Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 191 - Kyle Kinane

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Kyle Kinane On Leaving LA for the Oregon Woods and His Recent Return.   Today’s guest is Kyle Kinane, who has a brand new special coming out soon called "Dirt Nap." But first, Tom recounts to Kira his recent travel experiences with Joey and Paul Morrissey, including the challenges of navigating bad weather and flight changes. Tom and Kira interview Kyle Kinane about his life, career, and his latest special, "Dirt Nap." Kinane shares insights into his creative process, personal anecdotes, and his unique perspective on standup. He also talks about his dietary choices and lifestyle, providing a glimpse into his daily routine and philosophies. The conversation further delves into Kinane's approach to dealing with life's irritations and challenges, highlighting his ability to find humor in everyday situations, but struggles most when it comes to home renovations and road rage. About Tom: Tom Papa, a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry, has made significant strides in film, television, radio, podcasts, and live performances. Notably, he's a regular on "The Joe Rogan Experience" and various late-night TV shows. Papa's literary skills are evident in his books “We’re All In This Together” and "You’re Doing Great!: And Other Reasons To Stay Alive," a collection of essays, and "Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas," a comedic look at family life. His latest stand-up specials are “Tom Papa: What A Day!” and "Tom Papa: You’re Doing Great!" on Netflix. Beyond comedy, Papa's engagements extend to hosting "What A Joke With Papa And Fortune" on SiriusXM and appearing on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me." His love for baking led to hosting the Food Network series "Baked." As an actor, he's worked with notable figures like Rob Zombie and Steven Soderbergh and has appeared in several films and TV shows, including the HBO film "Behind the Candelabra." Additionally, Papa has contributed as a writer to projects like "Bee Movie" and various TV series. Residing in Los Angeles with his family, Papa continues to balance his professional life with personal interests like baking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, hey, everybody. Welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Pop. I'm here with my pal Kira Soltonovich. We have a good show today. Very good. We have Kyle Canane, the great comedian, Kyle Canane, is coming on the program. He has a new special called DirtNap. That is coming out. On the YouTube's, just one of the funniest comedians. He's so great. I'm very excited to sit down with them today. It's going to be a lot of fun. Before we start, though, I have to tell you a story, a quick little story,

and then you tell me how I should feel about it. Okay. Okay. All right. So, Kyle's the greatest. It's going to be a great interview. It says nothing to do with Kyle. I don't want you to think, like, anticipating this has something to do with Kyle Canaan.

No, that's just pure joy and comedy love. But another person who we work with pretty often is Joey, also known as 4 ounce. Yeah. And he's not here today because we were in Lexington, Kentucky, and doing a show. He came with me on the road this weekend. And we did Charlotte, North Carolina. Then we went to Nashville. Then we went to Lexington, Kentucky.

He did a great job. He comes on the road. He does tour managery stuff. He deals with all the books and stuff and helps with the merch. And we show him the world. It seems to be a big part of it. And he was great. He came with Paul Morrissey.

Yep. Very funny. And we're leaving Lexington, Kentucky. For some reason, Nashville was 10 degrees. when we were there. Lexington was 15 degrees. And as we're going to the show, snow starts falling. And all the whole time, Paul's on his phone trying to get flights. And he's like, I'm supposed to go to Dallas, but they're saying it might sleep in Dallas. And if they don't want, if it does, they cancel everything because they have no de-isers and they don't know how to deal with that kind of weather.

So the whole time we're keeping track of the weather, it's this whole thing all weekend long. So it comes down to today this morning when we are leaving Lexington, Kentucky, and who's in the hallway after he said he was going to fly to Dallas the night before? Paul, he got an alert at 2.30 in the morning saying your flight has been canceled. And he got rebooked onto my flight, which was going to Chicago and connecting from Chicago. and connecting from Chicago, and this is how bad the weather is around the country, the best option was to go to Chicago,

where with the wind chill, it was minus 27 this morning. Legit, it was one or two. So we're thinking, there's a good chance. We're not going to make the interview with Kyle Canaan. There's a good chance we're going to be staying in Chicago. I mean, it's snowing here in Lexington as we speak. We get there. They're plowing the runway.

Oh my God. And then they take us over and they spray it down, you know, when you have that moment. Yeah. You know, where they're like, we got to de-ice it. And you're like, well, this is going to add half hour, right? Yeah. And then when you're in line, you're like, oh, we're fifth in line to de-ice. Right.

Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, have you built this in to the itinerary? But it's all going smoothly. And we take off. Joey is in the way back with his little wheelie bag. So all three of you are on your way to Chicago. I'm in first class.

Okay. Paul got upgraded to first class. Nice. Joey's in the last row of the plane. Poor Joey. Oh. So we take off. We land.

Everything seems like I actually texted and I know I knew I shouldn't have when I did it. I texted to the two of them from my seat. Holy cow, we did it. Oh, you jinxed it. I jinxed it because the plane did not have a gate, an open gate for us to park in. Then it started driving down, I think it's Route 70. And went for like a 20-mile drive. It's bad when you're like in the Walmart parking lot and the plane's like, we just have to drive around a little bit.

And then they think, then you think, and then it parks for 10 minutes. and then it starts up and you're like, okay, now we're moving. And it drove for another 10 minutes. And then you look out your window and you're next to a fence. It's like, what is happening? Gate wasn't ready. Switch to another gate. Now a Spirit airline is blocking the thing.

Our flight to take off was 9.55. And we landed with plenty of time, but now it is 9.55. And I feel the guy next to me. I'm getting phone calls from the airline because I have high status on American Airlines. And the guy next to me, I can tell, has it also. He's getting the call to. And the woman calls and says, okay, when you get off, this is like the third call. When you get off, we're going to have a cart.

We're going to try and get you on the 10 o'clock that hasn't boarded yet. It's like, all right. And I really wasn't that stress. I wasn't like freaking out. You know, if we don't make it, you know, we tell Kyle, we have to redo it. It's not the end of the world, you know. It's not like I had to get to a gig filled with a theater of people. That's the stress, right?

When you know that they're all waiting for you and they, for a month, this isn't an audience thing. So we can always get around and we can always re-record. But I'm still anxious. I still want to get it there. and we get off the plane. Now it's 9.58, and there's a golf cart there and a woman from Concierge Key. And she says to me and the guy I was eyeing across the aisle, he was another concierge key.

She goes, get in the cart. And Paul's two people ahead of me. He's just going, Papa, he has to get to here for a gig in Palm Springs tonight. He had to land and then drive to Palm Springs. So he's really freaking out because he has to make the gig. He has people waiting. He's just going, Papa. She goes, what?

She didn't understand who this man was who was trying to get on her cart. I'm like, he's my friend. He's my friend. She goes, we've got to go right now. Okay. We throw the luggage on the back of the cart and she starts booking it through O'Hare, honking at people, dodging families. Paul's suitcase goes flying off.

someone yells bag we have to stop i go running out i get it i throw it back on the cart and i hear the guy in the front he's in the front seat and he's like so where are we going she goes we're going to try to get you on the 10 o'clock it hasn't bored it hasn't bored it yet because what about our original like we still make that one i'm like oh he's doing everything that i would do and i'm going to let him be the dad because he's saying all the right things and i'm just going to kick back. This is all happening like during a race. Yeah. And during a car race and she's honking and she's going, all right, we could make, we try. She's on her walkie-talkie. Is the door still open? Is it still going? And here we go.

And she goes pulling in. I have two concierge keys and their friend. And the friend. I love her to yell and his opener. They were just about to shut the door. Oh, my God. We go over. We scan our boarding passes. They get us on. Paul's on.

He's going to make his gig. The guy and I end up in first class right next to each other. Just like fist bumping. Like, dude, that one's epic. That was epic. And we're just so happy. And we're just exalting. And I can't believe we're on this flight.

I was like, what hotel? I'm literally on my phone booking a flight ununited, looking for another flight. I'm just paying and hoping I can cancel. The whole shit show. Doors close. And I realize we don't have Joey. Did you do one of these, like Home Alone? I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Huh. What was it? Do you have your carry on? No. It's your hat. I bet it's your hat. I bet it's your hat. That's your hat.

You don't have your hat. No, I have my. Joey! Oh, my God. Meanwhile, you guys made that whole journey, but since he's in the back of the plane, he's still waiting to get off. I guarantee you. When we got on the plane, he said, I'm just getting off.

Oh, my God. So if we had waited, we don't get on. No, no, no, no. So he's now in North Carolina connecting to get back to L.A., and I think he'll get in at 10. clock tonight. What? Yeah.

Holy cow. So you tell me how should I feel about it? You should feel like you have concierge key for a reason. I did think that at my point. Yes. This is why. For these moments. 30 years of accumulating miles.

That's exactly it. And being Joey in the back. And one day Joey will get there. One day Joey will be driving through O'Hare. Uh-huh. And his luggage will fall off and he'll ha-haha. Because there is that thing when you travel, when you fly with friends. Yeah.

And like, especially when you land back home and you're all spread out on the plane. Right. If you have your, you know, the people you're touring with. Yes. If it's your family, you're waiting. Yes. But it's kind of, and I learned this, it's kind of when you land back home, there's no waiting to say goodbye and walk to baggage claim.

No. We're all on our own at this point. Even though we're close, even though we love each other, we're now out into the world. Yeah. Right? Once you touched out. Which is weird for me, honestly. Well, no, I think that's the appropriate thing.

Yeah. Yeah. It is appropriate, but it is a little bit weird. Like, did we say goodbye enough? Chris Porter and I ran into each other once at LAX. I've run into Chris Porter more than any comedian ever. I've seen him in Chris Porter. I mean, I've seen him in airports so many times.

So many times. First of all, he's so tall. Yes. You can see him. We're probably seeing other comedians and not seeing them. You're not seeing them because they're just kind of like within the crowds. But you see Chris Porter in his hair. It's true.

Chris Porter, he's always wearing a hat that's like so cool. Yeah. Like he's in a music video. Yeah. And we actually, we went to the first class lounge together. We hung out before our flight. like as if we were traveling together. And then you go, oh, I'm going to go use the restroom before.

And then he waited for me because we're going to the same, we were going to the same flight. Right. So in those moments, oh, that's cool because we're kind of. Yeah, teamed up. If I was sitting in the bathroom for 50, I'm not expecting him. Yeah. We're not really traveling together.

Right. Get yourself on the plane and I'll deal with this diarrhea or whatever is happening. Why am I taking so long? But it was very nice. He waited. We walked together. hanging out. I did not expect at all after the flight for us to even speak unless we... If we're touring... Well, if we're touring, yes.

I always feel like we stay together on the way. I will wait for you. Yes. To get on the plane, to go to the gate. It would be weird to leave the lounge and not wait for you. Like, if you wanted to make a quick stop for a coffee, I would join you. Or, or, you wanted to make a quick stop for a coffee, I would join you. or, you know, or unless you said I'm going to meet at the game. I've sent you ahead. I go, you go, you go, go, go, you know, I brought you something once. But you're more of a team on the way to the gigs and then coming back. Well, so I see your predicament.

I would feel bad, right? Uh-huh. But is he? I didn't, yeah. Is he considered- You feel bad because he's. Well, yeah, he's stuck in a, he wants to be home too. He wants a hot shower in his own bed too. Yeah.

Now, here's a question. This might be too personal. Is he on the clock? He is on the clock. What? That's true. I did not think about that. He's on the clock.

That's true. American Airlines just screwed me. He is going to wish and hope and pray for wind chill factors. I mean, yeah, he's fine. He's fine. And then he didn't have to get in the car and come to the podcast. He didn't have to podcast. today.

Yeah. You know? But he's still part of the podcast because he's in the story. He found a way to squeeze in. What a scammer. Four ounce. You're right. We should fire him.

Yeah. No, he's doing okay. He probably is ecstatic. Yeah. Right? All right. He gets to hang out in North Carolina. Get paid.

Another place he's never been. Well, he was in the beginning of the... Yeah. All right. I feel good about that. You feel better? I feel good. I feel better.

Good. And I'm going to feel more better when we start our interview with Kyle Canane. Did you see you special? Listen, so funny. I'm not going to give away DirtNap because it's a funny reveal. Yeah. But it was, I was like, Dirtnap. He's such a good comic.

It was so funny. Top to bottom. He's so good. Yeah, he really is great. Let's see what he has to say. Enjoy Kyle Kinnate. Let me start off by saying that I apologize because I just flew in from Lexington, Kentucky, that I did not get to bake you bread.

Oh. But I will find you and give you bread. I bake bread for every one of our guests. And it was killing me the whole flight. I was like, what else can I do? How can I do it? I apologize, but I still love you. It came out as a threat.

I will find you. Find you. And I'll make sure you have something. feed you this bread. Oh, that's, because you tape this in Los Angeles, you have a lot of people like, I'm not doing carbs right now. We get some. We get some.

One of them is Kira. Really? Yeah, the worst person you can have as a co-host on a bread show. She only eats meat right now. I'm the worst. And we could not be more opposite because I watched your special. So I want to apologize. I am, you know, your arch nemesis.

What do you mean? In what way? He does a whole vegan bit. No, I'm not. I'm not, okay, we got to correct it. I'm a vegetarian with a lot of hall passes. Okay. I quit eating meat.

It went from, it went from like a health thing, because I've done plenty of jokes about, like, having gout and everything. And then it went into some of the, you realize, like, you have black or white thinking? Like, that's, like, whatever medical condition that is where you can't see a gray area. And I'm like, well, if I'm going to eat a chicken,

may as well eat somebody's dog because they're animals or animals. and then I went that way with and I'm like, well, that's not how the world works. And also you're wearing leather shoes. I'm like, yeah, but that was already dead. So I like just using the other parts. Yeah. I have a system.

I have a hierarchy in my head of things that I allow and don't allow. I don't put it on anybody else. Uh-huh. So. Right. Yes. You're fine. Okay.

I could look at somebody, yeah. I could look at somebody eating a steak and I know it's good. I know it's delicious. Right. Yeah. Right. I'm just like, I'm just not doing that these days. But that bit of your dad.

having a veggie burger. Yeah. I mean, listen, I was at sprouts. I listened to... Maybe not the place to hear that big. I listen to specials like their podcasts, right? Yeah. Because I know what you look like.

I don't have to watch you. I just listen. I'm shopping. And I'm doing this comedy laugh that we tend to do as comics. Ah! And I'm doing it in sprouts. As I'm behind people, they think I'm being rude. Like, get out of the way.

I'm trying to get to the avocados. But I'm just, like, honking at them with my stupid comic laugh. Because we don't know how to laugh at stand-up unless it's, ah. And I'm doing that, like, consistently through that bit. Love it. Yeah. But I also felt bad. I was like, oh.

It is graphic. Yeah, other people are at sprouts. I like grocery shopping today. I'm like, yeah, I feel bad. No, I felt bad because I was like, I'm going to have to tell them that I am the complete polar opposite. Oh, yeah. But I don't care.

I like watching people have food that looks good. Right. I got you. It doesn't upset me. Yeah. I know. I'll break. I broke last December.

I watched my girlfriend will get stuff. It's 10 years. Maybe it's been my wife. But she'll get stuff. She'll have like, you want to try it? Come on. No, I don't want to try it. And then she got this one dish that had like beef brisket in.

She just goes, something else. And like had a face of like, didn't ask me to try. I'm like, this is something else. I'm like, all right, let me try it. And then I tried it. And because I don't have like a lot of impulse control, I'm like, all right, that's it. December, I'm just going to eat meat all month. Like, I went nuts.

I had barbecue and all my favorite. Because it's not like I gave up the best cuts of meat or like the finest filets. I was eating trash. Right. Like, you could still get a shitty fake whopper at Burger King that sucks just as bad as a real whopper. Cool. I'll live off that. Right.

But I went nuts all last December. Do you do that? with most things, like extremes, like I'm doing this, so then I'm just going to plow and... Yeah, I mean, well, not, I don't know why... Or quit. I just, yeah, I wanted to find myself by one or the other

that there shouldn't be this gradient, and I don't know why that's... I don't know why that is of, like, you know, I've got real bad road rage tendencies that I'm trying, definitely need to curtail being back in L.A. Yeah. But like, I'm going to sit there and have road rage

at somebody for not using a turn signal. Meanwhile, it casually always drive 20 miles over the speed limit, but I'm not impeding somebody else. You're right. Unless I crash and, you know, cause a pile-up. So, like, yeah, why am I looking at it? Like, there's the rules that are old for you.

But for me, because I know what I'm doing, it's fine, so. Now, is it difficult for you because you look like you have a smoker in your backyard? I have to turn down a lot of things on the road. I mean, I feel like, right? Yeah, I should be the most. I mean, I gave myself the nickname Uncle Barbecue when I was starting just because I was like, but go got my dogs in there and then... But you didn't have this when you started

because I remember you 20 years ago. 20 years ago, yeah, the beard came in 2007. It was pre-everybody having facial hair guys. And then before we realized, oh, this like covers up the chins, you know, before everybody kind of locked into that. Yeah. And then I just, I've just had some form of it. I'll cut it all off once in a while.

and then people just, people like to be mean on the internet. I don't even notice that. People like to be mean on the internet. What? And people, people like to tell me what they think about my real face. And it's never a nice thing. It's funny because I was on the plane watching your special.

And this guy got on and sat down. He was grumpy and he came on at the end and like sat down and was like kind of like sitting there. And he, and I'm looking at him, I'm like, insurrectionist. Yeah. This guy is, and then you start your special love talking about that I look like, I look like this thing, but I might actually, but I talk about my feelings. But he's actually very thoughtful. I'm sorry. Yeah, I think I was like I look like I use the word tyranny and casual conversation.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you're describing it and you're like, and I'm like, yeah, why am I judging this guy? Because you're exactly right. like you're smart, sensitive person, but you just wrapped up in this wrapper. And by the end of the flight,

I'm listening to this guy, sweet as pie. I would hope that those are the majority of interactions you have. Some people have good instincts, and they trust their instincts because they've proven themselves correct time and time again. I don't. I'm wrong almost 100% of time about my beliefs, and I have such a knee-jerk, quick reaction to things.

Yeah. Where I'm like, all right, whole, based on what? Based on, you know, the color of this guy's shirt. Like, what are we doing? I know. And I, then again, they're getting so riled up about stuff. Like, what's the point?

Why am I getting? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Why am I redlining over stuff? I can't do anything. Great, guys got a let's go branding t-shirt on the airport. So what? There's thousands of people on this airport right now.

Let him wear a shirt. Let him vote. What's the vote? This fucking guy over here. This guy, everybody, choose with his mind. mouth open. Watch them. I'm going to follow him into the restaurant at the airport

see if you choose with his mouth. I'm like, what are you being a psycho? You're far worse than wherever this guy is. So yeah, I don't know. I talk myself down from a lot of wild. I don't like those t-shirts, though. I don't like those t-shirts. I mean, some of them are just F Joe Biden.

They're just straight out. When you're walking with your kids somewhere. Oh, I hate that. Really, I don't care that you don't like the guy. Yeah. You just don't need that word when you're, walking with your children. Yeah, it's aggressive.

Unironically through a national park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was kind of like, hey, what do you think paid for? Taxes, guys. Yeah, I wasn't even trying to steer politically. I would just tell you with like something that was like could easily rile me up that doesn't. Yeah. Like life's short.

And I'm like, really, that's such a simple thing to say. But when you really analyze the amount of time you spend looking at your phone, getting angry about stuff that you're not. going to change at any point anytime soon. Yeah, I know. They'd be taking a walk. Yeah. You're outside.

Did you, did you mellow at all when you moved out of the L.A.? I don't know. I was never like, I was, and I'm not like a tough guy, clearly,

I'm not like I don't rage out on people. I just puff and puff and then shit talk when I get behind closed doors. So a coward. I'm a coward too, which is the tough way to also be filled with rage and also know you're going to do nothing about it, which is then the frustration comes back on me.

Like, you stop being such candy ass and tell the guy that you don't like a shirt. Well, that would just be conflict and we don't do well with that. So then I got to hate myself. But I think it's just, I think more, I think I was mellow here. I think I'm mellow in Portland. I think I'm mellow. It's the fact that I'll have to take a few hours. after one of these incidents that I might have.

Right. And like look at it, you know, third person go like, well, remember when you said this? I've got contractors at the house and I think I told one of them to drop dead. I'm like, that's not language. What? Why? That's like Charlie Brown. What happened?

Charlie Brown. Because they're contractors and they're all criminals. Yeah. Because they're lying to. Yeah. Because they're liars that you let into your house. And then they rob you at you. Right.

I'm going to do this wrong a bunch of times. Yeah. And I'm going to charge you too much for the thing I did wrong. And then disappear for months at a time. Four and a half months for a bathroom. Yeah. For a bathroom. Did they leave in the middle of, that happened to me, where they left in the middle of construction.

Yeah, after they tear everything down. And they went and took another job. Because now they got you. Right. And then they came back. And I almost lost my goddamn mind. Well, that was me yelling at the plumbers who went in and did everything. wrong and it's taking every fiber my being not to look directly into one of these cameras and

say exactly the plumber's name it's not defamation if it's 100% true that you guys are awful but i went in like they okay bathroom got torn out remodeled uh and i i always have to like put the precursor in like i know like home renovations aren't the topic du jour of anybody under the age of 30 who's just fighting to stay alive but these are my frustrations as a 47-year-old man. Yeah, yeah. As his first house ever in his whole life. But yeah, they're just like the, you know, the sink's crooked, the faucet and the shower's crooked, the toilet leaks.

I'm like, you guys, there's four people here doing this and you all looked at what each other did and said, good job. Let's go get some beers. And they came back, then they fixed, they just screwed up everything. And finally I was talking to one guy and I'm like, hey, you want to come back for the fifth time and maybe do. it right this time. Well, if you're already upset, I'm not like, yeah, I'm upset. Well, we got other jobs to do. I'm like, yeah, this is one of them.

We've got other jobs. This is one of your jobs. Unbelievable. And I'm just learning first home in my whole life. And I always, I just championed the idea of renting in stand-up. Like, it's the best. I understand

the whole landlords and inequality of wealth and you're making rich people, but also there's nothing better than someone you call a Lord that you were like, unclog my toilet. Yeah, exactly. Roll up the sleeves on that robe. Rather than every time you pick up the phone and fix something in your house, get ready to pay $5,000. Yeah.

Or do it myself, which I'm not good at, but I'm like, all right, here we go. Yeah. How much more, how much can I add to the bill by me ruining this? And if it's less than a few grand, I'm usually giving it a shot. Give it a shot. I was in the attic hooking up tubing that a vent goes to him. Like, this ain't hard. It is.

There's a lot of things that there's skill sets involved in. Some of them it's not. Is your husband handy? Very. He is. That's awesome. Very. Yeah.

But he does reach his limit. So he rewired my son's room with a fan in there. And he wanted to rewire it and put a new fan. Okay. So he put it in and he's done this a million times in our house. He did it in our bedroom. He knows what he's doing. He did it in my daughters.

But, like, he knows. But for some reason, the electricity in our son's room is so jacked that the lights turn on spontaneously at 2 o'clock in the morning, even when they're off. The switch is down. And my husband's like, I don't know what to do. He took it apart. He did it again. He's like, something is going on. Have you tried praying?

It sounds like it might not be a technical issue. We might have an attachment, as they say. I think it's a boldergeist. So he's like, They're going to judge it too much also. They're called priests and we don't trust them either. They don't show up. Well, that's what happened.

So he goes, I'm at my end. I'm at my, you know, this is it. I'm at the end of my knowledge. Let's call a professional. And just what you said, I called a professional. He goes, well, he was referred. Yeah. He goes, well, I mostly work on elevators.

What? I go, are you an electrician? Well, of course I am. I'm an electrician. I got my license. But I'm just doing elevators now. But sure, I'll come out. I go, I don't.

Like that's supposed to sweeten the pot. Why'd you have to say that part? Honey, we got a, good news. We got an elevator guy. I was like, all right, I guess. I mean, you must still remember what they taught you in electrician school. Just to clarify, you don't want an elevator, please. I do not want an elevator.

Okay, I'm just letting you know. Just a fan. That's what I go to is elevators, but I won't put one in if you're saying you don't want one. You tell me I got to take the stairs up to this kid's room. But if you wanted one, I'm your guy, because I do elevators. So not only did he not show up the first time. Stairs, they're outdated. I did joke with my husband.

He's like, hey, wasn't that guy supposed to come this afternoon? And I go, he might have gotten stuck. I did do that joke. And then I called him and he's like, oh, I'm coming tomorrow. And then he didn't show up the next day either. So it's like, what do you need to show up? I know. It's a job.

You don't want a job. It's also like, how are you making comedians look like the most reliable people I know? Oh, my God. That is a phenomenal skill. Exactly. When I'm like, oh, I know at least the promise of like three drink tickets and 50 bucks will get somebody to a show to perform on. But I can't go. Here's going to be, it's going to be $7,000 if you could just be here tomorrow.

Right. Whoops. Did you like? did you like being suburban you? Like ultimately, like just for our listeners, you were in L.A. for a long time. Yeah. And then right before the pandemic is when you got the house, right?

Yeah, so this whole special is essentially there's a couple bits in the beginning, but then it's like a big long story. Gotcha. Great time to be a storyteller when everything needs to be 30 seconds or less for the internet. Exactly. But about like leaving, yeah, leaving L.A. during a pandemic.

and being in the suburbs of Portland. So the house I bought is actually in the city, but that's, I barely moved in there in the last few weeks. Yeah. But so, yeah, we were in the suburbs, and it was kind of, I wasn't mad at it.

I think I got, I'm still like just this delayed adolescence. I still just want to ride bikes and go to bars with my friends and play loud music and just enjoy. Yeah. At Christmas, like me and my sister were laughing. about something my parents like, are you kids ever going to grow up?

Like, what for what? For what? So I just like my bones can hurt and I can complain about stuff that doesn't bother me, which is why I do that part too. That's coming. But it's like the silliness of it. And so to be there in the context of, you know, we don't have kids and it was the weird, the, you know, the parameters of the pandemic, like don't do anything.

And we got very lucky to be able to go to this house that was in my girlfriend's family and just like, we're just in here. We just have Dan. parties in the middle of night. You want roller skating a living room? Go roller skate in a living room. It was, it's basically just what Tom Hanks does in big. Like that's pretty much just how we were living.

And I'm trying to recapture that with my own house. I don't see any reason to not do that. Yeah, why not? I don't see any reason to have a house with like things that you don't. Oh, don't go there. That it's fragile. It's like, why isn't it a house? Welcome to the dining room.

It's probably going to be putting some Legos together on it or something. I don't know. Do you have a kid? No, why? Why would you ask that? I will say the people on our cul-de-sac that don't have kids. Yeah. We stare at them. Yeah. And judge them. Envious? No. We're like, why are you here? I knew that was happening. This is a scooter area. You should be on scooters, on a skateboard or a big wheel.

Do they have an attitude of, like, get these kids away from me? So they're young, and I don't know what their situation is, because I'm going to say something racist right now, but it's a nice racist. They're Asian, and I can't tell how old they are. Like, I don't know what's happening. I would have thought that was racist until you said the whole preamble. Like, they look really young. I'm going to assume they're just like young, but there's three of them.

I don't understand. It could just be healthier. It just could be healthy. But like, there's three of them. So I'm like, that makes sense. It's a big house. They're sharing the rent or whatever. is, but like, are any of you guys dating?

Like, we don't know. We don't know. So you don't know if it's a parent. We have no idea because they all look the same in a good way and very young. Like, we don't know. We don't know. Age wise. Age wise.

So we're like, okay, but, you know, sometimes they're out in the driveway washing their car. And they just watch the kids having a nerve battle right in front of their house. And I'm just like, hey. They probably like it. Are they aware that maybe their only Asian. family in the cul-de-sac, like, they just keep staring at us whenever we go outside. We actually have an amazing, like we have the UN of neighbors. I love it. I love it. We have- But you're worried about the Asians, okay. No, no, we have other Asians too.

They're talking about the crazy Soviet woman that's staring at them. We have another, we have another Asian family down here and the other end of the cul-de-sac. So it's, we have a great, we have Native Americans. Oh, get this. This is the best. We're called First Nations. Okay, they have First Nation people, indigenous. I don't know. I don't know what to say anymore. The goalposts keep moving. They're like the Asians that we had here first.

So they have these rituals that they do. And when we first Google Earth the house, when we were, you know, shopping around, like, let's go Google Earth it and see we're going to go to the open house. We see at the end of our cul-de-sac there's like this massive, kind of like a labyrinth kind of thing that you would do. And so we asked some people when we did buy the house and move in, they're like, oh, yeah, those are the first responders. What did you call them? Anyways. That is what kind of.

It is what they did, do the boats. What's going on over here? And they do ritual stuff. So just so you know. And a couple times a year, you do hear it. I personally love it. I think it's amazing and great. I wish they would invite us.

They don't. They don't. They don't like us at all. going around. But they, calling them the wrong thing. You can hear. You can hear.

Trying to bring some hoof over for Thanksgiving. Yeah. Where they weren't excited about the holiday? What's wrong with this blanket? So, you know, you can hear the music and you can hear their instruments and they're loud. Yeah.

And then if you go around, they'll cul-de-sac on the other side, you can see, like, there's fires. It's pretty awesome. I think, I think our street. Did you get that vibe?

Did you get... I would love it if it was just like a Mexican's in a cult. And you're like, no, I think they're indigenous. and it's fine and it's just Satan worshipers just Honduran Satan worshipers but it smells delicious

like carnitas were you judged in suburbia like you look like you would blend in I mean if they were I didn't like honestly it was kind of great we had it was so people knew who lived in the house before

so we kind of got like oh you're like my girlfriend's mom like oh yeah we knew her and and so the old lady across street was named Shirley and she's just a spicy old lady would be gardening and she was just real fun right away. I'm like, all right, you're cool. And then because it's Portland,

I mean, it's suburbs of Portland. I was still kind of, I'm like, what are the suburbs like nowadays? I've been like old liberal L.A. and I'm going to be in the suburbs. And it was just white families with Black Lives Matters, but everywhere, just everywhere. You know, they were still like all, everybody.

Love rules this house And we believe it's all right, okay I'm with you, but let's calm down on the signage And so it really wasn't Like there's two kids on Have they're on skateboards or something And I'm like I should be afraid of teens Like I don't want to be the guy like skateboard and cool man

You guys know a kickflips? I don't want I should and like somebody drove by and honk Like it's a polite honk because they were in the middle of street that drove by. And he was like, fuck you. And it's like, right on. I'm like, you're an asshole, but that's what you should be. You're like 13 on a skateboard. And like, it wasn't very creative.

I would like it if it was more funny than it was just mean. But all right. Yeah. This is the most dangerous thing I've seen in this neighborhood. There's like an apartment with like some gang activity, which is consist of like one fence getting spray painted with a sign that the guy would power wash off. and it was kind of more of this volley. Oh, you got me again, kids.

I love using this power washer, though. So we get out there. But I remember talking to you for my radio show. Yeah. And you were the very first guest ever on the What a Joke show. All right. How about that? A very first one.

And we talked to you a couple stages during the pandemic. It was when you were up in the house and it was kind of like it was locked down time. And you checked in with us. And it was like a little weird. And then the next time we talked to you, you were getting in a van. Oh, I was taking off. You were taking off in a van. And then I heard that you were thinking about coming back to L.A. for a little bit.

So it's been kind of this cool little arc. You've been on a little bit of a journey. It was. We kind of went up there without knowing what was going on. I mean, it's nobody wants to talk about the pandemic anymore. But that feeling of that uncertainty of the first summer. of it happening. Yeah.

It was real weird. Like, it was weird being here and not, like, for the first time knowing what silence was. Because we lived in Beachwood Canyon, and it was always, it was cars,

there was helicopters, or there was, leaf blowers were still going. The leaf blowers never stopped. Never affected by the pan. Those leaves got to get out of here. They got to move to the next yard. And we'll move them.

It's a war of attrition with the leaf blowers. And then, but yeah, just sitting out there, like, oh, there's no planes. And nobody's on the highway. And Rachel would just go, she's like, I just drove.

I got to, like, I got to have, like, Ventura in 15 minutes. It seems like you're probably going fast. Like, yeah, nobody's out there. Yeah, everyone's going fast. But so then when we got up there, it was kind of this, you know, I think I talked about this bad, like going door to door, like, because we were like trying to find who this, our cat belonged to a stray cat. But yeah, like, oh, we're just going door to door.

But get out of you. Like, well, I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot. We had one lady, like, met one guy who was just into mountain bikes, lived two houses down. Yeah. Saw him because he was, like, carrying a broken helmet from mountain bike. Like, oh, you're cool. He was dating his wife there.

And she had an older kid that didn't live with the house. I'm like, oh, so you're going to be a neighbor friend. Like, it's kind of what I wanted to just have an open beer and walk two houses down to somebody that has cool stuff in their garage and just sit there. Yeah. He's like underneath his mustache. Get it ready for the track. Yeah, got to get ready for the track. I must be getting ready for the track too.

Yeah. Well, King of Hill. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's, I do really like that sense of community. I liked it when I lived in an apartment building. I still wanted to know everybody. I call the Zach. You want to know.

Yeah. I think there's value in knowing your neighbors. Yeah. I absolutely love it. Having everybody's phone number to be like, I'm not going to abuse it, but you see something weird at my house. Let me know. I see something weird in your house. We have a text chain going where we just ask the most random, whatever, you know,

whatever is on your mind, whether it has to do with the neighborhood or not. Yeah. I love that because we, the first minute we moved in, we had not unpacked yet, but it was Thanksgiving. Yeah. And we were like, hey, we don't have any like a roasting pan. We can't find our roasting pan. It's in one of these boxes.

We had three on our front doorstep within minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's, yeah. I feel extremely lucky and grateful because you can also have shitty neighbors that are just the worst. I always, you know, it's the stand-up trope of like, you got

that one friend that's a jerk or something, look to your left. If they're not the jerk, look at your right. Then you're the jerk. I was wondering, I'm like, oh, am I the neighbor that's... One of the guys working at my house goes, your neighbor, their trunk's been open for like all day. We remember for five hours. Their trunk's been open. I don't see anybody out there. I'm like,

okay. Now I have to like, look at my... I bought a crummy house in a nice neighborhood. And then I look like this. I look like the guy that just doesn't care if your ring doorbell is going to catch me stealing the mail. And I didn't meet this particular neighbor yet, but I'm like, oh, that would suck if I had the trunk open. Your battery's dead or something. It's a Tesla.

I don't know how they work for this guy's car. But I got to walk up, like, he's got a nice driveway. Yeah. And a nice staircase where I'm like, turn around looking at the view he's got. I'm like, I'm doing all right here. So I'm like, look, don't look suspicious. Yeah. But then I'm like huffing up after moving.

and stuff all day and I got my shit in my beard and stuff and like sawdust and whatever and ringing the bell and I know it sees me I don't know if there's audio on those which there is but I don't realize so I'm just like hey it's like I'm starting an audition tape like hey it's

it's Kyle my mom 510 you start giving your profile yeah I wasn't self-guiled like am I talking to nobody so I think I just stopped like I just wanted it uh ah never mind Like I just walked away.

And then he knows the neighbor who I did give my phone number to. And he's like, hey, this is so-and-so. I live across the street. Why are you at my house? Like, I'm sorry, man. I noticed your trunk was open. That's it. Sorry.

Yeah, I didn't mean to freak you out. I'm glad you knew it was me and that's a random cycle. And I'm like, you see anything weird to happen in my place? You give me a ring. That was too much. Because now it's not like I read it. I'm like, now it sounds like, I'm expecting trouble. Like I'm a drug dealer that got out of the game.

And that's why I'm in the neighborhood. now. You see my parole officer. You let me know. I got to be in home. Listen, my name is Charles Davidson. That's the name the FBI gave. Across the street.

Was there a little bit of a stand-up itch that had you coming back down to L.A.? I mean, I know you were always doing stand-up. You were popping around in clubs up there. You were going on the road up there. And the special dirt nap is... it's not a guy who took time off. This is, you're still very,

very much in your element. But, but did you miss the LA scene? Um, I missed, I, I did miss seeing my friends and like, yeah,

like every night, like, I'm going to go to this room and I'm going to go to this room. Even if I'm not performing, this is what, this is what I do. And I be, I don't watch anybody's comedy specials.

Uh-huh. Because I watch everybody every night. I don't watch everybody. And it's probably bad. I should analyze what, what somebody's endgame is. Right. Like, oh, this is the result of all this work that we're doing.

Right. But I missed, yeah, I missed the camaraderie and how close it was. Yeah. And so we came back because the misses, she was, she's been writing scripts, so old pandemic and kind of getting her, like, her library built up. Right. So she's got to get back in the mix. And I was like, yeah, it's not going to hurt to be down here and let people know I didn't die.

Right. But even like I was saying before, though, even before pandemic, I had like kind of divorced stand-up from show business. Right. I was just here to do stand-up. I would go on the road. I got very fortunate that this town gave me credits and enough notoriety that I can go work clubs and pay my bills. Yeah. But then when I was here and they're like in the middle of the day, like you want to do auditions?

Right. Those sound terrible. Yeah. I never get anything. I walk in. I see somebody who should get the job. Like, I can't wait to see this guy in this part because he's going to do great. I guess I just drove out to Santa Monica just to say, hey, good job.

They're going to pick him, and I agree. That's a stamp of approval. I wasn't auditioning. I was just giving people a tip of the hat. But so I was just, you know, I was just going on bike rides and enjoying my days while I was here. And then going to shows at night and, yeah, having a good. So that part I missed, that was kind of. So the part about the auditioning and stuff like the, the,

You say you divorce it from show, stand up from show business. Yeah. Which is really so pleasant. Like to just purely do stand up. There's also, but being around here and seeing other people get things and knowing that whatever you do get that gets your face out there, more people know you. Yeah. It'll be interesting to see if you can pull this off. Yeah.

Well, I didn't. I'm not, I wasn't saying no to. anything, but I wasn't actively like, oh, I got to get with my writing partner and get this script on. I'm like, why? I've done that. And I've gone through the, I just really didn't enjoy the process. That being said, if somebody has something they'd like me to be.

Some guy whittles in the background. I'm your guy. Got my own overalls. But I don't. Offer only. Yeah, offer only. Non-speaking roles. I don't want to.

I just, I'm just, the process is like, oh, this is a pretty good idea. So, like, okay, yeah, okay. And now it should be a show. Like, okay, I guess it's to be a show. And then you, right, you go pitch it and like, that's good. Here's some money. Okay, all right, here's notes. Like, that changes all of it.

Okay, I'll go change. You think you take the notes and you go back. Like, this is worse. But I just did what you wanted me to do. And then you go back, like, where's the woman who gave me the notes? Well, she's on maternity leave. So now you got notes from that guy. I'm like, all right, I'll do his notes.

And you change it. Then the woman comes back from a Terry leave. She's like, you didn't take any of my notes. I'm like, I did, but then I went to that guy. Just give me the money and tell me you're not going to make it. Let's cut to the chase. And I got, and this is, again, having a bad attitude, which maybe I got to correct. But, you know, I had a podcast called The Boogie Monster with my pal Dave Stone for like six or seven years.

And a production company came to us. This is great. We want to make a show out of it. Who came to us? That means we get to tell you how this is going to go. down. And they were like, great. And they were a great company to work for. And we made this pilot. And we took it to a network. And even the network was like, this is good. Wow. Really? You're saying that? They came to where we were shooting it out in New Mexico. And they were like,

asking the director, like, why are you making the shot? We want more of them. Like, that's what we've been telling. Like, even the TV people are on our side. This never happened. And so you make the mistake and getting your hopes up. And even the TV people are like, it's looking good. It's got to go. And And then it goes up the ladder at the network. And then the main guy who was saying, yes, the stuff leaves. And a new guy comes in and says, I don't care. It's all gone. Every time.

That was like, like, over the course of almost two years from start to that, that it's just gone with like the Thanos snap. I didn't see that movie, but I know. You're right. I don't either, but I know it. But just, yeah, barely a lot of stuff goes wrong. He had all the, anyways, it's fine. He had nice rings.

He didn't need anything anymore. So that's why I got mine all the time. I swear, I think they fire people on purpose to be like, you know what? We're going to fire the president of whatever, Disney, so that we can just get rid of all this stuff that we don't really. It's true and clean slate it. Because that story is, it's not just common. It's textbook. That happens all the time.

But also, like, I mean, you want to get conspiracy theory. Not even conspiracy. Like you get a tax write off for anything. Like you take a business venture that doesn't work. You get to write that off on your taxes. They're doing that with millions and millions of dollars. Right. A flop.

Somebody's head's going to roll. They're going to get paid back on a lot of it. Yeah. Well, we don't want to deal with this one. So write it off. Take the loss. Get paid back on it. Right. And you can get a little dental insurance.

Yeah. Can you take that somewhere else? No, that was kind of like. But that, was the whole point is like, oh, we weren't even thinking about doing this. And then we're sitting here all depressed. Yeah. And put this ever because we got our hopes up. And if you're built for that, if you're built to know that, if you can like, like, build in disappointment into the pursuit. Yeah. Like, I already do that. That's 100% what stand-up is for me. Is that I might not,

I might not be the biggest stand-up in the world. I'd like, it's that mix of being very appreciative for what you have versus, like, can I get a little bit more? Or will I rock the boat? If I want it a little bit more, I'm like, well, I can't control you that. All I can control is the quality of the stand-up that I do. And if that's good enough, but I could sit there and chop up clips and have more presence on social media and be comfortable with looking at my own face and my phone. I don't even have mirrors in my house, let alone I look at my phone and be like, hey, come to the club this weekend. I'm like, I look like a fucking idiot.

I hate it. I just every clip, everyone I swear at it and then I have to redo it. The people who are really great, or I don't know if they're really great, but they're very aggressive about putting stuff out. Not even just their clips, like just them on their phone. Not one time do they pick up their phone, record something, go, ugh, no. No. They, every time they go, great, send, send. They don't have that thing.

Or they know. Not that, take two. Why'd you say take two? It's your phone. You don't have to say that. You're the director, you're the producer, you're everything.

You don't have to slate it. Yeah. Yeah, there's that chip. There's that chip that chip that it goes kind of against being a comedian. I can't follow. They've figured out what works. I also just,

I think I'm very worried of my life becoming, like, when do you, like, change gears into approaching life? Like, that could be content. Yeah.

That was a, let's do, let's tape this thing. No, let's just go do the thing. Yeah. Just go to six flags. Don't take, I'll take a picture of a thing I'm doing, but maybe that's it.

Did you watch a lot of stand-up when you were a kid? Yeah. Before Comedy Central, remember it was called the Comedy Channel. Yes. I remember those comics, it freaked them out. I remember there were like these interview shows. It freaked them out that they were doing that show.

They were like, this one comic, I can't remember who he was. I'm sure he's probably dead by now. But he was talking about, he's like, when you're a stand-up, your job is at 8 o'clock, you show up, you perform, you get off stage, and you're done.

No one expects anything from you. You don't have to be funny on the subway home. You don't have to talk to anybody for the next 24 hours until your next set. And then he goes, even just being on this show, and this was, I don't know how many years ago. He goes, this is already, you're expecting more from a comic because you want me to come here and be funny and tell jokes. And I'm not in my office right now.

It's like someone asking, can I get a root canal on a subway? You know what I mean? Like, I'm not in my office right now, but okay, I'll do it. And I remember just watching that, like, wow, like, what is he even talking about? I didn't get it. Now I totally get it. Yeah. You have to be a comedian 24-7.

now on your phone, on Twitter, write a thing, shoot a th- I'm on my way to the club, oh my God, I'll see you guys soon, Lexington. You know, like every-your-one show. Every minute of your day. Yeah, your life is the show. And I, like, I half refer to it, like, make it, like, just being at whatever level of success where your bills are paid from just doing stand-up, I already say, like, I'm retired because I was going to be doing stand-up anyway.

I was going to be the old guy at the open mic, just because this is this itch he needed to scratch all his years working at Dow Chemical or whatever he's like I know I'm going to be funny that'll be my thing that I do but I just like it rubs me the wrong way that everybody's getting like comedians or philosophers like no they're not there are people with free time and enough money to not worry about free time equaling a lack of income great everybody's a philosopher it's like no we just like it's pub sports it's like we're the best billiards player it's still the thing you were doing at a bar to have drinks with your friends but then you're like oh there's a couple bucks on the table for this one

I'm gonna be up and actually try and practice this a little bit better and you go to the big old billboard champion or a billion's championship you know it's color of money for you oh boy that's still it it's still bar sports that we're good at and that's not to discredit it or make it less than but I don't this elevating it into like yeah true tell oh yeah oh yeah me and Socrates are like

I know, but allow me to say, your stand-up has, you're part of the problem because your stand-up has, your stand-up is so funny and smart and you also have a depth to it that makes people kind of lean that way, like, oh, it's more than pub sports. You're actually saying things that are, that are valuable. I'll tell you why you're part of the problem also. Okay, here we go. Because you make it, Joe, you want to jump in? You make it look like it's easy.

That's one thing. And you've had that for a while. That's kind of your style. It doesn't look like you're like, all right, guys, here's another one. You're going to like, it's, you make it look a little bit too easy. Well, all right. Enough with the compliments. I'm not good.

But that's why you feel that way. But in that, I got, you know, 20-some years on it. And it's the 24-7 of being a comedian is absorbing what's happening around you and processing it and wondering how can this work as material. So I might not be videotaping the thing that I'm doing because my job is to use my words to, you know, describe how my evening went or my trip to the amusement park or my vacation is to come back and have, I've been calling it, like, mistaken. journalism for a while. Like, I'll go out and do something stupid. Then I'll come and tell you about it. And like, hopefully a very humorous, cautionary tale. But I think, oh, I lost my trip. I'm all mired in these compliments.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't stop her compliment. Shut up. I have these moms that are getting together because they found out. I never tell anybody, never, especially my kids' teachers. They all eventually find out. Someone finds me on Instagram or whatever. And so they're getting together and they're like, we're all getting together. Are you going to be nervous if you see us there? I don't have the heart to tell them.

I could give zero fucks if you guys, I don't care about my set at flappers. But thank you. The moms always go to flappers. Always go to flappers. And I go, thank you for coming. I go, are you going to? Is it okay that you know we're coming or does that make you like really nervous? I go, oh God, if you knew how little.

It's not that I don't love the set. I want to do the set. It's with Wendy Liebman and Pepitone. It's going to be a great night. But I love that feeling that they put on it where they put their, you know, like it's like a chili cookoff and we're, oh, maybe you'll get the blue ribbon. And I go, oh, God, I don't have the heart to tell them. I do these all the time.

And they're, it's like a guy that just sleeps with any woman. I don't know any of the names. Come see me hoar around over a flap or something. That's really what it is. I will have sex with any stand-up spot that you give me. I'm, I'm there, I'm there. I will do it. I don't care.

I don't have any. The kids are going to edit that sound bite down. It's not going to go well for you. Yeah, I'm a comedy horror. I feel, well, I usually try to direct people. Like, oh, we found out. And worse was like the contractors. Because, like, you know, I Google everybody's name.

Like, well, looked at your stuff. I'm like, I'm sitting up there like, like, I, you know, I don't try to be like purposely divisive with the material, but it's pretty left and it's pretty liberal. And I'm like, now I got all these guys like in the house. Yeah, I guess we'll redo your bathroom, you little queer ass. Okay. Because that's where I would rather like, yeah,

it'd be like somebody smart, you know, like somebody with a work truck doesn't put their political beliefs on the back of the work truck, because if you're just, or maybe you do because you want people know about it. But it's kind of like, oh, you found out about my work and what I do. And it is the, you know, the, the sympathy you have with like strippers or whatever. Yeah. Oh, you just want to go in your life without somebody going, hey.

Yeah. Ah. Right. Yeah. Okay. I just hate having to tell other moms, this woman at gymnastics, we got to talking. and she's, you know, her kid is same age as mine. And she's talking about her work and how one day she just had to get up and move to Mexico City for work.

And, you know, I was like, wow, that's incredible. What do you do? And she's like, well, I help businesses strategize that, that, that. And she just literally my eyes just like went blank. I had no idea the word she was using. But it sounded interesting. She's like, it's all about connectivity. And I have, right?

And I'm just like, I'm not smart enough for any of this. Yeah, probably. She works for a global corporation. Probably, for sure. And then she's like, what about you? And I was like, uh, I tell jokes. Like, she just went off on this big thing. And I know, I'm a clown.

Do you ever lie? No. Maybe on an airplane, because I really don't want to get into it. I'll say entertainment industry, which also could be porn. Could be so it's kind of fun. Yeah. Good big headphones. Yeah.

With the exception of one, I mean, if we can get it. travel stories, everybody's got one. But usually the big headphones are like, not talking to anybody. Yeah, exactly. One woman I was next to who was just, I don't know if she was new on a plane. Like, hey, hey, hey, hey, what's that?

She's like, I was on a plane like that earlier today. I'm like, just, okay. Yeah, they don't get the exaggerated. I'm sorry, what? And she had the mask on, like, I'm not like, that was a whole flight that I brought. I comically, I have this issue with like karma and luck and I feel there's finite amounts of each.

But I feel like you could rebuild them up And one of those was me in a middle seat Between two new flyers And just like I feel that bar going back up A good karma Because we're going to be quiet We're going to listen to our podcasts

We're not going to cause ruckus here I feel like it's in Uber's more I don't know about you guys When you get an Uber I will lie in an Uber Yeah Yeah Well because right

They seem like they're up to something You don't I've been in many Uber with you and you're like, we're at the show tonight. Like, you tell me. I did flip. I did flip at a certain point. I was always like, put my things in and not, and not talking.

And then I got to a certain point where they're chatty. We're going to be talking. Yeah. I'd much rather talk about me than you. Okay. Always the other way. I know about me. I don't know about you.

That's, that's where I go. Yeah. So you like, you like, you like, people knowing that you're a comic. Yeah, I don't mind it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't mind it. I mean, because, you know.

You're a psychopath. What's the bad part? He's doing the opera house in Lexington. You know, you want to kind of tell people. The worst part. What is going on? Never mind. Never mind.

I guess if I had bigger gigs, I'd be a little more. I was a comedian. No, I don't know. I mean, it is a great thing to be a comedian. Yeah, I'm, I'm, proud of it. I just, it's, you open up this whole window like, I love comedy. You know who's really funny? Yeah. And then you're like, oh, and then they'll give you some shitty comic that they love and it's the best. And you're like, oh, great. Yeah. I have told when I'm by myself, which I am many

times, and it's late at night and I'm in an Uber. This one guy said, or are you coming from, you know, where are you coming home from? I did do this once just to make my husband laugh. I told him I had just won a national jiu-jitsu competition so that he wouldn't even think about fucking with me. I did do that one time. And your stand-up clothes, too? No duffel bag you want it in the streetclose. I should have been all bruised up.

That would have looked better. Just put a head. But I did tell someone, he's like, oh, what do you do? And I go, well, I'm like one of the top ranked, like, I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. And he's like, whoa. And he's like looking at me in the back in the rear. Like I can see his eyeballs. And I was like, yeah.

So I just came back from that. I won the whole thing. So it's kind of fun. I went to the top. I don't think I can lie well, which it gets because then my girlfriend's like, that's what good liars always say. I'm like, no, I'm shitty at lying. And so I always think of the profession I'd want to put forth.

Yeah. But then I know I'd fold under like one question. Like that. Like, oh, you, Jiu-Jitsu, what kind? Like, oh, fuck. Eastern? Eastern. They can't even deliver it.

Yeah. I know. That is tricky because he could have asked me a million questions. Yeah. Because everybody does Jiu-Jitsu now. Everybody's a warrior. Right. Exactly.

And cold plunging. But, you know, you sometimes as a woman, you'll do. You know, you'll say, I don't know, you'll say something like that, hopefully. Maybe it's some sort of like, don't touch me. I'll kill you. I like random, like, I thought a guy was lying to me. And it was in, I think I was in Wisconsin or something. No, Michigan, because you know where the biggest deposit of oil is?

He's like, I used to work in the oil industry for a type of gas price or something. I used to work in an oil industry. I'm like, this doesn't count. Driving for Lyft doesn't count as working in the oil. industry. Very, very extrapolated. Yeah, maybe. But it goes, biggest oil deposit in the world is underneath Wisconsin.

They allow drilling in Wisconsin be richer in the entire Middle East. And I'm like, how do you know that? It's like, that's just facts. And just the, like this guy drove for lift, but it would also be an expert and believe we have more oil than the entire Middle East underneath Wisconsin. And then, but then that just gave me like, that would be funny if we had like the opulence of Dubai, but in Green Bay. And just like, like, like a 200-story bass pro shop and stuff. Oh, my God. That's more fun for me.

Yes. To talk to crazy. I mean, I don't. Right, right. I can only imagine being a woman. It's probably a different scenario to get into. For sure. For sure.

I just want to hear. I don't want to do the crazy living anymore. I want to hear other people's crazy stuff. Instead of the cheese hats. They just have like an oil rig hat. Yeah, yeah. Fancy Flannas. Bugatti, John Deere crossovers.

Like, just the idea of like the wealthiest place in the world being Wisconsin was so delightful to me. It all came from talking to this goober. Yeah. Who was convinced that there's more oil than Saudi Arabia underneath Kenosha. I'm like, all right, dude. Well, that's the other part of it for me too, though, is when I started doing live from here, which is Prairie Home Companion. Yeah.

And I had to write these things about each city. each week. It was like five minutes of stand-up that I just had to write and do the end of each week. I started saying, I was a comedian, but I also just started talking.

I just was like, so where are you from? Like I was, for the first time, you know, people are always like, oh, you're going to get material from this.

You're going to get material from my life. What is your life? Okay. I started asking, you know, like I really started mining it. And I haven't shut up since. The show's been canceled.

and I'm still out there in the elevator. Yeah, that's kind of a framework of, of, Prairie home companions, like get down, get to the home town type of. Yeah, and like figure out. Yeah, because they, I mean, it's so corny, but they truly all have stories. I was, I was doing that before stand-up. I remember one time my car broke down and I was getting towed.

And before I did stand-up and the tow truck driver got another call. I'm like, I got nothing to do if you want to just drive around. Like, we can go get that other car. Mine was on the flatbed part because he's like, you sure? It's kind of like, yeah, I'll hang out. I mean, it's really like it's everything you're not supposed to do in a modern age to stay alive. I'm like, I only just talk to this tow truck driver. You don't go to a second location with a tow truck driver?

Absolutely. Like, I got nothing going on. It's hilarious. Cars not going to get fixed at 11 o'clock at night anyway. They'll take a tour around in Chicagoland. Would you ever take a fan up on, hey, you're coming to Boise? you want to meet up for coffee or dinner or do you ever get those? No, I've gotten when it's in the actual context of comedy,

I feel bad because like I, you know, like I don't want to call anybody. You get, if you, if you're very honest with your comedy, or if you just do it, you get like a variety of people coming to the shows,

you know, and if you talk about, you know, yourself in like a vulnerable way, you get some very vulnerable people. have come to the shows and some people that are extra vulnerable that might not know social cues and stuff and you're like, I'm glad you just felt okay enough to come to the show because I realize that like coming out to a thing is probably difficult for you to do. Yeah. But also, I don't know how to

like navigate after shows like the meet and greet because I don't want to do official meet and greet I mean, I don't know if you all do them. I'd, yeah. Well, I do sign my books. Okay. But so there's a buffer of like, hey, thank you. Oh, thanks. And then anybody with a modicum of awareness is like, oh, and I'm now stopping the next person from paying you. Yeah, 90% of the people are that way. Merch does, merch does a good job of like facilitating that. But when it's, I just, I don't want to do a proper. I stand here and then I shake your hand. That's like a wedding reception. Yeah. And it feels so just like sterile and weird. And here's your photo. Please move along. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd rather like, if I'm in a mood to hang out. Like Santa. Yeah, I'll go. Yeah. Get him off.

my lap, which is how I do fan photos. Maybe that's my fault. I don't know. But so I'll just be in the bar afterwards. But then you get somebody that's like, oh, you know,

your comedy helped. I went through a rough year and talked about loss or something. And they're having this moment that's hard. But then I still do, yeah, there's beers and this and I still have that crowd. I like both crowds equally, but that crowd,

like somebody will just come out of the left field, like, what kind of shot do you want? I'm like, I just lost both parents in a train wreck. I'm trying to give them the time of day. Maybe not in a shot, but I'll see you at the bar. So now I kind of just stay in the green room until like enough time's gone by. I'm like, oh, if somebody's really still hanging out there.

Yeah, yeah. I'll go out. But those stories are amazing. Like those stories of you got me through that time thing is pretty impactful. And when you know, like, I think I saw a clip of like Stavros do it. So he's like, we know we're doing this for ourselves. Like, we know, like, I'm glad it helped you. But we're doing it because of a reward for ourselves.

Like, let's be honest. I'm glad the runoff. Yeah. I'm glad the side effect is you feel better. Yeah. So, you know, Maria Bamford does a lot about mental health. Yeah. So that's sometimes the audience members that she gets in.

And she talks about, like, they kind of come there, like, almost for medical advice. And she's like, oh, no. Yeah. Oh, my God. And I know Greg Fitzsimmons also talks about, like, I found my perfect meds. And people will come, a lot of comics talk about this. If they talk about the meds that they found for depression, audience members show up, like, with their, you know, like, what do you think about this one? I take it on an empty stomach.

What do you think? Should I take it with food? Nobody's throwing ludes on stage anymore. Yeah, exactly. It's like, I don't, I'm not giving any medical advice. It could break you off some well-butrin if you're feeling a little low. But I can't even imagine like people just showing up, like wanting to connect on those levels. Yeah.

Well, and also like the, especially if you have podcasts or something like the parisocial relationship now is not just like, oh, I've watched your special. And then that's all I know about it. You know, I listen to you every day. Yeah. We're casually, you know, you get here. We're setting up and doing a podcast. But then I find myself I'll listen to like certain shows where I'm like, oh, I know these guys. Yeah.

If I saw him live, like, hey, what's up? And that would happen from doing podcasts. We're like, oh, no, this feels strange to me. And I don't, like, I tried to do Twitch over pandemic. I'm like, I mess around with video games, but we'll see what it's like. You know, we'll see what doing. And then people were there and you just know they're watching you. And I'm like, oh, I'm not being funny.

Like, you don't have to do anything. We're just watching you do this. Stop doing Twitch. I'm out of here. Oh, it should be the same if I just left my blinds open. Is there... I don't like this at all. Is there any difference in your approach to comedy

or how you're analyzing the stuff you want to talk about since you started therapy for the first time? You mentioned you, especially you went to therapy. Yeah, the therapy, I went and then I stopped going. I really thought I was like, this thing's bothering me. Fixed it. Like, I really went and was more of a diagnostic. That's a thing?

That's what it was. Okay. I thought so. Yes, I haven't. So it's not really a thing you're... Well, no, I have a hard time starting it as a regular issue. I've kind of started, I went, you know, a few times here or there thinking like, oh, that's what it is.

And then I'm not doing it correctly because I still... I know I'm wrong with what I'm saying. But it does feel like the contractor kind of thing. Right. It's like, oh, well, we opened up the walls. But you got, now you got asbestos in there. So we got to call it as best as guy. And that's going to be another three weeks.

A few more $1,000. And I had a hard time with the therapy not being like, right, like. It's always a cliffhanger. Right, right. You're never wrapping it up. Yeah. And the reason you feel that way is tune in next week. Yeah.

And I know that's, well, you got to get the right therapist and everything. And it really was, I just went and got just a couple things that I thought were answered. I'm sure the therapy heads are like, you're not doing it right. at all. But I've always had this, as I'm saying, especially this Midwestern relationship with the concept of therapy is like, oh no, you do therapy if things are bad. Right. Like, you don't just go. Did you kill somebody? I don't get it.

You go because you have secrets that are keeping you awake. I don't have that. So I guess I'm just fine. You just got to suck it up. Yeah, well, that's that Midwestern sense of like, yeah, everything is kind of bad. Sure. So you're going to pay some money to have somebody else tell you it's kind of bad. Yeah.

with it. Yeah. You're arrogant if you think you like, not arrogant, but your expectations are silly if your life would be perfect. You're kind of arrogant if you're like,

I just want better for myself. Oh, look who wants better for myself. Oh, fancy pants. But it was, there was always kind of this air of like, oh,

look, God, somebody's doing all right. Oh, yeah, somebody's doing all right. Nothing bothers them. Oh,

okay, okay, okay, we're just going to laugh that one off. Yeah. So it's kind of, Like, no, and maybe it's, you know, again, a masculine thing. Like, well, you got your problems.

You handle your problems. Yeah. That's how I handle it. Yeah. You drink. Right. Just like covering the ears of your problem. Sure.

Yeah. But, no, that didn't change. I think the way I would approach comedy, if we're going to get inside baseball about it, it's like, I still want to like, oh, if I'm mad about a thing, I have to be like, well, why am I mad about it? Right. Am I mad because the thing is incredibly? or am I incorrect?

So that's how I was always just writing jokes for a while. Yeah. Because somebody's viewpoint of like, I'm fed up with all this stuff. It's like, well, maybe you suck. Right. You don't think about the reason everything around you is lousy is because you suck and you should be happier and not, but then they would lose that angle. Right.

That's their persona. Right. And I never wanted to like get stuck. I would rather my persona also be beneficial to my mental health. My persona is like, well, why does this upset me? Maybe it's because I have a history with this subject matter. Like, I'm going to go read about road rage because I have it bad and also maybe something funny will happen. But I find out it's because you take things personally that aren't and you decide that,

oh, the reason somebody didn't use a turn signal in front of you is because they knew, oh, that's Kyle behind me. We hate him. And then they cut you. And that's not it at all. I'm like, oh, now I'm learning how to cope with road rage. also I can write this bit about it because I go off on something there. Right, right.

It makes me reflect more because I don't want to be just the guy that hates stuff. Right, right. He's had enough. Can I be a therapist right now? Road rage, how does that manifest for you? Right? Isn't that the kind of stuff they say? Tell me what that means, basically.

I swear. But you're saying it's really bad. It's really bad. Like, what does that mean? We all kind of go. I know where certain people live. What? No.

Yeah. What? Don't judge him. I'm not judging him. That's a horrible therapist, by the way. That is a horrible therapist. He just opened up. Wait a second.

Someone did not stay in character. And now I'm feeling vulnerable. And this is why I don't go back there. Oh, my God. Tell me what that means. You have followed people home, like the show beef? There's circumstances that have happened where I've been like, and okay.

And I know that now. Right. And let's hope that that knowledge is enough. That's pretty amazing. Maybe postcards from somewhere on the road show up. And they're not ominous. They're just like, hmm. You would have lost your mind then.

On the way down here, I was getting on the freeway. And a Tesla. Yeah. Was backing down off the on-ramp. Oh, no. And all of us were like, wait, what? Where are you going? You know what I mean?

And I was behind. a truck so I couldn't really quite see what's going on, but I did see a Tesla coming closer. Yeah, you probably would have lost your goddamn mind. How do you go on and on ramp and then go, nah? I think the beauty of the Tesla is you could just blame it. You can just be like, oh, self-driving. They got a broken one. I'm not running this thing at all.

I mean, here's what I am not saying. You should do what I do. You are your own person. But I used to not. anything, I'm not going to say crazy, crazy. Not anything crazy, but like when I first moved to L.A., I was overwhelmed with the traffic. And then you do have those auditions on a Friday in Santa Monica.

That's the most dangerous person in L.A. Yeah. And so you're losing your mind because you're like, how am I ever going to get there? And then I was a personal assistant for many years. So that was just bananas, just driving all over panic. Yeah, yeah. And one thing that I did was I pretended

these people that were doing things that were so obnoxious, annoying, unsafe, just lost a loved one. That was exactly one of the things. It was like you don't know what anybody else's story is. And that was actually the conclusion of the bit was like, I've just been spending all day writing everybody else's story. What about my story, guys? Who's writing my story? It's time for Kyle to have a story. I'm going through this four-way stop sign.

not looking, figure it out, storyboarded everybody. But that was it. Like, the very same thing. Like, yeah, I bet their life is a lot worse than mine. I don't hope that it is. Right. But that's the way for me to not, like, I'm giving into this juvenile response to something. I'm being a baby.

Like, I'd have to shame myself first. Like, you're being a baby and you don't know what anybody else is going through. But then you see the person that cut you off and they're just like, I'm going to But that's how they deal I want to see a car in flames That's how they deal with death They deal with death by laughing, Kyle

Okay, well There's some more Desoing mechanism I go right to death all the time I really go right I don't want I'm going to kill somebody But I do like

Manafel Like I like I'd like I'll hex people I know like It's like the safest way Because I'm never Oh kill that guy Because it's like macho talk that I'll never back up. They're like, oh, if there's entities in the world that need me to light a candle when I get home,

I'll light the candle and I'll make sure that the mirror behind it is facing east. And that means that that guy's going to have a real shit evening. All right, let's do it. Let's light this candle. That's crazier than just going, oh, fuck you could kill a guy. When you were living in the suburbs out of L.A., which is the worst traffic in America. Yeah. Maybe Atlanta.

Houston. Was it more mellow? Did it? No, no. It's got so much worse. Oh, really? I live in Portland, Oregon. Which is, it's not traffic.

It's people. Like, they've done episodes of Portlandia about it. So I'm not going to rehab. It's bicycles. The most. I look out for the bicycles. I'm a bicycle guy. Right.

But it's the, like I said, everybody drives cars. Like, it's like an air fryer they got for Christmas and they're not sure they're going to keep it. They're so terrified of the functionality of a vehicle of just like, oh, these buttons, oh, my God. Mm-hmm. Boom. Like, it's refreshing being here where I know, like, oh, I got to get off the 101 at Woodman. Is that when the solid white line is actually splitting for the lane,

somebody's going to cut in front of me, like, I appreciate your connections, sir. Yeah. Because if it was Portland, I would have been lined up three miles already. knowing that, well, the Woodman exit's going to be coming up soon, so we better just get over the side. The rest of the highway open. Rest of the highway open. Better get over here because, again, we,

good thing, we left three hours early. We've got time to kill. We're going to do about 10 under the speed limit on the highway. They ask the brake pedal for consent. May I step on you, brake pedal? Do you feel safe? Oh, God. It's so funny.

Dylan Jenkins, to shout out a great comic in Portland, Dylan Jenkins as a joke. He's like, people say we don't have. have an accent here in Portland, but we definitely drive with a slow southern draw. Oh, after you, sir. No, no, no, I do believe you shall merge before me. And I heard that. I'm like, oh, hey, man.

I've actually run out of, like, I'm not articulate regularly. Stand up, I like putting a couple, $5 words in there because it makes, you're putting on a, I'm saying the same stuff everybody else is saying. You're great at that. Let's dress it up a little bit. Yeah. There's a lot of seasoning in the cabinet. Yeah.

But when it comes to just being mad, I have just run out of swear words at the point where I don't know what to yell anymore. And it sounds and it's just been the word coward over and over. Oh, that's hilarious. Like I'm calling out a gunfighter or something. I just can't. There's no swear that will fulfill the need, like the emotion I want to express. Like, I've got to learn a other language just to get mad at somebody.

that would be a great reason to learn other languages. Just the swear words, though. A bafung-un-gul. Throw a malacca in there. Maracas are great. Yeah, I got some Greek in there. I remember that one from my friend's parents. When you have kids, at least I tried to really tone down.

Someone cut me off recently. My eight-year-old is so trained. She goes, I bet you're going to wish they get to their destination safely. and I go, you're right, sweetheart. That's what we wish. So I have trained them. Someone does something super just, you know, irresponsible, dangerous. And I just go, I really hope you get to your destination safely.

I'm going to codify a blessing. It's like you've auto-corrected something. Yes. Like, nope, this comes out as a blessing. Right. We know what the feeling is. I know what the feeling is, but my eight-year-old now is so used to it. She's like, Daddy gives them the finger.

Yeah. She will tattle on you. so fast. I think it's too violent now too. Like I realize that I'm getting mad at people and especially I go back to Chicago and stuff. Like, oh, there's, yeah, they're just shooting at you. Yeah. All right.

I got to. No kidding. I got like. And you look like a walking second amendment. I look like somebody would, yeah, would want to engage. Or who would fire back. So that's probably in your bed. Yeah.

Nobody's pulling over. Pull over. Oh, okay. It was all words. We were all just professional. wrestling. No, I heard what you said in Italian. Yeah. I don't know why I go to road rage.

I have several other issues. But like Rachel would tell me, like I'd broken two computers in our time together out of like anger. And I even could be like I forgot passwords or something. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not a tough. Like you smashed? Yeah, I smashed.

Oh, I thought you hacked in and got like that. No, no. He got frustrated. It was like, wah. Old time he had. where you just physically break something to get into it. Yeah. And it was just because it's, I can't understand what's going wrong with something and I feel

useless. Yeah. It's like traffic. You don't have control over traffic. Yeah. You don't have control over technology. You don't understand what's going on. I know.

And I would just break a thing. She's like, go to Goodwill, get a stack of dishes, put them next to the computer. And you can break one of those every time you want to smash your computer. That's hilarious. Also, a Greek thing. I really think you might need to embrace this culture. I did grow up with Greeks and Italians. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. So I do have a little bit of the... There is a satisfaction of hearing something like... Shatter. Shatter like that. Yeah. Did you grow up with yelling? No, my parents didn't yell too much.

I mean, yelling as a form of conversation with a lot of the Greek and Italian kids, it was like louder households. Yeah. And ours could get loud in like a fun way, but not... Like nobody was like more of a, yeah, it wasn't like a scream at you if you're... Because my parents, it was scream at for anything. Joy, happiness, upset, just, you know, consequences.

It was just loud, loud, loud, loud all the time. Volume. Volume. Volume to dominate. Yeah. If I speak louder than you, then my thing will be what's hurt. But also like partying loud. Like just, it was just loudness.

Yeah. But the kids that grow up that way are able to cope with a lot of anger around them. Like, my, my daughter's roommate comes from this big, loud Italian family. And they all just yell shit at each other. And then no one's feelings get hurt. And when you grow up in so a place quiet, someone raises their voice. You're like, what did I do?

Yeah. I'm sorry. That's why I justify yelling at my kids. I love you. I love you too. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was. I mean, it's like the come home when the street lights are on kind of generation.

Yeah. It was also that park was really not close enough for my mom to yell. Yeah. But that wouldn't stop her. Right. Why does everybody have to know? Two miles away. Are you in your bathroom?

You're in your bathroom. So where can people stream your special? Oh, just on the old YouTube's. Nice. I just self-produced this one. Cool. Oh, great. Yeah, I mean, I had the last couple.

It looked great. 800-pound gorilla. Bobcat directed it. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I love the spotlight on the side. Yeah. You would kind of block,

intermittently block and not block. It was fun. They were like, oh, should we put a thing on that? And I was like, that kind of looks cool. It would look great.

I love that effect. We had a good crew. It was at Acme and in Minneapolis. Oh, that's Acme. Oh. And I didn't do there in a while in that places. That room's so good. That room's the best.

Yeah. So, yeah, I did that on YouTube. Oh, that's great. I think it's March. Yeah, I think it's March. I got to get that business part now.

Yeah, it's March sometime. We're going to put this out earlier. But we'll circle back and tell people about it for sure. I appreciate it. Really funny. You're always so funny. Oh, get out of here. Thanks for letting me hang out.

Yeah, this is so great. I'm so sorry about the bread. I'm going to correct that. I came here hungry, too. Oh, come on. We do have a pat of tone. We do have a pan of tone. We can crack open.

My buddy's family. family owned an Italian deli. So I know, like, I'm like, oh, I still can't. You like all the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. All this stuff. Yeah.

Love it. And you're touring, where can people follow you on all your things that you don't like to? Yeah. I get, I got a management whose job is to just cattle proud me and to believe it in myself. So they're doing a right job at that. So,

yeah, just Kyle Canaan on the socials. And then I use bands in town as far as. Oh, yeah. Getting, like, direct emails. Like,

that's my mailing list. Oh, not that people, want to follow you on another thing, but I use Banzetown. Bands and Towns great. So, well, awesome. Congratulations. Come back anytime.

Thanks, you guys. I promise bread next time. All right. I'll bring steak. Got it, Joe. You know, I was going to say. I wouldn't be rude. I'd have some say.