Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 246 - Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Ari Shaffir gets shirtless in the studio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ari Shafir. on the program. Very funny, very talented, very edgy. He's got two specials coming out. The first one is coming out as of the recording of this today. Holy Toledo. That's not what's called. It would be a good one. I bet someone has a Holy Toledo stand-up special. It should be yours. It's not. It could be mine. Maybe the next one. His is called America's Sweetheart. He does this really great job of putting a positive spin on some of the most horrible things that happened. in the world and it's very refreshing really well done and then he has this deal with netflix and it's going to be on netflix and then he has a deal where they're taking his other special jew that he

recorded a while ago a couple of years ago and has killed it already on youtube over six million views so well done and Netflix in addition to america's sweetheart also pick that one up that's going to come out in like April or May. Really, really conscientious on both sides. You know, Ari has, he's one of those guys that creates controversy at times out in the world. And you'll find from this conversation, I think, if you don't already know Ari. If you do, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, there are, you got to consider the source is really my thing. And he is a kind person, a thoughtful person who likes to, you know, push the envelope on things, but it doesn't come from a place of spite or malice. He's just a funny,

thoughtful guy. Does he get it wrong sometimes and say things that will make certain people cringe? Sure. Not on this program, though. He actually, I think he said shit and thought that it was, he had crossed the line. He got nervous. Maybe we should bleep that out, even my saying it, because, you know, I was voted, not voted. What do you say when someone just writes an article and says you have the best clean stand-up special? It was a category, but there was only one guy voting. Jason Zineman from the New York Times. Selected, selected by one of our most esteemed critics in America.

He decided that I have the, of this year of 2024, the best. clean stand-up special. And who's to argue with that? Yeah. And I think I just, I guess I give off that vibe, even when I'm not trying to be clean or, you know what I mean? Like, Ari was, when I was on his podcast, he didn't want to use, he didn't want to curse on his own podcast.

I don't know. It's hard to tell what you are to yourself. But apparently, I'm a guy that makes people not want to swear. Good thing. It is a good thing. wearing so hack now. Think about the opposite winner. If I made me a good point.

Really good point. When this comes out, my tour, my Grateful Bread Tour is for sale everywhere. We're going to Chicago. We're going to New York, San Francisco, and everywhere in between. Go to Tompapa.com and look up the Grateful Bread Tour and come see me live. And we'll, as I always say, we'll share some laughs and maybe even kiss on the lips. But for now, enjoy my conversation. It's a really a good one with the great Ari Shafir.

It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey. Don't you know? Hey. It's our dough. Hey. It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey.

Don't you know. Hey. It's also a show. Hey. I did Town Hall. It's a town hall. You've been there with Jerry? I did.

Yeah. Beacon. Yeah. I did. I did Jerry once and I did Greg Gerardo's fundraiser right after he passed.

I put together that show for his family. Oh, wow. And then another time I was there supposed to be working with Jerry and Steve Martin bumped me. Damn. Bumped you off?

We've been enemies ever since. You're in Steve Martin or are you in Seinfeld? Steve Martin. I thought you didn't stand up anymore. Him? I guess just, it was weird. He was kind of,

he was backstage with his notes. And, uh, he kept going, is this funny? What? Is, is this funny?

And you're like, I can't say no. Yeah, whatever, you're not getting an honest response. Right. But they weren't. You know what I mean?

So it was like, and he was supposed to do like 10 and, had he not been, He did like four years? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you did not know yet if you were being bumped? He was just saying, is this funny?

You're like, why do you care right now? I think they told me, no, they told me, well, the, one of the, the funniest part of it is I'm waiting for Jerry. You know, those dressing rooms are all off those little elevators. And I was doing a green room bit when Jerry was coming. So Jerry's on his way. I said, okay. And I sprawled out on the couch like I was asleep.

And then he walked in. with, it was Jerry, Steve Martin, and Tom Hanks. And all I hear is Jerry go, oh. And I opened my eyes thinking, you know, it's my pal. And it's these giants. I was like, hey, I'm just doing a bit that didn't work in front of my idols. Best case scenario, we've got to chuckle. So it wasn't even worth it.

Yeah, it was brutal. How are we, Joe? You guys are looking good. Thank you. You ever see the Tom Hanks thing with the, I think it was an Alabama football fan? No. He's passed out on a picnic table like this. Yeah.

All day. Alabama win. Yeah. This is done. And I don't know why Tom Hanks is around or there, but he sees the guy fucking down. He sees his phone and he like pulls the guy's heads up, grabs his phone, and just does it with him and the guy. He'll find this and have no clue. It's amazing.

Yeah. It's so good. Yeah, he's his face for evil. I baked you some bread. That's great. You're welcome. And I did one better. What did you do?

Better than breaking bread for someone is like the ultimate good. That's an Abrahamic thing. It is. It goes way back. Way back. I don't know how far this one goes back. But there's two elements of this. One is re-gifting, because it was given to me,

I couldn't eat all of them. But then I thought it was perfect. Totally cool with that. Hanukkah donuts. Oh. You looked for Joe immediately. Wow. Wow.

Nice. What are they called? They called something. Nice. Pass, pass. Rachel questionable. Wow. Why didn't the Jewish people lean into the jelly donuts more?

I didn't realize this until literally two years ago. Did we have them? Yeah. Why didn't we lean into them more? Yeah. Barely, you know, Lackas, barely. Yeah. Obviously, the, what, Mata Ball is a big one.

Big one. But, I mean, you know, with the Hanukkah Christmas thing, and it's like, you know, did all the things with the eight gifts and trying to, like, kind of. Yeah, they really could have marketed that jelly donut. It really would have been a, it would have put Hanukkah up at least a couple notches. I don't know if it would touch Christmas, but it would be. We couldn't touch Christmas. Closer.

But it is our, it's our most festive holiday. Yeah. By a lot. I mean, because we joined in with you guys. We just rode coattails. Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

You're like, we're going to ride. Hanukkah is the manet of holidays. We'll do almost what you're doing and just use that to prop us up. Just change it a little bit. And let all the Christians think it's important to us, but we're just having fun. We don't care at all. You don't care about Hanukkah. Yeah, my dad told us, he's like, no, we didn't do.

Connaker president's a modern American thing British. What'd you do? He goes, continued to have starvation in Romania. I don't know. We're lucky to have crops that year, like every year. Yeah. I don't know. This is very exciting.

You have two specials that are going to be coming out on Netflix. And the one is already a hit on YouTube. Yeah, pretty cool, huh? So is that one going to come out after America's sweetheart? America's sweetheart. Yeah. This one was January 14th. January 14th, America's sweetheart.

And then April or May probably. Wow. Yeah. That's amazing. Joe, you know Netflix. Yeah. So Ari Special does over 6 million views on YouTube. Yeah, we're even Germany.

Huge hit. Yeah. That's my mule. Go ahead. And then Netflix is like, we're going to, we're going to air it too. Yeah. Yeah, this is the second time that's happened. I did it on Comedy Central, too, where they were making fun.

of a few people who were like, I guess we'll do it on our own. Bamford was one. We were just like, hey, if they're not calling, I don't know how long we're going to wait. And so I got an opportunity to do one from some like online company that was trying to launch. And I was like, back then I couldn't even pay for it. Even five grand was like, no way. Right. And internal meetings are like, these comics, they're trying to do their own thing. That's so ridiculous.

And then they bought that special and another one. Wow. Really? Did it one too. Yeah. This is the second time I've done that. Amazing. It's an amazing feat.

It is pretty cool. It's very cool. It's pretty cool. I mean, I mean. I mean, it's like a little more of a stamp of approval than we think you're big. We'd like to have you. Yeah. It's more like, oh, actually the quality of that was such that we'd want it.

It was really good. Thanks. Jew and America's sweetheart. Your sets are both, they're both so beautiful. Like literally the set. Well, Pops, when you don't have kids. Go on. How many do you have?

20. Okay. I have two. Two. Okay. So that's how many abortions I paid for. So the difference in money after that is wildly different. And with those costs, 300 apiece?

There were 440, I think, 430, something like that. Worth it. Yeah, Mitzie. I told Mitzie after, for the first one, I was like, white face. I was like, what's the matter? I was like, I got to go pregnant. Oh, she's going to do. I think she's having an abortion, but it's next week.

I'm still hoping she goes through with it. It's out of your control. How much is it? I told her. She goes, oh, and they haven't gone up much since the, 80s. Like what? I pay for a lot of abortions for my comedians.

Oh, really? Jeez. I'll let you with the names later. Wow. For even 500, you can't even get braces. You can't get one row of braces. You couldn't do bottom braces for that. Shoes cost that much sometimes now.

If they're dudes. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so I got enough money to put it into my other babies. And put it into your specials. Oh, man. Can't really get it back. it's worth it.

They're both so, they're both really, both specials are great, but just the look of both of them. They're so distinct, but both so you. Yeah, I try to make it go with the design too,

like the Jewish thing. It's Eric Abrams a lot of the idea, but he's just like, something that harkens religiousness. And it's like, all right, candles, and then you go to some artist. That one was Lauren Helpern,

and then she was like, I've got some ideas. For sweetheart? No, for the Jew one. She's like, there are these boxes they use in a small town in Israel for Hanukkah,

and it's like, that'll sort of play, and we'll go from there. It was like, great. And then for this one, it was design foundry. And it was just like, what would happen if we get off the news and, like, stop caring about all this dumb, crazy stuff? And, like, kind of let nature take, take its course. Yeah. And then, like, do a set, you know, 50 years in the future of not caring.

It was so great. Because just for our listeners, if you haven't seen it yet, by the time this comes out, will we be? Release date. It's today? Nice. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, you must have seen this morning. Yeah, it was so great.

Yeah. That's great. We know people, so we got an early copy. But it's just all floral. It's like you're in the jungle. But it's not distracting at all. So my ideas on that are, if you want to know, it's sharp specific, the old Comedy Central stuff,

like it tells with like a big drum set behind them. Like that draws the eye because they're too small. So like one or two candles would have drawn the eye. 3,000 is just too many. So it blurt's in like the old headshot backgrounds. It's like stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also don't like sharp.

lines like this coming up out of my head is distracting we get Rachel right down and remove that line so like if I'm like here that's like an annoyance yes yes yes so if you do enough one rosebush would be not enough and then this company was like I don't know if we could do that for that kind of money and then I explained them what I'm doing and why and they go you know what let's fucking go wow yeah and when you like unleash an artist it's crazy it is great because it's for for for what I was paying attention to. I just saw the background, which was like these big jungle floral Amazon leaves. And it wasn't until a little ways in that I saw the floor was mossy jungle floor. Yeah, because we were like, if it's just the stage is still a stage, it'll look too sharp. And then they had this like these

fawns coming over the top to like cut the stage. Yeah. All real. Yeah. All real. Yeah. They took back the big elephant air plants, but the flowers, we just divvied it up for the crew. Whoa. That gives them to my aunt. Did it smell? Like floral? Yeah, you can hear a little bit of stuffy nose from the allergies I was getting to those. Yeah, there's a little bit of those really my voice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's dense. It's like, like the dark woods for the hobbits. Yeah, it was pretty wild. You walk in there and you're like, oh my God. Yeah, really cool. But yeah, not distracting. It's very interesting because it's interesting because you talk about how you left the news for like five years. You don't really watch the news. Stuff finds you, of course, but you don't really, you don't digest it all. But your mind is always

on the most current news stuff, not maybe news, maybe more trends. Like, you're very in tune with, you're not talking about family or whatever. I mean, Jews was different. This one is very topical. It's very fresh topical stuff. It doesn't seem like someone who cut themselves off from the... Well, I was hearing from other people. So like when a few things happened, October... Seven.

No, no, the other one. January 6th. Yes. I was in Ecuador. And I remember Rogan and Bert and Tom were all texting with his text thread. We were just shit on people. And then that was happening. I didn't know.

I was in Ecuador. And they were like, come, you believe this is crazy? And I just like took a picture of my view, which my dog. on me on a hammock with like jungle behind me yeah and i was like i don't know what you guys are talking about and then rogan's like uh yeah you win and then they just left me and went back to like fighting about the end of democracy and i don't know what else they were saying that none of it came true yeah so i hear about it from other people yelling right of course and i'm like oh what is that

that crazy yeah it was like somebody's talking about premier league and you're like oh wow and they weren't supposed to win yeah but it's uh yeah i just try to tell people why they shouldn't care about every single topic they seem to care about. Was it driving you crazy? Yeah, I came out of this thing. Because your mind is very active. So my friends who are smart, the news bothers them more than my dumber friends because they really see the reality of it. Yeah, it's not nuts?

Yeah, yeah. Who was it that said, like, I'm the smartest guy in the world because I know I'm dumb? You know what that was? Charlie Brown? Plato or Socrates is one of those losers. I was going to afford shoes. Yeah, it's like, don't you want blissful ignorance? Yeah.

Remember they were bitching about Iran, nuclear holocaust, one of the times? And I remember everybody yelling about it. And then I was like, about to go skiing. And then they were like, I'm like, yeah, well, I'm going to, we're all dead. Like, I can't do anything about it. Right. So, like, you're going to get to heaven. They're like, what did you do with your last days?

I'm like, I hit this run. I've never hit before. And I just, what about you? It was like, I was yelling as strangers on Instagram. right how embarrassing is that going to be yeah yeah just get happy enjoy your kids

I don't know there's so much fun to life and that's kind of what's cool about this special what is cool about this special is you take this heavy stuff and you do put a it's funny because I always get

I always get pinged for being an optimistic comic that people say I'm not cynical and I'm always seeing the bright side of things the difference though and in your special America's sweetheart you're doing the same thing, but your starting point is much darker subjects. Yeah, right, right. I'm finding

like happiness out of being with my family or whatever. You're finding the joy out of a school shooting. Right. Yeah, yeah. I try to find some laughs in extra dark places. In all the dark stuff. Yeah, we're both, I guess, both sides of that coin. You really are just living in positively, but I'm seeing like a dead body in the woods. I'm like, look at that rose growing out of it. Right. That's nice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I don't get near the dead body. You don't get anywhere near?

Because I'm at the swing set over there. Yeah. Yeah. But it does, when people ask me about it in interviews. About your positivity? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's crumbled around you.

You're now the punk rocker. Right. It's like a weird thing to be. And my answer is always, well, you have a choice. Why would you choose the other way to live? I don't understand that. I don't understand in the short amount of time that you're here. Yeah.

Why you would choose to fill your day and your brain with negativity and garbage. I just don't get the benefit of it. But the cool thing is, through the arts, is like, that's kind of how you express it. Where you don't heavy-handedly say it to people. You're just like, check out my comedy. You'll get my worldview from it. I'm talking about you. You know?

Yeah. Like, when they came up to like Dolly Parton, like, a few years ago for like, how come you don't stand up for, like, trans and gay rights? And she was like, guys, I wrote. 40 number one songs about it. Right. Like, what? Are you crazy?

You want me to tweet? Right. I wrote Hall of Fame music to take your aside. Yeah. What the fuck did you? You're coming after me? Right. Are you?

So, like, you've just shown a positive world forever. It's pretty nice. Yeah. Yeah. It's a much better way just to live, you know. Yeah, but even like Bob Dillon, like, he's anti-war. He wasn't like talking about it. He was singing about it.

Mm-hmm. You're singing about it. Right. It's nice. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I know you don't watch the news all the time, but you can eat one.

Those are for you. We didn't even get you a napkin. Do we have any napkins around? Do you the whole pockets like that? It's gone. No, I didn't take anywhere you were gone. What's up? I don't think you, Rachel.

I'll keep one, but I don't need it. They really are. They really are. This is a German trick to. That's a catch of juice. I see you eat these and just mark their faces. These are so good. God, damn.

Yeah, why? Why? Mm. Not a sweet sky, but I've heard of them. Oh, they're so good. Mm-hmm. You don't watch the news a lot. Mm-mm.

But you are a Yankee fan. We're both Yankee fans. Okay. Jesus. Did you hear who they signed? Cody Bellinger. Who cares? That close.

Exactly. He's an old one. He'll be middle of the line. I'm got that clothes is great. Got rid of Clay Holmes. Mm-hmm. That's fucking key. I know.

Clay was, yeah, he was a bummer. Juan Soto leaves, right? Mm-hmm. And it's kind of like, fuck him, fuck him.

Even though it's like, I get it. You got more money and you're a homosexuals who are playing the homosexual team in New York. And, um... Wait,

what? Huh? But, but, but, but it's like, you're kind of mad at him. Thank you, Rachel.

You saw me struggling. But with Clay Holmes, he got a $30 million dollar contract somewhere, and it's like, good for you, man. We couldn't have you here, but I hope you move on and get a better place. Yeah. Max Fried. Yeah.

Left-handed hitter. These are long contracts up, bro. Highest paid Jewish athlete. Oh, he's Jewish baseball player of all time. Sandy Kofax was. Look at me bringing you the news. Yeah. How great is that?

I never even did that math. Mm-hmm. Highest paid Jewish baseball player of all time. Wow. I know. It's all over me now. No. Do you need more napkin?

No, it's okay. That's crazy. Is that exciting? Jewish baseball player of all time, not Jewish athlete? I don't know. Maya, could you look that up? Who's the highest paid Jewish athlete of all time? There must be a tunnel digger somewhere that's getting paid well per

per hall. Yeah, maybe it's him. It's like what other leagues are there where Jews shine. There's probably a basketball player. Is there one basketball player? He wouldn't make the all-star money, though. Yeah. Maybe it's him.

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Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, there's probably a, oh, a soccer football player. Soccer what? Football player. What's that tattoo on your side? This one? Down there. Keep on trucking?

Is that what it says? Yeah, it looks like an F, but. You don't have to put it on on our account. Okay. Whatever makes you comfortable. I'm comfortable. My daughter said to me the other day, if she really wishes she was a guy

just so she could walk around with no shirt on. It's the best. She really was like, I just want to not wear a shirt. So it happens in New York sometimes. It's not as casual. No. No.

I went over to Jay's house once. Yeah. He used to live right in my neighborhood and I would go over there, just stop in. I'll get high and walk around, see if he's there. And then I'm like, dude, I saw a girl with just a tank top with like nothing the sides. And he goes, I saw her an hour ago. And it's like, you don't get that with, I saw a guy with this shirt off. Like, oh, I probably saw that.

Yeah, it's too much. I got Bobby's Kelly's kid to do it. You did. Yeah, I tell you, she was like, what's up? He sons out guns out, bro. And then, like, you know how kids will look up to adults sometimes? Yeah. He just, like, took his shirt off in the backyard.

And I was like, what are you doing? The sons out, guns out, mom, it's the law. That's great. He loves you so much more than me. I was the first person to hold his son. Really? Mm-hmm. Underwater?

Saying, you need to be single? For some reason, my daughter and I were driving back into the city the morning that after they had the baby and we stopped at the hospital and you we were the first visitors which is so like I'm sure he doesn't love that as the story he'd much rather be his mom or whatever

but it was me and my daughter wow yeah it was pretty good no children for you I got my tubes tied you dim yeah about I was doing a bit about it a few specials ago that I'm seven minutes away from getting

of a septomy. That was the punchline. It was all about hating kids and stuff. But I did this whole tour for like two years worried about it. I mean, I might take some chances that I shouldn't take in the heat of the moment. Sure. And I've heard of comedians like now link to some rando in Kansas City for the rest of their life. Yeah.

Because they had one extra beer. And Esty wasn't around. So then eventually I'm like, what am I doing? I just don't want them. Yeah. There's enough. were you why do you think he came to that decision

and it was always like it was never in the cards I guess it might have been you know the thing that like you do as you get older you slowly start dropping off possibilities of your life so like when you're in college like maybe it would be a teacher in my high school

like that's still a possibility probably too late now but it probably took to you like 25 we're like all right that's gone yeah there's different things the possibilities of life camp counselor right and then like I'll never

oh I won't do that or I don't do that or It would be fun to be a waiter, but not anymore. Yeah. That's done now. Yeah. And so, like, that was like, I guess I'll do it later, later. And then it was eventually, it was like, I don't want this. And I feel like the desire would have come by now.

Yeah. And it was like 40. Do you think it's connected to not having a partner that you're into? No, I don't. Yeah. I think it's connected to, it was dating an actress. She says you heard a theory that artists have less kids than minus, like, the ones who have 40. the French painters and stuff

But like Because a lot of the reason you want kids There's a few reasons Work to farm That's kind of done Right Yeah Yeah fulfillment is part of it

But it's like I want something to live on after me And if you've made the Mona Lisa You got it already You do have something living on Right So that's It's not that it will make that go away completely But like

Yeah It takes that need to For eternity down Right right right And then I heard Argus Hamilton say it once really well. Oh, yeah. Like, how come you never had kids? He goes, I'm the star of my life.

Yeah, that is. It's honest. Yeah, it is honest. That was the hardest part when we first had them. To give up startup? Yeah, because, you know, it's really just the selfishness of you. It's like, no, when we have kids, I'll still just, you know, I'm still going to read the paper. I'm still going to have coffee in the morning and start the day.

and I didn't read, there was no time to read the paper in the morning for 20 years. Like it was impossible. Like it's that level of attention that's needed. And for a selfish person, which we all are to some degree. And, you know, if you're in our business probably a little bit more, that was the shipping away of that was the gift or the curse of fatherhood. Do you think if you had, Not had kids.

Go back now to then. So you don't have the kids. And those kids that you have now are not going to come. Okay. But now that you know how much work it was going to take, you probably didn't quite know how bad it was going to be. Right. So now that you know, would that guy, that Tom Papa at 25 or whatever,

would he have had kids to have a full understanding of how much work it was? I would not have gotten my dog. I have the knowledge of the work. Do I have the knowledge of the other stuff? Like what? Those kids? Of just like what? The love.

The family, yeah, the love, all of that. I guess, I guess, yeah. And I would do it. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's worth it. It's exhausting. I remember sitting in the laugh factory on the stairs on like a Saturday show at like 1130 at night.

And I was just sitting there. I've been up since, you know, six in the morning, just going nuts all day being parents. And I was like, I should be graded on a curve. Yeah, yeah. Because these other people, these other comics, slept to 1130. left till 11.30, had brunch, went home, took another nap, got ready for the show. I have been just working. And I was like, it was so exhausting.

Completely exhausting. But back to the artist thing, we weren't sure if we were going to do it. I was a little more sure than my wife was, Cynthia, and she was a comic. And we, it was because of being artists that we kind of came to the idea of your whole job as an artist is to experience life and then put it back. Why would we pass on the biggest one? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird.

There's interesting, like, two ways to go with it. Yeah. Everyone's like, you don't know what it's like to have kids. This is a big argument. And no one's honest. Like, it's like, remember the Jaguars of our, like, teens and 20s? We're like, oh, they're nice, but they're in the shop all the time. Right.

And if you had a guy who would only talk about how great it is, and I'm like, I know you're covering up the shop part. Yeah. So I can't really trust you on how great it is. is because you're lying about the shop. And a lot of parents would just refuse to say the negative. Yeah, exactly. And so then it's like, I see it.

Yeah. I don't know. I see the bags on the rise. I know. Yeah. And just how much you age. Yeah. It's, I mean, it really kicks the shit out of you.

Yeah. I just thought I was having more fun. Yeah. So like I get it. It's like I'll never know what it's like to have kids. And then like my friends who had them was like, you'll never know what it's like to not have kids at 41. one.

Yeah. No kidding. Where it's like pretty joyous and free. Yeah, exactly. And you get to put the money onto your set. Yeah, exactly. Oh, if you had to okay that with someone who's like, we don't have enough money for their college yet.

I'm like, I'm going to justify this. Yeah. No, you do have a freedom that I often envy. Like, I'll just see you popping up in all different parts of the globe. Yeah. And you're just showing up in like all these different spots. And I heard a rumor that you might be moving.

Yeah, moving. You are. to Londontown. Oh, wow. First I'm going to go backpacking for a while. I think Morrissey might come meet me at some point. Oh, yeah? I don't know.

How did you know exactly who gave me the rumor? It's fun of you have mutual friends. Yeah, he's a big Yankee fan too. Yeah. Yeah, six, eight months ago, like, not completely off the grid, but just really backpack. Six or eight months? Yeah. When are you going to start?

After the second special? Yeah, after the second special. I told them like, hey, you can put it out whatever you want, but my life's calling. So if it's out past this time, I'm not going to be allowed on to promote it. Wow. My life's calling. What a beautiful phrase.

Duncan, my kids are calling. That's my phrase. Duncan told me that one. It's fighting with Disney Not Had with Comedy Central a little bit. They were trying to get me to work hard and keep going right back in. It was eight months of editing to make sure everybody story was right. And they were like, nah, just do one day and then let the editors take over.

And I'm like, you can, oh, no way. These things are counting on me. Yeah. Yeah. And then it was like, okay, I need a break. And I want to go like, try. I want to go to Southeast Asia. I want to go places.

Yeah. And then Duncan was like, well, they're telling you not to see the world and you want to see the world. So, I don't know. Yeah. Seems like there's your answer. Yeah, exactly. I know. But anyway.

And it informs you and you'll be a better comic for it. God, it's so fun. It's so fun being gone. You travel on, huh? I travel a lot of in the States. Yeah. I have a handful of children. trips out of the country that I'm not a great traveler in places that are unknown I get nervous

I get nervous too you do oh yeah well there's this idea about me that I'm like brave yeah that's what I see I just I'll just he'll like be with this crazy people in the jungle and just drink lamb's blood and yeah you're seeing the last day of the trip yeah yeah yeah right you do calm down Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, right, you do calm down once you start to becomes the unknowable becomes knowable. Yeah, I mean. Or known.

And everywhere you go, there's a, there's a bit of, I don't know if there's American, maybe Jewish fear of like, of like other countries. I don't know if it's like, yeah, phobia or like they're going to rob me. I'm going to get cheated. It's always there. And then you get to some countries like, oh, this is a highly Buddhist country where they're like, their culture is to assist. Right. And I'm still like, what are you, what? What?

Yeah. No, I think it's growing up with American media, even more than our schools, just watching what I was taught about the Middle East my whole life made me so scared of it. And then we talked on your podcast. I went to Beirut. And it was like, I'm, you know, there's like, what am I going to be? This is terrifying. And then I was like, maybe I can get a place here. Yeah.

What a shift. What a shift. Yeah. No, but I do get nervous. Yeah, but I think that's good to go into something that makes you nervous. It's like, that's kind of where life lies. Yeah. And the discomfort and like the figuring it outs.

So what makes you want to live in a different spot? Same reason I moved to New York from L.A. When everyone was going the other way. Uh-huh. I remember Domarera goes, no, dude, people don't do it that. You're starting to take off. Like, stay here or if you're in New York, come here. Right.

That's crazy what you're doing. Right. But I was like, I want new restaurants and meet new people. Yeah. I want to know the bookers in these places when I hear you guys talking about them. It's a romantic idea of it. I want to be part of that. And so is it more comedically for London?

There's only a few cities I can live to do what I do. Yeah. Three going on four, maybe, but I'm kind of too famous in that town to do it there. Uh-huh. So, I mean, I get, dude, I get challenged in London. Crowds hate me. Do they really? Yeah, I get yelled at.

Oh, really? Yeah. Before, because they saw you before? No, because what you're saying that night. I'm saying right then. Oh, really? Yeah, the last time I was at Top Secret, it was like, two different shows. They did six shows there, two different ones.

Some woman, a different woman, it was not the same one. I was like, move on, guy, move on. And it was like, really? Yeah, and the second show, another guy was like, no, don't. Like, they were, it was splitting them. The first show was just straight bomb. But the second one was like splitting them where it was like, this might be too advanced. for their sensibilities there.

Yeah. You know, Lenny Bruce probably suffered from that. I was like, oh, you should come back in 10 years and people would like you better. Right. You know? Yeah, yeah. But I want that. I want that risk.

Yeah. You enjoy it. I love it. I love how you laugh from, like, un laughable places. Yeah. The failures are bad, but the winds are so good. I talked to Agent Appalucci about this. Yeah.

You get him to laugh at a, at a, was, um, Ted Bundy better for black people than Martin Luther King. And if you can get him to laugh at that. Right. And it's like, what an earned laugh. Yeah. What's strange is that whenever there's real pushback, it's not, when audiences don't consider the source.

Because I think what's great about, context. Yeah, what's great about standups is you get their essence immediately. Like, you know who they are. And you don't, you're, obviously not a wicked evil person. You know, it's like Jezelnik kind of has the same kind of a thing where you don't, this isn't, you got to be on the, it's pretty obvious that you're in on the joke with

this guy. Yeah. You know, he's like, hi, I'm just a normal guy. I'm just here to entertain you without saying it like that. Right. And then when he says something real dark, it's like, oh, I'm just your guy saying it. It's not just someone sitting next to you in a bus. Right.

And a lot of times you'll get something taken completely out of sense. It's like, there's jokes you can't do up front. Right. You do 30 minutes in because I got really earned their trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then his presenter to people up top. Without even knowing who you are, Artie Lang had that once where he made a joke about somebody and then people retweet it.

His followers all know it's Ardy Lang comedian. Right. His followers just know who the fuck is Arthur Lang? Right. Why is he saying these? Yeah. I'm joking. Yeah.

You know, if I, if you go to the bathroom, when I tell them, like, I hope he never comes back. Right. They know we're friends. Right. Exactly. So it's okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess Jimmy Carr's probably in the UK. Yeah. Jimmy's cool. He's always been helpful. The one. Like, who could be dark without. No, there's a few guys. We just don't know.

I'm sure. Yeah. Finn Taylor gets like that. Uh-huh. There's tons more that I don't sloss. Right. Yeah. Scotland technically counts the UK for another couple years

before they finally man up and get that 1% back and take off. Yeah, there's a few. So the landscape's probably, so it probably is a good time for you to go when it's all when the ground is shifting. It's so funny you tell people you're going there too. Like, it's illegal to do your type of stand-up now.

And I'm like, let's see. Right. Yeah. You ever perform out there? Just once. I haven't offered to go back in, June. Spots are different than your own show.

Yeah, this would be my own show. Yeah. Yeah, my own show would never get pushbacks. They're already converted. Oh, you're talking about just jumping on a comedy store or something. Yeah. That's what Gerardo always said. He goes, spots are barely overlapping of a headline set.

Right. It's like all, it overlaps, but a little. A little, yeah. Yeah. No, it's true. That's why it's good to do spots, you know, to stay sharp and to stay good. better follow Tom Papa. There's better be able to follow Mormon.

And then if I do it in my hour, it's not just because I have them. Right, exactly. You're not just your, yeah, your little tribe. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. So anyway, I can do stand up every night in London. Yeah, well, that'd be good. Do you know what part you're going to live in?

Just going to go. Airbnb for a couple weeks and it's a few different spots. So I kind of feel out. I might want to live. Oh, man. It's just, even now talking about it, it's pretty exciting. It is exciting. You know, my kids are grown now.

So we could do whatever you want. I could probably do the same kind of thing. Like take the Airbnb right as you're leaving, I take it. Yeah. And then I'd probably go back home. Yeah. Well, what about New York for a while? What's that?

What about New York for a while? I do want to go back to New York. And I'm thinking, you know, it's so nice here right now. Oh, right. It's so sunny and beautiful. Yeah. And I don't know if I could do full year, winter over there, but I would like to spend three months at a time. Yeah. You know.

I used to do Irish roommates with people. And I was like, I'll come to L.A. for the winter. You take a far more expensive place in New York, but in the shittiest time. Yeah. And I'll pay more. I'll pay for my place. You play for your place. Right. And I'll just live there. They did with Fultron. Do it with Benji. Oh, really? That's great. Yeah. Find someone like that. Yeah. That would be cool. Yeah. I have to get somebody to kidnap my dogs first. I got to get rid of them. They're kind of like children. Did you ever have pets?

No pets either. I have my first dog. You'd have a dog right now? I love it so much. I love it so much. Really? Yeah. But also, if I knew the amount of work it was going to take, I don't think I could convince that guy to do it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the, it's the, I'll just stay out. Like, oh, you can't just stay out. You have to, forget the little sicknesses. No, I know. It's a, you're breaking their heart. Yeah, but also it's like they got to piss and poop.

Yeah. They're on times. Well, I'm glad you brought this up because it's, um, uh, uh, uh, what's where? Well, you know, you talk about a lot of things in your comedy and you offend a lot of people. And, um, I think I have a pretty thick skin with it all. Oh, great. But, uh, so we're good? No, we're not good.

Oh. Uh, I saw your run on pugs. And you really acted like they were, um, inbred. Inbred. Yeah. And that, uh, that when they're making their little grumble noises, yeah. They're really saying, kill me now. Yeah.

Just kill me. They're so in breath. Put me out of my misery. Like at the very end of the fly when he has that guy and they're like, don't kill him, hurt him. Yeah. I was listening to that while looking at my pug. You're so right. Someone did a, someone did a spray of a pug's head.

Uh-huh. Oh, what a shit show. Really? It's not structured like a face. I mean, the eyes are like this and it's like. It's so bad. Yeah. It really is so terrible.

Who made bugs? Who bred those for? I think it was the emperors, right? Was it in... Yeah, they were all impred. Yeah. Yeah. They're the sourdough starters.

They got messed up ones. If your starter's fucked, everything's fucked, right? Yeah. It's a complete mess. Maya. Who these guys doing stock trading here? It's so funny watching like... They worked really hard.

Really? Monkeys? No. That's like an R-E bit. What do you mean? Monkeys bred them for that? Monkeys bred them. You look a little like a pug.

Your face is a bit hug-like. You know, you just talked about how horrible they are. And what's atrocities they are. If your eyes were a little further out and your laugh with your regular breath. It really is true. I am becoming more like my pug. How many do you have? You're always a pug guy?

No. My daughter got Frank during the, pandemic. When she, her sister went to school. Yeah. And she replaced her sister with a pug. And I was like, it just seemed hilarious. It was the pandemic.

She's lonely. I'm like, whatever. And now I've really fallen in love with this pug. They're really kind of great. Can he jump up on a couch or a bed? Or do you have to? A low couch. A low couch.

One of my least favorite things, unless you get steps, but the dog just goes like this to you. Yeah. I'm like, oh, fine. Yeah. I should just get up here. Should we crack this bread? How do you do it?

Are you saving it for another pot? No, I'm just giving it to you. It's your bread. I baked it literally 20 minutes ago. Really? Mm-hmm. What's your wildest thing you've done? With bread?

Like dolly-ish, like people, like the real bread community is like, that's not cool. I'm pretty conservative. I'm pretty much a Norman Rockwell of breads. Oh, okay. I don't get too dolly-ish. Okay. Halapeno cheddar, which isn't that crazy. I imagine what it applies to was like cutting edge jazz musician,

you know, where they're like, like, I, no. No, you can't do that. You can't take those liberties with a saxophone. I kind of am in that camp. Really? When I see people going nuts on social media, everything's pugs and bread on my social media. And I'll see people do something like insane.

And I'm like, no, you can't. Have some respect. No, have some respect. No, this is a, while we're on uncomfortable moments of you calling me, First of all, shitting on pugs, talking about how awful they are and then saying I look like one. I got in trouble with that because I said on radio at Edmonton, I said it was the first one I got.

They're the pugs of the human community Jews. And then somebody called in and was like, these radio hosts are so anti-Semitic. They called the club, which the club is on the radio show. But then they were like, already said that. And they were like, oh, okay then. This is just an uncomfortable moment. Our crackerjack staff over there finds things.

Yeah. And I don't want to blow your image or anything. You know, nice. You act like you even have to move to countries because you're so dangerous and your stand-up is so controversial. I don't say it like that. You do. But here we see, it seems like you're lately entertaining school children. Do you want to?

explain this kindergarten comedy you're into yeah i'm doing bits i listen if you find laughter from place where you can't get laughter that's the best laughter this little kid looks like he's the red rum guy by the way um yeah so if you get these kids to laugh at it's you know fucking in the shower then that's a really harder and laugh because they're really like showers in the first place they're like do you mean baths and i'm like i don't go with me on this ride it's pretty i don't do my school shooting jokes during the kindergarten. Oh, that's good. You saved that for the high school.

Look at those kids. They're so interested. Where did you find that? We, you know, we take deep dives here, breaking bread. Can't spell Ari without AI. No, no, that's real, though. That is real. You ever say something on the spot and get a laugh?

And you're like, they're like, how could I do that? Yeah, I know. Yeah. I do it. That was pretty good. A joke ever. Yeah, exactly. I really know what I really know.

I'm doing. I was fighting with somebody about something about a politics. I'm always like, I don't get involved. Yeah. I'm like, hey, you know, when I hear somebody, that other side is this and this. And I'm like, you know, they say that about your side. Yeah. Like, why do you mean?

I'm like, look, I don't care. I'm just telling what you guys saying about each other. Right. Yeah. You're talking about each other's fringes. You're two percents and you assume they're all that. Yeah. And then they were like, they're like a left wing side.

Like, I just think everyone should be left alone and you should like punish trans. people or gay people. I'm like, they all think that too. They don't, none of them think they should be in jail. You're, you're crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's like what, but wait, what was they just going to say? Oh, balls. Oh, I know. Ah, nice. Look at you. You're back, baby. So they were shit, they were shitting on, I know, I shouldn't curse on your podcast. You can. You're like, you remind me a lot of an alcoholic, sober alcoholic. Uh-huh. And then I sometimes I'm like, are you safe for the oh, can I have a beer in front of you?

That's why I'm with cursing. Oh, really? Is this offending you? You know, that's funny, because when I was on your podcast, I noticed that you cleaning it up. You cleaned up your language. Yeah. And I was wondering, because it's your podcast.

Yeah, but you're a nice young man. Is that what it is? Yeah. So they were saying how, like, I saw him about Trump, and I was just talking about how sometimes he's misinterpreted. And I was like, like, like, that's a joke. That's not a serious thing when he says this. Right.

How would you know? And I was like, well, I'm an expert. I can be called to the stand as an expert on jokes. There's better ones in me, but like, I can see joke structure. He's not serious. Yeah. From someone. Yeah.

From the joke community. You can see doesn't mean that. Yeah. From the joke community. Yeah. I noticed that this last election cycle, when both sides were screaming on top of their lungs, that if the other side won, it was the end of democracy. Yeah.

And I was like, wait. What? Also, weren't they both already in? So like, they'd already both had, right? They both proved it was not going to be nuclear holocaust. Gays are not getting arrested. No one's taking your son's dick. And yet, people are like, if we thought,

and so that's why I didn't quite have the energy the last two did. Yeah, yeah. Because we were like, you don't really believe it. Right. I show you my away message from when I went to Cuba with Bobby. No. For the election so I could miss it because I care so little. So I went to, yeah, we went to Cuba.

We didn't find out who went until Sunday until we came back. Till Sunday? Yeah. Wow. And you've never voted, right? I put it for Clinton won. Uh-huh. And then, um, Perot? He won.

And then I was like, I think I'm done. First out of laziness. Uh-huh. And then, um, and then out of like, um, just sure, like, come on, where is this? Shear like, oh, I don't, I think it's all crooked. Mm-hmm. Uh, gonna keep her, here we go. Okay.

Damn it. I hope. This is my away message I really like. If you had kids, this is when they go, Dad, just give it to me. I'll find it. I'm in Cuba for the election. No Wi-Fi or cell reception. No way to get in touch with you or me. I didn't bring my phone with me.

I narrow it down to a list of countries that legally do not allow elections. You didn't bring your phone with you? Uh-uh. I brought a burner phone so I could just take pictures. Really? Yeah. In my absence, please enjoy screaming at your friends, neighbors, and various online strangers during this period of democracy.

Say hello to your echo chambers and use the line. I feel like everyone is crazy except us for maximum proving nods. If civil war breaks out while I'm gone, I might no longer be the third richest man in Havana. This is the part. I sure who do hope your candidate wins. They just have to. The state of the country and really the free world hangs in the ballots. If your person doesn't win, I think we're doomed and I fear for the children.

If your person does win, it's going to be a great time of economic. and social excellence. That really is so perfect. Wait, what side? They're just like, gosh, shut up. How was Havana? Glorious. I've never been.

It was right my first time. Yeah. Glory. Hurricane came in the middle and wiped out a few days. We wanted like a day before, like you're not going to get back in time. And then no power on the whole country for two days, which was interesting. Mm-hmm. But, man, when it came back.

Did it feel dangerous? What do you mean interesting? Like not having power. Then they were like, I'm like, oh, let's go explore. And the guy was like, wait till sunlight. Right. Don't go past a block past here in this condition. Uh-huh.

It might be some like, um. Near do wells. Yeah, it might just be like in moments of like when there's no food. But there was like, we had to run, find bread and cheese before it happened. The guy's like, hey, the power's going to go off. We just got it back. It's a, if the heavy winds come in, there's no way it's lasting. Right.

So we need a stock up. And then stupid Bobby Kelly is like, ooh, let's get cookies. What kind of cookies are? I'm like, Bobby, you need bread and cheese. And he goes, but let's get. Come on. They're out. They're out.

Let's go to the next spot. He goes, but we're going to need cookies. We're looking for cookies. Once a fat guy, always a fat guy. It really is true. It can't help it. What if he were out of cookies? Yeah.

But man, when the power came on, we're up on a balcony. Me and him on the roof of this place we were staying. Well, you see one light in the distance. We're like, maybe. It might be a generator, but it might not. We're just smoking a cigar watching. And then it was like an hour later, we were like, I can feel it. And then an hour later it was like, bop, pop, pop, bop, the whole country comes back.

Wow. And we're just everybody. You just hear a country celebrate. Wow. It was great. I was like, yeah. I'm like, let's get out there and party. They brought the bands, let's go.

And they all started fucking playing. Jeez. It ruled. Wow. Yeah. And then the next day we just watched like destruction. We walked around. Yeah.

The guy was like, you probably don't get to look. look at post-hurricane cities much. Yeah. Yeah, good point. But a good city just to... Yeah, safe. They might... What I got is, the worst they're going to do is steal from you.

Yeah. But your career, it's... If you get punched to steal from you, that's 15 years. Oh, it ain't worth it. Whoa. Interesting. Yeah, the guy who said,

the guy who was staying with, you stay with, like, houses so you can get a little tip. That's the only way they can acquire wealth. Oh, really? Otherwise, you get kind of paid from the government. so doesn't matter how good your coffee shop does, you're getting paid the same. Except for chips from foreigners.

So I'm off a little bit in that. So you stayed at someone's house? Yeah, in a spare room. I know. Built and so, but yeah, he was saying he got his phone robbed the other day. And he goes, they want to report who it was or like describe them. But like, it's a 30 euro phone. And like the fact that the guy grabbed me by the neck to steal it,

he goes, it's my, I was drunk, but like, I was drunk, but like, listen, I want my phone back. I'm not putting somebody in jail for 15 years who's desperate. That's the word I was looking for it. The desperation goes up. Right, right. And it's like, don't do that, but the punishment, no way.

Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's nice. Yeah. So that's the worst that's going to happen. And is that the vibe? Like, people have like a kindness towards each other. Totally. And then the people I knew there were even more adventurous

went to like house parties. They're like, oh, you're from out of town? Come join, like do stuff. Women, like a single along women. Yeah. There's just not. No. That kind of fear.

Well. Stepping a dog shit. Yeah. Massive fear. Yeah, but that's fun. That is fun. After the hurricane, it was on the walls. And you walk back into that guy's house.

Hey, look at authentic culture. Go into your room. Yeah. God, it was fun. Your special Jew will come out in May, April May. Your episode of my podcast, you'll be tripping. Let's put that out in like in the last. last month before your Beacon show.

Move from tickets. Oh, yeah. May, I think, right, Rach? May 3rd or something? I'm getting a year ahead so I can, like, go be in South America and still be putting out episodes. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I wish you have another special cover.

No, one just came out. Yeah, all right, so that's going to come out around the same time. What is your take on the world's anti-Semitism during the recent? I mean, I know you're not in the news, but I'm sure you've, feel like the ground shifting in lots of different places. Yeah, I don't think it's a, I'm in my knowledge. Do you feel like it's an uptick? No.

You don't. No. I mean, you're always going to be able to point to stories. Small stories to prove your thing, but that's like, that's not a proof. You know, one thing happened. It's like, all right, that's an uptick. And I mean, there are big violent things. I don't take that away when a synagogue got shot or the Orlando Nightclub get shot.

But like, overall, our gays. better off now than they were 30 years ago? I think yes. You know, no one's looking at Mateo and his boyfriend, like, double-taking, like, oh my God, two guys. I think it's way more normalized. But then that Orlando shooting is like bad.

You can't take that away, but things are, I just don't see this anti-Semitism. Online, sure. Most of online is trolls and retards. You know, people literally in their 30s living with their mom and people just trying to make you bad. Yeah. I don't, I travel around.

I don't see it. The protests this year from the... Overhyped. Gaza stuff. Like, you know, rich boss or... He's crazy. He's crazy. He reads the nudes. But I'm saying, like, coming out of a show and having people, like, protest of their face.

Yeah, but then it's like, are you scared? It's like, did anybody touch Jerry Seinfeld? They did. No, no, no. Yeah. So it's like, okay, so those people are too worked up into it. I like to how I handle it, too. It was like, oh, here we go.

It's like, you're going to disrupt my... I'm just an American. Jew in Australia. Oh, what are you guys doing? You're so dumb. I know. Gray, you're yelling fixed the whole problem. Yeah.

I mean, I saw an Israeli and a Palestinian getting a fight in New York and they both got arrested. And I'm like, neither are you even there. Right. You're doing nothing. Now you're both in jail. Yeah. Stop that, like, Simmons. So do you think it's more, so do you think it's more of a social media noise?

So I was with Ben Gia Flawley, who's way deep into it. Uh-huh. It's a comic writer out here. And he was like, it's bad. I was like, I don't think it is. And we looked up stats. And Columbia was really bad, a lot of whatever. And we looked it up.

8% of students in Columbia had been to a single protest. 92% had not. 92% had not even attended one protest. But if you read the news, it's nonstop all the time. Right. It never stops. Yeah. They're giving us a false sense of the world.

and we're believing in that world. It's really bad. Right. Because then you look, there's that moment where because I'm in the world, even when I'm online, I'm still in the world, you run into an Arab comic, and you're like, are we good?

Really? Like, we've always been cool, right? Like, we're both, like, looking at each other. Like, I don't care, and you didn't do it to me and I didn't do it to you. Right, yeah, yeah. Also, it's just shitty. Yeah, it's sad as fuck.

Yeah. Any death of a child is really bad. But, like, how do we go from, like, peace in the Middle East to it's their fault or it's their fault. You step over a homeless guy. You don't go, which government policies put him in place? You can just see the humanity. Yeah, yeah.

So like, I don't know, it's just shitty, but like, don't think about it. Ew. It's interesting because it's kind of reflective of what we were saying before, of your Cuban text, of your side, your side, all the drumming up of the, Yeah. It's your side, if the other side wins, you're going to end democracy. And then you go out on tour and you go to Indiana or you go to these places and nobody's at each other's throat. I have one of the biggest noses in comedy.

I didn't want to bring that up. That was the other uncomfortable moment. That's one way we could have gone. But I'm like, I go all over the country. I don't just stay in my hotel. I'm not like a rich guy who just stayed. I like to explore and do stuff. Yeah.

And to rural, to democratic, conservative places. Like, no matter where, I. it hasn't come once. It wasn't like, it used to come a little and now it's more. The subway pushings was almost nothing and then it's still almost nothing but slightly more. But still, but it's dramatic. You read the news like, fuck, you're scared, but like who even knows anyone who has happened to? Right.

Yeah. It's just an overhype. Yeah, yeah. And so like, yeah, that becomes like, I just don't see it. I don't see it. I'm out there looking. Right, right. So Benji was like, I could get kicked once, a rally.

And I was like, what preceded that? He was like, I was insulting the guy's mom. And I'm like, okay, so you took that out to try to further this story. That's that fake story you just told. Yeah, fair enough. You're right. Yeah. Well, it's good to hear.

Yeah, you see it online. You think it's everywhere. No, that's what I, yeah. And the reason I bring it up is because, you know, I talk to my Jewish friends. Are they scared? Yeah, they feel it. They feel like not having addressed it like head on or seen it, but just the noise. The chatter seems like it's...

We're also in a victim culture where there is money and glory to be made in something bad happening to you. It changed. It's okay to change. I don't want to be a geeseer about it, but it changed from like bragging about the hurdles you went over rather than the hurdles that held you back.

But now we brag about the hurdles that held us back. Right. Okay, it's fine. If that's the world, that's fine. But like, that makes you then... So I talked to someone who just graduated... Not Columbia. Barnard.

one of those right around the hundreds New York Columbia Fordham yeah might have been Columbia Columbia Fordham Brandeis no that's

In New York In the city? Yeah in the city Anyway You don't have to look at it I just thought maybe you know off the top of your head Good school Fordham yeah

And they were talking about trans And we were at a wedding And there was a trans Sibling or something And I was like What did you think of them They're like What I thought they'd be

I'm like, what do you mean? It's like a bit of attention to grabbing. And I was like, oh, it's everybody like faking it. Let's say it's Columbia. And she goes, oh, no, there's tons of like legitimate trans people. But in search of victimhood, if you're an upper middle class white person and you need something bad, you can't just be black. Right. But you can just say I'm non-binary.

You can get that real easily for a couple of years. So there's a few people and they're annoying. And then they go into that. And it kind of distracts from the people like, I'm not mine. Really? Right. Right. Yeah.

So with that in mind, people liked it. I remember right before the pandemic, I was reading, I was like, you know, black people are really like going hard on the anti-victim now. And then it's like, I was kind of like, I'm glad Jews aren't doing it yet. We're just not participating. Then I read an article. This lady was like, it just started. And she was like, I'm scared to go out for my life.

This is five or six years ago. She goes, every time I go out, I have to take my Jewish start. necklace and like tuck it in because I'm scared for my life. And I wanted to reach through the page and go, take it off. If you're not lying, take it off. There's no law that says you have to wear that. That's just an adornment. Right. So you're lying. Right. You're lying for effect. I can see through it. Yeah. That's crazy. What are you talking about? You're talking about hear me. Pay attention to me. Yeah. And so it's like, that's a lot of it. And then people like, oh, this lady's scared. I'm like, she's not though. She's faking and you're taking her word for it. Right. So that's

That's what I think. Yeah. And I'm sure a lot of people will be like, no, you're crazy. But it's like I saw this online. I saw this online. Or it's bias. Yeah. Like it's like this thing happening.

You're like, but what led up to that? Was that a lover's tiff or was that a racial thing? I know you want to see, like reported hate crimes in all categories have gone up. Uh-huh. But proven hate crimes don't go up by the same rate as the reported hate crimes. Uh-huh. Right. But that's just kind of comes with the world.

But then. To us, it means should the reality, should you go fear going out? And I say no. Right. Right. You know, crime stats. Yeah. Is New York dangerous.

Like, are you talking about gang on gang violence? Because we're not talking about can your girlfriend walk the dog? Right. Without getting shot. That's the real violence we're talking about. Yeah. And then it's like, no, it's totally safe. Right.

It's kind of the same. Yeah. Well, this is a good lesson. That was too serious. No, it wasn't. No, because I'm really interested because I know we've had other comics on who don't hold that opinion. that they feel like, you know, that they do see it. Like, but it, when you talk about it,

it is mostly the online kind of stuff, you know, and they do feel it because they come after them. So, I mean, if anybody comes after me for anything, I feel it. Yeah. You're looking for a fight. It's always. Yeah. But it's like, you read the fountainhead?

Yeah. So there's a, yeah. There's a, um, this guy got set up. do some high level piece of art by a guy who kind of hated him for being a pure artist. Right. And he gave him this commission to do a, drew to a temple, a church or some kind of. Right, right. Because you're such a hot, you do whatever you want.

No rules on this. You know, Bridget Everett was on my storytelling show once. And she was like, can I sing a song like, Bridget? It's not a song thing. It's a story thing. And then she was like, but I'd like to, and I was like, fucking fine. And then, man, through song, she told this 12 and a half minute long story. Yeah.

And how out of line I was to tell an artist how to do their thing. Yeah. So wrong on my part. Right, right, right. And proven. Even if she had failed, I'm out of line to say it. True. Anyway, so this guy sets up this artist, this architect, to do whatever he wants in this, whatever.

And at the time, all the church were very high, closer to heaven. This guy's theory was heaven's on earth. We are God's creation. So he'd made a long, flat one. And then the guy who set him up wrote a bunch of articles under different names and told people about articles saying, this is heretical. Remember it all? Yeah, it's terrible.

And everyone's like, yeah, it's terrible. They're all reading the news. They're all online, that version of online. It's terror, how dare you? How dare you do this? And the passage I love was like occasionally someone who doesn't read the news would come into the church just randomly and then be overwhelmed by a sense of peace and awe. Wow.

Like they got it because they weren't influenced. That's the world. It's fucking great. I know. It's a great world. It really is. The technological advances, the science advances. in like equality.

We're all at super high levels right now. Yeah. Minus a couple blips. Yeah. I had that even just yesterday when I was driving home through the hills. And it's the, like these, you know, in L.A.

you have these legendary spots of traffic. Uh-huh. Where it's just like, you know, it's going to double the time to get home or whatever. And I'm in one of these legendary bits of traffic. Yeah. And it was such a beautiful day and the windows were open. and I'm watching the other people in traffic down at that other valley going through their thing

and the wind was just coming through the trees and you could literally smell whatever was blooming and I'm like we live in magic. Oh my God, it's December. We live on the East Coast. But just being a human being on Earth is magic. It's magical. And. Great outlook.

Yeah. It really does capture you at times. And then you're in a best. better place than the other guy's like, fucking move. Yeah, right, exactly. Inching up and inching up. Looking at his text, reading news stories as he's in his traffic. Yeah, just open your glove compartment, bring out your water bong, and enjoy the traffic. Well, I hope this lesson was really heard by everybody because I think Joe, who's our producer,

anytime I have a suggestion about what we should do on the podcast, I'm hearing anti-Semitism. And I just think we should keep in mind what Ari is said today. And not everything is... Sometimes it's just people trying to make things better, Joe. I want to do like anti-semitism for good. So my favorite one is the comments, thank you for the weather today. It's based in positivity. Hey, I played golf in February, man.

I appreciate that. I'm like, nope. All right. I want to do a series of the racist detective. I feel like it must have been done. The racist detective. And he's solving crimes correctly, but under the wrong. For the wrong reasons.

Yeah, it's like, this black guy couldn't have written the ransom note because they can't read. You're like, all right. I mean, you're letting them off, but yeah. You're that funny moment in the special when you talk about Ms. Pat. You're like, what is, why is, what's with your grammar? What's with your people's grammar? What they do? And when I upset you people, I don't mean, I just mean, uh, all not juice.

On the Jews, right? That rules. Yeah. We were sitting on a on a, on a park bench once in Brooklyn. We were doing it. Maybe the first podcast I did with her, which outside she put on one of her top three wigs. Went out there and we passed a, a sit a couple past us. Yeah.

She hadn't been in New York before. And she was like, hello. The guy just kind of looked at her, not even angry, just kind of like looked. As if you're seeing a caterpillar, just looking with no. She was like, hello? Hello. She was passed. The woman of the wife kind of nodded.

That was it. She's like, what the fuck was that? And I was like, oh, partially he can't see you. Right. Because you're black, so he's just like he tones anything not Jewish is out. Right. And then partially, he's mad at you sitting with me. Because he's like, what are you doing with that?

Right. Either way, don't let it in. But he didn't really, he doesn't understand. He didn't mean any real harm. Yeah. The one surprise of your second special of Jew was I always thought, because I grew up in predominantly, not predominantly, but it might have been a majority of not Orthodox, but Jewish families. Yeah. And so it was always in northern New Jersey.

Oh, yeah. And it was great. I just loved, they're so close to Italians. Very close. A lot of overlap. Yeah, a lot of overlap in the families and the dynamic of the mom and the grandmother and the food and all that stuff. And it wasn't until you're special that I realized that Goy wasn't a term of endearment. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting.

Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rbc training ground.ca. You deserve a bunch. Yeah, because I'm like, I would say it out loud. It was always like a beat of them looking at you like, why are you saying that about yourself? But I always thought it was, it's a fun sounding word.

So I just assumed, yeah, well, I'm not Jewish. That's obvious. Yeah, okay. It can be. It's kind of like Jew. If you say it right, everybody if you say it wrong. Right. That's the trick of your special.

It's like you have to say Jew, but how you say it can really, the inflection can mean a lot of different things. Yeah, the community I talked about. the rest of my family's still pretty religious. And so they were like, when they knew it was coming out, they were like, the community was like pretty worried. Oh, really? They were like, well, that's the last thing we need is an Jewish. It was right after the Kanye and then Kyrie Irvin kind of put it off.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I shot it well before, but it was coming out right then, so people were kind of more conscious of it. And so funny, they got mad of Kanye for calling his agents Jews. I'm like, I've been doing that for 10 years. That was my bit. My Jews. My Jews. And they're not even Jewish, but they're still your Jews.

But they were like worried. But then when they saw it, they're like, oh, okay. Oh, yeah. It was actually pretty respectful. Yeah. It was very respectful, I thought. And really. Too much cussing, but. But yeah. Well, there are definitely, I can see them. I can see some orthodox having some problems with some of it, of course. But I'm like, why would you say that about us? Yeah. It didn't really come. Right. Yeah. I was really, I mean, it was really, it was so well done. I mean, it was, I can, the great, the beauty of YouTube is that it's going to do numbers because it's worthy of numbers. It's not going to be a mistake. People aren't going to just kind of like, you know.

You get mistakes the other way. Yeah. For some reason, like, you won't get numbers. But like, if they get numbers, it's, there's something. Yeah, exactly. And it really was like a refreshing, informative, funny, like almost history lesson and cultural lesson. Yeah. And it was really well done.

Thanks. It's our try. I worked pretty, like, way more intentionally on that than anything I've ever done. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Like, what goes in? What doesn't go in? What have I not covered? Asking people like, anything yet?

There's one guy's like, you haven't done anything about Palestine? I'm like, damn, I need a joke. I need at least one joke in there. Yeah. Or it's why didn't you do that? Right. Right. Right.

Towards the very end, Joe Rogan was like, what's the difference like the brown Jews and the white Jews? I'm like, fuck. Right. I need at least one joke in there for this. Right. Yeah, yeah. Was it different than putting together the new special?

Like while you were touring around? New special found me. The theme found me. That one, it was like I went into it. But it's like, it's like 10, 12 years of like, I got to eventually get to this.

Wow. And then this one, I was like, I'm just going to do 45 minutes of just jokes. And then just touring, I was like, I'm starting to see. And also I'm starting to care about all my friends yelling about everything.

And I was like, it's on my mind. And I have half the bits that can justify not getting into that. And I'm like, I'm going to write another half. Okay. The Jew one, though, was all like, okay, I can't cover every holiday. It would be a seven-hour thing just on that. Yeah, exactly.

But I'm like, what do I have to cover? Yeah. What do I not? And then how do I show, like, my upbringing and the laws, some of them overlap? So, like, my version of Khanak, I'm telling you the Khanical laws. And also what I did when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. So that would be both.

And it was just like, I would have these, like, no cards. And I'm like, which one covers each of these. three different or four different angles. Wow. History, laws, customs, genetics. Right. Yeah, and then like putting on, oh, I'm like, okay, there's too much of that there. It was like, it was pretty fun to do it that way.

It felt like building something. How long? Five years. Five years. Put five, with a year off in there, which helped it a lot. And COVID and put it away and just did other stuff. But real intentional. And then like, hey, I'm taking a break for two weeks.

I can't I got a something else happened in my life and would you tour with it were you I toured everywhere yeah and I wanted to go to places that don't know Jews at all right because I got to make it work there but it was your fans coming out yeah but then also spots occasionally uh but then like Iceland like I don't know this reference Chicago yeah of course I know what this holiday is right so it's like Perth was like what uh so I got to make that for those people to laugh yeah yeah I've seen comics do it be too self-referential they talk about my first name, a star of someone in their movie. Right.

And I'm like, I don't know, what? Yeah, yeah. And so it's like, I didn't want to do that. I wanted it accessible. Yeah. And then I had to add in some extra Hebrew. So I would intentionally say, you know, the way the Latino comics will like say a punchline in Spanish. Yeah.

So I'm like, let me show my expertise by occasionally saying this word in Hebrew. Yeah. Or Yiddish or whatever so that they'll like, so you can trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Right. Yeah. And then cross-referencing. That was the other thing.

I've never done that. If I'm wrong in a bit, who gives a fuck? Yeah. But this is like the whole thing's out the window if I'm wrong about anything. Yeah. So rabbis, you'd be like, nope. And I'm like, show me the passage. And then I'm like, damn, you're right.

Oh, really? Yeah. That's when I found out Jews don't fuck through a sheet. Right. My friend told me, I was like, no way, you're wrong. But you kind of, the power of it, of that rumor was that you actually thought it was true. Yeah. And I'd be like, well, I can keep this bit, but only in that it fooled me.

Yeah, yeah. That's cool the rabbis would weigh in. Yeah, I had a rabbi in Denmark, I think, or maybe Sweden. And after he took all his students, he was looking forward-thinking rabbi, but religious. My closer was about Noah, and he had 40 kids, and the real hero there was his wife's pussy, how bottomed out it was. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And then I did this whole act out of like, these kids, could you even carry a term after like 35? They just come out and grab food and go back in.

And this rabbi is like, the whole thing was great. Just you know, Noah had two sons. and like too dog i'm like no and he goes i mean he goes i don't can't do the bit it's hilarious it's just not it's just not right and then i was like fuck it's my closer for like a year whoa terrible and then i'm like gone have to lose it terrible yeah yeah who else had a lot of babies yeah yeah oh i look bro i'm like does anyone have 40 babies like i don't think so i don't think it's possible like with the joke work about a rabbit yeah maybe i'll move it to a dog or something Yeah, it was an interesting way to do it.

And this was just the thing just found me of like, everybody chill the fuck out. Yeah, yeah. Was there, but back to the other one, was there a pride that when you put it out, like, that it was accepted? Like, did you feel like you did your people right? Yeah, but I was worried. So, like, you know, when you're like editing your special and then like, if you put it away for a month or now, it was like, let me do the last color correction. And then there's like, I just talked to Danny Brown about this too. He's about to put an album out.

Is it even good? Like you forget even. And then you're like played all the way through. Like, no, there's laughs early on. And this is great. Okay, I'm getting the laughs. Yeah. But you forget.

Yeah. So I was like, I think, I tried to make this respectful. Yeah. Every time there was like a Jewish like person in the audience, like keep an eye on them, the way you do with making a black joke. I want to make sure they're laughing. Yeah. And if I saw a woman with the wig and I'm doing bits about the wig, I'm doing it, but I'm glancing at her. And I make sure she's not like mad because I don't want to make them mad.

I want to include them. And they were, if you don't get it right, you got to tweak it. And if you do get it right, they're like, someone's speaking about my experience. Yeah, yeah. And so then it was like, I think it is. And then, yeah, I was glad. That's the result with people like, yeah, it's totally respectful. It would be nice if the new one has that same effect on people because it's a little more universal in just American culture of being at each other's throats for these.

and it's i don't mean to say that it's political but it's like the cultural beats of what's been happening a lot of it for sure it's not the only thing yeah no it's a lot of it but i'm hoping to get that was more like a bigger thing for a lot of people i want to yeah i want to reach one person and i'll consider that a success who is one person no in particular to like turn off the news forever yeah or for like 10 years just to just to get away from it go smell flowers and and appreciate it goes up in by the way i'm hoping i'm hoping to open your laughing the whole way while you get that message. Yeah.

How do you stay away from it when you have social media and you're not on your burner phone? I am constantly saying, do not recommend this channel, do not recommend this channel, do not recommend this channel. And it keeps hitting me. Well, how about ABC 7 from Tucson? And you're like, God, damn. Can you just put in no politics? Yeah, no news. Leave me the fuck alone.

Yeah. I'll have a fun news. Man shoots a cockroach at a bar in Wyoming. You know what I mean? Like, I'll let that in. Yeah. But I can't watch CNN or Fox or MSNBC. I see it.

I leave the room. If somebody was watching it, I'll leave. Right. We had it when we turned it off at a certain point when the kids were little. And we never had cable news on in the house again. Wow. And I get the New York Times and I'll read stuff and that kind of thing. And when I'm on the road, I would put it on.

Booker reviews are wonderful. But not having cable news on. in the house was such a, it kind of, it wasn't a big stance. We just kind of did it like, this is inappropriate for the kids to see, and it never went back to it. And it was a game changer in the house. Why would you want around your family images of war? Yeah.

Right. That's just like, I know what's happening, but I'm not looking at like traffic deaths. Yeah. You're not supposed to see all that. Exactly. You know, the worst is local news. Like your kids see what's happening down the street. It's just a horror.

That's a lot of it, too. Remember, so after COVID happened. Everyone got on Citizen app. Yeah. And then apparently every neighborhood in the world was a fucking war zone. Right. And you're like, I don't know that it just changed, but you guys are so into what's happening five blocks away. Yeah, I know.

There was a break in over there. I'm like, yeah, there's seven a year. Right. You're going to be fighting every one of them. I know. I'm so glad I never put that on. There was a show recently, and the character took out their phone and went to Citizen. I was like, oh, what a – I dodged a bullet with that one.

I could have seen my wife making us move five times because of that app. I was at a beach house with my friends and one of the comedian's wives. It just had a kid and was pregnant with another one. And she had an Apple Watch. Went off alert. There's been a school shooting not nearby somewhere. None of us got that because it wouldn't affect us. Wouldn't get us on there.

I'm not going to click on a school shooting in Kansas City. Right. But she's so focused on this. is the worst thing it can happen i have it can i have to protect them right sure so it's like what are you gonna be mad about let's suggest it to you right let's get you on here ohy and anxiety will do it and so it's like you're letting them yeah and there's no way around it it's so hard they're they're fucking yeah yeah they really know it were michigan engineering students that are trying to get you on there yeah right exactly and you're like i'll just go to black and white that'll help yeah oh it's brutal

doom so i don't know i gotta tuck my phone is that why you get all those new york yankee things on your phone. Yeah. It's like, all right, I know, I know that's fake. I can play pretend mad. It is, that is kind of the beauty of sports is that you can take all of that anxiety, anger, envy, all of the bad things and put it in something that's pretty much just make-believe entertainment.

Yeah, when you're mad or something like, are you really mad? You're like, no, but shut up. Stop, man. I'm playing a game. Let me get this out. Yeah. I'm playing a game. Stop.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to do a moral high ground because they're a Yankee fan versus Red Sox. Yeah, exactly. And all this back to normal. Well, once again, thank you so much for being here. Yeah, the specials are both so good. It's really nice to see me.

I mean, it's the way that a lot of the public that didn't see you on YouTube are going to digest it. You're going to have two of these pretty close to each other. Yeah. It'll be cool to see a new group of people see the Jew one. Yeah. This one obviously cool. But then that's like, let's see the second life of it. Yeah, it'd be interesting to see how many, like how that broke down six million people like where they were.

Because, you know, Netflix says that global reach. YouTube does too. But it'd be interesting to see like, yeah. It was cool to see on Jew the, because it's like crowdfunded now. That's like the way. Yeah. YouTube. People like, if you like, if you liked it, throw me a fucking duck it or a shekel.

Right. And so you see the different currencies coming in. Oh, wow. There's five Australian dollars. He's five US. I'm like, what is that? What is that symbol? Really?

And I write to them. And they're like, oh, that's that. Zimbabwe. Like, what? Whoa. Really? Yeah. Hell, that's so cool. Well, both definitely deserve to be, to have a far reach.

You did really good work on both of them. Thanks. And when you move, I'm going to come visit. We're going to have a spare bedroom just for that. Oh, that'd be perfect. Let's run around two spots one day. And then we'll get a way to walk 80 miles home because nothing's central. Right.

Yeah. All right. Thanks, sorry. We got it, Joe. Do you press record? Oh, shit. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-