Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 228 - Marc Maron

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Marc fell on his face and made a new special about it. Maron comes to break bread with Tom Papa and talks smoking with Keith Richards and how to avoid owning a cigar shop in a strip mall. Marc gushes over Taylor Swift, patchouli, New Jersey, and Wendy’s. The two talk about how awful acting is and Marc’s new show on Apple TV+ with Owen Wilson, and making Eddie Murphy and Larry David laugh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You know, and then I say, none of my fans are going to be in Vegas on purpose. And even if you're, even if you're my biggest fan. Yeah. Like if you saw a poster of me in the, you know, in the casino at the win or something. Yeah.

You're Mark Maren tonight in the ballroom. Even if you're my biggest fan, you'd be like, that's a lot. Isn't he coming to that place by us? I mean, I don't. We're here to forget about troubles. Exactly. And I know that.

Yeah. I know that about me. I tell people like, I see myself as more of an artisanal act. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I'm the farm and you're the table.

It's breaking bread. But first, a toast. Sure, man. A toast to you, my friend. Thank you. I've, you know,

I've been an admirer of your comedy and you're on guard lifestyle for a long time. And I mentioned this on your podcast. Uh-huh. When your, when your special came out, which is now available.

on vinyl. Look at that. I just brought the vinyl so you could see the cover. For some reason, I'm really proud of that. You should be. Yeah, everyone's like, that's punk, man. It is. That was a bad day for me.

What is that from? That was the day I did the hike I regularly do by myself. Most of the time I go up with a buddy. And I got to the top and I did the regular stretches I do. and I stood up and I blacked out. No. I passed right the fuck out and I woke up with my face on the ground. So this is me coming to and documenting the moment.

And I thought that's got to be the album cover. That is a beautiful picture. I do. And that it's real is just insanely great. I do a whole bit about it now. Oh, my God. It involves Taylor Swift. It's a large closer.

Did you get like why? Why? why young girls like document their grief and stuff? I didn't really add that into it. But no, I was listening to Taylor Swift that day. Yeah. And so there's a whole, it's a, like, it's a fairly long storytelling bit. It's my closer.

I'd share it with you. Yeah, don't blow it. But it's my closer until I can't get rights to the song. Until like, I want to do the special. And I'm like, what are the possibilities are getting the rights to you? using this song. It'll be $300,000. Okay, we don't have to shoot it in a theater.

I can just mention it. No, you can't even mention it. No, we can shoot this special on the street and then I'll have the rights of the song. I said it on your podcast, though. Yeah. Back to my toast. Oh, yeah. It was, in my opinion.

Toasting again? Yeah. Your funniest one. Your funniest one to date. Thank you very much. Really. I appreciate that, Tom, coming from a skilled craftsman as yourself. Thank you.

I was trying to explain to my daughter. I said, I think, well, no, I'm not even going to try that. But I was talking about you, and I said, you said, stay away. Anybody that's like him, if you connect with him at all, do not go near that energy. Let this be a lesson to you. Yeah, yeah. I said, no, Mark has this great way of when he asks you a question, You're pinned either way.

Really? Yeah. And I'm going to do Mark Marin. Okay. I'm asking a question. You play guitar. Okay. You get it?

Slight tone. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either way you answer, you're like, wait, is it cool or not cool if I play guitar? If I say yes, am I screwed? If I say no, I'm screwed. Oh, we're all so sensitive. We really are.

Because I hear you say that about me a lot about my stand-up. And you're like, you're very precise with your jokes. You are. I know. I take pride in it. But when you say it, I'm like, should I be? No, it all comes out of envy. It's not, you know, like the discipline involved in me doing me and you doing you

is just different. Yeah. You know what I mean? But yeah, no, you're precise. You're well crafted. You know, there's footage of me. And very funny. I mean, I've not, I've not said you're not funny.

I'm not avoiding saying that you're funny. Right. It's not some sort of weird go-around. You know, I keep very precise and I enjoy the jackets you choose. There's a thing you do with your hands. It works well. You're trying to get them to laugh. Yeah.

Yeah. What is your, what do you think, what are you doing out there? Are you trying to deliver a joke? No, like I've learned from you. as I have from you. Just that, you know, that there was a time where I don't think I paid as much attention

to structure or pacing. But the thing is, whatever I say about my process or how, you know, I went about it, I'm obviously doing it all the time. Right. But I never give myself credit for having a structure. But obviously I do.

Yeah. But there was a point where between you and probably, I'm trying it like, like there was a spite thing with like Barbiglia, right? So Bibiglia does a very structured thing. And it's long storytelling, but it's very deliberate and they're definitely jokes.

And then, you know, he was doing callbacks. And I remember at some point after Thinky Payne, that special, I'm like, oh, it's callback, the callback, that's the big trick. You think, and I'm talking to nobody to someone I've made up. It's like, oh, you don't think I can. structure an hour, you know, to the air. I can't do callbacks. Yeah, I can't make it seem like I'm a genius by referring to a joke I did 20 minutes ago.

I can fucking do that. But no, but it did help me. There was a point where because of you and, you know, mostly because I saw you mostly more than other people. Yeah. That I was like, why don't you just like take your time, you know, let it sit there. and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Be like Tom.

That's so funny. And I'm over, and I'm in the back while you're on with my little notes, getting ready to go on, going, put your notes away. Yeah. Loosen up. Don't be afraid to stray from every spoken word that you wrote. Just, are you? Just let it go. Yeah, flow a little.

Flow a little. Who cares if it goes, you don't have to kill every time. Yeah. Not here. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Do you really do that? Yeah.

100%. That's your influence. Well, then we're learning from each other. Yeah, that's your influence, for sure. Is this real bread or is this the prop bread that's always here? Now, this bread I got from Lodge bread. It's one of my favorite bakers in L.A. And you're going to go home with that. Okay. And you know I bake bread. I've dropped it at your house. Yeah, it's good. I've given it to you multiple times. But I just got off the road last night, so I didn't have time to bake. So I got this for you instead. Oh, all right. Well, it looks good. It is really good. Do you do a bread like that with sesame seeds? No. I could. Sesame seeds. Oh, good.

It's not hard to do. No, you just take the dough and you roll it in the sesame seeds. Yeah, it's not a big deal. I would do it, but it's too easy. Are you branching out on the breads you make? Who's cigarettes? A little bit. I just have these for prop.

Oh. I like the gravitas that cigarettes. I never really was a smoker. Were you a smoker? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can't get off nicotine my entire life. I just like the, I like, already.

Already I'm like, I'm making a point. Yeah, I guess so. You don't see them around much anymore. No, you don't. But it's so weird when I see them to think that they were such a part of my life for so long, you know, from high school through my mid-30s. But I really haven't smoked in years. What was your first cigarette?

You know, I read an article. I read an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine. And he said he smoked Marlboros and sometimes Newport's. So like I immediately went out and bought. both of those. And then like also... How old are you? 14, 15.

I smoked a lot of different cigarettes. I tried a lot of different. I was fascinated with cigarettes from a young age. Not just by people smoking them. Like back in the day, there was a mall tobacconist. Uh-huh. The Tinder box. And they were, it was sort of like they were in some malls.

With the Native American out front? Uh, no. I don't think so. But it was like sort of pipe tobacco and exotic cigarettes. And I just was, totally enamored by tobacco. Yep. I don't even know why that happened.

Yeah. Happens to the best of us. Yeah. Good. But when I started smoking, I smoked, I tried all the cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember, you know, I went to a summer camp,

music and art summer camp where they let us smoke. Ridiculous. Really? And when I was in high school, you could smoke. They let you smoke. In high school, too. They just couldn't stop it. Yeah, they let us go out in the back.

Yeah, if it was in the courtyard, you could smoke. Right. It's a huge high school. That's so crazy. It's crazy. 16 year old kids, you're like, you could smoke. Yeah, smoke. You can just smoke over there.

And we did. Yeah. It was nuts on planes. Can you imagine? I know. Well, we came up doing clubs where you could smoke and you didn't think about it. But on an airplane, if anyone lit anything on an airplane, you'd be like, what has happened? I know.

Last night when I was flying back, someone burnt the food, like they were preparing the food. And everyone was, was like, what is that? Yeah. Everyone was really freaked out. And the last four rows were designated smoker worlds. They just sit there and smoke. The whole flight.

It's so crazy. It's crazy because there's no way the plane wasn't just filled with that smell. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience. better. That's what I've really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen, and honestly

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Yeah. You know what I mean? It was just, everyone smoked. I smoked on stage. What about the comedy cellar? They had a no smoking section. Yeah. Right?

Like over there was smoking and over here wasn't. Like it mattered. It didn't. Like, when I would host there, I would come home. Were it to a cellar? Yeah, because you go from nine to two. Right. One show.

It used to be one long show. Was the smoking section on stage right? He was on stage right, but it was just filled up like a plane. Yeah. And I would just come home and throw my clothes away. Of course. I remember I set my hair on fire on fire. once on stage.

Did you? Because I had long hair and I had a cigarette in my mouth and I flipped my hair. And there was this moment where there was no laugh and just audience going like, oh, you know, I'm like, what? My hair was on fire. Had to play that off. That was a good night. But I smoked, like I missed the healthy cigarettes. I quit before American spirits.

When did you quit? When did you quit? I think I kind of quit around maybe 99, 2009. because I remember when, no, yeah, that's about right. When I got that first divorce, because I remember me and Mishna, we're just always trying to quit. We had patches on, we're doing patches,

we're doing everything we could. But I think around then I quit, but then I was like, then I would do the, you know, the patches were crazy. Yeah. Like, I was thinking about this today because now I'm on these Zins, you know,

which is nuts. I was off nicotine totally for a few years, and then I just, I'm either on lozenges or Zins, and I've smoked cigars. there were periods of where I would go to J&R cigars in New York and just buy a box of these shitty little brown cigars. Right.

So it was all nicotine. It was no, like I didn't have, like, I don't want to be one of these guys, you know, who, like these cigar bros. Right. Like sometimes when I'm on the road, I'll just be like, I need some drug. I go get a cigar. Right.

And but the fact that you can smoke inside, you're like, oh, I'm just going to smoke it here. And then there's always a little circle of the same guys. Everywhere. Everywhere. I know. And he's just kind of tuck into a corner and you just fight the urge to engage in the conversation. You know, just some real estate agent, this big, dumb cigar, like some old guy.

But they're having a good time. I can't knock them. I just don't. No, but I know what you mean? There's a type. Totally. I know. Because I like a cigar now and again.

Yeah. But nothing makes me not want to smoke than the cover of cigar aficionado. Oh, yeah. we're just going to those places where it's just like, you know, some guys still in their mountain biking outfits. You know, sitting around trying to figure out who the alpha is. There's always one guy holding court. Yeah.

And you know. Talking about Google stock. Yeah, whatever the fuck it is. And it's like such small type of shit. And when you walk in there from our life, you're like, this is the guy. This is the guy holding court. Right. Strip mall cigar store.

This big shot. It is very funny. I go through what you just did. It happens to me all day long. I see people. Yeah. My initial reaction is to shit on them. And then I stop myself and say,

they're having a good time. Yeah, yeah. Give them a break. Yeah, yeah. But it's not my knee-jerk reaction. I have to talk myself into the, he's just having fun. Yeah.

I get that sometimes. I'm not, I don't feel like I'm as maybe I used to be, but now I'm just completely fascinated by everybody's weirdness. That instead of being like, you know, fuck that guy, it's sort of like, what's that life look like? What's he going home to? Yeah. How does that wake up? Yeah.

Yeah. So like, I think that's progress as opposed to be like. How's that wake up? I think that all the time. I really do. I'm like, what is he, what's he, what's his walk to the bathroom like? I know. And like, because I'm very sensitive to like, like, um, you know what gets me mad is, uh, like

when I hike. Yeah. And people like hike past me and I can smell their soap. Like I, you know, I'm just like, oh my God. That's too much information. I don't like, who gets all washed up to go on a hike? I'm very sensitive for fragrances and it really gets me. I'm like, I got to get around these people.

You can smell their soaps. that's what irks me yeah and that you would shower before the hike who would do that and I like and I don't like who might even talk like I've been wearing patchouly you know probably for 40 years I know I think of yeah I think of you I have this little patchouly oil on my desk oh yeah and there's a lavender one and a like a mixed one oh and whenever I take the and I always just like putting it on the paper on my desk while I'm working oh so it's just a sense yeah yeah just kind of fill the room right and you feel like mark's here yeah Pachulia is you, 100%.

But the weird thing is, I don't even smell it anymore. And it is such, it is a brutal, it's like a smell. Like, you know, you're not, no one's like, you know, it's not subtle. No. But I don't register it at all. Wow. You're like a guy who works in the Evada shop. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And I just, I don't know. People always say, like, you know, I get hugs sometimes from people. Yeah. And they're like, ooh, you smell nice. Right. Yeah.

Like a hippie girl. But, uh, but, but I just, I remember who turned me on to it. It was a woman I was dating. Lauren Asmalski from New Jersey. Oh, yeah? Yep. She was kind of a witchy person.

Very rough character. Uh-huh. And she, uh, yeah, she, she wore petulia and I, I just took to it,

and I've been wearing it ever since. What do you mean rough character? Like, she's witchy, but, like, serious about it? Yeah,

a little bit. Like, when I met her, I was in college, I guess, and she, you know, she was,

uh, I went to a bar called the Ratskiller. It was a rock show. And I just saw this girl, and she was like, she's like pretty kind of like stock, stocky, but she had this like black mohawk. And she was just strutting around with her black jeans and her boots. And I'm like, who's that?

And, and she, she was going to the museum school. And I remember the first time I went over to her house. She had this welded. she welded. And she had this metal sculpture of this emaciated woman, and the vagina was just all nails.

And I was like, all right. This is going to be something, huh? All right. Yeah, but I always, I always stayed in touch with her. She was a real character. She was kind of funny. She's very funny. But she was definitely Jersey.

Right. She used to work at the improv years later. She ended up in Seattle, and she actually worked as a server. at the improv in Seattle. What's Jersey mean to you? It's where my relatives were from. Jersey means my grandparents, my aunt, my cousin, my, you know, it was like, like I remember

I've vague memories of being there because I was born there. Yeah. And we, my grandparents lived some of the, my mother's parents lived in Palmton Lakes. is I think Morris County. And my father's parents lived in Bayonne and then later Asbury Park. And my aunt, my father's aunt, who I stayed with as well,

lived in Fort Lee. And then my other aunt lived down in Mammoth. Wow. So. All over. Yeah. But like, so Jersey was really formative in that. You know, we lived in Wayne. Like, yeah.

Wayne, New Jersey was my family up to when I was about six or seven. We were Clifton. Yeah, that's not far. Yeah. Right, that's not far. Yeah, it's right there. Yeah, like Willowbrook.

Yeah, at Willowbrook Mall. Paramus Park. Yep. I remember, I remember, like, Paramus Park. Yeah. Like, we go to Willowbrook, right, my grandmother. And Paramas, they built Paramus Park, and it was like this bold new mall. Yeah.

And I remember my grandmother was, like, before we went to, the first time. She's like, upstairs, they have food from around the world. And it was, it was just a court. Yeah. It was like the first food court. But it was like, really? And I remember going there and eating Greek food for the first time. Oh, wow. You know what they had there? Early. What? Chick-fil-A. It was one of the first chick-fil-a's. Never was the chick-fellie guy. Yeah, my buddy Ben loved it. We'd always split up. We'd go up the escalator. He'd go to Chick-fil-A, and I'd go to to Nathan's. Nathan's hot dogs there, right?

Yeah. I remember when I was in high school, the first Wendy's opened. Wow. And do you remember what a big deal that was? Like, I don't know. Like, it opened really close to the high school. Yeah.

But there was like, you can see them grilling the burgers. They're square. You know? Yeah. It was like huge. What is happening? Fast food. Like, when I was in high school,

like I remember when the first Schlotsky's opened. I don't know Schlottsky's. Swatsky's was. the style was that muffolita sandwich. It was a big round bread. And we were like that, we're going to Schwarzis. Der Wiener Schnitzel. Yeah.

Arbys. They were all represented. They still have, I'm in Canada shooting a show. They still have A&Ws. Oh, they do? In Canada. Oh. And I didn't know it was a Canadian company.

I didn't know that either. We had one nearest at the beach. Right. But do you remember you could get the glass mug? Frosted. Frosted. Frosted glass mug. You got all that slushy business on the side.

It's the best. The best. Like root beer floats. One of the first times I experienced anti-Semitism was Arby-related. It was? Yeah. At Arby's? No.

Some guy, and I knew who it was. Some guy, I came out to my car because in New Mexico, you get your license at 15. So, yeah. So I had a Dotson B-2-10. And some guy had a B-2-10. You did? You got it from my grandfather. It was my second car.

Yeah, that was my first car. First was a Toyota Corolla. I had a corolla. You did? That was probably my second car maybe. Oh, that's funny. A red corolla, fancy one, though. Twin can.

B210 wagon? No. It was like this ship brown B210, not a wagon. Right. It's so funny because I called my, when I got my Toyota Corolla, I got it from my uncle, ran a junkyard in Clifton.

And he said, I got a car for you because I had been saving up for a car. And he goes, come on down. You got to come quick. It's a Toyota. carola, baby shit, baby shit orange. Yeah, that was sort of what the color was. Yeah. It was almost a brown, right?

Uh-huh. Yeah, that was the one I had. But some guy had taken Arby sauces, the horsy sauce and the red sauce. Uh-huh. And you put a Nazi sign and Jewish star on my windshield and Arby sauce, which undermined the message a little bit. There was something

kind of funny that this is anti-Semitic graffiti in Arby sauce. And Arby sauce. And he loaded up my windshield wipers with the two sauces. So when I tried to wipe it, it's just weird. Yeah, I, you know, I... That's weird. It was weird.

That's weird. And it was the first time you'd ever had that in your face like that? Yeah, yeah, Arby sauce anti-Semitism. She's a very, very specific type of anti-Semitism. Yeah. How many Jewish people were in New Mexico at that time? There were a few of us. There was a lot.

There was like probably, you know, I don't know how many families, but there was a couple of congregations. and, you know, I still am friends with a kid I went to Hebrew school with. Yeah. Yeah. He actually called me. Yeah.

That's cool. You know, there's something about that bond. You know, he's still in Albuquerque. But, yeah, is this a problem? No, nothing's a problem. Nothing's a problem. But there was enough, you know, went to Hebrew school, terrorized teachers. Yeah, there was a, I remember there was a janitor who wasn't Jewish, who was,

like this really kind of grisly kind of little guy. He used to smoke camels and he'd let us smoke with him. So we'd go up back and smoke with herb. Really? Yeah, he was this weird kind of New York cowboy. Yeah. Couldn't have been more Jewish for a non-Jew. Really?

Yep. Just caught. And I was just in the air. Yeah, I was a problem, you know, with all the schooling. Just a problem. You were? Yep. Early on.

You didn't like authority from day one. I guess not. Yeah. Just, you know, poorly parented. I was going to say, untethered. It was, yeah, it was, it started with your folks probably. Start with your dad probably. I don't know.

It was just a lack of, like, it all kind of coalesces in that personality that we have, that need for attention. Yeah. But like, I would disrupt classes all the time. I would be told, like, you, I can't teach if you do this. I made teachers cry. An old math teacher popped me in the head with his hand. Really?

Yeah. I got that from a. music teacher. We've got a music teacher. What the hell could you have done? I threw a pen at a drum. He was at the board and I threw a pen and it landed in the drum. Boom, boom, bum, bum.

It scared him. So he sent me outside and he grabbed, he pinned me against the locker by my throat. Wow. I'm in eighth grade. Yeah. Pins me against the locker by my throat. And he goes, one day you're going to learn there's more to life than fucking in football. Wow.

And at the time, I only knew about football. And I was like, what's this other one? Yeah, yeah. He was working out some stuff that guy. He really was. Yeah. And what a, I mean, I just, you know, brushed it off and went back to class. Yeah.

And we didn't talk about it again. I didn't go to the principal and complain about him. Yeah. I just, you know, had red marks on my neck for the rest of the day. And you thought about that for the rest of your life. Turns out the guy was right. or where was he i i'll tell you he is i never liked football but i definitely like the other one yeah and you get to a certain age where you're like maybe this wasn't something to build a life on

right this is a complete waste of time yeah i mean like it certainly was fun but now i'm kind of alone and weird i have a girlfriend i'm not alone honey i don't know if she'll see this i don't want to How long you've been together? It's been a while. It was one of those things that started, you know, in the pandemic, you know, several months after Lynn passed away. You know, I was just, you know, we were just kind of hanging out because we were in, you know, she had her, you know, she was stuck in L.A. And we just, it was pretty casual for a while, but, yeah. And then it just kept going.

And grew. What a romantic story. Yeah. Then, you know, neither one of us. got out so it's a lot the way you describe how a mushroom grows she's all right yeah well that's nice though yeah that's a good thing it is it is but like you know i turn 60 and and there is sort of some reflection going on like uh in terms of uh like i don't think i should have had kids which i didn't yeah but there is the issue of like uh why am i

the man I am. Mm-hmm. How am I twice divorced, no kids, really not great at relationships, not great with intimacy or anything. But I'm okay. Is that okay to be that? Yeah.

I feel like you have been investigating and asking that question for as long as I've known you. I know, and it's like enough already. Yeah. You know, like I mean, this is it, buddy. Yeah, like what's the answer? You got maybe 20 years left. Maybe, you know, find a hobby.

Fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. Isn't that your stand-up? Huh? Isn't that your stand-up? The hobby? Yeah. No, it's my, it's like, it's an ingrained need.

I'll tell you, man, like I've been shooting this show. What show are you doing? Can you say? Yeah. I don't know if they even figured out the title. Right now, it's, I think, tentatively called Rambler. And it's me and, uh, oh, and, uh, oh, Wilson.

Whoa. It's going to be a little touching. You know, it's kind of like, what's your role? Well, the show is about a guy. Are you the guy?

No. Owens the guy. He owns the guy. He was a pro golfer. A big, big time tournament player, you know, really a good golfer.

Yeah. And 20 years ago, he had, you know, some sort of nervous breakdown at a tournament. and he punched a guy and he got thrown out of the league. Peter. Peter Dagger is the other kid. Okay.

And now he's like sort of, you know, down and out, you know, he's in the middle of a divorce. He's working at a sporting good store. And him and I, I'm his old caddy. Okay. And it's sort of his buddy. Nice. And occasionally we hustle guys at bars with a golf hustle.

And it's kind of my role is to, you know, kind of, you know, look out for him in a way. Uh-huh. There's not a tremendous amount of backstory to my character. Right. But he finds some kid on a driving range who's gifted and wants to make him a pro. Like he wants to, you know, mentor him out on the, on the amateur circuit. Okay. And the kids kind of got his own problem.

You know, he had a, like, you know, I guess I can't spoil too much. Like he hasn't been, he was a prodigy and, you know, and he got out of golf. And his mom is, uh, so, uh, you know, he lives with his mom. Right. So Owen needs to get the mom on board, get the kid on board, and get me on board because I own an RV. To go out on the road to do the amateur tour.

Right, right. And which he does. So you're a rag tag family. That's right. And then we pick up this other kid. Cool. They them. They needed the they them represent.

Right, of course. And that's Willie. And she comes along and that's sort of the deal. Oh, that's great. Did you get offered the party? Did you have to audition for it? I got offered it. That's great.

Yeah. You're such a good actor. I appreciate that. You put together a nice body of work now. You too. I would, yeah, but I still have to audition.

I'm still waiting on this audition for the stranger things. And it wasn't even a big role. It doesn't even have a name. Really? And I had to put myself on tape for it. Yeah. In my room, pretending that I was like shot or something.

Yeah. It's humiliating. I, like, and I don't, and I'm not complaining, and I don't really like to admit this. but you know I was offered it and I'm like I don't want to do that I got things to do this summer and you didn't well I did I did I want you know I'm trying to you know spend more time in

New Mexico but like I didn't I didn't see it coming and you know and I really like I'm not like the thing about being a comic and then sort of building your own career out of that podcast or whatever you know I I I make a okay, a good living. I'm not in any way hurting. Right. So, like, that's not incentive. Right.

So, like, it's a weird place to be where they can't hold that over you. Like, well, the money's really good. I'm like, I don't need it. Right. You know? What else you got? Yeah. So it's a very strange thing.

I got to look up this scene from Requiem for a heavyweight. There's a scene in there with, is it, who's it, Rod Steiger? And who plays the reporter, Bogart, I think. Uh-huh. Or, yeah, I think so. where, you know, Bogart gives, you know, all this money back to the fighter

whose Tiger had set up for a fall, gave him a bunch of money to go back to his hometown, you know, and save it. And Stiger's like, what do you mean he gave him the money? You just gave that money away. You didn't care about the money.

How do you even talk to a man like that? Who doesn't have, you know, the idea was like, if money's not important to you, what do we, how do we do business? Right. How do,

where do we start? Right. But, like, negotiating with a, like a feather. Or a sponge. The weird thing was, because I don't do a lot of acting. And for years, I don't even know if I had an agent.

Right. Like, I think there was just a series of agents that did Becky favors. Like, you know, Becky, be like, hey, you're just getting some mark out on the thing, see how he does. And I'd meet these guys. And then it's like, am I still represented? No, you know. Right. Yeah.

I'm like, okay. So it wasn't, it wasn't really the, I always wanted to do it, but it wasn't something I'd chase because I didn't feel I wasn't very good at it. And also, like, you go out for some sitcoms and you're reading these jokes and you're like, I have to say this. Right. Exactly. You know what I do, right? Yeah. And that's still an issue sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so they offer me this thing and I tell my manager, I'm like, I want to do it. And he's like, all right, okay, fine. Right. And then, but here's the thing because of the nature of where show business is at it. You know, an agent gets any. offer and it's kind of a big deal. Yeah.

Because no one's working. No one's working. So it's sort of like, what do you mean? Yeah, please. Just take it. Well, there's, yeah, what's going on here? So I say no and then like, you know, a couple days ago by my manager, like, well, we should go back with something. You know, you give the agent, you know, just, you know, we know you don't want to do it, but maybe just, you know, well, you know, let it make a couple moves.

Right. So I'm like, look, man, I got this podcast to do. and it's my prime money. Yeah. It's my job. And I got to do it a certain way. I got to be here to do it. And I'm like, I got to be able to do the podcast.

And they're like, well, we'll set up here. Like they have no understanding. Yeah. Of what. Of what it's, yeah. Right. What do you need? A room?

We got a room. We can get your room. We can get your microphone. Yeah, yeah. There's a phone in the room. And so I'm like, you know, like I can't do it. I got to come home every two weeks for four days, minimum, to do the other work. And I'm like, that'll do it.

Yeah. I'm out. A couple days later. No problem. They'll make it work. And then I'm like, that's so great. That is cool, though.

Well, that's the thing is like when you really don't care. Yeah. It's like, then they're sort of like, oh, we'll get him. Yeah. It's the girl who ignores you at the bar. Yeah. You're like, oh, no, we'll think we're going to get him. Yeah.

But ultimately what it came down to was like, I know that I need to, there are things I want to work on as an actor. because I don't know if I like it. Yeah. You know, I, you've done so much with them. Well, I've done a lot of it, but there is this element of, and I'm getting over it because it was just kind of childish. You know, the waiting around thing is just unbearable to me.

And, you know, and to wait around then to do like three takes of a thing that takes two minutes. Yeah. And then like, all right, we're going to reset. You know, well, hang out. It was just like, how did you enjoy that? Yeah. I mean, what is the joy of that craft? if that's how you're doing it.

And I know there had to be something about it that was great because I like to act. Yeah. But ultimately it's sort of like if you have big scenes and you're doing it. Right. Like you're like and you're making choices and you're trying things. That's great. But I really couldn't get past the waiting.

So I see, I thought like if I take this, I'll know whether I want to do this. And also, you know, if I say yes to it, like if you get an offer for an Apple show. Yeah. And you tell your agent like, Yeah, I don't want to do it.

They're going to be like, well, go fuck yourself. Right. Maybe we'll find you something else. Yeah. But it's not going to be at the top of our list. Yeah. He's going to say no again. Yeah.

So those are enough reasons, you know, personal to see if I liked it. And then also, you know, get in the games. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good. I know you enjoying the role? Yeah. I mean, there are moments where it's good.

There are moments like I didn't know anything about golf. And I'm not required to play golf, but I had to learn about golf and it didn't sound like I knew about golf. And the stuff when me and, the kid's mother becomes a romantic interest and the stuff with me and Owen. When I have the scenes, yeah, I'm definitely into it

and they like what I do. But for a month, I was like, you know, texting my manager, what, you fucked me. Why'd you make, you know, any, I'm up here doing nothing. What about my stand-up, you fuck? I'm doing nothing.

And it's like, and then I do these things where I know, like I shouldn't text him that. You know, it's like one of those things. I was like, don't send that. And I'm like, no, it's too late. It's going. And, you know, it's usually within an hour.

I'm like, hey, man, that was a little crazy. And then I start worrying like, oh, he's going to be like, fuck this guy. And then I remembered he represented Brett Butler and Caroline Ray. I'm like, I'm a lightweight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you complain once in a while. I'm easy. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment.

And. And. And, uh, than what's happening now. And, uh, you know, we do a little research. Yeah, we found something. And, uh, you guys do. And, uh, horrible people. We're not.

We're just, we just do research. And, because it's summertime. Oh. And I was like, I, I, I, I never picture you at the beach. I never picture you, like, leisure mark. Yeah, I've done it. Leisure time mark. and I want to see, and I don't know where this is.

It looks like you're playing cornhole. Is this you? Yeah. That is me. And is that how you dress when you're just on the leisure time? No. I'm trying to think if that's a real picture. Because I don't think it is a real picture,

because I know where the head came from. You do. Yeah, I know that picture. my head. I don't know what you're talking about. And it's not on that body. I'm pretty sure it is. No. I'm pretty sure you know, I know the guy who took that picture because I don't particularly like that picture. What about those, those slides with socks? That's not how you roll at the beach. No, I don't have slides. But I was wearing jorts yesterday. You were? Yeah. I was wearing jorts. And I almost wore them today, but I figure, I didn't, I realize I'd be on camera. And I wear, I do

You wear sandals. You do? Yep. Oh, that's nice. And I used to always, every summer, man, I was like cargo shorts and, and Hawaiian shirts. So more like this. Oh, I, yeah, that's me. I like the weird-sized flask.

Would you have AI? I do this doesn't even look as good as AI. No, we just found it. It's just in your archives. Sure, that's at my buddy's pool. Yeah. I'm friends with Larry the cable guy. And we spend the summer together. That makes sense to me.

No, I'm not adverse to summer attire. No, okay. No. That's good to know. Like, I used to love it like on the East Coast. Because it gets so fucking hot. Yeah. With that humidity, it's just like necessity.

Yeah. Just Hawaiian shirts and shorts just to stay normal. Right. Yeah. I like to, I don't love going to the beach. Yeah. You don't like sitting. on the sand. I don't mind it, but I don't seek it out. Right. You know, for me to, you know,

this is about as far west as I go. I'm in Glendale. Yeah. And then like, I've literally, like, I think I've missed opportunities. You remember like one Comedy Central and HBO or like down, way down there in Santa Monica? Right. They'd be like, you got a four o'clock meeting. And I'm like, man, I'm going to have to let that possibility go. Yeah. It'll be two hours coming home. Yeah. But any kind of. there's a four o'clock meeting you're like they don't want to meet me right like what is that that's like take an hour and a half to get here and then maybe get home by tonight that's really what goes through my mind as soon as i get it have to audition or do anything i'm just like what are they up to

wait a minute what time is it yeah like if it's anywhere after 2 30 it's like they're like well we got you know yeah what's like like kind of have marks coming in to entertain us yeah let's give a comic hope it's True. And then, yeah, just getting on to the 405 from the 10 out of Santa Monica, you're just like, I don't care. HBO, whoever called me in, I'm not going. It's so far, man. It's so far. It's really ruthless.

I don't like going away. That was the other thing that was stifling me from taking this job. It's like, I'm not, I don't mind go on the road. But when I go on the road, I usually schedule it so I'll go out, you know, do Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then come home for it, even if it's for three days. Yeah, exactly. always come home yeah yeah i mean if i have to stay out a week because it's more convenient i you know i can do yeah but like i just like i'd rather just come home i know even if it's for a day or two yeah and just the idea of like going somewhere and living for the summer oh god what am i what am i gonna do up there

yeah these are things that i've learned because i don't i don't mind being on the road i no that's different though it used to be when we were younger you know you go on the road and just be like what do you even do out here you know you just like i know i know wander around outside of your hotel. It's like, there's nothing near here. I know. You like walk two miles to a mall. Oh, this is good.

Air conditioner. Walk two miles back. I know. I used to be excited when I knew when I was leaving, I'm out of toothpaste. I was like, as I'm packing, I'm like, well, now I'll have something to do and I get there. I'll go get toothpaste.

I'll go. I will immediately go to a Walgreens, to a Whole Foods. Like, I just do these rounds. I'll go that like I'm just going to go look at travel sizes. I don't even need anything. But I wonder what they have at that travel size. They're always coming up with something new.

Yeah. Why is it different now? Like what is your more calm? You stay in nicer hotels. You do. And that's a big deal. It's usually for one night or two nights. You're traveling in first class or business.

Yeah. Always. And but I still do that thing where, you know, I'll take an opener, rent a car. Yep. Drive the drives. Yeah. You got to think like, who can I be in a car with for six hours? In between the gigs.

Who can I talk to for six hours in a car? I don't know if open people realize that that's part of your, you know, you're thinking. Like you're looking at, you can either use a local person, which I'll use. I like to use women or people that will not be like me. Right. And, you know, local people are sometimes are okay. Sometimes they're too green. But sometimes they're like, all right, well, I'll just do this whole run with this one person.

But part of your thing is like, so I had time in the car. What if I say something that I didn't really shouldn't have said? I rent the biggest car I can get. And it's not for any other reason that there's more separation between the driver's seat and the passenger. Just a little more room. Yeah, yeah. Just a little, you know, a couple feet would be good. I've always traveled pretty well with people.

I used to go out with Dean Delray a lot. Nice. The benefit of Delray was he's been like, I know a guy where he makes, you know, these rings or whatever the hell. He's like he always knows a guy everywhere you go. He'll do like all the road manager work. Right. Great barbecue.

And then you're like, all right. Like he's like, you know, he's got an agenda. Where you go to this place? And you don't even have a choice with Dean. He's like, we're going in this place. We want you to see this jacket. Oh, we have to, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We're in Tulsa, you gotta go. Yeah. And that was fun for a while. But then I toured a lot with Lara Bites. Oh, I love Lara. Yeah, she's great. She's great.

And then it's just sort of like talking about the issues for hours and hours. We're talking about food. We're talking about booze. We're talking about, you know, relationships. That was good. It was like an ongoing meeting of something. Yeah. And then I always felt like I let her down because I wasn't.

I didn't have a lot to talk about. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, no, but it's not unlike any other relationship is that after you do all the talking, you've got to be comfortable to just sit there in that car. Right. With that person, you know. I toured with, I did a road run with Little Esther.

Oh, yeah. And that was good. Yeah. Yeah, we had a good time. That's all right. And then I just did one with this woman, Claire O'Kane, and that was okay, like-minded. And when you say you do a run, do you take one person and do, like, all your dates for that run? Yeah, that's the thing.

like, you know, if I got to do the Midwest, like, what did Claire and I do? We did, like, what was that one run? We did, like, Minneapolis, you know, Chicago. Would Pittsburgh fit in there? Like, it was one of those words where we landed someplace, you get the car, and then you drive across. Right, right. You know, we did two runs like that.

Right. We did Pittsburgh, but she's an arty person, and we went to see this museum. We did stuff. Oh. I like Pittsburgh. I like Pittsburgh, too. It's one of those places where you're like, this is a pretty cool place. Yeah, I know.

And then you realize like it's near nothing. Yeah, and I'm not here in March. Right. But it's a very pretty city. Yeah, it is. So yeah, but being up in Vancouver, that was the other thing I had to learn once I got through my, you know, diva behavior. It's like, dude, you know, I'm in this condo. It's nice, fully furnished.

Yeah. I can cook there. Go find the whole foods. Right. Go, you know, do your cooking. do the routines that make you grounded. And, you know, there's an equinox like five minutes away. Yeah.

And there's a gym in the building, but I don't like those. I don't like those. Yeah, no, it's the worst. Or condo gyms. So I go to Equinox, I cook my food. Yeah. You know, I get, you know, into a routine like that. And you know what was the real gift?

Was I figured out how to connect to the Samsung TV and the trailer. Oh, that's nice. Dude. Game change. Really? Because those Samsungs, they're just phones. Yeah. So if you put, if you hook up Netflix, you know, to log in, it'll just do one of those little boxes and you hold up your phone and you're like, I got my Netflix.

You can get all your shit. Right. Because before you get in one of those trailers and you'd be like the TV, it doesn't look like it works. You're just opening the door. Because somebody help. Yeah. There's like, what is this, what is this equipment in here? You don't feel like it's ever hooked up.

But they've got Wi-Fi in the trailer. and I've got the TV, you know, hooked up to Netflix and stuff, and I'm like, I can handle this. Watching a lot of movies. I got to say, just you describing that for some reason in my head. I'm like, yeah, acting does suck. You got to love it, man. I know, but you have to build up those things.

It's a different kind of boredom because you're not doing a show at the end of the night. And also you're just sitting there like, you'd like to think, like, well, I'll read. But it's like, it's not going to happen, dude. No, you're too distracted. You're waiting for the guy to come knock on the door. And you've got your script to deal with. You should be going over your lines. But sometimes you're in there for a couple hours.

Yeah. Like, you know. And that's when the movies come in. And I've watched a lot of stuff that I, you know, I probably wouldn't have watched. But also like, it's also a matter of like taking opportunities that challenge you. Like this character is not terribly challenging. But it's okay. And it requires a certain emotional thing to be, for Owen and I to,

seem like we've been friends for 20 or 30 years. Yeah. You know, like when I went up there, him and I hung out, we went out to dinner, you know, and I can adapt to anybody,

really. I'm pretty, you know, once you get to know me, despite whatever my public facing disposition is, or however, I ask you whether you can play guitar or not. I mean,

you, you know, you know, like you're a guy that, you know, knows that I'm a pretty sensitive, okay, nice guy.

A hundred percent. Not everyone knows that. Yeah. But like, I am pretty adaptable. Right. You know, I'm not some sort of,

like, you just like go fuck yourself right exactly you know it's really just sort of go fuck yourself but i but i'm okay you know yeah it's an adorable go fuck yourself so we you know we had a way into that but when i did that movie uh too leslie which got a lot of attention i didn't think anyone would see it yeah it was one of those things where i didn't want to do that either uh this guy michael morris the director he's like we want you and i read the script i'm like we want me for just get a some one of these cowboy character actors yeah to do this Texan guy.

Yeah. Get John Hawks. Get a guy who can, like, sleep through this role. Yeah. And he's like, no, we want you. And my manager kept saying he wants you. I'm like, that's not possible. Who doesn't want to do this?

Everybody? Right. How am I? Yeah, why did you get to me? How did you get to me? Yeah. Who must have fucking passed on this? And, you know, eventually, like, I get this text from Chelsea Handler.

Uh-huh. Who's apparently was friends with the director. Uh-huh. You need to talk to my friend, Michael. He wants to talk to you to talk to you about. doing the movie. And you don't want to piss her off. Coming for you. No, not Chelsea. Right. So I'm like, I got to talk to this guy. And, you know, he's like, look, I was a huge fan of the last season of Marin. And I'm like, oh, he really does want me. Maybe I got to figure this out.

And it was, it was during COVID. You know, peak COVID. It was a, you know, I was only needed for two weeks. They were going to shoot it out in 19 days on film. And the other actress is, is Andrea Riceborough, who's like a wizard. Yeah. Do you work with her? No. But I didn't really know anything about it. And I was just, I'm talking to Michael Morris. I'm like, all right, but I'm not, I can't do an accent.

I'm not doing an accent. And he's like, all right, don't worry about that. And I'm like, all right. And is this after Lynn? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was still pretty right after. Pretty right after. I was pretty shook up, you know, pretty fucked up still.

Yeah. But then I realized like, dude, you want to act, you know, do the accent, figure it out. You said this to yourself. Yeah. Because what happened was, I didn't think anybody would see the movie, number one. And number two,

I just interviewed James Kahn. And I'd watched a lot of his old movies. Oh, yeah. And, like, he tried some accents. It wasn't great. Yeah. Like early on, like early James Kahn. And I'm like, you're not nailing this.

Yeah. So I'm like, if you can fucking try it, right? Yeah. As long as not Boston. Don't ever fuck with the Boston. Yeah. Right.

It sounds like you're kidding. Yeah, there's no way. Unless you're an Affleck. Like, unless you're Casey, unless you come from there. I just saw Matt and Casey Affleck's. How was that? Instigators. How is it?

It's great. It's really fun. It's like a fun, like, heist kind of a movie. But Boston accents. But they can do it. They can do it. They can do it. They can do it.

That Duncan Donuts advertisement parody from SNL is the best. It's so good. It is the best thing about Boston. Because I lived there for years. Yeah. And those guys used to terrify him. Just the regular Irish Boston guys. Yeah.

But Casey is like, oh my God. He's so good. Yeah. I am outside, Mac. It's so good. He's really funny. In this movie, he's really funny. Is he?

Yeah. Yeah, he's really good. So anyways, I call this dialect coach. A big shot. Uh-huh. And I'm like, all right, so what are we going to do with this? This Texan accent. She goes, well, Texans don't really have an accent.

It's a lot of different things. And I'm like, all right, I don't know what that means. So what am I going to do? But already you feel better. Yeah. Just hearing they don't have an accent. And then she goes, I think we'll do Lubbock. And I'm like, okay.

I don't know what that means. Only Fred Armisen knows what that means. Yeah. So she sends me all these links to the Lubbic accent. I'm like, all right, so I'll go check this out. And for some reason, they were just links to interviews with Mac Davis. Uh-huh. The actor.

sinner guy. Yeah. And they weren't even televised interviews. They were like Grammy Association interviews. So like, this is, this was the prime example of a lexic accent, which is subtle. Uh-huh. And so I'm like, all right. So what do I do now?

And then they just make you that key, the phonetic key of like how to say words, you know, like consonant, silver, you know, like examples of how certain words are said, you know, vowel sounds and everything. And then I had that. And I would just plug it in, you know, for this. scenes. I'd make my choices and then I'd read it through with this and I did it. And I got pretty good reaction. Yeah. No one said I tanked it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was legit. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, what was he doing? Yeah, yeah. No, it was because it was subtle. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to

compliment you. Sorry. I know. It's going to be uncomfortable. But the reason you're such a good actor is because you have a quality to you naturally that is unknowable. You're always, you're one of those people who, and I've known you forever. Yeah. I know you really well. Yeah. I don't really know you. Right.

Like there's always a little, what is he up to? Yeah. Which is great for actors. Yeah. It makes you lean in. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

That's good. And you can't cultivate it. It's just you. Oh, good. But it's great. It really, that, I really believe that. Well, thanks, buddy. The most interesting actors are like, what's up?

Yeah, yeah, what's going on with that guy? Yeah. Yeah, like there's an emotional component. Yeah, and you've, to be able to take that naturally and put it into roles. Yeah. I appreciate that. I'm trying, you know. But the weird thing with me is like, you know, I make all these choices,

put the backstory in place, they do all that stuff. But usually within three weeks, I'm like, I'm just doing me. I don't think I'm, I don't think I'm doing it. Well, everybody is. I saw. What were we watching with Philip Seymour Hoffman? Remember when he was young? He was really young.

Oh, scent of a woman. Sent of a woman. He's got this little part in that. He's a kid, right? He's like young. Yeah. Oh, he's one of the students at the school? Yeah.

Every Philip Seymour Hoffman move that he had throughout his... It's all there. It's just... Well, he said that. He was pretty clear about, like, you know, it's always me. Yeah. You know, and I know that too. Yeah.

Yeah, but you do want to look like you're doing a thing. Like, I can be present and listen and be in it. Yeah, yeah. But you want to at least like it look like you're making choices. Yeah. Like, because I did, I did this little part, and I just watched the movie. Jude Law's company made a movie about the first domestic terrorist organization in America. The order they were called that of Washington, D.C. was the 80s.

and they'd rob some banks and blown some shit up. They were also the ones that killed Allen Berg. You know, that radio host, talk radio host in Denver. Right. That the talk radio was kind of based on that. He was a real guy, Alan Berg, it was in the 80s, and they gunned him down. They drove down there to Denver to kill this Jewish,

it was before talk radio, really. It wasn't like he was left leaning. Before Limbaugh and all that. And he was out, you know, out as a Jew. And I get this offer that my manager goes, would you want to play Allen Berg? And I'm like, who else is going to play Alan Berg? Right.

Like, if I play it, maybe it won't happen to me, what happened to him. Right. And, like, you know, I had to sort of get up to speed. It was only really two or three scenes. But I had to get up, but it's a pivotal part of the movie. I had to get up to speed on him, understand him, listen to what existed. of his stuff and he had a very strange haircut. Like it was all sort of combed forward and cut like this.

Yeah. And it was kind of gray and ginger because he was hiding these scars from surgery. And he had a full beard. So I could, I kind of man, I could manufacture the little. Yeah, yeah. But the weird thing about what him was is he was a displaced Midwesterner.

Like he was in Denver, but he was originally Chicago guy. So there was this hint of that. And I'm like, this is a real guy. I got to try to get this right. You know, and I tried to,

you know, I kind of like, I looked at some Chicago talkers, you know, my girlfriend's Chicago and tried it, but it wasn't overt. There was just occasionally it would come through. And I tried to put that in place. And so I did literally two or three days here. Like it was me riffing on the mic and doing some scripted stuff, you know, and then, you know, just me driving and then me getting out of my car and getting blown away. Right.

With squibs and the whole thing. Whoa. But I just watched the cut of it. And I was like, I did, I could hear it. I could hear a little Chicago. Yeah. Like I got a little with that in there. Yeah.

And I was like, all right. I did some work. Was it weird getting to know him and getting to know what that real, what his real fate was? Like that. Just that anti-Semitism. Yeah. Well, it was like, thing that's so prevalent now at the moment.

Well, it was less prevalent then, but it did, it was real. But the order itself. It was really the grassroots of this type of, they had, you know, a kind of terror agenda of white supremacy. And they were a real crew. So, you know, just, you know, seeing what they were doing. They were rob making big robberies to bankroll weapons and recruit and everything else. And why they chose that guy, you know, out of everyone, you know, and he was so far away. I don't know.

Because it wasn't like he was that in your face. Or influential. Yeah. I mean, maybe it was regionally. I mean, there are people that still remember him and stuff. Yeah. So I don't know why they chose him. It was because he was a public Jew that, you know, that was pushing back on conservative morality and anti-Semitic people.

But, you know, he talked about a lot of things. I don't know why they picked him. It was brutal, you know, that that happened to him. But it was, it's also a fear you live with, you know. Yeah. Back to Arby's. Sure. Back to Arby's.

We're also going out like, you know, just being publicly liberal and, you know, sort of left-leaning. Because I talk about that stuff. Yeah, you do. It's not my whole act. No, but it's a part of it. Definitely. There's always a part of my act that's about that. Yeah.

And man, like, you know, after Trump won that first term, like I, I wouldn't give my real name at hotels. Yeah, I just didn't want to deal with it. It's crazy. But also I'm like, I'm not that much on the radar. Like, someone would really have to be like, we're going to go after that guy. But they're saying with Albert. Yeah, but you never know. Yeah, you're right.

Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, I had to, you know, I got, you know, I got nervous. Yeah. Because some clubs you go into it, it's like, what if there's no security here? Yeah. And then, like, you got to wand people. I don't want to fucking deal with this.

It's so bizarre. Yeah. I remember when I first went on the road and I went with Mitch Vatel. and we drove down south. Yeah. That was the first time I, because I grew up in New Jersey, and half our school was Jewish. Right.

It was the first time, like, other than the huge events, thinking that America had parts that were against the Jews. Like, it was, oh, no, this is, you're a minority and not really that welcome. That was the first time that I actually felt like, wait, in this country now? it's bizarre. It's bizarre how it's never gone away.

It's never gone away in the world. It's biblical. Yeah. I know. It's biblical. It's like from the beginning. Did you guys, did he didn't experience any anti-summage?

No, but it was like there was, you know, you're checking in places and you're giving your name and whatever, but there was, there was a little bit of a, you think so?

Yeah, it was different than me just walking in. Yeah. Tommy white guy. Yeah, yeah. You know, you don't have a, Mitchgo looks kind of Italian. There's a little bit of a,

a little bit of a, a little, bit about who? Yeah, yeah. Just that beat. But sometimes that's just from city folk. Yeah, or northerners. Sure.

Yeah. You know, like if you wear a certain shirt, they're like, well, we got one of these guys here. Yeah. It's wearing a belt. Yeah, yeah. Well, they like belts. They're a belt people.

They're very proud of their buckles sometimes. Yeah. That is bizarre. It's bizarre. It's still, it's just so, there's so many fucking. guns around. I know. There's like about a hundred million more guns than there are people in this country. There's like, I think it's like, I did the numbers because like being in Canada, you know, I applied for permanent residency in Canada a few years ago, which is like a visa,

which, uh, if you spend two out of five years there, uh, not in a row, you know, you can, you can use their health care and you, and you can work. Oh, wow. But I just did it because, you know, if and what. when, you know, we all end up refugees heading for, heading north. Right. I want to be the Jew with the papers. I don't want to be holding a pilot script. I, I applied.

Yeah. And I can come in. See you later, fellas. Josh, Barry. Do you, Seth? You don't get much reaction, though, off of your stand-up, like your specials and stuff, do you? Like, in that vein of, like, hate and stuff? Yeah, again, I'm not.

Like, I think that my stand-up is not that strident. And I think that, here's the one thing I know about me. Like with, you know, if I'm targeted by the anti-woke idiots, is that like, you know, I'm not, I'm not some clean machine. You know, I'm not, like, I've paid, no one can take away my place. They can't say anything about, like, I paid my fucking dues. Right. And, you know, and I'm not, you know, squeamish and I'm not, you know, overly striding.

And I can be pretty filthy. Yeah. So, like, it's not that I ride a line. I don't think, you know, I won't go. We've talked about it. I'm not going to be asked to play the mothership anytime soon. And if I were, I don't know how to feel about that because I feel like there's tension. But, but no, I mean, occasionally, you know, yesterday just by a nobody who's like, you know, no one wants to listen to you, dumb Jew.

That happens. But not like Sarah Silverman gets. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Occasionally. Right.

But it's not like a. Yeah, I didn't think so. What do you call it? There's not a drumbeat of that with me. Right. Yeah. And also, like in the anti-woke stuff, like, it's not like you've all of a sudden changed and pivoted due to the times.

You've always been exactly you. And you haven't reacted to whatever the environment is. Yeah, I just don't know. I still really don't know, you know, what the fuck they're talking about. Right. And, you know, I just, I tried to. address it like that. Right. Like it just really becomes about like, wait, so you're against tolerance? You know what I mean? Like you're against decency. What are we against? You're against, you know,

people that have a hard enough time living their life, living their life. Okay. So I don't think I can get on board with that. I don't know. Yeah. We would have to put emphasis just to remind people that these people are, have a hard time by making them have a hard time. Yeah, let's make it more difficult for the people that have difficult time. That's my policy. Yeah. So like, and I feel like I have to push back on it because everybody's so nervous. Mm-hmm.

But it's so hacky now. Like the whole position of anti-wokeness is just sort of like, it's like, you know, it's hack. Yeah. You know, you got people that, you know, no one knows doing 10 minutes going, I might get canceled. I'm like, you're not. Right. Exactly.

You're not going to. I'm so dangerous. It's not real edginess either. There's no courage to it. Yeah. Especially because everyone's got their own. Like they, you know,

it's so tribalized and divided. Like, that's what the amazing thing is about still doing the store or whatever. It's like, you know, you do comedy for everybody. And,

you know, if people don't like it, it's not, you know, because of, you know, like you don't represent. Like,

it's just, that's the job. And we all get spoiled when you, get a following. Right. Because you're walking into a theater. Like, are you nervous?

Like, why? I didn't, these people know me. Yeah, right. Exactly. How am I going to fuck this up unless I intentionally fuck it up? Right. Right. And my audience is very, it's very interesting to me because, and it's telling to me,

because however I see myself, and it speaks to the thing that we were just talking about. Yeah, I mean, you know, you can see through my shit. There are people that have known me for years or just know, like, you know, can just get under whatever this other thing. There are people that are like, I don't know, Mark seems cocky or condescending or aloof. And then there are people like, that guy does? You know what I mean? Like, I'm pretty easy.

Yeah. But like my audience, it's like a lot of people, grownups, middle-aged people, like-minded people, a lot of middle-aged women. Some, you know, sensitive, angry, younger people. You know, but it is, I manifested them. Yeah. I brought them. there. So when I look at them all waiting to come see me or if I'm eating at the restaurant

next to the venue and they're walking by, I'm like, how did this happen? These people all look like reasonable, nice people with responsible lives. And I'm like, I'm a monster. Well, I think that's the, I think that's the cool thing about comedy is that you're, you, it doesn't really matter what you're talking about and what you're dressing it up as. Your essence, your humanity comes through. Right. They know you. Right. Exactly. They know you. They know you. Even if they don't know you when you walk up at the comedy store and those, those aren't your fans. They just happen to be there on that night.

But they know you when you get them come out. They get an essence of this guy. Yeah. And they kind of know me. Like, you know, I'm not, I'm a known, you know, quantity. Yeah. But like when I see my people, it's very sweet because like, because I realize what I do and what I've cultivated, you know, from the podcast too, you know, it's like sort of like,

you know, let's go watch Mark struggle. Right. With himself. Yeah. That seems like a nice evening. Yeah. I need to stop thinking about myself. Yeah, yeah.

Mark's going to struggle for us. It's really true. Well, I do a joke about that. I tell me there's a bigger part of a joke where I'm like, you know, I don't play casinos. Well, I don't, like, I don't, I just don't do it. Yeah. You know, and then I say, none of my fans are going to be in Vegas on purpose. You know, like, if they're in Vegas, they're walking around going like, why did Jenny have to have it here?

I hate this place. And even if you're my biggest fan, like if you saw a poster of me in the, you know, in the casino at the win or something. Yeah. You mark Marin tonight in the ballroom. Even if you're my biggest fan, you'd be like, that's a lot. You know, and, you know, we're just getting used to being here. Isn't he coming to that place by us?

I mean, I don't. We're here to forget about troubles. Exactly. And I know that. Yeah. I know that about me. I tell people like, I see myself as more of an artistic. an al act you know yeah yeah yeah I'm the farm and you're the table you know it's this funny like

this this reminds me I had a very funny moment on the podcast it was one of the best moments I've ever had my life uh and it has to do with something like this what do you mean well you know during COVID we were doing this uh the you know the zoom type of things uh-huh and I got an opportunity to interview Eddie Murphy well and I know like he's one of those guys like I heard that I'd listen to that Well, that moment at the beginning was one of the greatest moments. Because, like, he can be serious if you don't get him into the zone. And I just didn't, like, you know, he was sitting somewhere. He come up on the Zoom and he's sitting in something like this.

Like, I could see it's like a booth and it's like the red weather. And I'm looking at him. And I said, you know, where are you right now? And he goes, I'm in my house. and I'm like, you have a steakhouse in your house? And he went over, dude. He's like yelling at his wife. He's like, we have a steakhouse.

And I was like, I'm in. I did it. That's amazing. It was so. Make him laugh right off the bat. It's the best. So funny. I was, I was amazed and I can't remember it clearly,

but I remember being amazed how many comics he remembered, just like talking to another comic. That's why the rock was. funny like rock call you know i talked to rock before i talked to eddie and and he's like uh he loves talking about old comics yeah and i'm like i know all those guys yeah he knew what he knew all of them yeah yeah and like you know he did that whole he loved it because i mean he couldn't be a bigger star than eddie but he talked the same way anybody does about the comics coming up during their day there's some guys to do that yeah and you know i just did with fitzimmons today because we're getting

old too yeah but there's some guys that'll do that yeah yeah it was so it was stoleer. he was talking about stoler. Oh, wow. Eddie Murphy was talking about going on a gig that stole it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. It's so great. It's just great because we all come from this place.

Yeah. Where we're driving in a car with another guy who's not making money. To be funny at a dump. Yeah. And, you know, that's the light. Yeah. It's so bizarre. It's funny.

It really is so funny. Yeah. And I got Larry David laughing. pretty good. I like when I can make people because I know I can, I know how to do that. But you don't know who you're going to get laughing. Yeah. And there's some people that you can really get going.

Yeah. A Larry laugh is a big laugh too. Yeah. And I just, and I'd done an event with him. That was that whole, the whole process of doing, it was so, like, I got to go soon. But he he's like, he asked me to moderate

a Q&A with him in D.C. as a show. Uh-huh. Uh, you have, like 3,000 people. It's a big thing. Yeah. And, and I'm like, all right. You know, I appreciate you asking me.

And so, have you done the show already? Like, did you know each other? No. Yeah. I never did curb. Yeah. But he knew me. Yeah.

Um, but I never met him before. Like, you know, and I'd always talk about not being able to get him and he heard me talk about it with Jerry. Uh-huh. And I got a call after the Jerry's, after the Jerry thing. Uh, you know. You know, because I said he don't want to do it. And I get a call from a number I don't recognize.

He's like, I don't have anything to talk about. And I'm like, I'll do it when I have something to talk about. I'm like, all right. So. It's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real.

sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now we're running out of time and we still don't know the rules don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch saving those children is how we all go home from binge all episodes exclusively on paramount plus so he asked me to do this thing and I'm like all right if you know he wants me to do it like I am you know I can host Larry and I agree to it and then I realize like well you know

could I post it as a podcast he's like like yeah, well, that was going to be the part of the negotiation, but you already accepted doing it. So yeah, yeah, that's the idea. And I'm like, okay, that sounds great. That'll work for both of us. Right. And then like a day or two later, he's like,

you can't do the podcast. We're not going to do a podcast. And I'm like, why? He's like, yeah, I don't know. So now I'm like, I don't really want to do this. So I tell my, you know, I tell my managers, just go back and ask for a lot of money. I'm sure.

So they go back with the amount I thought would be enough to get him like, oh, that they're like, they're fine with that. I'm like, I'm like, so. So I'm like, what are we going to do? And I say, you know, and then like he, I say, you want to talk about the life? We'll do what I do.

You know, just let me do it. We'll do a whole career. Yeah. And then his assistant text me all these pictures of his life. And I'm like, this will be fine. I get on the phone with him. I'm like, this will be good. I got all these pictures.

And he's like, what pictures? I'm like, I don't know. someone sent me, he's like, I don't want to do that. I'm like, all right. Well, what do you want to do? You know, we'll talk, you know, about the show. And I'm like, can we just do a life arc or like, yeah, we're not. I don't know.

I'm like, oh, my God. So, so we agree to he's going to, you know, you know, just we'll talk. We'll talk about this stuff. And then like we're, it's like a few days out. You know, I got to go to D.C. and he's like he like what was it

he's like yeah I don't want to talk about you know I don't want I just want to be funny I don't want to talk about any of the life or whatever I'm like what the fuck am I going to do with this guy and like it was literally the day before

and he's telling me this he's like I don't want to do don't bring up this and don't you know don't yeah I don't want to be sad you know no Oprah moments or whatever you can interview me just don't talk about me right fuck am I going to do with this guy and I was really kind of like down about it like uh and then like

he calls me back you know the day before he goes do whatever you want hey I'm sorry yeah you're professional just do whatever you want I'm like all right and then we get you know I'm in dc now and you know and he's calling me and I'm like he's going to cancel this is the best thing is I like yeah he doesn't want to do it anymore he's like uh he just called me like yeah okay Okay. I'm like, yeah, it's going to be fine. Then we get to the goddamn thing. He's going to say, no politics. I don't want to talk about it.

God. But it was a good experience because, like, you know, it was one of these moments where I realized, like, you know, he just wants to be funny. Yeah. And these people paid to see him. He wants to talk about the show. You know, and he's got some clips of the show.

And, you know, and I'm like, I don't, it's not about me. Yeah. You know, I just got to set this guy up. Right, right. You know, and I got to use my skills to know when he's, you know, done. Yeah, right. With whatever topic.

Yeah, exactly. And then going to move on to the next thing. Yeah, yeah. And it was kind of great. Yeah. Like, you know, because there were stories that some people knew, but there were stories about, you know, that famous story about him getting on stage and just, you know, saying like, I don't think this is going to.

And walks off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I was like, what about that moment? He goes, you want to do it? You know, bring me up. And he went out. And he acted it out.

That's great. He had a great time. That's great. But by the time we did the podcast, I already done this whole thing. Right. Right. So, you know, it was a different thing. Yeah.

Just some people are just sort of like, you know, you know. But just watching him at Largo, like with Jeff. Well, that's a disaster. Right. I know. But he does have a really good ability of you just bring up candles. And he'll just go off on, like, in that he does love that element of it. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't necessarily love doing that. Yeah. You know, like, yeah. You're not just going to serve it. You'd rather get into it. Yeah.

But there were some things like, you know, I could tell he just wasn't going to. You know, like, like I remember on stage, I asked him like, so was there funny people in the family's like, what? No. Like, moving on. But it worked out. The album is now on vinyl. The special is now on vinyl. It is Mark Merritt.

And it's like even if you don't like have a record player, look at that cover. It's just cool. Yeah. It just, it is just cool. Do you have a record player? I do. Oh, you can have that. I can.

Yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I've got a cool record player. Oh, good. Yeah, I've got so many records. Yeah. I got thousands now. It's the best.

It's the best until you realize, like, you have to get up. Why don't, how am I going to listen to all these? I mean, like, you get into this compulsive, like, you know,

this collecting mode. Uh-huh. And, you know, and I go to several record stores. And now I've just got like thousands of records. Yeah. And then like,

what if I have to move? That was the reason why, why records went away. Yeah, exactly. It was like, you know, He didn't want to move him.

I know. It's really true. Yeah. Well, I'm reading the room, too, and you got to go. You, yeah, I'm going to go do another one of these. You are? Sorry. And also, I meant to say you're very good actor as well.

I enjoyed the Liberacee movie. Thank you. That was great. Thank you. You're always good. And that movie, um, who are you talking to, Mumbles? That was crazy movie, too. It was.

It's great. It likes you, though. Yeah. Yeah, as well he should. And so should the people at stranger things. Just putting that that out there. Do I just take the bird? What I have to do for it?

No, we have a bag for it. We've got a bag for you. All right. You're the best. Thanks, man.