Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 157 - Emma Lovewell

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

One of my Peloton heroes Emma Lovewell climbs off the bike and joins me at the table to talk about her new book 'Live, Love, Well.'    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus It's time for Breaking Red with Papa Hey! Don't you you know, hey, it's how we go. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know. Hey, it's also a show. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa.

I am Tom Papa. Thank you for being here. I am in New York City where I have some shows. I'm rolling in from Cleveland and Detroit, where we had amazing, sold out shows. I'm here doing the Come to Papa show, which you really have to come to when you're in New York City. And while I'm here, I am able to meet up with a couple friends and do a couple podcasts. And my guest today is Emma Lovewell. Emma is a positive force in this world.

She has a new book called Live, Learn, Love, Well. she is a celebrity in my eyes because she is a Peloton instructor. She is one of the people who I have been working out with for the last like three years. I love the Palaton. This isn't an ad for the Peloton, but I truly just love it. And I'm on it all the time. It's the one thing that I've been doing consistently to stay in shape. and she's an amazing instructor.

She's very natural, just good energy, a lot of fun, a lot of true positivity. You know, we've all been in workout classes, yoga classes, things like that, where you feel like they're just turning it on a bit much and, I don't know, maybe some people like that. I don't really get into it. But when people are just doing it naturally, and for me, those people are most inspiring, and Emma is one of those people. Her book is great.

It's just great. Her story is amazing, and the way she did, to put, like, a story behind the person and then giving you kind of, I'm not going to say it's like telling you how to live, but it's like, look, we're all learning from each other. and her book definitely provides some great moments in it of just kind of like, it's kind of like a chiropractor. You go in, you read it, you're adjusted, you feel better, and the same as when I take her classes. She's great.

I can't believe that she's going to be here, and we're going to be able to do this podcast together because, you know, she is in my eyes a celebrity, so I'm going to try not to geek out on it when she gets here. So, yes, enjoy. Oh, my book. We're all on this together. I almost forgot the name of my own book.

We're all on this together, so make some room is available. Starting next week, you can get it for pre-order right now. Make sure you go to Amazon or wherever you get books, and if you can pre-order the book, it would be great. The more people that do that, it helps the sales in the first couple weeks, which is when it all matters. in the short term.

They exist for a long time. But we're all in this together, so make some room. I'm very proud of it. It's my third book. And also we're touring like crazy. Just added a whole bunch of dates to tompapa.com. The whole tour is up there.

I saw the map with all the dots of where I'm going. It doesn't seem physically possible that I'll be in all of those places, but that's what my website says. So you might as well come meet me there. And we'll have a swell time. Bring bread. Someone brought me canoles in Cleveland. Whoever did that. Thank you. Much appreciated. ate them both. You guys are the best. Enjoy now. The great Emma Lovewell.

Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Now you are, and this has to happen to you all the time. What? You are way more familiar to. to me than I am to you. Okay. Because of Peloton. Oh. You're familiar with me because of Peloton. Yes.

Okay. And you don't see me on Peloton. No. But I have watched your podcast. But you do get this kind of thing. Like, people have to think you're like their friend. Yes. They're in a relationship with you.

Yeah. Are we friends? We are definitely friends. Okay. Cool. I'm only friends. with you and Matt Wilpers. Oh, love that combo.

Yeah. I love Matt Wilpers. Matt Wilpers is great. He's great. And he's, uh, I love him because he's just straight ahead, goofy, white guy. Yeah, the nicest guy. No party on the bike. No, very smart.

Smart. And I like the power zone thing. Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I have trouble thinking when I'm working out. Right. And so he does that for you. Yeah. That's, yeah.

You are a star. Okay. You are vibrant. There's like everything about you comes across. Thank you. All the things that Matt's not. I only say that because I feel like he's my friend too. Right.

So I can bust him. I think Matt and I compliment each other, really. You know, I taught Matt how to count to music. That was a thing because he did not understand like the eight counts. And so I taught him that. He's taught me a lot about structuring classes too. Right. Yeah.

It's very cool. Well, I love Palaton. Great. I'm on a 200-week streak. Wow. Which only means that some weeks you just did one. But still. But still.

One. A lot of people don't do one. I know. In a year, you know? I mean, that's why it's so great. It definitely kept me dialed in to, it's motivated me to like stay in it. Great.

It's got to be a cool thing. I have so many questions. It's got to be a cool thing. Let's keep it about me first of all. Okay. Going through the pandemic was such a, you guys are rocking and rolling, and then that hits.

And then you're no longer with your audience, with your class, you're doing it all to, solo. But for the people at home, more important than ever before, because you were helping people stay sane. Yeah. Did you feel that? Yeah. I mean, I, even I'm going through my own thing during the pandemic too. And then I'm showing up for other people, but I was also showing up for myself because I needed to move. I needed fitness in my life too. So it was very surreal looking back on whole time because you know we closed the studio for a period of time too yeah and then when we

reopened it was like all these you know procedure you know yeah the protocols and everything you know masks until you got on the bike you're the only person in the room like yeah there's only maybe like three people in the building even driving into manhattan at that time was crazy um and yeah just like i am legend yes i yeah because i was staying out of the city and i drive in it was just the fat you know no cars on the road and i'd just be right to the studio it was it was surreal but then when i was on that bike and you have all these cameras on you and we had also moved studios we were in a huge production studio different than the studio we were in before oh i didn't realize that the timing was just yeah bizarre um i was in a new environment new like this you know it was just nuts never been

done before right i felt i felt it yeah but uh but then you know there's something that happens and you're a performer you know like when the camera's on when the lights turn on you switch it on and you get in the zone and you just like kind of forget everything else that's around you and it needed that yeah how many times how many classes do you do in a day um one to three four to five times a week it's it's very different every week my schedule's irregular yeah i love how in your book uh first of all uh Have you ever written before? It's very well written. Thank you. This is my first book.

Wow. Yeah. Did you write in any other capacity? Like, were you? Yeah, I have a website that started out as a blog where I would write. I've, you know, contributed to things before. Articles to that. My dad's a writer, and so he's always kind of pushed me to write.

Was he a writer beyond music? Yeah, yeah. He worked for the local newspaper. He would write the Fisherman's Column at the Vineyard Gazette. No way. So he'd write about Saltie. Fisherman on Martha's Vineyard, among other things. He's a great, great writer, very talented. So, yeah, he always encouraged me to write all the time.

I've always thought of, like, if I, if my career, I said one of my specials, if my career ever, like, is over, or even if just retire, like, bagel shop at the beach. Yeah. I would go run a bagel shop at the beach. Okay. Because it's simple and you can be done by two and you're making bread. but then the other little wrinkle in it is, and then write for the local paper. I love that. That's such a nice. That is nice.

Yeah, that is a cool thing. I have like a plan like that too, but mine's like a coffee breakfast flower shop. But I like the idea of, because I love like a simple breakfast menu, coffee, teas, whatever. Uh-huh. But I like the idea of it, yeah, just being done by two o'clock. Yeah. But then you're, I mean. But the flowers might mess you up, though.

The flowers might mess me up. And then also, do we have to wake up at 3 a.m. That's the biggest thing. Yeah. I know. You hire somebody to do that part. Yeah. Yeah.

You can't be in there. That was my thing. Whenever, when I started getting into baking, I was like, a bakery might be fun. And then I did this thing for Food Network. And I went around and toured.

And I realized, oh, these cakes don't magically appear when I walk in. Right. Someone's making this at two in the morning. Yeah. It's so crazy. Yeah. So you had a little writer in you.

It really shows in the book. Thank you. I didn't read all of it. because I have to get it proper because I'm reading a PDF of it. Okay, we have a copy for you. Which is so no, no, I'm going to buy it proper. I have, I write books too. Yeah.

I also did the audio for the audible. You did? So if you want to hear more of my voice, you can tune in there. Yeah. That's all you need. Someone off the bike still in your head. Yeah. But one of the things I,

uh, that was kind of interesting to me, you call it movement. Yeah. You call exercise, working out, whatever, movement. I never heard of call that before. I'm also a dancer, so I think that that is probably where that comes from. Yeah.

But when I think about all the activities that I did growing up and everything, it's all based on movement, moving my body, right? So I was a dancer. I also played sports. I played lacrosse and soccer. and I was a lifeguard, so I was swimming and, you know, I was very active, and so I just think of that as, it's just all moving my body, and that has been so integral in my life in some ways.

It's such a cool way to think of it. It really is. It's like that the phrase does, it kind of takes it off of the drudgery of working out. It sounds heavy. Hard, yeah. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it sounds hard. It is hard.

It can be. It can be. You're so sweet. You brought me. Olive oil, which is so nice. And I literally, I'm getting in shape for my physical. I like to get in shape before my physical so my doctor isn't disappointed in me. And I haven't been there since before The Troubles.

Oh, okay. I'm pretty good. I'm probably like, I don't know, probably six, seven pounds heavier than I should be. So I'm trying to dial it in. Okay. And the one great thing for your blood pressure is olive oil. That's like, well, I was thinking more. And when I'm on the road, I'm like, I literally was thinking this morning.

morning like, I wish I just had, can I travel with olive oil? And then you showed up like an angel. It has to be like less than eight ounces, right? Yeah, I'll check the bag for this. But I was thinking because it goes well with bread. And I do want to talk about making bread because I make sourdough bread. You do. But I have sad news because I recently killed your starter. I killed it. I killed it. I thought it wasn't possible. I thought it was like, it's pretty hard to kill it. It was too much travel. I just wasn't home enough. and I killed it. I, because I travel so much, I have that, like I know. Yeah. Do you dry it?

It's like having your pet cared for when you're on the road. You're like, someone's got to feed the dog. Someone's got to feed the, so I'll come in and just like feed it and then go back out. Have you ever dried it? I know there's a way you can dry it. Yeah, well, you know how it gets hard like on the side of the bowl? Some of it's these flakes. You can bring it back from that.

Yeah. I was thinking maybe I need to do that next time. Yeah. So you neglected it for like a month. Yeah, probably. Yeah. How long was, how long did you have it? A year. A year. And it came from my brother in California. Oh, no. He still has his and I've given it to other people on the East Coast. So I know that I can get it back.

Yeah, of course. I just, you know, now that the book tour is, you know, basically over, I can attend to my sourdough pet. Yeah. I know what you're saying. Of course you can get it back. It's not a problem. But there is a little something like, oh, I know. I let my goldfish die. Right. Right. You know? Yeah. Were you good at it? You know, I had this, I did. I had this one recipe that I know people can get really precise about measurements and, you know, grams and everything. Yeah. This was not that recipe. This was like foolproof, which I loved. Because I was just starting out. but then I just kept going with it

and I would add different things to it to mix it up. Oh, nice. You know, olives or raisins or nuts or whatever. Yeah. But I just kept, I never tried a different recipe. I only had that one. That's good. It works.

I know. I get all these books. And I am kind of interested, you know, like these German breads or all that kind of stuff. But once you venture out, then you're like starting over and you're failing. No, totally. I went to a party with my friend who got into sour. making sourdough. She brought her sourdough with her to this party, this dinner party, because she's like, oh, at 8.30, I'm supposed to need it and flip or whatever. It was like bringing a baby

to a house party or something. It was so funny, but we were all like, no, we get it, we get it. But she literally brought it because she's like, no, at this time, I have to do this. And then at 9 p.m., I have to do this. That was not my recipe. I didn't have that. Yeah. That's why I think I'm good at it is, It's not as precise as other baking. Yeah. Like you can let it go and out. You can go to the dinner party. It'll be okay when you get back.

Okay. It'll be fine. Great. Oh, I'm glad because I literally was thinking about you this morning. And because normally, and I'll do this when I circle around, I came right from the road. But normally I bake bread for my guests. And I was thinking, I wonder if she eats bread. I eat bread.

That's good. I love bread. It's another thing. wait. There was another thing that you said in your book. Oh, yeah. You said, you talk, restrictive eating, that's what it was.

Restrictive eating. You talk about how getting in shape or whatever or living a healthy good life isn't about restrictive eating. It was with some other things. It's about movement. It's about this and eating good food. I was like, what another great little solve?

You're not saying like, you're saying like the good food is like that's a joy to be able to eat that food. For me, yeah. I enjoy eating and so I want to eat good food. And I think around diet and eating is my focus is always on abundance of focus on what you want to eat more of, not what you want to eat less of. Right. I mean, in my experience, you know, living in New York City, if I've ever said like, okay, I don't want to eat pizza this week. I've had it too many times. All I'm thinking about is pizza.

And you're walking down the street and there's literally a pizza shop on every corner and you're like, all you're thinking about it is pizza. So instead it's like think about the things that you want to add more of. So for me, I'm like, okay, I want to try to eat more like leafy greens or I want to have vegetables on every meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Like I'm going to focus on incorporating that. Right. So then it's like, yes, eat the pizza, but then also have a salad.

Yeah. And then that way it's just way more enjoyable for me. Yeah. No, it's such a good way to, I mean. It's so simple. It's so simple. You have to constantly remind yourself of these things, but just calling it good food. Yeah.

Like not good for you food or not like healthy food. Just good. It really, and you feel so much better. It makes you feel good. Yeah. It's such a small little thing. Both those are pretty ingenious. Are you thinking about this stuff all the time?

Like are you like really? Because I mean, your book is chock full of it. And it's like, you know, you're not like, I'm sure. are pressed all the time, like, you know, but it's got to be on your mind of like, are you constantly, do you find yourself, like I look to you all as experts and that's where I get the stuff from. Do you know that role so you have to constantly educate yourself so you have more to bring? I think about that sometimes, but I also think about when I'm just really in tune with myself and I'm, you know, authentic to myself, that's also really inspiring for people. So

if you try too hard and you're trying to like send this positive message and you're trying to be, you know, some inspirational enlightenment, you know, Buddha, like people can tell that you're trying so hard. So I think for me, I'm really just trying to be myself. Yeah. And that's why, you know, In my book, I'm sharing lessons from a life of progress, not perfection. I didn't, my success and growth was not linear. I've taken backstep, side steps. And, you know, I think being human is doing that. And then also showcasing it is a way to help people, inspire people.

Right. Yeah, that is, that is accurate. It does, it seems very natural to you. Thanks. I mean, I do like when I'm, if I see, you know, an inspiring quote on, Instagram or Twitter, I'll save it. And I'm like, oh, I like that. Like, that's awesome.

Yeah. No, it's nice to gobble that stuff up. But yeah, I know what you mean. Like there's, especially on social media, people like putting it out there. And it's like, all right, slow your roll. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, you don't have to just yell at people how to live all the time. Right. You know. Right. Exactly. How did you like the experience of, putting a book out in the world and running around. You had a bunch of events and it looks cool.

I mean, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. I think somebody asked me that earlier that they were like, oh, you know, were you scared going into it knowing how much work it was? And I was like, I think the trick was not knowing how much work it was. Yeah. That's why I got into it. And then in retrospect, I'm like, oh, no, no, that was way more work than I thought it was going to be.

The writing of it or the promoting of it? I think the, I mean, all of it, but definitely the promoting of it. Yeah. It was really intense. Yeah. Because... I went to a bunch of cities. And I loved meeting people.

That was the best part for sure. I see leaderboard names all day long, but I don't see a lot of faces. And so to put faces to names. Right. And honestly, one of the big parts for me was, you know, I'm half Chinese. And when I went to San Francisco, which has a huge Asian culture. Yeah. Like 75% of the people who showed up in line were Asian or mixed families.

Wow. And I know, you know, I hear, I get messages from people being like, thank you for being a face in the, you know, there's not a lot of Asian people in fitness. Right. You know, thanks for being a face for us. And, but I didn't, but seeing faces, like, I get those messages. But then going, looking at, there was, you know, 400 people that showed up to my book signing. Wow. Looking out and seeing, like, the majority of them were like Asian women.

And I was like, oh my God, like, this is so. Connecting. Yeah. I was like so touched. 400 people for a book signing, by the way, is huge. It was a lot, right? It was a lot. And it was raining out, and they were standing outside.

It was insane. I did one in L.A. where I'm living now. Yeah. I'm from here, but I'm living in L.A. And I did a book signing. I think there was 20 people. And my daughters and my wife and their friend were five of them. And I remember my daughter was like,

my daughter was probably at the time like 11 yeah and she was like I could tell she didn't want to say it but like she was like is this how it's been going oh okay well I have to say but the metric for books stuff is smaller yeah 400 is huge but also I think L.A. is different in my opinion I don't know L.A. that well but I feel like people in L.A. there's like so many events all the time all the time. All the time, for sure. So I didn't have 400 people that showed up in L.A. For me. No, but where were you?

San Francisco. Yeah, that's still big. Those are big. Thank you. Anyway, it was very cool to see people's faces and connect. That was definitely the best part. Doing all the TV appearances, that was new for me. I had never really done that much, you know, sitting on TV and talking.

Usually I'm, like, exercising on TV. Like, I'll do, like, segments where I'm working out. Or I showed, like, Kelly and Ryan how to, you know, do a, you know, do a, workout move, but sitting there and doing all that was interesting. Yeah, when you have like, you realize it's over and you didn't say what you wanted to say. They're so short. I know. It's like, you have three minutes. Be inspiring and incredible all in three minutes. And you're like, okay, no pressure. Here we go. The thing I learned was don't necessarily answer their question. Yeah. Just be ready with what you want to say. Because I'll throw you in, especially if you're

sincere. Yeah. And they're like, so tell me about your dad. And you're like, wait, my dad. Yeah. And then you start going into a thing and, okay, thanks for being here. Wait, I didn't even mention the book. Right.

It's so fast. And they send a car and you have to do makeup. Yeah. And then you're there and it's over. It's over. I know. It's a good thing, though. Oh, people will, especially this kind of a book, people will take their time with it.

Yeah. And they're going to be coming up to you for years. Right. with it. That's something I am now starting to get into, you know, teaching. I taught at the studio this past weekend and a bunch of people are after class holding their book and waiting in line and asking them to sign it. And so I'm like, oh, this is like, this is my thing that will be with me forever. Forever. How cool. How cool. I'll tell you what's cooler is someone coming up to two, three years from now, and they've got that book and it's like worn out. You know what I mean? Because

they've read it, but back to it. And it's like, yeah, these things kind of... Some guy came up to me at a... After one of my shows, and he said, I just wanted you to know that I was on a cruise with my family, and we were reading your book. Every night I would read them or something, and it goes... And I know, like, I was thinking about it,

you have no way to know that that's happening. But we're reading your book on a cruise somewhere. I was like, that does mean a lot. Like, right now in this moment, somebody is reading your book right now and somebody is reading my book right now. What if it's the same person? After this podcast, maybe it'll be. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like go back and forth.

They're listening to your audio book and they're reading my heart cover book. Yes, at the same time. It's a skilled person right there. Amazing. So let me ask you this. It's a cool thing for you to have like these people show up, Asian folk who are like, identifying and you don't even realize as you're out and they're pedaling around like this is having an impact when you grew up because your father is white and your mom's Chinese

it might be a naive question but how white how Chinese did you feel well that I you know I discussed this in my book because I for so long as a kid or more teenager young adult I was thinking, am I white enough? Am I Asian enough? I'm not sure. I was always struggling. Definitely, you know, as a kid growing up on Martha's Vineyard, it is not a very diverse place.

Yeah. And so my mom was unlike all of the other moms. And so I would look at her and be like, why are you so different than anybody else? Why do we eat different food than everybody else? And she and I did not get along, especially in high school. We were definitely, you know, we would argue a lot. My parents

got a divorce. I was just like, an angsty teenager. Sure. And then when I left the island, I went to college. And that was the first time I had ever had to make friends because I was from the small town. Everybody knew me. Everybody knew my family. Yeah. So I had to make friends. And for the first time, people were like, what are you? You know, they were confused by my ethnicity. And I had to be like, what am I? And then I'd have to answer it. And then through that process, I was like, whoa, like, who am I? How were you answering at the time?

What was your first? So I, you know, I'd say, well, because people would be like, what are you? Which, that's not the right question. Just say, what ethnicity are you? Like, I'm a human. I'd say, you know, I'm half Chinese, half white. And then some people would be like, no, you're not. Like, people would literally challenge me.

And I'd be like, um. Prove it. Wow, you know? So I started taking Mandarin language classes because I wanted to learn how to speak because I knew a little bit growing up, but not, you know, as much as I wanted. too. And then, you know, I had some, my first, like, big, like, racist comments coming towards me were in college, and I had to deal with that of people just being ignorant and saying dumb things or people thinking that because I don't look Asian, that they would say a racist

thing. And I was supposed to laugh because they thought I would think it's funny because I'm white. And then I'd have to, like, cut them off and be like, like, because I was like, I'm secretly Asian. Like, I'm out here living this secret Asian life. And that sucked in some ways because I was like, wow, why, you know, I felt on the defense all the time. Like I was like so, like my guard was up. Wow. But that's one of the reasons why I ended up moving to New York City and loving the city was because it was, it's so diverse. Yeah.

And you run into somebody from every race every single day. I know. And I love that. I know. That was the very profound thing about 9-11 was, you think, you think, you. think you're attacking like choosing new york was attacking the world like when you saw those faces looking up yeah it was all it was everybody right it's not like this no white american thing that you're going after this was like the world is in new york i mean literally like just got here

from all these different places yeah yeah it's weird because like when i grew up i didn't i grew up but just like 20 minutes from here in New York, in New Jersey. And yeah, it wasn't like people would tease other ethnicities, but it wasn't Asian kids. Yeah. It wasn't a thing. I mean, well, that's the thing. And what was heartbreaking, though, is, okay, so I got to, you know,

went to college, and then for the first time I had Asian friends, because before I had only had Asian family. Right. And so I was like, stoked. I was like, oh, my God, I have, like. Asian friends who we can relate on different levels. But then I realized to my Asian friends, I was their white friend. And to my white friends, I was their Asian friend.

And I was kind of like, oh, this is, you know. Yeah. But then, you know, it felt like is when somebody would say something racist or ignorant in front of me thinking that I was on the other side. It was on the other side. It's not even like, oh, I'm white. And they just assume that I would think it's funny, which I don't. Yeah. But it kind of broke my heart because I'm like, I know if you knew.

I was Asian, you wouldn't say that in front of me. And so I'm like, how many people are out there, like, living life, saying ignorant things behind people's backs? Yeah. Like, that's just what, and then that made me my heartbreak for my Asian friends because I'm like, you're going to, you're in class with all these people who are saying dumb stuff, you don't know that they say dumb stuff. Right.

Because they wouldn't say it in front of you. And so I, yeah, I really, you know, and I was taking sociology classes, race, class, gender. I was taking psychology classes. I, like, had definitely in college. And I write about this in my book because I actually didn't. enjoy my college experience because I was going through a lot and I also just didn't totally like feel like I fit in and um but that you know that's such it's so extra yeah it's so extra I mean it's so just knowing like as myself like going through as just a straight white guy

you just it was enough to deal with your insecurities and your class and And there's already enough. Right. And then to throw on this whole side project. Right. Totally. Of an entire race and gender. Right.

Fighting for like your spot. Right. And I mean, that's like a whole. So then I started becoming like, you know, because people, this is also the time when everybody was like saying like, oh, that's gay. Like they would like, as an insult, they'd be like, oh, I don't like that couch. It's gay. And I'm like, what are you, and so I was like the PC police.

I was like going around being like, really like, like, you know, like challenging everybody. And then I got exhausted. I was tired. Like I would correct everybody. I'd be like, no, don't say that. That's not right. And I was like, I can't keep doing this. Like, I'm tired.

Yeah. And so then I just got like quiet again. And, you know, I don't know. So I talk about this in my book because it has been a journey for me. and then moving to New York City and now having this very public platform where I am a voice and a face for people and, you know,

had the opportunity to go to Capitol Hill to speak out against Asian hate crimes in a bill that got passed. And like these were these big moments for me where I'm like, oh my God, I've been so quiet for so long in some ways. Yeah. Spoken out, been exhausted from doing that.

It's this, you know, and forth and but I do think it's important. Yeah. Well, what's cool is that now you can, you can, you can, you have this cool platform. It's, it's like you're, the amount of work you have to put in to be, be effective should be less exhausting. Yeah. I mean, you still have to carry. I mean, I get that part of it, but like, you can, you can do so much. Just when you were highlighting the yeah, yeah, yeah, on your workout, it's like, boom, that's so powerful. Everyone's walking away, carrying that, carrying it not just as a band, but as an Asian band,

and that's just going to permeate throughout the rest of it. And where we are now is so different than, like, in the 90s. And, like, I grew up watching Connie Chung on the news, and that was, like, the only Asian woman I had ever seen on TV. And now it's not like that. There's way more representation now. Way more. It's a different world. And yeah.

So, but I know that I'm, even if I just represent a small portion of that representation, like, that's awesome. And so when I do get messages from people being like, my half Asian daughter watches your classes or takes them with me or whatever, like, I love hearing that. It's great. It's so cool. When people are in Peloton and you give it. a shout out to people who've done 3,000 rides or something? How is that possible? I mean, we have five-minute warm-ups.

We have five-minute cool-downs. Oh, of course. So think about, like, every time that person works out, they're taking, like, three or four classes each time. Right. And then they've had the bike since 2014. Right. You know?

All right. I'm like they're scamming You're like how are they doing this? It's so funny Now let me ask you another thing When people On the leaderboard Do you

Are you able to see when People are like blasting out In the beginning Just so they can get I can go higher than You know what I mean When you're like okay cool down everybody Right

I can see output If I'm looking at specific people But as a whole Like there's thousands of people, so I'm not really looking at you, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can also, on the flip side, I can see if you're not peddling at all. Oh, really? Sometimes I like to give those people a shout out.

Some people just stop? Yeah, if their outputs at zero and we're halfway through the class, then I know that maybe they just are listening to my playlist because they like my playlist and they're cleaning their house or something. I don't know. Oh, that's funny. And they're getting credit for the workout, well, just putting it on. Yeah.

It's so great. I like the app because I can do yoga when I'm on the road if they don't have a bike nearby or whatever. Yeah, it's great for traveling. I use it all the time when I travel. Yeah. At what point did you realize that movement, I won't say exercise, was so good for you mentally?

I don't know. I mean, I don't, yeah, I'm not sure if I had that connection when I was a kid, you know, because they were just like, you know, go to soccer. practice, you know, whatever, you just do it. But probably... That's funny. The answer is, the answer really is, when I became an adult, you should not heavy. Right. And when I, like, needed therapy. And then I was like, oh, this works.

Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe in my, or when I got to college and in my early 20s, I think that's when I really started realizing, like, oh, like, I'm, you know, feeling off. Wait, I haven't exercised in a while. I haven't moved in a while. Like, let me go take a dance class. Let me go take a workout class. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it amazing how, like you talk about how far we've come since the 90s, just for, just for fitness also. Like the, my daughter's six, just turned 18. She was, but since she was 16, like she knew I'm in a mood. Exercise helps me, like all from social media and discussing it, like constantly discussing it the way that we just discover, like, as an adult. Like, it's such a part of the. It's changed immensely. Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine being a teenager and having social media because it's probably hard enough.

Yeah. You know, that's extra. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But in some ways, it can also be really positive and seeing, you know, the positive effects of influence.

But, yeah, I can't imagine what that would be like as a teenager. I know, I know. We went through that whole minefield. They learned, you know what, though? They learned to deal with it. better than we did. Yeah. Like it's new.

Yeah. Them, they kind of like, it's a struggle at certain points, but they also are just better at it. Yeah. And they know when like they're getting, like, it's getting toxic. Really? Yeah. That's good. Yeah.

I mean, I set an alarm, I set a limit on my phone for social media. You do? Yeah. It's like an hour a day or something. Yeah. I think I do. Yeah. It's hard when you're promoting something.

Yes. That for the last couple weeks, I had to kind of throw that out the window. But on a regular day, yeah. Yeah. The problem being a comedian is it never stops. Right. There's always another show. Right.

Always another. Right. You've got to respond and interact and engage. Yeah. I have my assistant do it sometimes so I can get off of it. Yes. That makes sense. Yeah.

You do it. You tell the people I'm going to Boise. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Are you on a tour right now? Yeah. Yeah. Where's your next spot? I was just in Cleveland and Detroit and I have a show here tomorrow night and then I'm going to Atlantic City on Saturday.

Oh, nice. Yeah. But I have to fly home from here to see my daughter's final dance performance in high school on Friday and then take the red eye back for the show. Wow, good for you. What kind of dance does she have? Have to. Contemporary. Nice. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, she's good.

She's really good. And we don't know. She's not sure if she's going to continue dancing in school. Right. When she goes away next year. So it might be the final final. Who knows? Is she dancing in school?

In high school right now. No. So she's going. Yeah. Well, she's not sure. She doesn't know. Yeah. She's not sure exactly what they offer.

And like how intense she wants to be in it, but not so intense. Yeah. Not her primary thing. And you're in L.A. And we're L.A. That's where all the dancers go. I mean, New York and L.A., but commercial dancers, like, that's where all the jobs are for dancers in L.A.

So she's probably training with great people and if she's, like, exposed to the L.A. dance world at all. Yeah. But now she's coming back here for school. So, I mean, this is what they say. I mean, they say this for actors, too. It's like you train in New York and then you work in L.A. Right.

I know. Same with comics, too. Yeah. Did you like performing? I did. I loved it. It was grueling, though. You're just auditioning all the time. You're getting told no all the time. All the time. And you just have to keep picking yourself up and doing it again. And, but I think, yeah, I think I learned a lot. I think I learned how to be resilient and how to, you know, just like keep, keep believing in yourself because you're always going to have people that, you know, don't book you for something. But it could literally have nothing to do with you. So you just have to just brush it off your shoulder and just keep going back. But yeah, I've gotten to perform and collaborate with tons of people like artists and whatnot.

So it's been a really... Yeah. You still dance? I do teach dance cardio at Peloton. Oh, nice. And I'll take a dance class every once in a while. It's weird. I've never taken that class.

You should try. He should try it. Me and Matt Wilper's showing the dance class. I think he's... I think he's tried, actually. I think he filmed himself trying a dance cardio class once on social media. It was great. That's funny.

Yeah. No, yeah, you should take one. You and your daughters should take one together. It would be adorable. That would be hilarious. Yeah. She wouldn't stand for it. She's like, what are you doing?

No, I even taught a dance class with Usher. Usher's on the Peloton platform. We danced together. I was like, are you kidding me? Wow. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah, so you can dance with Usher, too.

Sure, I can't. Yeah. You still have your garden going? Yes. So it is like full on right now, getting everything ready and starting to plant seeds and seedlings. And, you know, it's going. Do you garden at all? You're probably traveling.

Yeah, not that much, but for Mother's Day, I roll into the nursery to get my wife some, like we try and get plants rather than just flowers. And I had that moment that you talk about in your book when you're there. You just want to buy everything. You're using it as a metaphor for life and planning where you're going. But I have that feeling. Every time it's just so great. Everything about it is just, I want to buy that. I want to get into cactus. I want to do this. I want to do that. Totally. This year I'm like, I think I'm going to try to grow potatoes of next. ever grown before. And I'm probably going to get like five and I put in, you know, four months and like $20 to get like four potatoes. But honestly, um, I just like the challenge.

Yeah. And I like spending time outside. I know. It's the best. And like that potato is going to taste so damn good, you know? Oh, 100%. Better than any other 50 cent potato. I one time grew strawberries. Oh yeah. And they were so sad. Oh. They're just like this little vine little thing and shrively. But they did taste great. They probably tasted great. And they were like this big. Yeah.

Did you, were you always up there? Or were you, some reason I thought Jersey. So I live outside of the city and I moved there. I did the whole pandemic move thing. My partner Dave and I were like, his mom lived in Connecticut and he was like, let's go stay with her. Yeah. You know, for a couple weeks while this blows over.

Right. We thought we'd be there for like two weeks. Right. We'll be back. in no time. Yeah, we're like, well, just like, keep our Brooklyn apartment, whatever. Yeah. So we ended up, you know, staying up there. And then we found a little rental by a lake. Oh, wow. And I ended up staying on this lake, which was amazing. I felt like I was in summer camp that summer, you know, because you couldn't really go anywhere, couldn't do anything. But I had this lake,

so I would just go paddle boarding every day. Oh, my God. I was very lucky. Yeah. And then we started looking around to buy a house. And so we bought a house up there. And I've been out of the city now for two years. Wow. And, but I still work in the city, so I come in, you know,

almost every day, well, four to five days a week. That's good balance. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the commuting is,

is a little much, but when I'm home and I'm, like, it's, there's nothing like it. I know. It's such a, it kind of is a bummer,

but my whole theme for my, I do this radio show Cole come to Papa. It's like a variety show thing. Each one is a theme, and tomorrow's theme is New York, like celebrating New York.

So kind of reminiscing in the writing about being in the city and how great it is and everybody leaving. Like, all the rich people always leave in the summer. And like you're still here. And you're young and you're hungry. And it's the greatest place ever.

As soon as you leave and live in a place with space and air and quiet, it's so hard to come back. Yeah. You can only come back if you become like a billionaire. I know. And then you're, yeah, you're living in like the penthouse of some, I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, I have thought about it. I'm like, what would the conditions have to be for me to move back to the city? Like, yeah, I'd have to. It'd be a lot. A lot of commas on that apartment. Yeah, and going back living with somebody else in that space. Oh my God.

Okay, I was in my office in L.A. Like, we lived in a place this size. Oh, yeah. Like on a houseboat. Oh, when I think that, and I wrote about some of my apartments in my book. Yeah. Like some of those, yeah, I'd one apartment. Oh, the bathroom.

That's what I wanted to. Yeah. I had a, I never heard this one to tell them what you're. Okay. So the bathroom I had was like you could sit on the toilet and wash your hands at the same time because the sink was basically like right on top of the toilet. So it was. It's so funny. There was no countertop.

space either. Like, it's not like as a woman doing your makeup. Like, you could not put your lipstick down anywhere. Like, and you're like excited. And I was thrilled. Yeah, thrilled. I loved that apartment. I know. I was like, it, you know. Yeah. My place like that, uh, I didn't realize it. I was like, what's wrong in this bathroom? There was no sink in the bathroom. Oh my gosh. I was like, I did not, came through here twice. You wash your hands in the, was there a shower? You had to, uh, there was a shower. You wash your hands on the shower. I would brush my teeth in the shower. In the kitchen sink.

Living with another dude. Right. So there's dishes. Yeah. So like there's nothing. That makes you feel like you have to change your life more than spinning tooth-faced in between dirty dishes. That's so true. It's so good.

I lived with some dudes before too. I had this one apartment with two guy roommates. And we did this like super passive aggressive thing where, Like, I kept asking him one of the guys to clean the sink because I knew it was his dishes in the sink, right? He would never do it. And so I took a picture of the dirty sink and posted it on his Facebook page. Ah. I didn't say anything.

I just like passive, aggressive. I don't know. Maybe that's aggressive aggressive. And then like a day later, he posted a picture of a clean sink on my Facebook. And like, we never spoke about it. Nice. Well, that's good. He got the message.

Yeah. He got it done. I take pictures of my daughter's mess in the kitchen all the time. Do you post it on social media? I don't post it on social media. No, I just send it to her. That's good. She'll be like, I know, I'm going to do it later.

Yeah. I love the kitchen so much that my wife doesn't like this attitude because it gets my daughter off the hook. It's just my space. Oh, I see. Yeah. If I've got to clean their dishes, whatever. Oh, okay. It's just all happening.

It just has to be cleaned and I need the space to do whatever. So then your daughter grows up thinking like if I just leave this dish on the kitchen counter, it will clean itself. 100%. That's the lesson I've taught her. Yeah. Good luck to her room in next year. She'll figure it out. Yeah, it'll happen.

Life will teach her. So do you cook every meal? A lot of them. Yeah. A lot of them. Sometimes you get lazy. Right. And you postmates.

but even the healthy stuff that you're ordering it isn't really good for you. No. There's just a lot of salt and butter. What's like your go-to thing to cook? To cook? For dinner. For dinner, it's mostly Italian-based. Yeah.

Or stir-fry. Okay. I was trying not to eat as much pasta. And the problem is my wife is vegetarian. My daughter's vegan. Oh. So if I just want to go. Just protein and salad.

Right. My wife will eat fish once in a while. So I can get away with that. But then I've got to make something extra for my daughter. Right. You know, so I'll do stir fry and that kind of thing. Yeah, it's cut. It's tricky.

Right. You've got to kind of pin in. If everybody has different dietary. Yeah, yeah. Then your daughter should cook, I think. Yeah. She should. And then clean up after her.

And then because then you guys can all eat what she's making. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she can cook and then you can just clean. That's the trade-off. That would be good. But then she comes in. I don't feel like she postmates.

I have a nest camera, you know, out the front of the house. Yeah. And we were both traveling and she was home alone over the weekend. And our cat was missing. So I don't like spy on my daughter. I try not to. But the cat was missing. And someone heard a coyote.

So we were all on. Gosh. Dead cattle. What's your cat's name? Bowser. Bowser. And he just lives out in and out. Like there's no keeping.

He was here in New York and he would climb out on our balcony. Like he wants, he's a wild animal. He needs to go hunt. So there's no really keeping him in that much. Yeah. And he's going to lose a step and there are coyotes. Right. And we thought that's what went down the last over the weekend.

And so I was checking the nest camera to see if I just saw him. Right. So he'll just wander down the street. street, you know. It's his neighborhood. He has other homes. He lives in. It's all the thing. But anyway, I'm, check my nest camera. And I see a guy pull up and get out of the car with a latte and just bring that up. Like she's post- She's post-making a single latte to the house on her, on my gosh. That's really funny. That's not where I thought the story was going. Okay. Firstly, how is your cat okay? The cat survived.

I have two cats. I have two cats and so kimchi and roadie. Nice. So I care about cats here. Yeah. Are they outside? They have, so we do have coyotes around us now. So we only.

East Coast coyotes. We've got Bobcats. We've got Fox. We only let them out with supervision. So if I'm out in the garden, they'll come out and they kind of stay around. me. I get that question a lot of people like, how do they just know? And I'm like, I don't know. I think maybe they like smell

the wildlife, but they stay pretty close to me. There's been like a couple instances where it takes a little longer to find one of them. Yeah. You just feel so stupid in the middle of the night. Bowser! Well, so that's what we go. It has to be like between

two and five or something. And we bring them in before it gets because we've got hawks and owls. We can hear crazy stuff where we are. Yeah, you actually have more than we do. Yeah, like they could swoop down and pick them up. So we're taking a risk by letting them out. Yeah.

Love it. I know. That's the tradeoff. Yeah. They'd be so unhappy inside. I know. How is your cat's transition from New York City living to L.A. living? Pretty much loved it.

Yeah. Yeah. Just like, all right. Now, yeah. Your cat, too, was like, wow, the bathroom's huge. Like, look at all this space. Yeah, right. I'm not moving.

back to that city. Yeah, exactly. There's no way he'd come back. Right. He would go live at other people's homes. And there was a girl who thought it was her cat. Stop. Yeah. You know what I want to get, those little, what are they called the air tags? Yeah. We thought about doing that. Yeah. Put that on a collar. Yeah. I haven't, we actually got the air tags, but we haven't gone to the next step of actually putting it on the cats. Well, you're more motivated than I. I haven't even gotten. yet. I just think about it on the plane. So your cat's probably going from house to house eating dinner at everybody's house. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. There was a guy, he was an actor, and my cat apparently lived there for a while while while he was dying. And he didn't like pets, but he loved Bowser. Oh, my gosh. We had no idea any of this was happening. So then how did you find out? Because when we moved, she came. came and gave us a letter for Bowser.

So they knew it was your cat. They knew it was our cat. Never said anything. He was, Bowser befriended him and was like a comfort to him as he was dying of cancer. And after he passed, I guess shortly thereafter we were moving, and she came with this letter. When my wife went back to collect some things, gave the letter to Bowser saying, thank you. I never really liked, my husband never really liked animals before, but you made his life so great. And this whole love letter to, uh, to a house.

What a cat. What a cat. And then we moved to the new house. He's got new friends. And this girl who thinks that he's living with. I mean. Yeah. Isn't that wild?

This cat needs to run for mayor or something. I know. It would have been so bad if he was eaten by a coyote. Yeah, make sure that doesn't happen. It might. I know. You don't know. You don't know.

You don't know. Right. what is the biggest response as we're getting towards the end? What is the biggest response of the book? What's the part that people are saying, is there a part that people are saying with more frequency? This one kind of hit them? I think that,

I think just generally the notion of progress, not perfection, I think there's a lot of people that are like, oh, there's another way to live. Yeah. Like I don't have to be. hard on myself all the time. Like, I think people are like, wow, I need to maybe adopt that theory. And I've even had like moms come up to me and say that their kid was at school.

Like this woman told me that's the other day. Her kid was at school and the teacher was like, remember, practice for perfection. And her daughter was like, no, practice for progress. That's great. And she's like, she learned that from you. And I was like, oh, my God, that's adorable. Yeah. But yeah, I just, I think that in general people,

are like, oh my God, like, I don't, like, I'm so hard on myself and, like, I don't need to be. We are hung up on that. Yeah. And it's this thing, I think I've been talking about in my act. Like, there's a lot of this coming from, like, social media and stuff, we're seeing, we're learning so much about everybody that we're realizing that they're flawed and then tearing them down because they have something. Right. But no one's perfect. Nobody.

Can we just celebrate, like, the greatness that they had? I know. Like, rather than, you know. Tearing people apart. Yeah. Martin Luther King did great stuff. So, well, he had affairs. Right.

Okay. Yeah. So he's human? Right. All right. Right. Okay, but you're hustling. You're working like crazy.

You're cranking out this book. You did the tour. You're going back to work. You're doing all your stuff. You're in this relationship. How much do you carry that? Or are you hard on yourself? Well, I think that's why I've adopted this progress, not perfection mindset.

It's because I have been a perfectionist in my life. Like, I strive for greatness. I definitely, like, push myself really hard. And I have in. my career and personally. And so that a lot of my inspiration that I spit out in my Peloton classes are messages that I need to hear myself. So when I'm trying to get you up this hill and I'm telling you like, you can do it, it's because like I need to tell myself that. Right.

You know, so I definitely, I need to hear these silly mantras that I say that, you know, sometimes, you know, maybe they're cheesy, maybe they're not. maybe they hit you in the right moment. Like I could see the same thing every single class, but one day you're going to hear me say it and you're going to be like, oh, yeah, that's what I needed to hear. A hundred percent. And so I say these things because I need it. Like I need to focus on balance.

I need to prioritize family and self-love and self-care. That's why I talk about it is because I have to practice what I preach. And I do really believe in what I say because it has. impacted my life for the good when I do pay attention to taking care of myself. When I take care of myself, I can take care of other people. It's very cool. And the book's great. And it's the kind of cool thing that you can just keep around and just like, you don't have to plow through like a novel. Like you literally could go to the chapter that you just need that day. Yeah. It's great. Totally. Well, this was so fantastic. I knew this was going to be fun. You're so great.

Thank you. Thanks for having me. And I'm glad now that, uh, you put another face to someone on the... So what's your leaderboard name? I'm not going to tell you. That's private. Okay. I don't want you to see me not peddling. No, you know what my goal is?

My goal is always to be in the top third. That's great. If I can be in the top third, then I know I'm like, I'm kind of hustling. And then if I... Do you ever take live rides or always on demand? No, because I'm in L.A. Okay. And I'm usually...

It's too. It's too late by the time. All the morning classes are done. Right. And, yeah. Okay. And I don't like that option of... Sessions.

Session? Yeah, like, logging with one other person. You're like, who is this person? Get out of here. I'm just with the teacher. This is going fine. I don't need you around. Well, thank you so much.

This was great. Thank you. Thanks for having you. Well, there you have it, everybody. Emma Love Well, go get her book. Live, Learn, Love Well. Go to Tom. Papa.com, buy my new book, the tour. It's all on there. We're all in this together,

so make some room. You guys are the bestest. We'll see it next time.