us.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't think that, I think I might have thoughts when I'm older that are like, that's a good, it's almost like analytical, like a good comedy thought. Right, right, right. You can go do that, but I'm not going to go down to Zay's and work that out. You go do that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to go do that.

Well, you're away from that. Yeah, well, I'm figuring, I told my parents that he lived for five more years. Five more years? And I'm paying for that. Uh-huh. Whatever, whatever. Whatever the co-pays are, I got you. Yeah. Because I need that material for five more years because they've really rocked it.

They've really killed it most of my career. Yeah. They are the, they're the... The muse. The muse, the Midwest. Yeah. The hunter dog, really. When you watch Garrison Keeler, Perry Home Companion, he's 80 now.

Yep. And he still, I saw him just have a thing of like in an interview about, he still puts out his Prairie home thing. Like he'll go sell out a theater and they come and instill his people. And he still loves writing and putting it out there. And he just has this. And it's like, you know, he doesn't go at it the way he used to. As long as it's a low key thing. Yeah.

Right. It's just his, you know, he knows what he has. And it's really, I only bring it up because it's the. He wants to generate and talk about stuff. He wants to put this stuff out. As long as that spark is there and you enjoy it. Then, why not? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd rather just be fishing. The only annoying thing about you really is that I have my cousin Michelle and my uncle Tony who live in North Carolina. Wonderful place. They love you so much more than me that it, hurts. I have every wedding, every whatever. You gotta hear it. You gotta hear it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You saw you had a new special. Have you seen Kathleen lately? Do you ever see your bit about,

yeah, I get it. I've got them tickets to your shows, the whole thing. They love you so much. Well, okay, here's the thing that's just gonna make you later tonight go, really? So my mom, smartest person, the whole family, she's just never gonna get over that I'm not. Bobby Lee. That's the funniest man. Her, the funniest man, my dad says Bobby Slayton. He says Slayton. Yeah, well, come on.

Old school, old school, Bobby's jokes go right on my dad's alley. But Bobby Lee, I go, what? She liked mad TV. Yeah, she's not wrong. No, and he'll be at the comedy store and all that. She's like, do you ever get to go in? and see him. Like I couldn't possibly.

Do you ever get a ticket? If I ever get lucky enough. I'm like, Mommy's a real nice guy. Like I met him a bunch of stuff. She's like, well, you know,

if he's ever going to Florida, I'm going to get a bunch of gals. That's the best. It's probably not what he's hoping for, mom, a bunch of 80-year-old ladies. That's the best. Everybody,

but my mom's other favorite is Jerry Seifeld. Yeah. Like she's never going to, like that night. I saw in the benefit in St. Louis, it was the, Fox Theater, which is a 5,000 theater, huge.

And Bob Cots is in Ozzie Smith or the, like, deal. It's for Children's Hospital in St. Louis. It's a wonderful, wonderful thing. And Bob likes to book like a couple of St. Louis people, but you're going to run out after me, Cedric, Nellie. Like there's music, but he had, it was me and Chuck Berry and Jerry. Right. And I was like, whoa.

Like, I mean, you and I know Jerry. Yeah. Not to promote Jerry. Yeah. But Jerry, we have mad a million times. Yeah. That's Chuck Berry. You're right.

I've gone into his bar in St. Louis and Blueberry Hill. He used to play every Friday night. Yeah. Every other Friday. And you can't believe, you can't believe this bar. It's very small. Right. You go in the basement.

You're like, why are we the only people that give a shit? You're right. It's Chuck Barry. Like the founder, like Mick Jagger and these people go, this is why we do. Yeah, this is the guy. He's always, he has some purple, crazy, sat and jacket on. It's a little stellar cap. He's a crazy person.

Like, he's going to Hamlin. He can't wait to get done with his set to just go to some casino at St. Louis. But I was like, wow. That Jerry, I was like, okay, my mom was like, that's her biggest, aside from Bobby Lee. And she's like, do you think there's any way I could say hello to Jerry? I go, no. And my day goes, come on, Kathleen. Come on.

I go, of course. I go, yeah. I go, you could say hi. This is all my mind. She had six months to prepare. Uh-huh. That's all she could come up with. You're so tall!

Again, socially inappropriate. Just spitting it out. And Jerry's like, looks out of this little midget. You're right. Hello. Hello. I'm Jerry. I know.

The best. It was all so socially. I'm like, hey mom. Anyway, he's got a set to get ready. And she's like, I just want to say, I thought you're the best. She finally got her one thought out. Yeah. And I'm like, mom, you don't.

need to freak out. Everyone freaks out. Yeah, but we're not backstage with the rolling soles. Like, I actually know these people. Yeah, they don't know that. Like, if I was backstage with the rolling stones, I wouldn't have said nothing.

Right. I'd be so freaked out. I would be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, maybe you can make your dream come true and get her Bobby Lee before. Well, who's your parents' dream, aside from me? Anybody? Who do they like better than you?

My parents, I don't know. They do love Jerry. They don't really say. You need to ask. Yeah. No. Are they scooting around?

Are they scooting around on Netflix and stuff? Are they in that? Yeah. Where they can check around? Yeah, they see people. They have, they like people. They really shit on people more than like people. I don't know what the big deal is with her.

She's not funny. I know, I know. My dad will go, now who's that Asian gal? It's just a general swooping. thing where I just go, don't, whatever you're going to say, stop. Stop. Yeah, it's good. Well, you're the best. I hope you enjoy this bread.

I will enjoy it very much. I hope you enjoy your, um, you're all famous. Um, you got to, you got to make it at least for your own self and send me a video. All right. I definitely will. Because I don't live here. I can't come over here anymore and see that. Yeah, I definitely were.

I'd go more with cornbread, but I'm a cornbread. I don't know. This, this, this has, this cheddar biscuit mix looks pretty. damn good. But cornbread is great too. I'm going to make it all. I'm not going to lie. You know, it's going to be raining for the next two weeks. I know exactly. So I think, you hear it's like coming down. And I think there's no reason to do you have to take your kids to school? No, I'm just going to be, no. After this interview, I mean, do they have to be driven every day to a school? No, not by me. I have a senior in high school. Oh, that'll take them? She becomes physical.

So you don't have to. No. So they can all drown together in these flood alerts. You don't have to worry about that. Oh, my daughter was miserable. Because other schools have closed down and her school is still going. She is so angry. Well, read the alerts tonight. Yeah? Yeah, it's going down.

You're the best. All right, you're the best. We got it, Aaron. There you have it, kids. That's right. I've got cheese biscuit mix. I've got cornbread, cotton country cornbread mix. Just add water.

That's going to be a treat. Kathleen is so funny. I wish it wasn't storming out and I didn't have to drive. I should have been drinking with her. But it was fun to watch her. She's so damn funny. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Again, go see her special on Amazon, hunting Bigfoot and look her up on tour. She's one of the best live comedians. You guys are the best as well. We'll see you next time.