Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 170 - Hurricanes and Bone Broth

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

We find Comfort Food during the Hurriquake!   Thank you to our sponsors! Green Chef is your one stop shop for nutritious, grab&go breakfasts, lunch kits and more. Go to https://www.greenchef.com/60papa and use code 60PAPA for 60% off and free shipping. And thanks to our sponsor Nuts.com! Right now, Nuts.com is offering new customers a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more at https://www.Nuts.com/PAPA.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, everybody. Welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I'm here with my good pal, Kyrus Altanovich. You look beautiful. Oh, thanks. Thanks for being here. My pleasure. I'm sorry, I'm covered in dough.

It's not a problem. You know, but I would like for you to, you know, just say that up front. So I'm not wondering, what is all this stuff splattered on Tom? shirt. Why is Tom so gross? Thank you all for being here. We're going to have a fun time today. I would like to thank our two sponsors today. First, greenchef.com. Green chef. This is good people. These people, whatever you want to eat and you want to make something and you're like, how do I do it? What are the ingredients? How am I going to put it together? And then you're lying on the supermarket

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You'll receive a free gift. and free shipping when you spend $29 or more. That's nuts.com slash papa. Thank you for coming along on the podcast. I made baguettes this weekend. I made regular bread this weekend. I was going to make biscuits and ran out of buttermilk. Oh, yeah, that's kind of the main thing.

Yeah. So I didn't make those. Very busy. No, really. I was just knocking around. This is what happens when you're not on the road. We're going to Las Vegas. September 2nd.

Wait a second. What? This weekend? No. No. Two weekends. Okay. I've really, yeah, I'm a little thrown by the, I've been, there were more weeks in August

than I planned for. Yeah, August for me feels like a jumble. Right? Like it didn't go one, two, three, August 4th, August 5th. It was like August 16th, August 5th. August 3rd. It's just, I don't know why. I don't know why either.

But we're going to be there at the win. We have a great show on September 2nd of Labor Day weekend, a great way to close out the summer. That's a great room. Then you and I are going to Tacoma. Very exciting. And what's the other one with Tacoma? I know there's Portland. It's south of Portland.

Oh. Salem. Salem. Salem. Salem. I know we're flying into Portland. We're flying into Portland. We're flying into Portland and out of Seattle.

Right? I don't know. I just saw there's one flight at 7.45 in the morning. And I just wanted to, you know, kind of discuss. That's on our way going up, right? Yeah. Yeah. I want to have open communication about getting up at 4 a.m.

Just if you could run that by, hey, how do you feel about getting up at 3.30 in the morning? How does that feel for you? When would you have gone? I don't know. Not 745. That means we got to get there. So then you would have taken the two o'clock flight. Oh, that's the, there's two flights?

Yeah. No. Mm-hmm. Come on. Mm-hmm. What? Yep. Because I knew if I booked it from LAX,

then you'd complain about that. Of course. So you want to fly out of Burbank and there's limited flights. What? Yeah. What's happening right now? I mean, I know you fly way more than I do, but I just feel like everything is a little bit nutsos.

It is nutzo's and it's limited. But we just survived a hurricane earthquake event. So we're lucky just to be here. Did you do anything exciting? Because we just pumped the water out of the pool and that's it. That was all that really... I have a magic pool that doesn't overflow. I mean, we have a regular pool.

No, it's not magic. What are you talking about? What? Because I hear about all these other people having to dump out water from their pool and mine just stays right at the rim. Come on. Like a well-bored martini. That's not. What?

I know. Magic. Yeah, my husband went out into the rain, dragged my kids along, which they loved. They were gladly. They were excited. And is doing some cranking. You know, when a guy's out there in the rain, you just see like a big rain cone. He's just cranking something and doing this. And he has it, I'm just inside.

Like, if it was a movie, it's like outside you hear the rain pouring and then inside it's like violin music, and I'm just sipping a cup of coffee and just my feet are up. I'm wearing a cozy little, whatever. What would it happen if he didn't crank? He has this fear of as if like a tsunami, a wave is going to come and hit our house. Yeah, I don't know what. You've seen our backyard. The pool is really far away.

Yeah, yeah. It really just rained. It rained. And that's it. And my kids don't have school today because there were some drips and draps. Then they can't possibly. And everyone's like what you guys, but the hype really, it got all my friends in the East Coast were like, are you okay? Yeah.

It looks like hell. Right. I'm like, I don't know what pictures you're looking at. You cannot look at any news because it's always some guy wearing those fisherman galoshes up to his waist, standing in an intersection. And as a woman drowning in her, you know, Toyota Corolla behind him. And he's like, it's really bad out here. And that's one intersection. Yeah.

In miles and miles and how huge is Los Angeles. I know Palm Springs got it bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But. So it's water. It's water.

Would you like the stats, the devastating stats? Oh. You ready? Oh, God. Was there like a dog in the L.A. River that drowned? Don't tell me. Zero deaths. What?

No, I want some deaths. I know. Come on. I know. Zero. Come on. No, I need a few. I need like a dozen to make it.

The weird. The weird part was when the earthquake hit. That did make it, it was like a little extra. It felt like Fonzie jumping the shark. It was like, I was in my office. Is it season four of this? It started rocking and it kept rocking. The dog started barking.

I was like, really? Is this what really? Yeah. It's like when you're watching your favorite show, it's like, remember lost? Yeah. And they started putting in that code. That's when I tuned out. I was like, oh, so there's also a code you got to put in for DARPA.

What was it? I don't know. Yeah. It felt like, come on, guys. It's like when I opened Instagram this morning and the only story was about a flesh-eating bacteria that killed a couple people in Florida and one in Connecticut and one in New York. I was like, I'm not paying attention to that. Do you know I do have friends in Back East who sent me a video saying, oh, my God, I just saw it. your subway system is flooded.

And I responded, I said, that's Universal Studios. They sent me a clip of the studios tour. No. Yes. Where the water's coming and got, and by the way, that's supposed to be a San Francisco community. You know, we've all taken the Universal Studios tour. And I go, that is a theme park.

They're like, what? We thought your subways are flooded. And I said, if the subways were flooded, that'd be the most action. LA Subways have ever gotten. I think that the reason it's such a big story is that everybody is worried that the stars from their favorite show are going to be underwater. It was like, if there's a tropical storm in Florida, everyone's like, yeah, it's bad. But if it's here, they're like, the cast of Stranger Things is in trouble. So I got a WGA email saying, you know, if it's really rainy, please don't pick it.

Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm an adult. Thank you. Who needs this email? I mean, God bless you. I'm in SAG as well, and I got the same thing. Like, hey, guys, there's a storm. Please do not pick it during a storm.

Yeah. I got it. Yes. I know how the world works. I also take care of other humans besides me and everything's okay, but I appreciate. The full-on panic. And he did that when it was 100 degrees, too. Hey guys, we're taking an afternoon hiatus from picketing.

It's going to be 100. Yeah, you don't say no more. I wasn't planning on being out there at 100 degrees. I got it. All the teamsters can drive on through because I'm not standing there. It's 112. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was a lot of hype.

And it definitely, I mean, it was weird that we even had rain in August. It was kind of like, oh, wow, I guess we are going to stay inside. My question for you, and I was. thinking about it yesterday was for us it was you're inside there's a storm so we had crapes in the morning and then we had chocolate chip cookies later on and we had a lot of fun things to eat and what did you do because you don't think I am capable of fun I'm picturing you like kids time for ribs here's your here's your here's your here's your hurricane cane jerky.

Oh my God. Well, I made my kids and some neighborhood kids that came over hot cocoa. You did. And it was an expensive, organic, not the cheapy stuff that's like full of corn syrup solids. It was like high-end, really cocoa, like. How are the marshmallows? Okay, so let me explain something to you. There were no marshmallows.

I'll tell you why. I live with a feral child. My daughter is, I've told you this, I've already told you, it's like living with a raccoon. Yeah. She digs around in all the little things in the pantry. Like these little teeth marks. You know what I mean? You know like when you go camping and you realize, oh my gosh, an animal got into.

Yeah, that's her. And she opened up the mini marshmallows bag and doesn't understand how sugar works with air. Uh-huh. And they were hard as a rock. Oh. They had all gotten stale because they're in the back and they're rarely used. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you hate sugar. Because I hate sugar.

That's why I looked at your stains, and I was like, oh, how dare you? I, and you have some on your arm hairs. And so I said, guys, sorry, and I looked at Claire. Oh. The marshmallows aren't good anymore. Claire. And she just kind of sunk behind the counter. Well, that's nice that you had marshmallows there.

I did. I was going to make a bar. bone broth soup. It's not exciting for you. Nothing says comfort food like bone broth. It is when it's a cold wintery day in August. So many times when I was like a little kid and my mom was like, I'm going to make you mac and cheese and I was like, go you have bone broth instead?

All right. You know what? They are fine. They're fine. They are well adjusted. I know. I was just thinking about you yesterday when I was eating the cookie. And I'll say.

I woke up this morning a little cranky Because I had a lot of sugar yesterday You overloaded your system And now it has to detox My 8 year old also had a slumber party Over the weekend Friday night You don't call them sleepovers? Slumber sleep

Well you guys are like the East Coast Like you call the beach the shore It's different, yeah Slumber. Slumber party Slumber party I made them little mini heart waffles For breakfast Ooh, out of what?

Some gluten-free flour that I got. I don't even know what it is. It's just a gluten-free mix. And stevia. Ooh. Vanilla-flavored stevia drops to sweeten it up with some cinnamon. Oh, I think I saw a recipe for those. They're called flat waffles, right?

No, I put in the waffle maker. I have a wafflinger. Aren't they flat? What kind of waffles? Do you have a fist waffle? I make a sourdough waffles. Oh, here we go. And they're as thick as a baby's leg.

Why? They're delicious. Why do you need it that thick? Because they're joyful. Waffles don't need to be aggressive like that. You ever seen like a Belgian waffle? Yes. And it's too much waffle.

Is it? It's too much. They're so airy. They're light and airy. Yeah, but I'm not a lot of. Unless you have gluten-free flour and then it's, flat and sad. It was a, it was cute.

How thick was it? They're like a little waffle maker. So they're whatever, a waffle maker. A mini waffle maker. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. With maple syrup on top.

No way. I'm not a monster. What? I know you want to paint me out to be some sort of monster. And I'm not. What's stevia? I do a bit about how there is an alternative to butter. And it's called sadness.

But I do, I mean, there are, it's the sad, it's the sad sugar. The sad sugar. The sad sugar. I'm with you there. I don't need a lot of sugar. I had the salt thing, by the way, with your marshmallow thing. I needed salt and my wife went and got it. And it came back solid rock.

A brand new. A brand new salt. Oh. Yeah, completely cannot open it. I mean, got it open when nothing comes out. I'll turn you on to my salt. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

It's from Utah. Utah salt. Yes. What is it? It's pure. Redmond's. Redmond. Yes.

They mine it. Out of the salt. Ground. Oh, because of Salt Lake City. Ooh, I didn't even put that together. Or as you call it, Salt Lake City? Salt Lake City. That was my nickname in high school, by the way.

Is that where it comes from? That's a good question. I don't know where in Utah, but that might, yeah. I know it's like underground caves. It's super pure and it's so delicious. Really? Yeah. Can I get it?

in the supermarkets? For sure. You're a weirdo. Where do you get it? I just buy it online. You do? Yeah. You ship it.

Yeah. Because I get big ones. And do you feel like that you're shipping the salt is caused the hurricane? I mean, they probably had a lot to do with it. Right. Yeah. I saw someone a, I guess like a YouTube star, got shamed because she always talks about climate change and stuff,

and she got shame because she's wealthy now and takes her private playing places. So all of her fans turned on her. Well, there is a little bit of hypocrisy in that. That's why we're wise to not act like we're trying to save the planet and just order salt from far away. Let me explain something to you. I order my flower that way.

Where do you order it from? Utah. Do you really? Mm-hmm. When we go to Utah for the shows? Oh, yeah, we're going to Salt Lake City. We got to pick up some salt and flour, and then we'll feel like we balanced it out. And then bring it back with us?

Yeah. Which is also on a plane. God damn it. Well, how do you think it got to your grocery stores? We might be splitting up on that one, by the way, because I think I might have to go to New York. What? Sorry. I'm coming to New York with you.

You want to come? Yeah. All right. What's in New York? Come to Pop a lot. I'm going to know what is it. That's my radio show. You never heard of it?

I have, but which one? Come to Papa Live. You have so many. I know. You have a lot. Yeah. There's a lot. What has to go?

Nothing. Just letting you know. I don't know, you know. Do you feel like you get too scattered? Like, I feel like I wrote out all of my jobs. Yeah. On each on an individual piece of paper. Okay.

And it fills up the table. And it's spread too thin. But you're getting it done so you can do it. And my kids are leaving next week. Wow. So I'll have plenty of time. I just want you to post videos of you and your wife just sitting there staring at each other. Yeah.

And that's it. It's going to be so great. That's all it is. Of course, we'll miss it. them. Of course. But it's going to be, it's, we're kind of done with that phase. Is there any part of you that can see that even as a concept?

You're so in it. You're so deep. I'm, I'm in it. I mean, I'm still. Like there's no, that didn't even cross my mind. You know it can, it's going to happen at some point, but that point seems light years away from where you're sitting, right? So I still check butts.

I don't like this part of the conversation. When you're still checking butts, you don't feel like it's ever going to end. I had a listener right in. Oh, no. A complaint? Not a complaint. But they asked, what is she looking for? All the answers.

Because you do know. Some of your sourdough starter. You do know that not a lot of people do this. Well, you mean people or parents? Parents. Okay. I get it. They also don't make bone broth.

Your kids are stopped up. I'm looking for anything. Why? Answers. Why are you up there? All right. Well, I don't. Just from the parent brochure.

Yeah. From the handbook. Yeah. You don't have to do that. It's not in the thing. Sometimes you don't want to do it and they offer it. And you can't say no. Yeah, my eight-year-old will offer.

Can you look at my butt real quick? Why? Again, why? Why would an eight-year-old open a bag of marshmallows eat just two little. little mini marshmallows and leave the whole bag open to stale. Why? I don't know. They're kids. You can't say no. You can't reject them. You can't be like, ew, gross. You're weird. And now that's their thing for the rest of their life. My mommy said my butt's weird. People have to

put things in it. Like, I don't want that. No, but you do want them to walk around thinking, you know what? Maybe I should keep my butt to myself. To yourself and your mom. No. Yeah. You have girls. They must have asked your wife to look at stuff. I think this was a mom that asked the question. Oh, well, then she needs to come to me directly, and we will take it. I don't think in the parent playbook, I think that's not really a thing. In case of emergency, we've got something going on as a regular, hey. I don't trust my eight-year-old, and maybe you trust your children, and that's where we differ.

I don't trust her. To do what? Anything. Honestly, she walked. I'm standing outside with our neighbor. We have a great cul-de-sac. Everyone hangs out, all the parents chat. Yeah, the kids are riding their bikes, okay?

And I jokingly say to the mom that lives right across the street from us and another mom two doors down. I jokingly say, hey, ladies, if my kids ever go to your house, check your pockets. I mean, check their pockets, check, you know what I mean? Like make sure, because they're criminals, especially my eight-year-old is a criminal. Just then, my eight-year-old, who was in the house directly across the street, comes out and I literally see bulges in her pockets. And I said, what's in your pockets?

By the way, for that one listener that I didn't ask what's in your butt. I said, what's in your pockets? And she pulls out, you know those expensive stones that people buy for their homes? It looks like quartz and stuff like that to decorate their backyard. She pulls out too and says the five-year-old that lives there let her have them. The five-year-old doesn't know anything, number one. And I look at the mom and I go, do you see what I mean? And I said, go put them back right now.

And you never leave anyone's house with things in your pockets. I don't care. Unless it's your birthday or Christmas, do not accept anything from anybody. Like, they're just criminals. My daughter went through that phase. She was stealing from school a lot. Okay. Yeah, mine does that too.

Yeah. But it's always like, oh, so-and-so gave it to me. And I go, you tell them, I want you to act. Like you work for the city. I'm not allowed to take any gifts or presents. I'm not allowed to accept this. I work. I'm a government official.

Like, I want you to pretend you're a politician, and you're not allowed to accept gifts or bribes. Yeah, you're so far from them leaving. I'm so far. That's what I mean. And you know what? One of your other listeners emailed me directly. Oh, yeah?

And I hope she's listening. Cheryl. And gave me, because I talked about CBO, gave me all of her butt issues. What? Yeah. So it goes both ways. What?

Yes. That doesn't sound like both ways. This sounds like all your way. No, she gave me, and I don't mind it, but she gave me a lot of information. I don't mind Cheryl, okay? Email me anytime. But she was like, oh, here's what's happening in my pants. All right.

Well, you open yourself up. You, you know, you attract things. I open my butt up. You open your butt up, and that's what comes your way. don't mind. I'm open to it. I like this kind of stuff. I could have been like a holistic practitioner, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like blood and things of that nature. No, of course not. Oh, and speaking of my kid on Friday, first day of P.E. Yeah. Where they have to like get dressed. Yeah. Junior high. First time ever. Getting dressed. Oh, getting changing. Although I

have taken to Korean spas and he saw a lot of dongs in the dressing room. My husband was like, I think he's going to have an issue. I think he's going to have nightmares tonight. But anyway, so he has been worried about it all week. All week. Sure. Finally, you know, it's the first class of the day on Friday. He bends down to get dressed.

And the locker above him, the kid opens it. He stands up. The corner goes right in his head. Talk about getting out of P.E. So we got a blood gushing. He said he immediately went to put his hand. on it and he just saw blood coming down and he went and then he goes to the you know nurse of course and they call me and i see the name you know when you see the name on your phone pop up of the

school and i answer what happened like i always answer because i just get to it hi we just want to what happened and just tell me oh you know he you know he needs to go home basically it's a head injury. He needs to go home. Brutal. You know, I go to pick him up. It's just crusted blood. And I first thing I said to him, anything to get out of gym, huh?

He just, like, looked at me like, mm. Your whole, your whole, the whole experience of raising children is just constant worry that they're going to hit their head on a corner of something. Yes. The coffee table, a locker, a door. It's, it's just the worst. Did he need stitches? No, thankfully. No stitches needed.

My freshman year in college, there was a movie that came out where it wasn't a great movie, I don't think. Ernest goes to camp? Probably that, but that was an amazing movie. Where it takes place on a college campus, the dorms, the roommate tries to kill the other roommate because he found out you just get all A's if your roommate dies. Does this sound familiar at all? No. Okay, it wasn't that great.

Anyway, my roommate saw this movie. I'm telling you, it's not a coincidence. A few days later, we went to the library together, and she took me to a section that I'd never been to before. She's like, can you come with me, and I need you to help me find some book, and I have to cite some sources, whatever, for my paper, and I was like, okay, why do you need me to come with you?

I don't know, I just, I can't find it. She took me to this section I'd never been to before. where the books were massive. Massive book. They looked like something out of Harry Potter, you know, like some spell book. It was, I'm not exaggerate. They were so huge.

Yeah. And she's like, oh, I think what I need is down there. Can you check for me? So I bent down to check for her. She stepped up on a little ladder. And next thing I know, one of those huge massive books, she dropped it on my head. What?

I think she was trying to murder me to get straight A's. How is it that just three days earlier you were telling me about this movie? And now I have to go to the hospital? Did you have to go to the hospital? Of course. I had a massive head injury. She tried to murder me so she could pass algebra. Did you ask her?

Of course. Did you try to murder me? 100%. What she said? She was a terrible person. If you're listening, sorry. You know you were, she was. First roommate?

Yeah, that was my roommate in the dorms. No. Yeah. She was awful. Did you know right away? That she was awful? Yeah. 100%.

Really? She saw me, I'm 5'8. Uh-huh. She was like 5'2. Uh-huh. And by the way, I've been the same size since college. Right. I've worn the same size clothes.

Yeah. And she said, if only you would like lose some weight, we could totally share clothes. Uh-huh. How would I wear your clothes as a scarf? I'm 5-8 and you're 5-2. You're a little person. You're small.

What am I going to wear? Everything is caprize? How was she able to pick up that giant book with her little hands? I know. I think honest, well, here was, this is what she said. It slipped. This whole thing was a setup. To help you go in that section.

In that section. There's no books you need in this section, you idiot. And then you drop it on. on my head right after you watch a movie about how if your roommate dies, you can always. It is such a weird thing because my second one's going off to school. Yeah. And it is such a weird thing that, so I'm just going to leave my home. And then tomorrow night, I'll be in a room, a single room with another human being, I don't know,

listening to them breathe as we go to sleep. It is a weird concept. That's why, did you send your kids to summer camp? No. A couple of years, like for a little bit. Okay, so you train them, but that's why you train your kids. Yeah. To share a space, a confined space with strangers and deal with their...

Yeah, no, she was my second roommate, too. She was? One. The first one died mysteriously in the library. The first one, really did have a medical, like, snoring condition. And she told me right off the bat. She's like, I just want to let you know.

And she did not exaggerate. It was impossible, so I had to get a new roommate. So this one that tried to kill me was my second one. It was, it wasn't even. Joe, he shut that door. It wasn't even snoring. It was like she was suffocating every night, like almost dying. Like apnea.

Yeah, no, it was frightening. If your husband needed a sleep apnea machine, would you divorce him? He has one of those pap smears. Yeah. Oh, he does? Pap machines, see Pap. What's that like sleeping next to? It's hilarious.

He looks ridiculous. Every night. Every night. So he's got a lie on his back? No, he tosses and he turns. And then sometimes a little bit of air gets through. So it makes it even worse. It's like a wheezing.

So you can turn over with that. those things on your face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. And I do a very immature thing where I pick my legs up and I slam them on the bed. Because it does two things. It gets out my aggression for being woken up. Yeah.

And it wakes him up and he kind of, he's used to it now. My wife and I are going through this thing where we, if someone has a issue, can't sleep, we leave and go to the guest room. Yeah. And that bed is amazing. Our bed is horrible. And literally, like, the last couple of nights, I'm trying to sleep. My wife is, I'm having trouble falling asleep.

My wife is snoring. So I just get up after struggling, get up, go in there, and I'm asleep in two seconds. Why can't you move that bed in your room? My wife went last night and she went up. There's something about going into that bed. You just, and I don't know how much of it is the mattress, how much of it is just being alone. Being alone. I think being alone, because it's like, there was a part of me last night that was, I heard her kind of fumbling, and I was like, maybe she'll just go to the guest room.

And she did. And then I fell asleep. Yeah. It's hard being with another human being sometimes in the same bed. Well, Mike has the fan on. I don't need a fan. Yeah. at all.

Right. It's actually awful for me. Because it's all I think about. Even my eyes are closed and I'm like, it's spinning above me. And it's all I think about. Yeah. And then he likes to crack a window open. He's all about fresh air.

But then he also blast the AC. So we have the AC blasting, a window open, a fan. It's just constant. Ha, shah, yeah. It's just movement. He needs movement. Shab, shab, shah, and sounds. Jav, shah.

And a machine on his face. And a mac. and then a little bit of air gets in. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. We should not have to sleep in the same bed all the time. I don't think we should live together.

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Would I? Yeah. Sure, I'll have one. Would you have a jelly bean? Yes. What about a drawbreaker? Oh, jawbreaker sounds aggressive. Kids are going back to schools.

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How did you get one? You go to nuts.com. And then you get a party tray? Yeah. Did you do this for a party? I brought it to my mom's caretakers at her nursing home. Right? Because you always want to bring them stuff.

Yeah. It's kind of like a hey, don't forget her butt. Another butt. butt to worry about. Oh my God. Come on. You guys with the butts. It's part of it.

It's not. They have to take, yes, they take care of my mom. I want to feel like, you know, don't forget my mom. I love my parents to death. Yeah. Beautiful people. I'm pretty sure, even if they were in trouble, I'll never see inside the butts. I hope you don't because.

No, I won't. Okay. Well, then I, you can afford someone to go into their butts. I had to take care of my mom. mom's butt. When she first, this was 2019, you know, we didn't know what was happening, what's going on. And, yeah, I had to do it. No, you didn't. Listen.

Yes, you do. No. You gotta. You can't ignore someone's butt. Mm-hmm. You're the one that started this showing me that tattoo butt. Oh, yeah. Full-body tattoo.

You don't have any tattoos. Zero. That's like the new cool. That's right. It really is. Ooh. It's really the new cool. Would you be okay with your daughters getting tattoos?

One has two tattoos. Oh, the older one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, you do. I know you do. I do. And your wife does.

But I'm like a funny body. A funny body? What is that? You know, I'm like, let me silence this. I, you know, what are you ruining by putting a tattoo on my body? Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Well, I don't think that's helpful.

You got weird. Yeah. Patches of hair. Yeah. Well, you know, saggy parts, dangley bits. I have a friend who... If you put a tattoo on this. It's okay.

It might even make it better. Yeah. Yeah. Room for improvement. Yeah. You take a young, beautiful 20-year-old, perfect specimen. Yeah. And you tattoo that.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you need a skull on your upper arm? Yeah. You're, like, all right. pretty great. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you need a Pringles cam? Whoa. That's not what it is. Oh, God. Meaningful, they look nice or whatever. I mean, it is the culture. But I do feel like the new badass thing is to not have any. Mm.

I guess finally. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. You should own it. And then when you get a little older and things are going south, then you get that full back tattoo. I mean, that is, first of all, to explain to people what you showed me.

It's absolutely every inch of this man's back, his arms, yes, all the way, the butt, and I believe the top of the legs. I mean, it just looks like, and then it's colorful, like it's all colored in, which I don't know anything about tattoos, but I'm going to assume that's double, triple the work. It's shaded and pretty and beautiful, like very, very. Very vibrant. Yeah, gorgeous. Like a, like a, I want to say. Painting? Well, yes, I was going to say like a parrot.

Like a parrot. He did look like a parrot. He looked like a parrot. He looked like a parrot. But why? That seems like a lot of time. Yeah. A lot of money.

A lot of pain. I don't get. That's the part I don't get. Yeah, I don't. Well, here's the thing. There is a joy to the pain. Why? I don't know.

See? That's how. But there's like there's something about the activity of the n-y-ing. That is satisfying. That's where you and I, see, I have a butts thing and you have a tent. Like I could not. I would get more, though. Because like I said, you know, what am I doing?

I have no desire. Zero. That's why you're cool. I'm giving you the credit. I appreciate that. Really? Thank you. I'm so square.

I'm cool. Yes, there's a purity to it. I wish there was a purity to not wanting edibles or, you know, like all my friends are like edibles and we're microchroaming and we're, you know, all the stuff. I think we talked about it last time. I was microchuming yesterday during the hurricane. It's nothing. It's like you've had, you know, a different cup of coffee. Okay.

There's a little something to it, but not much. I am enjoying it. I'm wondering why, though. empty nester no why do it like i guess it's just to mellow you out a little stress-free it does kind of seem to linger like the next day it seems to linger yeah and you're just a little less anxious a little more focused yeah maybe then i don't know then do you need more do you see what i'm saying yeah i don't know i think the the way i saw it described was you do it one day, then the next day, it kind of lingers.

Then the next day is a normal day. And then you do it again. And the next day you do ketamine. There isn't, you don't really, it's not like you're high. No. Okay. Yeah. But I'm not sure why to continue doing it.

Like to fix what? Right? All those papers on your desk. Yes. It is, you know what? I mean, that is kind of why I, maybe that's, helping me look at all of those jobs and be like, what can I eliminate? How do I focus and get this out of here?

You know what I mean? Maybe give them to your nephew before he makes that Chinese chicken salad. Here's a little microdose. I know you're overwhelmed by all these ingredients. You can do it. Yeah. Do you meditate? Not officially.

There's no judgment. There's no judgment, I know. But no, I will when I do a yoga class. I find that is my meditative state. You still doing a lot of yoga? Yeah, yeah, twice a week at least. Really? I try to do more, but.

Hour and a half? It's an hour class that I take. Hour class? Yeah. So like half yoga? Yeah. Hour and a half's long. Hour and a half is too much.

It's too much. I'm so busy. Yeah. All I'm doing is now thinking about like, oh God, the post office. You know, I just have too much. Yeah. Are you ever the person that leaves on, during the asana at the end?

If I have to, if I have to. Yeah, because you'll do the whole class, and then there's like 10 minutes of lying on your back. But I would love to do that. My dad, I got my dad into yoga. Oh, yeah? And it's hilarious. Is he, is he?

It's just so fun to listen to him. Today they make you stretch your back. And, you know, I tell the lady, I, it's stretched. Like, yes, you have to do it every. day like he doesn't understand like every day. It's like I do this yesterday. Let's go. Something else.

Pop, just follow what she's doing. It doesn't sound like it's mellowing him out. No, I think it is. He actually really likes it. It is the best thing you can do. One of the best things. Right. The other one is if you go to nuts.com.

It's the second best thing. No, it is. I personally, I wish my husband would get into it. And I wish they. Made it part of school. Yeah. You know? My kid's going to do square dancing.

It's a physical activity, but it also has the mental benefits. Yes. It really, now that we're saying it, you don't need microdosing if you're doing yoga twice a week. Well, I do hot yoga. Remember I wanted to drag you to one of the classes? But I sweat so much during regular yoga. I'm a pool. I know.

The idea of it being hot makes no sense to me. You're literally squeezing your pain. Creas out. Yeah. It's the best. Really? Yeah. But there's never, I can never sweat too much.

There's no such thing for me. Yeah, no, I don't mind. I just don't. I should try it. I'll try it. I was so good when I didn't have a radio show when I had less fewer jobs. I would go at nine o'clock two times a week. And that would go nine to ten 30.

And then you slept great. Slept great. Posture was great. Everything was great. Everything was better. You're going to do it more now that you, your kids, are both at college. Yes.

Because, this is what I keep saying, because at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I don't have to worry that someone's going to call me with an emergency pickup at karate. Yes, that's exactly it. You and your wife should do it together. Yeah? Yeah.

She's teaching again. She's back teaching. So she's probably going to be exhausted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her thing was to do with her teaching schedule, Pilates, at 530 in the morning. morning. Okay.

5.30, because it was the only time to get a workout in. All right. She's not Tom Cruise. Come on. You should be sleeping. She should be sleeping. You know, you ever like see like, well, what is, how does Matthew McConaughey keep his physique up? And he will like, oh, well, at four o'clock, I get up and take a cold plunge.

And from 430 to 5.45, I think Mark Wahlberg recently posted his thing. It literally is 4 a.m. I meditate for an hour. He, that's literally what he wrote. Yeah, he gets up at like three. Yeah, to work out and meditate and then do a run. His Instagram is pretty great. Have you watched his Instagram? Yes.

It's here's my clothing line. Here's my tequila. Yeah. And stay prayed up. He has a little, I don't know, you, you're a Catholic. What are those little like things that you. A little altar? Yes.

I don't know if it's at his house. Yes. It is? It is. He said it's at his house. And he kneels, he's like from 645 to 715, I do 15 Hail Marys or whatever. He is organized. Now, again, that could all be for Instagram.

But he's posting it. He's posting his nonstop with his little workout clothes. And he's in the gym, what's he call? Like the 4 o'clock club or something? And he goes to the gym and then he, it's like, whenever I see guys like that, I'm like, you know what they're not doing? Writing. They're not writing.

But that can't be everything. He doesn't have to write. He's a movie star. Right. But that can't be everything. You know when he was really so great. When? Ted.

Yeah. The little stuff bear movie. That really was. Yeah. He was so good in that. Really. Have you been watching Seth McFarland's Oroville? Did I already ask you about this?

No. Yeah. It's good? No. Oh, no? Really? It's okay. It's okay.

I was expecting more. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's okay. God.

We could be those people. Get up at 4 a.m. and pray? Mm-hmm. No. No, thank you. I would be, well, I would be, they're not writing and they're not doing stand-up sets at night. They're not going to bed at like 9 o'clock.

They're not going to Burbank at 6.45 in the morning. What's in Burbank? We're flying out of there. Oh. I figured early flakes you'd be good with because you're a mom, you're up, you're going. I'm up. I'm going. As long as I check all the butts, what happened to you?

Joey, my chair just. What happened to you? Oh my God. I didn't do that. Joey, what happened to the chair? There you go. This was a lot of fun. We got to go.

I did have a good time. Did you? Always. When we go to the win in Las Vegas, are we going to get a lot of? Are we going to gamble this time? I am, I hope this makes me cool, too. I don't gamble. Neither do I.

Oh, we are coolest. So cool. I'm boring. I know. I'm really, really boring on the road. Me too. That's why we go on. That's why you probably take me

because I don't cause any drama. The most excitement is where are we going to have coffee before we get? Weren't we talking about this? Like, Bert Kreisher, the comics he brings with him. Yeah. He'll knock on their door at three. in the morning and make them like drink being a video a keg stand and yeah and yeah i mean i i couldn't even imagine no what would you do if i knocked on your door when we're in tacoma i knock on your door

at three in the morning and you open it and i'm there with my bread phone getting ready to do a video be like you got to eat this bread 3 30 chug chug chug would you just shut the door absolutely i wouldn't even open it. I would not even, I would call security. What if I wake you up at four in the morning? Our flight, because I don't think our flights are, our flights are not early. They're not bad. In between.

They're like 10 o'clock. It's fine. If I wake you up at six, we're leaving the hotel at eight. I wake you up at six and say it's time to get prayed up. No, I'd rather do a keg stand. I'd rather do a keg stand. Why won't you pray with me? What are we going to pray about?

What would we? I want to hear you pray. You went to Catholic school. I did. All right. How would you start it off? All I got is the Our Father and then throw in a couple, forgive me for any of my sins. And then can you get me back on TV?

Oh, I'll do that prayer with you. We can do a get back on TV. The Our Father unlocks it. Yeah. And then you. You get a couple asks. Okay. Right?

Do I have to, like when I speak to Jesus, does he have to know I'm a Jew or can I just slide in? I think you can just slide in. Can I be a plus one? He's not judgy. Okay. Except when he's smiting you. But he, I never know. Do you have to say it out loud?

I don't know. You tell me. Or can you just do it in your head? And if you are just doing it in your head, does that mean that he's hearing all your other thoughts? Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, exactly. So then maybe you do have to say it out loud.

Maybe. Or maybe there's like an opt-out, like on iPhones. Ask not to track. Can you ask Jesus not to, like, can you put a piece of tape over? When we're at the camera with Jesus. When we're at the Marriott, courtyard Marriott. Oh, my God. You spoiled me.

In the lobby. I think we should just do it out loud. We should just start praying. Pray out loud. Not in our heads. Because I don't want to just have you, I'll be thinking that you're thinking about other things unless I hear you saying the prayers.

Did I ever tell you how there was a couple sitting next to me praying before a flight took off? No. Out loud? Yeah. See, they did it out loud. They did it out loud. Saying what?

Just please Lord God, our father, our savior, keep us safe on this flight to Albuquerque. You know what I mean? It's like, and I'm just sitting there, and I'm looking around to see if anyone else, is anyone else hearing this? And I'm looking, because I'm in the window. Yeah. And I'm looking to the other aisle.

And I'm trying to make eye contact like a flight attendant walks by, excuse me, and they are, and they got the rosaries. Wow. And they're doing like in a frankincense, like a priest down an aisle, like everything. Yeah. Full on praying. What about the Orthodox? Oh, Jesus.

Geez, don't get me. Jews with the sponges. Yeah, the box. Yeah, the box. Yeah, I know. And the rocking. It's not okay. That's not okay at the gate.

No. And they do it. I know. I get that it's helping you, but it's making us nervous. Can you give us the words? Can we join in? And they don't want you to join in. That's the thing.

Jews are like, stay out. Yeah. Get out and stay out. And when you fly out of Israel, which I have several times, everyone's doing it. Everyone's doing it. And it's normal. What's the box? I think it has like a little secret, like some sort of little secret message in it.

Really? Yeah. I don't know. I'm a chick so they don't want you to know. Oh, you're not allowed to know. Right. I can always call the vice president of Judaism, which is Avi Lieberman. And he'll tell you what's in the box.

What's in the box? What's in the box? But yeah, it's very off-putting. Well, we won't go to that extent. We'll just whisper our prayers on the fly. when we're about to take off. Who do we pray to, Fran Dresher? Ooh.

To get back on TV. Well, I think we have to just go with a uniting God. Oh. Catholic, Jewish, just the big G, the O-G. But which one? Well, in the Old Testament, it was a shared one. Oh, I didn't know they shared it. Yeah.

Oh. Why can't we go back to those days? It's just God. It's just a God? It's just God. Okay. The other day my eight-year-old asked if God sits like on a cloud up in the sky. And I said, well, what do you think?

She's like, maybe. And I go, you're wrong. I said, nope, absolutely not. Wrong answer. I'm the worst. I might be the worst. I don't know. Worst mom ever, maybe.

We'll change it when we're in Tacoma. Why? What's happening? Oh, we should pray in Vegas. I bet there's chapel. There are chapels. Oh, for sure. That's where people go get married.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll just go to get our, what does he say? Stay prayed up. Prayed up. Drink my tequila. It's a weird message. This was a lot of fun. Go to tompapa.com.

Look up all of the dates. As we mentioned, we're also going to San Francisco in Salt Lake City, Tacoma and Salem and Las Vegas. That's a lot of dates. We have a lot going on. I know. It's a busy September. I know. All on the West Coast.

Very exciting. Also, huge shows coming up in New Jersey at the NJ. the biggest show we've ever done in the home state of New Jersey. So make sure you come out for that one. Four ounce. We got it.