Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 217 - Jim Jefferies

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

Jim Jefferies joins the table to sing the praises of Aussie bread. He delves into his mom’s cooking and sounding like your parents. Jim talks Australian TV, where all swear words are allowed after 9pm. Jim and Tom talk ovations, bombing, and life touring the world. Jim shares the backstory behind changing his name when he became a stand up comedian and discusses all different kinds of sobriety. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Jim: Jefferies has performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Just for Laughs, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Reading and Leeds Festivals, and Glastonbury Festival. He has also performed routines on The World Stands Up, Comedy Blue and Edinburgh and Beyond for Comedy Central. Following the release of his Netflix special Freedumb in July 2016, he began The Unusual Punishment Tour with all-new material, and filmed his new special This Is Me Now at the Hammersmith Apollo in London in January 2018. On 17 December 2018, he completed his Night Talker Tour with the final performance in Melbourne. At the 2019 Just for Laughs festival, in Montreal, he was honored as Stand-up Comedian of the Year. April 2024 saw Jefferies start his Give 'Em What They Want tour in South Africa,[19] moving on to Australia in August. In September and October 2024, while Jefferies is in Canada, he will be joined by Jimmy Carr for what is being billed as The Charm Offensive Tour. About Tom: Tom Papa, a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry, has made significant strides in film, television, radio, podcasts, and live performances. Notably, he's a regular on "The Joe Rogan Experience" and various late-night TV shows. Papa's literary skills are evident in his books “We’re All In This Together” and "You’re Doing Great!: And Other Reasons To Stay Alive," a collection of essays, and "Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas," a comedic look at family life. His latest stand-up specials are “Tom Papa: What A Day!” and "Tom Papa: You’re Doing Great!" on Netflix. Beyond comedy, Papa's engagements extend to hosting "What A Joke With Papa And Fortune" on SiriusXM and appearing on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me." His love for baking led to hosting the Food Network series "Baked." As an actor, he's worked with notable figures like Rob Zombie and Steven Soderbergh and has appeared in several films and TV shows, including the HBO film "Behind the Candelabra." Additionally, Papa has contributed as a writer to projects like "Bee Movie" and various TV series. Residing in Los Angeles with his family, Papa continues to balance his professional life with personal interests like baking. Get in touch with or go see Tom live on stage! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa #TomPapa #breakingbreadwithTomPapa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Well, hopefully, you're not, you know, it hasn't done too much already. Right. Yeah. It may have been too late. It's breaking bread. So what's your complaint about the bread? I don't, I'm, I, I, I, I grew up in Australia where I believe has the best bread in the world. Really?

I truly, and not like, you can have good loaves of bread that someone bakes for you in America, that's those stuff. But just a standard, bog standard loaf of white, wonder white, whatever the equivalent there is. Yeah. Supermarkets. it. Fantastic. Really? Fantastic.

Yeah. And it's it, it mushes down as you bite into it. You can see the bite. American bread pops back up with its additives and sugar to come up. With its optimism in spring. But my wife started making bread like this because she's British and she has the same complaint. Now, so I moved to, I lived in Australia, obviously, and then I moved to Britain for eight or

ten years. The last two years, I was going back and forth here. and I was complaining about the British bread then as well and now I would kill for British bread because you're finding shit bread here it's just like you buy like a hot dog ban at like like Helford's and it's really unless you microwave it or steam it

it's I got these hot dog rolls in the supermarket and they're like Hawaiian they're like at the Hawaiian bun thing I was like oh this will be pretty good they've been in my bread drawer for I think two and a half months maybe three months. Still the same. Same. Like nothing's wrong with it.

There's no mold on it. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, it can't be good. This can't be good at all. It can't be good. But I baked that for you last night. Oh,

that's, well, I'm going to, bring it on home. I'm going to eat that. I love phone-cooked bread. Yeah. And I bought a bread maker,

but I don't know, I must be doing something wrong or whatever, but my wife, you can cook a loaf like this, but she just does the ball like that. And she has small ones. type of stuff. Nice.

And, yeah, that's, what type of bread is that? That's, uh, this is a sourdough country loaf. Country loaf. Country loaf. Country loaf. Because I know sourdough are better for you. Yeah. In this, yeah, sourdough, right, exactly.

Yeah. Breaks down its own sugars and stuff. So you can eat it and really not get too fat. Yeah. Uh, yeah. And this is whole wheat flour and a little all purpose and a touch of rye. And nothing better. Nothing better than cooked bread.

Yeah. It's really good stuff. And it makes your house smell nice. That's what I was thinking last night because I kind of screwed it up the timing of it. And I was like, oh, shit, I have to bake it or I'm never going to make the podcast. So I start the oven up at 10.30 and everyone's going to bed. And I got to wait for a half hour for it to heat up and then an hour of baking. So it's pretty late.

But the thing that kind of made me feel like this is okay is I know that bread smell will be lingering for when they wake up in the morning. They'll wake up hungry. and then there'll be nothing for them to eat. And they'll be like, don't touch those bread ads for Jeff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I understand that. They reckon that they try to sell houses with this stuff, don't they? Yeah, they can sell houses.

The smell of cookies or the smell of bread will sell houses. Yeah. Who cooks when you grew up? My mother was a, do you call it home economics here? Homemaker? Oh, yeah, homeck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so my mother was a home economics teacher.

Oh. But I don't know if the word irony is. should be used to, but ironically, she was not a very good cook, but she taught others to cook. But we used to get about, I always used to like it when there was once every sort of semester, the year seven, so the middle schoolers, baked lasagna. And there was trays of lasagna would come, all cooked by 13-year-olds, right? It's got to be messy. Yeah, yeah, but there'd be all these trays of kids who didn't take their lasagna home.

and mum would freeze them and we'd have like we'd be stockpiled with lasagna for that term. From 13 year old. Yeah, 13 year old kids cooking lasagna. That was my meal. Yeah, I was over the mood with that. It's pretty hard to screw that up, really. My mother had a lot of 70s recipes. There was, there was like tuna casserole, which just that mushy just tuna with a spoon.

And she, I don't know if this is something that other people, that she'd crunch up crisps, like chips, potato chips on top of it. Put it on top. Yeah, yeah. It's like, so there was a little bit of crunch to it. Yeah. But then it would go in the fridge and get served to us. Those potato chips would get very entrenched in the whole, whole tuninous of the whole thing. A little gummy chips.

What else did she make? But my mother would always make food and say like this. She goes, I'm going to make my famous. It was always her famous. You're like, who is this famous? And then I found myself doing this the other day. Like, I make sausage rolls because I can't buy them here in America. I make my, I've, you know, mother the necessity or whatever the saying is.

So it's, you make sausage meat, wrap it in pastry, put it in the oven. It's poor man's beef Wellington, basically, right? But it's the thing that you would eat instead of a hot dog in Australia. You'd eat at sporting events. How big is it? Like how big is? Oh, it can be as long as you want. Like, you know, party ones that are like that.

But the standard ones about that. Okay. Less than a foot, but, you know, like it. And so, so a sausage roll and you have it with tomato ketchup. Just have a ketchup. And it's like, so meat pies and sausage rolls are the two main dishes of Australia. Crumbled up sausage or like a sausage encased? No, no, no, no.

Like you make them. So I used to do half pork. I don't talk anymore. I used to do half pork, half beef, breadcrumbs, egg, Worcestershire sauce, maybe some purerate up carrots and stuff in there to give it a bit more moisture and stuff like that. Then you wrap it in the pastry. So it's sausage meat that I've made, you know, because there's breadcrumbs and stuff in there's filler. Yeah.

right, it wouldn't be good with straight up just meat through it. It'd be too much of a bite. What's the point? Yeah, but it's, but that's like... That sounds amazing. Yeah, you can put anything in there. A lot of people do like even, you know, it's not too far from like Spanacopoda, like to making, you know, but this would be a puff pastry, not a, not a filo pastry, like

a Spanacopada, you know? Oh man, that sounds really good. And so I make that myself. And this, what were you saying? Well, this is the thing because I make them because I like them. Right. And then there's a couple of my mates who come over, other comics who enjoy him. But my wife doesn't dig him and my kid doesn't, my, oh, the two-year-old somewhat likes them.

But I was making the other day and I heard myself say, I'm going to make my famous. And it's like, it's only famous to me. Like, I'm sure my mother liked their own cooking. Right. But it's what I'm known for. It's like whether or not you like it is not the point. I do a good meatball, but that's basically my sausage roll meat, but I've made them round. And the family seems to buy that

But the rest of my family aren't very pastry folks My wife is a She's a vegan who relapses a lot She'll hate that I say that For the most part she's good But every now and again What is she relapse with? Like what's her weakness?

Well the stupid thing is I'll make something Like the spaghetti and meatballs And she won't eat the meatballs Oh no, no, I'm vegan She'll just have the sauce Oh no, I can't eat the thing And then if, and then I'll just, I have to do play the game. You sure you don't want me?

No, I don't want me. Don't want me. Okay, well, I'm throwing these away. These are going in the bin. They wouldn't. They go in the food video. Yeah. These are going in the bin.

Oh, well, if they're going to go in the bin, I don't like, wait. So all she does is eat like meat like an hour after the rest of us. Eat meat. So when we eat meat, then she eats it an hour later cold. Guilty with her hands real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you'll find it. You'll go to the bar.

after him you come back and it would be like catching a guy with porn. Right. You know. Go real fast. Filled with shame. And back when I was drinking and when she was drink, I once caught her eating like a slider at a party and she was doing it like behind a column. Yeah. But for the most part, she's 95% vegan.

Yeah. My girls, I have two daughters and my wife. wife and they're all up until recently vegetarians, maybe pescatarians. My wife will eat fish once in a while. But there's so many dishes, like real meat dishes, that it's, it takes a little of the joy away when you're making it and not everyone's enjoying it. Yes, yes, yes. Like I have these metal tongs for the grill. Yeah, yeah.

And I open it up and I go, just because I know the dogs are going to come. I'm running. At least someone's happy. It's on. He's doing it. We're going to the grill. We're going to the grill. And it really makes me happy.

Then at least someone's happy about it. Yeah, my wife would be she eats, she's vegan and then she does eat sushi in a high-end sushi restaurant. Okay. Yeah. So she's fancy sushi. Fancy. Pescatarian. But it's like, so we can go out to sushi restaurants, which is good.

But then there was that documentary like about the fishing sea scape or. something. There was one about how they, how cruel the fishing industry is. Oh, yeah. And I said to my wife, I said, we'll get a divorce if you watch it. Like we can't, you can't watch that because that's the sushi restaurants is the thing we've got. Yeah, that's all we got.

You take that away. I'm not going to your fucking vegan restaurants. Those documentaries are the worst. Well, there are always everything's the end of the world. Everything's, it's, it's kind of, we're all dying. I know. It's best not to see that. I like to eat.

Is this a, like, just strictly a food-based podcast. No, but I... Well, that's where we start. I like to eat grass-fed meat. Yeah. Just because I'm not... I believe in a food chain.

I believe that there's people above us. There's people above me. Right. Lines and stuff like that. I'm not... Yeah. There's people above me. If I'm hanging out in the wrong area.

Right. Right. I've been on safari. They make you stay in the truck. You're right. They don't let you go out and wander, because I'm low on the food. Jane. That's right. But I don't agree with, I don't agree with the animals being treated like shit. You know what I mean?

Yeah. If possible, I want the animal to be treated well. A hundred percent. And there's another argument, the animal that treated like shit probably likes dying. Right. It's probably the sweet release. Right? Taking some chicken who's having a good time out on the field.

Yeah, that steroid bound one where it's bloody legs are broken. It's just, ah, that one wants to be made into Chick-fil-A. Take me. Yeah, yeah, but the one that I've got is like, well, life's good. But my wife won't wear leather and stuff like that, and I understand the leather. But then she wouldn't wear sheepskin. She'll wool. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program.

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Australia. Australian's wool is the best in the wall. It's one of our top five exports from the whole country. Really? Yeah, yeah. There was an old saying that Australia's economy rides on the sheep's back. Uh-huh. Right?

Yeah. And so I... It's in the blood. Yeah. So I used to, my wife was like, oh, she saw some Peter video of, like, a fucking sheep with, like, blood coming out the side of its head. And, like, this sheep is just, and it's like, ah, it's just being shit. And I'm like, I can find you fucking haircuts that have gone wrong.

Right. I sat and watched hours of sheep being sheared. I used to like it when I was a kid because, like, my cousin's family had a whole sheep station. And they'd put these real men. Not like us. Man. As with hard hands. Yeah, men with opinions and things.

That come from somewhere. And rules. They live by rules. And it's backbreaking work. It literally is because it's, they have to bend. Like, they've got the sheep between their legs. They're not bending by the knee. They're bending from the hip and they've got clippers and they're,

and then when they finish with that sheep, they're standing near a hole with a wooden ramp down it where they just throw the sheep out from their legs. And the sheep goes, bum, bum, bum, bum. And then it goes into a different paddock. And there's two parties. And there's the paddock of the sheep's covered in wool. And there's the paddock of the shorn sheep.

And the shorn sheep are the happier of the two. They are like for this all it's cruel to. They are jumping around. They're frolicking. Why? Because they're the lighter. Australia's fucking hot. And they had a sweater on.

Right? Yeah. And you've just taken it off. They're like, oh, I can breathe. And have you ever seen a sheep that hasn't. being sheared can get like those ones there's always one in New Zealand that's escaped. And it's

gone up to the top of Mount Mordor by itself. And it becomes like the size of an elephant. It's just a raster sheep. Yeah, yeah. It's just all around. And then I said to my wife, I said, I had plant Patioca, here's the picture of a sheep that hasn't been shared. And she goes, but that's because

we engineered them to be this way. So it's our fault. And I'm like, but we're here now. Yeah. We're here. And our fault, they've been making this service for a long time. We really had very little to do with it. Yeah, yeah, no, no. They love being, I don't know where they're indigenous. Where a sheep indigenous from?

It'd be a cold place probably. Why did they, why did they take to Australia and New Zealand so much? Yeah, good question. Why did that become their whole? No, you've winter, right? Yeah, but it's only part of the year. Right. You know what I mean?

And our winter is, like I would say, that an Australian Sydney winter is harder than an LA winter. It gets colder than L.A. And I would say it's harder than a winter in England. I lived in England. Oh, really? Well, only because of what they've built, right? So the houses in Australia are meant to not keep the heat in

because it's a fucking hot country. Right. Right. And the winters are about the real cold bits like three weeks. Right. They're real cold bits like three weeks. So my parents had one bar heater, you know, like with those three strips. Electric heater.

Yeah, electric heater. Yeah. In the corner of one room. Yeah. Right. We didn't live in a big house, but a living room. I remember getting out of the shower and it was so freezing and then just running as a kid and just drying my balls off in front of this one thing that was in the, you know, the corner of the living.

And then I remember waking up and seeing my breath because my bedroom wasn't heated either. Right. We did the electric blanket. The electric blanket. You ever have an electric blanket? People still have electric blankets? I don't think so. People probably caught fire. That was the thing. You could feel the cords. It was it was a coil of like power cords that zigzag down that you laid on this lumpy thing but fuck your bed was hot. With fabric around it. Yeah, fabric around it. With flammable fabric. And you put it under the fitted cheese. So it wasn't, didn't look bad. And then your mom with my mom on a good day with two. Turn your electric blanket on, and if you had new flannelette pajamas,

you'd put them in there so they were toasty, ready to go. Oh, that's a good line. So, yeah, that's when she went out of way after you're eating tuna with fucking crisps on top. So, so, what was like, so, but in England, you, I didn't, I never owned a big jacket in Australia. But in England, I owned a beanie and a big jacket and a scarf. And I was, every time I got fat, I was like happy, winter's coming. In Australia, looking fat with such a ghastly. But in England, you could really lean into it like you're a distinguished person.

And also, you look at like when it hits, I still deal in Celsius. I've lived here for 15 years. I still deal in Celsius. Because it's the right way. Because it's, all you need to know is that's what the scientists use. Right, exactly. The scientists use it. Zero is freezing.

Yeah. A hundred is boiling. It makes perfect sense. Which is weird because Fahrenheit definitely came from England. I mean, we didn't grow it here. Yeah, they hadn't mastered it. And then they figured it up and cleaned it up. Zero should be freezing.

A hundred should be boiling. Right. But they'd already started here. They meet it something, whatever, they meet it like minus 20 something. There's a meeting point where it's like, it's the same number. Right. But what is like freezing? It's like 30 something or 32.

32. Yeah. Right. So anyway, so in Britain. Yeah. You haven't even talked yet. I've just, I've got to show. So in Britain, when it hits 30, which is like 90 degrees.

Yeah. People are dying in the UK. It happens about once every four years. They have a heat wave in London. And watch the news reports when these happen, English heat waves. And they're all just sitting out in the park. They've got like a little towel that they've wet, that they've made wet, they've just put on top of their head.

And there's old people. because the houses don't have any air conditioning and they're fucking the old if you want to call some people in Scotland just make it about 85 degrees you'll lose a lot of Scottish people it really is bizarre I mean you tour a ton it is really weird that everywhere you go and I want to turn this into a documentary of our own but whatever the weather was it is no longer yes right wherever you go if it was cold now it's hot If it was hot now, it's cold. Like, it's, everything is in flux. Well, there is a theory behind where we're booked and why.

Like in Canada, you sell more tickets in the winter. Right. I've never seen Canada look nice. I tour it every year. The only time is when I go to Montreal and that's in the summer. Right. When they have the festival in the summer. And then, like, you can see beautiful things and, like,

but you go to Sudbury or Kitchener in the winter. It's like frozen. lakes and shit. And it's like, they want to see entertainment. They want to come into us. I'm about to tour a stay or I tour Australia about once, almost once a year. I'm always there in July, which is our winter. Your winter.

I know. I was looking at that. I'm always leaving and it's like, oh, these Australians will be happy for me to come. Because it's hit 60. And people are freaking out. I'll admit to you, I've never been to Australia. Well, why don't you go? It's a, it's a, it's a, uh, I'd like to go.

It's got some comedy. I just did a... I'll tell you what I'll do for you next time, if the show goes well. I've got a TV show. It doesn't pay you very well. I will say that. But if you do well on it, you'll be able to tour Australia all the time because Jim Jeffries and Friends is coming out on network TV.

Oh, wow. And I got a few people in. But the thing is, it's hard to convince people to travel all that way for not that much... Because Australia, you've got to remember Australia is 22 million people. Yeah. So it's like doing it. I have a TV show in Ohio. Right.

It's the equivalent of saying that. Yeah. For ratings. Sure, I get you. And so the money's not the same. You can't because it's a population thing. You don't have to sell any of this to me. I would go.

I would do it. But if you do the show, you'd be able to tour. Right, which would be great. Which I tried to convince people. And it's like you'd be able to do some theaters and that. Is it like a late night show? Like a Colbert kind of a show? No, no, no.

Straight up. Stand up. Oh, all stand up. Yeah, just everyone, everyone doing eight minutes. Oh. And I presented, I'd do 10 minutes at the top. Right. Has it aired you.

I'm saying when we get season two. I'm about to go home and look at the edit of episode three tonight, right? So we'll see how it goes. What comics did the first one? From America. Geez, who did it from it? We had a whole lot of British people. How many comics?

25, six episodes. Six episodes. Six episodes. That's great. And that will air in prime time. That'll, well, I'm notoriously say cunt a lot, right? And so I was surprised as well when, and this is network TV. This is network TV.

Proper. Channel 7. We really have four channels in Australia, right? And we only had four channels in Australia, but now you have like seven plus. And there's that. And we have all the streamers, of course. And then there's cable on top. But it used to be just four channels going up.

So there's the three channels, seven, nine and ten. and then there's channel 2, which is our equivalent of the BBC, which is government funded, which everyone gets for free. And it's just, yeah, but we don't have to pay a TV license like the British people. You heard about that? The British people pay a licence to have a TV. No bullshit. For real?

It's not nothing. It's like 100 quid. Really? Yeah, it's like 100 pounds. Just to have the TV? Because that's what pays for the BBC. Oh. And so you get BBC one, BBC two, seven BBC channels.

It's government funded. It's meant to be impartial when it comes to the news. there's no like Fox or CNN sort of diversity. And, you know, I, after living there, I do think it's quite a good thing. Yeah. But the BBC, they don't take a lot of risks, really. Like, they never have me on the telly. You know what I mean?

Right. Because it's the people are paying for it. Yeah. Grandma didn't pay for you. Grandma doesn't want your attitude. So, so Channel 7, so I was like being living in America. I've done TV here and I tell us stuff. And I said, I don't think my stand up, you know, I've been on a new.

Netflix and HBO and I said, I don't think me stand up will be able to play on network TV. And they go, why not? And I said, well, I swear so much. I say, cut all the time. And they go, but we'll put it on after nine. And then I forgot that Australia, when it comes to swearing and tits, we're very good. We have no problem. We have a consensus as a country.

Have you ever, if you ever go to Australia and you watch Hell's Kitchen, right, Gordon around, Jamesy show. Yeah. Without, and we don't have it with the swearing. We have it with the swearing. No bleeps. I know. That show's fucking jarring.

Oh, really? After your condition to watch it in America, where he's like, you bleeping donkey, yeah, get the bleep out of here, the bleep this. As soon as he's pointing at someone going, you fucking donkey, you fuck this like that, you're like, oh, this is abusive. He's mean. He's mean. He's mean.

We thought he was, like, delightful in using little different words because the bleeps is they go away for you. You're not translating. Yeah, yeah, you're not translating. Oh, that's Gordon being Gordon. He's calling people a cunt on fucking TV, telling them to go fuck themselves. It's quite, I always think that with jobs. Yeah.

So you've got, you've got, you've got jobs that, okay, so anytime I've worked in TV, it's a workplace where you can get in trouble for speaking harshly to people. That's why I don't know what happened with Ellen or anything like that. But I've worked in TV. enough to know that there's always, in any job, 10% of the population of your workforce is probably unhappy or thinks they're not being appreciated enough or whatever. So I would have to see it before she's a terrible person.

And then Fallon had a little bit of he's hard to work. And it's like, anybody who's in those jobs. You're trying to make this fucking TV show work. Every day. Every day. Your name's in the thing. Exactly. You've got to make it work.

Exactly. It's going to get weird. No one cares more than that person. Yes. Right. So I don't know what happened and I can't speak to it or anything like that, but I'd have to fucking see it. I'd have to see it.

Right. But there's certain jobs in this world. Yeah. And it feels like chef's one. Uh-huh. Where if you went to like an HR and go, he called me a fucking idiot. Well, you're a chef. Right.

This seems to be the problem. Yeah, it's about right. Every cooking show is someone swearing in another person and throwing things at him. Also, sports the same. Sport is like what happened at work today? Oh, I got angry and punched a co-worker. What's happened?

I can't got to work for two days. Yeah. Yeah, these monsters. So you're going to put that on, so after nine they can run the whole thing unedited. It's pretty great. Have they done that before? They have.

Well, they've done, the Melbourne Comedy Festival always has a show on a different channel. and they've had other stand-up shows. We had our versions of, you know, late-night shows, but they can never really have a late-night show in Australia that runs five nights a week. There's just not enough people to interview. Right.

You know, and now it's different. Maybe they could now because they could zoom in people and stuff like that. But, like, you know, if Tom Cruise was coming to open a movie, he would do our thing, but the show would be on a Thursday night or a Friday night. But you couldn't do it every week because, we've got like three TV shows running at a time that we're producing you know like what are you going to do right yeah um so you'd have people coming in and out but i used to like to watch that was i wanted to be a stand-up when i was like 10 and the and and and you know i i hate to

sound like i'm like really old but but like you can't imagine a time when we didn't have we didn't have any HBO specials no they didn't come to a strait. and be put on a strait. We didn't have cable TV. Right. We had those four channels. Yeah. And we, so they never went.

And here's an hour. Yeah. Of whatever, you know, whatever comic. Yeah. Just George Carlin. Here's George Carlin. Yeah. George Carlin, to me, the first time I knew of George Carlin was Bill and Ted's

excellent adventure. So what, when you were, you other than wanted to be a comic? We would get, we would get a comic from overseas would come on a late night show for five minutes. Okay. There was another TV show that just had a Australian comic song, which was on the ABC, which was the government funded thing, and that was on Saturday night. It was called the big gig.

And the big gig would be a band, then a comic, and then a band, and a comic, and a band. And I used to have to sit through the music, like, I remember my friends were all like, banned, right? And so that was how I spent my Saturday night. And so you get like five local people doing five minutes each. And what would happen is you'd get the rotation. You'd see the same person, maybe. maybe four times in a season.

So you get like 20 minutes of that person over the course of the season. And then, but then something magical happened. And it was, it was, Eddie Murphy's Delirious. Uh-huh. It was a cinematic release.

Yeah. It was released in the movies, not on TV. That's right. I mean, there was videos. Right. Now,

of course, we probably had comedy albums, but none that my parents bought. No. Right? But at the video store, there was, there was a cassette that you could rent.

Of delirious. And lucky for me, I had a brother who was seven, almost eight years older than me. So he settled it in. So he was hooking the 10-year-old up. Isn't that amazing? The impact of delirious? Huge. My mother said, I wasn't allowed to watch it.

I could hear my brother's in there laughing or anything. And then I would wait to, I would literally, like, wait until mom was in the kitchen. I'm not talking out of the house. And I'd put in the play and turn it down really low. and the speaker was next to the TV. And I would listen right up against it because it was just, there was a man and he's from the movies and he's going to swear loads. Ralph.

Ralphie boy. That was such a big thing. And then I remember Raw Carolina as well, but it was like, but like, but the impact of delirious. For our generation was just, kids were just doing it for a whole summer. One of my specials, I wear a leather jacket without a shirt, and I leave it at the same button level. And it's like, I just wanted to feel like Eddie Murphy, like wearing leather.

And that was fucking 20, 30 years later. My brain was like, I've got to do that. Right, exactly. I know. I was thinking I'm doing a special soon. I want to put in Soul Man by the Blues Brothers just as a little nod because that was the same time. Yes.

The Balushi. Yes. It was just like, I just want to put a little hint of Belushi. Well, that's the thing is I wish I had Saturday Live growing up. Yeah. We got the movies. I've seen the Blues Brothers, the Blues Brothers on video.

I had no idea that was from Saturday Night. And I'm talking right up to Waynesworld. Wow. I didn't know that Waynes World was a sketch. Wainswell was just a movie that came out. Right. You had no idea that, yeah, you weren't getting it weekly.

Yeah, yeah. And now, and see, this is why I believe the internet has made the world both awesome and shit at the same time and equal measures and kids are getting bullied and, you know, you know, as a comic you fucking can't Google yourself. You're going to read terrible, fucking things that will ruin your day.

Right. But also, it's an easier way to sell tickets because people can see you. But then also, God, I have to fucking post something. I got to put up it. And so it used to be, I used to like comedy when I was just drunk the whole time and doing 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And people went, oh, where are you next? And then more people would show up.

I know. I know. But, but, um, the internet's made the world very small. So this idea of, of America being this, um, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, place of wonder. Yeah, what's going on over there. Yeah, we can see everything you're seeing now. Yeah.

And so it feels like Australians and British people and American people and basically everybody is culturally getting closer and closer and closer and closer and closer. To the extent that Netflix now, I used to tour, I've been touring Asia for 20 years, right? For the first decade of me touring Asia, I used to go over there. and do gigs for white businessmen who lived out there who were starved for English-speaking entertainment. Right. Right?

Yeah. Sets. And they're selling dodgy DVDs and stuff. That was their whole television, right? Yeah. And now in Netflix, you can go to a Japan like that. Right. Right.

And you'll get a room full of Japanese people. And they're all the ones who are really good at speaking English. Right. Right? The other ones that aren't outside. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And so you're like, oh, wow. Now I'm gigging in Korea. and it's like and it's all it was never all Asian people and they all know you they all know the special so the idea of conquering a country anymore is sort of

it's not a real thing anymore it sounds like a good time for me to start I just been knocking around the States for so long well no but that's the thing is these these younger comics they're bloody got it made in the shade they do with it with now we're just like I put a clip up and the whole world knows who I am

yeah I used to remember even when I was coming here yeah Why are you sending me back to Kansas? Because your ticket sales were good, and you're about to conquer that market. All right. Right, exactly. You were a whole trip, another year?

Like, it took so much. And you're still coming and do radio. Yeah, yeah. You came in and did radio and that time. A lot, I lot. Is this going to be the same tour when you do Australia? Is this the same as with Jimmy Carr? Well, no, so the one I do myself, I'll be doing like, you know, an hour.

My show is only an hour and a half with an over. opening act the whole thing takes two hours you know yeah um but jimmy car we're going to do an hour each yeah keep it to two hours and then we're planning on doing like a little you know q and a thing at the end together what a great show we're going to do it in the round which jimmy didn't know about but jimmy being jimmy's very funny i rang him up and i said we're doing in the round he goes oh i've never done the round before i have to work on my ass so he's off doing squats That's a good combination. I like that show.

That's a good show. The good thing about me, me and Jimmy and known each other for a very long time. We're old mates. And I think if you like grubby comedy, we're going to deliver on that. But the cool thing is we're completely two different styles.

Yeah, exactly. So you're going to get a bit of ying and yaying of the same theme. Right. Yeah. That's perfect. You know what I mean? So it'll be your type of thing,

just deliver differently. Yeah. Which is just a good thing to bring. break it up and you can actually sustain two hours of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you don't like one of us, you'll like the other one because if we were the same, you might not like both of us. I think we're going to like both.

Where are you doing these shows? We're doing them across Canada. Okay, so I'll be honest with you why we chose Canada is, you know, he sells better than me in the UK and I sell slightly better in most American market. And then we both sort of sell different numbers in Australia. But we sell exactly the same in Canada. Oh, really? Right?

Yeah. Right? So it's great. 50-50. Let's go do this. Double it up. And I want to catch some of your fans and you can catch some of my fans and hopefully we'll get some crossover.

Yeah, that's great. And Jimmy normally doesn't even work with like an opening act or anything like that. And so it'll be fun to watch. Yeah. Okay, so my wardrobe on the road, and I've tried suits and things and that and that and the other. It's always been leather jacket. The way I decide how I dress on stage is what can I shove in a bag without any care that when put on my body will look okay. T-shirts, Hawaiian shirts, silk Hawaiian shirts, just as soon as you put them on, bunk.

Suit jackets, you hang them up while you're showering. But Jimmy can't. Look at his outfit. That guy must be fucking ironing all afternoon. I know. We had him on the podcast. All I wanted to talk about is, how do you do it? How big of a trunk?

I think he has, I think he suits a tailored because he always looks immaculate. He's the most put-together human being in the world. So it's like, it's going to be a very shambolic bloke and a very well put together. I wanted to call the show pros and cons. Because like, the Australian convict thing, but I thought it was too long a walk to figure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would probably work in Britain pros and cons. Yeah.

It would be a good... What are you doing this one? This is going to be later in the year after the Australia. No, it's, yeah, after Australia, August, late, I think it begins late August, early September. Oh, okay. So if you're listening, yeah, if you go into Jim Jeffries.com, and I'm sure Jimmy has it up on his side as well,

but the tickets all work the same. Oh, that's great. But that's, you know, and I'm doing other, I'll plug me other gigs. I've just announced a whole lot of gigs in America. I'm even doing a couple of gigs coming up, which I would like to get the dates for because they've just been announced and with Dan Soder and Mark Norman.

Oh, that's great. So like a three headline thing just in two cities. Oh, nice. We're doing that just something and it's fun. Yeah, that's great. And it's weird because you spend all these years just working by yourself, working by yourself, working by yourself. And then the clubs, I found it quite hard to make friends.

when I first moved to America. Uh-huh. Because all my friends were in Britain, because all your friends and mostly the guys and girls that you start out with, there's a camaraderie in the open mic circuit. Yeah. And then there's a camaraderie in the club circuit? Yeah. And there's no camaraderie in the theatre circuit.

Now you're on your own. And that's where you want to get to. Yeah. But where's the hang? Yeah, I know. You're all by yourself. When you said that Jimmy doesn't work with an opener, I, uh, I was, I did a, couple gigs recently with no opener.

And it's kind of cool. Like you just come out on stage and it's like an evening with and you'd get to just kind of, they're excited. They get to see you right off. It's great. But it's kind of lonely. It's kind of just to have, you're just knocking around city to city, not talking all day. Yeah.

I think I could do it now that I don't drink. But when I used to drink, it's like that was, there was. was a certain social element after the show where you go meet people or whatever, you know, but that was when I always got in trouble. Yeah. I was always in trouble for something stupid I said. Right. You seem very healthy.

I have to say, Jim, you look, you look like you're in really healthy shape. Yeah, not drinking, not smoking. And that's all you really did. You feel better? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, substantially. Yeah.

And then I lost a little bit. of weight. I did a movie and I lost a little bit of weight for that. Oh, was that the one with Jordan? Yeah. Jordan Peel? Yeah. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. That's amazing. That's a good company to be in. My bit's done. Yeah. It's not out over like another year. It comes out in another year. So I don't, I'll see it. But it's the first time I've done a non-comedy. Uh-huh. You've been in drama. You have been in drama. Yeah. What was the one with Matt Damon? The informant. Informant.

Yeah, you've done proper, proper drama. This is like a horror. Yeah. But it's very cool because I was thinking about it when I was with Matt and a couple times, and it's a Soderberg, Stephen Soderberg making the films, you know when you walk in, you don't know what it's going to be. Like, you don't know what this is going to be for another year. You know with Sotaburg or Jordan Peele, like it's going to be cool.

Yeah, it's going to be cool. It's not going to be shit. No, no, I know for a fact you're going to be. I know this is a good movie. Yeah. But this is the thing. So when you do comedy and they go cut, and then someone will laugh and inevitably someone's very funny.

Yeah. Very funny. And then in drama they go like this, cut. Moving on. And as a needy comic, you go like this. Where's my instant praise? Yeah, right. Exactly.

You're all going to say anything? Yeah. And you do the false modesty, you try and come up from the other side. I don't think it was really that good. That's not like just almost what I did. That's word perfect. Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, I don't know if we got that. Then let me ask you this. In stand-up, you go play, you know, you're a great comic. You've been doing it for a long time. You go on stage and your fans. And they all stand up at the end. and they love you and you had a really good set.

How long... I feel nothing. How long does that last? How long does that good feeling less? Okay, so it's... You're walking off the stage. I've never been a heroin addict, but I'll liken it to other drugs, I guess, right?

But when you take drugs, the first high is amazing. And the come down is terrible. And then over time you have to take more drugs to get to there. And then eventually, that and then you're just doing it to feel normal and the lows that like. So going back to the first two, three years I did stand up.

Yeah. I remember having deaths and I had deaths. I was, you know, I had deaths. And I remember laying in bed for two days after, not getting out of bed. I couldn't get out of bed. You know, the depression was that deep. Yeah. Like just hating myself.

And then I also remember crushing. and I was looking back on it, a complete wanker afterwards. Yeah, you see, yeah, no, I kept them telling people. Yeah, oh, fucking rip the roof off it. Yeah, yeah. The hot crowd, hot crowd. And then just standing around the club smiling, waiting for people to compliment me.

You know what I mean? And so that became the same as a drug. Now I need a standing ovation to feel normal. I know. And you're better than you've ever been. Yeah, yeah. Like you're really at the top of your skill. Like all of that stuff is you couldn't be better.

Yeah, yeah. But that thing is really, it's, it kind of, I'm playing around within my head recently. It really is the thing you shouldn't be chasing. Yeah, yeah. It really is just getting as good as you can be. Yeah, and you get off stage. You're in the,

wife and she how was the show oh a good crowd yeah and then you chat about something else a hundred percent right where where i used to go and then this joke fucking crushing that new bit that new bit i still do that with my comedian friends though there's everyone has that comedian friends yeah that you ring up to try out a new bit or to commiserate everyone we all love calling each other up when someone's you had a bad deal when we were yeah what happened what happened oh then this is it's like and there's nothing better than like a death of a corporate oh the best The best. Yeah, you're like, oh, you hear Amos had a bad corporate?

He's going to call me. Yeah, I know exactly. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and county. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rbc trainingground.ca. Yeah, I know in a bad corporate on my way, like down the hallway of the nice hotel back to

in my big suite that they've arranged for me. I know on my way down exactly who I'm calling. And I know it's like a gift. They're going to enjoy it so much. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to enjoy your bombing so much. You can make another comics day. And also, they'll have stories that will cheer you up.

Oh, I've been there. Yeah. Oh, this one time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, no one calls your best comedy friend to say, wow, was I good last night? No one's interested. In the first few years, you can do it.

Yeah. With another person who's starting as well. Yeah, who's like, you've done this for the first time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a heckle put down. It came to me. Just came to me. Because I've studied not like the, there's a thing that in comedy at the moment.

And look, I'm not shitting on anyone who does this. Yeah. It's just not for me. But there's a lot of, there's, TikTok idea of comedian destroys Hekler. You've seen this. Destroyes Hekler.

And so a lot of people are filming their sets so they can show the crowd work later. And sometimes I watch it and I think it's pretty par for the course, what they just said then. Like literally, if you do this every single day, if you're doing, and back in the day, 300 gigs a year,

doubling up on Fridays and Saturday. If you're doing 300 shows a year, yeah. This is second nature. Someone yells out, and it's not even a prepared line. You just know how to, like, the crowd appreciate speed. Yeah, right, exactly. Quick rhythm.

I just, as fast as whatever comes in a, Blunk, off we go, right? Hey, you did that fast. And now people are showing that back like comedian, and you're like, we literally can all do it. I know. It's not that that comedian's special. Yeah. Anyone who's been doing this for more than five years.

Yeah. Can do that. Here's the upsetting part, though. You go out and you do these shows, and once in a while, even in a theater, you do a little crowd work. You know, something happens, and just in the moment, you don't want to be locked in. Yeah. And you do that, and you have this hour, 10 minutes or whatever of crafted, beautiful lines

and great stuff that you've been working on and really wanted to talk about, and you come out after, and you're on your way out, and people meet you in the lobby. How about the spaghetti guy? Oh, man. It's all anybody talks about. That's the problem as well. The reason those clips do well is because the audience loves it. They love it.

It seems like a magic trick. Yeah, it seems like... Right? It seems like, how did you do that? The other stuff I know you were telling jokes. But with the spaghetti guy. I'm going to tell everyone the secret on how to do that. Here's the secret.

You know when you're at a party and someone says something stupid and you have a quick thought, but you say, I better not say that because I'll get punched in the face. We have a stage and distance. And security. Insecurity. So think of every time you go, I don't say that.

And I do that at parties myself. I'm not going to punch the face. Don't say that. So that's the only difference. I think it's... And there's nothing... Nothing was not... This is the spaghetti guy,

but the spaghetti guy who's loving it. Who he's done it. And he's like, yes. Right, exactly. It's all I wanted was to get a bit of this. Yeah.

Now I'm the same as that guy. But then you have the bit of this with that person. Yeah. And then every now and again, you strike a nerve. And then it goes from, and I'm like, we're doing what you wanted me to do. We're together. Yeah, yeah. How, in your last special, you talked about how you shifted to weed.

Yeah. And how is that, are you still doing it? I am still doing it. I do it about four times a week. But it's funny because you forget that you can travel. places. So I put this jacket on. Uh-huh. And I think I'd travel to another country in this jacket. And then

I reached in the pocket, I'm like, oh, I go, right? I'm not getting high today. But I'm it's everywhere. I have, I have 80 milligrams. I have 80 milligrams of THC there, man. I have enough to get fucked up in my pocket. And I, and I don't know.

Tablets. You like tablets. Well, sometimes like the gummies or whatever. like that, but they're just, they're an easier thing. Also, I have children, so I try not to make my weed look like candy. Right. Right. Yeah. And so this is, my two-year-old's not seeing this.

Ah, padadol. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's smart. And so, so it's just an essential, but an extra strength tablet. And I have no idea how long this has been in my jacket. It's no idea. I've traveled up and down.

I've been to Australia and backwards to league. I've been through customs. No idea. Check your pockets, kids. Hopefully I wasn't in Singapore. So on a normal day, if you have a spot that night,

if you're in town. I don't see you do many spots in town. I do every now and again. I don't, I have young kids and I like to be home. When I'm home, I like to be home. Yeah, I get it.

And I, I, I gig enough. I go on like long tours. Like I do tours that are like two months where I go across Europe and then I'm gigging every day. And then I come home and people are like, you want to come down to the improv for, you know, whatever. Yeah, to do 10 minutes. And I'm like, hey, I live in the valley. I've got to drive over the hill.

But then, you know, and also this thing they try to sell you in L.A. It's a wonderful room to try out some new material. No, it's not. There is no such thing. I know a room in Kansas where there's not. no one from the industry. Right. They could decide I'm shit.

Who's not going to say, what happened to Jeff? Yeah, here there might be a... Well, it's funny thing is because Jeffrey, Jeffrey's my real name, so I must look like a Jeff. You're Jeff with a G, right? Jeffrey with a G. Yeah. Jeffrey Nugent and my first time I went on stage, they announced me, is Godfrey Nugged. You should have kept it.

Nugged? You should have captained. Godfrey. And they're like Americans So Jeffreys, the English spelling is with a G Right You have Geoffrey the draft Who spells it with a G

Right The Toys Rous mascot Spells it with a G And then there's There's a restaurant in Malibu Yeah Which is Geoffrey was with the G That's right

And but they call it Geoffreys Geoffrey's yeah Yeah and that that King Geoffrey Of the fucking Game of Thrones Is made Jeffries with the G's lives hell because everyone calls me Joffrey, like a customs Joffrey, and I'm like, no. Do people still call you in your regular life? My mother did, and now she's dead, so that's not as much.

My father still does, one brother does, one brother doesn't. And my wife calls me Jeff. Everybody else calls me Jeff. I don't respond to Jeffrey if I hear it, really. And it's like, it was one of those things that, you know, what was like 20 years old. Yeah. And I thought, show business. And then it was like, I changed it for one show to Jeffrey James, which is my middle name.

And then it was like, G. And just look, Jeffrey James didn't look good. Right. And then I thought, oh, Jeffrey with a J. Uh-huh. And then I thought the alliteration. Yeah. I just don't think Jeffrey Nugent.

And also, the name Nugent is synonymous with Ted. Yeah. I'm the second most famous Nugent on Earth when you Google it. And I don't use the name. Right. Right. So that just shows where the name Nugent and how it's progressing in the world. Didn't really catch.

Yeah, it didn't catch. It's an Irish name. And so Nugent or whatever. No one can spell it. Any W people. It's too much. And so people on posters, it just became like a heart. And it's all right if you're famous with the name.

Yeah. But if you're not famous with the name, Nugend, Nugend, Nugent, Nugent. Yeah. It just wasn't a catchy name. But then you look back on names. Like inherently the name Seinfeld isn't a catchy name, but it's arguably the most famous name in comedy. Yeah.

And a sitcom called Seinfeld. Gallifanacus. Galaphanacus, but I can't picture a sitcom called Nugent. No, I can't either. Let me ask you this. When you change your name, because there is something very cool, musicians do it all the time,

it's almost like an alter ego kind of a thing. I was going to legally do it, and then over the years I enjoy having two names, because Jeffrey Nugent can do certain things for me, and Jim Jeffries can do certain things for me, because there's a lot of people that don't like Jim Jeffries, right? And that might put me behind the things that I've said. Right. And so I could go into certain, when I go down to the kid's school,

let's go back to the old name. Don't worry what I do for a living. Don't Google me. You're fine. That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Does it give you a little power? Like when you became Jim Jeffries, did it give you a little bit of a fresh start?

It gives you a little bit of a, yeah, I had a, what I consider to be a rough childhood. And I think I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to be a different person. Yeah, yeah. And I wanted to be, I wasn't cool at school. Uh-huh. And I wasn't, and then I think that Jim Jeffries was a cool guy, or at least in my head he was. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? And so I remember, like, my mother was a school teacher at my school, and that was a living hell. That was just a horrible thing because she was a 300-pound angry person. She was the teacher that everyone fucking, oh, fuck that woman like that. Oh, God. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're trying to, like, meet girls.

And my mom, my mom was a substitute teacher. But she was the number one substitute teacher they called. So inevitably, every. Every day there was a sick school teacher. Sure. Every day. Yeah. Occasionally you wouldn't get one.

So every day. So your day would be good. But you'd never know where she'd pop up. At least if she was a regular teacher, they wouldn't have put me in her classes. Right. That's a conflict that they wouldn't have put me in her classes. Oh, so you were in her. But you would just show up.

You'd be having a good day. You'd be talking to a girl. You'd show up at fucking wood shop. is a 300 pound woman with a hammer right and the girl the girl you're with is like oh boy

you're like I know it's my mom and so that was always that was always a time and also my mother was just a really fucking hard human being and so was you hard to you

oh hospitalized we're being hit yeah my mother by today's standards if social service I would

have grown up in the foster care system. Really? If they found out, yeah. Really young? Oh, yeah. And so I can't understand, because I always thought that all parents sort of hit their kids. And I know it was more prevalent in the 70s and 80s, but I look at my kids now. How did she flog a five-year-old?

Yeah. It's mind-blowing, right? How did she do it? I look at my two-year-old now. I can't, she would, at that age, backhand me across the room, across the face, bang. Like that at two, three years old, right? And I look at my kid now, and I'm like,

like he's breaking things. Yeah. He's two. He just broke that vase. Right. I'm going to have to move on. Right. Exactly.

I'm going to have to move on. And I've got a terrible temper to this day. You know, I've inherited that, but I'm not, I don't consider myself violent person. Probably more when I was younger, I had more of a thing to me.

But now I'm pretty mellow with all that. If you had kids when you were younger, do you think it would have been harder to control? No, because I, I push, but all three of my brothers with their parents, it hasn't continued.

on. And my father's quite a gentleman. And so having him, you sort of went, okay, well, there's another way to go. And I was a bit resentful towards him as younger because he didn't do enough to stand up for us. And then I look back on my mother's childhood and what she went through and it's not my personal details to pass on. But, and I sort of get it.

Yeah. Sort of get, you know, hurt. That was going to be my question. It always happens. Hurt people, hurt people. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, to think about, like, for her to look at a little two-year-old and do that, something's really got, she is really hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was very angry or something. There was something that we were stopping from her life or there's resentment or something. Yeah. But anyway, so when I was in school, and I look back on this now, I did a post about this the other day because they're trying to raise the, um, the aim.

of social media in Australia to 16. At the moment it's 13. They're trying to raise it to 16 because there's suicides and the bullying and that's other stuff. And I sort of said, I said, look, if I, the amount of bullying that I received at school, if I couldn't get home and then I'm being, this woman's getting into me, I needed relief from something. Yeah.

I needed relief from that. If I had that plus that and I couldn't escape. And then my Christmas holiday break, I still fucking have to see, or summer break, I have to see, see fucking all the parties I wasn't invited to. Yeah, and the nice vacations that everyone's on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, things like that. If I had to see that, that would have done me in. Yeah. That would have been the final straw.

So, so I put this post up and I said, I said, I was had it hard at home, hard at school, and I, you know, if I had to, basically what I just told you. Yeah. And then there was a couple of people I went to school with who reached out and they were like, wait a minute, you didn't have it. You went bullied at school. And I go, but my experience was in your experience. And I think that everyone must feel a little bit of, oh yeah. Because we're only walking in our own shoes. And then I think back to, to I was dealing with having no mates, fucking, a mum that was yelling at me in the school ground, like telling me off about things at home.

Uh-huh. Uh, fucking getting flogged at home all the fucking time, not being allowed out. I was not allowed out of the house, not being allowed to choose my own hobbies. My mother was so controlling that I collected teddy bears as a kid, and I was made to learn the fucking flute, mate. Right? Made to learn the fucking flute, right? That's the coolest thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a 13-year-old boy. All you want to do is make girls. And that's why, like, this way, like, I'm not getting trouble for saying this, but my mother desperately wanted a daughter. Desperately wanted a daughter. started collecting dolls at the moment I was born because I was the final shot at it. Oh really? Yeah, two brothers.

Two brothers. And I only found this out recently from the day that the doll collecting happened when the day I was born. When I was born, when I was born, my mother didn't hold me for two, three days. It's true, two, three days. And then for a couple of months, didn't change a diaper because you didn't want to see the penis. Oh, man. Right, right? So mental, mental, we were dealing with someone with mental illness.

Yeah, right? Yeah. And so then she went crazy and started collecting dolls, started collecting more dolls, and the house was filled with fucking dolls, right? And also my mother had Muchhausens. Oh, man. Me and my, and I can't, I won't speak on what happened to my brothers, because it was pretty horrific as well.

But we were over-diagnosed with medical things. My mother went doctor shopping, and we had every attention deficit disorder and all these different things and, you know, different, and like really drastic things. where she would say we're sick and all that type of stuff so she would get more sympathy because my mother had polio as a child from which makes me my wife is is 33 right so I'm 13 years older than my wife it's not nothing silly right yeah when I say that my god my mother had polio it makes me feel like I'm 100 right exactly so she had polio so my belief is and I'm just being a sideline

psychiatrist. My belief is that she, that's when people visited her. And that's when people saw her. It was through illness. Right. Because she wasn't particularly likable person and she didn't have any friends, but then everyone came to visit her because she was on death's door. And so right up until my mother died, she would find ways of being in hospital. My mother was in hospital at least a month every year. Every, every year in my life. And every Christmas, she would make a speech and tell us that this was the last Christmas and that she would be dead by the next year. So I was in a constant state as a child, this person who hit me believing that this was a dying human being.

Right. And she lived to be fucking almost 80. Jeez. Right. And 300 pound 80 year old. You don't fucking see them around. They're fucking a rarity. I tell you, she must have had a good inner system to be that fucking big.

And she let everything out. She didn't keep anything in. Maybe that's the healthiness. So, geez. What was my point here? What was my point? So the thing and the medicine and the, we were, okay, so by the time I got to university, I had very low self-esteem about myself.

I thought I was a bit of a fucking dickhead and I was unlikable and that no one would ever want to be me friend because she would say that to me. She'd say to me and my brothers that she, we were the reason she couldn't have friends because we were such bad kids that. that no one wanted to be friends with her because of who we were. And so you carried that around, like, what a piece of shit I am. I'm a terrible piece of shit, right? How deep was that?

How deep was that feeling of I'm a piece of shit? It's still there. Yeah. Still there. That one's hard because your mother told you were a piece of shit all that. But then I went to university and a starting musical theater and everyone liked me. And I was with these theatery kids. So I wasn't with the jocks that I didn't fit in with or whatever.

But I got along with everybody. Not only that, I was the funniest cun at fucking university. Everyone was like, this guy was the funniest guy ever, right? And that's when I was like, I can do stand-up comedy. Wow. And then it was like becoming Jim Jeffries was like, I'm a new bloke.

Wow. And it was pushing the pass behind me. That was a very long answer for a very short question. No, it's brilliant. I mean, did you have the idea that you were funny before then? I have two brothers And one brother Who's a cop

And terribly nice man Not funny And I have another sibling Who is as funny as me And me and him Egged each other on And we had all the same mental problems But I know he's funny

And he knew I was funny Right And so I had enough of that But I also at school I was doing zingers Man I was in the back of the class I was doing

And I was being really fake. Yeah, yeah. My other brother, who was being picked on just as much more so than I was. Right. He used to talk so much in class, and I do those stuff that the school teacher said to him, and I remember being jealous because that was the job I wanted, the school teacher said to him, if you don't talk all week in my class, he is the last class on Fridays, we'll end five minutes, ten minutes earlier,

and you can do a review of the week, right? So this lady basically offered him stand-up comedy. And so my brother would do impersonations of teachers and this like that. And it got to the stage where the class next door would also come in to watch. So he was being, he was really, he was much worse bullied than me, right? He was physical and everything, right? And that was like he's thing. And I remember thinking, oh, but I'd already wanted that as a job.

And he's going to fucking do it. And then he didn't want to do it or he didn't pursue it or anything like that. So by the time I was 17, 18, I was single. Right. I want to be a comedian. Man. That's the only people. And still to this day, look, we've done some acting.

Yeah. It's hard. And as I said, as I said, you know, you're saying the highs get lower and lower. And when I'm doing acting now, I'm like, am I doing a good job? I'm doing a bad job. Oh, I think I was shit in that thing. I don't think I was great in that thing. I think if I do another 10 fucking movies, it'll become like stand-up.

Right. Where it's second nature. But we're better than them. Right. We are, we're better than them. We're higher on the... We may not have a fucking reward show with a trophy and all that type of stuff. We're fucking better than them.

And I'll tell you... Okay, three times a 10-year-old has won an Oscar. Right? Three times. Three times they've found 10-year-olds that they deem to be the best, right? So I'm saying it takes so long to learn this and get to... If you see a 10-year-old stand-up comedian, walk the stage, your confidence level is going to be very low.

Right. Very low. It's going to change everything. Even a 10-year-old juggler, you're like, no, this is not going to be good juggling. But with acting, you're like, it'll be cute. You're the best. Yeah, you really did. This is the best.

This is the best. This is the best one I've ever seen. What a story. It really is almost like, because as you're telling the story, it's so, I mean, there's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, It's like roadblock after, textbook roadblock for a happy life, just thrown at you. Yeah. The mother is the ultimate thing.

And then it's almost like, it's just sound a little corny. It's like Jim shows up and saves Jeff. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I had a therapist say that once to me. Really? It's that, yeah, yeah, you got to, it's really. Therapy said that. You got to, you got to, if you could meet yourself as a child,

Would you, you know, I learned in therapy that, okay, if you can meet yourself, I'm a piece of shit because of ABCD and you, you've got to treat yourself like you're your best friend. If you treat yourself like your best friend, what's your best friend's going to say to you when you've made mistakes? You shouldn't have done that, but you're not a bad person, you're all right. Don't do it again, man. Yeah, that's right. I believe in you. Yeah, that's right. That's what your best friend says to you.

100%. Or if you own up to mistakes you've made, well, that's in the past. You can't carry that around with you all the time. Just trying to be good moving forward. But you don't treat yourself like your best friend. I don't know many people who do. No. But that was one thing that was taught.

That was one thing that was taught to me that actually flicked a switch. Yeah. Where I actually went, right, just treat myself like I'm my best friend. That's not saying you just fucking forgive everything and this and the other. No, you care about you. How would you talk to your best friend? Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend. if they were telling you this information.

It's pretty brilliant because we do carry different sides to us. We are. That's why I was like when I saw that you would change your name and I always loved that idea of this alter ego kind of a thing because you are satisfying really two parts of yourself. I became Fonzie. I became like this guy wearing a leather jacket everywhere. I became like fucking Fonzie, man.

It's the coolest. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, Yeah. It's like, you know, there's certain comics who do, like, I never inherit, who do like nerdy or do awkward or do smarmy or something like that. Yeah. And I was just basically doing myself, you know what I mean?

And it turned out that I was somewhat of like a, like, it felt like a beaten up rock star. Right. You know what I mean? Like, there was smoking and stuff like that. I always felt like a guy who'd been in a band for too long. Yeah, you'd already been through it. That is true. That's a really good insight because that's what I would see from the outside.

It was like somebody. So when you started like coming out with your shows and your specials and stuff, it all lined up because it was very much your own stories. And it really, it was, you wanted to know more about what happened to this rock star? Why? How did he get, how did this cool, what did this cool guy do before I? I met him. Yeah. Well,

there was a lot of it, like, you know, I wasn't allowed to do shit, a very strict parent. And then so, the first opportunity I had when I was in university, drugs,

please, yes. Alcohol, drugs, this, give it to me, give it to me, give it. Yeah, oh,

this feels good. I had my first cigarette in my 20s. Wow. Everybody else does it when they're 14, but I was just like, I've got to have, I've got,

I'm doing everything now. I'm doing everything. I'm seeing what happens. Yeah. I was depressed as like whether I'll get fucking die, I'll die if I live, I live, you know what I mean? And so I've started talking about this a bit on stages. So my sobriety has been like watching the stock market.

Oh, he's doing better. You know what I mean? The Dow's down today. So I had like my third special was called Fully Functional because I was meant to be sober forever then. And that lasted one special. I'm like, oh, God, what I do? I wanted to dig that hole for myself to fucking have it going.

So you start out, you start out, like you bring out my first HBO special, I'm there drinking, I think, six beers in an hour, and I was drinking before the gig, and I was drinking after the gig, and I was drinking during the gig, and everyone's like, this guy's the greatest drinker that's ever been. Yeah. No, I was on cocaine. Right?

Okay. The drinking meant nothing. So the next one, the next one, I got rid of the cocaine, because I thought that was unprofessional, and I got so blind drunk I couldn't remember the special so I called that special Alcoholicost and that I think arguably my best work

and then I was like oh I'm too drunk now so what happened was and then I gave up drugs completely but just before my son was born I gave up all drugs I haven't taken drugs for years and when you

you give up the drugs and you continue the drinking you become a very sloppy drunk. And that's when everyone thought I was spiraling. But I was in recovery. Right. You were getting better. That was the best that I'd been. I just didn't have cocaine proper beer. You didn't have your superpower. So I was like, I felt like saying that weren't, don't worry why. I'm just not on cocaine. But I was like, this is actually an improvement. And I'm trying to work in television and stuff. So I better not fucking admit that. So then you give up the alcohol and then it's all right. And then

And the last thing you give up is the cigarettes. And for whatever reason, that's the hardest thing to give up by a mile. Next to all other drugs, that's the hardest thing to give up. Right. And when you give up drinking, people throw a parade for you, man. Every time you say in America, I'm two years, over three years, over four years. So, who, good for you. Having a cigarette in two years.

Well, hopefully, you're not, you know, it hasn't done too much already. It may have been too late. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you're like, unless you've smoked, yeah. Other smokers, other smokers give you. Yeah.

Because they know. Yeah. But non-smokers don't know. Do you still take nicotine in some form? None. I went to vaping for a little bit. Uh-huh. And that might be worse, might be better.

Who knows? Yeah. I know it got you off. I know I didn't feel as bad in the morning and I wasn't hocking up shit. Right. So I was, I can only do that. but who knows what chemical. It could be the world's new asbestos, right?

And then I gave that up because I was on tour in Europe and there was a country. It was either Austria or Germany. It was one of the two. But they didn't sell vapes with nicotine in them. They only sold flavoured vapes. Yeah. And so I just went, well, I'll have to buy one of those.

Yeah. And I was there for three days. and I was still addicted to doing this. But then at the end of three days, I was like, well, the nicotine's out of my body. I'd have to be, this is the first time I've been nicotine free for a long time. I'd have to be an idiot to fucking go back to the nicotine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I went, I went and bought 10 more nicotine free vapes.

Smart. And I went, I'm going to go on these until I get bored of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, oh, this is stupid. And then I started picking, I started getting flavors. is I don't like. So I'm like, I'm like,

liver worse. So then I'm there literally like, like, kiwi fruit. Like, and I'm still doing it. And then I'm like, you're an idiot.

And then just stop. And then it was over. It was over. So what has weed done for you? Weed for me, um, makes me less tense. Yeah.

Um, I find out of all drugs. And I never took weed before this. Yeah. I remember you saying that. Never took weed before this. Because I had a couple of times where I smoked the joint, felt paranoid, thought, not for me, lived on. I've also never, I've had three glasses of wine in my life. Yeah, I don't like it. Really?

It feels like it was rich, too rich for me. It's too much. I was beer. Yeah. I was beer until I got too fat. And then I moved over to vodka. I was, I just started drinking. spirits out of vanity. And then I was like obliterated, right?

Yeah. And you're drinking because, like, like, Jack and Coke, Vunk, you know what I mean? Yeah. So,

yeah, it was always like beer until Jack Daniels, and then it became just vodka, because vodka had the lowest amount of calories. And there was, like vodka and soda water. I didn't like the buzzer, then it was just vodka and water.

Right. I'm just drinking vodka and straight up water. Right. And, and then that was, you're still a martini. Yeah. And so,

so after, after that, then, Um, never smoked, never smoked. And then I, when it became legal, had a couple of edibles. Uh-huh. And I found my sleep was improving. Yeah.

I found that I was a cheery a person to be around. Uh-huh. See, the thing with me in alcohol, yeah. I could be a lot of fun. Uh-huh. But I also could be not, um, aggressive as such, but I could be a little mean. Uh-huh. I, the funny comments could turn into mean comments.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, of course. But now, but I was a good hang. Yeah, with wheat, I don't know if I could do weed if I was single. If you were single. Because I don't think I could date on it. Uh-huh.

And I, I, I, I needed alcohol to go on dates because I was too nervous. Yeah. And I needed a little bit of thing. Yeah. You know, like drunk me.

It had gotten laid many times. He was, he was, he, He was the key to meeting whatever he was doing, it seemed to work. Yeah, he had a dial-ed it. Sober me, never had a one-night stand. Where was these one-night stands going from? I loved one-night stands and short-term relationships and hookups and so of that. But it was always drunk.

Right. And hi, I don't feel like sex at all. Right. Right. So the wife doesn't mind it because the wife. My wife likes me high because, yeah, put on Van der Pupupaprules. I don't give a fuck. Right.

It works. When I'm high, when I'm high, she can watch any TV program she wants. I have no remote control. There's no critic in you anymore. I hand over the power. Also, I'm like this. I'm like, like that to my son. What picks our film?

Let's do it. Let's go. How is it, has it changed your writing at all? view? You'll do those stupid things when you're high, where you write down a joke that you think's genius. Yeah. And then the next day you'll look at it.

It's like, what did I write the other day that I thought? Yeah. I thought it was like a Seinfeld-esque type of routine, which occasionally I do an observational bit, not a non-story. Occasionally I have one. And I thought this is, this is the one. Yeah. This is this one.

People are going to relate to this. And I read it back. And I've never written down. jokes until I started doing weed and I just write down a word and I know what the joke was. It was baking soda. No one seems to bake with baking soda. My wife's there making the fridge smell better. She's pouring it on cat piss.

It should be called nice smelling soda or something. Who bakes for this stuff? And I still don't quite know. Do you bake with baking soda? Yeah. What does it do? My wife doesn't do any, but she's pulling. pouring it on if the cat vomits,

she's got a box of baking soda, and she leaves it in rooms for things, and it's in all of our refrigerators. It does everything with bakes. Yeah, that was high. Yeah, that was high. And I thought, I thought other people, it could be something.

Other people will know about the more uses of baking soda. It needs a new name because it's used for more than baking. Can you perform high? I can perform. a little high. I can't perform a lot high. But that's the wonderful thing about edible and stuff. You know...

So 10 milligrams I don't even feel really. I just... Maybe I'm a bit more chill. Right. And like I could possibly line up at the DMV a little longer. Right. That's what 10 milligram. And I can perform in that very easily.

I don't, you know... But then 30 milligrams... That's a lot. I lose track of my thought. Yeah. I've done it a couple of times And how I move my hands. I got, what was I, I got the audience, what was I talking about?

Some of the audience are guys, biking cider. Oh, all right. I'll get back on to that. Joey, how many milligrams are you up to? He eats a lot. Well, no, the time he gave me crap for taking him on the road, I took five or ten. Yeah, but wait, and are you taking them on stage or? No, no, just after the show.

But you normally, what, like 20 if you're just hanging? I don't take a ton of edibles. You don't? No, but, yeah, I would say, you. gobbled them up like you had, like a little baby goat. I'm, I'm, I'm, okay, so I get off stage, I take 20, and then I do my meet and greet. Ah, right? My meeting greet normally, I talk to the people, normally 100 people takes about an hour.

Yeah, right? I do the same. And so I talk to people and I'll tell us stuff. And so the edible takes about 30 minutes to kick in. Right. So the people, the people at the end of the meet and greet get a bit more time. But, but you know, okay. you know this is why i don't take them on stage you know how boring you must be when someone has paid

a hundred dollars to meet you and they end the conversation happens to me all the time when you answer sincerely yeah yeah and they're like all of a sudden you can just see the look like oh you're like that was a great show and i go well i'll tell you what went wrong there's a different business, like this, right? And I'm saying to them, and then I'm like, and what do you do for a living?

I'm asking you, what are you doing? And then they go, hey, there's a lot of people in the line, Jim. We got to go. And I'm like,

oh, fuck, I bought them. I know. They met me and I bought them. It happens to me all the time. But isn't that the thing with, with whatever level of fame you're at or, like,

I always feel like I'm disappointing people when they meet me. And I think that can come across sometimes as being standoffish. But so, so I did get diagnosed with a low level of autism or something like that. So I always, I always try to, I say to my wife, remind me to ask questions. Right. Even when I'm in the dressing room with comics, I'm like, it's not all about me. Even here, I haven't asked you, shit.

I haven't been able to see you. That's exactly. I'm here to ask you questions. But I go, I go like this. Have you been on the road? Oh, good. And you've got kids. You're all right, you kids.

And so I don't, but then you meet people at an airport or something like that. I always feel like I'm disappointing them. And I worry that that's, so whenever someone leaves, I turn my wife and I go, I desperately care. I'm like, was I, was I nice then? She goes, you were perfectly nice. And I go, I didn't just, because I don't want them telling their friends, and I'm an asshole.

Because a lot of people think I'm an asshole, and I don't want that to be a thing. So I'm trying to be. And also, you know what else happens? Okay, so, so you had that show where you're cancelled, married people. Yeah. Right? Yeah. What was that?

Eight years ago? 10, 11. 10, 11 years ago. I had a sitcom 11 years ago, 12 years ago, 12 years ago, because my, my ex was pregnant. My son's 11. Right. So, so. So 12 years ago, I had a sitcom that people, some people, it could legit, I'm very proud of it.

Check it on Rotten Tomatoes. It did very well. People who watched it liked it, right? Anyway, and it's on Hulu, right? So a lot of people are just discovering it since it got onto Hulu. They watch that, and they meet you, and you're just like the oldest person they've ever met, right? Because whenever someone meets you, you're the oldest you've ever been. Yeah, that's right.

You're the oldest you've ever been. Of course. And they've just watched you. Twelve years ago. Their friends, their family, they're seeing all the time and it's a gradual. The aging's gradual. For you, it's just like they've seen you on TV. Boom.

Oh my God. I get the comment once in a while. What happened? What happened? Nothing. That show was a decade ago. I was scared. Another decade happened.

Exactly. I was skinny. I was like an hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, well, I've, I've, changed me teeth and my hair over you. So I've gone backwards in some things. But it's like I've stopped dying the hair.

I was dying it for a while. Oh, yeah. I just went off. Yeah. Because you start to get that vampirey. Yeah. And then like, are you cut it short? And then the grey comes in the side.

You get that, that, the monster, the grandad of the monsters. Yeah. Grandpa. Whereas dark up here from the dye, these bits out of the side. It gets a little weird. I know. Someone was telling me, someone had gotten hair

and they're trying to convince me, you can get hair, you can do this, implants and stuff, and I'm like, it would be really weird if I all of a sudden show up. Well,

mine didn't really take, I got flakes in right now, but mine didn't really take. I got some of it and lost half. Yeah, but I put the flakes in. I'm the king of,

King of Bowlering. Just fucking fluffs up. New World of Spestis up here, man. I, but it's like, it's one of those two. TV things. They go,

yeah, yeah, yeah. The first time you do it, you go like this, what was that? What did you do? You're like,

oh, I look pretty good. Because I'm a big hat fisher. I wear hats whenever possible. I don't even really like baseball. But it's the sport for the balls. That's right. Because the other ones,

the other one, you wear like an L.A. Rams hat, but you can wear a baseball hat all the time and no one questions it. Yeah, exactly. I do like baseball. I do like baseball. But thank God for the hat.

Well, this is so great catching up. I don't know if I did what your podcast is meant to do, this is exactly what we're supposed to do. We just meant to shoot the shit. A hundred percent. Breaking bread. Catch up. See you.

Feed you. Hear about how everything's going. I'm going to take this home. And if my wife made one of her loaves today, are we going to, I'm going to give it to the children as a Pepsi challenge. Oh, no. Yeah, no.

Yeah. Sounds like she's good. No. No, I've got a British vegan, man. The British aren't known for their culinary excellence, are they? They had one guy who squares a lot, and then the rest of it's fucking boiling meat. And the British bake off. My wife puts peas on everything.

Oh, yeah, they love peas. I love peas. Yeah, peas are good. But she puts too many peas. Too many peas. It's like a third of the whole dish. And you're putting it in a pasta, it shouldn't be like predominantly green. Right.

It should be an accent. This is too many peas. I would like that sausage roll thing, though. I'll make you sausage rolls. Next time, if you bring you back on this podcast, if the public response, 100%, I will come on, I will bring you sausage rolls. I will have them cooked and ready to go.

I love making it. It would be a joy. I would love it. You're world famous. Well, my world famous. Where can people keep track of both of your tours? They're all on Jim Jeffries.com.

We got a Canada tour, a American tour, American tour involving other comics, American tour just by myself, a Canadian tour involving Jimmy Carr. We have a whole Australian tour, but the Australian tour, when does this come out? A couple weeks. Oh, okay, so it'll already be, so they've got the Australian tour coming out, and that's, that's all but sold out, but we've added a show here and there, so there are shows,

and we're doing, I'm doing some more regional stuff in Australia. I used to just do the Big Five Cities, and now I'm at Geelong and Newcastle and places that you've never heard of. Yeah, man, I really, if, if, you're doing, if, you're doing, if, you're just to do. you get picked up for season two bring me over i look i can hook you up right now with someone who can just put you in the clubs if you want to do that like if you want to do theaters and stuff yeah yeah come come and do the show man we'd love we would love to have you it'd be great we'd love to have you and uh um and i'm doing if you also the one percent club in australia which is the

show that pattern does over here oh right right game show that patent oh really you did that i do the australian version oh that's like you questions Yeah, that's funny. I read questions on there that I've already read in rehearsal. I already know the answer. And then I'm reading them. And I still don't know what the fuck's going on. The questions get so hard that I'm just like,

and if the month is August and the sequence is 27, what number is the... Why am I here? And it's like people who get, they get 100 contestants, and people get knocked out. And I'm like this, you're an idiot. I wouldn't get past the first two questions. Sitting there, getting flakes put on your hair.

That guy was a real idiot. I'm going to fucking Godfrey nugget in these flakes. So great, too. I got to tell you, mate, how much I respect you as a guy and as a comedian and how much I really appreciate you having me on the podcast. You're a good dude, man. Straight back at you. We'll do it again for sure. Thanks.

And I'd say probably 80. percent of it is for the sausage rolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we got it, Joey.