Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 179 - the new Dave Hill Book Is Here! And he brought it to the pod

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

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Hey! Don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody. Welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa.

We have a great one for you today. My dear friend, Dave Hill, is here, and he has a new book. Look at that. A brand new book. The awesome game. One man's incredible globe-crushing Hockey Odyssey. Very excited.

Very proud. We'll get all. all into it. It's going to be very exciting. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me, Tom. I was talking to the audience. Oh, yeah. We'd like to thank the good people at nuts.com. Nuts.com. I love Nuts.com. An amazing website that gives you lots of treats. What kind of treats, I'll tell you. Cachios, amends, pistachios, dried mango, ginger, caramelized, crystallized ginger, dates, jelly beans. Do you like jaw breakers? Oh my gosh. You kidding. Well, you can get some at Nuts.com. How about this blast from the past? Root beer barrels.

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because she lives in Los Angeles and I am in New York City. I'm very excited. I snuck in here. I had a show in Connecticut and then a show at the NJPack legendary show. Over 2,000 people

in the big room at the NJPack. It was a homecoming of sorts and all these beautiful Oh yeah, you're from New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey. Did your sister come? Of course. Love her.

Sisters, parents, great school kids. Are you, no, do you go like, so what are you up to? What, what, what, what have you sold out lately? I, oh, you work in sales? Yeah. I'll go, oh my God, I almost, I guess, we're talking after the show at the bar after I said, I'll be talking and they'll be like,

you know, it's really great and everything. And then I'll say, oh, God, it didn't even incur to me to ask what you're doing. And then they'll be like, well, I, no, I didn't ask. It's too late. And then you just grab them by the shoulder. It's so good to see you. We gotta keep in touch.

No, it was a very, it was very the inner. circle crew so all the people I love and it was really it was really great and then yesterday I come cruising into the city and I know that I'm going to see after I saw my daughters at college and did this whole whirlwind

and I started driving into the Holland Tunnel and that's when I texted you and I said jeans question mark because jeans not like what are you wearing jeans with a G is our beloved

Italian restaurant on 11th. Yeah, I almost don't want you to tell people exactly where I wanted them to work for it. Yeah, well, I didn't say Wood Avenue. No, it was, I was in there recently. It was a little too crowded for my tastes. For real. Yeah, there was like guys who weren't baseball hats. What?

Yeah, I took Umbrage. Did you say to the, to the staff, hey, someone's breaking the rules? Yeah, I was like, less of that, please. Yeah. um they knew my brother-in-law belongs to a country club in rocklin county and i walked in there after playing golf with him and the bartender said no hats as well i i'm do you agree with that like i am whenever i see someone a man wearing a hat indoors like at a restaurant yeah i become like an 80-year-old man with a pocket watch i just start freaking out inside yeah i want to

went to a friend's funeral and there were guys not only wearing hats but mini fedoras which i believe is a triple violation in the church and i in the church yeah and i wanted to walk around and be like but the priest started talking all you have to do is walk around like a grown-up yeah and go no hats no hats and they'll take that's it yeah you're a man yeah that's i am a party figure I shaved the other day. It's a good thing. I really, I was, I was talking about this with my wife. My wife.

Cynthia. Yeah. We were talking about how L.A. has been kind of, very crimey around us. And it really feels like you have no mayor. It feels like, oh yeah. It feels like no one's in charge.

New York feels that way. You never hear a statement. You never hear like, we're going to do, this guys, we're all good. And even on the national level, just because I think Biden's doing a good job, he's trying his best, but he doesn't project

that thing of, we're all, I got you guys, we're good. You know, you're just kind of like get through whatever you're going to say. Just please, please get through it, you know what I mean? So there's a feeling right now that there's not a lot of adult presence, and there's

not a lot of people telling you, we're good, which you need. but we still need like a parent figure. That's what these really, those roles really are. I'm saying, I got you. There's better days ahead. We're going to make it. Yeah, we don't have that at all.

I don't even have that person. I mean, I think you might be the only person telling me. My mom's dead. My dad's 91 and all he talks about is Led Zeppelin, which is amazing. But, you know. Yeah. When you want to know everything's going to be all right. I know.

I hang up on the phone. I'm like, my dad's amazing. But I don't know what's going on with the world. I'm still worried. And he doesn't offer any cash or anything like that anymore. And I was in a lounge in the airport in like, I don't know, Salt Lake City someplace. And it was overcrowded. It was one of those American Express lounges where anybody who's ever used the car to get in.

It's like a cafeteria. It's a cafeteria. And everybody's in there dressed like they're going on a class trip. And there was one guy He was about 6 foot tight, balding kind of tight,

short hair suit and tie on a Sunday morning and I looked at that guy like oh he's he's a grownup there's a grownup here someone's in charge

and he was probably just as dumb as everybody else just getting his little muffins and whatever but I just I craved for the grownup and I think

it might be up to us I mean I gotta say I mean look at us I'm wearing this sweater you're wearing that t-shirt which is a nice t-shirt well it's a little Italian

did go black tea I mean the collar if you were wearing a V-neck we'd have a chat but you look great and also as before we start recording. I mean, someone's been hitting the gym. I'm just going to say it. Nicole, if this becomes sexually uncomfortable, I apologize. I mean, I'm saying what she's,

I'm doing, I'm saying what she's thinking. Basically. I had a sweater that I was going to wear as I'm coming into the tunnel and I text you jeans. Which I blew, by the way. Which you didn't blow it. You were, you just got off the road. You're on your book tour. And, you're, you're like, I really got to spend some time with my lady, and I was like, you should. You don't need me getting in the middle of that. I live with that same dynamic, and you've got to have a little, just one-on-one time.

Sure. So I was like, it's going to be a no-jean-sage. So I went across the street. I got my, to celebrate my big triumphant NJ pack, I went and had a martini, I had a steak, I went across the street to the Soho cigar bar. I watched some baseball. smoked a cigar

but my one sweater they have with me is wrecked oh because it smells like yours and 10 other guys cigars yes which which part of the grown up thing was like yeah I smell like a cigar

deal with it oh yeah I that's what I think because I mean when I was a kid and my dad my parents would go out to dinner and my dad would come he didn't smoke but he would come home smelling like cigarettes and out and whatever he had to drink.

Because people smoked in restaurants. Yeah, and I was, I loved it because I was like, it's the smell of adult fun. Right. And I feel like smelling like cigars and scotch or whatever you're having. Yeah. That's a grown man living his life. It's really true.

When I get in my car, which I keep very clean, and I'll come, I'll enter. And if there's something had been in there that's leather, like a leather bag or something like that, I have the same feeling. It brings back, oh, that's grownups. That's a coffee, leather, cigar box. That's a grownup was here.

Yeah. And look how everything's in its place. So they obviously had their shit together. Oh, yeah. So anyway, I skip the, I'm upset that we didn't get to do jeans. And because I'm always trailing at the end of a weekend and then slide into the city, we haven't been able to go to jeans because of, their clothes on Mondays.

I know. They used to be open on Mondays, and, oh, it's, uh... That's the good day. But you're, you're a perfect, you know, you're a dear friend and you live in another city. So you're the perfect guy, not only the, I believe, my favorite, you're my favorite guy to go to jeans with. Maybe there's a close second out there. Whatever. Uh, but I can say, oh, Tom's in town.

You know, he's going to be leaving tomorrow. I got to run over there. I should, it would be weird if I didn't. You know, because if a friend who lives in New York is like, want to go to jeans, I can't be like, no, I can't. I'm in trouble. I can't go. I know.

I was, I felt very, I was sad that we didn't get to go because it's been a while. But I did have a nice good celebration. It was nice and mellow and, and I didn't feel that hungover, which was pretty good. I got you some treats. You did. Yeah, because of your book. Thank you. I'm going to give you an array.

I went to Vesuvio Bakery, and this is a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. Oh, my gosh. This is a lemon poppy muffin. I might have mixed them up. No, that, I don't know. Then. Yeah, that's lemon poppy. All right.

This is a plain, beautiful croissant, and this is another. plain, beautiful croissant. This is amazing. Yeah. Then as I was walking, as I was walking, there was a bagel place that was pumping the smells out on Sullivan. It was like called pop-up bagels. Oh, wow. And they were like pumping the smell.

I was like, oh, I should get bagels too. But I didn't. It's okay. So you can just eat it all of these like a squirrel. Will you eat some of this pumpkin chocolate one? 100%. 100%. And for our listeners who sometimes get annoyed when you chew on the mic,

these are all soft things. So you're not even going to know what we're up to. Is that what's that one? Is that the pumpkin one? That's pumpkin chocolate. Man, you know, you went through this pumpkin craze and everybody was like making jokes about them. They're putting pumpkin spice and everything.

Sure. And I even, like, retreated from a lot of the pumpkin stuff. And then I had a pumpkin IPA the other day. Whoa. It was amazing. Really? Amazing. And you know what? Pumpkin caught on because it's pretty great in just about everything. Popular for a reason.

Yeah. There's a right by my house, there's a coffee shop, and they have a sign out front that says not your basic pumpkin spice. But then basic is crossed out. And so I'm like, well, so it is your basic pumpkin spice. Wait. I don't understand. Or maybe now that I've said, out loud. Maybe I do understand.

No, it just says not your pumpkin spice. Not your pumpkin any way you interpret the message, it's, I feel like I'm let down. Yeah. Like they're like, get out of here. I'm going to the next place. Yeah, or they're like, it's just the average thing. Yeah.

We're just douchebags like everybody else. Yeah. How is that? The chocolate pumpkin muffin is, it's sometimes I don't like chocolate in pastries because I already feel so, you know, sinful or whatever, eating any pastry and then it has chocolate.

I'm like, well, who am I just doing whatever I want, whenever I want, but it's delicious. With no rules. Yeah. I know when we would take my daughters to the Waverly diner here in New York when they were little, and my one daughter was like pancakes and the other daughter was like chocolate chip pancakes and we used to have to have a talk with her before we ate promise you won't abuse all of us when this meal is done because you get excited you eat chocolate chip pancakes you get a sugar dump and 20 minutes you turn into the devil and you attack us all yeah can you keep your act together

and she would be like yes of course i can i never do that and then she would eat them and then just turn into a terror. A giant pancake filled with chocolate. Yeah, and then what, maple syrup on top of that. Yeah, to start your day. You got to get the healthy version with the blueberries. That's very healthy. Ooh, yeah.

That has antioxidants. Yeah, yeah. Nicole, do you want anything? Would you like a croissant? Yeah, whatever you guys don't pick, I'll take it. You can take this croissant. Yeah, the croissants have not been touched. They look beautiful.

They do. Right? I'm going to take a picture of you in the croissant. So congratulations about your book. Thank you. This is amazing. This is your 15th book? It's my 78th book.

It's my fourth book. Fourth book. You're always one ahead of me. Yeah, but I feel like you're lapping me. Like you're coming. Like I'm basically... I've got a couple more in me? I know you do.

I mean, this most recent one is, is the... best one. You think? I think so. That's nice of you to say. And that's like, that's like, you know, the other, the first two were already great. And then you're, now you're just basically dunking on yourself. That's what I think. That's very nice of you to say. But you are, amazing writer. Your voice comes through in all of your books. For better for worse. This one is different from your others in that, I mean, not going to complete departure, but you have a real affinity for Canadian people.

I do. And you have a real affinity for hockey. Yes. Which came first? The Canadian part, because my grandfather was from Canada. and so as a little kid you know in America Tom we're raised to

we're taught in our schools in our homes that America is the greatest country greatest thing that's ever happened right and but I was raised having a Canadian grandfather who always told me that Canada

was the greatest country so as a kid I was always like I signed it for you it's not the greatest Thank you. Inscription, but it's okay. But, yeah, I grew up thinking Canada was the greatest country. So then he died when I was 12, and I sort of went astray. Did you reevaluate?

Well, with the last book, Parking the Moose, I decided to explore Canada and see what all the fuss was about. Right. As far as my grandfather was concerned. Because you were just taking it on face value because it's your grandfather. Why would he lie to me? Yeah, and I had only been to, like, Toronto and Montreal before I wrote that book, and then I went everywhere. And, uh, but then hockey came shortly after. And, you know, you know, you never know what to look at me, but I'm not the most athletic type. I thought you were. I mean, I'm amazing. But I'm not into sports, really. Right. Other than, like, I used to.

But you pretend. I played hockey. Yeah, no, I played hockey. I loved, always. loved hockey, played until my sophomore year at college, and then I just kind of lost my, uh, my spirit, I guess for your will to say no to drugs. We're getting to, well, I just like my, I remember, I went to Fordham in the Bronx, and we were playing like SUNY purchase or somebody in like, I don't know where we, we, well, probably in purchase, whatever, uh, and all my friends were at a Faith No More concert. And I was like, I would rather be at the concert than playing hockey on a Saturday night with two people in the stands. And I quit like the next Monday.

Really? Yeah, I was like, it's over. And they were really devastated, as you can imagine. Did the program survive? No, they fold it. They were like, it's over. No, they're still going strong. Are they?

I still get the alumni info. But yeah, and so with this book, I was, you know, I feel like my career I've at least had like been able to do, at least on some, sometimes in micro level. All the things I dreamt of as a kid I've done on some, not like, you know, massive. Give me the list. You know, I have comedy. I've toured the world as a comedian, toured the world as a musician, done a bit of acting. written some books I've done some artwork

usually for myself but you know my album covers and book covers and stuff so I've kind of to at least dip my toes in in ways that I always wanted to as a kid and then but with hockey like I think

12 or 13 I was like it's over Dave it's not you know you can keep playing sure yeah but it's over like i knew i wasn't going to make the n-h-l right at about that age when you first strapped on the skates you were like of course it's happening yeah yeah i was yeah i was like how am i going to tell my parents i'm not going to finish high school right because i'm in uh so so with this book i was like i need to do a deep dive into this into the sport. Right.

And, you know, hopefully get some access that I wouldn't have, you know, without, you know, a publisher and all that. You know, I wanted to kind of see the game a bit beyond, like, just buying a ticket or watching on TV and things like that. And beyond Canada. Beyond Canada. I went, the furthest place I went was Kenya. Kenya. Not the biggest hockey country. Where you go?

How did that even come up? This is true. I know this sounds like I'm kidding. But I'm, well, this part sounds believable. I collect hockey jerseys. Uh-huh. And, which is sad because I do believe hockey jerseys are the lowest form of human dress. In fact, I posted a photo of me on Instagram during the pandemic in a hockey jersey and you texted me like, concerned.

Like, hey, you're doing it. okay over there. And because, you know, because I do agree, like, I wear them around my apartment and I wear them to the dog run. And then my general is you can't wear them anywhere else. Like, I had one on earlier today. And I was like, I'm not going to see Tom Papa in a hockey jersey. I respect him.

So. Did you wear him when you did interviews for the book in Canada? Yes. I mean, I did an interview. Yeah. I've been because well thanks to the pandemic well and I mean no thanks to the pandemic now you can do television from on Zoom and so whenever I do those I wear a hockey jersey in my home but when I you know when I leave the house yeah like I just did a press tour of Canada I wore grown up man close right yeah but um so for it's not going to stop there you're going to go do the interview and then be walking on the street and no one's going to know you just came from an interview they're just going to to see a guy in a hockey chair. Yeah, they're going to be, and you don't want to be like, like, uh, Adam Sandler, who, who just like aggressively is like, I don't care.

Yeah. Like, I just look like I was released from jail and given someone else's clothes. But his brilliant stroke was that he's the only guy that gets to do it. I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but it's like he won't even buy the clothes in, like, they're not even his size. They're like two sizes too big. They literally, look like they're not his clothes. Like he got just pushed out of a cargo van and get out of here.

But, um, no, to Kenya, I, there's so, I was on the internet. Mm. Late at night.

Late at night. And, uh, I was looking for, I searched like coolest non-NHL jerseys because I think the NHL jerseys are the most boring. Uh-huh. Because they,

you know, they're trying to have broad appeal so they don't incorporate like, blood and stuff. Right. And so this list came up and on it was Kenya Ice Lines. and I genuinely, momentarily thought Kenya must be like some small town in Ontario. I've never heard of. And then I read and it's like, oh, it's the, it's the arguably more popular Kenya.

And so I contacted these guys and I was like, I want to come there and play with you. And they were like, okay. So I went over there, flew over there. Just fly to Kenya. Just flew with Kenya. So who did you talk to there? They actually have like a league? It's one team.

They're more of a club. They play each other. And, and, and, and then, they have ice, but the rink was closed when I went. And they weren't, they ended up opening two weeks after I went. Wow. So my plan was to go, you know, because I've been playing my whole life. And even though I'm like 30 years older than some of these kids on the team, you know, They're like late teens, 20s.

And so I was like, I'm just going to smack these kids around, teach them a hard lesson about the game. No, you know, but I did assume I was going to be, because they just started playing a few years ago. So I'm like, I'll be bad at these guys. But so they're like, oh, we're playing roller hockey right now. So I have rollerblades that I never use. So I'm like, oh, I'll just go over and kick your ass on rollerblades, I guess. I was really missing. I'd never played roller hockey.

I'd rollerbladed. Uh-huh. But they beat up on me pretty badly. It was really sad. And it was in like downtown Nairobi, this park, there's actually a parking lot, but like they, it's for skating on Sundays. So people skating.

And then there's people like hundreds of people just watching. Whoa. So hundreds of people just watched me get my ass kicked for hours. You would think like, With hockey, if you're going to play, pick up hockey, whatever, yeah. It'd be like two hours probably, tops. Yeah.

And they kept playing, it kept going. And finally, like at hour three, I was like, so, uh, this is a man, I'm having so much fun. Uh, how long do you guys play? And they're like, uh, we usually play till we can't see the ball anymore. So we played for five hours. Oh, my God. Five hours. And I probably told you this, but.

in Nairobi, or probably maybe all of Kenya, when you go out, when you order a beer at a bar, they bring you two every time, unless you beg them to bring you one. Right. Which I love at first, you're like, oh, cool. I know I'm going to have more than one. But every time you order them, they're like two, two.

So if you go out for, you know, you're drinking double, basically. You stop, but they're like, let's stop off for one. And I was going out with these kids, these youngsters. The whole time I was there, and they drink a lot more than I do because their whole life's ahead of them. And I was so hung over and played roller hockey for five hours. How many times? Just one. One day.

They played once a week until their rink was opening. But it was five hours. Now, why did they discover, how did they discover hockey? They, this guy, Ali Kalanga, my dear friend now, he is, he's sort of the elder. statesman of the team because he's in his 40s. So he's way older than everyone else. But he told me

he was reading the source magazine, the hip-hop magazine like years ago and he saw a photo of hockey and he was like, what is that? Like he had no idea. And then he said he later saw video of it somehow and he didn't understand

how they were moving on the ice because it was like, they don't have skating in Kenya. It gets it by the equator. Yeah, he's like, this is insane. What is going on, you know? And meanwhile, there's one rink in the Panari Hotel in Nairobi, and he was working at the hotel.

And there were Canadian expats playing hockey. So he's like, oh, my God, this is it. So it grew out of that. And that's how the Kenya ice lines started in, like, 2016. Ice lines or lions? Lions. Lions. My Cleveland accent is.

Lions. That's amazing. Yeah, and they're great. They're so good. What is the through line? What's the common joy of people playing hockey and being fans of hockey? I think, I mean, it's just, I mean, it's right, not to harp on the title, but it's awesome. I think it's just this. The awesome game. There's really no, I mean, you could say soccer's kind of similar. lacrosse maybe

but it's like you're skating you have to learn a whole new mode of transport it's this gladiator but also like ballet on ice it's insane and just I love the sounds of it like just the skates

cutting into the ice like yeah and the sticking the puck puck hitting the boards and bodies and yeah all of that like I'll put on any game even if I am doing the dishes or whatever and it's just I just it's like the symphony it's like like how some people, yeah, put on like Shark Week and leave it on. I leave a hockey game on.

I just really love it. Yeah. And I think there's, you know, probably, you know, some nostalgia aspect of it, like, connecting with my youth when I had no, no troubles. No, that's definitely true. I mean, there's definitely, you know, I tour in Canada a lot and I was a Ranger fan for a long time here in New York and loved it. And then I kind of fell away from when they just after they won the Stanley Cup and they were just horrible for two decades. It was hard to stick in. And I was in LA and it was like, so I kind of just fell out. And when I would circle back and like be with my friends in Canada and start to talk about hockey, it's kind of like, uh, it's just in their blood.

It's just, it's so much deeper than my in and out kind of enjoyment of it. Like, it's kind of like when I've been baking hala. Sure. I've been learning to bake hala. And I can make a nice hala. But my Jewish friends who grew up with it and whose grandmothers were making it,

it's a different, there's so much depth there. Yeah, yeah. It's like I'll never be able to. capture that. I mean, I can imitate it, but I can't, I will not have the visceral depth because I didn't grow up with it. And the people that grow up with this game, it's deep. Yeah, for sure. You know, it's a, you know, it's a weird thing is, you know, in America, like, you know, football is the number one sport. Like, so that's their football. So, like, being, you know,

in the arts. And, well, you played football. And, uh, but I, I played, like, one, you know, year. And then I learned how to play stairway to heaven. And I was like, oh, I don't ever have to pretend to like something ever again. Truly, that was my breakthrough. I was like learning how to play Led Zeppelin at like 13. I was like, oh, I never have to fake liking anything to fit in. I'm, into the guitar in hockey. I don't care what anyone else is into. Anyway, but like, so, but like, you know, being an artist for you know in the broad sense of the word i hockey was always like this or football in america was this thing like as i was like oh that's everyone else's thing i'm not into i don't even like to hear it like literally the sound of it on television oppresses me like because i'm like i got to

go to school tomorrow everyone's telling me to shut up because they want to watch the game stop talking david that sort of thing but especially in cleveland Yeah, I mean, gosh, the Browns, and the Browns are going to lose, and everyone wants to fight. But in Canada, most of my Canadian friends are comedians or musicians, so they were like, I was the one kid who didn't play hockey. It's sort of like, it's like the weird flip side of it. Yeah.

So now they're like, why are you this jock, Dave? You know, why are you doing this to us? Sport is amazing. I have a nephew who's so anti-sport. And you watch any game, any sport, when it's on the line and the human spirits involved, the drama is so intense. It's so great. And I understand there's like you can grow up and be anti-joc mentality and there's a lot of nastiness around whatever, like the personality sometimes. And yes, it's commercial. But at its heart, watching people achieve these things, it's the greatest thing. Yeah, absolutely. It's why it's filling up arenas each of these sports. Yeah, but I think that's why a lot of people reject sports is because of that. Because it has this, I mean, not to get too much into it, but even with this book,

I found, like, people that certain outlets, without naming names, who were fully on board with the first three books are like, we don't really want to deal with this one. And I think it's like this deep-seated, like, oh, he wrote a jock book. But I'm like, no, it's the opposite. I've written this for hockey fans, but I've written it for,

I think I've written it for people that just like incredible literature. Well, that's all kidding aside. You have your very distinct, very funny voice. Thank you. And you could write about, any subject and it's going to be, you're not doing it because it's hockey or growing up or it's you. You're signing up for Dave Hill and now what's he talking about?

Yeah, that's how I mean, you know, if I may be so bold as to agree with you. But there is, I mean, there is, yeah, hockey is in there, but there's not like a lot of stats or things, you know, there's not like a lot of, but, you know, there's things like in Kenya. I saw a baboon steal a loaf of bread from a bunch of school children. And that's like a big part of that Kenya chapter. And it was truly the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. I went to the Nairobi National Park. And it was my last day in Kenya.

I was flying home that night. And so I go there. I went to this animal sanctuary. I touched a lion. Wow. Yeah, through a fence. But still. How'd he take it?

She was in heat, so she was rubbing up on everything, and this guy was like, here, you pet her. So I did, and that was fun. And then so there's a coffee shop there, and I get a coffee, and there's, like, these school children, like six years old they look about, and they're wearing these adorable matching uniforms with little hats, baseball hats,

and, like, little ties. And there's 50 or 100 of them on this little hillside next to the coffee shop in the parking lot. and their teachers have these like big wolfs, you know, like wonder, the one, whatever, Wonderbread looking stuff. And they're making sandwiches. And I'm like, oh, this is adorable. And then across the parking lot, I see this baboon start walking.

And like my, you know, I'm sure like you, my baboon access has been limited. I've only seen. Not a lot of interaction. So I've seen them on TV, maybe seen them at the zoo, but I don't know what they get up to. So Nicole size? Yeah, I didn't want to say it, but I'd say a baboon roughly Nicole's size is picking up pace. So I'm like, what's this guy going to do? I'm the only, like, grown man in the area.

So I'm like, I'm like, this could be about to become the craziest day of my life. I might have to fight a baboon to save these children. Was there a part of you that thought, oh, maybe the baboon comes around all the time? I don't understand. It all happened so. I was just felt like spring to action. You know, I'm a man of action. You know that.

So my first reaction, I'm a protector. Kata-a-te. Yeah, so I'm like, all right, set the cappuccino down, set the muffin down, get ready. Yeah, get ready to fight a baboon. So I'm sort of like, like, okay, I might have to jump in here. And then the thing starts going faster and faster. And that's where I'm like, now I have to run and tackle this baboon. And then he just snatches this loaf of bread.

and then starts walking away and like he's the kids start screaming they're not scared they're just like oh my god this is amazing and i start screaming and laughing like because i'm i'm then like so relieved and like this is amazing and then the baboon this is i mean i i i've always believed in evolution but if anyone who doesn't to witness this first he's like oh my god am i getting away with it he's like kind of looking like am i getting away with this and then he gets like a little further away and he's like I think I'm getting away like he's like looking back and kind of looking at them and shaking his head around

and he's like you can see he's like yeah I'm getting away with this gets like 10 more paces and he's just like that's right mofos I stole your breath like he's like taunting them and then he starts running away and then I look at the other end of the parking lot there's three baboons waiting

and they're like yeah you did it yeah you did it and then so he starts running towards them and then he gets right up to them and then he blows right past them they all turn around like what I thought we were having bread

and I was just like there goes that Babbon could be president of the United States it was amazing it was just such like a range of emotions and like confidence and just it was just

truly one of the greatest things I've ever seen I ran into a baboon, a whole bunch of baboons in Africa. We were in the little safari car. Oh, wow. It's in the wild. And they saw the little safari vehicle come by. And they were like, they were, you know, several hundred feet away. They were good distance.

And my daughter was hanging off the back. And there was like a leader baboon that like came out in the front. And it was kind of like puffed its chest up. Like, what are you doing? And my daughter puffed her chest up and was like, what are you doing? Really? And they started communicating with each other across the plane. And it was so funny because my daughter would be like,

like that. And then he would imitate it. Like, what do you think I could do it better than you and start bobbing her head? And then it would start bobbing her head. And raising her arms and he'd raise his arms. It was amazing. That's awesome. Yeah.

And what's really weird about it? He was holding a loaf of bread. What country did you go to in Africa? Tanzania. Oh. Or as some... Or as the... I think the proper way to say it is Tanzania.

Yeah, that's what my friend Ali Kalanga in Kenya calls it Tanzania. Tanzania. Which sounds like lasagna. Yeah. yeah i want to i mean i just went to nirobi and i got did you get all the shots

yeah i got several shots i got so many shots oh really i i hadn't been in the doctor in like 15 years probably right for like a proper checkup and i went and they did everything and uh

i mean they did every test every like they made me check for all all the diseases and right i got all these shots first of all just very quickly they they tested for every STD you know I was like oh you don't have to do that they're like well you're here

we're just going to do it I come back you know a week later or whatever and they guy whatever the guy who's not the doctor the next understudy guy resident assistant doctor yeah he's looking and he's going yeah so he tested you for

he would just go down the disease and there'd be these long pauses and he ends on HIV. He's like, and we did HIV. And that is... And I wasn't thinking I had HIV, and I realized there are... Treatments have are amazing now, but I was

just sitting there. Yeah, like, for like 30 seconds, I was like, oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. And then he's like, yeah, so that's negative two. And I was just like, you have the worst better... Anyway, So, but I got all the shots

and I went there and then I mostly just was, I'm like, I got all these shots so I could drink in bars. Like I did go one day, but I wasn't like standing in like still water. Yeah. On the, on the safari or anything. Did you take malaria pills? I did. I eventually was like, I don't care. Bring it on.

I think malaria pills. I don't know, yeah. Yeah, but they gave us all crazy dreams. Oh. These very high-deaf, very trippy, very present dreams. Oh, I don't remember that. We would get up in the morning and all, like, meet for breakfast and be like, what did you dream? It was intense.

Not, I think my wife's, bother my wife's stomach, actually, and she bailed on them. Yeah, I think maybe that, yeah, because I didn't finish them, but I did, I do remember I had to go to the pharmacy, and they, like, had to go in the, back, you know, and get a ladder. It's not that many people walking in for malaria pills. Dave, do you wish you could go to Willy Wonka's candy factory? Oh my gosh. I was going to say it's not going to get better than Nuts.com, but here we are. Nuts.com.

In addition to its amazing selection of nuts, they have tons of classic candies like butterscotch, fudge, and licorice. It's really is a fun site And my wife literally We got to order from nuts.com So we ordered all of this range of stuff Some treats, some gummy bears Some a lot of nuts

I always snack out nuts Now did you go to nuts.com Slash Papa? Because if you want to get a great discount You did They send them for free? I wasn't aware of the promo Oh, I'm sorry

I didn't mean to step on No, you're right Now that I'm thinking about it I think I paid full freight Yeah, you got to to go to nuts.com slash papa. Damn it. Whatever.

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I intend to. Wait, specially flowers used for baking? Yeah, for baking. Like when you go to the grocery store and there's a packet of edible flowers, you ever see that? No. Not F-L-O-W-E-R. Oh, F-L-O-U-R.

With the U. Okay, I misunderstood. Yeah. Okay. Those edible flowers, I don't really trust. No. Someone, all it's going to take is one, some lady in Connecticut is going to keel over.

Yeah. And that's the end of it for all of us. Or worse. Have a rash and she can't go out. Right now, nuts.com is offering new customers a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more at nuts.com. Papa. So go check out all the delicious options at nuts.com slash Papa. And you'll get what I didn't get. A free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more. That's nuts.com slash Papa. I feel like nuts.com should probably send me some more free stuff. I mean, I didn't want to say it.

Because I love them. They love me. How are you going to express that? It only stands to reason. Wouldn't surprise me if they threw in a... Little summon for your friend Dave Hill while they were at it. I don't know if they shipped to the West Village. We just bring it on the plane. Oh. And then hand it off to me at jeans. Like, I got you someone.

Don't open it now. And then I'll now say, are there specialty flowers in here? And you're like, because I don't see any tulips or anything. Yeah. I'm a rube. One of the things I wanted to mention, is your dedication page. Sure.

Oh, I use this, you're not on it. Tell what this is about? Well, just so our listeners know, there are some pretty, pretty important people that wrote blurbs for your book. And I was kind of excited because I was going to see the blurb that I wrote for your book.

This is awkward. And you gave me the book and I don't see my name. It's on the inside flap. That's the best. I mean, once you've, you know, when you get to the point where you're writing a fourth book, Tom, you'll know this. In the publishing game, the most prominent blurb placement is on the front inside flap. And all the other blurbs follow from that, even the one on the cover. Well, I think in all things in life, inside flap is probably somewhat important and probably rewarding.

Got to protect the inside flap. But there's a lot of people that never get to the inside flap. Yeah. It's really about the cover. Yeah. There is nothing better than a new book. from Dave Hill. Dave is funnier than the rest and makes, I'm reading slowly because it's hard to read because it's white on. Yeah, no, I'm with you on that. And makes us look at the world with new eyes,

with Dave Hill eyes that are now looking at hockey and crushing everyone in his path in a good way. Tom Papa, author of We're All in This Together, So Make Some Room. that's on the inside flap. Scott Russell from CBC Sports is on the cover. Dave Hill's humorous journey reveals that hockey is anything but a joke. He understands that the game is a great connector,

and for us diehard fans, that's good for the soul. Hilarious. You know, I don't want to say anything, but I sent a nasty email to my publisher about this. And when the paperback version comes out, I think you're very pleased. I've been in a similar situation. I once had the great Steven Soderberg write a blurb for me.

And it wasn't late. And I sent it to my editor, and they did not get it on the cover. That's awkward. That was really upsetting. Because that was a big ass. Like you asking me is like, yeah, of course I'm going to do it. Yeah, I also need to. I don't think you even answer.

Where's my blurb? Yeah. I was like, you didn't even say what I'm writing it for. But Soderberg, you know, he's an Oscar winning director. It's an ask. Yeah. And then it doesn't appear on the book. What were they?

Very upsetting. It took me three years to get back into that relationship. Why did, what, did they have an explanation? Nope. They're like, oh, lost track of those emails. You know book people. Yep. They're different.

But that's the blurbs. I didn't even want to bring it up, but you did. I was talking about the dedication page. First dedication that you have in your book, The Awesome Game, One Man's Incredible Globe-crushing Hockey Odyssey. Yep. For my dad, Bob Hill Sr., sorry about the garage door. Is that because you used to hit it with hockey pucks?

Yes. That's the reference. When I still thought I had a shot at the NHL, I made a goal out of two-by-fours and some netting. And I would shoot, I'd set her from front of the garage. And then sometimes when I was starting to launch them into the air, I would miss sometimes. And I broke all the windows.

and my dad replaced all of them at first with plexiglass and then when I broke all that he was like, we're done and he just boarded them up completely and I never got in trouble. He was just, I think he was just like

he's not hanging out with street tuffs and this is productive. So he never scolded me or anything And then once I, when I finally moved out of the house at 34, no, he, no, he, they one day replaced when he knew I wasn't going to do that it was safe. He got in a garage doors. Nice. You also dedicated to, in the memory of Barb Cato. Yep.

We miss you every day and watching the Lawrence Welk show just isn't the same without you. and that's your that's my girlfriend's mother girlfriend's mother your facto mother-in-law yeah she died about a year ago and but during the pandemic

we you know we went we went back to visit her for what we thought would be two weeks and then realize we should probably just hang out there yeah protect her protect her from all sorts of things

but we would watch the Lawrence Welk show every Saturday night on public television and it was, I have to say, I mean, there's me, my girlfriend, her mom, and our dog Lucy

and, you know, by 7 o'clock on a Saturday, I'm half in the bag, let's be honest. We were communicating during that. Yes. We were very in tune because it was martini time. Yes, you were kind enough to send me because like a

like a goddamn animal, I was making martinis with orange juice glasses as shakers. And you, we got very upset. A few days, you were just like, what's your address? Without explanation, I gave you the secret address in Ohio. And, yeah, a martini of shaker kit showed up, which I still used to this day. But we would, yeah, we would watch Lawrence Welk. And it was just so, so enjoyable. It's the best.

I've seen it, I mean, I've seen it my whole life, but just it was just, we all loved it in it. And there were times actually when they would preempt it with, they were just like, oh, we're going to show something else. And I would call the station and be like, what are you doing? What are you doing? This is Lawrence Welk time. Yeah. It is the, it's, there's something so intoxicating about watching that show at every stage of my life. And it's always like on a Saturday.

So it was like when I was getting ready for a show or getting ready to go out or. Well, it's like Saturday at 7 o'clock. I've thought that ever since I was a little kid, it's the best time of the week is Saturday at 7 because it's the one. It's more than any other time I feel like Saturday at 7 is the time when nothing matters. Nothing needs to get done. Right. It's just good times. and you sit down in front of Lauren Swelk.

And I loved like the outfits are amazing. And the sets. The hair. And everyone regardless, some of them are like 22. Everyone looks 50. Regardless of their age. You're like, I don't know. They look 50 to me.

They all look like they also have secrets. They're so upfront, shoulders back, lessens, level of polished, joy. Yeah. And they're all like those pressed on smiles and some seem genuine

and some seem like they're just out there with their hairpiece pretending to be happy. Yeah. And you get the feeling like what goes on behind closed doors

with this dude. Oh yeah. And I have to think, can I swear on this? You sure can. I, that Lawrence Welk show had to be a major fuckfest. Don't you think?

I'm not saying Lawrence well, got involved maybe but I mean there's just so many a lot of uh of uh adultery oh my gosh forget it

a hundred percent that's what's so great about it you just know like and but you then you see yeah there's there's a lot of secrets and then I'm sure you've seen there are the uh recap shows that they would do like looking back remember it would be hosted by a couple of them and they're like

remember back in the 30 years ago and the recording of that was like 1980 yeah yeah they this is this is what we had i was going to say like they would check in and there'd be like someone from the show and they would have these weird interviews where they'd be like now how's your daughter bonnie we all know she lost a leg uh it was just like weird medical details yeah like sprinkled in there and just like don your husband donnie lost his job right and and uh they found them on the garage. Yes, but the Lord is, the Lord is blessing us.

Yeah, there always be some curveball in the interview. It was really, oh, so fascinating. And I think he, I think he came out of Milwaukee. I think so. He's a fascinating guy because he grew up in, like, a German community and his whole life in America

didn't speak English. Wow. until he was like 21. Wow. Which is why he talked like that. Yeah. Hungarian? I think, oh, now I got to check on this.

Yeah. I thought he was German, but I don't know. Yeah. So great. So great. Well, rest in peace. Yes. Barb.

Thank you. It's nice that you put her in the book. Yeah. So other than Kenya, what was your favorite hockey destination? Finland was. amazing just because I'd never been to Finland and I'd always want to go and so I went that was another jersey thing I mean I I was going to go to part of the reason I chose Finland aside from just wanting to go there was one of the most amazing jerseys I've ever seen is the tempera ilvis the city like

hour and a half north of Helsinki and ilvesse is means links and finish and it's this crazy links they have on their jersey that looks like it was drawn by a child in the best possible way it just is like doesn't have it's not like a slick like sports logo it just looks like insane and so I tried to order it online but everything no matter you could order a keychain from the team site and shipping would be $75 no matter what you ordered right so I was like I'm not paying $75 to ship this jersey I'm just going to go there. So I went and I ended up, I booked a couple shows.

I did a couple shows while I was there. And then I went to three games. Wow. Three different pro games. Got the jersey. Is there level, like, NHL level? It's, I mean, it's right. There's tons of, yeah.

I mean, it's like maybe a notch down. But I think it's probably like second or third top league in the world in terms. In terms, you know, but like neck and neck, you know, the NHL, the KHL, the Russian League that had until recently, one finished team, I think one, a couple non-Russian, but everyone bailed on the league for obvious reasons. Right, because they're acting up. And then, yeah, the Finnish league, the Liga. What's Finland like? Amazing. It's kind of, it's similar to, you know, Scandinavian countries.

Everyone's tall and beautiful. Right. I was there with my buddy Dan and we were having coffee and, you know, we're just talking about all manner of things. And we were talking about the subject of infidelity and, or, you know, friends of ours who have weird relationship rules. And I was sitting there saying, you know, like, nope. Not for me. I don't want any trouble. I just am happy in my relationship.

I'm monogamous. Wouldn't mess around. And then these just ridiculous finish women walk by. And I was just like, in a second. I'll do it right away. No. But everyone, yeah, everyone's just weirdly. Everyone's real, like the men are all six, four.

Right. I felt, I mean, I'm reasonably tall. I didn't feel very tall there. Right. My buddy Dan is short for America even. And he looked like a tiny, a little boy when he was there. But it's great. It's great.

That's nice. What time of year were you there? October, which was not the best time. Because I think it's just kind of gray and rainy. Like even this comedian, Harry Sonia, who was kind enough to put a couple of shows together for me. He was like, you know, summer's beautiful. winter's idyllic and you're kind of coming in the blow your brains out just overcast how do the comedy go over there kind of about as well as it does here you know

hit or miss 50 50 yeah so you know about half half really on board and the other people like i don't know um no it went well it was like they tend to like uh jokes which as you well know I don't really traffic in. So, no, they went, the shows, well, they were really fun. What were the venues, like, really, like, bars? Yeah, they were pretty small. There was, like, one that was, like, on a boat. Uh-huh.

Like, a boat, like, permanently docked boat, you know, a little venue there. Right. And then I did another place in Tempara called Secret Society, which was a pizza place, slash music comedy venue. Wow. And that was pretty awesome. That's pretty great. Yeah, so I had a great time.

And in that place, I went there twice. I went there to do a show, and I came back a couple days later to see a game. And then I got an Airbnb in the city, and then I like going back to hotels, but Airbnb, like, to walk into one alone at night is just sad. Yeah. So I was like, I'm just going to go out. and I walked into some bar. I was like, I'm just going to people watch. And I walked into the perfect bar.

They had hockey jerseys hanging everywhere, and they're playing heavy metal. Nice. I walked into the right spot for me. And then this, like, first of all, like any place where there's like a table of people out at 1130 on a Tuesday, bad news. So they're like, come, join us, join us.

And then these two guys were like, do you want to go to an after party? Which normally, I'd be like, no. Yeah. after party, but I was like, well, you know, when you're writing a book, you want great things to happen or horrible things to happen. So I was like, this sounds like a really bad idea. Sure, I'll go. after party on a Tuesday on a Tuesday so I leave this bar

with these two guys and I don't know I think they're probably gonna do something weird with me or something but I was like I don't know I'll see where this goes

yeah and then they kind of stopped on the street and we're like what's going on they're like oh we're trying to get a hold to the guy having the party

and they're like oh we can't get a hold and I'm like oh we're just going to go down to this other place uh oh and I was like I'm out

and I ran away yeah This is getting weird. Yeah, because I was like, oh, I don't think I want this chapter in the book. Well, I just write about something going on in Cleveland. Yeah. Do you watch NHL? I do, yeah.

I mean, the season team. Just the Rangers, because they play up the street. But I'm more a lover of the game, as they say. I know it's a bit of a cop-out, but I'm a Rangers fan. and then when they are done, I just move on to another team I like. Andy Fiore, who is a comedian, who is the... Love Andy. ...producer of Come to Papa, Sirius X-M.

He is a huge hockey head. He played as a kid and loves the Rangers. And I said to him the other night, because he opened for me at the NJPack. I said, you know, Dave Hill is a, plays hockey. And because he was talking about, like, maybe trying to play as an adult in New York and how expensive it is and he's going through all the stuff. And I said, you know, Dave is also, Dave also plays hockey. And I think his exact words were I would bust him up. All right.

Well, bring it on, Pat. I'm like, he's been playing a long time. He's like, dude, dude. Dude. All right. All right. This, I'm ready. Bring it on.

I mean, there's video. I made, as with all of my books, I write a song and make a music video. Nice. Really take it to the next, as all authors should. Where can we see that? You can, on YouTube or on my Instagram page, or, you know, search on YouTube, Dave Hill, The Awesome Game.

And you can see, I'm rusty, but I'm hitting, you know, one, two, three, four, five holes. Nice. Hockey lingo. It's hockey lingo. Just slap shots, snapshots, wrist shots. Got them all back in. I had a hockey dream last night.

Really? Probably because I was thinking about our interview. Yeah. But it's not a lot to it, but there was hockey happening. I came out on the ice. And they were like, what are you doing here? And I just right in front of the net, just kind of slid it right into the goal.

Oh, nice. Because they were distracted by my ineptitude. Yeah. And they were like, dude, does that count? And they were like, yeah, it counts. You know, there's an article, I forget where I was in, but there's like a celebrity charity match in Russia. I found this out because Slava Fetisov from the Soviet Union team

with Miracle on Ice and all that. I talked to him for the book. he's in there. And reading up on him, he had been playing in this match in Russia, where he lives, he's from there, obviously. And Putin started playing hockey at like 55. Uh-huh.

And understandably, they let him, if he gets the puck, they're like, oh, my gosh, we can't possibly defend. And they're like, he scores five or six goals every game and acts as if, like, no one's, letting him score that like it's like yes I'm amazing but um

at 55 and he's you know this tiny man just stumbling around scoring I've seen video on Slava Fetisov and the other players but um you know I but you know and when I talk to Slava it was before the invasion

of Ukraine Ukraine so uh keeping the book Evergreen I didn't really get into it The book is the awesome game. One Man's Incredible globe-crushing Hockey Odyssey. Dave Hill. If you get the book, you can get the audiobook.

I'm sure you do the audio. Yeah, the audio is, the audiobook is somehow not on the Amazon page yet, but it exists and it's coming out. It's out everywhere in the world already. The book came out everywhere, but the United States... I delayed the book in the United States by a week just to just to... give America a chance. Let's monitor possible side effects

of the book and then give it to America. So it's been out a week everywhere else. Excellent. I don't know how to direct the people with the audio book, but if you get the physical book, which I recommend, I always recommend physical books, go to the inside flap and you'll see my blurb. It's amazing.

Can I say in closing? Are we closing? Yeah. Okay. I want my now with the book out, I really want to play the national anthem on guitar, preferably while on skates before an NHL game. I'll accept minor league.

If anyone's listening, it can help me make this happen. Okay. This is my new goal in life. New goal. It could be minor league? Could be. I mean, just like players themselves, I'm happy to work my way up through the minors.

Okay. All right, well, we'll put that out there. We'll make that dream come true. Yeah, we put it into the universe. That's what we do at Breaking Bread. Yeah. Make dreams come true. My dream has already come true.

Just being here with one of my best friends, talking and eating pastries, which is... It's pretty good. Everything in life is what happens in between what we're doing right now, talking and eating food. Right, exactly. Go to Dave Hill for all the stuff.

You'll find them everywhere. Go to tompapa.com. I've got a bunch of shows coming up. in Cedar Falls, and we're going to Phoenix. We're going to 1,000 Oaks, a whole bunch of stuff. Everything's there. You guys are the best. We'll see you next time.