Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 245 - Ronny Chieng

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

Ronny Chieng can't wait to dig into Tom's bread -- but first he has to try Twix... Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We've got Ronnie Chang on the program. He has two very cool things happening in his career right now. Well, probably more, but two that you should know about. One is a Netflix special called Love to Hate It, Out Today. And also, he's a part of Interior Chinatown, which is this really cool show on Hulu right now. Ronnie is the best. I've known him for a long time from New York City. and he's always been very cool, very smooth, very talented.

And he's really, he's one of those guys that you kind of, the first time you meet him, you're like, oh, he's going to, he's going to blow up and be something big and special. And that's exactly what happened. I'm not taking credit for it. But I definitely, I'm sure there are some people that were like, no. And I was like, yeah. And now it's, yeah. His special is really great.

think this might be his third one, maybe for Netflix. But this one he shot in Hawaii. He's got a very, very dense, densely joked special. Is that a way to put it? It doesn't seem like great grammar, but I bet it is. The point is it's really funny. It's got so many jokes in it, and his delivery is so cool. And you know, of course, from The Daily Show.

It's funny when you can be so successful that the Daily Show becomes an afterthought. that's so crazy but we had a really great time and a little controversial when it came to the actual bread and the taste test today I don't want to say too much but just just be prepared for look we normally do one uncomfortable moment I would say there's probably three this time so enjoy this is my conversation with the great Ronnie Chang. It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey!

Don't you know? Hey! It's how we're going. Hey. It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey. Don't you know. Hey.

It's also a show. Hey. Oh, I can't eat bread. You can't eat bread at all? No. Why? It makes me fat. So, thank you, but...

You don't eat bread at all. I try to avoid it, you know. This is, to me, this is... deaf right here. It's sourdough though. It's the best bread you can eat. I know I believe it's good. I miss bread. I want to eat it but if I eat this I'll get fat so but thanks anyway. I don't think we can continue. You got kids to feed this too right?

Yeah I can't bring it home. I'll have a little bit but it's just one it's just me in the hotel I love to try your bread but it's just me in the hotel rooms. I figured it would be like a raccoon situation. But I do appreciate it. I love this set. It's great. Thank you. Love your specials.

I love the... Hold on. Let's make sure we're rolling. I love your specials. I love your appearance in comedian. It was great. I think about that a lot. I watched that documentary once a year.

Will you stop already? Yeah, you're one of the greatest. Love your hat. Oh, my God. Are we recording? Oh, thank God. The hat thing, was the hat thing like a... a choice halfway through your stand-up career,

or did you, right from the get-go, you wore the hat? Well, here's the funny thing about the hat. Thank you for being here. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you. Great to see you. Congratulations on your new special.

Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me. More legend of comedy. I'm here with a legend of comedy. It's really true. The hat thing is never on stage. Oh. It's never...

I didn't notice that... I never wear it on stage. Didn't you wear it in comedian on stage? No. Not even at the seller for a spot. Never for a spot. It's never been on stage. I never wore a hat on stage.

But I wear it all the time because when I first started losing my hair... I'm self-conscious about it. Which I want to talk about it because you... I felt like you were shitting on me in your special, but... We'll talk about it in a bit. I mean, you shone yourself and you're special. Yeah, I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

But when I first started balding and I was in New York, and I couldn't wear like a wool hat because what little hair I had would be all flat and I'd look funny on stage. This is my ego at the time. Right. Would be all flat and funny. But a fedora, like a nice hat, it has space. Yeah. So you can wear the hat without messing up your hair.

Yeah. So in the commute, I would wear that hat. And then I just stayed with it. It was just a practical. Fashion and cold. and also you didn't have to do up your hair. Is that why you wore the hat? Exactly.

Because you rock that hat more than most people were able to in the early 2000. Lots of people tried to rock the fedora. They end up looking like fucking nerds. I love it. You really have to just own it. You just have to be like, this is what I, like. This is what I am now. This is what I am now.

I'm this guy now. But you owned it. But that easier said than doubt. Not everyone can own it. That's one of the things I admire about you. in your comedy was your hat. No, it was a stylish statement. It kind of spoke to this old school classic

tastefulness. It was a tastefulness that I think is also apparent in your comedy. Now let me ask you this. Please. I've never worn it on stage. You know me from New York just from being pals. Would it be weird to wear it on stage? Not necessarily. Not necessarily. James Mad Dog, Madden wears that hat on stage. He makes it work, you know.

I think it's not necessarily weird. I get why, I get your hesitance. You know, I was always told, don't wear a hat because it blocks your face and the light. And, you know, not to mention it looks unprofessional. Look like a, you know, it looks like a man child. But the fedora has different. I think you could pull it off.

Yeah. Especially your style of comedy. You know what I mean? It fits. Yeah. It's not like, it's not like you're wearing that and then you're, yeah, like doing something really obscene or even that would, Maybe the juxtaposition will work, but it fits.

It fits. Yeah. I love this. Yeah. Is that, you having a problem with that? No, no, I'm not having a problem. I'm loving this. You like it?

The production value in this set is, this is what podcasts have become now. I know. We literally built a TV studio. I know. We just build sets out more and more for these fucking podcasts. Yeah, it's like, oh, so the industry is not making TV anymore. So we're going to do it. Yeah.

So crazy. Good for you. Yeah. Much you need. Your special is really great. Oh, you're. You watched it? I watched half of it.

Okay, thank you. Because I just got the screener. Okay. I just got the screener last night. Tell me what you think about the ending. No, for real. For real, the ending. The ending's really good.

Oh, you saw the end? I saw the end with the picture of you and your wife. Oh, you did see that. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Adorable. Thank you.

Thank you. You are stylish. Oh. You always look good. Oh. You. Thank you. Do you think about you have to be.

And here's something cool. This is a compliment back to you with, like, the hat. You pull it off that like I know you're giving thought to it but it seems effortless. Oh, thank you. Very kind. My aesthetic for my comedy specials was always classic American show business. So my first one was L.A., Glendale, but L.A., and then my second one was New York. And then my third one was Hawaii.

Yeah. All these classic American show biz things. And so that's where the wardrobe comes in. And it's just trying to capture that classic American showbiz. Also, by the way, I don't know about you, but I find classic easier to pull off than fashionable. 100%. Being fashionable is so fucking hard. Like, it's easier to just go, okay, I'm just going to dress a classic way because.

Yeah. When I was coming here today and I'm like, running around, I had to go do this TV thing this morning. And it's like, what are you going to wear? I don't know. Just throw a jacket on it. Right. Just throw a jacket on it and you're done. Yeah, the Seinfeld School of Comedy Fashion.

But it works. And also, you know, with specials. I don't know. Did you ever watch specials that you loved and go like, oh, that wardrobe didn't age? That guy. Yes. Some stuff didn't age well. And you're like, oh, that's, you know.

Everything from Def Jam. Yeah. Yeah. Everything from Def Jam is like they were getting, it was like that moment of 80s kind of like crazy stuff. To be fair, sometimes when they dress classic, it still doesn't age because the suits are too baggy or something. So you're screwed no matter what you do.

But I always found sometimes the fashion in it was always a little, the classic stuff always seemed more timeless. Yeah, no, I agree. Richard Jenny did a special rest in peace. And his sweater, he wore just a sweater. And he was weird. He wore a lav mic. Yeah.

You know, which always seems like a TED Talk kind of thing. But his sweater, it was just, it was an inch. too short. So the whole time he had to keep pulling it down during the whole thing, it drove me crazy. Yeah, see, that's a, what do you think that was a, they had a wardrobe person who didn't do that job? Yeah. Yeah. He probably did it himself. He did himself. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny, right? Those things that little. Those little things. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're like, in your special, you're like, oh. Yeah, like, you had a rug. I did. I was those curious about why people put the rugs on the stage.

I like the, because I'm not moving a lot now. I'm pretty much staying at the mic. At this stage of life. Yeah, at this stage of life. I'm really trying not to move ever. Sure, sure, sure. And so I'm staying in that central space, so I wanted it to look good.

And I always like when bands would have that rug. I always loved like that Persian rug kind of feel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That rug thing. I was always curious.

I thought it was a, you're trying to preview. event reflection on the ground or something? No, no, it was just to look pretty. Just a homely kind of feel. Yeah, cool, yeah. Yeah, just be like, yeah. So, but in the special, you talk about, and again, if this isn't me, I apologize, but you talk about how you have this great bit about saving your wife's eggs and that you

don't want to have a baby now because all your friends that have babies look like shit. Yeah. And you don't want to look like shit yet. I don't look like shit yet. And you say that they're aging and they're receding hairlines and stuff. And was I the inspiration for that? Any resemblance is purely coincidental. No, but you share it on people with, you share on your own looks in your special.

And it's funny because we have a similar kind of a line where I say that my wife and I are just husks. Right. We're just brittle husks of what we were before we started. And you had a similar phrasing about your friends. My friends. Yeah. Yeah. So it almost looks like we were doing it in parallel.

But yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think sometimes I haven't seen my friends for a few years. And then they have kids and they come back. I see them. And man, it is noticeable. Yeah.

I'm actually shocked. Like, you know, I'm probably too more blunt than I should be. I'm almost like, man, you look terrible. Like, you really look. You said, like you've visually aged. You're not wrong. It really does kill you. It really does.

What is it? Is it the kids or is that you are going to look like shit anyway? And the kids are coincidences? No. The kids make you look like shit. They make you look like shit. What is it? The sleep.

Lack of sleep for about 15 years. That's horrible. Imagine 15 years of no. Like right now you're, you're, you have a schedule. It's like if you have to get up early for a flight, it's noticeable. Like, wow, I got to get up early. Yes. That's your every day.

Oh, no. Every day getting up too early for a flight. And then. Every day you have a, you have to get up. have a 6 a.m. flight. Every day it was 6 a.m. flight. You're up at 4. You can't set the alarm. You're too worried. It's not business class. No. You're going to be in coach. Yeah. It's going to be brutal. And then when you do wake up, those times that you are awake, which is now longer than any comedian's day ever, it's filled with worry. It's filled with worry about this human being.

The choices they make. Yeah, they're going to run it. It starts up. small, like they're going to run into the coffee table. They're going to knock all their teeth out on the curb. Right, right, right. And then it becomes, they're going to get pregnant. Oh, my God. And then it's, they're stealing from me. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Everyone can't home. And that's why you don't look great. That's why you're not going to keels and getting new moisturizers and snappy outfits. Can anything alleviate that? Can anything at all? Apple. Air tags, can air tags help with some.

Air tags would be pretty good. Yeah, yeah. You, the thing that's good about your strategy is your becoming successful. And that'll give you money. And then you can hire a lot of people to help. Yeah, I re-recond that strategy. Yeah, it's not a bad strategy. The more staff you have.

The more staff to help. Did you get a lot of help? Yeah, we had help. We had like a really close baby. who became kind of like our nanny. Okay. She was a huge help. And then my agent was a huge help because whenever there was...

Agent. Yeah, because whenever there was a lot of aggravation at home, I would call him and then he would send me away. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter. It just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical.

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And then you'd be like, I gotta go. Yeah. You gotta go. I gotta go get the money. Separation does, like, I love my wife. I tour with my wife. You do? Yeah, yeah.

She comes on tour with me now, you know, because no kids, so we get to travel together. So I love spending time with her. But at the same time, I can see how, like, having a weekend. You know, like here, I'm here in L.A. Without my wife. And, you know, we miss each other, but separation is good. And then you get to go back home. She gets a break from you.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But you, I think the difference of me, is that I don't have family in America. So I have to get help. I mean, I can also just do it myself, but I don't have family to. Well, that was us because our family's back in New York.

Right. And we were living in L.A. when they were little for good chunks of it. So you did that comic thing, the classic comedian, New York comic to L.A. move. Yeah, but it was kind of gradual. I said I would never go to L.A. unless they came to get me.

Yes. That was my philosophy. I'll go when they come to get me. They got you? And they came to get me. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I did a set on Conan.

Yeah. And they came after me. Great. And that's when I started coming. And no regrets with the move. No, but we were back and forth. We're still back and forth. Yeah, I know.

We never really let go. Okay. But I don't have an apartment there, and it's been like 10 years without an apartment. Right. So, yeah, I mean, it's, we literally were having this conversation with friends last night. And I was like, man, I think we might be the most boring couple in America. because we've been together 24 years and there has not been one week

that we've been together where we don't talk about should we be in New York or L.A. Literally. So that never went away. Never went away. And now my kids have the disease. Now my kids are like...

So why didn't you ever go back? Because we go back a little bit and, you know, it comes into... Like we would do... Like when I first came out after the Conan thing, we were here for like four years but then we would spend

a couple years back there. there and then the scale's always tipped. We were bicostal for a long time. Yeah, I know this is a completely unrelatable conversation for people, but it's just, the only reason this always comes up is because it's a comic thing. And because you're a senior comic to me. So I always ask guys how they figured this out. And I know this is such a dumb, how do you pick New York at LA?

But it's like a thing. I know. And I really think if you're able to pull it off, it's that you don't pick one or the other. You kind of try and make both. Just try and do both. Just live in New York. Or just live in New York. Yeah, just live in New York.

You love New York? I love it, man. It's a dream. It's a dream. Every day it's a dream, not just the city, but just the comedy of it. Yeah. The comedy of it was like when I was there, you know, you go club to club, all these clubs. You know, they've all changed a little bit since my, my, when I got the impression of the clubs

through comedian, the documentary and Seinfeld and whatever. But so, you know, the clubs that we used to idolize are no longer there or they've changed. Like which ones? Like New York Comedy. Eastville has moved. New York Comedy Club has become a thing unto itself. Stanham, New York is gone. Caroline's is gone.

Yeah. I got the headline there before. Oh, nice. Just out of. So what year did you come to New York? I came to New York, 2015. 2015. Yeah.

I got the headline just before it went closed down. Right. Right. And I was... That was sad when it left. Yeah. When it left, it was... Yeah.

It was a bit of institution, eh? Everyone were headlined there. That was like your... So great. That was almost like the feather in your cap, right? Like, headline Caroline. Yeah. And bring your friends to come and open for you and you do.

So great. And how come it wasn't a dumb Times Square crowd, even though it was in Times Square? Yeah. You know what I mean? I know. It drew a lot of New Yorkers that would just come and... Yeah, I don't know. There's something about it.

Yeah. And that wasn't even the original Carolines. Right. It started down in the... the South Street Seaport. Right. Yeah. And is the Carolines who works at New York Comedy Festival?

The Carolines is named after or is that? Yes. Oh, that's her. Oh, damn. Right, exactly. And Louis Veranda. Lewis was always very nice. They were the greatest.

Because you felt like, like, once they were like brought you in, you're like, I think I'm a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm a New York comedian. Because they've seen it all. Yeah. They've seen everybody.

So when they went like, oh, man, you're doing something good. It's like, yeah, I must be doing something. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So that was. It was really great. So 2015.

And then when did the Daily Show come about? 2015? I moved here for the Daily Show. You moved here for the Daily Show. Yeah, yeah. I was going to come here. Nothing better than coming into town with a gig. Oh my God.

I was going to come here without the Daily Show. And now I laugh at how naive I was. Right. To think of doing that, to come to America with just nothing and just try to figure it out. I don't know if I would have been able to accomplish it. Hats off to all the New York Comics. who make it through that system. It is crazy.

It is crazy. That system is so great. The open mic system is. It really is a test of how badly you want it. Yes. Yeah. You came through it? Yeah.

The open mic, New York open mic. Yeah. And it was, I was talking about this with somebody. And like if you were to put it on paper, like if you had to tell me for one week, you have to live like this with this much money in your pocket. And you don't have a bank account. It's in your pocket. I would just lie down and die.

I'd be like, I can't do that. But when I was living that way, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I was so excited because I was a comedian. Yeah. It was like you didn't think of it as challenging. No, no, you didn't. You didn't, yeah, it was easy to live in your means. You didn't think about it.

Yeah. You didn't think about it. Yeah. Where did you meet your wife? I met her in Australia at law school. She's Vietnamese. She's Australian, but she's ethnically Vietnamese. Right.

So who does the cooking at your house? Unfortunately, well, no, fortunately for me, she does all the cooking. She does. And, I mean, unfortunately for her, I can't cook as well as her, so I can't. So I wish I could make some stuff, but she's killer. Is she? Yeah, she got a recipe in the New York Times. Whoa.

She had a cake that she made a Vietnamese cake. It's called Banbo. And it got featured in the New York Times. Really? Yeah, this is green cake. I think if you guys Google it, it's Hannah. Hannah is a Vietnamese cake and you'll find it.

Wow. Is that what she wants to do? No, no. She just did it. She just mastered. She taught herself how to cook Vietnamese food. I mean, obviously influenced eating Vietnamese food whole life from her mom, but she really taught herself how to do it because she missed it so much.

Right. And then she mastered a few dishes and they're just killer. Oh, that's great. And Vietnamese food is great. I mean, I'm from Southeast Asia, so it's in my, it's in my family of foods, but it's very different to Malaysian food. And I remember I brought Roy Wood Jr. Road dog, Roy Wood Jr.

Yeah. You guys know Roy Wood Jr. Oh, man. He was on the podcast. Yeah, we shared an office at a daily show. One day out of nowhere, he just said, I think I'm done. I've eaten everything. I've eaten everything and I don't need to eat.

I don't need to try new stuff anymore. I'm done. And then because the guy, if you don't know him, he's a. road dog who has eaten every single fast food, you know, terrible place in America. And so I just said like, hey, have you ever eaten Vietnamese food? And he went, no.

And so I'm like, man, how can you say it if you've eaten everything if you haven't tried Vietnamese food? So I forced him to come out and eat Vietnamese food with Hannah and me. And he ate it and he was, and Roy is such an open-minded guy. And he, for being an American, you know, he'll try stuff. And he ate all Vietnamese food.

And he said, hey, you know what? I ate the Vietnamese food. And afterwards I didn't feel like shit. And I'm like, yeah, you're not supposed to feel like shit after you eat food. That's a weird concept in America. I know. In America, everyone here just feels like shit afterwards, eh. Anyway, so Vietnamese food, that light, flavored, you know.

Yeah, I love it. So good. Yeah. Now, just for the record, I had, I baked you this bread. Yeah. I stayed up and worked on it. And I think, Joe, correct me if I'm wrong, but Ronnie might be the first person to say no to the bread. Oh, eat the fucking.

Yeah. You're not. They'll pretend and take it. No, I'll eat. I'll try. I got to try some. It's making me think how many comedians have said yes to the bread and then throw it out in the garage? Oh, yeah.

I hate wasting food, but if you bake this, I definitely want to try a slice. I don't want you to, now why don't you eat bread? I just get fat. It's just my metabolism. I mean, it's an agent. Have you ever been fat? Yeah, I lost like, I've lost 10 kilos twice in my life. That's like two and a two, one kilos, two and a half pounds.

So what, 20 pounds, 25 pounds? Wow. I've lost that twice in my life. So I have to be. Twice in your life. Yeah, I lost it way back and lost it again. Was one of your times because of the Marvel movie? No.

Just getting around those people seems like it would make you lose weight. No, actually on the Marvel movie, I put on weight on the Marvel movie. Yeah, because I was trying to match Simul who was starring in the Marvel movie. I was trying to match his workout. And so I because okay so we were filming the Changchi The Marvel movie and it was during COVID lockdown So production stopped And so you know the Simu he was like going for training

To keep in shape in case production started at any minute So I'm like hey maybe I'll get some free Marvel training here Let me go with you so I literally was like let me let me get some Shout out chief in Australia he let me join in the classes And then um we went the sessions and I went and I could do you know I'm doing like 10% of what he's doing and then and then afterwards he would go eat man the guy can double fist bubble tea which is basically 80% sugar she would eat and so I would just match him and I'm doing a marvel workout I can

eat whatever right and I just put on so much weight for that got so I got so I got so I got so chubby do you see yourself in the movie and think I'm too chubby yeah I look at my I'm like, man, what happened? The pandemic way definitely showed. I mean, I guess my excuse was I was trying to be a different character. Yeah, right. Exactly. It was for the art.

It's for the art. Yeah, it's for the art. I was like, oh, my character isn't fit in this movie. It's a contrast to the superhero. But anyway, did you always want to act? No. No? It just kind of came with the opportunity.

Yeah, I'm lucky that people trusted me with it. I think as comics, they often get you to act as yourself, right? Right. You're just playing a version of yourself. Yeah. So that's, you know, that's nice. How about your new role? The Hulu.

Yeah, the Interior Chinatown role. My daughter gave me that book a year and a half ago. And it's on my end table and I haven't cracked it. Okay. But people love it. Sure. I think as someone who is a writer and storyteller yourself, who has seen a lot of reps in terms of storytelling, I think you'll appreciate the book and the TV show just in terms of it trying to break the traditional story structure narrative.

Yeah. Because isn't it written like a screenplay? Some of it, most of it is, but it's also a meta commentary on the, on narrative, specifically how Asian people are written into TV shows and movies. And you don't have to be, I'm not just saying it to promote it, but I think like if you're a storyteller and writer yourself, you'll really appreciate what they're trying to do in it. Yeah. What Charles She's trying to do in it, you know? Because as comics and storytellers, I think we're always trying to do something original, right? That's almost our curse of our existence.

It's like tropes we almost don't like to write into tropes. Right. Because they're tropes. But then sometimes with stories, you just need a fucking best friend. Right. You know what I mean? But then we're like, how do we subvert this best friend? I don't know, make him a evil person.

I don't know, whatever. Yeah, yeah. So I think this story does a great job subverting it a lot, you know, subverting the tropes. Where did you shoot it? We shot in L.A. Oh, wow. I got to be here for three, four months. Oh, that's great.

LA life for the first time. Yeah, working in L.A. Working in L.A. One unusual thing nowadays. Yeah, no one, yeah, exactly. It's for people filming here. Yeah. And I got to see what all the fuss was about.

Yeah. With living L.A. Yeah. Time passes very quick here, hey. It does. Don't you think? Because you get, you can only do two things a day. It's true.

And then before you know it, it's like a month has gone by and you did like, you know, like 60 things. I know. In New York, it's like, you do like five things before noon. I know. That is like the weird thing about New York too, though, is like you could have nothing going on and feel like you're doing something. Yeah, yeah. Because you're just trying to survive.

You can also meet three people a night. Yeah. So you feel like you're accomplished a lot, right? Whereas here, you're, you know, lucky to meet one person. Then when you meet that person, you have to like triangulate the midpoint so that you both don't have to, you know. So the travel is equal. But then if there's one more person, it becomes, oh, fuck, now you got to. Now there's a third person.

There should be an app to just go like, where is the midpoint for all three of us? Right. Yeah, meet L.A. Yeah, meet L.A. It's so difficult to do stuff. Right? And then after 2 p.m., you're like,

traffic's too bad. So your day really is, if you're lucky, your day, your working hours is 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. If you're lucky. Yeah. If you have no kids, you can work from 10 a.m. to 2. After that, it's a wash. The whole day's, your whole, you know, you're at home.

Right? Yeah, man. You're at home watching interior of Chinatown. You're really making me want to go back to New York. Yeah, 20 minutes everywhere. New York City, 20 minutes everywhere, no parking. Just take the subway. Or you want to meet three people?

Yeah, you can meet three. You can meet them separately. You don't have to all meet at one place. Things are happening. You don't line up, you know, three hours to mail a letter or whatever. I know. If they mail a letter in LA. I know.

It's really insane. It really is insane because I literally think if I have to mail a letter, I'm like, but wait, I have to make two left-hand turns to get there. I'll never, I'll just be stuck out there forever. Yeah, you'll never mail this letter. This letter will never get mail. Whatever you're trying to do. If you leave your house and you don't have like 100% of everything you need.

Yeah. If you miss like a little tool that you need to like adjust your camera. If you miss, if you forgot this stand, this camera stand, your whole, it's over. Yeah, that's true. Your plans are done because you can't even buy this because to get to go, you have to like drive to a mall which may or may not exist anymore. You have to go and pot. You have to buy the pot. And then you can't, it's difficult.

And you're not even talking about the parking and how you're even going to get there. And you're not even talking about the actual work. You're talking about making up for a mistake you made. Right. You know what I mean? To try to catch up to the mistake that you made in the morning. It takes like three hours just to make up for that one mistake. You forgot that one part or that one, you know, tool.

I really feel, and I'm not accusing you, but I really feel like you talked to my wife this morning about things you should tell me about YLA side. Oh, but you've been here long enough. You've been here long enough that you, you know, like you said, you have this battle every day. So you found the, you found the charm, right? Yeah, there is charm. And it is beautiful. And you have lots of space and you get to stretch out and buy more shit and put it in a place that you don't need.

Right. You know, that kind of thing. Do you still feel the classic American show business in L.A.? Or is that? I do, but it is becoming a little less. Nostalgia? It's more nostalgic than actual. Yeah, I don't know.

Like this morning I was at KTLA to promote my special. And that's in the same lot as Netflix. And that feels like, oh, yeah, this is why we're here. I'm like, going to do this TV appearance. And there's the place that did my special right there. That's where I take my meeting to go do that. But the reality is I don't go into Netflix to take my meetings. I do it on Zoom.

Right. And you can do that from Asheville, North Carolina. Yeah, yeah. Like it doesn't. And then you do get a gig. It's very unusual to have what you had. It's like most gigs you get, they're going to send you to Canada or Atlanta.

Right. You never get to film in L.A. So I'm not too sure. What you're doing here. Other than it's a thing. But you've seen so many cycles of this business. How has it been, you know, changing since when you started? There was a lot more you would go,

all these buildings you would run into. You'd be like, I have a meeting at Disney and I have a pitch. I have a pitch over at CBS and then I'm filming at Radford. And then, you know, it was like... You actually would be working in LA. It was like you were a little worker bee. Right. And buzzing into all these hives and meeting people and doing these things.

It was a thing. Right. And now not so much. It doesn't... Since the strike in the pandemic, it is not back to what it was. And I don't know. And everybody keeps trying to figure out if it's going to be. Right.

You know? I'm talking about all the way to the start of when you first started. It wasn't, you know, now we're doing podcasts and whatever, but this, you know, it used to be what, you had to try to try to get some kind of opportunity on some. Someone had to say yes to you. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

And now no one has to say yes. And we can still. You just have to say. Everyone can say no. And you just say, I'm doing it. And they're like, well, no one's giving you a special. Okay. I'll make my own and put it on YouTube.

Yeah. All right. Well, you, I want a TV show. No, no, you can't have a TV show. All right, I'll make my own. So is it, is it good or bad? I think it's good. I just read, it's interesting.

I just read this article about Johnny Carson in the Times. And there is some, there is a quality, there is a benefit to having someone with taste, curate it. And say who's good and who's not. That being said, I think it's much, I think that. shut a lot of people and a lot of voices out that didn't have the opportunity. And the world doesn't work by that person controlling. Like, everybody has their audience now.

You know, like, I know, like, Sebastian has this huge audience that sells out, yeah, that sells out Madison Square Garden. And my audience doesn't know who he is. You know what I mean? No, I wouldn't. Yeah. I get your point. I get your point.

Like Leon Morgan has this huge career going on. And that's her people. And she was able to do it and communicate to them. She would not have, if Johnny Carson or some gatekeeper did not say yes to Leanne Morgan, how crazy that it may not have happened. Yeah. I mean, I always feel stand up is a bit of a bad example for that. Because the more I do stand up, the more I feel like it should be outside the mainstream anyway.

So I don't know if you have this feeling with standup comedy where it's better that I used to want like the industry to, acknowledge whatever I was achieving in stand-up in terms of ticket sales or I sold this venue, I did this special. But now the more I do it, the more I feel like, I'm actually glad they don't know that I just sold Radio City because it becomes like, it keeps it subversive, in my opinion. It's your own. And they can't affect it. And I can sell stuff here. And that's not going to stop them from hiring me on the Disney movie because they don't know what I just said there. And then it's separate, you know. So I don't know if you agree with that in terms of. Yeah. No, it is. I mean, it's a refuge. To be able to just have your own thing and do your own thing, it's such a blessing.

Right. So in that sense, it's a bad example for... And the other reason is a bad example, I think, is that comedy, you really... The reason Leanne has a great career, the reason you sell out Radio City is because you're communicating with the public and they're saying we like it and that's all, that's it. Yeah. And if you're not great, that's not going to happen. Yeah. And by the way, they only say they like it in that moment. And that moment might not happen next week. Right, right, right.

It might be just for that night they liked you. Yeah. Which is, you know, and it comes and it goes. I mean, it is kind of a cool thing. Like, what you're explaining ultimately is that we, it's nice to know that if everything else goes wrong, you always have this little secret career. It's a secret. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? I mean, you're huge. No, no. But it's also like, yeah, you have your own thing that's always going and you're always get, you can always get better at it. Yes. If you love it, you can always work on that craft of it. Yes.

It is this amazing little refuge that really doesn't have to involve itself with the annoying parts of show business. Yeah. And I say that without bravado, the more I do it, the more I actually appreciate being this secret little thing. And I actually do still feel like it's a secret thing that like when people know me from stand-up. I am genuinely shocked when someone's like, oh, hey, their stand-up is great. I'm like, wait, you saw it? Where did you see it?

I'm truly just, I cannot believe that anyone will watch this, me doing this in any live or on video or, you know, like if you said you saw me on a daily show, to me that makes more sense. Yeah. Than you saying you saw me on doing stand-up. Right. I'm like, oh, you know, even though we have, you know, these things. Yeah, these big platforms and stuff. Your style is, you're really kind of maturing in this very cool way. Oh, thank you. In this, this story that you tell about fertility with you and your wife, it was, I was

driving, I was listening to it in the car because I could just put it on my preview and then as I was driving, I could listen to it, which is such a great way to kind of digest. But anyway, you have this great, you've hit this great stride of telling pretty lengthy stories, but they're packed with jokes. There's not like without a lot, there's no, line even with that's not funny they like they really are you've gotten this very it's it's weird because you kind of it's storytellers you kind of even forget that you're still telling this story because you're so packed with oh i appreciate jokes it's really well done thank you so much yeah i always my downside i feel is that i'm always too long winded so i can't cut it down for fucking ticot

because it's a goddamn 20 minute thing i'm always like i don't know how to put this into you know a minute Oh, you totally could in this one. Oh, okay. Well, good. No, no, I appreciate it. Yeah, like you have, it's just jokes. Yeah, but I, yeah, I always was drawn to that style. I don't know.

I just, maybe because I came up in Australia, that's the, that's the style of UK and Australia. It's just like long-winded, self-indulgent, you know, stories. So, I don't know, we just, that's just what, you know, in fact, I always admired the comics that could do the New York short sets that were just, you know, bam-bang-bam, like jokes per minute, you know, short jokes. And, you know, so I always thought like, ah, all I can do are these dumb, long-winded, you know. Yeah, but I mean, it's my taste too, but I really like it because it goes a little deeper.

Sure. You also have a little bit more of a, like, for a longer set, I think that that style is, you can hang for longer. Sure, yeah. You know what I mean? Obviously, if you can master both short sets and long sets, then you can be great, you know, if you can do both. So, that's what I'm trying to. That's what's great about New York. You can work on the short.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Can I drink this? Actually, was this drinkable? Rache, can you grab that iPad over there? Can I drink?

Yeah, that's all yours. This is the wine bottle from Inglorious Bassers. Yeah. Why did I do this? I think it was just that company. I don't know why. I think because wine should be in a basket. Yeah.

Wines better in a basket. Do you drink? I, yeah. Yeah. Not like white people. How great was when we went for a cigar at Soho's cigar part? Because it was just one night that you and I met and went for a cigar. I know.

And I cherish that moment and want to recreate that moment every time I come to New York. Every time you mess with me, I feel horrible because I'm not in town. in town. I know. I'm so sorry. We haven't synced it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, one time, actually, you said no, because you had a family thing, which made me think you had kids.

Oh, no, no, no. Sometimes if I'm in town with my wife and I'm like, hey, can I go cigars? And she's like, no, not tonight. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, which is weird because if you're smoking cigars, you should be able to tell your wife, I'm going for a cigar. No, no, no. I respect to. No, I'm only kidding.

But it was such a nice, we had such a great night that night. And I feel like we have to replicate it. Yeah. So, and I hope this doesn't take away from it, but this is the uncomfortable moment. Oh, we're going to replicate right now. You are a, you're very talented, and you have a reputation of being very buttoned down and responsible human being. You give off a vibe of somebody who's got his act together. Okay.

And you always look great on stage. Can I just say this is also in comparison to stand-up comics, who are a goddamn mess. So compared to those guys, I'm like the most bundled up dude apparently. It really is true. People ever say that to me. I'm like, compared to what? But then we got a, it looks like it's a photo from you backstage during your special. Oh.

And I guess there's no other way to say it. You seem to be a bit of a slob. This was AI. This looks like AI. I don't think it's AI. I think it's AI. No. No, because I can tell with the edges.

First of all, I don't wear cargo pants. So that's a big giveaway. That's why I was surprised. I told you it was going to be uncomfortable. Yeah, also, I don't have that much hair on my arms. On my stomach for that matter. You just have nachos on your chest. And it seems like you're playing a video game, which doesn't seem like you.

Also, I would never have, I would never pick this sofa. This sofa cushioning is a little, yeah, it's a little drab. So do you have a side? So do you have a slobby part of you that just wants to stop being the great Ronnie? Yeah, my wife will tell you my office is a mess. So it's stuff everywhere. Yeah, it's been a 30-year battle to clean my room. And it just never, I've never won it.

I've moved countries three times and my room is always, it's always just messy. So I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Is this your favorite country to live in? Yeah. Hands down? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been trying to come back here for 30 years. Right. I tried to come back here since I've been trying to come back since 93. And I finally came back in, sorry, 20 years. I finally came back in 2015. So, yeah, that's.

What do you mean come back? Why, 93? Oh, I was in Manchester, New Hampshire for four years from 1989 to 1993. Right. And we left. And when we left New Hampshire, my parents said that we were just going on vacation and we fucking never came back they knew we want coming back really yeah they knew they just lied they just lied and we went back

to Malaysia yeah yeah and so for like 22 years I was like I need to get back uh and uh and finally got back 2015 that's amazing yeah to me 22 years ago uh now as an American who's never been yeah to Southeast Asia yeah we spoke when I hear yeah when I hear Malaysia I think I could probably live there You couldn't live there You can't live there You can't live there Why?

First of all You can't wear a jacket That's too hot Really? Yeah so that's My fedora is no good Fodora would work It would work

In the Cuban style You know that cute Yeah That hot weather Yeah But also Let's just say Comedy

Not so Not so Not as much Carve out a life For me Make it work in Malaysia Make it work for you Malaysia

How would I have to How would I do it I mean I don't need to work. Okay, you don't need to work. Yeah. Okay, good. So you would need to, do you want, you want intensely dense city or you want kind of more relaxed?

I'll take a little more relaxed. More relaxed? Yeah, you probably need to go to, you probably. Well, will the people like me? Like, if I'm dense, would people be like, oh, we like Tom or would they be like, oh, yeah. Seems like relaxed. Okay.

Secret message received. People would like you, but there's a lot of failed. there's a lot of failed white people who go to Malaysia and they use their social capital due to their language ability to make people think that they are better people than they are both in terms of competency and character. Conmen. There's lots of conmen in Malaysia. So you don't want to fall into that group.

Okay, right. Yeah, just by association. Just by association. If you just go there and you're like, hey, I'm Tom Pop. Right. They don't need time to know. Once they know you, they know your real thing.

It would take a while, though. It's as Desbishop says, like, the good guys can tell the scumbags from the professionals. Right. All right. So we're going to go laid back. Lay back. Giving out of the city. Yeah.

So what you need for you to live would be you need, like, a nice place in Penang, I would say. That's a nice island. Great food on that island, great Malaysian food. And then you would need a high-speed internet connection. And then you'd be pretty much set because then you would have all your creature comforts and you wouldn't need to, you know, pretty much like worry about the rest of the country or the world. What's my place like?

You would probably, you would have a very tasteful colonial shophouse. Shop house? Yeah. So it'll be the traditional, if anyone Googles Pinang Shop House, you'll see like the bottom will be a shop, which you might convert into your house, but you might just rent it out. And then on top is where you live. Okay. It's a very colonial, a British colonial thing.

But in recent years, it's become very hipster because no one does it anymore. So you would probably make it look at like a really, you like make it all, you know. Yeah, a little more hip, like a little like I know I'm, I know this is colonial, but I have posters up that say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

You have Jimmy Hendricks on the thing or something on the wall. Maybe I put a bakery in the shop down below. Yeah. do this you could actually this is there will be a demand for this oh yeah yeah yeah for real yeah they they have good bakeries in malaysia but uh this made by a white person that would be pretty amazing that would be pretty good you you go that people would think that you invented bread if you make it like this is the guy who invented salad bread they're like he calls it white bread you know how yeah you know sourdough yeah this is the guy he's mr he's mr dough so who who

All right, so I'm living in there and I have my little bakery. And then who are the, who are my friends? Oof. Who do I want to, who do I hang with? You will unfortunately hang out with the American expats. But you actually don't want to do that. Yeah, I don't want to do that. But you will.

I will. But you don't want to. You don't want to. You need local friends. I know. That's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Because like I said, a lot of them.

Do they speak English there? Yes. You can get by English. Yes. I can. Yes. So I can make some real friends. Yeah.

You can make real friends. Yeah. And people like you. And then eventually you'll get the bug and you'll go check out the open mic scene and do comedy there. And then you'll build a cult following because anyone,

any, any fucking like semi-professional Western comedian who moves to Malaysia builds a cult following, again based on the, on the social capital of vocabulary. Right. And just being confident. Yeah, just being confident.

And then all you would have to do is like say local words. Right. like once or twice and people be like, oh my God, it's the best comedy ever seen. You just have to say something in Malay and something in Chinese. Right. And, you know, just so you know, so Malaysia is very multicultural. So we have like Indian people, Chinese people and Malay people.

And everyone can kind of speak English. And Malay people also speak Bahasa. Well, everyone speaks Bahasa Malayu. And Chinese people speak Chinese and they have different dialects. And Indian people will speak, you know, Tamil, Hindi. So there's a lot of languages going on. So what's the biggest difference? And I'm asking it's just because I don't want to offend anyone at the bank shop when they come in.

What's the biggest different? How do I tell Chinese people from Malaysian people? Oh, it'll be pretty obvious. Yeah. Yeah. Skin tone. It'll be pretty obvious. Skin tone?

Yeah. I'm kind of like a dark Chinese, but like Malay people will be a little bit darker than me. You can tell, by the way, they dress as well. We dress a little bit differently and then language-wise. Who dresses nicer? Oof. Everyone dresses fine in Malaysia, but it's very distinct, you can tell. Yeah.

Yeah, you can tell the Chinese people from the Malay people from the Indian people. I think also Malaysia is a majority Muslim country. So they tend to, the Malay people are mostly Muslim people. And so they'll tend to cover up a bit more. Right. With sleeves. And so you can tell by the sleeve length as well. But the language is the giveaway.

But actually, the giveaway is the face. The face. Yeah. Just like you, I guess you could tell the difference between like a British person and a Portuguese person. Yeah, that's right, the same for, in Malaysia, between Malay people and China's people. Right, okay. All right, good. And then who is the better music?

Oh, damn, you were trying to get me in trouble here, man. I'm not saying a favorite, but like empirically. No, they both have great music tradition. I can't pick which ones. Yeah, no, they're both good, yeah. They both good. They both have, like, Malay people. People have a history of their own ethnic music.

And then they move into rock. And Chinese people have their own, like, the Chinese, like music industry to draw from outside of Malaysia. So we're connected to that as well. You know, like Taiwan, Hong Kong, China. We draw from, like, our artists, we draw from that too, our music. Cool. So, yeah.

Are there big stars that want to be your friend now? I don't know. I think so. I think sometimes I'll talk about Malaysia on the day. daily show just as like a throwaway joke or like a punchline and then suddenly everyone Malaysia is like oh he says something about Malaysia right yeah yeah they'll reach out and they're usually very cool yeah yeah how's life at the daily show now oh it's great um because it's like a new after really trying to figure out how this was all going to work it seems like it's settled now yeah i think it's settled i think it uh definitely makes for uh easier uh sustainability because

I can't believe John Stewart and Trevor Noah did that for years. You know, to me, I host three days a week every month or, you know, every five weeks or whatever. And I'm like, this is crazy. It's an intense amount of work. It's an intense amount of work. Yeah. And to do that, for them to have done that every day for years, I can only imagine. Yeah.

It's a grind. So this definitely keeps everyone fresh. and I think we're all kind of learning You know how it is Unfortunately it's one of those skill sets Where you kind of have to You need to do it to get better Yeah

Right And the margin for failure is so low Because you're live Right Right You can't train secretly And then come and be You have to fail publicly

So I think like In that sense We're all getting better with it John is great too And you know John You probably know him Since back in the days of the seller Right?

Yeah he was before me Oh he was before you Yeah So he's very down to earth And I think he, I don't want to speak for him, but I do sense that he is very reinvigorated by this schedule. It lets him say what he wants to say and not be dragged down. Right, right.

In terms of energy. And we like to call it like he covers the climate and then we cover the weather, which is great because if we just cover the climate, we're not addressing the day-to-day news that only we're. we can address because we're the show that's on you know focusing on political satire on every day so was everybody kind of bummed out that comedically comedically you are now chained to four more years of joking about the same guy people bummed out I think we had other we have bigger issues uh no one was thinking about that oh yeah we did make a joke about that we said like I think I said like um uh the

that like when I came out of the jungles of Malaysia to do comedy I never thought I'd be joking about one person for fucking 12 years yeah 12 years of one person like I don't talk about any I have never talked about anyone as much as I talk about this dude is it yeah it's exhausting it is exhausting I mean again I like to talk see your perspective on this like this wasn't the case in the 80s or no I mean clearly the bushes for a while, you know, but it wasn't this. It wasn't, they weren't such a big, you know, black hole of a personality that sucked everybody in its orbit into it. Yeah. This is very unique and it's crazy that it's eating up all of our adulthood. Isn't that awful? It's really terrible.

It's awful. I mean, the one thing Americans really seem to thrive on is change, shake it up, do something different, revolt, like, you know? Yes. since the started. And that this has just been a constant. Oh. Even like before he got into politics.

Like when my kids watch old movies, you know, like Home Alone 2 and there he is. And it's like, holy shit. He's been around forever. So your kids, this is kind of all they know. Mm-hmm. Right? So are they political? Are your kids political?

They are a little bit. And they're two girls who both saw an opportunity to be the ones to push the first female over the line. Yeah. Oh, so they did feel like. And they both got destroyed by the same guy. Yeah, that's their next. Oh, so they even remember the. My first one, her first vote was for Hillary.

Oh. And that was a horrible night. Yeah. And then the second one, it was Harris and same guy. Right. Stombed on their dreams. It's really, it's really rough. And especially when it's a guy that's, you know, has a lot of reasons for a young girl

to be like, not that guy. Yeah. So I guess your kids grew up really quickly in a way, right? Well, it's still happening, right? Like, it's still like a, I'm like, yeah, you got to kind of pump it up and keep it going. Man, but so in your memory, I guess that's what I always try to get out of guys who've been here longer than me. It's like, so this is truly unprecedented. Yeah.

Yeah. No, this is totally unusual. Okay. Completely unusual. No, I think it is, but then you know how it is. You always tend to exaggerate your circumstance versus other people. But I'm just trying to see whether. Well, for you, that's probably an advantage to you having the role on the daily show is it gives you a little bit of a different perspective than someone who came through every year here.

I mean, there's probably benefits to both, but do you feel that way? What do you mean? Just being born somewhere else, having a different. perspective and coming in. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to exaggerate as though it's some, you know, super enlightened view, but I think there is definitely something to be said about knowing how other countries work intimately and being in America. So at least there's something to compare it to.

Yeah. And also on the daily show, the other thing that makes it kind of messed up, I guess, is that for us, I mean, for me anyway, it kind of becomes like your emergency room. doctor and so you kind of get desensitized a little bit right my opinion yeah also I feel like to do that job you kind of have to be desensitized yeah yeah absolutely you can't be like overreacting to every little thing you can't have to be like okay we're doing satire here look you don't mess up this is and you know that kind of yeah right exactly you can't be like the people at home watching like oh my god what's happening I know and I think that's something that changed over the

since in the last eight years, sorry, from 2012 to 2018, I think we're at peak outrage evisceration culture, where we would like put your emotions on the screen and be like, this is how I really feel. And I feel like we almost didn't realize that that is what you would do on very special occasions. That's not something you do every day.

for years. For years. Because it kind of loses its luster. Like I think based on, you know, watching John Stewart archives, I'm like, he would pull that out occasionally. And it would be when something huge happened and it would be the most impactful. And I think other people saw that and felt like that's how you're supposed to be all the time because that's what people respond to.

But they didn't realize like, no, we earned that. We had a baseline level of that. Yeah. So that you know that when we're like guys. this is bad? You believe that. Yeah, this deserves like the rage. Now, I know that you're not an expert on this really, but you're the closest person in my life that has this perspective.

You were in a Marvel movie, so you have a kind of keen sense of good versus evil. Do you think that Elon Musk is turning into a real supervillain? I think he definitely, it seems like he fell for his own algorithm. you know he's someone and I think he is brilliant

and I think he's trying to make himself the main character of the internet I think he bought his way into being the main character and I think that for all his

good ideas that he might have I think there's also this thing that you have to balance with which is that no matter what happens in America he'll be okay you know

So before you kind of take his word as gospel, you probably should realize like if America literally implodes, that dude has a bunker in New Zealand or Switzerland or something. Like, he's fine. This is all play money to him. Right. This is all house money. That's terrifying. This is all house money. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So that's that. You know, right. So that's probably what I would, you know. And you can definitely see a little bit of a like bizarre decline, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's very strange.

It's very strange. Because I was all in. I have one of the first Teslas. Right. I couldn't believe the ground he was breaking. Right. It was just, I was like, this guy is making stuff happen. Yeah.

And now it's like, I keep finding. It's kind of like having a good friend that no one else likes. Yeah. You know, and you're like, it's just Dan. He's great. Dude, he ruins every party. You ever talk to that, dude? Right.

He's losing it. Like, why are you tweeting? Right. You know what I mean? Like you're not only the richest do in the planet, you are supposedly brilliant and you're in the middle of trying to do, you know, whatever it is, like solve the climate crisis

by trying to electrify cars. You're trying to, you know, like help human kind achieve space travel by making it feasible. And now you're trying to like fix the US government. How are you tweeting? That's not what someone who's brilliant would be doing. You have time to tweet. Right.

I do none of the things. that I don't have time to tweet. Right. I know. You know, like, how do you have time to beyond that and like,

you're like trolling and, you know, I don't know. That, to me, that doesn't sound like an enlightened person, but.

No. No. I know. I'm starting to think maybe I should look into those other cars. Oh, the other.

Yeah. I hear the, is that one that sounds. The lucid? No, there's one that starts with R. Rivian. Rivian.

Rivian. Is it cool? Rivian, yeah. That's a pretty cool one. Yeah. Yeah, that's not that great. We do another thing on this program, and I know you're not going to do it, but I'm going to present it anyway, just to see what your reaction will be.

Oh, no. We also do, not only do we make beautiful artisanal breads for our guests, we also do taste tests of shit that we find in 7-Eleven. Okay. I used the ESM-E-E-Eleven. You did? I did, yeah. All right. Well, today we have...

Oh, no. I know you're not going to. I can't eat that. This is called a Twix cookie dough. It's a Twix bar that is cookie dough flavor. This is what is great about America. Truthfully, you can't find this outside of America. No other country will allow this to happen to their citizens.

And this used to be the thing, like I would remember stuff like this. Not that we had cookie dough twigs, but like the, fast food that we have, you know, they used to have like, remember those soft bake cookies? Yeah. They're like, they're made soft. And I can never get them outside America. And I remember eating those when I was a kid. And I could, I look for 20 years to find them again.

I could only buy them in America. And this is, this is the kind of stuff that makes me think America. Yeah. How did you not get, not get seduced by all of this? Oh, I just stopped eating sugar. And then. Just because you were going to be in the movies and didn't want to be fat. I just didn't want to be fat, yeah.

And I, and I, no one told me when I left college that you have to stop eating like a kid. It's really true. No one tells you that. So you just keep eating the same way you ate in college. Like for me, I ate like that all the way up to my late 20s.

Yeah. And I got to say, I'm hearing it for the first time right now. Yeah. No one ever pulls you aside and be like, hey, listen, you're not 18 anymore. You can't eat like that.

Yeah, you have to stop now. Yeah, you have to starve now. You have to starve now. But it's hard because you built up your whole life of enjoying those things and being like told that's a treat. Yeah. But Wilson Vince, the great Wilson Vince. Yeah. Yeah, he cut sugar of his life.

I know. And he was the one who told me, he said like, you have to start looking at these things as poison, not tweet. Right. And I was like, you're right. And so I just stop eating this. I eat bananas now. I bring my own water. I eat bananas.

I try to do my part. But, okay, if this is a out of respect. for you if you want me to try like a bit of it I do okay man I cannot let's can I share this with you you just take a bite

okay cheers this by the way I I'm not eating this not because I hate it it's because I love it too much that's why that's why I had to stop eating this

I understand I don't have that ability oh that's good love cookie though love twigs I haven't had twigs in my 10 years so watch me relapse right now. I know.

I kind of feel like the devil right now. You got bread and twigs in front of me. No, I'm going to start pouring wine. Yeah, I'm going to start pouring wine. It doesn't taste like cookie dough to me. Oh, no, man. It tastes like pure sugar.

I don't know. I got to say, your face is changing. I know. I've never, you haven't been this happy since you started down. I know. I miss this. I miss being able to eat this. I feel so bad.

He's like giving a smoke or a cigarette. We're going to find him with the 7-Eleven across the street. Coming out. Watch me relapse. Scurring into your car. I'm okay. Yeah, I can't. Well, thank you for doing that.

That was a nice gesture. No, out of respect to the great Tom Papa, one of my comedy heroes, I can't turn it down. I'm sorry for not finishing it. No, it's okay. You know what? Pass it over so you don't have to be tempted. Yeah, thank you. It's okay.

Anytime a guest does not finish this, this point. portion of the show. My editor gets very excited. Why? Because he gets to eat it. Who else? Who else would eat that? I think, well, I have to say, I think most people took the bread because it's so good.

I believe it. Can I have a slice now? Sure. I'll cut a slice for you. Most people, yeah, eat the bread. The, you know, the shitty snacks. People have different reactions. I think it comes down to how much of a garbage person you are.

This, you made this last night. This is good. Yeah, this is... It looks like a professional. Yeah. Yeah, look at that cut. Whoa, look at that. What do you call that?

Foaming. Can I have the end? You want the end? Yeah, of course. Thank you. You're welcome. I haven't had sourdough in 10 years either. Yeah, that looks pretty good.

I remember this I remember this This is good This is a real Bread's been around for thousands of years Yum Yeah Jesus ate it

So what do you do Is there like a Use special flour on this Mm-hmm Yeah By what? I get special flour From central milling flour

Yeah They mill it Without any other additives No there's nothing in it And the thing about this bread It's just flour, water salt and yeast Amazing.

So there's no additives, there's no sugar, and it's fermentation, it actually breaks down its own sugars. This, you could definitely sell in Malaysia. Yeah? 1,000%. I can't wait. Yeah, you want to go to Malaysia? I do. I want to try it.

Just for a year, get one of those shop. What do you call it? Shop houses, yeah. Shop house. You can do a show there. They have gigs there. They do? Yeah.

I don't know if I'm going to be in the mood. How about it? You go? You do the show as a tax deduction. Mm-hmm. But really you're there to see the country and hang out. How much do you think a shophouse costs? Is it cheaper to live there?

I almost, I was looking at one during the pandemic, so I actually know it's about, it's actually like a New York studio apartment. Oh, it's not that cheap. It's not that cheap. Oh, wow. I was surprised. I was like, oh, damn. Oh, really?

Yeah. They're like heritage listed. Yeah, red one, yeah. Yeah. Well, that'll be good. I'm really concerned about the expats wanting to hang out with me. Yeah. That's a problem.

Yeah, I don't want to seem like one of them. Yeah, just keep them at my arms like. Yeah. Keep them out of arms like. They'll try to draw you in. They'll try to draw you in with their parties and their activities. Right, exactly. I'm going to be like, no, man.

But hey, come over and watch football. Come over and watch baseball. Something, some American. Yeah. Hey, we're having Thanksgiving. Hey, we have Twix cookie dough. I got my, yeah, my kid just came back from America. You brought a whole bunch.

Come over, have some Twix. That's how they get you. You got to be like, nope, no, I'm eating low. I'm meeting locals. Well, thanks for doing this. Your special's so good. No, thank you so much. Your special is great too.

Love hang out with you. That's always being so cool to me. Ever since I first came to America, it was great. I was a new kid in town, and everyone was always very nice to me in New York. So I appreciate it. Yeah. Well, it's because you're talented.

I don't know about that. If you weren't, you know, you could be a nice guy, but not that talented. People would have been like, yeah, he's fun, but I'm not going to really reach out. I'm not going to have a cigar with him. Thank you. I appreciate it.

respect more than mutual. And are you going to be touring now? Are you going to take some... How are you playing that end of it? So I'm wrapping up my tour in December. I was supposed to tour till January, but Netflix offered me the December slot. Okay.

So I had to cancel my January shows. You know, like comedy's like the reverse of music. I know. It's like you tour, put out the album, and then you start. I know. Which is the reverse for music. But, you know, it's okay.

I'm still going. And I show them a couple jokes from the special, but I figure it'll just make me, I don't know, tell other jokes. Yeah, yeah, no, that's... I don't know. I cut out, I cut out, yeah, you're just going to cut all this out because I have food in my mouth.

But, like, I cut out... It's actually our favorite part. I cut out, like, 15 minutes from my special, so I got... Oh. 15, 15. I feel like I got 30. That's great. That's never been aired.

I got toured with it, though. A friend of mine, told me Mr. Jerry Seinfeld. Not Seinfel. It was actually Gaffing him. Yeah. I told me that

a half hour is kind of like the good spot. Yeah. Because you have your half hour. Then you may be a little crowdwork. And then take stuff from the second half of the special that nobody watches.

Oh, shit. And I got to say, I did it last weekend. And I was like, it felt different than doing stuff from earlier in the special. It was like, No, just doing those, it was like you could feel it was kind of new.

Wow. That's a great trick. Isn't that a great trick? Didn't it used to be, you remember this, it used to be 45 minutes. I know. It was the headline spot. Yeah. And that was also coincidentally the amount of time on a vinyl that you could shove.

45 minutes. And I think 45 minutes is perfect. I know, but if people come out and they put their pants on and they come to the theater. You think? I even feel like, I even feel like an hour and a half show is. like, every time I get backstage, I'm like, was that enough? These people parked, they got a babysitter, they went out to dinner, they waited for months. I think hour and a half is good.

But it is, I guess. But 45, hour and a half is like, like, that's you. Do you still have openers? So the show becomes hour and a half. Right. Dude, don't get me wrong. Like, I'm, my goal was still right 45 this time. It became an hour of 15.

So I had to cut stuff. You know what I mean? So I'm, I'm doing more than 45. But I'm just saying I think 45 is like still this. It is a sweet spot. I mean, yeah. It definitely, there's no, that old adage of leave them wanting more. It really is true.

Totally. It's like to get to that. You never want to be like, okay, when's he wrapping it up? Totally. Yeah. You know, I just saw your episode here with Anthony Jesselnik. Oh, yeah. It was great.

Oh, that's good. I mean, it wasn't here. It was here. Oh, I didn't see a table. But all right. Yeah. Did we cut the table out? No, he was here.

I have to say, though, he didn't eat the bread on the podcast. He took it back. Oh. You just hit yourself with the bread. You really hate this bread. Do you think that you did better than Anthony on the podcast? No, he was great. Dude, I loved his insight on cancer culture.

Yeah. It was the most perfect explanation. He's very articulate about it. Yeah. on why it's dumb, as in why even talking about it's dumb, and what the goal of comic should be. And he's the guy who you would think would be on the other side of it. Yeah, but he's not because he's a smart dude who's a great comic.

I know, I know. And he's, yeah, and he's, he's ballsy. Like he doesn't care if you don't like what he's saying. This is what he really believes. Yes, but yet he's not on the edge lord side of. Mm-mm. He's a very, he's a comic. Yeah, right.

I know that's what I took away from it too It's like it's kind of similar to what you were saying of like The comedy should be its own thing It's like no you should be an independent thinker And we should all kind of like that about each other And not starting tribes within comedy It always seems like such a drag That being said I am starting my own tribe and comedy

And I'd like you to be the first member I love if it has bread like this I'm down for this tribe I know yeah You're gonna be a little fatter but happier. Yeah. I feel like fat works with comedy. Yeah.

That's why I'm worried about Jim. He's losing all this weight. I don't know what's going to do to his career. Yeah. Yeah, do you know, I got asking why he was just a health thing? I guess so. Good for him. He posted a thing on some like he had a scotch and a cigar, like on some magazine.

I'm like, wait, are we sexy now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's okay to like lose a little. weight, then lose a lot of weight, and then become hot? I don't know. He's in his hot era. Yeah, he's a good.

Yeah, good for you. 50-year-old hot era. Well, thanks again, and more power to you. Thank you. Thank you, Tom. It's so great to see how successful and it's fun, and it's really, it really makes me very happy. Thank you.

I'm just trying my best. Thanks for having me. You're the best.