Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 231 - Jessimae Peluso

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Jessimae Peluso lives out her italian nonna dreams this week at Breaking Bread. She declares that Sofia Loren is the perfect woman and that nobody should be afraid to age—or become a witch. Jessimae and Tom talk about a mirror that shows your true reflection that is conveniently and ironically located in the museum of illusions. Being a comic means going to Omaha when you need money and being up to date on pop culture references like “rizz.” The duo also take time to recount some of film’s brightest and beloved classics like “The Electric Grandmother” and “Harry and the Hendersons.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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right now. No one knows what to do right now, but there's also these like instilled traditions that were supposed to abide by that I don't agree with. Uh-huh. I think, hey, someone just died, my closest person just died. I don't want you to fucking kiss my cheek. Okay, lady, who did his hair for 30 years? Right.

Don't want your cigarette breath on my sweet skin. It's breaking bread. A toast. A toast. I haven't seen you in quite some time. It has been some time. Yeah. And I've missed you.

I missed you as well. And I'm very glad that you made the trip. Oh, salud. Salud. Salud. Salud. Salud. Barthalo.

Bum, boom, bum, bum. Boom, boom. Mmm. Not bad. That's really good. Right? And normally I like a little extra stuff in it. Do you want any sugar?

No, I'm going full ham right now. We can get your sugar. No, I don't want the sugar. We got it right there. Absolutely not. Lemon twist. We don't have that. What a delightful thing to discover that, though, when you travel and you see how it's really meant to be consumed and you have something that in your

mind, your American mind, you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Right. Lemonware? Yeah. And you have it and you're like, okay. All right. You guys know what you're doing. Yeah. Allow me to jump into something controversial right off the top. Well, I've got two things. I'm going to go with the first one from your Instagram. Then I'll go into something from my life. Okay.

I saw a post that you were, you were going off about cheez-its. And I love Cheez-Itz-It's. And why don't you to say what you were saying on your post about the Cheez-A-P people? I've had a couple moments in my life where I've gone off about Cheez-Sitz. I think it was a pretty recent story maybe. Yeah, I was, what was I complaining about? I was complaining about so many flavors. Yeah.

It's just people. Wonder why everyone has ADD and ADHD? This isn't something, sure, it started in childhood maybe. But also, also, could it be that there's 37 flavors of something that just has one flavor in the name? It's just cheese. We don't need extra. We don't need it to be like modified or big, none of them. Just have a whole box is just one cracker.

It's just the one big cheese. On Taco Bell? It's overwhelming. I tried it. Was it good? No. How could it be? I wanted it to be good.

Of course you did. I got it on the radio show and I was like, this will be, I mean, a cheese it as the taco shell. It sounds amazing. 12 year old me is very excited about that idea. That's what they're doing. It's a scam. It's a marketing scam. It's a complete scam.

It's a nostalgia scam. You only have it once. But I was very much into the cheesets too. It was my go-to travel treat. When you get off a plane and you're like connecting and you're like, I survived. Yeah, I'm traveling. These calories don't count. Chemicals don't count.

I'm close to death. I might as well enjoy myself. Yeah. And that was my go-to. And then one day I walked into Hudson News or whatever it was, and it was a wall of Cheez-It's. And a lot of people are doing this, though. Pringles is doing it.

Oreo people have lost their minds. And they also deviate away from the one thing they're doing. And it brings me back to that saying, stay in your lane. And your lane doesn't have to have seven other lanes. This isn't a relay race. This is not the Olympics. Has there been any Cheez-It?

It's not in the lane that excited you. You know, I do. I don't even know if this is a type, but I feel like there's one that has a little extra air in it. Oh, the puff? The puff is fun. I'm easily scammed. I get scammed all the time.

I'm like, oh, this is more chees-it. It's just more. You're paying more for less. It's actually more air. Yeah. It's the same with Club soda. It's half air. My father is on a real campaign.

Your dad? My father. Fake people in the studio, speaking his game. My father, Pasquale, is so angry. In the old country, when they gave you 12 ounces, it was 12 ounces. And now he's like measuring everything. He's like, there's less of everything. Look how these bottles are smaller.

Look how few chips are in this thing. It's true. He's completely against the scam that's being. perpetrated on all of us. And I think a lot of packaged food, you think about the shape of the food inside, I think they're making the shape of the food inside so that there's more air in between the morsels

so that it feels full. But if you shake it or lay it out, it's a lot less food. So you're making me pay for less, but you're still giving the same amount of chemicals? That's a part that's also crazy is other countries not accepting the things we are just free-balling.

Yeah, exactly. It's, well, yeah, they allow us to make and sell things and call it food, but it's not food. It's not. And the other countries are like, no, this isn't food. You can't put this in people's mouths. Like this product is in our cereal. Right.

Yeah, exactly. I don't know what lake is. Why am I eating? What's Red Lake 30? It sounds like one of those codes from the military, like in the Middle East. Whiskey, Fox Trot, Tango. Right. Bravo.

Whiskey Tango Fox Trot. What am I, am I eating a secret code from the military? My God, I'm a spy. How did that happen for 439? It's a cheap deal. I just got off the road so I didn't have time to bake you bread. So I brought you bread from Lodge bread. What's Lach bread?

It's one of my favorite bakers in L.A. It looks scrumptious. I gave you bread last time when we're in the old spot. What did I tell you when you asked me to come on? I forget. I said I'm not coming on unless there was a loaf. There means to be a loaf. Yeah.

I was like, I will be on the podcast. but if there's not a loaf on the table, I will exit the premises. Yeah, of course. I was insulted by the question. Of course it's going to be Brett. So thank you very much for being here. Yeah.

And you can have that. You wanted to say something about Sophia Loren. Sophia Loren, what a timeless beauty. I'll never forget her. One of the things that she said in a magazine imprinted in me and it imprinted in me in a way that counteracted how other images and magazines had and printed in me in such a young age. And I feel so fortunate that I grew up in a time

where it took you a little bit longer to feel bad about yourself. Yeah. You had to wait for it to come in the mail. Exactly. You had to turn a page. And there's only like 30 of them. So you're like, oh, I'm good. Yeah.

I'll deal with this. But now you can scroll through thousands of images that make you question yourself as a young girl. And she was in an article saying something about age and ages and I'm an anti-ageism. Right. When it comes to like, you know, you shouldn't wear that for your age or she looks good for her age or he looks good for his age. Whatever it is, I just think it's such a limiting belief.

And the interviewer said something like, what's one of your biggest regrets? And she said, I regret, in a few words or less, being so hard on myself. Like, thinking at 37, I wasn't as beautiful as I was. And now in my 70s, I would kill for those legs. Right. And it's also relative to where you are in time. Yeah. And that's why ageism is such a waste of your energy.

Yeah. Because you're basing it off a future fear that's not even real and probably won't manifest. Yeah. I was thinking about this morning. For some reason, I had a, you know, sometimes you create scenes in your head. Every day. I did about 70 of them between my car and here. I had one where my, it was totally manufactured.

I mean, it must be based in something, but it totally manufactured. Where I had one of my nephews who were going to see at the beach in a couple weeks, I had one of my nephews saying something to me about being old, like busting my balls about being old. And in the scene, I just went, I am what I am. What do you mean? I am what I am. This is just where I'm at.

It was just like this little scene that popped into my head. Right. But it was like such a, I don't like the idea of getting older. But in this little scene, I was just like, yeah, who cares? I just, this is what it is. I don't, I have nothing. Like, what's the, what's the alternative?

Would you trade your wisdom for youth right now? Hmm. I think it's the biggest question. People have to ask themselves. Like, yeah. There's a grace and there's a humility to aging. And there's also a lot of magic and power that comes with it. Yeah.

It's hard to focus on that because our society's so fast. Mm-hmm. Do you guys, like, do men think about that the same as women? Like, do you feel like, And have you experienced in society this sort of pressure to stay young? No. Well, in some regard, yeah, or how. In some regard, like in stand up, I'll look out of my audience.

And they're like middle age. There's kids, but there's also like, it's like a range. But the chunk is like, I don't know, like median age is like 40, whatever. And I'll see some comics who are selling out these giant places with, thousands of 20-year-old dudes. Just the one. Matt's got all of them. He cornered the market.

They're all going to be exhausted. These are all girls. And cougars. Right, exactly. And their moms. Yeah. So I guess the answer to my question is sometimes I get, I'll have a pang of,

am I relevant to younger people? You know, with my comedy. And then the other day I was watching Carol Burnett show. Oh my gosh. She's just like the... So fun and funny. When she talks to the audience at the end, you know, like she would always take questions or from the beginning and she would have the studio audience. They were all like 60 year old, 70 year old people.

They were just like an older. And I was like, yeah, I guess that's who shows up at a performing arts center and pays the money to go do the thing. Right. And I don't know. Maybe they weren't as focused on the impending doom as much as we are because we're faced with it on our devices. all day. Maybe they're just like, let's go out. We're told we can beat it. Yeah. But a short answer to your question is, I think men,

we don't want to lose our strength and we want to be relevant. But we, I don't think, as a general answer, we don't feel the aging thing of like, that women feel. Right, like the physicality aspect of it. Like, you guys get older. I'm staying young and you got to look like you did when you were 20. Right.

That just, yeah. We don't have that. No, you guys become distinguished and we become witches. Right. Yeah. So that's a big difference. And we don't want to become witches. Right, exactly.

And also it has to do with, like, marketing. And the 14-year-old Swedish girls, they put on all the beauty products. Like, of course, yet she doesn't have wrinkles. Right. She shouldn't be on the anti-wrinkle package. She's just a wrinkle. She's a single wrinkle. Yeah.

So she shouldn't be on the package. Right. Do you carry it or do you have to fight against it in your own little head? Not really. Yeah. Not really. My mother was not one to really focus on it. She was always, you know, proud of where she was at and was always talking about when she's old in a way, like, I'll do this and I'll achieve this.

And it was more of a positive outlook as far as, like, aging is concerned. Yeah. But it is definitely something that sometimes I'll ruminate over only because I'm in the entertainment industry. And it's a big facet of what we. do. Yeah, you have to look at ourselves so often. So often. I know. And then you start to go, where did that little crevice come from? Is there something in there? Or just general, I'm gross. I did this TV thing like a year ago and I called my daughter, my other daughter. Who was working for free. Well, not the, not the intern. Not this one. Okay. Another one. You've got

doing something else where she's working on the merch. What's she doing? She's got to, Yeah, she's got stuff to do. Refilling the espresso pods. And I called my other daughter from, it was like the first day and I was in the trailer. And I called her. I was like, why would anyone want to see my face on television? Like as I had caught myself and I was like, oh, they're not really going to, like, I was expected, well, they're going to come in get me and tell me to leave the lot now.

They're going to come and get me. Because they realized, oh, we hired a Hobbit when we were looking for a host. We need a hot-a-host. That's a niche market. We have to have you fill that immediately. But there is definitely, I think it's a human condition, by the way. It is. And like you said, our business, you're forced to kind of look and analyze it.

Like, my father doesn't, I don't think he ever looks in a mirror. That's healthy. I don't think he ever sees himself. That's healthy to a certain degree. Yeah. Physically, I think that's healthy. I mean, my mom's not happy about it when they're going out. Why are you wearing that?

How old are they? 79. Oh, they had you young. Yeah. And they are still together. They're still together. That's amazing. High school sweethearts.

Oh, that's beautiful. They're still together. I guess it's possible when there's only 40 people in the school. You know, you're just kind of. What are you going to do? Yeah, it's a necessity. Yeah. That's really sweet.

But he never sees himself. So he doesn't worry about it. But we have to see ourselves a lot. Have you heard about this thing? I think it was an art installation. Maybe in New York. I can't remember what city called a true mirror. This artist took a mirror and then somehow put a film on it to take away and alter the, not take away the reflection, but alter the reflection so it is how people see you.

Oh, really? Yeah. We can't. No. There's no. Think about this. We are a self. We're a human.

We're a person that we can never see. Yeah. We never, ever, ever, ever see ourselves how people see us. Nope. And so already we have a distorted image of who we are. Mm-hmm. And so I'm so eager to go see what this is like. Yeah.

So it's just like how I see you is how you would see you. Is it accurate? They say it's accurate. Yeah. And they have, I've seen videos of it of people watching or like seeing themselves for the first time. And people are bawling their eyes out. Really? Yeah, because they're so ugly.

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Fail, fail, fail. No, but they were like. You also don't hear yourself. We don't. Oh, that's interesting. You know, that's why when you, I mean, we hear it a little bit more. We're a little more used to it, but you don't really, no one really hears themselves the way that the world hears. Yeah.

It's so interesting. That's why when you hear like a recording, everyone's like, oh, do I sound like that? You know? Yeah. It's strange. Maybe that's why we're so complicated and lost sometimes because we have such a distorted of how we sound, how we look. Yeah. And we're trying to fill in the pieces with images that aren't real.

If I were to look in that mirror in that installation, what would I be surprised? What do you think I would see that I don't see that you see? I think your softness. Maybe that comes from having children. Not like physical softness. I mean, like there's a softness to you. Right. So I don't know if you've been humbled.

Right. Maybe life has been hard for you and you've sort of come on the other side of some things. I'm sorry. Was this a mirror or a therapist? I think the mirror is a therapist. I think you would see that you have really nice eyes. Oh, yeah? Yeah, like soft eyes is what I'm saying.

Oh. Yeah. That's nice. Mm-hmm. But that's for you to figure out. I don't want to. Do you guys know where it is? Is anyone looking it up?

Is it in New York? Are you guys all on Instagram? Ooh. Oh, really? It's moving around. Any in Los Angeles? Yeah. Oh.

Oh. But it's in the museum of illusions. That's confusing. They're like, hey, your true self is an illusion. Yeah. Back at square one. It's all an illusion. Go back to your confused self.

Yeah. Yeah. The constant state of confusion. Gosh. Take us back before cell phones. Are you as, confident as you seem. I am.

And there's also moments where I really need to recharge that. It's not that it's not a constant state of being. It's always within me, but other emotions come up that sort of need attention for me to process things. It takes me a really long time to process things. What do you mean? Like process. Like if I get into an argument or there's disagreement or I don't understand something or I'm going through some sort of grief. and the compounding grief that I have sort of dealt with

over the past four or five years or so, I think that's also affected the time at which I feel I need to process something. Right. So I am confident, but there are situations in life where I don't need to be confident then. Does that make sense? Yeah, 100%.

There are events in our life that are, I always feel that they're like tsunamis. It's like you can't, you're kind of, confident and you can deal and you've got your way of going through the world. And then every once in a while, you get hit by one of the big ones. And that's out of your control. Right.

And you are going to be swept around and you're going to try and grab onto limbs. Yes. And you will find your way. But they fundamentally wreck you for a while. We need to be wrecked. Everyone has to get a little shipwrecked. That's the good stuff of life. Yeah.

And I've been on my own since I was 18. So I think that also provides a level of confidence. You have to be out in the world, pay your own bills. Even though I hit my parents up a bunch. RIP, missing that cash flow. I was like, dad, I need help. He's like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, I'm trying my highest.

New York's expensive. Yeah. How should I handle that, actually? Paying your children? Yeah, like I have one child who's not present who is spending a lot of my money. Oh, wow. And I figured out, this is so dumb, but she's smarter than I am. So she, like, I think I'm taking credit cards off my phone and she still finds a way to like, she's definitely.

She's, yeah, she would love her. Is she your youngest? Yeah. Yeah. And she's very good at it. And I think I'm all locked in and then like a package shows up. And I'm like, how did she figure that out? how did she or see a picture of her with her friends like at a restaurant

your wife is like where did you go what is this receipt from and there's a part of me that's like you have to ask or whatever i say there's all of my children you have to ask and you know then and nine times out of ten i say yes yeah because you're a guy you want to provide they're your children it's tough that's my question my dad never very rarely said no i kept notes because my dad would send me money in the mail and I kept almost all the notes. Oh, really? And I've been going through them

because I've been writing about him. Oh, wow. And there's one note that's like, this is the last time I'm sending money. Don't tell anyone in the family. It's like 200 bucks. Don't tell anyone in the family. That means everyone in the family is like,

you've got to cut her off. And he wouldn't. No, he couldn't. That's so great. He could. I ended up okay. Yeah. You know, it's like,

there's something beautiful about being able to have a lifeline. You know? I know. It's a little bit of an umbilical cord. I think it becomes a problem when they're not working. Right. If you're not doing it yourself.

Yeah. They're out there and they're completely, are they completely financially dependent on you? Because then that's a problem. Then you're an enabler. I'm going to call you an enabler. Right. Exactly.

You don't want to be that. No, at all. We're just getting into adulthood, so it hasn't really hit. Do you feel like you're a good disciplinarian? And is that something you and your wife have been good at? I think so. I think so. Good cop, bad cop,

does that fluctuate between the two? I don't know. I mean, when you talk to them, they kind of have different answers at different times of who's more strict. I think they run you to the ground. I think your girls have probably, you've probably had to take extra road work for them.

Oh, 100%. There was something happened last night. Oh, yeah, college tuition or something. I think we were talking about college tuition's flights back to the east. coast and my wife's getting a car and I was renting a car for like two weeks when we're on vacation which is more expensive than the car that what is going on with that I don't know it's like four grand to rent a car for two weeks and so we went through that whole list and I was like oh well

this vacation is going to be short because I've got to go to Omaha right exactly I have to go pay for this, which I'm totally like, oh, I got to go to, I'm like, yeah, and I'll go do a couple gigs. Yeah. It is pretty sweet to have a thing that makes the money, but it's, as long as it that they're not 100% financially dependent on you. Yeah. Being a dad and taking care of your daughter's, like, the greatest thing. Yeah. It really is. Right. You know, and I, when my dad got older and the tables turned and he'd hit me up, he'd go between my sister, you know, I have three other sisters, and so he'd just kind of make the phone calls. Right. And, you know, and make, like a world tour.

He'd hit me up. Like, I'm a little low this month. He just, he's doing off-track betting. I'm a little low this month. Yeah, because he's buying Vaca Sotas at 11 a.m. at Change of pace in Syracuse,

New York, playing Kino for eight hours. I like this guy. And quick try. He was great. And so I would, you know, text my sister, Dad just called me. Oh, he called me yesterday.

I'm like, he's already out from yesterday. So it was fun to have the tables turn and to be able to do that. So that's a thing you might experience. Yeah. You can start hitting them up. Oh, yeah.

That's my plan. They don't seem to be amenable to that idea. Not yet, but they're going to have to be. Like in their fantasies, like a lot of times they'll be like, oh, I'm going to have a house here with three kids, and I'll be like, and then I'll have a pizza oven in the back, and I'll live in the guest house in the back. And they're like, no.

That sounds great. I'm like, not even in the fantasy pretend times. You can't get between just to pretend? No. Absolutely not. You're not wanted in my yard. That's sweet though. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So I'll just, I'll protest, but supply. Yeah. That's the sweet balance between enabling and loving. Right. Are you, is this just an impetus for the writing about him? Like, or it's a portion of that?

Yeah. And remembering him. Just trying to think about all the things. Last time you were on the podcast was probably, two years ago, maybe two and a half, maybe. It was pretty fresh. Yes, it was. That's right, because it was, he had passed in 2018,

and my mom passed in 2020. Right. So it's so interesting, like every time you go through something that's like a loss, all the other losses are sort of woven into that. So it's like, it's hard in a sense because you feel compounding grief with it. Sure. But it's also you're expelling that stagnant energy from previous grieving and grievances.

So it's like this catch 22, this emotional catch 22, or it's a little bit heavier, but you're releasing more. You mean you get, it's helping you overcome the last one? Yeah. Yeah.

It helps you, you know, work out some that have sort of stuck in, stuck their claws in parts that you didn't know. Right. You know? Because I do believe your body holds the memories and pain.

And so you have to, I do that a lot. I just like, I call it moving the energy. I do believe that that is one of the benefits of sort of experiencing the grief and having other things that have happened. Yeah. To be able to let those other things go. But yeah, it's...

The other good benefit, and I'm not sure if you've experienced it since then, is when you have like a big one, when you have the big ones, the big deaths. And then you have another death in the family that's not as big. Yeah, Uncle Tom. Yeah. He always played the guitar and played a rock. originals. Right. Exactly.

Won't miss that. Yeah, you're like, yeah, I'm all right with that one. Like, oh, God, where's the after party for this funeral? And then you just start judging how people do their funerals. Yeah. Which I think we need to update the funeral. Yeah, let's talk about this for a second. It's become a, it's become a, it's become a bit of a, no one knows what to do right now.

No one knows what to do right now. But there's also these like instilled traditions that were supposed to abide by that I don't agree with. Uh-huh. I think, hey, someone just died, my closest person just died, I don't want you to fucking kiss my cheek. Okay, lady, who did his hair for 30 years? Right. Don't want your cigarette breath on my sweet skin. Because this is all I got right now.

Right. The glow is from sadness and very expensive skin care, so get off of me. And just... What about the question when you're in those situations of there's anything I can do? from people who you never talk to. I've never done anything. And it's just their go-to question is if there's anything I can do. I'll bring my dad back.

That's great. Right, exactly. Could you work on that? Are you a witch? Yeah, do you have no wizard anywhere? Is there a Middle Earth agency that you're friends with that we could sort of... If you really want to be helpful, bring my dad back. It's a weird thing.

It's just like no one knows what to do and so people are awkward. Yeah. The receiving line is weird. I'll tell you who knows what to do. do. Who? Right, Joe Bolter? Yeah. The Jewish people. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Jewish people know what to do. They sit.

Shiva. Shiva's genius. We bury within 24 hours. Done. Yep. Whatever. We just go. And then there's no like calling and we're going to have a memorial at the Elks Lodge three weeks from now. It's just in and then you sit shiva for how long? Seven days. Yeah. And they, and people that start bringing food. They bring your food.

to bring you food for the whole time. I'm telling you Jewish people have got tradition down. They have the big things solved. And then there's also the person, I forget their name, the person who sits with the body, if the body, there's like a... Johnny? Hey, Johnny, called Johnny.

This one, we got cold one. He's unresponsive forever, so can we get... But there's a person that in the Jewish... I don't know if it's orthodox or if it's another... I can't think of the name, but there's a person who's job it is. He stays with the body for it. sit with the body. Yeah.

I can't remember what it is, but I do agree. Yeah. That's a little bit more. That always made sense to me. It just felt like, because I feel like now, you know,

our Italians, the wakes, he's out for three days, and then the thing, and then the thing. And all of that's going away in this modern age. Everyone's,

no, not a lot of people all live on the block anymore. No. So we've had a couple, in my family where they just like are going to have a memorial at some point. Everyone's cremated now, so they just kind of scatter and then we'll get to it eventually. And then it doesn't happen.

Well, we'll say something at Christmas or like it's gotten people are confused by it. That's a good point. Like the traditions sort of are the glue to the grieving process. Yeah. You know, you say that we've never had a funeral for my mother. Oh, really? Never. And, you know, psychologically.

it's healthy and also helpful for the understanding of death to see them dead. Yeah. Just for your own mental process. And we never had a funeral for her. And I think that definitely it holds it in a frozen place a little bit. Yeah, there's no finality to it. There's no finality. And how ironic, the most final thing we experience.

Yeah. The, you know, coup de grace. You know, who could help with that? Joey. Johnny. Johnny. Johnny. Hey, Johnny, get over here.

Is it done sitting with the body? Did you know in Italy, I don't, I'm not sure they do it anymore, but traditionally, specifically, I think in Sicily, they would hire whalers at the funerals. Really? Professional funeral whalers. That's pretty good. You could do that to help pay for your kids' dream home. Is it? We're hiring.

I'm here to hire. I feel like it's probably women. Oh, no, no, no, no. Male whalers? Yeah, mail, we call mailers. Mailers. Yeah. I always thought that was interesting, that there's like, you know, because.

You had to fill in the gaps. Right. This should be sadder. Can we bring in the whalers? Right, come on. Someone, enough of this quiet sniffles. Yeah, we need somebody to really be dramatic. This is why we got that sort of, you know, Italians are known to be dramatic.

Oh, yeah. I don't think it's time. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of, I like the traditional way. Of funerals? Yeah. Yeah.

Skip the wake. The wake is weird. But have a funeral. I think funerals are necessary. I just don't know. I think maybe I just was so frustrated when my dad passed that in line with us was my mother and her literally physically crooked boyfriend, Bob. Bob had one story about the one time he shadowboxed a bear.

and he had it on VHS and he would play it. And he relived this glory. Now, Bob was shaped like a question mark. Ironically, not from fighting this bear. Just from life. Just from his ego holding his head over. Oh, my God. And so we're in the receiving line.

And Bob, the crooked Bob is in the line with my mom. I'm like, why is Bob here? He didn't know, Dad. That's always, yeah. Bob was insane. Talking about the video, we made us watch that video 100 times. Why is Bob there? So I just was like frustrated to having people kiss me and have Bob stand next to me.

Yeah. So you did that for your father, but then your mother's... We didn't because it was COVID. Like you said, like, you know, everything kind of changed. We did a Zoom thing. We did a Zoom thing with during a death during COVID. Really? Yeah.

And it actually was effective. Who was this for? My aunt. Okay. How old was she? She had had, she was probably 70, late 60s. She looked. She looked great.

She looked great. She's here depicted in this beautiful garlic bouquet. God bless. God bless. Okay. We love her. So she, yeah, and she had been cremated. And then we had a Zoom thing with a big Italian family.

So everybody got on it. And there was closure. Like everybody kind of said something. It kind of just took its own, its own life. Everybody had just found a rhythm. And we had a couple of people say something. But then everybody just started mentioning stuff. and it was satisfying.

Like at the end of it, it was, okay, we did that. Yeah, that's something. And then we had another one that went after, and we didn't do that. And there was no real thing. It was like this little ceremony, like, later on. But the rest of the family was kind of like just left in limbo. Yeah, it's necessary. Some traditions, I even say religion,

these sort of things that we have that are kind of the skeleton and the glue of our society, they've worked for so long. Maybe not in the extreme radical way, but faith is important. Whatever it is. No, 100%. In tradition is important. Yeah. People have figured this stuff out.

Yeah. From the beginning of time. It's so arrogant to think, no, we have a new way of doing this. Yeah. And then you show up and it's like, no, you know what, stick with it. Yeah. I feel the same way just basically on just basic manners. Oh, I agree.

Like an excuse me and a please and a thank you are just, they've been thought out. And they work. Even if you don't mean it, bitch. Even if you don't mean it. Right. Just say it. Most of the time I say it, I do not mean it. Right, but you play by the rules. I'm a play by the rules.

And it gets you out of the awkward social situation, which is every social interaction. Right. Even if I go, thank you. At least I said it. My mother above will be like, okay, we didn't need it that way. Yeah. I raised you better than that. But I do agree manners.

And there's something happening. And it's inevitable and there's nothing we can do about it. And that's just evolution and how much technology is changing our behavioral patterns. And it's really indicative in witnessing a younger generation and their behavior and how they regard their peers and their manners. Yeah. It's almost like manners are becoming extinct. No, I know. And that's scary.

It is scary. You can't just blow everything apart and think that you're going to survive. Well, it's just not. It's rudderless. It is. And society needs order. Yeah. Human beings on their own.

I mean, look at ancient times. We were a mess. We were barbarians. Right. We were like, throw tigers in the ring. Let's have people in there, too, and we're going to just show up and scream at it because it sounds fun. Yeah. We need some order even to our chaos.

No, 100%. Yeah, I value all of that stuff. It's like there's a reason these things. They were worked out. Yeah. I've changed one tradition that's a newer one. Oh, yeah? You just displayed.

I did? 100%. Everyone says that. I have a new one. What? I know you're against tradition being changed. We just discussed this. So this is a little bit of, you know, I say 122%.

Wait, what? No more 100%. 100%. It's 122%. I just said 100%. Yeah, everyone does. I'm changing the tradition. Didn't I say, Joe, that I've caught myself?

I've caught myself saying it and I got to stop. We're evolving. I can't stop it. It's just coming out of my face. 122%. 122%. A little bit extra for you. Okay, so much I care.

I had a big, my New Year's resolution was to stop saying, um. That's a really good one. It's tough. Do you say it on stage? I don't think. No, sometimes when I'm working on new stuff and I'm not sure where I'm going because it's, it's really just a device. to fill in uncomfortable silence.

Yeah. And, uh, is similar. It is a distracting thing when you're watching someone do that and they do it often. Yeah. And if you've got like a 10 minute set and you say like 22 ums, I know. That's a joke.

I know. That's enough time for a joke. Or like you said silence. Yeah. Silence. Yeah. Just be okay with it. It's tough.

So I've done a pretty good job with the ums. Yeah. But I think 100% took over the... 100%. It's true. Has he said, I haven't heard an um today. Are you an um counter? Is that what he's doing on his laptop?

He had counted, but he's worked really hard on it. And then there was an Oscar or an Emmy speech you saw where someone went crazy on the um? Yeah, during the, yeah, I think during the, yeah, I think during the Oscars. When was this? Someone really, really respectable, just let ums go. Um, um, um, um, did this go viral? this sounds like it would be something that would be. It would be if more people cared about it other than myself.

Yeah. But I just watched it over and over. Well, it's not controversial enough. If they were saying like the N-word, it would be a compilation. Wow, you can't stop. He just keeps saying it. Isn't that funny? We just focus on the things that trigger us?

What a weird way to accept an award. God, people are so annoying. I know. Yeah, because I, yeah, 100%. I don't know where it came from. It just. It sounds like something like. Like, who's that guy that everyone says is like the new toxic masculine guy?

Thank you. She's tuned in. She's tapped in. Andrew Tate. Yeah. It sounds like something like that guy would have created. Or whoever created athletic greens, like 100%. I was just corrected this morning because I was telling, I was explaining, which I just learned

and now, I just learned it. And I was told today that it's now old and dated. Your daughter's shaking her head. Just let the record show that the family member is already in protest. I said to my friend, I taught my friend this morning what Riz is. Oh, wow. And then I was told as soon as I did it that Riz is over. Already?

Right? What? Yeah. Riz was a fun one. Is Riz over? What was the context? He was runner and saying, she's got so much Riz. But she has.

has Riz. Yeah. I thought it meant like personality, not that she has a lot of game and like gets a lot of guys, which is what it means. Oh, so they've taken, because my understanding,

and this is a fun moment for both of us. I think we're going to bond on this. This just shows you where we are in the evolutionary chart, and this is a humbling place. Okay. I assumed, just from hearing it in a few different contexts,

that it was Riz off of charisma. Exactly. And that it meant like they had a lot of charisma. Exactly. It still kind of means that, but it's more of like... But it sounds like the kids have now made it sexual only. Shocker! What is wrong with you?

Shocker. But I still love it. It's only about whether you get some. Yeah, that's what it's about. That's what it's about. It's too close to the other word that sounds like something sexual and now... Yeah. You mean the end of it?

Well, if you... The rhymes with Riz. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just... It's a lot. It's a lot.

We do a thing on this show called an uncomfortable moment. Love it. Is there pasta for me to eat after? Because that's what I do with all my uncomfortable moments. It's just damn pasta. Yeah, I just slam a bag of fettuccine. Oh, you know what? All right, I'm going to put off the uncomfortable moment just for a second.

Okay. Because you brought up something that just triggered me. In the beginning, when I said we had this thing. The fettuccini? Yeah. Pettuccini always triggers. I went to my favorite Italian restaurant the other night. In L.A.

I feel like you've told me what this place was Now I can't remember It's just a local spot It's my favorite local Italian restaurant right That I could drive to It's just in the neighborhood And I you know

And it was It was just like this cool place It was a little it was a little elegant The menus were in a nice little book Like the red outline Yeah It has like a leather outline Yeah there's a little strappy strap

And carpeted And you're just like a family kind of place and, you know, like a quiet Italian local place. You just described your podcast studio. Go on. It's very close. This is what we're trying to achieve. And we walked in the other day because I had long travels.

I was like, I can only go to this place. I'm not going to mention it because I don't keep it for you. Yeah. And we walked in and they had renovated. Oh, no. The carpet's up. It's a hard floor. the booths, the cushy older booths, excuse me,

were now green. Oh, boy. And tough, like bouncy. It was a 7 o'clock on a Sunday. And there were, it was like my one daughter said it was like Chucky Cheese. Oh, Jesus. Or California Pizza Kitchen. There were babies crying, kids running.

It was like, what the hell just happened? It was noisy. It seemed like they were marketing. And the menu came out now. on a laminated one sheet. Oh, no. That's like Mondicito Farms. Menaceo Farms.

Exactly. I was... It's the same restaurant, same name? Same name. Yikes, that's like what happens when an actress gets bad face work. They're like... Right, yeah.

I know this is the same place, but... What's different about her? It's scarier here. Yeah, that's what it was. It's scarier here. Yeah, they think, they think, think they look good. They think they look good and this is what everyone wants to see.

That's what it was. Like there's a couple places that open that are a little more modern, you know, like the newer Italian kind of places. And I think that's what they, somebody got a hold of the owner and was like, we've got an update and they ruined it. Probably one of the kids. They rep. Yeah.

I'm just kidding. One of the kids was like, this place needs more Riz. So are you, does that make you not want to go? It's beyond upsetting. setting because I feel like a lot of that is happening. And it makes me think that people are afraid to sit in the space they're in and just sit still, even businesses, because they're afraid they're going to get left behind if they don't become or stay relatable.

It was the thing we were saying before about aging. It's like... Even restaurants are afraid of it. Even if I look at the audience and think, should I get younger people to my show? shows. What do you know? No. No, you got the people right there.

You're going to be the guy in a laminated. Yeah, you're the laminated menu. Yeah, you're the laminated menu. Thirsty, begging for stuff. Right. And I feel the judgment. Thirsty's probably over now, too. No, we're keeping thirsty.

Are we going to keep thirsty? I like thirsty. I'm going to say thirsty Riz. Yeah. I'm going to make my own drink. And I'm going to charge the millennials double. Actually, I think I am a millennial. I just charge myself.

Yeah, I am. I was so upsetting. Are you still going to go? I don't think so. Oh my gosh. How long have you been going there? I left probably 10 years. Did you know the owner?

Is it a type of thing where you'd go in? They'd be like, hey, Tom. A little bit, not to that degree. But a little bit of, they knew my name. Right. And not from just from going there. Did they know your order? They have anything sort of down?

No. Oh, that would kind of change a little bit. That's a bummer. It was such a bummer. It's really a sign of the times. Yeah, it was just such a dumb move. It was a dumb move. I really feel like writing them.

You should. And saying, I'm not sure what you did. Let them know. Yeah. Because once you make that first cut, like that first incision. Yeah. Then you got to keep cutting into it. Yeah.

And then it moves away from art and it goes into, a place of like fear and control. Like what do you do? Why do you keep cutting into something that was fine? There's nothing. An old, like a traditional Italian restaurant should not be striving to be new and cool. No, there should be dust. There should be crumbs.

Right. The waitress. There should be at least three 60 year old waitresses. Right. Yeah, exactly. There's got to be an 80 year old working. Yeah. One or two.

Someone named Dolores is. somewhere on the property. Just making yawki. Right. It's the only, you know, don't talk to me, I'm making yucky.

There's a kid working as well. Yeah, the kids work in the register. Oh my God. I went to this one place in the middle of America. I can't remember where I was, but it was this family, this Mexican family restaurant.

This family Mexican restaurant, and it was owned by the family. The mother had a baby on her hip, checked you in, walked you over to the table with the baby on her hip. I swear to you a 14, like this is a 14,

this 14-year-old girl took our order. I swear to you, a baby went by in one of those roller seats. You know those old-school roller seats at the table and it just scoots around? A baby was like handing out waters. And I'm like, oh, this is what America's, this is what America is. That's the dream. Family restaurants. Family restaurants that are just kind of a little dirty, but the food's good.

So I'm not wrong that I should go find another place, right? No, and I do believe you should write a letter. Yeah. Because you need a funeral for that. I know. You're right, you do. People think that funerals should be saved for people. We should normalize having funerals for things like that.

Yeah. For ourselves. Yeah. Just to let that go. There's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real.

Sci-Fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Is this an age thing, though, because I also wanted to complain to the supermarket that they are now. Yes, it's an age thing. I'm just going to jump ahead of you.

They're putting all their produce in plastic containers. What? It used to be this beautiful wall at Gelson's. It used to be like this, the produce section is the reason you go. pay extra for everything. Yes, and Gelson's nice. It was so fresh and nice. And they took all of their vegetables and put them in containers.

And it's a whole wall of... Oh, that's not a good sign. It's not good. So anyway, I complained to them at the little manager thing. And I said, you know, this isn't... I just got to say, this isn't so great. It's not good for the planet. It's not good for us.

It's not... What are you doing? Did you ask why? Did they have any reason why? They didn't have a reason. reason why, but they did say I was not the first person to complain. It seemed like a lot of people did. And I was thinking, have I joined the forces of the older people who complain? I would think the younger generation would. And Ray letters to restaurants. We got rid of plastic straws. Yeah.

There's plastic everywhere else. But you millennials did that. Right. And so why would, is this something, did you find out, is this something that like the distribution, like the produce distribution is doing? Or is it the grocery store doing it? I think the grocery store is, probably has been told by the produce people, like, hey, this is the way we're moving and it'll cost you less. I think, you know where my conspiratorial mind goes? Because sometimes I like to think bigger picture. Yeah.

It seems, if I were to step back and go, okay, what does this indicate? It seems to me that they're now trying to process produce and get us used to seeing produce in a package. And then the next evolution of that will be maybe it's in a thicker plastic or even a can.

And now we're just, now our food is completely controlled. Because we at least, I think produce and fresh food is our last connection to having some free will over our food and our food source. Yeah.

Because even, you know, you're right. Farms are controlled by huge corporations and they're being bought up And now we're looking in regenerative farming. And we don't even know if that's something that can sustain because it's so expensive. What are regenerative? Is that the right word?

Organic eggs. What does that mean? Regenerative organic eggs? Yeah. From my understanding. And it was like. There's so many different ways. I think regenerative means that they're not forcing the land.

They're not like forcing the land to reap or to produce. they're sort of giving the land like the rest it needs and farming the way farming used to be done. I could be wrong but I kind of think that that's the understanding is to get back to basically letting the earth

regenerate itself so that we're sort of getting actual nutrients. So it's a nice thing. It's a really good thing for the planet. What I understand, I could be wrong. That's not the feeling that I had when I saw the words on the package. Did it trigger you? I thought it was like

Oh, they got rid of the, they got, in my mind, they got rid of the middle part of the chicken. It was just a beak in its ass. And it was just making eggs. Oh, you thought it was like a physical regeneration. I was like, well, I don't approve of that. Is this a trans chicken? What is this? All right.

Oh, is this an uncomfortable moment? This is the uncomfortable moment. Is this where you just sit and read your Kindle? Yeah, I just. I'm already uncomfortable. I just ignore you. Your sister, your sister, that I just made it weird, your daughter's my audience. I knew, I told her that I said you are going to love Jesse.

It's good to know that I still skew you. Yeah. Okay. So this is the uncomfortable moment. And it's, you know, it's not a big deal. Okay. I'm just reapply a lipstick. You are.

So I can feel comfortable. What are you going to do? This is what I do to feel comfortable. Hold on. Okay. Go ahead. My power. Does it have?

Does it work? Yeah. Of course it does. Are you kidding me? Really? Yeah, absolutely. Got this from. Target.

No, we just do a deep dive on the guests. Okay. And even though we're friends, you know, I have a staff and they do research and stuff. This is your family. Yeah. Staff is a stretch. No, you do. I'm impressed.

So, I just said, um. Only your first one, though, but it also fit the moment. Because I was, I needed to fill the space. It was good, though. So you are an amazing comedian. a great podcaster, great personality, a beautiful, vibrant person. Thank you.

But I feel like that might be the Republic persona. We found this photo and you tell me whether or not this is you when you're home on the weekends. That could be me. I'm not even lying.

Oh, God, take me there. Is that or is that not your face? Let me tell you, those are my knuckles. I'll tell you for sure. I say I'm not anti-ageism. If someone can come up with a hand rejuvenation, that really works. Look at the size of those hands. Look at the size of those noodles.

I'm in love. Are you kidding me? That's my dream state. Yeah. I would just love to be, I already am that. I wake up and do crosswords. Are you kidding me? I go to bed at nine and I wake up at five.

I'm her. Do you really? In my soul, yeah. You get enough at five these days? Really. Yeah, I wake up. I don't get out of bed all the time at five, but my normal state the past few years has been really, really early. Wow.

It's been a little later these past. Last year, but. Wow. I got up at 630 today and I was like, well, there's something to this. Yeah, it's nice. Now, I'm scared what's next. There are other versions of what you could be in the future. Do you want to see them?

100%. Okay. Oh, wait, 122%. Ah, see? Yeah, we're doing good though. If we're aware of it, we're going to solve it. Yeah, you have to make it a, you know, repeat it for 21 days. Do you like this version of you?

The hair. I know. It's too. Oh my God, am I going to have that haircut? If you do. Oh, I love those pots and pans. Those are professional. That's a professional kitchen.

I know. If I'm cooking in a professional kitchen at that age, I have six. And I'm married. Yes. Woo! You're so Italian. You're like, I'm showing you this picture of you in the future of what you could look like. And you're like, that's a nice pan.

I have one more. You want to see it? Yes. This one, this one, this one. Sophia, like, this is embracing the same. Sophia. Like, this is embracing the same. Sophia vibes that you were talking about.

I'm just tickled already. Honestly, this is me when I wake up. Right now. For real. The hair, I always, when I wake up, I say I look like Martha Washington. I don't know what happens to my bun in the morning, but it just loosens.

And there's this plume. It's like a mushroom, like a... A little mushroom cloud coming off your head. Yeah, an atomic cloud coming off my head. Yeah, those are all me. I feel honored and seen. Well, I have to say... When you get to this point, I hope we're still close because I love all these versions.

I do too. And you're probably going to need some help financially with all these kids, mooching off you. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be. What did you? What was your dad would say? I'm a little low. I'm a little low. I'm a little low. Yeah, O.T.B. low. That'll be me coming to you. Yeah, for sure.

I'm a little low this week. We would die. I gave him $200. And then my brother-in-law would start, you know, we'd meet my dad at his, his watering hole. And my brother-in-law is such a Italian. You know, he's always doling out cash. Right. And he'd go and he'd give my dad extra cash.

We're like, no, you can't get, we just, this man's scamming everybody. It's great. Yeah. Where are you at in your act these days? I am, I feel like I'm finding my way back to something that took a while for me to get back to. I think just feeling funny.

We were talking before we started, like I've been sort of, Not off the stage, but just working on the page. Just more writing and working on writing projects. And I don't know if you've ever taken like an extended break from stand-up. Like, what's the longest time you've been? Only COVID. Really? Yeah.

That's a long time. I mean, that was like at least six months to a year. Yeah. I went back pretty early. But that was the longest break I'd ever taken. It was March is when it got all closed up. And I was back kind of noodling around. Like I snuck off to, excuse me, wise guys in Salt Lake City early, like in June.

Yeah, I was. I was going early. You are a rebel. I was. I was like the only guys in the airport. That's like bootleggers and people during Prohibition. It really was. It was, I was thinking about the other day when I was in a crowded airport, how I really

snuck out inappropriately early. A lot of people did. People were fed up. There was nobody around. Like I just walk into this. There was no one at security at LAX. Oh, that's so nice. It makes you go, oh, this city could be so great. Yeah, really, I know. It just got rid of all these people.

There's this bagel place, Bell's Bagels, which I love these guys. And they're, I don't know, Silver Lake or Eagle Rock, whatever one of those. Bell's bagels, I'm going to remember because I'm on the hunt for a bagel. They were so good. And they just opened a retail space. But anyway, during the pandemic, I could get there in 15 minutes. now it's like 45. I'm like, I don't want it to be,

I don't want it to be, you know, a global pandemic. But how insane that you can't even get to these places. Yeah, it is, it is wild how long it takes to get to spots. Wait, you just made me think, have you ever had Eastie Boys, Bagels? Oh, the ones on, uh, in Studio City? I don't know where they are, but everyone keeps talking about that.

Is that your daughter? Is that a truck? Um, yeah, they have a truck. Yeah, Eastie boys. They're okay. Good sandwiches. That means if you put enough stuff on it, the bagels are right. Yeah, the bread becomes the last part you're even thinking about, which is just...

I love any of these guys that are out there, Hanks bagels, the Yeasty Boy, like, they're, everyone's trying to, like, get good bagels in L.A. and it's working. Like, these guys are, yeah, they're doing a good job. But anyway, back to long breaks, yeah. Yeah, I'm finding my pace and happy again. I wasn't, you know, you just do it. And then it gets to the point, I don't know if you've ever experienced this in your career where you start to resent it a little,

or at least you're trying to find a new version of your connection to it. Maybe because you get tired of doing the same way over and over and over again. Yeah, you're trying to find the magic for yourself so you can sort of keep it fun and fresh. So I think I just had to step away for a little bit. Yeah. The stopping having fun is a thing. And then, you know, people are like, oh, it's just the reps. you got to get up and do the reps.

It's, yeah, but if we're not having fun, then what are we doing? I know there's got to be hard work, and sometimes it's a little more difficult than other times, but for me, it has to, the emotion I generate has to be as close to authentic in order for it. It's even work. Yeah. I'm very physical. Yeah. I'm goofy.

And you can't do that. If you half ass that, it's worse than standing still and telling a joke. Right. Yeah. And half-assing, you can get away with that. Yeah. But I feel like if you're physical like I am, if you're not convicted or committed to it, it just bombs horribly. Right, right, right.

And I also want to pursue other things, you know. What are you thinking? Well, I've been writing and working on a book. I wrote a horror movie. Did you really? Yeah. It's about the last living female Sasquatch and she's in heat. I just finished it a couple weeks ago with Leah Bonama, so I'm so excited about that.

Is there a working title? There is. I don't want to say it yet, though. It's a good one. I'll tell you after. Okay. That's funny. Anything, any pitch where the one line makes you laugh?

Yeah. So excited. Yeah. I just want to do things. Did you like that process of writing it? I didn't at first. Yeah. But then it was a long time coming, a lot of challenges and personal challenges and realizing

that what working together with friends is what that can sort of, the challenges that come with that. Sure. So, but it was a really fun process and it was the most challenging thing I ever did and I realized how much more I love to collaborate and how someone else's magic brings out yours and when you find a good partner. I know. It's so fun. We're creatures that, uh, operate alone a lot. Yeah. And you get good at it. You get good at doing it and generating it. But man, the power of having other brains around. It's the, It's the greatest thing to just sort of, you know, being able to collaborate and challenge each other and find they say something and then you say something. Just that alchemy, the art of alchemy is really something to embark on when it comes to like any sort of career, especially in the arts. But I think it can be applied.

Right. And is applicable to other industry. Is that the noise that the Sasquatch made? Embark. Obsessed with Sasquatch. You are? I love the idea that there's so many people that believes in something that should be tangible yet no one's really seen it. Right.

But there's these people who are just like, Zsafe 1 in 85. I'll never forget it. Just people have these like core memories of seeing Sasquatch. No one's really kind of nailed the Sasquatch movie. No. Except for Bobcat. What was that?

Bobcat did Willow Creek, I think it was. Oh, yeah? Bobcat and I are both from the same town. So I hope I hope I said that. Right. What was the other one with Lithgow in it? Oh, that was Harry and the Henderson. Yeah, Harry and the Henderson's.

That was a pretty good one. One of the greatest. 1982, I think that came out. Oh, my God, that movie's so good with the French Hunter. There's a lot of influence from that in my script. Oh, cool. Yeah. That's great.

Yeah, that was a good version. It was so great. I feel like that was like a Disney. I don't know who produced that, but I feel like it was a Disney movie. John Lithgow? I know, come on. And when the Sasquatches, I don't know if you remember, but the Sasquatch is in the basement

and the neighbor's over and then the Sasquatch is like pushing up his head on the floorboard and John Lithgow is just like oh I'm just working out he's like raising up and down there's so much fun humor he's the best

yeah but to make it scary is hard so she's in heat that's funny she's in heat and she's the last Sasquatch so you know what that means not good for you guys it's a piece on modern feminism it really is yeah it's just a

about this battle that we're all having with like, you know, femininity and masculinity and how we're on this societal pendulum swing. Yeah. Everyone's trying to like grab their pile of chips and claim it. I think. What do you think? And I think from, I'm kind of looking at it from the viewpoint since Kamala took the reins. I feel like there is a,

I feel like there is a, I feel like there is a, there was the rush during Hillary where men were uncomfortable. Men were being attacked. There was like, it was, it was me too. There was like, I know this like, there was a, yeah, we can go for Hillary, but there was this resistance, this big resistance of men. And I think it's kind of settled into this place where it's, not surprising. It's not

analyzed in the same way. It seems to me like it's less fraught from men, from men. That it's more accepting. We're in a better place than it was even eight years ago. Yeah, I think maybe you're right. I still feel like there's

Oh, for sure. People that are I don't know, maybe people are just afraid of who they are or they're just dying to belong. So they're grabbing onto whatever shred of echo chamber they can to sort of feel like they're a part of a tribe. Yeah. Because we sort of have, it's, I think it takes a little bit more effort, especially in a

city like this that's so sprawling to get that physical tribe, your people, to have your neighbors and your friends and have them be in your physical space. Everyone's living in different neighborhoods. I mean, you mentioned silver like, I'm never going there. Yeah. You know, it's so far. Yeah. So you get into these like, you know, wherever you're circling, of existences, in the city like this, it's a little bit harder to have everyone that's in your actual inner circle live within that physical circle. So I feel like people are striving to belong a little bit more now. And I think they're just doing it however they can. And if it is

screaming some and being a part of some movement, they want to belong. Yeah. No, absolutely. Yeah. The people don't want to feel, I think the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the The worst feeling that human beings have is that they're not recognized. Yes. That they don't, that no one notices them. Right. And if they're not noticed in a positive way, then you can skew into a negative way, of course. But I think that is, that is really the thing.

And that's why religion and churches are so successful and why more radical groups, like, we can even include white supremacy in that, why those are still around. Right, exactly. There are people who want to belong to. something greater than them. Yeah. And like you said, you know,

it's just there's a spectrum. See me. Yeah, see me. Even if I have to put on this cloak. I'm not condoning it by any sense. I'm only trying to make sense of it. But I don't know. It does feel to me like it says,

we're in a different, we're in a, I can't figure it out because I'm a simple man. But it feels like we're in a different place as far as gender, than it was during the Hillary run. Yeah, I guess it did feel fiery then, but then I don't really get really political

because it just goes on and on and on, but I'm very interested to see what happens coming up. You know, Kamel just mentioned a running mate and elections this year. It's kind of like, it's kind of exciting. It is, it's very exciting. And it is always a reflection of where we're at. And, you know, who knows where it's going to go.

But I mean, where is it going to go? But it does feel the gender of it seems, it seems, doesn't it seem different to you? Yeah, it feels like when Obama was running. Right. It felt, it felt like that because we were also going through a lot, weren't we coming off, I'm terrible with history and dates and stuff, but weren't we coming off of a housing crisis? Yeah, 2008, right. Right.

And so this is kind of a similar thing maybe where we're going through all this crisis. Yeah, and yeah. And it almost. It takes something that maybe 10 years earlier you thought there's no way that could happen. Right. And now it's happening. It has a similar kind of a feel. And it's historical.

It's historical moment in time. Yeah. And hopefully, here's a question for you. Do you follow politics a lot? I'm like, I don't get into politics. Do you follow politics? I follow it. Yeah.

Follow it. Do you feel that right now, with everything that's going on with this election that our democracy, the threat of our democracy is real in this current moment? Yeah, I think we're having a very unique situation where we have a single personality who is taking over big parts of a whole party and wants power or people around him want to use him for that power. I think he's got so much Riz. Now there we go. He's got so much charisma. He's a very unique individual. It's a very unique powerful thing. Yeah.

He should be putting a Vavarium and studied like a critter. Right. And with that is a lot of risks. I think he put people in the Supreme Court that have tilted huge issues that the people don't really agree with, that's not democratic. No. And then if you're going to manipulate the way that voting happens, that's not very democratic. So yeah, it does feel pretty vulnerable. What's interesting, and again, I don't know anything, but that both sides are crying

that. The Republicans are saying this is the end of democracy if they get in. And the Democrats are saying this is the end of democracy. he gets in and that's interesting what do you think that means that you've cultivated fear so that's why there's a little bit of are we really that vulnerable because they're both being stoked and they both are carrying that narrative is interesting to me i don't know if it means that democracy is actually going to be okay and everyone's just stoking the fear or if it is really founded in in real in real truth do you think that maybe they both parties could be using it to get the people

to also feel it. Oh, you think that the politicians are manipulating the masses by use of fear? Now I don't think that would happen at all.

Maybe. I don't think so. We should put politicians in those little plastic boxes that Gelson's starting to put the pictures in. Yeah. It's like,

let's start to contain them a little bit more. Yeah. That might be good. Yeah. It's going to be interesting. But at least it's exciting right now. At least like there's some life.

It does feel like there's some life in the election now. Yeah. And some life in democracy and also something that's like there's a little bit of fight. Yeah. That's why I say it's exciting.

And whatever's going to happen is going to happen in society, regardless of anything. Yeah. I mean, destruction's inevitable. Progress is inevitable. Yeah. You're right. And the only thing that sort of, I think, is the catalyst of what's going on right now within everything is technology and how fast. Yeah.

That's evolving. Yeah. It's wild. It's so, to be alive right now. is absolutely insane. I was listening to the news this morning and they were talking about like AI generated recipes. Right. Oh, really?

Goodbye, Nona. Don't need your grandma now. We got the electric grandmother. Do you remember that movie? It's so crazy. Did anyone see the electric grandmother? No. No.

In Android grandmother came to take care of these like three widowed children. Uh-huh. And I'll never forget there's a scene. It's from 1982. She pours milk out of her finger. And I didn't understand the concept of Android. And I'm like, oh my God, this is like the greatest grandmother ever. Yeah.

Milk and cookies would be awesome. But she was like this Android who came and took care of them. Yeah. That's what's basically what AI has become now. It's going to get so wild, so fast. Strap in, do some shrews. Yeah, I know, exactly. I'm microdosing right now.

Oh, good. What is fascinating to me? And this was just one of those kind of moments when I was in New York and I was looking out at the skyline. around me, like in just 100 years, in just like 150 years. Like if you had taken someone from 150 years ago, like this is what the world looks like now,

these glass spires and just like these planes flying over. I mean, just to think we take it for granted, but what a city is now is just bonkers. That human beings have gotten to this point where they've created these just glass. metal things, pox all over the world. It's really fascinating what we've done. If we don't destroy it, it could be really very exciting.

That's a big question. I mean, I think there's nothing we can do but destroy ourselves. Well, probably. But we also create. I know. And think about birth, just childbirth. That destroys to some degree, you know, with not completely, but it destroys a woman's body.

But something's being born. Something's being created. Yeah. There's no creation without destruction. Right. And we're so afraid of it all. And my constant practice and it's so hard. And the one thing I struggle with is just letting go and sort of letting it all happen.

But I think it's like the constant process that we're involved in is just hanging on to what we can and then releasing. Hang on and releasing. And I wonder, like, maybe that's why people like fishing so much. Because it's a constant. Yeah. Catch and release. Yeah. Catch and release. Like, there's something really beautiful to that. Except for the got people who catch it and eat it. Yeah. But then, you know, it's something you did is nourishing you.

So I kind of understand fishing on a more like philosophical level. Yeah. My dad used to love to fish. He did. Oh, my God. He was the worst at it. Did he take you? Yeah. Yeah. He was so bad. We used to go to this. Lake, Pleasant Lake in Governor New York.

The land of lifesavers. Oh, yeah? The man who created lifesavers was born in Governor New York, a little fame, little history for you. Also, I think inbreeding was also created there. No, they're great people. Who cares when you have lifesavers? Yeah, who cares? We would go fishing on this little lake, and I'll never forget this one day.

You know, he's just fishing off the dock. So you're not going to get a lot. Yeah. Wasn't that deep of a lake? And this lake actually is in the shape of Italy. Oh, really? It looks like the attempt, the boot. And so we're on the heel part of the boot where our camp was.

And he's off the dock and trying to get bass, always trying to get bass. And he would, you know, bribe me to go dig up crayfish from underneath the rocks. And I'd have to basically child labor what's going on in the studio. Right. In the form of lake life. And I would dig up all these crayfish for him. Yeah. Put him in the bucket.

But this one day I was protesting because I wanted to get sun because I had a boy that summer that I thought was so cute. And I wanted to be nice and tan when I went back to school. and I was on the beach or on the little rocky beach just laying in the sun I didn't want to catch any crayfish so he had to use worm and worm wasn't really good

so he's casting and catching sunfish they're just like they're just small sunnfish they're sunnies and after a few I could hear him starting to swear and now he's starting to swear

at these fish and he real went and go son of a fucking bitch this fucking sunfish Fuck, what the fuck. And I'm just, I'm not even looking. I'm just listening to him and laughing. And then I look over and he unhooks one and like, punches it into the like.

What the fuck? Like, oh God, fishing's so relaxing, dad. I love fishing. It's so funny to have him be so aggressive towards fish. Don't worry, Pita. Most of them survived. Yeah, I'm sure they're doing just fine. They're doing great.

We both love Italian food. Love it. We both, I always think about when you told me that your grandmother would take ragu, would take ragu. You thought like, oh, my grandmother's sauce. And then you caught her with ragu. And she told you, I just doctored it up. She doctored up cans of ragu. It was my Aunt Carmela.

No one knew in the family. It's a secret that I've held to this day, but everyone's dead so I feel safe telling everybody. I think about it all the time. Yeah, I do too. Whenever I cheat and just go, like, I'm just going to use this sauce. She's like, they'll never know. My job was to keep everyone out of the kitchen. Right.

You know, everyone's like, oh, Carmella, the sauce. And her and I'd be like, you know, the trick was, that was on the inside. The trick was that my grandma Jean would handmaek yonkey. Oh, wow. So those were handmade, and she'd spend all day, night, making those. And so they were all laid out. There's nothing more beautiful than just a tray or trays of yonaki individually laid out with the fingerprints. Gorgeous.

It's like, you know, it's just like a physical love. Yeah. And then behind a few bags are cans of ragu hidden. Yeah. And so the marriage. Buried under the garbage. Yeah. There was marriage of authenticity with a little bit of ingenuity, we'll call it.

It's so great. The dinners were fantastic. Beautiful. So we like that and we know what's good and what's bad. Yes. But we also do a taste test on this on our little show. Is there a fucking food here? Yeah, but it's stuff that you find, process things that you find in the 7-Eleven, just to see what the kids are eating.

Do I have to close my eyes and eat it? No. It better not be like Fear Factor. No, it's not. I find stuff that I haven't tried, and I figure like the kids are into them. So this is a type of Cheetos called cheddar jalapeno crunchy. Okay, that's a lot. It's a lot.

That's a lot. First of all, he looks like that's toxic masculinity, whatever's going on in this. in this tube. Because his, got his mouth open and his legs played. It's just a lot. If I saw,

and he's got full sneakers out and this is not a healthy individual. I feel like this is the guy you were dating last time we hung up. You can't trust a guy who's in like, Nike's in the water. This is not a mentally fit person.

Right. So you have not tried these? No, I've never tried them. God, I love a jalapeno and I love a crunch. It could be great. I mean, look,

some of these things are great. Can we, okay, are you going to try it? What are you going to say? This ingredient list. Looks like war in peace. No, we're not looking at that. That's not important.

This is so against. I know. That's probably going to really good. Cheers. Cheers. It's my favorite flavors, and I love a crunch. Oh, God, it tastes like high school. Yeah, I'm 12.

Mm. Yeah. That's the flavor of childhood. No, no, that's a good thing. What I mean? Like, this takes me back. Why is that not good? Well, it's not bad to me.

I'm not saying being. taken back or feeling nostalgic is bad. I'm just saying that's so much of what my nostalgic is wrapped up in is eating garbage. Fake food. Yeah. Look at the side. It tastes more summer.

Taste more summer. They kind of nailed it. Unless your name is summer. These are really good. These aren't bad. Does cheese nuts make a jalapena flavor? Let me see the ingredients. I can't.

Are you going to? I'm going to. Okay, but wait. Do you let go of the bag or is it? Do you do? I'm going to give it to you, but out of 10, what would you give it before you see the ingredients? That's fair. You don't have to be fair and be honest.

For a snack like this, probably about an eight. Yeah. It's pretty good. The crunch is there. I'm going to give it an eight too. You know? Just the right jalapia. Now you can look at the ingredients.

Oh, God, Chester. Chester Cheetah. It looks like a guy does not have a very deep conversation. I think you like them, though. Oh, no. Oh, God, what's that? No. Nope, nope, nope, no.

Oh, no. Okay, the cheese, the only thing that's good in here is the cheese. Oh, boy. Oh, okay, that's good. Oh, ooh. Is there really cheese in it? Like real cheese? Yeah, so cheddar cheese, you know, and they put it in parentheses,

that's like what is in that. Milk, cheese, salt enzymes. Oh, so that's good. So the only thing that is in here that's not going to be carcinogenic is the cheese. Every, oh, wait. there's garlic powder. That's nice. In actual jalapeno peppers.

Very Italian. But then this is where the train gets off the track. Yellow 6, yellow 5, blue 1, red 40. Are we calling trains? What are we doing? You know what we're doing? We're just making it easier to classify the stuff on the shelf. You're right.

It's not bad. We could call it by the moxin mines. Or if you call it yellow number 5. It's true. They're like, let's give it. Look, a color to numbers fun. Kids love colors. Kids love numbers.

I saw a Frito commercial last night during the Olympics where they showed a bunch of guys herding cattle. And at the end of herding the cattle is very cinematic. And they were showing them get at the cattle and cowboys on the horses. Oh my God. I meant hurting like actually. No, hurting. No, like hurting. That would be a weird ad.

He was just punching cows like your dad would punch fish. And at the end they put some Fritos in a chili and had a meal and Frito. And I was like, I'm not sure if this is a joke. Like if they're going like too schmaltzy, like, like Fritos and, but I think it might have been very serious. That's very strange. Yeah. On a bowl of chili? The Fritos, I mean, they're pretty good.

For a junk food, it's pretty good. The texture of it, I'm a sucker for a crunch. I know. That's why I like bubbly water. I call it crunchy water. It just feels like little, like an applause break in your mouth. A little crunchy water. Yeah.

I love it. I'm just. I love it. it so much. I feel like I'm too fancy when I order. I'm like, can I have some crunchy water? Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I've missed you. It was nice getting to spend some time with you. Yeah. So you're taking some little time off. So if I go to the comedy store and stuff, we won't run into each other. No, I'm back. I'm getting back now. Yeah, I'm at the improv this week and maybe the comedy store I haven't checked, but I'm back.

Okay. Swinging around time. All right, cool. Yeah. I'm going to be pretty low. for a bit also. Yeah, and then I go back out on tour. Are you always on tour? Always. Yeah. Do you keep consolidated or do you sprinkle it out throughout the year? It's sprinkled.

And yeah, I never really plan it out like I'm going on tour now. But people market it that way now. So I'm just taking what I've always done. And I'm like, here's this tour and put a name on it. But it's really just been 30 years of just doing it. Constantly on the road. Maybe you like it that way. I like like a little chunk of time where I'm going in and out.

Yeah. That's what I've started to do. I'm trying to do that more. Right now, I mean, this is right now is the beginning of a chunk of, I'm not going to do anything until September. Yeah, same. Yeah. Like a fall thing. Yeah.

East Coast. Yeah. I know. Those people, the East Coast people are the best. I know. They're gritty. Yeah. A lot of them, you know, a lot of F bombs early in the morning.

You're very angry. Yeah. Not happy with their lives. But also kind of really supportive. Yeah, that's why they're great comedy audiences. You really are. You complain. You go to like San Diego.

They're like, why are you complaining? God, it's so nice out. Did you see the seals? We're really working on the homelessness. Anything we could tell the people? Do they need to know anything? My tour this fall is called the Hot Sister comedy tour. Nice.

I'll be mostly on the East Coast, a couple of California dates. Why is it called Hot Sister? It's a joke that's in there. Yeah. Yeah, about my dad. forgetting I was his daughter and hitting on me. Yeah, still got it. Take that, Sophia, Lauren.

Amazing. And people can find that where? Jessie Mae.com. My podcast, Sharp Tongue podcast. Yeah. I also have a grief survival guide on that podcast. Are you still doing that? Yeah.

That's great. I just want to experience things or find a guest that I think is interesting. I might actually, I'm starting to focus more on that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, just in the podcast. world. Because it's like we can be funny on stage and there's so many places, but I want a little corner of my world to talk about things.

You've got a really great sense of all this stuff. Well, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It would be really sad, though, if I listen to your grief podcast and the next episode is how you're dealing with being on this podcast. 122%. You got Rins.

We got Riz. We got Riz. We totally have Riz. Come on. We still got it. Yeah.