Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 218 - Greg Hess

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Greg Hess joins the table and compliments the restaurant. The two recount their time on NPR’s Live From Here. They get into Greg’s new podcast “Get it to Dutch: A Screenwriter's Journey” which features Weird Al Yankowic and Tim Robinson. Greg cannot believe this is not a real restaurant! They get into traveling for work. Greg shares some of the craziest corporate gig stories you will hear. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Greg: Greg Hess is a writer and performer in Los Angeles. He is a founding member of critically acclaimed ensembles Cook County Social Club and the Improvised Shakespeare Company, and performs regularly at the Upright Citizen's Brigade and Largo at the Coronet. Greg has developed original pilots for Showtime, Pop, Warner Bros., Adult Swim, and Comedy Central. His humor writing has been published in the New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs, and the American Bystander. He is a former writer and performer on the nationally syndicated public radio show Live From Here (APM). Film/TV credits include: Yesterday (Dir. Danny Boyle), Playing House (USA), Adam Ruins Everything (Tru), Key & Peele (Comedy Central), Tacoma FD (Tru), LA to Vegas (Fox), and Food the Source of Life (Adult Swim) which he created. He cohosts and produces It’s a Wonderful Lie which reached #1 on the iTunes Comedy charts. About Tom: Tom Papa, a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry, has made significant strides in film, television, radio, podcasts, and live performances. Notably, he's a regular on "The Joe Rogan Experience" and various late-night TV shows. Papa's literary skills are evident in his books “We’re All In This Together” and "You’re Doing Great!: And Other Reasons To Stay Alive," a collection of essays, and "Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas," a comedic look at family life. His latest stand-up specials are “Tom Papa: What A Day!” and "Tom Papa: You’re Doing Great!" on Netflix. Beyond comedy, Papa's engagements extend to hosting "What A Joke With Papa And Fortune" on SiriusXM and appearing on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me." His love for baking led to hosting the Food Network series "Baked." As an actor, he's worked with notable figures like Rob Zombie and Steven Soderbergh and has appeared in several films and TV shows, including the HBO film "Behind the Candelabra." Additionally, Papa has contributed as a writer to projects like "Bee Movie" and various TV series. Residing in Los Angeles with his family, Papa continues to balance his professional life with personal interests like baking. Get in touch with or go see Tom live on stage! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa #TomPapa #breakingbreadwithTomPapa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years. With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises. Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try.

Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. This episode is brought to you by an espresso. Hear that? That's your next obsession. Every coffee a new world. Every sip, a new taste. This is the new Nespresso. One touch, endless possibilities. Iceed, flavored, long, short. Because some days call for that espresso kick. And sometimes, a smooth, silky latte just wins. It's exceptional, but effortless. Like actually

effortless. Simply press, brew, and explore. Nispresso, what else? Keep exploring at nespresso.com. I just did the craziest gig. I can just say it now. We get in there, it's Zuckerberg, Sam Altman. several Nobel Prize winners. And then these two guys are going to get up and do some improv. It's breaking bread. Thank you for being here.

This is beautiful. I want to talk about this menu with you also and your new podcast, which is very exciting. A toast? A toast. Who wants to do the toast? I'll do the toast. All right, you do the toast. Here's one that my, I had an uncle who would always toast with, here's to you, here's to me.

best of friends will always be but if we should ever disagree screw you here's to me Bravo my daughter found this menu Hollywood's popular Italian restaurant in

I guess this was like the 50s no it's got to be earlier I hope it's Sabarro Italian kitchen Hollywood and what's that say Argyle Oh, that's right by my house.

Oh, it is? Yeah. Does that building look familiar? Yes, it does. I know exactly where that building is. Yeah, that's, I think that's right by the Pantages Theater, right? Is it, what's there now, a Best Buy? Boy, I hope so.

I love a Best Buy when I need a Dongle of some sort. But, yeah, I love an old menu. I know. It's the best. There was a book of old menus I saw in my dentist's office, and I was going to steal it. And I was like, I'll leave it. It's a perfect time when your mouth is a, open to be looking at an old menu.

This is great. Look at the prices on that stuff. And this is where it gets political, folks. Inflation's real. Yeah, this is great. Somebody else had pointed out, I mean, yeah, come on. Half a spaghetti and a ravioli for 70 cents? 70 cents.

Amazing. Meatballs and mushroom sauce for 80 cents. I was at Cypriani last night in Beverly Hills. Great joint. Not on my dime. Thank goodness. And... I think the spaghetti, though, the ravioli was like $45.

$45. Yeah. And I hate to be an old man yelling at the sky. I know. But it is kind of like, I just don't think it, I don't think a ravioli should be $45. Homemade ravioli with meatballs or mushroom sauce, 80 cents. Comes with cheese, bread, breadsticks, and butter. Some of those great menus, too.

I think there was one from, it was a place downtown, an old L.A. place downtown, and I think the menu was from the 20s. And it was something like, you know, a pheasant wrapped in a suckling pig, you know, with a demi-glass and with cheese sauce. You know, and you're just like, dear God. Why? Yeah. Why are you eating that? And you're just like, everyone's just having, like, lobster thermidor for lunch with their four martinis.

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool. So insane. tuna and deviled eggs. There was rabbit on here somewhere. Yeah, rolled beef steak. Bring it back. Close down the Best Buy.

Put this back. Fried rabbit, cacciatore. Ooh, that would be good. Belgian hair, to be clear. That will, thank God. Belgian hair. If it's not Belgian, don't even put it in front of me, to be honest, when it comes to hair. This is so amazing.

Do you want an espresso or anything? Are you okay? Do you guys have espresso? Yeah, we have espresso. Do you have a wait, staff here? What's the living wage situation with the wait staff? Is it split tips?

We don't really talk about that. You know, it's, this is kind of a safe space. Did you ever wait tables? Yeah, well, no, I was a bus boy. Oh. I was a bus boy. That's how I paid for my first car. Really?

Yeah. Which was? A 19, no, 1778, Toyota, a carola. Probably still running. $1,600 bucks. Nice. Baby shit orange with a little racing stripe down the side. Oh, yes. I know this car exactly. And I started working there before I could drive. I started working as a bus boy. Italian place? No, it was a, like a dinerish in a, in a hotel.

Uh-huh. And I bus tables there and got all my money and got the car like a month before my birthday. And then did you stay on working after you got the car or was it just the car? No, because it was just the car. Okay. And I was in school. I still had to go to school. I was 13.

I got it three years before I could drive. And I couldn't work the morning breakfast anymore. Yeah. So then I hung around the hotel. I did some like putting dance floors together, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. And it, uh, and then it kind of petered out. Wow.

Putting dance floors together, that also sounds like something from like a time gone by of like, yeah, we called the dance floor guys. They put in a dance floor in the old roller rink and we had the sock hop. Yeah, exactly. Call Tom Popper. We'll take, rip it down again. Do we have espresso capability with just you two on the board? Joey, you can do it? I'd do an espresso if you got one.

Yeah, we'll take it. It's the afternoon. We'll take two, please. Yeah, amazing. And if at any point you want to yell at the staff, you can. Okay, great, great. Guys, we encourage it. Tell me about your new podcast.

Well, I think you'll appreciate this. You know, I've been in Hollywood now for a just hit our 10-year anniversary. Wow. So you went to this restaurant. I went to this restaurant when it fell on the day. This restaurant, the day I moved here was the day of close. Ah, son of a bitch. Yeah, and, you know, I had my first and last meal there.

The podcast is called Get It to Dutch. And what it is is me and my two closest longtime comedy buddies. We all moved here from Chicago at the same time. We had sold a pilot, you know, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, arrived here. You know, we had shot the pilot. I think I was driving across the country and got the news that the pilot didn't get a pickup up when I was like in Texas. Oh, really?

You know, so really started out on the perfect note of just like, everything's going my way. I'm sorry, what? It's not? Okay, great. And, um, cool. And we'll try to shop it elsewhere. Okay.

You know, it's that thing. Yeah. And so. Early rejections in L.A. It's amazing. It's so tough. They really, they really throw you because you didn't even think it was a possibility. And they tell, and they act like, it's like, guys, it's, it's a go.

I mean, we are. getting all signs are pointing to a pickup. Everyone's very excited very well. Everyone is very excited. And then, you know, you get the call of just like, yeah, the president of Viacom that had never heard of it and didn't like it. You know, it's like one of those things. Yeah.

And so, you know, these are the guys, we were a group out of Chicago called Cook County Social Club. And so the podcast is actually about three struggling screenwriters loosely based on ourselves. Right. that are trying to get a screenplay to this fictional producer named Dutch Huxley. So every week we come in and read a piece of one of the screenplays we're working on, and it's sort of like fully produced table read. But, you know, as these things go, it's really kind of a satire of our time in Hollywood

and all the shit that these guys are going through. Right. And, of course, we're recording out of my friends, you know. North, North Hollywood. Studio basement apartment where we're sitting on weight benches. And thank you, sir, looking at. scarface posters, you know. And so it's, it's been a delight. There's some really fun, Weird Al plays our, our entertainment lawyer. Yes. Name Al Bingo.

Yes. Tim Robinson is our, who's our, you know, longtime buddy and performer. He plays our landlord. And it's been great. It's only, only 12 episodes and it just came out. So funny. I only got to hear the first one. Can I have an espresso too, sir? I mean, I don't want to be a bobby. father. It's just, we ordered two. We're both crashing here. We ordered two, right? We did. We did order two, right? We did. We did. We totally ordered two. And so do you own this place, or is like, are you just an investor? It's, yeah, I have a piece. Okay. I have a piece. And does that get you, I'm always wondering about this. When you invest in a restaurant, are you, is it just get you a good reservation? And then, because restaurants never make money, really, right? Well, no, they don't make money. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's, that's why this place. no longer, this is a best by now. Especially this place needs a few more tables, to be honest. Well, you know, I don't think,

I don't think they thought it through. Yeah. How long does it take to make a fucking espresso? I mean, he went back to the kitchen. Right. I keep saying we got to get him a vest. We really do. Thank you, Joseph.

That was delightful. Today, Joe looks like a fine Williams college student in a, in a, in a, I love that they get smart weight. No, I like it just just as is. Cheers. Cheers, sir. I only got to listen to the first one.

Yeah. It was very funny. Thank you. Because it was establishing who you all were to each other. Yes. It was very much that arriving in L.A. Yeah. Like, we're doing our best, but this is kind of weird.

Yeah. Like, we're in Hollywood, but barely. The three guys meet and a three-car pile up on the 101, and that's how they become writing partners. Yeah. But what's really impressive, is and you break into reading a kind of Lord of the Rings hobbitish kind of a thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy how good you all are with your voices. Oh, thank you. You're like, it's like, oh, shit, this is like, all of a sudden it's like, oh, no, these are killers.

Well, you know, yeah, it really is. You know, you know how when you do, you know, comedy and stuff for so long, you're always like a little bit self-deprecating with when you put, you make something. It's like, oh, yeah, you know, it's good or check it out. but, you know, it's just the bullshit that I do. And this one was one that when it came out, I was actually like, you know what, I'm honestly proud of it. You know, and you kind of like, I'm trying to get into that habit of not always just undercutting whatever you're working on for the sake of like sort of like fake humility or something. Yeah. And it was just, I think the thing that we like so much about doing a show like that was it truly

did feel like, oh, you get to make something with your best friends. And you get to write something with your best friends. And this is the kind of comedy that we like. Yeah. And it's so specific. And that's always what becomes successful. Yeah, yeah, totally. Always.

Like when you hear stories of like the office or anything, it's like you're just in the space making each other laugh. Oh, dude. And that's the thing. Yeah. It was that all day, every day. And so, and, you know, the cool thing about it, too, is like we just got to work in so many true stories from this, like, insane place that we call a workplace, which is L.A. And, you know, at different points, like, you know, not, no, really. spoilers, but at one point we go and we're excited because we get a studio pitch.

And it turns out that the studio is actually Tyson Chicken Studios. And it's Tyson Chicken is making branded movies now. And so we get into a script deal with Tyson Chicken Studios where we're like, well, does it, you know, the only requirements are it has to have chicken and chicken has to be the hero of it. But otherwise, we should just be able to do what we're doing. We can make that work. And you realize like, oh, I've been in these situations where you're just like, yeah, Yeah, we could throw some branding in there.

A tiny little compromise. Oh, okay, yeah. You know, it kind of makes sense. It kind of makes sense that there's chicken in it. Yeah, it makes sense that there's chicken. And, of course, the bit on top of that was that, and also it has to mention that the election was stolen. So, yeah, it was.

Did you write it out, or do you guys? It was kind of the combination of the two. So the scripts we write. And I think we were thinking that, But, you know, some of the scripts, honestly, there's one called Hoopenstein, which is about a guy who is a basketball coach, bus wrecks. And the coach actually takes the body parts of the team and makes a basketball monster and goes on to win it all. And we're like, you know what? Hoopenstein's actually a pretty good animated movie idea.

Yeah, it's not so bad. There's like once where you're like, I think this is almost a movie. But yeah, but then all the table talk is improvised. And we had spent so much time working on the movies that we had all these back pocket bits to kind of bring in anyway. Right. And how long did you work with each other in Chicago? Dude, we started doing, yeah, 2005. 2005.

And what was the name of the group again? Cook County Social Club. Cook County Social, which Joe's, our producer's wife is a huge fan. Oh, cool. Yeah, you know, it was a show that was kind of a fun little, like, indie rock comedy show that ran for seven years. at Io Chicago, which is kind of the, you know, Io and Second City were kind of the two places to do stuff like that. Yeah.

And so after we all went on to Second City, we just kept writing together. And, you know, it's the thing I always come back to after doing solo stuff or, you know, duo stuff. And then I come back to that group. And it's like, yeah, well, every time you sell something, you'll make one fourth the amount of money, which is tough. Yeah. But it's so much fun because it's almost like going around with like a little writer's room on your back.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It is great. Who's more of the producer in that group? Oh, God, that's a great question. It's probably me, unfortunately, because it's like not really a title I ever wanted, but it's just, you know, I don't know if you're like this. I have a feeling you are because you are someone that always struck me as a comic that had his shit together.

And like, it's like when you're the one that at least even has the most of their shit together, you kind of have to be the one to like send out emails and like get things on track. And I'm always like, I'm not actually the most organized of all of us, but I kind of end up being the producer anyway. Right, right. That's good. Yeah, yeah, I'm learning that skill for sure. Yeah, I'm learning that skill. Let's take a minute to, as we can do here in the booth. Toast Trump.

I'm sorry. To toast, all of our leaders. To all of our leaders. To all of our leaders. Let's bitch a little. Yeah, let's do it. We did live from here together. We did.

Yeah. Which was Prairie Home Companion. It was. And I met you and your lovely wife Holly at Jones on third. Yeah. It was the first time we met. Yep. And they were putting it together.

Like it was yesterday. Yeah. And it was super exciting that Prairie Home was going to keep going with Christelia as the host. Yep. And then they put me in charge of the spoken word. So it was like, let's gather some funny people. Yeah. That can do it.

Yeah. And I'm not sure who introduced us. I, Joey, Ryan. Yeah, one of the producers on the show, yeah, had seen me at Largo. Right. And, yeah, and had been like, do you guys, you know, come from a sketch background? Yeah. And so, which was really cool because you guys had very clear, like, visions of, like, what your muscles were.

Yeah. Of, like, this is what we, this is what we've got. Yeah. And we cobbled together this thing. And it was really a blast. It was, like, really fun. It was chaotic and insane. And we got to do Prairie Home Companion until they changed the name.

and then they made it live from here, and then they fucked it up. And that's what I'd like to bitch about. I would love to bitch about this. They really screwed that thing up. They did. And, you know, I have kind of, like, in retrospect, I, well, first off, I got to say,

it was a crazy couple years where I don't know at what other opportunity I will be afforded to be like, and now you get to play at Carnegie Hall. Do you know what I mean? I mean, or the Ryan, or like, you know, know, these truly like life moments where if you could not be too stressed out in those moments to be like, you know what?

This is a blast. And we're traveling like with other great towns and people. And then you got like Jeff Tweedy standing next to you. You know? Yeah. I keep. Holly and I were laughing the other day. We did a show at, uh, when the, we did a show at Town Hall.

Uh, when Paul Simon was the guest. Right. And this isn't a bitch as much as it is like, uh, you know how when you meet certain, when you're around a lot of celebrities, the celebrity sparkle kind of shifts, you know, where you're like, in L.A., especially, you're like, oh, that's that person, cool. Or you're like, oh, I don't ever want to be near that person.

Or there's not too many people that you're, at least for me, like that I get like truly starstruck of like, you change my life. These are my top three people. I would say Paul Simon's in my pantheon. And when he did the show, I remember the whole cast and the entire, everybody in the show was standing stage right.

Paul Simon is on stage. For some reason, I'm the only one standing stage left. So he finishes his song and walks off stage left, and it's just me and Paul Simon standing there. So now I'm like, I gotta say. Like, what do you say? And I just remember, well, first, I mean, it kind of looked like the Twins poster or something, you know,

or it's just like, or the Simon and Garfunkel album cover, just like me and Paul Simon. And I think I was just like, So, you know, that first time you played that one in a while, huh? And he just kind of was like, yes, it was. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter,

it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen, and honestly priced way more reasonably than you'd expect for that kind of quality. It just makes everyday cooking feel a little more special. Quince has a really solid kitchen lineup. Their stainless steel and ceramic nonstick cookware performs like the kind you'd find in a professional kitchen. And their Japanese Damascus steel knives make prep feel way easy.

and more precise. I love having Quince in my lineup. I've got these good ceramic frying pans and sauce pans. They're very cool. They're good in your hand and they clean easy, which is another very cool thing. The best part, everything at Quince is priced way lower than you'd expect. 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Go get it right now. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash Papa for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E-E-com slash Papa, P-A-P-A, for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash Papa. Long, awkward silence, and then you're just stuck, stage left with Paul Simon. And I was like,

I don't have a joke, I don't have a follow-up. And then we both kind of like looked at our feet for a while before he wandered off into the darkness. And I was like, that's a moment. That's a moment that I'll remember forever. The best. I had a good John Prine moment when we were in New Orleans. Yeah. We did the show in New Orleans.

I've told this before, but I'll tell it again, because I don't know if I even shared it with you at the time. Yeah. He does the dress rehearsal and everything. And then we were in a hotel just a couple blocks away. So we had a little time between dress and the show. Yeah. So I go scurrying back.

just watched him do his sound check and it was just insane. Roy Scoville was like in tears. Yeah. I never even heard of this guy. He's just crying. And I'm in the elevator. I get in the elevator. They don't know I'm part of the show. And he's with like his manager and somebody else. And they say, John, the show's at seven. But they want you back there at five. And he's like, five. It's, it seems, it seems, you know, they really want you to get there. And he said, you know what let's go over at 630 and see what these people look like nervous that's amazing let's see what they look like nervous and thank god you heard that because i'm here to tell you they would have been nervous had you not had this little piece of information that's like he's

coming he's coming that's amazing but it was really it was like this real big traveling circus yeah all these insane musicians and like uh and then we had the spoken yeah and the We got to, like, be on planes with other funny people. Yeah. You know, in this business, a lot of times you're by yourself. Yep. It was really great. And our sketches were really funny.

Yeah. And it was really good. And it was really gaining ground. Yeah. It was, it was thinking on NPR. Yeah. The voice of everybody and how to do it and the whole thing. It was really great.

And then they started shrinking the spoken word. Yep. And shrinking it and shrinking it. And we'd be on, we'd be backstage. and they'd be like we'd have five sketches. We're only going to do two. And then I don't know if we're going to make this last one. And it was just like every.

Yeah. And we wrote all week. I know. I know. And then you're, and they just kept, the music was taking over. Yeah.

Which is, I understand it because that was Chris's love. Yeah. He's the host and I could see it happening. But there was also other people involved that should have been protecting it. Yeah. And they didn't. and when it, when it, that's the part I'd like to bet you about.

Yeah, I, I have, I have feelings for sure. And, you know, I think, uh, it, it was always to me, like, when you go to a show like that, that is a variety show. Yeah. Like, the variety is the part that I always, like, love because you're just like, you know, you would have, yeah, Rory Scoville's going to come on. John Prine's going to show up late and sing a song. And then, you know, then you got a cool, fun sketch, a fake commercial, and then another cool

song. Yeah. And I always like the reason, I mean, I was a Prairie Home Companion listener. Yeah. You know, for years and years, it's like I have such distinct memories of like riding in the back of my my parents car and listening to that and kind of like not getting it at the time. Yeah, yeah. And then getting to be a part of it and being like, oh yeah, the variety is kind of the, that's the spice of that that show. Because you can kind of, yeah. Yeah. And, and yeah. And, you know, I will say the pandemic also just, I'm sure just like was such a huge factor because it was like such an. So, expensive, big show to travel with. Then it moved to New York.

And then it just, you could, you know, how do you monetize a show like that if you're not selling live tickets to the thing? I'll tell you how, you park it in a not very expensive space. Yeah. And you put it on NPR and you just let it live. Yeah. It was so bloated by the time we showed up. Yep.

It was this huge, huge production. People forget, Garrison Keeler had like, six million listeners or something. Yeah, huge. And like, I do this little Come to Papa show in New York. Yeah. That was way before any of this. Just my homage to Prairie Home Companion in the hands of comedians.

And I do it for $2. Right. And you can pull it off. Yeah. But when a thing gets too big, it gets bloated. Yeah. And then you have executives and then you have all the rest of it. Yeah.

And then you end up not doing any more sketches. It's true. And I'd like to point out that like you're doing in this restaurant, thank you. It's pretty cool that you are making your own thing and putting it out there for the people. And that's kind of like, you know, I think it used to be something, and this is part of the bit, I think even of the podcast that I was talking about, our new Get It to Dutch podcast, which is just like the whole joy of it is just not waiting

for someone to tell you to do something, to just make it. You can just make it. You can just make it. I know. If 12 people listen to it, I honestly don't care. We already got to make it, and it's out there. Yeah. And yeah, but I would, you know, I'm still, I'm still itching for to work on a variety show.

I know. Well, listen, I've been trying to bring it back, and the fight's not over because apparently on NPR, you could be 75 and be new talent. so we're going to do it again for sure. This is why Biden will win. Can I ask you something uncomfortable? Spring chicken, yeah, please. This is a little bit of an uncomfortable moment, but we're alone in our booth. Is this a picture of you?

Okay, anybody who's listening to this podcast, be warned that what is about to follow is a visual gag. You can see it, just go to YouTube and scroll along and then you'll find this spot, and then you can see it. and then you're included. And while you're there, you can subscribe and be part of our YouTube community. Now back to the show. Can you explain this? Well, you said that you said, so you're doing this podcast with your two buddies from Chicago. What are their names again?

Mark Rotterman and Brendan Jennings and then directed by Andy Myra. Right. And then you just casually say that you put Tim Robinson and Weird Al on the show. Yeah. Why? We did a little research. Okay. And it seems to me, and I, you know, this is uncomfortable moments.

Yeah, this is uncomfortable. It seems to me like you might be using your old friends to create this podcast. Yeah. So you could rub elbows with more famous people. Yeah. And then, well, it looks like you're starting a submersible business on the side. Yeah. So.

You care to comment? So what this is is, well, first off, I think it's up for discussion whether Weird Al and Tim Robinson are more famous than me. True. In certain circles. Right. Because in this circle, or we would call this the air bubble. Uh-huh. Of the submersible.

Oh, yeah. In submersible world, I'm actually more famous. Uh-huh. This is one of my designs that I've been working on for years. Right. They decided they wanted to go down and see, you know, most of the planet is covered in water time. I don't have to tell you this, but a lot of people don't know. The most uncharted part of the world is the bottom of the ocean.

And I've been a part of trying to explore that for a long time. So I'm sure you guys are going to throw this up. But yeah, I'm also looking for investors in my personal submersible business. So I guess this is the most direct way of asking this. Okay. Sure. Is your new podcast? just a front to fund your submersible business, which is being bankrolled by these two guys.

Well, you know what they say in the submersible business? No. Podcasting, that's where the money is. Right. And so, you know, it's hard to raise money these days. The oceans are warming. Right. People don't want to go down there.

It's true. And so I'm trying to get to the point where I can constantly. confidently say that, you know, these celebrities fully invested and stand behind, I think, an unexplored way of getting around. Right. You drive a Tesla. I do. Why not drive a personal submersible?

That's battery powered. If you could charge it. This is what Trump's talking about. Can batteries go in water? Right. I don't know. In my submersibles, they can. All right.

Let me ask you this question. If you, I don't. care that you want to do either either of these you have to choose one you have to go into a submersible okay and go back in the same in time the same thing to go visit the titanic oh okay same route kind of like going back in time same route okay on father's day okay or with my father yeah or you to a commercial space ride where you go up and go around uh blast off on a rock pocket and then float around for a couple spins and then come back. And you're with like the seven richest guys, something?

Yeah, there's got to be one rich guy at least, right? So you have to put yourself into those situations. Do you like being closed in like that? It doesn't bother me too badly. I think the, I, submarines is weird. Summarines is tight. Summarines is tight. It's really tight.

Yeah, so when I do watch Humphford the Red October or something like that, I do feel a little bit of that, that itch of like, I don't know. Yeah. But I think these space flights, to be honest, like, unless it's, wait, are we talking the weight, yeah, you do you experience weightlessness? You're going to have weightless. You're going to be blasted off, though. You're going to be in that little capsule sitting.

I think you sit facing up. And then they light it. I'm going to go submersible just because that's my business. Okay. And, you know, we just have to come up with a better name for it. Right now, I was calling it Tidepods. But somebody already had that. So I'm going to just say, yeah, I'm going to go submersible.

Okay. But I don't think so. Really? I think I go to space. But you fly a lot. You just, you have, you haven't had the experience of being in one of our submersibles. So once you do that, you're never going to fly again. my friend. You're going to take a submersible to every gig, to every non-landlocked gig.

Joe, you've been with me on this concierge key journey. Oh, dude. You got it? No. Greg and I, when we were traveling for a prairie home companion live from here, we were both desperate when we found out there was such a thing as concierge key on American Airlines. I would say that 80%, and I'm not exaggerating. 80% of green room conversations around the time we were doing this show were about what lounge, what credit card, what points, and what exclusive benefits one could get while flying. And I came out of it knowing more than I ever wanted to know.

You were actually my tutor in two ways. TM, you got me into meditation. You still do it? Still do it. Nice. Good for you. And flight aware. and basically perks of flight awareness.

And when I found about concier's key, we talked about it constantly. We both hit executive platinum. Yeah. And we both showed each other text messages of like we're in. Yeah. And then, about a year and a half ago, they came a knocking. Okay. There's no way to figure it out, like how many miles you, they don't tell you.

They just show up at your door. At your door with a tag. Yeah. In your bedroom. Heavier than any piece of metal you've ever held. Wow. And it says concierge key and you put it on your luggage and you are now in SUVs being driven to your connecting flight.

Okay. Just being whisked out of the airplane down to the tarmac and to your connecting flight. This is huge. I'm so happy for you. It is. I'm really happy for you. It's such a dream. It's such a dream.

Okay. And is there a concierge key lounge? there's not a concierge key lounge, but you get to go in the flagship lounge and check your bags in the flagship. Okay. No matter what you're flying. Okay. The one thing that they don't do,

which I think they should fix, is there has to be some way when you end up on another flight, like if you're going, like, for some reason there's no American flights and you end up on another airline, there's no way to let the other people know in the waiting area

that you're... Better than them. than them that you're you're so much better than them like i'm just visiting but this is like there should be something going on yeah that these people on united know you got a big shot slumming it today why don't they give the a gate announcement where they say like you know we welcome our service members aboard let's give them a round of applause or whatever i think they should be giving concierge key members of a round of applause i like it because as someone as a man of the people i get so into these um you know i'm so quick to abandon my socialist roots for like some tiny perk

that makes me feel better than someone else i like i and all i want is to yeah be at the gate and being like i'm sorry please hold mr huss is a concierge key member like that's all i want you know it is a dream wow that's so i'm i can't wait to go home and have my wife say how's tom and the first and maybe only thing I tell her is like he finally got concierge key. Can you believe it? Well, they say it at the airport amongst themselves. Yeah. The people that work at American,

they use a term which isn't great for comedians. Yeah. They say, I've got a CK. I don't know. It depends on what kind of comedian you are these days. To be honest, where are you playing? It's just a little like, oh. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah. That's so cool, man. I'm so happy for you. That's how much I've flown since I've seen you, by the way. Yeah. That is like, yeah, it really, you know, I always think about that sequence and up in the air where Clooney, you know, is in the, he's got his case and he, it's just so efficient and you have to have all your little packing cube, you know, you put your stuff in the bowl. And when you fly a lot, and I don't that much anymore, so I don't.

I still have the sense memory of this, but it was more like if one little thing goes wrong, you're just so put out because you're trying to tell other people like, do you understand I do this all the time? And like when you don't do the thing, then my TSA pre doesn't really matter because right now we're in Birmingham and they only have the one line. And so, you know, and that's the stuff where you just,

to try to communicate that is really difficult. You've got to let it roll. You've got to be gracious or else you'll drive yourself crazy. But when they can take you, physically take you and say, Greg, just we see what you're dealing with. Come with us. Yeah. And they bring you around and they give you a lemon sparkling water. And so just rest here.

It takes the stress off. Like literally flying back this week, it was the first time it felt like, oh, summer travels back. families. Everybody. Nobody knows. They never, this is their one trip for the year and they don't know what is going on. We have to, I can't bring my gun. You know, it's just like stuff like that where you're just like, no, man.

Your kids have like utensils in their pockets. And it's just like, it's a shit show right now. Yeah. So anything they can kind of get you around it. Well, I will say, you know, with Tidepods, we have the bubble buddy program. And so if you travel over 200 nautical miles per week, per week. These things are slow.

You're not going airline fast in one of our tidepots. You got to get there. I think I might get too claustrophobic and submersible. I don't really get cluster phobia once in a while. I'll have like a little, I was on a bus in Italy and they just jammed us all in to like take us from the train to the town. Yep. And they're just like stuffed us all in. And I'm in the back and it just had this weird.

moment of, I ain't got to get out of here. Yeah. I'm not liking this. Along some sea cliff and Positano or something. Yeah. No, it wasn't even like the moving of it was, it was just the waiting before you're moving. Yeah. When you're just in there and there's, you just, your brain just tips you off like.

It's like, isn't this how King Tut used to bury people? Yeah, there's no real way out of here. Yeah. That part, yeah, yeah, I don't, I could see myself in the submersible having a nervous breakdown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I could see myself having. But in space. Yeah.

It's just what? Fly. Oh yeah, flying. So you go fly. Dude, I just had this crate. Talk about rich guys and their strange preoccupations. Like super rich guy. You're talking about us or about other people?

Well, I mean, this restaurant, but they're nice. I'm talking like your Bezos and your James Cameron's. You know, these are the guy, one's going up, one's going down. Yeah. Just did the craziest gig for, and I can just say it now. I got this gig that was my buddy who was just like, hey, this hedge fund or this VC fund in San Francisco

wants you guys to come up and do some comedy. Sure, why not? Whatever. Get the invitation. It's for 40 people. It's at the top of like the tallest building in San Francisco. And it's for like the 40

biggest change makers in Silicon Valley. Oh boy. And like no media. you know basically like 40 guys sitting around yeah and then these two guys are going to get up and do some improv and this is very similar to what i just did last week dude i can well we get in there it's Zuckerberg sam altman vincent long or i don't know how you say zimva the CEO of invidia several Nobel prize winners and we got the thing oh my god and it truly really was like, you know, Zuckerberg and Altman will have a conversation for 45 minutes

about the future of synthetic life, followed by a 20-minute improv show. Dude, I was just like, this could not be weirder. Was it on stage at least? Of course not. Of course not. We were in what looked like Bruce Wayne's library. Uh-huh. Like, went up a private elevator into a hundredth floor, opens up, and it was like a private bar in the corner.

But it was like a, it was a think tank, I think. All wood paneled. And then it was 40 people kind of scattered about in chairs. You know, my main man, it's like Chris Saka was there, you know, from like a shark tank. And they're all kind of scattered about. And then the world's biggest, weirdest planter, like a three foot tall planter. And then us in front of. giant windows just being like all right folks good to do a little improv and we we talked about

we're like we just have to do crowd work or something at the top just to kind of like get them involved and then we'll just we'll do 10 minutes of crowd work right and then we'll do 20 minutes of like scenes based on whatever they said uh-huh it was really funny because my buddy goes we're talking to oh i think it was like paul tudor jones was there you know yeah i'm friends with him yeah great guy I really am. Really? He was there. Tell him, I said hi.

Ask him if he stayed for the improv. He's like, hell no. He was there. And I think like, you know, my friend doing some crowd work with some guy and he's like, you know, what are you doing your spare time? And he's like, well, I paint. And he's like, oh, cool painting. We ask a few questions. And then you just switch into comedy mode where you go to the woman sitting next to him.

And my friend goes, and so are you two here together? Oh, no. immediately realized like, of course they're not. You know, of course they're like, they're in this weird thing, you know. And she, and they both kind of like go like, and he goes, no, she won the Nobel Prize in chemistry. And immediately we have to be like, oh yeah, of course. Yep.

You're probably not his date. And then, you know, we had to be like, mm-hmm. And so what's going on with chemistry, you know? It's so insane. What was your game? How did it go with you? You know what? it crushed.

Like the improv crushed. And it was, but then I got super scared because I was like, dude, they all were like coming up to us afterwards and be like, so how do you, how do you do that? Yeah, it's magic.

You know, like you made up all that. You didn't, you know, and it was like, yeah, you know, when you do it for one,

you just kind of do it. Wow. And then I was like, are they trying to like hack, you know, just be like, guys, I have an idea.

How do we, how do we, how do we figure out an AI that can do that, you know? Right. And I did have that moment of like, surely they're not going to disrupt improv because it's the one thing after, you know, puppeteering in poetry that's never going to make you a living.

But like it really was that weird thing of just like having people ask super specific questions of like, so when you said this and he said that, how did you come back to this? Whoa. And it just seemed very Silicon Valley. Whoa. You know, very wild. That's amazing. A weird gig.

Oh, that's so crazy. Yeah. That is an insane room. An insane room. An insane room. God. And then you're just kind of like. all right, see you later.

And then hopefully it's like, maybe I'll run into Chris Saka one day on Shark Tank and be like, what about my tie pods? This is a thing for it. Did you get anyone's numbers? No numbers, but yeah, actually, of all the people I talked to, he was the coolest.

I would say Chris Saka was the coolest. Oh, yeah. Like an actual, like, interesting dude that seemed like he was up to cool stuff. Right. And lives in Montana now and really into climate change technologies to help save the planet and stuff like that. Jeez.

But yeah, a bizarre moment, That is amazing. Where you're like, and I guess like we have to give ourselves credit right of like being like, yeah, they can't do that. Yeah. It's truly something that I would be like, when it comes to this. Yeah, this is my thing. This is my thing. Yeah.

Your thing is making a billion dollars or whatever. Yeah. And, you know, it's the same thing with stand up. I'm sure where you're just like, yeah, at least this, you know, this is a very specific skill and that's why you get to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. What a weird thing.

It is so weird because. I always catch myself in these moments, like, in those situations where you're pretty much the same age as a lot of those guys. Absolutely. You know what I mean? What choices did I make? Where did I? Yeah, like, why, how did? Wait, can I still, can I still do this?

Is it impossible? Or am I, I, I'm kind of locked in. Okay. You made Facebook. You made Facebook. Okay. Wow. Cool, cool, cool.

I got a couple ideas, you know? That is amazing. What was the gig you did that was like, was it a similar thing like money, money people, like investors or something? Yeah, it was lawyers. Lawyers. And it was in this weird we work space. And it was like real successful guy brings me and he just wanted to add comedy to it. Yeah.

And there were no chairs. And there was 20 guys. Yes. Not one woman. And they're all just drinking beer and eating chick filet. Yep. Kind of like, you know. Oh, they are just like us.

Just be, yeah, trying to be like us. Yeah. And they, and now I'm standing among them. Yeah. And now, or we're all going to stop you talking and he's going to talk now. Yeah. And they don't get the, like, how to set somebody up. Whoa, you want to hear my intro?

Yeah. The intro was hilarious. Yeah. Super nice guy. Yeah. I ended up hanging with them, you know, for a while after. They mean well. Yeah.

Yeah. He was completely into it. But his intro, he never intro's comedy. He said, I love this guy. I love this guy, Tom Papa, and I've known him from these podcasts and whatever. And I figured it would be good to have comedy tonight. And then I was like, and they brought up his name. And I was like, Tom Papa, is he, isn't he too big to do this?

And apparently he's not. That's pretty good joke. He wasn't joking. He went, oh, I'm going to shut up now. And they kind of like quickly walked up. Handed me the mic. Thanks so much, Alan. So I just started riffing on them.

Just crowd work. I tried doing a couple jokes. Yeah. They don't care about it. They're just hanging out, making the... The corporate gig is so specific. And I think people don't realize it's like always the ones that you're like, well, you got to kind of do this because they pay.

You know, it's like the ones that you're like, yeah, I'll go to San Francisco to do weird, like improv for Sam Altman. Yeah. But they all, dude, this just happened. This is crazy one. And this is one week after I do the San Francisco gig. I do this show called the Improvite Shakespeare Company. Yeah, which is huge.

Really fun show. So great. And we get a gig to do an app launch. Now, we never do that type of thing. Yeah. It's like a theater show, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But for some reason, our Booker was like, you know, it's this app launch.

It's in a theater. You'll just do your show. We get to the gig. And right before we're like going in, we get a text that's like, hey, guys, don't mention the app. The app's not ready, actually, but it is Jordan's birthday. So just that, you know, okay, just go with that. And we're like, wait, wait, wait, we don't do birthday parties. You know what I mean?

Then you're kind of very suspect. Yeah. So as we're getting dressed, my friend Joey looks down the hall and he's like, I think I just saw Chris Pine walk in. And we're like, okay, cool. I guess Chris Pine knows Jordan or something. And then Jordan comes in and is like, guys, thank you so much for doing this. And it's clear like, it's like, this has been booked as Jordan's birthday.

It's always been. Some kind of switcher was going on here. And we're like, we don't know who Jordan is or whatever. So then we do the show. The show is under the single brightest spotlight you've ever seen. So it was like trying to get out of prison where you're just like, you know, like you can't see the audience. You're being scalded. We do our show.

It goes fine. And then we're coming off stage. And Jack McBrayer pops into our dressing room. And he goes, hey, guys. You know, we know him from Chicago in Second City and saying, hey, guys, come on. I want to introduce you to everybody. And we're like, who, what is this? So we go downstairs.

You're your Shakespeare clothes. In our, like, pirate shirts and soccer socks, you know, and you're just like, so you get changed. You go downstairs and it, Tom, I kid you not. It's Ashton Coucher, Mila Coonis, Austin Butler, Giovanni Ribisi, like, just like this, like, little who's who gaggle of like, you know, A and B plusers. So we're like, what is going? Like, what is this? So finally, and I think I can, I, I don't care. I'll tell this.

we get they're like guys we're uh chris pine is like you know you got come we're going to um gangus coin like come hang out so we're at gangis coin i'm trying to get jack to be like who is what this is after the show done the show done the show going to hang successful successful show and you know austin butler's life has been changed according to him you know he's just like i i i've never seen anything like that you know same same reaction from the the silicon valley guys like how is that possible yeah And I'm like, please, can I be a barista in Dune 3? You know, like, all I want is just like, give me a little sum here. Yeah.

And we go, and then this woman sits at her table and is acting pretty wild. And I'm just like, okay, I don't know who these people are. Yeah. I go to, I find a friend at Genghis Cohen. I'm like, hey, who's at her table? And he's like, oh, that's Bejew Phillips. And I'm like, oh, okay, so that's, and she kept saying, like, my dad was a musician. And I was like, oh, who's your dad?

like not telling and I would be like I don't want to have to play guessing game of who your famous dad was you know and so I'm like oh John Phillips right Mama's in the pop of this Bia Filles Bidu Phillips married to Danny Masterson or no Bizu Phillips is married to Danny Masterson Dany Masterson's brother is Jordan

Oh we got bait and switched into a A weird maybe Scientology thing maybe like a There's something else here now something new From exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls scary as hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now.

We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Yeah. And so then where I'm just like, What is this gig, you know? Yeah.

Are all those people, Scientologists? No. Rebezi is. Rebeci is. And there were some Scientologists up in there. Right. And, you know. And Masterserson was, right?

Masterson was. He's away, right? He's away. For a long time. He's away for a good long time. And that's his brother. Yeah. Oh.

And we were just like, this is the weirdest gig of all time. That is so strange. And now I'm like weird. Where was it? Here? It was at Brain Dead, which is like the old movie theater on Fairfax. Oh, right. And I was like, and now I'm even nervous that I just told this story because I'm just like,

now it's time. I'm just going to find out of five years. But it was like another one of those things where he was just like, what is this gig? You end up in such strange places? Strange places. So bizarre. And I, like, full transparency, I don't think, like, Jordan Masterson was of any way a part of that whole thing. Like, I think as far as I know, he's like a good guy and a nice guy.

Yeah. But it was like one of those things where you're just like, huh. Yeah. What's so crazy. Like I called my wife after the gig and I'm walking through New York and I tell her this funny little story. I'm there with 12 guys. No,

just eye contact because we're all, there's no stage. There's nothing. And she's going, my 12th best lawyer friends. I had literally, I was like, it wasn't bad.

Yeah. I've been in every single situation. Yeah. There's nothing you can come up with that I've been in places where there was an open bar two feet from me. Oh, I know. And they said just do a half hour. You're like, what?

And they don't turn the music off. Like there's so many, it really at this. Ladies and gentlemen, Mambo number five and Tom Papa. Yeah. Isn't it crazy? It is such a funny thing that you take these gigs because you're just like, yeah, I want to work. And you don't really like go down the full.

Like it could be bad. It could be, you know, usually they're good. And this one was like the show was good. And Chris Pine, my close personal friend, Chris Pine is nice. nice guy. How did the Shakespeare thing develop? You know, the Shakespeare thing was just, it started in Chicago where one of the guys who, the guy who started the show was basically just like, hey, could, there's like a short form

game in improv that you like improvise in a different genre or style. Right. And he had the idea of like, could we take that and just make it a 90-minute play, you know, where we do an improvised play. Yeah. based on an audience title. And then the cool thing about it is everybody in the show was kind of a Shakespeare fan, you know, a nerd.

And everybody kind of in the show was an improviser first and a Shakespeare nerd second. But we all kind of got really into like, you know, reading the plays and we would do like meetings with like a professor who would like, you know, give us little quizzes and stuff. So we all got pretty versed. Yeah. And then, you know, I really just like chalk it up to the talent of those

guys is just like you know then i mean i've been doing it for now like since 2005 i've been a really long time so you know now we get to do these great runs so good Kennedy center and things like that and it's been oh really yeah yeah we do the Kennedy center now every year for a month in december for real yeah yeah so that's been a blast because i've only seen it at lago yeah and uh my daughter was blown away yeah she was just like it was it's so good it's so great it really is special It's like the It's Now I'm the

Silicon Valley guys But it's literally So how do you do that? It literally is like wait That you You've seen improv in short Like bursts and whatever But to have a full play

Yeah And it's really really And this is when I find out You start an app That is To figure out How to improvise In the style of Shakespeare

It's like I gave it all the time That day I told him exactly how he did it Then he disrupted the space And he just bought a submerserce company. And now he's off on his own. But did you ever have those gigs where you were just like, like, even in the worst

gigs where you still just like, hell yeah, at least I'm doing the thing, you know, what I mean? Yeah. But not until later. Really? Yeah, I think because your ego's involved younger. Yeah. Or earlier.

You can't believe. There's something like your ego is taking a shot. Like you're in this weird position. Yeah. It's not going well. and I'm to blame. Right, right, right. And then at a certain point, I'm not to blame.

Yeah. It's, I know what I'm doing. Yeah. You guys had great intentions and you, this is not how you put together a show. Right, right. It's completely a mess. Yeah. And that's why I literally, like I did this thing in Salt Lake City that was just, like,

they had no idea what they were doing. And 15 years earlier, I would have been like, oh, my God, screw those people. I am not going up. Yeah. I am not doing this. It's all fear. It's all protecting. Right, right, right. I'm not doing that. You've got to lower the music. You've got to change the lights. Yeah. Now I go,

where's the stage? Yeah. Okay. That rules. I'll see you in 20 minutes. And they're like, what? Okay. I don't care. Yeah, that's cool. I'll just do it. I'll just do it. I still, yeah. It's hilarious. It is, it is an ego thing. You have to like battle. Like I, I remember one time we were doing a gig, like a

college gig. And as we were on stage, like moving around, the risers came separated. And it just started, stage slowly started having a canyon in the middle of it. So that by the end of the show, you're kind of jumping across like an 18-inch gap and just being like, you know, it ends up being like something fun to talk about. But at the time, you're just like, well, if I fall, you know, if I fall into this thing and break my leg, you know, I'll be suing the University of Wisconsin at O'Clair for everything you got, but, you know. I find it even in like clubs. like, and it's so funny, it's just perspective. Yeah.

Like when I was younger, if someone was up there and they were running the light or something. Yeah. And they're killing. You'd be like, all right, you know, like get them off. Like, this is the time. Yeah. And it's just because you want to stop them from killing and get up there and get this over with. Yeah.

And now, this is one of those. Yep. That's where really the mindset now. Yeah. It's, oh, this is one of those. One of those. This is where this guy crushes. Yeah.

He's going on too long. And my set's going to, it's going to be a struggle. Yeah. It's one of those. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's one of those. Yeah. I've seen them all.

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. What an interesting life. Yeah. What's the name of the podcast again? Get it to Dutch. Get it to Dutch. A screenwriter's journey. Is it, I don't want any spoilers, but will there be another season?

You know, that's a great question. Only if all of your viewers and listeners go and hit subscribe right now. Will there be another season? You know, it's an interesting time in podcast. because, you know, like the highly repeatable, no preparation type podcast are so much easier to make. And this one, like you said, like when you listen to it, it's got some production to it. It's got music. It's got sound effects and it has a lot of writing to it. And so that's something that, you know, people don't want to necessarily chill out a lot of money for it these days. But I'm hoping that even, you know, even if we don't end up doing another season that it might even be something,

that we would continue on our own. Because honestly, it was like I said, we had so much fun doing it. So good. And like I said, when you guys kick in, like, all of a sudden, like, you're screwing around these little improv when you're messing around with the apartment. And then it kicks into, like, voices. And, like, they're really reading the thing. It's like, oh, man, these are killers.

I can't wait to hear the rest of them. Thanks for listening. It's, yeah, like going to a movie with your eyes closed. Yeah. Say hi to Holly. I will do. Thanks so much for having me in your gorgeous, gorgeous rest of it. Yes, we can validate your parking.

Is there, would you like to... I parked on the street, Tom. Would you like to... Would you like to leave a review or yell at the staff? The coffee was good. Okay. I didn't even eat it. I'm kind of said I didn't eat the bread the entire time I was doing this podcast.

Has anybody ever done that? There's been a couple people. Samarrell took it and just started chewing it like it was a donut. I think it's better to take it home. Okay, presentation great. Coffee good. It took a little while to hit the table. But, you know, this is the first restaurant I've ever been to where someone simultaneously is, you know, running a tech setup.

Right. While also having to run, you know, hot coffee set of the kitchen. Yeah, but it seems like a job that should be able to be able to be. executed. All restaurants should have streaming capabilities these days. It's something, that's my other business that I'm, if you want to talk about that you're not a sort of weird out Tim Robinson level, but in my new business, which is tech, live streaming, live stream you're eating. Uh-huh. And then, live stream eating. Yeah, live stream eating. Okay. So it's, you know, a very similar setup and I'm still looking for investors. So coffee's decent. Coffee's decent. Service lacking.

Service lacking. Company good. Company good. Company good. Should anyone be fired? I thought now people are sort of quiet quitting. Isn't that the new thing these days? And I wouldn't be surprised if you get a couple of those today, to be honest. I don't think I can do with the abuse. But yeah, we're going to have to probably scale back in this place by about 50% in terms of staffing.

It's inflation. Yeah. And again, that's why I get it for Trump. It's global. Yeah. Thanks for being here. It's great catching up. Always great to see you.

All right, you too. Thanks, man. Got it, shall we?