Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 249 - Earthquake

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

This week on Breaking Bread we shake things up, Earthquake joins Tom Papa for a sit down. Ever wonder Quake's take on unqualified white men? Drones? Diddy? Well, Tom gets him to tell all. Earthquake also shares how his "hands off" travel routine has led to a better life. He's currently a recurring character on three series - "The Neighborhood," "Johnson," and "Everybody Still Hates Chris." He's also preparing for his new Netflix special and a new untitled project coming to network television. Enjoy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:59 Quake is at his prime 0:04:52 Insecurities and life purpose 0:07:40 Wild Grain Ad 0:08:40 Raising kids and letting them go 0:13:38 Touring is living 0:15:50 Stylists, meet me at the airport 0:21:29 Meal prepping and marriage 0:29:20 Non money making conversations 0:30:50 Diddy 0:32:20 Unqualified white men 0:37:24 Wild Grain Ad 0:39:02 TomPapa.com 0:40:26 Next 4 years 0:46:32 Nuclear weapons and military 0:52:06 Uncomfortable moment 0:55:12 Acting roles & opportunities 0:59:00 Social media & America 1:01:20 Siblings and start of career 1:07:53 Shooting special in Atlanta 1:13:00 QuakeHouse Sirius XM 1:14:30 Follow Earthquake ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/PAPA to start your subscription. #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread #earthquake #netflix Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years. With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises.

Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. There's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus.

It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From Binge All Episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa.

this is very exciting. We've got a great comedian coming on the program today. Earthquake. Earthquake has been in stand-up comedy for over 30 years and he had a special just last year

called Legendary on Netflix that really showed why he's great and it just exploded. It really woke everybody up to really rediscover or discover for the first time this great, great performer, great writer, great guy, earthquake. So good. So good. His special, it was, you know, you know, someone puts out a really good

special when comedians are coming up and going, did you see Earthquake? Man, was that good. He blew everybody away. He's so good. He's been on the road doing stand-up comedy, like I said, for a long time and he is just at his best and uh and it's going to be a great conversation and a funny conversation i can't wait to just throw topics at him because he's he's one of those guys there's certain comics that have an opinion about a strong opinion about everything like you could literally say what do you think of the sun and then he's going to do five minutes on it he's that kind of a comic mind. So great. I can't wait for you to listen to it. Go to tompapa.com. Everything is on tour. We've got the Grateful Bread Tour. We just announced all of our dates. And we are starting off in Seattle at the

Moore Theater in the beginning of February. And then we're going to the Chicago Theater in Chicago. We're doing the beacon in New York. Florida, San Francisco, Houston, Dallas. There's no place that we're not going. And this is Only through June. We're going to do the second leg of it. Well, that'll probably be announced in a couple of months. But right now, go to tompapa.com. And I hope to see you out there live with our new show. Very exciting.

It's a great name, the Grateful Bread Tour. It's a good name. You name things and then you don't realize what the reaction is going to be. And this is people think it's funny, which is great. The more concerning part is people are asking, will there be bread? Will I be showing up with bread? And the answer is no.

No, I don't think so. So you bring bread. You bring bread and give it to me. That's how this tour works. All right, enough of that. Here we go. Get ready. It's me and earthquake.

It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey! Don't you know? Hey, it's how we're going. It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey. Don't you know? Hey, it's also a show.

Hey! Can I say something right off the bat, Mr. Earthquake? You didn't call me quake. Thanks. You are, you've been doing comedy for, what, 30 years? Over 30 years. Over 30 years. 91.

93. Okay. And you are at your best. And I've, I've, always been a fan of yours. Thank you. But you are one of those people who

I don't mind that you didn't hit and blow up in the 90s because your essence, who you are, your attitude is meant for this version of you. This is the best version.

All that stuff was craft and accumulating your audience and great stuff. I'm not saying that. True. But this is Sinatra prime time. This is the voice,

the authority, the writing, earthquake, it's, I'd say this just as a fan. This is the best version of earthquake right now, and it's going to be exciting to see it

continue to pop. Well, you know, that's, I'm not just saying that because you're here. That's one of the best compliments I have ever received. And it's, thank you.

I really, yeah. And because, you know, you watch people, you watch musicians, and you watch, and certain people are supposed to be young and pop. Right. And other people, it just gets better and better and better. And it's just, when you came out in the Netflix special, I knew within two seconds, uh-oh, we've got a new level going on. Thank you.

It was just like, okay, yeah, now this is, this is a, I always said in comedy, like, if anyone ever said no to me, like when I was trying desperately early on to get on Letterman and they kept saying no. And I was like, it's all right. Because I'm just pulling that rubber band on the slingshot back. Right. And they say, no, I'm going to keep pulling it.

Right. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm still doing this. And when you do say yes, it'll just be that much stronger when I get to pop. That's a great metaphor. Right? No, that's a perfect metaphor. I said it to stop myself from crying.

But it is true. Whatever you need to tell yourself so you can go to sleep and continue on. Yeah, that's a great analysis that I think that a lot of comedians should take and that's able to deal with. Because you're really dealing with a people, a person, no matter who they are judging the talent, is their turner. It's their subjectiveness. You know what I mean? Who are you? Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you come off of this Mount Rushmore to go on? You know what I mean? Uh-huh. So, you know, instead of being angry with it and having that attitude, I think they should engulf what you said is just a pullback or bringing it back or fall and farther farther. And the impact is going to be even bigger when I let it go. Yeah, that's beautiful.

If you work at it, like you've got to keep the things, right? You got to like the craft, if you're really working on the craft and love writing jokes. Well, the best way to continue that is not to let the bitterness to. infuse. Yeah. You know what I mean? I've never seen in my 30 year a bitter comic make it.

Right. You know what I mean? That's right. Yeah. The bitter one. Yeah. Angry. The angry.

Yeah. You know, it's that person falling in. Holding me back. And it's me versus the man. You know, with the heel and the industry. I've never seen that comedian be funny.

No. You know what I mean? It's a thing, though. Like, just as probably any artist, it's like you are dealing with your own insecurities all the time. You know, we all know in our head why people don't like us. Yeah. Right. Oh, they don't like me because of XYZ. And you know, you got to like box those up and put them in the right place and get them out of your way. Or don't give a damn. That's, or yeah, or don't give a shit. That's who I am. And I wouldn't

put on this earth to meet up to your expectations. So that has always been my mantra. all my life that I was not put on this earth to meet up to your expectation. The only one is gods. How did you, where did that come from? My parents. Yeah. You know, really brothers and sisters and the rest of it. Yeah.

When you live in the inner city and you have come from a big family. Yeah. And everybody is judged according to your mother only. you have to really take a self-evaluation and be like, okay, what is my purpose? Who am I living for? Who expectations? And even if it comes to your parents, you have to really look at them too. With the same mentality, though you had me, you raised me, I'm still not put on this earth

to live up to your expectation or where it is. And I should never be able to disappoint you if I truly tell you if I'm living in what I I think it's right for me. Because God damn it, you never took my opinion about how you live. Right. You just said, listen. You're like, we're moving and this is your new father. You know what I'm saying?

I don't get to say. You don't get no vote. This is what we eat. Allergy to it or not. We don't know nothing about no allergies growing up. This is where she cooked. You was allergic to tomatoes. You just didn't eat that spaghetti.

I didn't order this. Yeah, you know what I said, bam. She cooked. That was it. You know what I mean? So once you get that, you know, it is what it is. It is. You know, so it's passed down to me, so I'm not living up to yours.

And I don't, I'll, and it's, to be honest with you, it's, it's reversible because I don't put those expectations to other people. I tell people in my life, um, whatever. You are, whatever you do it is not my, is not up to me to tell me you're wrong or right. I just want you to be who you are. Right. Then I'll make a judgment if I can deal with it or not. Right. You know what I mean?

If I call you again. Yeah. If I call you and deal with you again. You know what I mean? But I would never tell you this how you should be. Yeah. I would tell you the person you are doesn't fit for me. Right.

You know what I mean? This episode of Breaking Bread with Tompapa is brought to you by Wild Grain. Wild grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries, and pastas, and they sponsor this show. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wild Grains so you can begin building your own box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box, plus free croissants in every box. when you go to wildgrain.com slash papa to start your subscription. You heard me, free quassants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to

wildgrain.com slash papa. If you love this program, breaking bread, you're going to love this sponsor, wildgrain. Dot com slash papa, or you can use the promo code Papa at checkout. The hard part is, you have kids? Yes. That's the hard part. When you watch your kids, and it's hard to not tell them what to do. But your kids are very judgmental.

Well, yeah. You know what I'm saying? They're easy for telling you what you should have done for them. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like watching them, like I watch my kids and I want to just be like, you let them be and let them do their thing. But when you see them, you see something that needs adjustment.

thing, I can't keep my mouth shut. Well, I have a more animalistic mentality when it comes to my kids. Once you get to a certain age, I'll let you go in the jungle. Get off the pack. You know what I'm saying? You're going to go. If you get eight-bile wolf, come see me. It's about to do what your daddy did.

You have more options than better things than I did. The only reason why you're not striving is because it has to do with you. Right. And it had nothing to do with me. No, do I take the guilt from it? How old are they? I have, my oldest daughter is 37. I have one that's 29, I think, and one that's 23.

Okay, so you're ahead of me. Yes, I have, oh, and I'm not having any more. No, don't you dare. Oh, I went to the doctor, my son. self, my urologist, and put my leg in the stern of my damn self. I said, we'll fill the paperwork out later. Let's get this over with. Pass me with those scissors.

Let's go and get this over with. We're going to burn these balls today. Could you imagine? Could you imagine going back to the beginning? No. Oh, man, I, man. It would kill me. Not only if that, I just, I gave you that part of my life of raising kids.

Mm-hmm. Right. You understand? Yes. And this time in my life is for me. Right. You know what I mean? Uh-huh.

God bless everybody that feel their purpose was to live vicarious through their kids and share every day. I just don't share that. I'll hold up to my legal and more responsibility and then I let them out in the wool and go. Yeah. Seize the world. You great. Yeah. King, queen, you know.

Yeah. That type of thing. I was just writing that when I was noodling around with some jokes. And I said, the problem is people think because my kids are just, they're just going now. One is a person out in the world after college and the other one is in college. And, you know, we have a lot of friends that are in the same boat where the kids are just starting to leave. And they don't want them to go and it's crushing them and all that stuff. And I said, I realized a family, and I love family.

but a family is not a thing. It's an experience. Yes, it is. A thing, your refrigerator can last for 50 years. Right. This family is an experience that after 18, 20 years evolves into something else. That kid raising part is over. It's just over.

It was an experience. It wasn't something that you get to hold on to forever. No, do I want to. No. You know, it's face. In life, you know what I mean? I mean, you only have one of those. Right.

And I think the phases of life of being a parent has his favor, the favor of the life of doing this. But at some point, you have to jump in and be selfish and live life where the priority is you. And when I'm meaning about that, no, you come see me. I'm not coming to see you. Your father's going to be in Miami. You want to spend some time.

Come to Miami. You know what I mean? You get on me? So you, you, I just have a different mentality on that. And are they cool with it? Well, they have no choice. Yeah, like, but do they still like you? Sometimes.

You know what I mean? But they'll get over there too. You know what I mean? It's like most things are not appreciated until it's gone. So, you know, so be it. And how does it change? This is all questions just because you're going to plot out my next 10 years. as a comic

you go through those years when I always said I should be graded on a curve because I've got a house full of kids and I'm up all the time and it's insane and I'm still sitting on the laugh factory steps

at midnight and then they leave and now it's like oh wait I'm going back to the comic I was before I had kids right is touring become more fun

is it yes I mean touring for me I mean, it's living. Mm-hmm. I mean, I just couldn't imagine seeing the same person every day, five times a week. Over your cubicle.

Over your cubicle for 20 years. God damn it, Bob. What you doing, Quake? Yeah. You know what I mean? And we're sitting here making someone else dreams come to reality. Right. You know what I mean?

I am his worker to help him become what he wants to be. We're not collaborating or what we want to be. Now, if that's your purpose, then so be it. But certain people are uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. In other words, certain people need to know on the first, this is how much money is going to come in. when you're a comic on a 31st, you don't know what's coming in on the first. No idea.

It's the first. That deposit don't come in here from this club, boy, I'm going to need that whole five days, you know, for another deposit to pay the mortgage, the rent, and hold on things off of it. And I was always that guy. I need it. I need to move. I mean, I can't. Yeah. You know, I'm a Gemini.

So I get bored real quickly. So I need, you know, to be, you know, in Miami this weekend. Yeah. I'm a big shameful plug. And then next week I'm somewhere else. Right. You know, eating people, sit just constantly moving. Yeah, constantly changing.

Yeah, that's life. I know. I know. It really, I didn't realize that when I got into it because I was just got into it because I like being funny. Okay. And then I realized what, oh, no, this is the gig. Half of, more than half of this gig is packing, checking in, finding the lamp. See, that's the first thing you need to do. Right.

When you first get a raise on your stand-up, the first money you need to invest in is a stylist. Just for the pack, just for the point of packing your clothes and dropping it off at the airport. What? Yes. I pay my stylist to pack my clothes and then meet me at the airport with the bank. I had no idea how big earthquake was. You understand? No, I don't.

Yeah, so when I get there, all I'm going to do is show my ID, they catch it on there, and then there is. So they bring your bag to the airport? Bring my bag to the airport. Sometimes it's there before you are. Well, she has to be there. Is she traveling with you? Sometimes she did, but she didn't get that right, so I had the demote on it, so I'm trying to find somebody else on that. But I will get to the point as my career gets.

to the point. That's the next stage of it is her responsibility is to bring the bag to the hotel, fly in, put all my clothes up for that week. Wow. And then now they,

this is, and then look, I'm hugging myself. I'm nervous. I just wake up that next morning and fly home. She has to pack everything and take it back with her. You just walk out the door? Walk out the door. Beautiful. I'm doing it all wrong. You understand? It's a beautiful thing.

And it relieves you so much. Oh, my God. It leaves you of packing, first of all. Yeah. It relieves you of helping to get up and sit down and iron and get your clothes prepared. It already laid up for you. And you sit there and it just did a release. And it gets you to go straight to the airport and you just check.

She checks the bag in. She has the bag. I look at the show my ID to the baggage people, Skycap. So it's me. And then I start walking to. the gate. Oh my God. I didn't even know this was possible. Well, I came up with that myself. You did? This is an earthquake original? Yeah, yeah. Well, I just felt, I mean, it's just so much for us. You got three shows. You know it's a comic club. You get there. You do Friday,

Saturday and Sunday. That's three outfits. You need this and this. You got to pack all the stuff. And then it's just worth it. She packs it all, and she takes it back, no lifting bags, no nothing. So it's all done. Oh, my. So you're never waiting at baggage claim. No. You're never stuffing stuff in the bag. No. Oh, my God. I just go, I come straight to the airport, meet her.

She gives the bag to the skycap. Skycap, look at my ID because of 9-11 she came. You have to show it. Show the ID that it is me. That's my bag. And then I start walking to the gate. Oh, my God. And how did you get in sync?

Like how do you know that all the right stuff is going to be there? Well, she, my first, her first job was before I went into this part of it, because I couldn't afford the second part of it. The first part was she packed my stuff and just sent me pictures. And then from the pictures, I go in the bag and line all the stuff up with the wear. Right. So I got tired of that. So I said, I got tired of that.

I said, why don't you just bring you in the bag come? How about that? So you and the bag come. Oh, man, this is brilliant. And then she handles that and do the stuff off of it. Oh, my. That's what I do. Oh, man.

Because then you can bring a big bag, too. You can bet. Because you're not bringing anything. Yeah, well, I know it's on my bag is like she, when you get a certain prestige or level, your bags can go up to seven. pounds. But she's not there yet. She has a flu that month, so I have to do that. But once I get up to 70, then that'll be her bag, and then I don't even have to come near

that early. I just come near just in time to get on the plane. This last weekend, because I don't want to check a bag, I am taking my carry-on, which every year gets smaller, like the airplanes make the bag smaller. I don't know how y'all do that. And I had been putting three to five days worth of stuff in this one little bag. I don't know how you do it. Crammed in, wrinkled, shitty. It's anxiety.

Yes. And seeing you relax, you pass on, and see if you should, like I do I sell merchandise. So I use that money and sit down here and put the different things to subsidizing as you ask for more money. You reinvesting into your business, which happened to be you. Right. So you should always look at your business. Yeah. as a business, but it just happened to be you.

Right. So you reinvest into your business. It happened to be you. Oh, man. So I am. That's where I'm at. Wow. I think you're my hero.

I mean, your stand-up aside. This is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard. Yeah. You try it one time and it's like sitting in first class, you'll never go back to a economy. Never. You're just like, I just can't be back here. This is wrong.

I feel abused. You're right. I feel this is not where my mother wanted me to be. My God, my savior, my lord. Why have you forsaken me? Putting me back here. I must do something that I never go back here and wait on peanuts. Oh, my God.

That is amazing. Side note, I baked you this bread. Okay. This morning. All right. So you can bring that home. Okay. and enjoy it.

Thank you. Do you cook? No. Oh, I can't wait to hear who cooks for you. No, me and my fiancé get meal preps. Oh, nice. Are you trying to dial it in? Well, I am, but it's not working out right now because I'm finicky.

I just can't tell me I got to eat lasagna today. I make too much money. I don't want no goddamn designia today. You know what I'm saying? So she gets, we waste a lot of food. So we're trying to find out how we can get this to work. Who do, if it's not meal prep, who is making the food? My fiance.

Is she a good cook? Oh, she's a good cook. I'm her lab dog. And we found, after five years, we're getting it to go. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm her experience. She knows my taste. Have you been married before?

Yes. And I said I'd never get married again. again. And this Pasadena Pimp came in my life and chased my mentality. This what? Pasadena. She's from Pasadena. I call her a Pimp. She changed my whole point of view.

That's what Pimps did. It changed your whole point of view. The world looks different. Yeah, different. No, you want to be married? Yes, I do. I do want to share everything I had, what I had before. When someone took it before, being under me. Yeah.

That's why I know offense, and it's a joke, I know it would probably be too soon. People's like, what would happen if, you know, doing the housing if, you know, people are lost their houses? And I said, well, for a divorcee, we'd have been through this before. Just happened to the fire. Just happened overnight. Yeah, yeah. You understand? The only different is, at least that turned into ashes.

You don't get to see another dude live in it. With the woman. You know what I mean? Yeah. At least his ashes. There's not some stranger holding it. It burns down. Then another man living in it.

Holding my remote control. Holding your remote control. Calling your kids. Come on, son. So, you know, I know it's a little too soon, but. If I had the option on the way out. If I had my house burnt to the ground. We'd know just ashes.

Then another black man sitting on my couch that I paid for. to a woman that just was there, you know, that feels she deserved to have. So, yeah. You went through this once or twice? Oh, no, this is my second. This is my second. Okay, that's good. So you only went through one natural disaster.

Yeah, so I went through a, it was a natural disaster. I'll write down on first street downtown. And the judge gave her everything. So it was it. Yeah. How long were you married the first time around? Three years. That's just three years.

it took nine years to get a divorce. Whoa. Yeah. Why? I mean, she just didn't want to come to agreement. She had unrealistic expectation with her conversation. Nine years. Digging in.

Just digging in. You know, you know what I mean? There's a better way for Hamas and Israel to come to governor me and her. To come to a ceasefire. It was pretty, it was bad. Yeah. Well, this one will be better. Yes, I'm going to have a pre-nump this time.

Yeah, good idea. Oh, yeah, we would never ever get in front of a man, prefer, you know, usually a white man, telling how much of my money should be distributed among people that never wrote a joke. So we will not have it. It will be already, if this don't work, just what I feel, how much this failure should cost me.

We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen, and honestly, price. way more reasonably than you'd expect for that kind of quality.

It just makes everyday cooking feel a little more special. Quince has a really solid kitchen lineup. Their stainless steel and ceramic non-stick cookware performs like the kind you'd find in a professional kitchen. And their Japanese Damascus steel knives make prep feel way easier and more precise. I love having quince in my lineup. I've got these good ceramic frying pans and sauce pans. They're very cool.

they're good in your hand and they clean easy which is another very cool thing the best part everything at quince is priced way lower than you'd expect 50 to 80% less than similar brands go get it right now refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use head to quince dot com slash papa for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada too that's quince q i nc e dot com slash poppa P-A-P-A for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash Papa. I know somebody who went through it, and the pre-nup only lasts up until the point.

It was the stuff that they made before. It protects all of that. But going forward in California, it's still 50-50. No? No. You got a better pre-nup? Of course. Did I tell you

I don't pack my own clothes? Yeah, I told you. No, it's ironclad. I forgot that movie that my man was in. It's an ironclad. Pre-nuch one. My fiancé is the best. I'm 61.

And my pre-nump is good for 20 years. That makes me 80. By that time, I wouldn't know who she is anyway. They'll be wheeling you in some happy, happy gardens. Who is that? Get away from me. She's trying to get me. You know, so I have an old time as about that time.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. Good luck. But she's a good cook. That's a good thing. Oh, no. She's a great person. We've been together for five years, but 10-year dog years.

Nice. Because we start dating when COVID happens. So we just spent all the time together more than ever. not on the road. Does she come on the road with you? No, she's not built for that. Yeah. The best way you get your woman that never go on the road would take her on one of those five-day trips.

Yeah, in a smaller market. Five cities. Yeah, moving every day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, she chapped out at the second day. Sneezing, her allergy kicked in. We went from Chicago to Miami, you know, meat coat all the way down to linen.

Oh, she was done. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to go next time. Her immune system said, let's go home. So I had to fly her home. Now she only do spot dates. Now, let me ask you this. Back to the packing thing, which is the most amazing thing I've ever heard.

You have a five weekend run, a five city run. Do you, does the packet person... She goes under five days. She moves the luggage. You're still walking out the door. Walking out the door. Oh, my God. I wake up and go to the jet.

Light. Just light. I'm just like. I'm just likeering you walking. Just walking. Just walking. I waiting on no bags or nothing in the hotel, chilling. Yeah, so nice.

Then she'll hit me about three, four o'clock in the evening. I'll give her a key. I go eat, have lunch. Right. And she has set up everything. This is for Friday show. This is for Saturday show. This is for Sunday.

Lay everything out. And then Sunday night. You know, I'm checking in the other room, and she does everything, to pack everything, and she goes to where and I go home. Now, I don't want to put you in a weird position because you have a fiancé, but just in the abstract sense, who do you think is more valuable, a wife or this person who packs things for you? Well, it all depends on.

what day it is that Friday she's more than four than my wife right now Monday Tuesday yeah Monday Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday my woman is everything

Friday she's a distant third she's the clippers and my style is it's the Lakers Top of the heap you know what I mean so that's where it is is there any other way

I'm doing it wrong Um, it all depends. Let's see. I don't, another thing I only get to the show when it's my time to go on. You do? Yes. You walk in. Walk in.

Let my feature know that I'm here. He has five minutes to wrap it up. Uh-huh. And then I go on stage. That keeps all the sitting back of all the staff coming, talking to you, non-money-making conversations. You know. You keep the interaction to a minimum. You know what I mean?

You're in a bubble. You're in a bubble. And it also keeps people that you do know, they don't have much time to interact with it. Because soon you got, I would, man, but I got great. I won't. Right. Yeah. I'm going right on.

Yes. What happens after the show? I'm gone. You're gone. Before that, you just go walk right out the door. You're gone. That's pretty nice. Yes.

Yes. That's how I do it. That's why it keeps the interaction between you, the club manager, the staff, other comedians that want to meet you and talk to you and pick your brain. Right. Kill your energy. Yeah. I mean, because it's all for you. How were you when you were a young comic in that situation?

I didn't really know to. Yeah. I only, I never imposed. I waited until I was invited. Right. And that's the same thing with everything. I never go to anywhere that I'm not invited. So if you want me at your party, you have to invite me.

Diddy never invited me. Well, I knew he wouldn't mess with me. I'm a fat dude. He'll mess with a fat dude. A dude with a stomach ain't got a chance to get one of Diddy women. He was the guy that stuck to the meal prep. Yeah, I'm allergic to baby oil, so I'm eliminated. Why haven't we heard more of that yet?

What do you think? I think They're getting it all in order? Well, I think he really feels that if I had to be subjective, he didn't do anything wrong. So there's no reason to snitch until

he goes to court and being in court and the possibility he sees he has the real possibility of doing some time. Then he don't have his lawyer talk to the DA and say, hey, let's make a deal. Kind of like a law and

order. Right. Jack, can we talk? Stone, can we talk? Can we talk? What you got? Lay it on here. I got this and this and that and that. Yeah. That type of thing. Yeah. Oh, there's got to be a lot of nervous people out there.

Well, I mean, I always had this mentality. And, you know, reading the indictment, I have came to, you know, to the conclusion that, you know, the things that he's, you know, the things that he's, charged with, they could also got Hugh Heffnerful. And, you know, so certain people are prosecuted. Certain people are celebrated. You know what I mean? Interesting. You get what I'm saying?

Yeah. Certain people are prosecuted. Certain people are celebrated. Wait a minute, Mr. Earthquake. Are you telling me that there's different rules for different people? Yes, I have came to the conclusion. there's no such thing as an unqualified white man. Your pigmentation makes you qualify.

You don't need any other resume. No training. No, no, no, no screams. No, no. Cumulata, you don't need all of that. You're white. You come on in here. No tip programs.

No struggle. No struggles. No pull yourself from your bootstraps. None of that. Forget that bottom part of the ladder. You know what I mean? And nothing disqualifies a white man. Oh, we understand.

As long as it lines up with your all theology, you are good. Yeah, forget all of that. That was that great Bill Burb joke when he was saying, talking about, I don't, I think it might have been homeless or unsuccessful white guys or whatever. dude the system's made for you just get out there and mingle yeah just get out there and mingle yes exactly i refuse to give a homeless man some money and he white you blew your pigmentation it was all set up you got in the wrong line you're a disgrace to your race you're the only person with a hair start and sat down you're just sat down you sat down you sat down you sat down you sat down in the race.

All he has to do is keep moving. You just have to keep moving. You just get your head starting. He said, no, I'm going to sit right here. You had the last 200 yards to go. Yeah. Oh, he was right there at the tape. No.

No. This ain't fair. Keeping the white men down. You know? Oh, man. Yeah, it's deep. Yeah. Hugh Hefner.

But who's a modern Hugh Hefner? Could Hugh Hefner have been Hugh Hewhefner today? Yes. You think so? Yes. All right. That's he good. Now I know what I'm going to do.

Now I got a game plan for 2025. There's only one man could be Trump and that's a white man. Yeah. There is no other man, creature, woman could do what he did. Uh-huh. And his doing. And doing what he did. Now you don't hear nothing about the elections being rigged because he won.

Is that amazing? So it fixed. God came down and fixed the election. And everybody knows this government don't fix that quick. So whatever happened four years ago, it fixed by the grace of God. It just came down and it was no more with the election of nothing. You don't hear nobody challenging it enough. And then none of the states, it just fixed itself.

Didn't have to talk to an official. No, no official. No meetings. No meetings, no new diagram, no new machines. No, no. It all works. It all works. Oh, Lord.

It worked before he came. We had no problem. Then it broke. Then it fixed itself again. Only a white man's story. That's why we call it history. His story. His story.

You understand? It's remarkable. It is insane. I mean, it's brilliant. It's just brilliant. Out of nowhere, God came down. It just fixed all these. election bosses and all the seven states that didn't have no money for health care or

nothing but god damn it the elections is fixed January 6 was filled with love filled with love those people who are just sitting there they're hostages now police officers twitching 240 police but we love police and they're with it what it is and the jails are messed up Because white people are in them now. They're unlivable. Oh, Lord. They're living in bad conditions. Have you seen?

Have you seen these jails? Lord, have mercy. They're being treated so unfair. Do you see what they have to sleep on? You see what these conditions are these jails. We've got to get them out immediately. We've got to get them out immediately. Did you see the menu?

Did you see the men you do these good white men had to eat? You pee in the same place, you sleep. You pee when you sleep. You have no privacy. They give you a name and a number for God's sakes. Oh. This episode of Breaking Bread with Tom Pappas brought to by Wild Grain, the first bake from frozen subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries, and pastas.

Wild grains boxes are fully customizable to your taste and dietary restrictions in addition to their classic variety box. They recently launched a new gluten-free box and plant-based box that is 100% vegan. Great product. I have them in my freezer right now. You come in if you don't have time to do your own baking and you just want to throw some pasta on and you want a nice bread with it. I literally just go to the freezer, put it into the oven. 20 minutes later, boom, quality stuff right there. And sometimes I lie and say I made it myself.

Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wild Grain so you can begin building your own box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box, plus free croissants in every box. When you go to wildgrain.com slash Papa to start your first box. subscription. You heard me. Free quassants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash papa. That's wildgrain.com slash papa or use the promo code Papa, P-A-P-A at checkout. We believe in wild grain. I wouldn't be yapping about it if I didn't. It's a good product. You're going to like them. Check them out. Wildgrain.com. What are these next four years

going to feel like it's going to be exhausting. No, it's not. It's going to be, no, it's not, it's going to show the hypocrisy. Yeah. It's going to show the hypocrisy that some of us been saying for years is this play for now. You can't, we knew that it was never about the economy. And nobody say things are too high.

Yeah, right. All of a sudden, $8 for... It's an affordable game. Oh, that big it doesn't win down. You don't hear nothing to buy it. You get what I'm saying? You don't hear nothing about it. All the, it's starting to thrive. Oh, it's thriving.

Wait until January 20th. You don't hear nothing about the immigrant taking your job. No. White man ain't never lost his job. You have never went. I stayed in hotels and showed of you. You have never seen a white man as a housekeeper. No.

Never. Never. And you mean to tell me, and I say it to the day I die, that a man comes across a river with nothing on his back, comes in his country, can't speak no language, and able to take your job. And if he is able to take your job, you deserve to lose it. That means you was a terrible employee.

You did a horrible job. That means a person with a river, hire a transling. later and not be able to talk to his employee to give him signals and nod and say, yeah, see, see, see, then how are your English speaking? How bad? How bad an employee were you for your boss to go? You know what? I'm going with that guy. I'm going with that guy over there who I can't even talk to than the person I grew up with.

you understand I mean it's so insulting it's so insulting to sit here and look us in the face just say and I get it

I get it privilege is beautiful you know it's a equivalent it's a human nature beautiful women don't want to give up their privilege to a ugly chick you understand

if Lady Knight was just letting ugly chick's in. Beautiful chicks be mad as I don't know what. Hey, how that fat, ugly chick getting in there before me? I thought this was ladies' night. She's a lady. Well, she really ain't a lady. It's coming for beautiful, fine women. You know what I'm saying? So I get it. No one wants to give up their privilege. Just say it. Yeah. Just say it. But to throw down my face that is this, is that, the D-E-A, D-E-E-I. You understand? That's the new word for the N-word.

the same is the N-word. You want to get rid of the mayor for her handling of a natural disaster and she's the mayor but you elect another man who had,

during COVID that a million people there then and it was on his watch. But you brought him back but she needs to lose her job. So we, and not to be picturing, we, I have always, and I tell my kids

that so you have to understand the situation. Words have meaning. You're a minority. Living in a democratic society. So you need the majority to come together with you on your ideals for it to come to fruition.

And that's what you look for. And that's just it. And be able to swim among sharks. Right. And for four years, we're going to have to swim among sharks. Yeah. Because the sharks are feeling it. The sharks are puffed up. Of course. They

And what's so stupid more than anything? You really think a billionaire going to help your dolly ass. Yeah, I know. I know. That's what that's the, yeah. I'm looking forward to just watching it play out. And in three and a half years, say, how are you feeling now? How are you feeling now?

Yeah. This man has never, ever been through nothing you're going through. And you think he has the empathy to know what you're going through with your dollar ass. You're a dollar heir. Yeah. And he's a billionaire. He does not owe nothing. He doesn't even know how much baking costs.

He showed you all those things from grits, oatmeal, at his golf course. Where you couldn't afford it. It was $300,000 just to be a member. Talk about things are too high. Well, oatmeal was $25 for a bowl. And he had four years to take care of you already. And did nothing for it. Right.

But you, but. It's the comfortability of knowing somebody that looks like me. Right. Talks the way I want to talk. It's there. That's right. And I'm willing to put him there, even if it's against my own self-interest. Yeah.

That gives me the comfortability. Lyndon Big Johnson said it a long time ago, if you allow certain white people to believe that give them believe that they, that they have someone else that they can look down to, you can rob them all day long. You don't, I'm paraphrasing it off of it, but it is the truth. It makes them feel good about themselves to the point that, long as they have someone to put their finger or call somebody else's fault.

Yeah. Other than really is. And they're going to see. Even if your circumstance hasn't changed, even if your lifestyle, even if your circumstances has gotten worse. I'd rather be down here. Right. without, then to look up and see somebody that ain't like me there.

Yeah. And it's in the concert, give me liberty or give me death. I loaded nuclear weapons for nine years in the military. Right. And trust me, this country will blow this world up before they ever live under anybody else's rule. Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. You understand?

What does it mean exactly to load a nuclear weapon? Well, it let you know that my guard has enabled a man. to be able to destroy something. But like what is the physical part? Like what did you do? Like are you... Yeah, you... I put it on B-52s.

And what it is, is nuclear weapons are some of the safest versus conventional weapons. But it all depends on what type that you drop. You have certain nuclear weapons that can kill all the people.

Not to be dark, but don't destroy none of the buildings. and you can come back and live and have it in 45 days and that was over 30 years ago so God only know which I came up with now. Yeah, no kidding. You know what I'm saying?

I was 30 years ago. But the physical aspect of it is you just put it about, it's probably about one, two tons. You put it in the belly of the Bombay of B-52, put it in, do all the service check, and let it walk around. Jeez.

Did you know? Do you feel the gravity of what you were dealing with? Or is it kind of separate? No, the gravity. I always knew the gravity of even when I dropped one. I knew the gravity of what it is. What I mean you dropped one? Well, I was trying to go see two live crew, Luke.

You know, and I told them I wanted to go see Luke, and they wanted to make me work. So I didn't follow the checklist of putting it up because I was trying to see them holes. And I didn't put all the fittings in, like I said. supposed to, and I took the rack down too early, and it hit the ground. Poof. Oh, no.

Everybody ran. And I was like, what you're running for? This is a nuke. It's going to take out the whole state of Louisiana. You can't out run a nuke. And the base commander came. They waked up. The president said, we had a broken arrow.

And that was the whole thing. A broken arrow? Yeah, that's a broken arrow. They call it when... That's what it's called. A broken arrow when a nuclear weapon is discharged of only fending fire on the United States. It's called a broken arrow. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Why aren't you in prison? Well, because I'm smart. How'd you get out of it? I grabbed my checklist and I marked all the check that I followed the procedure so it has to be something wrong with. I did my job. So it didn't have nothing to do with me. So the worst thing you can do is like, we won't let you load no more.

And they put me, they put me on the snack bar. That's good. But it didn't hurt my feelings. One thing about the military is just, though we fight communism, they preach it. Right. The E5 who sells donuts get the same money as an E5 who load nuclear weapons. So it didn't hurt my feelings. The check didn't shame.

How was a two-life crew? I didn't go. I didn't get to go because they took immediately, they took me to debrief. Then they took me to the fernary, to draw blood to see where I was in. on any kind of narcotics or drugs. And my sergeant came back and said, we ain't find nothing in his blood but incompetence. He had a lot of that running through his brains.

You're at the snack bar eating a donut. Yeah, eating the bono. I told you, man. That's a true story. Was it a good experience being in the military? It was the best thing ever happened in my life because I'm from Washington, D.C. and it's very segregated. Right.

And what the military did for me allowed me to come to the conclusion that the world is huge and we have more in common than we have separate. And I met some of the best people in my life in the military. I had a white dude who was my roommate named Tom and I didn't want to live with him because he was from Alabama and he put that stole in his mouth. And I went to my first son and said,

man, I can't live with this white boy. You got to get me out and say, no, you need to stay in it. and me and Tom became best of friends. And Tom ate more fried chicken than any black man ever. I like Tom. Yeah, Tom ate a 20-piece bucket of Kentucky fried chicken by himself. I said, Tom, you put every black man to shank.

He said, have you tasted taste the biscuit quake? I'm saying, yes, I taste the biscuit. I like Tom. Tom ate, I mean, he ate a bucket of chicken of Kentucky fried chicken. Just put it in the refrigerator, eight, five, eight, nine pieces come back, warmed up. I said, Tom, they're not going to run out of chicken. It's named Kentucky Fried. There's more out there.

He ate the cold slaw and biscuits with the mashed potatoes and gravy. And Tom just ate it all up. And I was like, Tom, you're my man, Dawn. Are you still friends? No, I haven't talked to Tom for years. Yeah. He probably shows up a lot of your shows, but doesn't have a chance to talk to you because you go walking by. He'd probably got out of cholesterol.

He'd know all that. Cholesterol probably was two thousand. He had a heart attack at 30. He had a heart attack at 30. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Okay. Where we do a little research on our guests and try and find things out that maybe other people don't know about you. And sometimes they're uncomfortable sometimes they're not.

You have an extensive military background. You loaded up nuclear weapons. And as you said, it's an important part of your life. And people are out there trying to figure out this drone situation in New Jersey. You have all these mystery drones and everybody's freaking out. And we have photographic evidence of you controlling those drones. Oh, man. Who snitched?

All these snitches, man. You know, I was looking for seeing who was working on the corner. So I don't indulge in that anymore. At least the least need to know. It's the working girls. So it wasn't a mess with people. No, no. You just want to see who's doing business.

Still see what the ladies are nice still being protected. You know, I fly out there for protection. Make sure that Charles don't take advantage of them. Do you think that that's just paranoia? Like, do you think that's people, or do you think it's military stuff? You've been on both sides? Both worlds, I should say. I think there's both, to be quite honest, where I think it is on that point.

And it could be different foreign agents or just texting our abilities. What people don't understand and being in the military, we do exercises. But exercises never as good as the real thing, because you never know how people are going to personally react. Like in Afghanistan, we withdrawed and we paid so much money to train the Afghans against the Taliban

as soon as we left, they dropped their weapons that we gave and ran. You know what I'm saying? We like the Taliban. Yeah, we like we weren't scared of it. So, you know, they didn't have their John Wayne. They didn't have, you know, nobody. You know, McCarthy

and all the great generals and stuff like that. So, you know, It's an exercise. You never know how people are going to react when the actually, quote, unquote, real bullet start flying. Right. So you think they're probably out there poking around trying things out. They're poking around and see how it is and rest of it. And then there's other side people buy their own drones like, I ain't going to say, but a friend of mine flew his drums around here.

And he in trouble now during the fire party. He just wanted to see how close the fires was to his house. And he flew where he wasn't. supposed to fly? Yeah, it flew. It ain't supposed to fly. Oh, no. He left town.

He's hanging on a drone. He jumped on the drones and said, let me get out of here. Because he turned on the TV. They said, we're looking for the person who been drying these all off of those drones. I called to me. I said, where are you at? The airport. I said, what you're doing?

Leaving. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, he left him. You've gotten a lot of cool acting roles recently. Yes. Which is good to see. You were in Jerry's, Jerry put you in Pop-Tarts. Yes, he did. Which was very cool to see.

Yes. And it seems... That's the sign fell. Yeah. It seems like after the... Is it from the outside, it looks like Netflix hit. All that. And people were like, oh, yeah.

Earthquick. Yes. Dave gave me, if not, the biggest break opportunity in my career. Yeah. You look for it's an opportunity. What I tell people all the time will separate all comedians is an opportunity and they cashed in on it. Right. Which opens up more opportunities.

Right. You know what I mean? So, you know, you can't, you, you know, since you're dealing with something, that's objective. Yeah. You just have to make the right person laugh. And then they'll open up the opportunity to allow you to do more things. Right. And that's what it is.

And how did you, did you have a long relationship with Chappelle or did he just, just, kind of re, did you guys like cross paths again or? No, he just called me up and he was really like, I should have did this a long time ago. Oh, wow. He told me on that point on it. And he opened that door up before me for the rest of him to see me. And it's been sweet ever since.

And matter of fact, we're about to do it again this year. Oh, nice. Yeah. But again, back to Tom Papa's philosophy. I think he got you at the right time. Yes. Because he was explosive. Yes.

It was boom. Yeah. And you would have been powerful before. Yeah, but no, what you're saying is so true. I mean, it is. I have blown other opportunities before because I was trying to perfect. It's then just doing me. Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Definitely. And my number one goal with that special was just this is me. Yeah. whatever comes from it.

Yeah. But this is earthquake. That's what it is. You see what I'm saying? It felt authentic. It felt authentic. If nothing else, I wasn't trying to please anyone. I wasn't trying to hit a target or, you know.

Yeah, right. Exactly. Make these people happy. And this and this. No, this is what I do. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly.

And let it speak for itself. And it was the best decision now. And what you're saying just, it's bringing. That's the maturity of so many of before. coming to the point like, listen, just let it speak, let who you are speak for itself, and we'll be happy whatever the outcome come from it. Yeah. And we were.

It's an amazing thing, how important it is to just really just have blinders on and just be concerned with you and what you do. Exactly. It happened to me early on, like, when I first started working in New York at the cellar, in the beginning, it was like, that guy's great, that guy's great. I have to be like that. I should be like, ah. And it wasn't until I just stopped watching everybody.

Right. And stop giving a shit about anything else but this. That's when it goes. That's why I don't watch other comedians. I just, I just, I mean, because I don't physically write. I mentally write. Right. So I have to keep my thought pattern and cure.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it doesn't get contaminated. Right. And come up with something. And I think I came up with it, but I really heard it from over here. So the way to put a defense of shear or bury it from that happening, I keep my exposure of listening to other comedians to a minimum.

That's good. Yeah. Do you get it on social media? No, I really... Your social media is very funny. I always love when you pop up. Yes. Because you're always some...

Whatever's going on, you have a really good way of just summing it up. You know, like, if it's news stuff that I'm not even like, I don't want to go down that rabbit hole. if I see you, I know I'm going to get a 30 second, this is all it's about and go about your day. Yeah, I mean, I feel, you know, and like I said, the military has done this for me. That is, we have more in common, and it's more good people than it is bad. And soon or later, the good people are going to galvanize together and say,

it's not going to happen. I think we have to go through this to come to this. Yeah. I think you're going to me. I think you're right. I mean, just watching L.A. during this, they have too many good people trying to help. Right. It's like too much is being donated.

Too many people are showing. People are standing in lines just to try and help out in any way. There's an incredible amount of love. Yes. The humanity has to come back. And what I tell, especially the people that runs our country, I mean, our country. Rome was great one time, too, now. Yeah, it's not a lock.

It ain't a lock. You're not entitled. You can go around here and feel that you're entitled. Yeah, and it's going to last forever no matter what you do. No matter what you do or how you treat or your bombastic and your arrogance. Yep, and turning people on each other. Exactly. You understand?

That's the worst part of it. For me, that's the worst part. Of course. Turning American against American, that beating that, beating that, beating that drum repeatedly makes me nauseous. Well, it should. And soon because I hate to break it to them. You know you have enemies outside of America.

Yeah, right, exactly. Who does love when you don't get along. Of course. And then you're going to come to your Latinos and you're black. Come on, how our country. Like, no. Let's see how we feel living under the Chinese rule. Come on in here, Bruce Lee.

We never got off TikTok. Yeah, we never got off TikTok. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's how it is. Yeah. We'll get through it.

Yeah. You, how many siblings did you have? I have three brothers, one sister. Three brothers, one sister. Yes. When we're tight. Yeah. All of us are tight.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we're very tight. That's good. Was your mom a good cook? Yes, because we was hungry. Right. She wasn't once I started tasting other people food. Yeah.

What have I been eating? I looked at my mom and said, he wasn't good. Is anyone else funny in the family? All my brothers are funnier than I am. They are. Yeah, they just don't know how to put the jokes together. And I would never teach them. Why do you think you figured it out?

See, this was no epiphany. This was just the best decision that day. I just tried it and nothing better came along. I never had a desire to be a comedian. I just tried it out. Is it in Atlanta? It really was military Atlanta. Okay.

Really got into it hard in Atlanta. But it was really, you know, I was dating this chick and she was watching this comedian. And I mean, she was all under the table laughing. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ah, ah. I'll say, if you want to sleep with him, just say you want to sleep with it. Don't sit here, like, oh, that's funny. She was like, what you mean? I'll say, that's funny, but that ain't the funniest thing I've ever heard.

So you'd be all under the table and pulling your panties down. So she said, well, you do better than that. And then I said, well, I might not do better than that, but I can do it. I can do that. I can do that. Yeah. And I tried it. Tried it where?

I tried it in this club and it was called Henry's. And I went up and thanked for her. She did stay with me and let me rehearse. And we laughed and we went and I did well. So I was like, okay, I'll do that. So I stayed in the military at the time. And then the war broke out. Desert Storm and I was like, man, I don't mind practicing for war, but y'all fighting for real.

It's time for me to get out. I got to stay at home to get shot at. So you retired? No, I got out. I had nine years in at that time. I had a girlfriend. She was like, don't nobody get out the military. I had to be in there nine years.

You only got 11 more to go. I said, listen to your foolish ass. Eleven more. Staying on 11 more They're tired of me And I'm tired of them I'm gonna do something She said what you're gonna do

I said I don't know what I'm gonna do I know what I'm not gonna do Yeah I'm not gonna stay here And she was like You already got a kid You got a car note You didn't go to none of the GI Bill

Take advantage And none of the college or not What are you going to do? I said Well I'm gonna do What every What every other Uneducated dude

who has a kid with a car. Find a job. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive, they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got.

Sign up for free at rbc trainingground.ca. What options do I have? So I went to Atlanta. Because I didn't want to go back to D.C. After being put out the military, not getting out the military, that's just make me get into illegal pharmaceuticals. So I went to Atlanta, and that was the time Atlanta was Atlanta, because they had on CNN.

Best place for the jobs for black men is Atlanta. I'm going. Never been there before. When I went up there, it was heavenly. It was, ugh. And so I started trying to do comedy. That's where I met Krista Petter, with the punch line and stuff like that.

Right. And none of them would let me get on their stage. And so I just got together with some other people and got my own comedy club. Right. And then I opened my own comedy club and none of the, they boycott it, you know, back in the day. Right. You work this club. You can't work my club.

So none of the comics would work my club. So it was a blessing. You know. They said, I had to do all the time. Right. So I just did a meeting two and three hours. Oh, really? Off the top of the head.

Oh, man. And then I got Steve Harvey to come. He wants to say, I come work a club for you. I met him. Oh, nice. Why I was in the military. And he came and did it, and they came to see him. Wow.

And they discovered me in the rest of his history. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow. So that's how you. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. So when they came to see Steve, they discovered me and they discovered the club. Wow. What year is this? This was 92. This is 92. Yes.

And we did like nine shows. He sold them all out. And then that's when it really knocked on me how much money was in comedy because we wrote him a check for like $70,000. I said, you can get this kind of money? Telling jokes. I said, oh, my mom. God, I ain't going nowhere. So he was still doing clubs at that time.

Wow. Was he a powerhouse in the club? I mean, because... Steve was one of the funniest guys I ever met in my life. He was just seeing how he put it together. He taught me how to put jokes together by learning from him and how to do radio. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's impressive when you... when if you have the opportunity like for guys who really blow up uh to see that like if you ever do like a charity thing and you see them roll back to a club they're they're almost bigger than the building yeah you know what i mean yes like you go back to like where you started like i mean it's going to be they're just you they're successful for a reason yeah yeah the power yeah it is and it's um it was it was at that particular point i never knew that's I'm just back up. That's the resident.

I'm shooting my special now in Atlanta because it was the birthplace of my career. Oh, that's great. I did D.C. because that's the birthplace of my home when I came in the world. Right. But Atlanta, always, all Atlanta. So that's why my second was there. And I took it as a, none of y'all won't work in my club. And I never knew that was the best thing ever happened to me because I was doing shows,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every week. Yeah. I mean, two hours. night just off the dome and it gave me a skill that I'm still eating off of right now. Yeah. That I don't have to go into a comedy club to formulate my jokes. I can do it in my head and they're ready. Right.

As soon as I step on stage, I don't have to test them. So you just bring them into your big show. Just get them in your head. Get them in my head. Right. I know how it is. Right. Yeah.

How do I want to say it? So you never go back to the club and try shit out? Well, I use what I do is I do. comedy clubs but I don't go like over my I don't perform just regular night if I'm not on the bill right you know what I mean I don't yeah you don't just pop in to try stuff out that kind of thing right I can if I'm booked in punchline I can say I want to let me work on this work on this right getting paid at the same time right right I mean very few comedians can get paid why working out the material at the same time and it still doesn't affect their bottom line.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And the clubs, you still have people who maybe don't know you coming. So it's like it's not like it's that safe of a space. Right. You know what I mean? Like sometimes. Well, when you're dealing with black people, it's not safe period.

That's right. They don't pay their money. They don't give a damn. You know what I mean? They're saying, now, I put my money. I pay my $40. Make me laugh. Bring it.

And bring it. And you don't have time to work stuff in. So you have to bring that in, take that out, bring it in. Is your audience predominantly black? Not no more. You still mostly. Yeah. It's still a mix now?

Yeah, it's about 6040. 6040? Yeah. That's good. Yeah, it's grown. And that's more have to do with the special. Right. With the special.

Are you going to do? How long are you going to do on the next one? Probably about 45 minutes. Okay, good. I don't need it. I don't need. You blew everybody's mind. When you just came out with the perfect set and it was just this is the time of it.

Yeah. It was, what was it, like 35? 38. 38. Yeah. And people were like, wait a minute, you could do that. I didn't have to put in 20 minutes of mediocre stuff to get to an hour. Well, I believe in quantity or quantity.

It was dense. Yeah. I mean. It was. Because it was... I mean, because a lot of people stretch it out, and like I tell them, man, where's the jokes? Yeah.

If I elongate all the way to get to the punchline, I could do five hours. Right. I don't... I'm bored with it. You know what I mean? Let's get to the... Yeah, the meat of it. Boom.

Let's go. Right. Let's go. Not a wasted word. And not only that, that minimized the chance of you being booed. When you have longaded jokes and that punch line don't hit. in the black audience. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

So the best way to eliminate that possibility is give them, you know. Don't let them breathe. Don't let them breathe. And be a cold, but just keep striking them, ah. Bitch you again, bitch you again, bitch you again, bitch you again, I'm going to keep biting you. And that way, you got ADA and they don't hear, they can jump right back into it. Yeah. Anywhere, if they come in late, they can pick up the show right there, you know.

You know, they're on their phone, they can pick right back in. You don't need to be in there with the whole introduction in a long time. Yeah. Do you use your own openers? Yes. His name is Bishop, ex-football player. I used to play with the Jets. Oh, yeah?

I give opportunities to young, funny comedians, and I rotate them out a lot just to keep me shot. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You bring a hungry young comic that's very funny. That lets you in them all. subconsciously, you know, you have to bring it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. It's terrible when you see a headline that can't follow it. It's opening. You know what I'm saying? People are like, hey, you should have closed. You know, they'd be whispering that to them. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You're better than him. I came to see him. Yeah. You should have, you know. Yeah. And that's an ex-club on them. We used to deal with that a lot. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And then, you know, you know, switch them up. Oh, God. You got to have that conversation. Listen, let me talk to you, man. I'm going to go ahead and let you go first. The money ain't going to change.

You're going to get the same money. Less time? Less time. But just go ahead and let him. You know what I mean? Your radio is still going? Yes, we should be back on. We're in hiatus right now.

We should be back on next week. I love doing radio. It's a great thing. And how often you do that? Three days a week. Oh, good. Yes, Quake House on Sirius X-M, Kevin Lons, Kevin Hart's Laugh-out Radio. Yeah, and you do that in the studio here?

Yeah, I do it at Kevin Hart's studio. He has a studio in Kanaga Park. Oh, nice. Yeah, we shoots all the stuff with the cold balls and all the things that he does. Wow, that's great. Yeah. I haven't seen Kevin in a beat. I guess I saw him during the Netflix.

Oh, you see every day on TV, the commercial. No, I mean, the version where I can. Say hello. Yeah. Yeah, he's a busy man. And we can mock each other. I told, yeah, I told Kevin leave some money, man. You don't just have all of it.

It's true. Just leave one. Can I get one, my brother? I mean. You can't have Tamin LeBron every five minutes? Can I have just a bread commercial? Yeah, what are he doing, Ken? I don't know who taking on the girl, him or Snoop Dog.

But between the two of them of them, they ain't leaving a black man. Nothing. They have all of television. Kevin. Snoop Dog. Kevin. Snoop Dog. Kevin.

Snoop Dog. Kevin. Snoot dog. Like, God damn. Yeah. Leave us alone. Can we get one? God damn.

No. I'm happy for him. How can people follow your tour? Follow me on Instagram at the Real Earthquake. It's on all social media platforms. You can also hear me. from one to three on Sir's XM

Monday through Friday. Channel 96 off of the air. You will also see another special for me and hopefully I will be on TV this year. Do we know when that one's coming out? Well, we're going to film it probably late April, May, and it will be aired this year.

Right. Oh, this year. Yes. I have the material. You know, you as a comedian. You have the material what you want. Now they've just got to put it together, lay it. You know, like

you put the reps and mix it up and then lay it, how it's going to go. Then it'd be ready. Just turn the cameras on. I can't wait. You know what I mean? Just turn the cameras on. Exactly. That's all it is. Yeah, that's how the last one fell. Yeah. Just turn the cameras. And if you haven't watched it, if you're listening and haven't seen the Netflix one, well, first of all,

what's wrong with you? But second of all, go watch it. Legendary. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Well, this is amazing. Take the bread home.

Let me know how you like it. Okay. And this would be much better than your meal prep. Put in the toaster, get a little butter on it. Okay. I think you'll be happy. I think so, too. You're right.

I will. Thanks for being here. Well, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure. Yeah. It's a honor to have you. Likewise. Likewise.

We're having me here. We got it.