Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 238 - David Alan Grier

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

David Alan Grier breaks bread with Tom Papa and talks acting, kids, and how he changed the culture. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's just like, I don't know. I just stuck to it. I was like, I don't know. I would go to the gym. You'd rather think you were having an affair than that you were putting stuff in your own hair. Drugs, anything. It's Breaking Bread. This episode of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa is brought to you by Wild Grain.

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Green. Thank you so much for being here. I baked you some bread. I just have to touch it. Yeah. It's, yeah. Where are we? Because coming up here, there are a lot of props, a lot of, I was thinking, I saw this video of Michael Jackson, like, when he was on a shopping spree. But it, I, yeah. Yeah, it was kind of like, you know, those fake antique storefronts that you pass with a lot of ornate glass and he was walking through it. That is two of those camels head. You know, and he spent like, you know. I got $5 million. Oh, yeah, trillion dollars. I remember that. Yeah, that is kind of what this building is.

We have a lot of that stuff going on. It's a prop house vibe. Yeah, but that's not a prop. That's real bread. I baked that with my hands. Did you really? I swear I did. Okay.

Because it's surrounded. Well, there's some fake stuff around. Okay. But that was my David Allen Greer bread yesterday when I was baked that. of bread during the pandemic. You did? Yes. For some reason.

Yeah. That was a solitary activity that we could all do. Yeah. And there was no yeast around. No, but I did get the sourdough starter packs at Whole Foods for some reason during that period. Uh-huh. Yeah. Did it work?

Were you good at it? Did you enjoy it? I did the no need. Yeah. I put it in like a cast iron pot. Uh-huh. Just put it in the oven. and it came out.

It's beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful. You seem to be from your Instagram into some of the little finer things. I saw you did some peach juice. Oh, no, I did cactus, pear, and orange juice. Nice. Because there's this big huge cactus on the lower part of my hillside,

and I've been eyeing it. But I didn't think the prickly pears were ripe because they're kind of green, and they just had a hint of orange. And finally, I just went down there and picked them, and you popped them open, and they're just this deep, deep orange and they taste amazing.

Really? Yeah, I didn't know that there were, there's green, there's orange, and then there's red. Okay. So I learned something. Yeah. Now here's my lead question. Yes.

Oh, boy. Because it's, no, because it's with the way that you treat your food, the way that you have, the way that you dress, you as a legendary actor. Why, why, why don't you get stuck on that part? You as a heck, heck. Because I was going to say comic. I was going to, I was going to say comic, but then I said an actor.

And when you were a kid, I remember in an interview, you said, you know, you had a lot of professionals around you and your family, but you wanted to be an artist. Yes. So now that you're here, how on the money were you as a little kid thinking, I want to live an artist's life? Well, actually, what I don't think I mentioned is I used to draw. And I drew my apartment how I wanted it. It was going to be an apartment with posters.

It was in the 60s. There are a lot of posters. I have a big Afro. It's bigger. And it got bigger and bigger. And then mutton chops and like a cool little, a lot of hair going on and platform boots and just a cool. Because I grew up in a house and an old beautiful house. So I thought the opposite of that was an apartment.

Somehow that was cooler. Whatever you don't have. Yeah. He was like, this is cool. Thin walls, neighbors right on top. Man, this is better than a big house and a yard. You know, so that's what I just started doing artists things like playing guitar and and going, looking at, you know, museums and drinking coffee and all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I do that. I do do that a lot. Yeah. So do you, but do you feel like, do you, was it everything? Was the journey of being an artist? Was it what you thought, like the your little idea when you're like, Let me go live in an apartment? Yeah, because...

Yeah. By the way, I've been in my house almost 30 years. So I'm, you know, I'm so glad not to be an apartment. Of course, yeah. You know, because I just don't have to... Yeah. What? Turn him, turn him, turn to music, you know, all that.

You just don't want to. Or... Yeah, the parties. I actually, I had an apartment in New York where I thought I'd witnessed a murder. What? And they were having sex. It was just like... Ah!

Oh! Yeah! And then I were like, foot yourselves. And I was like, he just killed this woman. And it happened again and again. I felt, oh, okay. All right. They're just having fun.

But I was panicked. I need to be alone. Yeah. Yeah. My apartment got shot up. Wow. On Thanksgiving Day in New York City. Where were you in New York?

The apartment was on 78th Street between first and second. Okay. They called it. German town. Oh, yeah. Yorkville. Yes, Yorkville. And I'd gone over to a friend to have dinner and I came back and, you know, kind of

boozy. I turned the lights on. I'm like, hmm. Now, here's how my mind worked. At the time, I was like, oh, they must be doing construction. And a nail gun malfunction. And I was like, wow, that is a big nail hole. And I found them like, just riddled in the hallway.

Wow. If I would have been there, I definitely would have gotten killed and shut up. And total New York. So I'm like, holy fuck. And I realized these were 40, you know, 9mm bullet bullets. Slugs. Yeah, slugs. Like five or six of them.

So I called the police. The detectives go all through the building. It was a small building. And they couldn't find anyone. The guy above was, you know, nothing. So they leave me there. And about five in the morning, this, let me say, swarthy looking gentleman, Knox.

I opened the door, he goes, he was all sweaty. He goes, look, I'm upstairs. I got an illegal sublet, but don't tell the land. I'm trying not to get kicked out. And I was like, okay. Only in New York. And I left out the part where they finally found the guy. Yeah.

And they held him. You know, on 5150, he was, you know, mental health hold, but they can only hold him for like 72 hours. And on the 73rd. hour. And he looked like, you know, he just got out the... I'm back. Yeah, and I'm like, okay.

But that was the same apartment where the windows were open and I thought he killed his girlfriend, but he was only pleasure. As we all know, mental illness fucks are the best. That's been established. Let's not even... A whole lot of fun. Well, for her, it definitely was. So was this the early days of finding your actor way?

Yeah, this happened me. I graduated in 81. Okay. You know, I was working. I always, I was working immediately. So, how'd that happen? I just, I started auditioning for this, uh, Broadway musical about Jackie Robinson, which, you know, when you think of the first African American major league ball player,

it screams musical. You know. Oh, yeah. I was the lead and I, and I actually had, I said, Mama, that's the white man. game. Damn it, I can play it too. And then my mom would go, Jackie ain't the time. Jackie, something for you. Yeah. That's amazing. Surprisingly, it did not succeed. How long did it run? I thought it ran for forever, but it was about three weeks, like a month, but we did a month

preview. We never went out of town, so it felt much longer. Right. But man, I mean, right out of the gate, you're standing there on Broadway. Absolutely. Everyone came. I remember I met Gene Kelly and Paul McCartney because the guy who did the musical, his name was Martin Sharnan. He directed and created Annie, which was a huge hit. And I remember I went to see Annie and Sarah Jessica Parker was in Annie. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was like, so emotional. And they're like, why are you so emotional? I just hope we run for eight years like, hey, honey.

That's what's making me cry. What's our hard not like? She was so sweet, though. Yeah. Very sweet. But I mean, good times, man. Yeah. How was, did you get into Yale quickly?

Did they get into Yale quickly? Like, did they torture you? Are they one audition and you're in? At the time, 1978, I flew in from Michigan. I was at University of Michigan. My roommate in college was an actor. His name is Reggie E. Kathy. He's passed away now, but he got in too.

Wow. Which is crazy. Black, two, black kids. They only let in 12 people. And like, this is pre-social media, but tons of people applied. Yeah. You know. No, that was rarefied air.

Yeah, man. So it was... Who were your classmates? Well, I went, I'm going to tell you like, um, Kathy Borowitz, Kate Burton, Jane Casmeric. You probably know her. Yeah. John Titoro. Whoa.

Yeah, he was one year behind. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Obsessed with Scorsese. We all were. Yeah. Because John was from, I think he was from New York, the village or something.

Yeah. We would talk about that stuff. and rock dutton charles dutton came in later and um so man such a great program it's so crazy good actors i mean yeah for real yeah what's your favorite shakespeare um for a long time it was titus andronicus because the evil villain is the erin the more and he makes all the white people kill themselves you know so i loved that i was you know You think Othello's cool. Your son, Bathwell, he was supposed to be like a study for a store.

You know, I train thy sons to deal with Bacianus and, you know, they killed a girl and raped her and threw her in the hole. I did it all. You know, like, oh, Aaron, you know, and he just goes on and on. Yeah. So there was a, that was my monologue for many years. Man. His, you know, where he confesses his deeds.

Right. And it's just horrible. Yeah. I tutored to thy sons. You know, it's just on and on. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. The, how cool was it getting a Tony after?

Because you start from the outside view, it's like the, it's the prototypical New York actor thing of like, you went to the great school. You come, you live in the shit apartment that gets shot with bullet holes. but you like go through the whole thing and then like to actually 40 years to get the way to like stand up there for the Tony I was nominated for my first Tony from the first which was my first hold on right it's my age oh they want the Tony back get off don't do that podcast no but I was nominated for that was my first professional job right I was nominated for a Tony that year and so for many years I would I thought about what would have happened if I won the Tony then? Yeah. And I, this was my fourth nomination. Every time I appeared on Broadway, I would be nominated. Man.

So finally, when I won, it, uh, I was totally shocked and surprised. And everyone backstage, I was, can you believe I won? They were like, yeah, we knew you're gonna win. I mean, no, no, why did you tell me that? I could have enjoyed my breakfast. No, but I mean, because, you know, an award is there's so many variables involved. You cannot chase an award. There's politics, sentiment, there's everything.

And for a Tony in particular, that's a very hard to win. Yeah. You know, your webbies, your potty. No, but anyway. Here's a diamond cousin. For me, for me, it was, it was a big deal. Oh, it's such a, I love watching the Tonys more than anything because those winners were in it for the right reasons. They, like they, they just wanted to act or be in the productions.

Also, making no money for years. Oh, there's no easy pass. No. Like, I remember, the reason why people are so emotional is because usually the average music. musical takes like from a year to three years to even make it to the stage. You know, backers auditions and small shitty productions. Yeah. Production of just the first act and then the second act.

Then you gotta raise the money. You gotta, it takes years and years. So we're finally there. Uh, you see why they're crying and falling all over. It's not like, yeah. Thank you. Thank you to my makeup artist, most of all. And my dietitian.

And my lawyer. My first, second and third wife. Thank you all. No, man. Fucking Broadway is raw. It's, yeah. And everyone's just in it just for the love of it. It's such a beautiful thing.

So you know what happened that night? Jerry O'Connell, who is in the play with me, he inadvertently, when he texted me. You know, because I texted, I said, thank you, Jerry, because the first day of rehearsal, this soldier's play. He said, David, you're going to win the Tony. And I was like, Jerry, please. He'd never been on Broadway. I was like, you're breaking every rule.

Don't sing in the dressing room. Don't say the M word. Don't say, McBet. You know, he would just be like, woo. And I'm like, just please don't. He would bring it up constantly. And I'm like, just please shut up. So anyway, I said, from your mouth to God's ears, look at, look at what's happened.

And, you know, something like that. Yeah. And he posted it and listed my telephone number. Oh, God. And I got hundreds of calls. But everyone was nice. Really? That's so great.

More emotional. That's amazing. Literally, I got like voicemails like, hey, man, this is Mack from Ohio. I called to talk shit, but I'm just really happy for you. Amazing. And I love that you won. So I just was like blubbering all night. Oh, that's beautiful.

And they couldn't even prank me. Yeah. So I didn't get one, you know, what a dick. Who cares? Yeah. That's okay. You know, whatever. No, no, it was all support, which was fucking even crazy.

It's so crazy. Yeah. And to be playing another role in the same? Well, I never, you know, because when I did Soldier's Story. Right. No, Soldiers play. My roommate, my former roommate, Reggie Kathy, he had auditioned and he said, there's a role. It had won the Pulitzer.

It was off Broadway. It was a big deal. And he said, there's a role in there. where you have to sing and play guitar. I know you could do it with your eyes closed. I can't. And he went in and he didn't get it. So I called my agents.

They sent me in. I auditioned for Douglas Turner Ward, and I got this role. So that was the first thing. Yeah. Who was in the cast. It was Sam Jackson, Denzel Washington. Yeah. I mean, heavy.

We all just hung out. And I thought that was over. Yeah. Then the movie came while I was in the play. And that's very rare. still that people go from the play version to the movie version. And this was in the 80s

because I remember there's an older black actor I forget his name, he goes, and he listed who is going to play our part. You know that actor from what is it? The White Shadow, he's going to do you. I was like, Thomas Carter's going to do your role.

And we were like, fuck, man, really? But half of us got cast. Sam could didn't get arrested. He did not get in the movie. So we're all like partying it up like, wow, tough bananas. What they were happening to Sam? I wonder what's going to happen to that guy. Meanwhile, he has become the huge fucking star in the millennium. Insane. But in that moment, you know, just a stupid actor. And we're like, too bad, Sam. You know. I love those stories. There was a Charles Groton in Charles Gruden's book, he talks about this funny looking guy who runs after. when they were in the same acting class, and he runs up to him, and he's asking him some advice, and he just, and Charles Grown really felt so sorry for him. And he walked away, he's like, geez, was ever going to happen to that Gene Wilder guy? Oh, always, always.

And on the flip side, there were people who I went to school with who got every, you know, lead, every part, and like heavy hitters, you know, your gorkies, your checkoffs, your gibsons, you're getting me other people. and nothing. Just never. Yeah. Nothing, man. And back then, this is a different time.

Back then, when you graduated, you did what they called the league auditions. These are agents, theaters from all over studios. Yeah. And they put your name in the hallway and who wanted to see you. Wow. And they're actors who, nothing. But it was all public. Oh.

You know, it's like Tony Bologna is like, yeah, Universal, MGM. You know, everybody wants to see you. You know, the Juliet. Taylor. These are huge. At the time, huge. She cast everything. And they just list it. And so it was all out there. Yeah. I'm sorry. You're okay? It's cold space.

My daughter's in wellness classes. We didn't have any fucking wellness classes. No, they were called bars. Thank you. I went to, like I also applied a circle in the square and Nico Saccharopoulos. May he rest him please. He was one of the instructors there. And I sat in on an acting class and here were his notes. You know, again, we were like 19, 20. He's like, come in, Yeppe Hodorov.

Where is a Samavur? Thank you, Elze Bieta. I would think all comrades should work. You know, it's like, Chuck Off. So he sits there and he goes, this girl, go over and he goes, may I ask a question, are you high on LSD? Because you look crazy. No, I mean, insane.

I've asked you so many times. Don't. Why'd you do that? It's so unattractive. And you're so awful. And, you know, you had to sit there and just take all of this. Yeah. And be, you know, and then you go back out.

Oh, you couldn't. They would be sued. Did you have any teachers like that when you, how did you, what were your favorite teachers? Were they the tough, like old coaches, where they, would they nurture you? I still am. I want tough love. I mean, we all want. wanted to succeed.

But the first thing I say to a director when I work to this day is direct me. Good, bad, less, more, or else we're going to be here all fucking day. I've been in those situations where Tom, can we try it again? I hear, I'm going to give you some words. When I say sweeter, I don't mean disposition. I mean, you know how sugar tastes? Okay. I want to see that.

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for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash Papa. When you're ready, action. And your mom's watching. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, what? And then finally I'm like, good, bad. Bigger, louder, soft.

Okay, I get that. Look this way. Yeah, or I'm just going, what the fuck? So I've had some intense, intense evaluations. The dean's wife, Robert Brewstein was the dean of the acting school, the Yale Drama School. Now it's the Geffen School of Drama. The Yale Drama School, his wife, Norma, she was our first year acting teacher, and she would come in eating a donut at 9 a.m. and go,

before we do the scenes, I just want your kids to know I could kick any of you out. Okay, Tony, let me see your scene. We were like, you know, like, uh, absolutely terrified. I know, but I like those kind of like mean, just to the point. Yeah. I thrive with that. Yes, I mean, so, so. Yeah.

Intimacy coordinator. It was like, oh. It was the Wild West. Yeah. It was absolutely the Wild West. For good or bad, it was just the way it was. And by the way, as a black actor, there were me, my roommate, who was Reggie. Then there was another black woman, Izzy Monk.

And the black students before we got there, so this is 1978. All those black actors, they told us they played maids and butlers. Right. They didn't play leads. And when we came in, we were given roles. So that in and of itself was revolutionary. But, you know, actors. We were bitching anyway.

But I'm in Hamlet, but I'm playing some, I'm not Hamlet. I'm playing some fucking dude with a dagger. I don't know, fuck it. I'll just go get drunk. You know, we didn't give a shit. We were like, eh, they want me to play at white. Yeah, right? What?

Oh, I'll tell you a good story. Is this too corny and Shakespearey? But this is a good. No, please. George Roy Hill. may he rest in peace everybody's dead I'm talking about he directed the sting

so he came in and he directed a production which Reggie E. Kathy was in and it was a jacobian tragedy I forget the name of it and Reggie was playing a role that he really hated and so we were all sitting around

you know drinking smoking weed that's what we did every moment we were not actually acting at the time and he said I know I'm going to tell this motherfucker I'm going to show him tomorrow they were in tech

week. Tech week is where you do your dress rehearsal for lights and everything. Okay, so he said tomorrow's run through. I'm going to do my entire role as step and fetch it. Just to show George Roy Hill how fucking bullshit the role is. And I'm like, okay, man, because I wasn't in the production. You just have a drink in your hand. Go for it.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, go for it. Here's what happened. So they did the whole run through. Every time Reggie came on, yeah, sir, me. both, man. You know, everybody's like, what the fuck is he doing? They do the whole run through. George Roy Hill sits down and he says,

now before we begin our notes, I want to talk about a particular actor and what I saw done on that stage tonight. Reggie stand up. So Reggie stands up like, yeah, what? He said, what you did tonight was the bravest, most courageous choice I've ever seen on stage.

loved it, keep it. And Reggie's tears are running down his face. It's like, it didn't always plan. Oh no. And I come in, I'm like, what the fuck happened? They're like, did you not here? What the fuck, man?

What are you going to do? Yeah, it was just I knew this is what they wanted from us. It was pandemonium. Pandemonium. And I just sat there like, it was so fucked up. It was like Twilight Zone. Yeah. It was like Twilight Zone. You know. Was it?

Was it, I mean, because it's pretty early, was it still the era of, what do you mean you're going to go do TV? We weren't there for TV. I mean, I was because I've always been a whore. But I mean, I wanted, I'm going to do anything. Yeah. Fuck. I'm trying to, I'm being serious because, listen, Andy Warhol said this. He said, a smart artist is a rich artist.

He didn't say a good artist. He didn't say a great artist. And I always took that to mean, you know, you got to. do what you have to do to allow you to do other things. Right. But we were trained. No, you're trained to go to like the Minneapolis rep. Yeah.

And do a heavy, what, Comedia del Art production of Romeo and Juliet or something for $300. Yeah. I wanted to get the training. I've always done stage, but my goal was always to do other things. Right. Yeah. But at the time, that was considered, you know, it was like, you were with us, David. Right.

So I can't imagine what my old instructors thought when they saw me on Living Color. They were like, what the fuck is you doing? But you think so, though? I don't know. I never talked to them. Yeah. But in a strange way, out of all the stuff I did, that was the closest to a repertory. Right.

Company, I felt. Yeah. Because we were all together. Like this week, we're doing your characters. I'm playing a smaller role. And next week, it's my stuff. So it was rotating. Yeah.

And we had total trust, which you only get in a company that knows you and you know them. So in a strange way, it all worked out. Right. Yeah. It definitely, and just having such impact on the culture was so great. I couldn't think of a teacher being like, no, they should be doing it. They never reached out, but I do remember, like, Richard Gilman, who is like a playwright, very famous, brilliant, dramaturg. Not dramaturg, theater intellect.

He described, you know, when he saw all the kids came in and they said, you know, Henry Winkler, who also went to Yale Drama School, became the Fonz. And he was like, what's Fonz? What is a FONs? The kids came in, you're talking about Henry Winkler on your socks? I saw them everywhere, you know, and like that was kind of their thing. You know, real intellects. They're like, what is it? You do a podcast where you talk to people?

Who's listening to this? Henry Winkler mentions that in his book. Oh, yeah. They took the stuffing out of them for being the Fonz. And then 10 years later, we're like, so Henry, we're looking for donations. Not only, but I'm on the board. I'm on the board of you. But it's changed now.

Yeah. It's the business, everything. And also, you know, that was a time to traverse mediums. You're too young, but I remember when, like, say, John Travolta was on Welcome Back Cotter, and then he did Saturday Night Fever. Right. That was unheard of for a sitcom actor to become the biggest film star in the world. Yeah.

No, at that time, if you did television, that's... That's all you're going to do. Right. And now, no, one thing feeds another. Yeah. I'm just waiting for like, you know, he's got 30 million followers. This young man is playing Romeo, you know. It's like, you know, MC Stitch, you know, or some prank.

Yeah. Prank guy, you know, is going to happen. But it was different then. It was very segregated and very hoity-to-y. Right. It's cool that TV's gotten. TV's gotten so good. Like it's, you know what I mean?

I mean, even like, even, I mean, the show that you have coming out, St. Dennis Hospital. It's just shot in such a cool, you, oh, it didn't exist that. Yeah, it didn't exist. Like, you have depth of these characters right off the bat. It's like that, you know, if it was like that back in the day, they would have been like, of course you're going to go do those things because they're just as rich. There's no that.

There's no that. Like, you know, when I came out. There was Roots was the big black thing. Or they would do like Hollywood Housewives. That was a big television movies. Right. The Winds of War. Right.

You know, that kind of stuff, which is kind of corny. Yeah. They were filmed not really. Yeah. And now, man, and then there were movies. Right. I mean, my goal graduating was like I wanted to be an MPC. It was a multi-picture contract.

So, you know, I'd be signed for like three years. huge parts. Yeah. Doing something amazing and then you have two more films in the can. Yeah. You know, that was my goal. Yeah. Nothing.

Yeah. Yeah. Just watching the style of like those old sitcoms. I was watching Barney Miller the other night and they were just so tight. Oh, yeah. Right on each character. They'd give out their their minds. Hey, Bond.

Hey, Bond. Yeah, what, Smitty? Right down the list. There's always a little fruit cake. left after Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. My wife watched Welcome Back Outer, just so you mentioned that.

She was like, it was just a 20-minute catchphrase fest. Horshack would give his line. Get out of here. I forget what he would go. Mr. Cate. Yeah, Mr. Cotet. And that was five minutes, you know. And Freddie Boom, Boom.

They all had their saying. Yeah. Yababado do. And they were like. What? Where? What? You know, but huge.

Huge. Huge. Huge. And they, like, made money. You know, back then I would, I have always made lists. If I do this for this, I have this many albums, this many shoelaces, whatever. I figured if I did three years on a sitcom, I would be set for life. Right.

Because I'd be making a ton of money, like $800,000 a year. Yeah. Okay? I had a mansion that my hope book that I had pasted there. I was on the shore of New Jersey, Classy. Ooh, nice. And that was $350,000. It was a beautiful house.

I said, I'll have to have that. And I'll have enough money to live, $50,000 a year. You know, that's not a bad. It's not a bad dog. No, I would be married seven times. No, but I mean, you know. Half again. Half again.

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But man, it's got to feel pretty cool to be, I mean, Tony aside, to be on a network sitcom now. when the target for that was always pretty small. But now it's so small. They're so few. At this point? Yeah. I remember, so this, before this, I remember when I did cool kids.

That's like five years ago. And like guest stars, you know, when you talk to X, they're like, what's your order? And I said, we did 13 and we have nine back. And they were like, oh, you mean like the old days? Because, you know, the old season was 21 to 26 shows. Yeah. on a sitcom.

Yeah. And then it became, you know, an order for Netflix or HBO is like six. Yeah. No residual. Nothing. You know. Yeah, but you get freedom.

Well, you can say, fuck. That's cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, yeah. So one of the, one of the crew the other days, well, we were a rap, but it was more like the other month. Because it's been like a month now.

You said, They were just really, we all know that it's rare. Like this, I did this pilot. Yeah. And it was submitted right before the strike. And the day before we struck, it was picked up for the season. And I was like, yay. You know, because that was a long strike, man.

And I would call my lawyer, I'd be like, can I get released now? Just because it was six months. Yeah. Like, it's, nope. It says right here, line 27. You have to have brain cancer. Yeah. You know, so it was a typical.

Good thing, though. I mean, now that you, you know, you go through all that uncertainty. Yeah, but it's a typical actor move. Like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Stupid. You know, so I would. Yeah. But anyway. But it looks like you have fun with this character. It seems like it's got, it seems like you're using all of your tools. It's well. Like you have this good charm about you, but also.

kind of mean. Always. Yeah, well, that's the one thing like when Justin and Eric are the showrunners or the creators, they just go, well, David, we just don't want people to be, think you're mean. And I'm like, okay. Because he's here. Yeah, but that's the kind of beauty of casting you is that. He's giving up. And you could say the meanish shit, but there's still that lovable thing that you can't control that just kind of ooze out.

Yeah. Well, when I read it, it goes, you know, he's given up. This man, he's the oldest. doctor there. So I'm sure he, I came in in like, bell bottoms, a leather jacket and a big afro. Like, we're going to turn the whole medical institution upside down. See, what I'm here to do is give medicine to all the oppressed people. And now he's like, I don't care. Yeah. Right. I just fucking, I don't care. They're still in my parking spot. Oh, yeah. If he were held captive by terrorists for two years, he would be like, yeah, it wasn't that bad.

I got a lot of A long time My family didn't bug me Yeah He's definitely They're nice guys Yeah He's definitely

Like he's not the sentimental guy But I love you Yeah Yeah Yeah A lot of side eye You really want to do that

I I've been admiring your style recently Thank you You Were you always Styley When you were

Like just in real life I've got bolder You have I mean, I always loved overalls, which is what I'm wearing. Somehow, I think it's radio, but there's a camera right there. Yeah, it's close to radio. Yeah. But, I mean, I always wore overalls, but what I didn't realize is when I was a college student, that was kind of hippie adjacent.

Now I just look like a chaircropper. Your impoverished Negro grandfather, like, was it like up north? They let you vote up there? You know, like my grandmother, she was born in 1900. Wow. And so when she would come visit, her first thing was like, are there other color people here? I was like, Grandma, why are you whispering? First of all, yes, yes.

Okay. All right. You know, that's what I look like now. But, I mean, it's like a onesie. Was she a good cook? My grandmother, she was a southern woman. Like, she, it's long story. I'm going to get right down to the meat of it.

In her latter years, you know, my dad took around. She was really at that point, in and out of the hospital and stuff. And I came for breakfast. He lived in San Diego. And she cooked the following. Neck bones. Spaghetti.

Fried chicken. Collard greens. Sweet potatoes. Bacon and eggs. And I looked down. Yeah. I looked down. I was like, holy shit.

And she was like, Dave, you, you. She always called me. Dave, hungry? And I was like, yeah, but damn. And my dad was the only child and he just looked at me like, yeah. Do you think she cooked like that in her whole way or she was just downloading everything she knew? She, I mean, that's what she did.

She cooked, man. It was southern cooking. Southern cooking. Oh, man. So there's a part of me that cooks like that because I do love to cook. Yeah. And that's my, then there's the other part where I'm on like, vegan diet like Monday through Friday or else I would be 800 pounds yeah you got to pick your

spots yeah man but if you were if you were to cook for me when I come over to your house and it's not on the vegan nights what is the thing you'd show off with I would probably do like fresh sea urchin pasta whoa you know something like that it tastes really amazing sauteed vegetables, great wine. You know, that's kind of what I do. Oh, man. I do like long, torturous recipes. Uh-huh.

You know, just anything that's like, this takes two days, I'm in. Yeah. Anything that makes you, like, go to the supermarket for a $20 thing of herbs that you're going to use half a teaspoon for only in this dish. Yeah, you've got to get, like, to lose sausage. And, you know, all that. But I love to cook. And part of it is, it's just soothing to me. Yeah.

Like when I was in New York, yeah, working on a Sunday, I would always do something low and slow. Just the smell, the sounds, it's gurgling. The best. I love it, too. When anything where I can get onions in the oil early, because I know that's going to fill the house up. And everyone, as my kids roll through, they're just going to be like, what's going on in here? Yeah.

How many kids do you have? Two. And how old are they? 22 and 19. Both girls. Those are grown people. Kids. No.

Hey, pop-ho. No, they're like, how's your husband? You know. Kids. They're like, we might come home for Thanksgiving. Yeah. Those are. I know.

I know, I'm a pretty good cook. Yeah. Do you have kids around the house now? I have a 16-year-old who's amazing. And the thing is, you know, When she was so young, much younger, I was so worried about, oh, she'll look me up on the internet. No, no, the beauty of kids when they're teenagers, they don't give a fuck about you. They're worried about their little teenage world.

Like literally, she's doing her homework with her best friend on FaceTime. Right? Whatever. Yeah, it's my dad. He's coming in now. And they don't give a fuck. They really don't. You know, she's like, my friend told me that you did some show.

I was like, you mean in a living color to change the culture? You're funny. Anyway, did you? Yeah. Did people think that was funny? Right. They don't care. They really don't.

They really don't. It is awesome. It is pretty great. They don't have to be so mean about it, though. My daughter's been doing a thing when she was home for like four months in the summer where she takes unflattering pictures of me. Like from here, like getting the double neck, getting me in like shorts. And then sharing those.

with the world. My daughter knows better than that. But every picture with me is embarrassing. When she's young, like in elementary school, I came with overalls to pick her up from school and one of her friends. This is like when she was in fourth grade. And she goes,

does your father a farmer? When I went trick-or-treating with Lulu one year, she was cosplay. She was like in the anime and everything. She was all decked out in this futuristic, beautiful costume. I was there overall's hat. And the hipster.

shit goes, I love your costume. To me, I'm like, this is not. Little was dying. She was dying. Do you have to make a conscious decision that this is who you are now, fashion-wise? Like, I'm just going, you just kind of evolved and came out and this is what you're doing. I did come out fully. Yeah. Like, because it's all vintage denim. Right, right. Plus, I'm making enough money to actually buy the vintage denim. them that I couldn't afford it for because it's really expensive. What about when you were rocking the big beard? Oh, I was, but that was a pandemic.

Oh, that was pandemic beard. It looked really great though, but it was like we can, you know, like Letterman made that choice. He's going to go that way. I didn't know I could grow it. Yeah. And then I grew it and I was like, I'm bald on my head. So that was the only place I could grow it.

But then all the women in my life, my girlfriend, my fucking daughter, everybody, female. was like, just, it's just gross. Oh, really? Yeah. My daughter, she goes, it makes you look old. Makes you look like my grandpa, daddy. That's the killer. That's the thing that'll make you shift.

I was like, okay. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. There's so many. And, you know, you seem to, I saw you post the other night about that stat that, like, I don't know, it was like, oh, bald. Eighth, seven percent of women prefer. They said the sexiest man is a bald. man with a beard. And you were like, I know, I knew it. I said, I fucking knew it. And I was like, man, he really embraces it. And I'm, I still have like three hairs left, but I just, I just got a haircut

today. And I'm thinking, maybe I just shave it, but I actually, can I say something to you? Yes. And this is not racial or racist, but white bald men and black bald men, those are two different very different. So I would say, same white shorts, black shorts. I would say test it out. Mm-hmm. Because some white guys look, what disease do you have? Autoimmune? Or what weird club do you belong to? A real pervy. Real pervy.

I got to shave my head because, you know, like, I feel cleaner. You know, like, what? So I would say try it. And then also you got your beard going. My spirit animal in the white bald experience is John Lithgow. I'm following Lithgow. He just, this is what this is kind of Lithgowish. Just listen.

Have you ever met John? Only on Zoom. He is the best. And also, he's a guy who I hope to be like when I get older. He's looking for me because he's zest for life, really energetic. Every time I've seen or interacted, hey, David. Like, wow. This guy just did he a lot of Coke.

I know. I want to be that guy. Yeah, man. Just perky. Yeah. And the stuff he's always done. Like he's really... Yeah, man.

The stuff he's done is always interesting. Do you see that book he came out with? He wrote a book of poems about everyone in the Trump administration? Yes. So brilliant. Like, he's a guy who I definitely would go see and just talk. Yeah. You know, like in a theater.

Just go talk. You would just be in a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, he would be amazing. He's definitely one of my heroes. Back to our uncomfortable moment. So you seem very... very, like I said, in an inspiration in the follically challenged and you seem to embrace it.

But then we found this picture, and I don't know what era this was. That is fake. That's not real. It seems like you were rocking a toupee. That is not. Someone put that on post-haste because I'll tell you right now. This is my Tony suit. Okay.

And someone just put that on. All right. But there was a theory. It may or may not have been that guy over there. There was a period where I was losing my hair and I would flock it. You know, flocking is where they take this dry fiber and they spray it on your scalp and it makes you have a full head of hair. Yeah. And I was dating my daughter's mother.

And I remember a couple times she said, I found these black specks in my pillow all over. What is that? I was like, I don't know. Okay, because my hair is not this hair. and you're the only person here. It's just like, I just stuck to it. I was like, I don't know. I would go to the gym.

You'd rather think you were having an affair than that you were putting stuff in your own hair. Drugs, anything. Like when I was on dancing with the stars on time, we did this big workout, you know, rehearsal. And I look in the mirror. And, you know, I'd flocked my hair. It was all black and velvety.

And it was, I was sweating. And there was like a bead of black. black flock, fake hair dust, perspiration, and hair dye. Juliani. Yes, it was Giuliani-esque. And I looked in the mirror and again, I said, I'm gonna lie. And I just wiped it and I was like, hey, let's take a break. And everybody's looking at my head.

I'm like, I don't, I'm just, what are you looking at? It's not ready. It's not good. I wasn't ready. That's what happened to me when I, my wife walked in in the early days of losing hair and she caught me putting Rogaine drops on my head. Yes.

Just that. Her seeing me go bleep, bloop. I was like, I'd rather be bald. Yes. I'd rather be bald. You know, if your wife catches you taking by aggregate. I still love you. It's not, it's still me.

It's not the pill. I mean, okay. There's certain things. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. Why don't they have a national coming out day for bald people? I know. Yeah.

But I love it now. You look great. You look great. You know what's cool is that you look great, but you don't look like that different from, like, it's still your, yeah, it's still, it wouldn't make any difference. It started, I started shaving when I did race on Broadway, this David Mamet play. And when I first started shaving, I had my dad's old razor, which you put those little, you know, straight. Yeah. And my head looked like prosciutto.

It just literally was like. James Spader, those guys, like, oh boy, David, what's going on? I was like, what? I shaved my head. You're going to bleed. You shouldn't do that. Exactly. So I had to get it down.

Yeah. I had to get it down. But now it's... How cool is it being in a mammat using that language? It was great. He was always been one of my heroes. I adore him. He is going through a rough patch as well.

we all know. Yeah. His political stance, but he directed it. He, it was just great. Just being in his language. It was so great. Yeah. Because I remember I read about the play.

And then I called my age and I said, look, you know, you got to put me in on this. It was like Sam Jackson, Denzel. Everybody was being spoken about. Yeah. No one had read it. And they talked to David Mamet. and I came to his, like, office. It was by ourselves.

And I read, I read, like, long, huge mirror monologues. And so I didn't hear anything. And I remember calling my, I said, tell him I'll go back in. They were like, what are you nuts? Kid. You don't go twice. You don't go twice. You did you, bow.

You don't go back on. You know, and I was like, just call him up. Because I was at that point. I'm like, no, I'm not going to fucking lose this. Yeah. And so they said, oh, please. And I called him and he said, would he? So I came back in.

Amazing. I was talking to my head. My whole thing set. And, you know, I was getting a divorce. You know, I'd been on like dancing with the stars. This is what the dudes and Whole Foods were like, man, you know, fell off, man. Oh. What happened to you?

You know, it's like, can you just bag my groceries, please, sir? Literally that happened. Really? Oh, yeah. My ex-wife was like, David, this is what you always do, you know? you ruin all good things around you. I was like, so, I don't care. So, you know.

I'm an artist. Right. I was just fucked up. So I go in there and I'm about to read. And David looks all nervous and he said, you have to park. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics.

Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rBC training ground.ca. And I went, what? Because I knew that I would be nominated for a Tony. I knew that this would change my career. And he said, you know, I wanted to give you the part the first time you read. But my casting director, you're the first actor who ever read for me for this role. And she said, you have to read other people.

And just hearing that. And I remember sitting in my car and I felt totally vindicated. Yeah. And finally, after that, circuitous route, coming back to Broadway and such a great play in part. And then being nominated, it was just awesome. It was like, just hold on. That's what I would say to anyone. Just hold on.

It may take you. you a while to find your lane. I'm sure you have tales when you first started comedy that one guy or girl that was like, they're fucking funny.

You're cool. No, but they're like a shot out of a canon their career. And then you kind of try and find your way. You do, oh, you're doing a special?

Well, actually it's my fourth. I didn't know that. Right. Okay, maybe I'll watch it. You know what I mean? I know, I know. And it takes a while. And sometimes when you find your lane, then boom, boom.

How did you, did it take a while to get to that perspective? Like, did you learn to be at peace with yourself creatively? I will tell you, there was like a time when I was driving down the 405. And it was announced that Martin Lawrence, you know, he and I auditioned for in living color together. Right. It was announced that he was getting $20 million for his next. film and I actually pulled a car over and I was like what what am I doing what the fuck I'm like questioning everything yeah like yeah what in the fuck and um that your path is only your

own path it is only your own path yeah so I'll tell you a story so the night that I won the tony I told you all that stuff and I remember I posted I said you know I just won this Tony I can't can believe it. And I'm a total stranger. He posted, he said, you know, he said, David, we've always loved you. We have always loved you. We've already given you Tonys. We've already given you Oscars. We've already given you every award. So this is just, this is just the world catching up to what we already know. And it hit me on such a level at this point in my life that I was open. You've got to be open for love. And I just appreciated the route that it took.

And I'm so glad that so my first words were like, I've been acting 40 years. Yeah. And I had to change the subject because if I keep talking, I'm going to like break down. But it was such a beautiful thing that people are watching. It's not always the people you think are watching. People you're trying to impress. And this is a hard thing. It's crazy.

It's a hard thing because you're doing this thing for everything outside of yourself. And it's like, how do you build up inside of yourself that you're okay? So after all this, you know, I feel so more secure in myself. I feel like I finally know what I'm doing. You know, there's a lot as a young actor, you're, am I doing this right? Yeah. It's hard. There's no roadmap.

There's no roadmap. Not really. And you also, I think, I think when we all look back at the beginning, it's energy and it's making wrong moves and stuff. But you kind of need it. Yeah, but I was very rigid in terms of what I considered success and the path I was willing to take. And when I talk to students, I call it, you know, walking through a field of diamonds, clutching stones. You know, because we can be so rigid. like stand-up.

I never thought, when I was in Soldier's story, you know, with Denzel, Robert Townsend's, and all those. Robert Townsend was stand-up. Yeah.

And I was like, I would tell him regularly that's, I don't tell dick jokes in bars. I do monologues in my bathroom there. You know, I was like,

I will you perform in saloons? You know, I was like, no, I'll never do that. So we got on a little color. And my agent, I remember I came in,

she said, there are 12, colleges and universities that want to book you. I didn't have an act. And Damon Wands, he goes, I just made like, I think he said, I made $38,000. I was like, the last month? He goes, no, two days ago. And I went,

literally, hey, ho-hoes, two drunks walk in a bar. Literally, I was full. Where are these saloons you talking about? And I started going out on the road. But what it allowed me was freedom. Yeah. He made me freedom to,

pick and choose what else I wanted to do and I didn't have to do like crazy jobs when I knew because of the living color mostly I had a career in stand-up. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's kind of the thing is you're always going to approach things the way you approach things. So whether you're doing Shakespeare or stand-up or network sitcoms,

you have your stamp on it. Like you have your thing. You're never going to all of a sudden be this weird sellout guy that's showing up and doing it. Because for some reason, what I did, Dadson with the Stars, I got stuck reading the comments because they have a whole, like, message board. And so many people were like,

fuck David Allen Greer. He acts like he's too good to be next to, like, who was it? Who used to be married to Charlie Sheen? I can't have like, I forgot one of his ex-wives. Who the fuck does he think he is? You know, he should be honored to do the cha-cha with Kim Johnson. And I was like, I'm doomed. They're never.

They're never going to get me. Well, you're the best. I thank you so much for doing this. I know we have to wrap up. Yeah. There's one last thing that we do on this program. I know you like the finer things. You're making weird cactus peach concoctions.

It's orange. You're going to enjoy my bread. I hope that you enjoy your bread. Do I get to take it? Yeah, I made it for you. I don't feel like you're getting the import. I didn't know. I didn't know.

But I'm going to make a sandwich. That would be nice. Turkey at home. There's nothing like a turkey sandwich. Toast with butter in the morning. You like the finer things, but we do a little taste test on this for the other things that are served as food here in America. And this is a hot and spicy chicken ramen, Maruchin Funnions. Maruchin.

My first girlfriend was named Maroochian. You want me to taste them? Yeah, we're both going to taste them. All right. And give our review of. I am not a funyon guy. Okay. But I come with no prejudice.

All right. Now, do I wait for you to actually taste it? I'm so glad you didn't have, like, hot sauce. I'm like, now we're going to ask you about your sex life. All right. All right. Okay, I could definitely eat these. Hot and spicy chicken ramen.

They're not that hot. They taste like the ramen without the water. They do. But, I mean, they could be a little. Well, hold on. I'm feeling something. Okay. You're a little spice.

Yeah. I like them. I would definitely... You like them? Yeah, I would do that. You would do that. I would not say no. Would you buy them if you're just walking through the supermarket? Yes, but I will tell you, would have to be working on with my life.

Probably a breakup. Yeah. A brutal firing. Probably something like that. Right. Because I'm thinking this is definitely an alcohol-related treat. Yeah. Yeah.

I wish I had booze right now. I'm starting to sweat. And then you start texting, hey you, for June night. I didn't want that job anyway. I didn't burn, darn. It's like, David, did you text what do night? What are you wrong with you? To the director?

Yeah, yeah. We dated 27 years ago. So, you know, yeah, we definitely end up like that appropriate tax. Three in the morning. Yeah. The next day, hey, um. It's David. Did I leave my shoe in the driveway?

You know, that kind of stuff. And as you're leaving that message, you're staring at this bag. Oh, now in my house, that would mean I have two dogs and one of them would have gotten into it. And shit. Right there. My female is different. The male, he's a hound, so he wanders. But the female will take a shit, be closest to the door and look right in your eyes.

Like if she could shit in your lap Because you'd be like Because I love you so much I want to share everything with you It's the best Yeah My male is gonna look in the trees She doesn't want to look at you

So she definitely They would eat the rest of the bag Well that's beautiful Well you know what I'll send these home with you too Wow Yeah that's what we do here Funions and bread Congratulations on the show

Thank you sir Thank you sir