Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 222 - Chad Daniels

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Chad Daniels tells Tom how Wisconsin and Minnesota are identical, including their lack of Olympic champions. They plan living in the woods on a pontoon boat avoiding X-Games level activities like tandem bikes and paddle boarding. Tom gets uncomfortable with Chad’s past love affair with comedy legend Phyllis Diller. Chad shares his thrilling past as a soda pop felon sent to Camp Cucamonga where he made a pastor sin. Stay tuned for the shocking Pringles taste test of the century. Catch Chad’s new Netflix Special “Empty Nester” out now!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Chad Daniels: With close to a billion streams of his 6 albums to date, Chad Daniels is one of the most listened to comedians of all time. Originally from and still residing in rural Minnesota, Chad has been touring the country for over 20 years. He has made 6 late night appearances to date and is one of only 13 comics to be featured on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien. Chad co-hosts the podcast Middle of Somewhere with co-host Cy Amundson, and recently launched his second podcast, PRETEND PROBLEMS, alongside his girlfriend Kelsey Cook. His kids tell him you can find him on Instagram and TikTok. If you want to know more, you can follow Chad on Instagram and twitter @thatchaddaniels or subscribe to his facebook page @comedianchaddaniels. About Tom: Tom Papa, a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry, has made significant strides in film, television, radio, podcasts, and live performances. Notably, he's a regular on "The Joe Rogan Experience" and various late-night TV shows. Papa's literary skills are evident in his books “We’re All In This Together” and "You’re Doing Great!: And Other Reasons To Stay Alive," a collection of essays, and "Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas," a comedic look at family life. His latest stand-up specials are “Tom Papa: What A Day!” and "Tom Papa: You’re Doing Great!" on Netflix. Beyond comedy, Papa's engagements extend to hosting "What A Joke With Papa And Fortune" on SiriusXM and appearing on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me." His love for baking led to hosting the Food Network series "Baked." As an actor, he's worked with notable figures like Rob Zombie and Steven Soderbergh and has appeared in several films and TV shows, including the HBO film "Behind the Candelabra." Additionally, Papa has contributed as a writer to projects like "Bee Movie" and various TV series. Residing in Los Angeles with his family, Papa continues to balance his professional life with personal interests like baking. Get in touch with or go see Tom live on stage! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa #TomPapa #breakingbreadwithTomPapa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. I wake up with a headache. How come? I'm dehydrated. Well, why don't you drink something? Because then I wake up and I have to pee and then I wake up with a headache because I'm tired. There's no not having a headache anymore. It's breaking bread. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having you. It's a, it's a wonderful thing. We all came here yesterday, getting ready for your, for your appearance to make sure everything and then realized it was actually the next day. But we want you to know that miscommunication. Yeah, everybody just walked out of here so depressed that you, we were all here to do it and you weren't here. Now, do you think they,

they were depressed because I wasn't here or because they actually showed up for work and there was no work to be done? It was you. It was definitely, yeah. Well, I heard people muttering in the elevator. You know when you do the work elevator thing and everyone just kind of keeps in themselves but you just heard people just muttering. I'm Mr. Chad. I can't believe he wasn't there.

We like to start our podcast off with a toast here at the beautiful restaurant that we have. When we toast with water, I learned this. You do a little that. Before? Just now. That takes the evil spirits out. Interesting.

Yeah. I would like to make a toast. I'll make the first toast. I would like to toast to you, my friend, because you have had a long, strong career that's slowly built and built and built. And now you are running around the country because you have this amazing Netflix special. And it's one thing, we talk to a lot of people. I don't enjoy the ones that show up for a couple weeks and get a Netflix special. Sure.

Because they didn't earn it. Your special is great. because you're great and you put in the time and you have a long, strong career. So, hazah to you. Cheers, thank you. Now, you can make a toast if you want, and it can be funnier than that was.

It doesn't have to be funny. I'm going to do this again, because just in case the evil spirits came from my mouth into there. Well, I'll cheers two things. Number one, I texted you kind of unprompted, not a horribly long time ago, but I was like,

I know that you've been doing, theaters and everything. And this is going to be a nut fluff festival. I love it. But I'm just, I'm so thrilled. I'm so thrilled because I loved you from the beginning. And now you're doing all these huge venues and it's awesome to see. Again, it's like an earned situation where you're not just being thrown in because you're the person with the funniest crowd clips. Right. Or the cutest outfit. Right. Exactly. So, so you're there. So let me let me do this. This is, kind of a version of something I just heard. It is, may our comedy careers be buried in a casket made of 100-year wood from a tree that was planted today. Beautiful. Cheers. Cheers. A little scared.

Yeah. You should be. Somebody better get this knife off the table. Well, I just got off the road, so I wasn't able to bake you bread because Delta canceled my flight. But I have bread. But I have bread. from my favorite bread baker in Los Angeles Lodge bread. So you can bring that. I know you're traveling and stuff, but you can probably fit it in your carry-on, right? I could eat that before I get to my hotel. I'm so hungry.

I honestly could eat that right. I'm happy to. If you want to tear into it now, if you're that hungry. I also brought you some beer, but you're off the booze for a while. So here's what I decided to do. I decided to take the summer off.

Summer for me is the hardest time to not drink because you're out on the boat. You're doing, you want a beer in your hand. Yeah. So I said, I'm just going to do that. I'm not going to drink for summer. And then this Netflix special came out. I'm cruising around, having all these opportunities to have drinks with all these great people.

Yeah. And now I'm kind of stuck in this thing because I don't want to give in because I don't want to feel weak. I don't want to tempt you. Not now, Dad. I'm not tempting you. Because all we got, what do we have, Joey, Dosekis? It's not even that great. So, yeah, we're not going to blow it on that.

And then I also bought you because you live in the woods. Yeah. most of the time. Minnesota. Yes. And I figure that's cheese country. It's not Wisconsin, but it's kind of is, right? I mean, it would be, if there wasn't professional football, Minnesota and Wisconsin would be the same state.

Right. But they decided to sew up some pig skin and all of a sudden everybody hates each other. It's the same exact people. You're fat. No, you are. Okay. Well, I have cheese. I have cheese cubes if you want them.

If you're really hungry, I know you've been running around doing a bunch. And we aim to please here. I'll do whatever. I mean, I'm up for anything. It's all up to you. Okay. I'd love some cheese cubes. Joey, can you get the cheese cubes, please?

You know, what's weird is that the cheese cubes actually are not from Wisconsin or Minnesota. I believe they're from Vermont. Also great cheese. Great cheese. Interesting, because there are cheese people. They're a cold weather people. They're not as, like, large as the Wisconsin-Minnesota people.

A lot of hiking to see those beautiful leaves. Right. That's a big Vermont thing. Yeah, they're peepers. Here you go. Cheese cubes. If it makes you happy. Oh, it sure does.

I love cheese. You ever anybody shit their pants on this thing? Yes, or crew? That's so good. I love there's a caveat. I mean, yeah. Isn't cheese grape? My Lord.

So why the no booze? Just as a self-discipline kind of thing? You're just not being a little stoic about it. I'm in the penalty box. It's not court-ordered. But April 8th. I was out in Mesquite, Nevada with my high school friends golfing. Okay.

I was very hungover. 85 degrees, blue skies. I'm with my buddies I've been friends with since kindergarten. And I had a miserable day. Yeah. I was sweaty. I was pissed off. I had a headache.

And I thought, what's the deal, man? You didn't even have that much fun last night. You just stayed up late and drank for no reason. Uh-huh. And so then I thought, I'm going to go through the summer without drinking and see if I'm a happier, better person. And how's it going? You were about a month and a half in? Three months.

Three months in? Since April 8th, yeah. Wow. Oh, you started then. Yep. So three months in and I sleep better. I know that. Yeah.

But that's kind of about it. Because there are times where I go, yeah, who doesn't want to, you know. Yeah. Rip the shirt off of this thing. They're coming at, they're coming at drinking pretty hard in the press. Yeah, because it's, well, oh, oh, you're putting poison in your body, blah, blah, blah. That's what I keep hearing. You know, it's not true, though, right?

Can't be. Yeah, I don't think of this. Then why do I feel awesome when there's poison in my body? Right, exactly. Riddle me that, science. You know, I hear the same thing from the opioid people. Yeah, I know. If it's so bad, why do I feel so cold?

Yeah, you're going to do it all the time. Well, really? I just watched the whole Harry Potter marathon on USA Network on one pill. And glided through the commercials and I wasn't even annoyed. Oh my God. I felt amazing. Now, where is a belt and a needle? Are you excited about the Olympics?

I am. I do enjoy the Olympics. I enjoy the swimming. I enjoy the running. Nice. And I enjoy the gymnastics quite a bit. Yeah. And what country did you root for?

I root for China. And I only say that because I know they're listening right now. On everything. They love our podcast. That is true. I think, okay, of those, though, I'm with you. I like all of them. I'm going to rank your enjoyment of, you said swimming,

track, and gymnastics. I'm going to say, Chad Daniels likes. Track first. Swimming second. Gymnastics third. Close. It's just so close.

Damn it. Swimming first. Swimming first. Track second. Gymnastics third. Unless my daughter's there, then I fake like gymnastics number one. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah. A lot of high-fiving. A lot of pretending we know how to do the routines. A lot of that. A lot of weird flips over the couch. I get a lot of points too with my two daughters when I just keep pointing out how much better the women are than the men. Why can't we get it together?

The girls are just so much more powerful. So great. Yeah, the men, what's the deal? They haven't won. I think they have a bronze medal. In like 34, right? Long time. Yeah, long time.

Some guy on the bars, which I saw the routine and it was outrageous. It was so good. There was a guy. on the pommel horse that was famous years ago. Like when we were a kid. Was that one of the, well,

I was we weren't kids then. I was going to say, I think there were twins from Wisconsin that were on the team and one of them was real good at the pommel horse. Oh, really? There's a girl on, can we say girl or do you say women?

Gymnist? Depends how old they are. Some are under 18. Some are under 18. Right. So we'd call them girls. If she's 26, you say woman, there's a woman from one town over from my hometown in New Jersey, who made the team.

Wow. Yeah. So it's kind of like I'm in the Olympics. Yeah, it feels like it. We don't have any of that stuff. So in northern Minnesota, where I grew up and lived, we either had, there was a team that went for curling. Okay. And if there are athletes that don't look like athletes, it's the curlers.

They're the only one sponsored by beer at the Olympics. And then we had a guy that did the, is it the biathlon where you cross-country ski and then you have to target shoot? And you shoot things. And he was from a town over too. And you're like, that actually checks. That makes sense. That checks.

I bet he also knows how to dig a bunker and stock beans. Yeah. You live in the woods, not you used to live in the woods. Yeah. And now you live in the city, the big old city. Big old city. And then in the summer, I spend my summer up at the lake cabin. And I've told you this, that I have a fantasy about getting a cabin and leaving everyone I know and love.

Yeah. My wife has a big problem with mosquitoes. And a big problem with being in the woods alone. with me. Someone that wants to leave her for the cabin. Yeah, I get it. But I really give me advice if I am going to look for a cabin. What am I looking for?

Well, can I ask where it's going to be, first of all? I'm thinking it's going to be in Minnesota, Upper Michigan. Okay. So then you're going to want year-round. You're going to want probably in floor heat. In floor heat. because it radiates up. You don't want to trap the heat in there

because if you're just on a concrete slab, then you're in deep shit. It's going to get very, very cold no matter how much heat you're pumping in from like a wall split or baseboard heaters. You're going to lose that to the cold that's coming up through that. So that's what I would say, number one.

I would say if you're talking about someone who doesn't want to be in a cabin because of mosquitoes, you're going to want running water. You're going to make sure that they are not shitting on a box of wood, but into a toilet. I'm sorry, explain that? Shitting on a box of wood?

Like an outhouse? Oh, gotcha. Yeah, you're definitely going to want a toilet. Yeah. A proper toilet. And a running toilet. Do you have one? I do have toilets.

So I bought a cabin that is not winterized. Okay. So that's why I'm telling you you have to have in floor heat because I do not. And you want to go sometimes and you can't. Well, you blow the pipes out when it freezes so they don't burst. Right. And then you don't have running water. that whole time. So what I do is I have a five-gallon bucket and I ordered on Amazon a little

toilet seat that snaps onto the five-gallon bucket. And then you put a bag in there, you do your business, and then you feel like a dog, and it kind of sucks. But you get to eat cheese. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen, and honestly, priced way more reasonably than you'd expect for that kind of quality. It just makes everyday cooking

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Head to quince.com slash papa for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's quince, quince, q-u-in-c-com slash papa, P-A-P-A, for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash papa. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. And how far should there be, should it be for my neighbor, for my next, next cabin? Well, on a lake where I am, it's, I mean, there has to be a certain amount of space,

but they are pretty close. Too close? So, depending on what you want to do, right? You want to play loud music? You want to hide a body? You're going to need them further. You want to, like, I have one name. neighbor that comes out, like I have a daughter who's 20, and I have a girlfriend, and they both

wear bikinis on. They sit on the back of the boat and they read and do whatever. And then he comes over and just out on the dock and just talks to him. And it's like, hey, creepy. Can you just be behind the boat not staring down at their cleavage? You fucking weirdo. How old? I mean, Fall Park. 50 something. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's a dangerous age because they're creepy and don't care if you know they're creepy.

Yeah. Those guys just don't care. Yep. And they have just enough body fat where a BB gun doesn't hurt. Yeah, it's not good. I'm not a big boat guy, but I do like to fish. Maybe fish from the shore. Good fish from the shore, fish from the dock.

However, pontoon boats. it's a floating deck. It's basically a deck you just drive out onto the water and that's it. Right. So I don't have any reason to go fast. If I need to pull a tube or something with my nephews and niece, I have a jet ski, boom, take them out, little spin. And then for the cruising, right, the nighttime crew.

And that's when not drinking hurts, too. Yeah. I'm not looking for that much fun at the cabin. You're just looking for solitude? I'm looking for, yeah, I'm looking for coffee. able to cook, like decent. And so then like store stuff, like, you know, some cold stuff, maybe some some bino, some stuff like that.

And then be able to write. Okay. So, you know, I don't need a lot of activities. Sure. So. But do you think the people that don't want a cabin, like your family, do you think they're going to need more activities? Yes.

To let you write. And you be like, hey, I'm going to write. Why don't you take the pun? boat out. Well, let me tell you a little secret about my marriage, Chad. My wife and I love each other. We've been together for 24 years. If anything is going to become a problem to the level of divorce, it will be under the heading activities. She loves a tandem bike. She loves a paddleboard. She loves a hike to nowhere. She loves an activity. and I like a chair.

Yeah, that's... I'm really good with a chair. Can you put a chair on a paddleboard? I guess that's a kayak. I think I'm off the paddleboard thing. The pressure's off because I broke down in paddleboard last year. And a guy put me out in the ocean on it with no instruction. And I broke a rib landing on the paddleboard.

Because he couldn't stay. It was like impossible to stand. And I really gave it the old college. try and landed on my ribs and had a broken rib for the rest of vacation. So it was a sacrifice that I was willing to make because now paddle boards, it's gone. She won't push paddleboard anymore. That's nice, though. So now you need to break a leg on a hike.

Yep. And what was the other? It would be chased by a bear on a tandem bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I hate to do this to you, but this is the time in our show where I ask an uncomfortable question. I'm ready. Let's go.

You okay? Yeah, of course. We're friends. Of course. Right? So you are in a relationship with Kelsey. Kelsey Cook. Kelsey Cook.

He's a comedian as well, yeah. A very funny comedian. And I've interviewed her before. She's a delight. Yeah, she's lovely. And I believe this is the first time you've been. a relationship with a comedian. Correct. Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's the uncomfortable question. I'm ready. And I guess I'm asking this on Kelsey's behalf maybe or there's no agenda. I just,

I know that you've said before that's the person that is the only comedian you've been with. Yeah. And when we were doing our research, we came up with this photo and can you explain that? You know, listen, it was a long time ago. I was in a Barney Fife phase in a, my life and we went for it. We went for it and I tried to get her, tried to get her off the scent. But look how she's looking at me. Yeah. Unbelievable. And we can cut this if you don't want Kelsey to see it. No, it's okay. You sure? It's okay. You know, I guess sometimes when I think, I think, well, comedian or once you start acting, does it take comedian off the table? So I've been telling people I've dated actresses before. Right. But just never a comedian.

I guess I thought maybe. Was this an acting role or were you actually in the in the, uh, Oh, Tom, it was an acting role all right. You weren't a police officer backstage of the show or? She loves me in uniform. Oh, I see. Yeah. Wow.

How long were you with Phyllis Diller? I was probably with her. I mean, through the Scooby-Doo years. Mm-hmm. And, um, I don't know, kind of off and on. Okay. I was the one. that told her she should start smoking a cigarette with that long cigarette holder.

Oh, really? Yeah. I was like, listen, this might be kind of funky. And I don't mean to pry and make it be more uncomfortable, but how did the relationship end? One night we were making love and she said it will never get better than this. And I said, well, then that's it. I'm not going to chase the dragon the rest of my life, Phyllis. And final question, are you Fang in her relationship?

In her act, she would always talk about her ex-fang, and it was always like, are you the inspiration for that? No, I was unfortunately just by Cuspid. I was the one she didn't talk about much. Congratulations on the special. Where'd you get the boots? Oh, I got those, I think, from, those at the Mall of America. And it was at a place, they used to have Bloomingdale's.

Bloomingdale's? Yeah, they're still Bloomingdale's. Okay, there was one there. It's not there anymore. That's the fancy part of the mall. Yeah. You could be at the Macy's end, but you had a special coming on. Well, I bought those.

I've been wearing those boots for seven-ish years. Oh, nice. I've had to get more pairs of them, of course, because they wear out, but they don't make them anymore. Oh, no. So now I'm going to have to find something else. Oh, boy. That's a big problem. Do you have a favorite style outfit?

Yeah. It's always a little in flux. There's always a jacket involved. Yeah, I know that. I've left the tie, the suit and tie behind. But there's always a jacket. When I'm on tour, it's usually just a jacket with a t-shirt underneath and black jeans. And I'll either go like some Nikes or some, I like boots.

I do like boots. Yeah, boots are nice. It's better. But, yeah, that's kind of like, it's so funny. One of those elements gets pulled out and maybe I'm going to go. do something else and Joe will attest to this because we do the radio show. And I, like, for my last special, I'm like, I might not, I don't know what shoes I'm going to wear. And we talked about it for six months.

I think boots are more comfortable. I think boots, I mean, this is an old Nancy Sinatra song, but I do think boots were made for walking because I walked around New York City in those boots and I walked around in some Jordan ones. And my feet felt so much better in the boots. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's... A well-worn boot. I never realized that before. Yeah.

I thought boots were like, well, you wear these, you know, how to eat, and they take them off immediately. Yeah. They're so comfortable. No, they're really good. I would like to go back to boots. But the problem is I had this boot in the same thing, and they stopped making the ones that I liked, this fry, might buy fry. And since then, I've just been in the woods on my own, just completely lost.

And I've even had lists of... like send me cool basketball sneakers like stuff that I'm not aware of that are cool. Yeah. And I feel like such a fraud when I wear them.

I think when you get to a certain age, there are a couple things that make, so in your 20s, you can wear new balance like the 990s, like those chunky running shoes. And people are like, oh my God, that's so cool. You wear them at my age and they go, hey dad.

Exactly. Same with a Hawaiian shirt. shirt. You can wear it. You're cool in your 20s. You get to my age. You look like you're 80 when you have one on. They're like, is that guy Tommy Bahama? I literally, before I came to see you, I'm like, I saw a Hawaiian shirt in my closet, which I never ever wear. It's got boats on it and a tree. And I was like, maybe I'll wear this and put it on. I was like, I don't even know who this guy is in looking in the mirror. I was like, this is not me at all. Yeah. Am I about to try to scam a 65 year old woman out of her life savings on an island?

For working out on the road, I've been wearing my running shoes on the commute, like on the plane. Okay. So I'd have my running shoes. And it's hard because I feel like now I'm in that group of dads. They're just wearing them. I know they're not working out.

Like mine has a purpose, but nobody knows that. You should also have a workout t-shirt that says, I'm wearing these shoes on the plane, like a big long explanation. That has to be a long sleeve tea for all. the words. Yeah.

It is tough. You know, you want to be comfortable when you're traveling, but you don't want to look so out of touch. Yeah. I know. And then, but then you realize, as you wear running shoes more than one flight, and you realize, nobody's looking. Nobody cares.

Right. You know what I mean? You think, wow, when I get to the airport, people are going to be pretty upset, and I'm not wearing my boots. I have a pair of New Balance, 992. I like shoes. And they're from Todd Snyder, the clothing brand. So it's a collab.

So it's him and New Balance. And they are duck camo. And they have little swatches of like fluorescent pink on them. And man, I think they're so great. Really? And I was wearing them around. And my daughter, the whole time we were at the Mall of America, was like, Dad, those shoes are so ugly.

I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe you're wearing these shoes. It's like, now you're a guy that wears camo. And I'm like, but they have pink. I'm not, it's not the camo. It's the pink. Yeah. And then we were going down an escalator and then an up escalator was passing us.

And it was a mom and her daughter. I'm going to say the mom was 60-ish and the daughter was 20-ish. And they said, can you wait for us down at the bottom? And I was like, sure. Came all the way back down, told me they love my shoes. Now I'm going to throw something at you. Black. They were black.

They were black people. And guess what that means? That you're cooler than you're. That's times 10,000 when a white person says they don't like your shoes. So I looked at my daughter and I said, that's generational appreciation of my shoes. That's showing, yeah, that is incredible. Yeah, you're never giving those away. No chance.

No way. And now I have a witness. Yeah. When people are like, those shoes are dumb, I go, hey, Olivia, tell them what happened. We have daughters around the same age. Yeah, mine's 20. I have a 22 and a 20. And what do you think?

I'm pretty great. Yeah, it was tough. Actually, when I dropped my son off at college, he's 25. We were all walking away from, he kind of stayed in this apartment complex. There were 13 buildings and then a main building, like the office and everything. And then there was a pool and a volleyball court. We went to the office to get the keys for his place. and we're walking out, and I have a picture.

I bring it with me on the road. I have it in my bedroom. There's one at the cabin. It's the same picture, but it's us at the beach. And I'm holding his hand and her hand when they're very little. Yeah. And we were in the same formation. And when I dropped him off, I was like, oh, no, like starting to tear up.

And then I just thought to myself, when she goes, I mean, she's my, like, that's it. Yeah. So I thought it was going to be, and it was. It was brutal. Do you have a tough time? Yeah, the first one, I had to pull the car over. We didn't get to go inside because it was COVID. It was 2020.

So we dropped her at the curb. So we didn't, it wasn't extended. It was like we dropped her, said her goodbyes, tried not to cry. And we did a little bit. And then, you know, they ushered her in. And we started pulling away. And I started crying so much. I had to pull the SUV over and just cry it out.

before I couldn't see. I couldn't do anything. I was such a mess. And the second one, same thing. I was like, well, you know, but the second one, I kind of knew the rhythm of what we were going into. Okay. I knew when she was going to come back.

I knew how often I was going to see her. It is a milestone, but that one didn't bring me to my knees. Like if I think about it, even if I keep talking about it now, I will cry. But it didn't, I think knowing that they're. really around. It's almost like it's a break. The first one I thought, oh, that's it. It's over. Sure. And then I realized, no, it's actually just a four-month break. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was, it was, it was, it was tough. Yeah. I was not a fan of it. I would love it. You some great stuff in your special about it. Whoever designed life, it would be nice if you could go, all right, now you're

this age, now you go to college. Yeah. But then just once a year for a week, you're eight again. Yeah. And we get to, we get to, we get to, you could do. You go. All right. You could. You could do that one more time. Yeah. I would really like that. I know. It's really, yeah, it's, it's funny how, like, when you see pictures of them on your phone, like if you ever scroll back to 2008, yeah, and you just like, some days you, it's great and you can watch it. And some days you just look at it and you're like, I can't do it. Where's the time going? I know. And Joe has a baby, just like a one-year-old. And, and it's, It's really, you really in that cliche of like, you want to like grab them by the collar and be like, it's hang on.

It's going to be over before you know it. There's no way. Like, even if you give him that advice and which I do almost daily, uh, there's nothing he can do about it. Yeah. Long days, short years. That's the long day, short years. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, listen to it. God damn it. And you know, if I'm trying to help. Yeah, he's trying to help. Okay, sorry. Well, I'm sorry I'm yelling, but I haven't had kids in my house to yell at for two years. I would say, just start saying goodbye now so you get used to it. That's what I say.

I told people, I go, if you have young kids, stop loving them now. It doesn't hurt his mind. It's really true. We went to look at a day here, and I was almost crying on the way home. We didn't even drop them off there. You just took them to go to the theater. Yeah. Yeah, because you.

It's these stages, right? You go, I'm dropping them off at daycare, and then all of a sudden it's middle school graduation, then it's high school graduation, you know. Tough. Yeah, it's really tough. There's no way around it. But it is cool when they come around as adults

and you get to go visit them, you get to fly places and go hang out with them. I think it's nice to see, obviously it's not a finished product. Right. But it's nice to see what they've taken in so far. Right? Because when you're parenting, you don't really see it.

almost like karate kid. Yeah. When Daniel Laruso was like washing the cars, he's like, what in the fun? And then, you know, next thing you know, he's blocking kicks. Right. So you go, are these kids even listening to me? And then they go off to college and they go, oh, well, I did this and I made this dish that we used to make. Yeah.

And I know that, you know, I have to do this. It's, so it's great to know they were listening. Yeah. But it's still. Okay. So when I look at your life and you got the cabin thing going and then, you, you know, And then you have the kids and all that. And you and Kelsey have been together for how long?

Almost two years. Almost two years. So are you trying to tell me I should get a girlfriend to get through these next years? I think you're going to need to. I think this would be a great time to buy your wife a single bike. You just say, why don't you go explore on your own? And declare I'm never doing another activity again. Right.

And then find a girlfriend who likes chairs. Yes, absolutely. Like, I didn't date my daughter's senior year. Right. So I got to feel what that was like. Right. Being single, like really taking it all in. Yeah.

And there are obviously quality moments. Right. Right? Where you just go, this place is a mess. I'm going to clean it tomorrow. But right now, I don't have to tell anyone that. Right. I don't have to promise anyone that I will clean this tomorrow

because I know I'm going to do it. Right. But, yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty thrilled that, you know, Kelsey and I met and started hanging out. Yeah, that is very cool. You're both very cool people. Do you ever tour together? We don't.

You don't. Yeah. We've done shows together. We did one show where we went on stage together. And we called it Notebook Rebuttal where she would tell a joke she had written about me. But then I had the chance to. kind of tell my side of it. Nice.

I like that. And then vice versa. And it was very, very fun. That's really fun. Because normally when she's on stage and she's doing that, I'm watching in the crowd going, that's not how that happened. Right.

My wife would love that. She was a comedian when we first started going together. And she's done it a little bit since the kids, but not that often. And I can tell whenever there's a joke that she's like, I'm not sure about that one. It really is purely that. It's that she doesn't have,

the chance to come back. You always want a chance. So I said something on another podcast once at very, very beginning of our relationship. And she was, I got home. And she was like, what the fuck, man? And I was like, yeah, but you said that. And you go, yeah, but that wasn't

the context. And I go, man, you still said it. And she's like, well, no, I want to go on there. And I want to tell my side of the story. And so I was like, ah, we should do a show like that. Yeah. We did Leanne Kreischer's podcast. Her wife of the party? Yeah, with with Bert and Bert came on the podcast.

He was about a half bottle of white wine in and was like, I'm coming too and sat down with us. And I thought it was going to be great because it would be my wife's opportunity to be able to claim and set the record straight and all that. But it didn't work out that way because Bert continued to have the whole bottle of wine by himself and he just, none of us really talked. Well, he is the party from wife of the party. It is true.

That's very true. Yeah. Have you done that? Did you go over there? I did. I've done wife of the party. Yeah. And then I've been on fully loaded the last two summers.

Nice. Oh, yeah. So not the whole thing. Yeah. I just can't. Nobody can. Well, there are some people that do it. And you go, man, I don't know.

Or that, the cruise that they do. I can't, I can't possibly have myself on a boat with no escape. And then it's not talking about him. I'm just talking about like just the party. The party. And then also doing the shows and being on the same boat as somebody that's like, hey, I didn't like the joke about this. Right. Well, I'm on this fucking boat for four more days.

So no thank you. Yeah. No, that sounds like a nightmare. I have a buddy that was that started doing boats. And at first I was like, I don't know, you know, because you end up, there's some downsides to being on a boat. On the cruises. And the cruises, yeah. But man, he was going through what he's seen in the last year.

And he had like a good balance. Like he would go out for a bit and he's been all around the world. He's seen the most, he's got friends now literally all around the world from doing that. Yeah, but you still have to do those shows. Is that is the juice worth the squeeze? Yeah. For me, it is not. Yeah.

I can't answer that for him, obviously. Have you done them? Have you, like, I haven't. But the fact that you have to do, you have to have a clean show. and a dirty show. Yeah. And if people don't, like, there's kids there.

I don't mind doing clean comedy. Yeah. I actually, I think it's really fun. Yeah. But the kids, it's different because even though it's clean, it's still, you need an adult brain to know what I'm talking about.

Right. And so then these kids, then it feels a little dirtier. And I just don't like it. I know. People, I think a lot of my shows, I don't know if they advertise them as all ages or it's just there's no restriction on it.

And because I do a lot of stuff on NPR and stuff like that, that 14, 15, like, will come with their parents. And a lot of times the kid is, like, bringing them. And I love it, too. Like, it's very cool. But if I do see them in the audience, I completely become self-conscious and check in with them throughout the show. Yes.

Are you enjoying this? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, really? Yeah. I just talked about, like, people's prostate or whatever, like, getting old. And they're like, they're, but I have to keep checking, like, that they're okay. I'll check that they're okay. And I'll go, so, I mean, I don't want to be a jerk, but do you know why that part is funny?

Did that make sense to you? Yeah. Because you haven't lived that part of your life yet. Yeah. So it is strange. I've had people bring kind of young children to the show. And you go, well, it's 18 and over. And then the club owners will go, yeah, but the parents said, like, they listen to your comedy at home.

I go, well, then have them listen to it at home. I don't want to look at a 10-year-old when I'm talking. about, you know, whatever I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a little tricky. But I remember, I think, I don't know if it was Brian Regan or somebody was talking about when like, when the whole thing, yeah, like a real dirtbag, a real dirty McMouth. And but it was that when the family comes, it's like, that's five people come.

That's five tickets. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if you, or if you're able to open it up, then it's just, you know, yeah. You see a lot of guys working arenas now, which is wild if you think about it. So insane.

Like when we were younger, arena acts maybe two. Yeah. And now it's pretty popular. I know. And you see some of the arena acts, and they'll do the arena, but then behind the stage,

they don't sell those tickets because they have to look at the back of the person. Yeah. But then you see Nate Bargettzee, and it is sold around the arena. He just does it. in the round. Oh, really?

Because he sells every single ticket. And I think, number one, so funny. Yeah. But number two, you have, if I do a show, the mom and dad come. Right. If he does a show, the grandparents, the mom and dad, and all the kids come. That's like 12 tickets versus two. Right.

I mean, and so it's just, it's so great that he is showing people what comedy can be with that selling every single ticket. Yeah. That's pretty remarkable. It's wild. Yeah. But is he happy? Absolutely not. He comes off stage and it's fuck this and fuck that.

All right, let me be clear. That's a joke. You never know. People were going to like, well, I heard Chad Daniels say that you say the after. I think there was a Dick Cavett tells a story about Jack Benny. And Jack Benny, for those out there that are younger than 60, was one of the funniest people. on earth and he was just like so beloved and had this he had like the first successful radio show into sitcom and show business and he was just you know one of the biggest stars ever and beloved by

everybody in the family just like that like everyone and uh he came to do the tonight show and dick cavit was working the tonight show as like a youngster and he was like a page or something and he couldn't believe that Jack Benny was there. First he saw them in the restroom and he said he was there in all of his burberry in his suit and stuff. And he was at the urinal and his hands were just at his side. That's a sign that you've set your penis down in the urinal. It's a power move. It's a huge power move. And then later on, he's on, it was his job to walk the talent down. Okay. I think it was in 30 Rock and take them down the elevator out to wherever they have to go. And he's there with Jack Benny next to Jack Benny.

And a bunch of tourists or fans are in the elevator as well. And they're like, oh, how old are you? You know, you had that bit like, I'm 39. And there's Mr. Benny this. And he's like, yes, yes, yes. And he's talking to them and stuff. And they get down to the lobby and the doors open up and all the regular people pile out. And Jack Bain is like, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And then he turns to young Dick Cabin and goes, sometimes you just want to tell them all to go, fuck themselves. I love when someone like that has a reputation like that. Yeah. I was playing basketball one time and it was when I was in between a junior and senior in high school, I came out here to

Southern California, Rancho Cucamonga. Oh yeah. And I went and I helped them I had just gotten in trouble with the law for breaking soda pop machines with saline solution. Can you explain that? So I took advanced chemistry in high school

because I knew that everyone that took that class was smart and wanted good grades. So I knew if I took it and was their partner, even if I didn't do my homework, they would do it because they wanted good grade. Okay. And I learned in that class that saline solution can cut circuitry. So we did it with a light bulb. But I said to myself, hey, man, what if? We mixed it up and we put it in an ATM. And then my buddy goes, that's a federal offense.

Why don't we try pop machines first? And I'm like, you got it. So we went and tried it. And what happens is you sprayed in the dollar changer. So you get saline in like a little spray bottle? In like a two liter bottle and you put a Don dishwashing cap on it. So it sprays. And then you squeeze it into the dollar changer.

It cuts all the circuits. Whoa. So all the quarters come out. Whoa. And then when you push like the Coke button, all of the Coke drops out. Oh my God. And you're just sitting there like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like a slot machine.

You must have been so happy when it works. We were thrilled enough to do 13 of them, which when you add all that up is a felony. No. Yeah. But I was just before my 18th birthday. Right. So they washed my record after I paid all the, like, the fees. Oh, my God.

And we actually had to pay restitution for the pot machines, which my mom was nice enough to give me a loan. She wrote me a check. Yeah. I went to the bank and I had them bag up a bunch of quarters. and I paid in quarters, which I thought was really funny. Yeah. There you go.

That's for breaking the pot machine. Wow. That is amazing. So then the youth pastor heard about that in my town. And he came over and he goes, hey, heard you're having some trouble. Maybe you'd like to come. And he gave me the whole, you know, Jesus loved finding fishers of men that were rough around the edges. And I'm like, I just need to get out of here for a little bit because I'm a felon.

So I came out here. Rancho Cucamonga. Rancho Cucamonga. That's right. And I started, like, it was to teach Bible camp. And so. That was your job? I'm not really a God guy.

No. But I can tell from your special. I did enjoy. I had the three and four year olds and we just walked around with, no one could get them to settle down. And I just brought a piece of rope with me. And I was like, all right, hang on to this. And we go, hop, two, three, four. And people were like, this kid is a child whisper.

He's unbelievable. He's just like Jesus. Yeah. So then he goes, they go, we want you to try out for our basketball team for this tournament that we plan. I go, all right, let's do it. So we're playing, and I steal it from the main pastor. I steal the ball probably 10 times in a row. He just, like, dribbled way up here, so I'd just go grab the ball.

And finally, he took the ball and kicked it. He punted it, and he just goes, fuck! And I went, what? What? Hearing a pastor say fuck is so wild. And it's not against the rules. It's not even in the book. Right. Yeah.

So they get to say it. But I was just so enamored. I was just like, you think about it. You go, there's no way they would say that. Yeah, of course not. Sure did. Oh, and it's so much sweeter. Oh, it was awesome.

Than coming from like a ne'er-do-well. Yeah. I mean, so people would ask me, I was out here for three weeks. I did a lot of really fun things. And people would ask me, What was your favorite part? And I go, I made the pastor say fuck. I'm really excited about that.

Because you have, you have, I mean, not just this special, but you talk about religion pretty often in your comedy. Yeah, quite a bit. Not as a, not really an advocate. I'm just, do what you want to do. Yeah. I'm a very do what you want to do person. Yeah. But do what you.

That's the point. Do what you want to do. Yeah. I don't want to hear about it. Yeah. I know you're not saving my soul. I appreciate it. But like just,

just do your thing. Right. I think that's across the board. Yeah. Just do your thing. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready to do this thing?

We're going to do a taste test. Yep. Okay. This is very exciting. Okay. Because, you know, we like wine. We like homemade bread. Cheese from Vermont.

Yeah. We try and like lean towards the finer things in life. But I also like to, dabble in what the rest of America is eating. And I find these products that I think we want to learn about. And today I think we're going to test the carnitas taco flavor Pringle. Have you ever had these? Nope. I haven't had a Pringle in, oh, man, long time. Yeah. Are you okay to eat it? Yeah. You remember the old Hedberg joke about Pringles? No. He goes, he goes, man, Pringles are funny.

It looks like they started out as a tennis ball company and then a whole bunch of potato showed up and they go, fuck it, cut them up. He's the best. Legend. All right. So this is a carnitas taco. It's put out by Pringles. They've really gone nuts, Pringle's people.

They've really expanded the number of flavors that they have. And my nephew says that this may be the chip of the summer. It's as if they went into a scientist's laboratory and they said, listen, if you're not going to cure cancer, let's figure out how to make chips taste like Carnitas tacos. What's it smell like to you? Pork. It really does.

That is pretty on the money. Yeah. It's pork with a little zest and a hint of line. A little lime? Yeah. I mean, if you're getting a Carnitas taco, you just described what's in a carnitas taco. This terrifies me.

This feels very matrix. Yeah. Yeah, we're like, here's a chip. There is no spoon. Okay. Wow. That literally tastes exactly, like a little taco at the bottom.

That little picture of the taco. Interesting. Now, hold on. Does this guy always have a mustache? It looks like that. Yes. Okay. Okay.

You thought this was some kind of, appropriation. Yeah, I was wearing a sombrero and someone said that's cultural appropriation and I said, you need to understand something. I bought this in Mexico from a Mexican person. If I give money and they give me this hat, is that not permission? And I'm just asking, I know, listen, I know I look exactly like a guy that would ask that question. I know. Sometimes I don't know the rules. I think you do know the rules. I think people are making up the new rules. We're wrong and I'm surprised you, I'm a little upset you didn't wear it today. All right. So I'm going to give it a, I'm going to, for accuracy, I'm going to give it a nine out of ten. I would also give it a nine

out of ten. And the only reason I'm not giving it a ten on a ten is because I'm honestly terrified how close it was. It really is. Now, I love bringing it. I eat a lot of pringles. Like if I open a can, I can't stop. I don't think I need to eat a lot of these. I don't think I need to eat a lot of them. I think that if I were sitting somewhere and no one was watching, I could finish that can in about three minutes.

Because I took two and then you saw me. I ate one and then I ate the other one. That is not how I remember eating pringles. It is like, ah. So out of ten for just pure pringle, Pringle pleasure? Yeah. You give it a nine?

Absolutely. Yeah, I'm going to lower it a little bit. I'm going to go seven on just the overall experience. Accuracy, nine out of ten. And because you love them so much, I'm going to give you the can. Thank you. Well, at least we can do. I'll tell you really what I like is that what they've done with the shape of it is you can place it over your tongue like a saddle.

And then as soon as you crunch down with your palate into your tongue, it's just flavor explosion. You know the Daffy Duck move with the Pringles? You don't know that? May I have you? Can I take a couple of your Pringles? Wow. Felt like a gift for a while. This was one of my early gags in high school.

You know when you're doing bits? Oh, yeah. When you're in high school and you're starting to become funny, I realize that if you take the Pringles, that you're stacked like that and you just reverse them and, wait. I know. Yeah, you go to this.

You can... Oh, you stick your tongue through. Looks exactly like it, actually. I'm so, wait, I'm fucking it up. Yeah. There you go. Thank you. It's in a while.

It's in a while. It actually looked right if his mouth was shut, and now it looks like he's proclaiming something. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good event you could do for your coach. You want to do it.

I don't know. It's a fire. I just think. Yeah. Can I get the cap? on that. That's a lot. Yeah.

They're really able to just, like, soon they're going to be like, we don't really need the Pringle. You can just put this in a dropper. That's what I'm saying. And that's what terrifies me. It's like in the Matrix. Remember when they go down and they're having the steak dinner? And he explains like, hey, this isn't steak.

This is just whatever. And then they go back up and get unplugged in the ship and they're doing that slop. Yeah. And they're talking about the wine and the whole thing. Yep. It's really where we're headed. They really know how to manipulate us. I think we're here.

In a grand way. I think we're here. Yeah. I think you're right. That is really something. The one that I'm really excited about is the Haban arrow Pringle. You have those? Yes, I do.

Oh, no way. I thought I was going to call you on your shit and then you have it. The only reason I hesitated is because I was going to bring them home. Well, please. These do. I already have mine. I'm not going to have more than that. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Now, habanera is one of the hottest peppers known to man. This has more powder on it, for sure.

Habanero pringle. That's hot. Santa Maria. Wouldn't it be funny if there was no mustache. It was burned off his face from the chip. I find this one more enjoyable than the carnitas taco. You know what I'm going to do. I hope you join me. No way.

You're out of your mind. I'm doing both. What? I'm Daffy Duckin. I'm putting a carnitas taco with habanero. You're just going to put them all at once. Mm-hmm. Wow.

Should I ask me before you divvied them up. Holy cow. There's your flavor. That is a good move. That's very good. when you were a kid what was your what was your you went to like a 7-11 or something what was your go-to buy um probably nibs nibs yeah really love a licorish nib really twizzlers yeah wow that's old school yeah the licorice nib you just roll in there when you're 12

bike no kickstand just drop it didn't have a kickstand that's just added weight when i'm trying to jump bro yeah yeah yeah Put it down over by the air pump. Right. Go in. Probably some skittles. Mm-hmm. Probably some nibs.

Mm-hmm. And then maybe a score bar, which is, you know, what score bar is? Yeah, I know score. That's the toffee, right? Like a Canadian Heath bar. Right. What about a drink? I'd go Mountain Dew.

Yeah. Yeah. So I used to be able to drink like a two liter of Mountain Dew and a bag of Twizzlers, like a big bag. And just watch a movie right before bed. sleep for 14 hours. Yeah. And now if I, if it's raining outside three hours before I go to bed, I have to piss five times at night. It's unbelievable.

It's really insane. It's as if my body, I ran a marathon once, but it was so long ago. And it's if my body goes, I remember that one time he ran a marathon. So maybe we should make sure the cells have every ounce of water. can have just in case he decides to run one again. And then when I'm fully in deep sleep, my body goes, well, I don't think he's going to run it. Release the hounds.

And then I have to pee so much at night. It really is such a, it's such a shame. It's a, yeah. It's a real bummer. It's a real bummer. And you guys over there, you don't, it's not, you're not super young, but you're not there yet. Yeah.

Look at you with your bladders that hold urine. I'm tired of it. It's such a bummer. Like you literally, if you don't want to be all night, you have to stop drinking around three. That's really true. You really have to be like, I'm really thirsty, but I can't. Yeah. I wake up with a headache.

How come I'm dehydrated? Well, why don't you drink something? Because then I wake up and I have to pee and then I wake up with a headache because I'm tired. There's no not having a headache anymore. There's no. I'm so glad you say that because I've been on this little mission lately like, what's causing it?

And I'm like, is it this, this? And I know, I think it's just, this is it now. It's a little bit of everything. Yeah. It's like what are little boys made of? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. It's a little bit of everything that's giving us that. It's such a bummer.

Yeah. Yeah. I just pop Advil like, it's Skittles. It's the new Skittles. I drop my bike over by the pump. I go into 7-11 and I get the big jars of Advil. Well, it's smart. And when you take Advil, do you take two, 400 milligrams?

or do you take three, 600 milligrams? I don't know how many milligrams they are, but I always take two. Okay, I think they're 200 apiece, Advil. Tylenol, I think, is 500 apiece. I take two, but then I read Dave Grohl's autobiography. The storyteller? Yeah.

I loved it. So good. And you remember what he says before he goes out on stage? He has a beer. A Coors Light. A Coors Light and three Advil. And I was like, well, I'm not in the foo fighters, but I got a lot to do today. So I take three when I feel like I'm going to need the extra Dave Grohl edge.

I can't tell you the last time I just took two. I'm not interested. Really? Yeah. It's like 400. I know you can take care of this, this and this. But I also have this. So 600 it is.

I got something done on my tooth. And they gave me Motrin like 600,000. like 600 milag they're like they're big they're like those cheese cubes and I was like I should probably just roll with these right I mean it's just more Advil yeah right so there's no reason not to take them it's not like an opioid situation no but I think I think there's some things that can affect your liver more than others I think Tylenol you're not supposed to drink I think Advil you can drink uh-huh and I think Motrin I have no idea about okay but I also could be wrong on the other shit I said so

Please don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you are. You know, I'm named after. How important is your liver? Well, now that I'm not drinking. Right. What else are you going to use it for? Yeah, absolutely.

I think you can cut your liver in half and donate it, right? And it grows back. I think you can give a kidney to someone. I have a friend that needs a kidney. Really? You interested? Well, it depends. He's a nice guy.

I'm going to need more of a ribney. resume than that. I don't think he neglected it. It's not like he's reckless and you're giving it away to someone's just going to get it and just blow it out. I'm not worried about how someone's losing it. I want to know if he's, is he nice to people? He's very nice to people. He's nice to people.

The problem is you give your kidney away and it's an act of goodwill. And then you have a kidney problem and now you only have a kidney problem. and now you only have one, you're in trouble. That's when you go knock on the door and be like, I'm going to need that back. I hope you've enjoyed recovering, but I'm going to need that kidney back. It is kind of insane, like trying to track down a kidney.

Like you've got to go to different states. There's different, you have a better chance in like Nebraska and you do in California. Really? You got to get registered in all these different places. Why Nebraska? Because there's not as many people looking for them. Really. I think he's just a population thing.

That's interesting. Yeah. I suppose a lot of people can't ask for a kidney in Nebraska because a lot of them are there for witness relocation. That's true. That's what I would think. Yeah. I don't think you can, yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I said, well, what if you were like, what if Jeff Bezos needed a kidney? Is he going to Nebraska and getting on the list? I think he's pretty much just getting a kidney. He's having someone murdered. Listen to me, if Jeff Bezos needs a kidney, make sure you don't know that you match him. Don't go get tested to see if you match him because you will be murdered. Absolutely.

He would get a kidney by the end of the week. No doubt. Right. And then he wouldn't tell anybody. He'd be like, oh, I guess it was a weird test. Yeah. I guess it was a false positive. I'm fine.

With his giant scar on his back. I got this from a shark accident. Yeah. I know. Part of me feels like, well, I'm a good person. I could give him my kidney. But I realized after some reflection that I'm not that good a person. So you're not going to give him the kidney? No, I don't think so. Yeah, now, you have to be a match. Are you a match?

I don't know. Because don't you have to be a match for kidneys? I think you have to be a match for everything, don't you? Well, like the same blood type? I think, yeah, to be a donor of anything, I think you have to have the same blood type. Oh, I don't know my blood type. Wasn't it in the olden days it would be on your license? Because if you got in an accident or something, they'd just look at your license. Be like, oh, he needs O positive.

Oh, but that's, I think probably people got murdered for that, don't you think? Some bouncer just looks at your right day. Yeah, just like, oh, my mom needs a blood sack. Come on home, son. Virginia, Illinois, and Georgia, you can choose to have your bloodline. Virginia, Illinois, and Georgia, you can. elect to have your blood type on there. I get my blood type down in Georgia.

A Steve Harvey production. How are you going to spend the rest of the summer? I am going to go home to the cabin. Nice. I'm going to be there. I do a host a golf tournament every year for people that graduated from my high school. Nice. And then I'm going to Indiana for a wedding.

Nice. I'm going to do, I'm going to perform the ceremony. I'm going to marry them. I'm very looking forward to that. Have you done it before? I have one other time. Yeah. And these are relatives of mine, younger cousins,

and I just love them to death, so I'm excited to do that. That's great. And then nothing. And then I'm going to go home and I'm going to take four weeks. And I'm just going to sit on the back of my pontoon. Oh, that's great. That's it. That's really great.

What are you going to do? You deserve it. I have, this week I'm going out and doing shows. Okay. This weekend and next weekend. And then, and then I'm done. I won't have another stand-up gig until the beginning of September. I feel like it's this big break, but it's not really.

It's like, well, I won't be touring to go do stand-up. But I still will be doing this and I still have my radio show. So I'll still be doing that kind of stuff. But there are two weeks with absolutely nothing in the middle of August that way. Yeah. Well, I get a, here, toast one more time because somebody that can go out on tour in the summer is an actual ticket seller. Because people do not want to go inside in the summer unless they're going to see somebody they absolutely want to see. Yeah. So that's awesome.

Thank you. That's why I go by Nate Gatsy on the poster. Well, this was amazing. Thank you for being here. Yeah. Thanks for having me. And you know, thanks for showing up last night when you thought I was going to be here. We were all here. We were all ready to go. Yeah, that's nice. And I was on. I was on my descent into Salt Lake City for my connecting flight. Well, it's so funny because I just reached out to you just to text because we're pals and I'm like, you want to come on and I know you're running around doing your thing. And if ever I get involved, the scheduling becomes just a hot mess. I'm like, Chad Zim, see you guys on Tuesday.

Well, he said Wednesday. But, uh-oh. The golf tournament, you have a lot of close friends. Yeah. You have a good group that you have a good group. I have a lot of buddies that I've known since kindergarten still.

Oh, it's great. Me too. Yeah, it absolutely means the world of me to get together with them and just take some time because we all have lives and you get older. You have families and all this stuff. But we take the weekend and we just go back.

And we tell a lot of the same stories, but still it's nice to reflect. I'm meeting up with my high school buddies. And on Saturday, my one friend is hosting. We meet for Christmas all the time and now it's moved into the summer. And but, you know, I learned after the last one that we were together, who cares about what's going on now? When you meet up with your high school friends, your third grade friends.

Okay, we'll touch base. How's your wife doing? How's your job going? Yeah, okay. Most of the time should be spent. talking about what you did when you were on your bike going to get some nibs. Yep. There is no, you know, they text about the special.

Yeah. And they go, congratulations. Yeah. And one of them happened to be at the Twins game when I threw the pitch out and he was like, holy shit, I can't believe this. Yeah. But when, yeah, when we get together, it's like, oh, man, remember that girl Teresa that was a senior when we were freshmen?

It's like, yeah, I do. Yeah. Because nobody else knows that. But you guys. Right. And that's what you forget all the other stuff. We should just be going through all of the memories of it. Yeah, the secrets.

Yeah, that's the best. I love it. We'll have a great time. Thanks. Your special's great. Thank you. It's called Empty Nestor. It is on the Netflix.

And then they can go find you out on the World Wide Web and go see you live. Yeah. If you like the special, there's nine more hours to consume if you want to go down a rabbit hole. Yeah. So you can hear all of it. Your first special, what did you look like? I mean just obviously a lot younger clean-shaven I called it busy being awesome

I like that title I like that title I like I wore a powder blue suit and I was like had all these trophies around on the picture I don't know what I was doing but I had the guy that that shot the replacements in Minneapolis shot their cover oh wow and so I was like oh that that would be awesome to get him to take the picture so I was mostly excited about that that's so cool

well congratulations on everything. Thank you. And as far as the Phyllis Diller thing, we'll talk to the editor at the end. And if you want to cut it out, if you don't want people to know, we'll talk about it off air. You know what? I stand by women that I make love with. And we made love together. That's really great. And it's nice that you call her a woman instead of a girl. Well, she was over 26. She was over 56. All right. Thanks so much. Thank you. We got it, boys. I'm