Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 251 - Joe Gatto

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

This week on Breaking Bread it's an Italian love affair - the hilarious Joe Gatto joins us! The words spumoni, cannoli, and biscotti are said often - but those are actually just the names of Joe's many dogs. These two peas in a pod talk all about their shared interests: desserts, Italian families, and comedy. They bonded so much they will soon collaborate on a short film. Tom's wife is not allowed to listen to this episode, if you're not Tom's wife, please enjoy! Check out Joe Gatto! Joe Gatto's new comedy special Messing With People is out now on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQghA0123NA  Joe's podcast Two Cool Moms with co-host Steve Byrne just kicked off its 2nd season via iHeartMedia: https://sacksco.com/pr/joe_gatto_073024.html  Joe's tour: https://punchup.live/joegatto#tour Gatto Pups and Friends: https://gattopupsandfriends.com/  Joe's first ever children's book Where's Bearry? is out now via Penguin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:36 Welcome & bread 0:03:34 Joe's new special & filming at The Paramount  0:05:50 Joe's Mother being a mom to all the Jokers 0:08:29 Cooking and ordering for the family 0:10:35 Going to Vegas for Thanksgiving with mom 0:11:55 Flying into Newark on 9/11 0:13:20 Meeting Impractical Jokers Joe on the street 0:16:44 Gatto's Pups And Friends - Senior dog rescue 0:24:23 Uncomfortable moment 0:25:40 Finding names for all the dogs 0:26:05 Adoption and getting the word out 0:29:30 Fearlessness and childhood effecting comedy 0:33:40 Kids futures 0:34:40 Marriage reconciliation 0:39:25 Christmas cooking 0:41:00 Going vegan 0:46:00 Baking bread 0:46:36 Desserts 0:48:17 Touring 0:48:47 Charity event in Pittsburgh and singing Circle of Life 0:50:41 Being a filmmaker, action comedy 0:52:56 Tom & Joe are making a short film together 0:54:57 Reach of Impractical Jokers 0:59:00 Going to Alaska and performing in all 50 states 1:00:00 Getting back together 1:01:40 Being the worst first date guy and anniversaries 1:05:45 The short is turning into a feature 1:06:44 Goodbyes: Gatto Pups And Friends and Tour ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread #joegatto #impracticaljokers #dogs #rescue #rescuedog #italian Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Today we have Joe Gatto from impractical jokers, from stand-up comedy from his house which could really be called Dog Island. This man lives with 14 dogs. I know.

Don't judge him. Too many. Don't judge him. It's not too many. It's way too many. It's 14 dogs. He says that well he actually doesn't say it's got to smell kind of weird. I think he would admit it. But, you know, he has, I have two dogs, and it's a real pain in the ass

because I don't know why this is, but my wife seems to think, and maybe I can use this podcast to correct this behavior, she thinks we have to walk them around the neighborhood two or three times a day. We have a yard. You have a great yard. I've been there. So we can just put him in the yard. That's what he never walks his dogs. He's got 14 of them.

He doesn't own one leash. Smart. It's really smart. Like, I would get a bunch of dogs if I didn't have to walk them. It's the walking. You've got to walk around town and carry this thing. I don't get it. Ugh.

Why do you think my wife doesn't want me to just let him out back? Because she doesn't want poo and pee back there. Oh. Well, there is anyway. Why? I guess there'd be more. Oh, from them. I don't know.

You're not going back there, are you? This is the deep insight you get from an interview with Joe God. He's just really, really funny. He's just pure fun. And he's out on tour. He has a new special called Messing with People that is out now on YouTube. Very funny.

Recorded in Long Island at the Paramount Theater, which is one of my favorite places. And he's just a... He's in a really good place, and this interview is really fun. The only bad part, I think, was... He took him a while to realize I actually baked him the bread.

I was like, here's a bread, and he made some joke. And I'm like, no, it's the bread. And he made another joke. And I was like, all right, touch it. It's warm. I think the bread's so perfect that throws some people. You got aggressive. It was uncomfortable.

Well, some people, it looks like it's like an artwork. Like, we have fake garlic on the set and that kind of stuff. I guess it's not that big a leap to think you would have a fake bread. But who would do that? No, not you. No, this podcast has integrity. And it's fun. And he's fun.

So let's get to it. Enjoy my conversation with Joe Gato. It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey. Don't you know? Hey. It's how we go. Hey.

It's time for breaking bread with Papa. Hey. Don't you know. Hey. It's also a show. Hey. Nice to see. Thanks for being here.

Thank you for having. I baked you some bread. just minutes ago. I love that. It looks piping fresh. It is. Yeah. Look, here's your bag.

Oh. I know you're not believing me. I'm not believing you. Touch it. It should be warm. Oh, my goodness, it is. Yeah, it's still warm. Oh, so I get a bag?

It's to go? Well, you're not going to eat it now. Okay. Yeah. God, you really are fat. You really changed. I mean, you really changed. Stop eating.

No, I baked it for you. Amazing. Thank you so much. And you get to bring it home. That's so good. Your special is very funny. I saw it this morning. Okay.

And you shot it in Huntington. Huntington, the Paramount. Yeah, I'm a Long Island guy. That's such a great place. I love that place. Yeah, really fun there. That's such a good spot. When I started that tour a couple years before, we taped it, I actually, it was the first

theater I played because I was doing comedy clubs, you know, because I knew where to stand-ups, I was trying to figure out that. And then that was like the first theater. Right. I played, and it was great. I did like five nights there, and it was so fun. So good. Oh, you must sell that place out quickly.

Yeah. They like their Long Island boy. Yeah. Oh, that's good. nice crowd. I got a couple bricks from them. Yeah. Yeah, that's so great to give you a little brick. They send you the bricks, yeah. My wife said, it feels like a brick.

Yeah. It was a brick. Oh, good. They didn't give you that nice. You had to bring it on like a carry on. No, they tried. And the actual bricks are like two and three years old because I'm not bringing them. And it took them that long to send. But if you sell out, they give you a brick with the date on it. Yeah, and the stuff. And then they also give you a fun box. Right. And the box is like a yo-yo, a deck of cards, some candy. It's like awesome. They're great guys there.

And it's such a weird place. Like you think it's just the theater. And then you start, they walk you around. You're like, this is a speak-easy. Yeah, like attached thing. Yeah, it's, I think they torture prisoners over in this lane. It's like, this is where we set the bed, people that don't laugh. Yeah, but it's a big music venue too out there.

They do a lot of shows too, which is really cool. Yeah, very cool. They still need a good hotel in that town, though. Yes, they do. Yeah, they're missing that. I saw before Billy Joel did his residency at the Garden. So, you know, a long time ago, my sister's a huge Billy Joel fan, and he did a run there to test his show. Whoa.

So he did like a 13-night thing, and I grabbed one, and I saw him in there, and it was unreal. It was like one of the coolest concerts I ever been. Like, I like, I like Billy Joel, but my sister's like a diehard fan. And she listened to him growing up and stuff. And I was like, oh, I'll go. And I was like, wow. It was like, unlike any concert at ever seen. Oh, my God.

It must have been so. Yeah. Packed out. Oh, my God. That's cool. So then you must have felt like pretty big deal when you did your stuff. special there. You're like, it's me and Billy.

He's doing the garden. He has his 150th sold-out show. I'm like, I got four bricks. Right, exactly. Cherished mementos. Cheers, friend. Is your mom still alive? Dead.

She's dead. Yeah. Dad, too. Sorry about that. You didn't do it. But because just because in the special, I'm actually, I wouldn't say relieved that she's dead. Yeah, it's good. It's good.

She got my charges. She sounded pretty intense. She sounded pretty scary. Yeah, my mom, my mom was definitely like, you know, spitfire, no bullshit kind of woman. She was like totally, yes, Sicilian. She always carried herself more than five feet tall. Like, she was always just like the light. Like my parents always said I was the mix of my parents comedically because my mom was,

walked in the room all I was on her, pulling a china shop, make everybody laugh. Right. Tap dance kind of high, you know, my father was just like. like loved embarrassment comedy, silent assassin, sat in the corner, said something just loud enough that you'd hear it. Then everybody started, you just start laughing, everybody looked at you. What do you laugh at now? He goes, I don't know, like that kind of thing.

Right, yeah, that is the perfect combo of you. He was like, that was so I really got both of them. But my mom, like, I really just, I had my mom. My mom died, she saw us a Joker. She was there for the first season. First season. Yeah, and then she passed away just after the, we launched the second season. And she was very much.

Was she young? She was, yeah, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was 64? Four. Wow. Yeah. Overnight. Overnight. What happened?

Middle of the night. They don't, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't cut her open. They wanted, they were like, you know, we're like, we're like, we're just gone. My sisters were like, there was no reason to. It was actually, I think she was just trying to get out of taking me to dinner for my birthday. Because it was two years for my birthday. That night we were supposed to go to dinner. And I was, no.

Yeah. So then I had this reservation. But she, uh, no, but she was always like really tight. She was like the mom of the guys, like, she was our. Yeah. We used to practice improv in her basement. Oh, really? So she used to, like, make an excuse to be downstairs, like, doing laundry to hear something, I hear her laughing and stuff.

That's so great. So she was really tight with all of us and stuff, which is cool. But she was, like, growing up, she was the mom of the neighborhood. There's always an extra plate, one of those kind of. Yeah. Was she a good cook? Yeah. You know, I think everybody thinks her mom's a good cook.

Yeah. And it's so funny because after my dad passed away, so my dad passed away when I was 19, and she became a widow of 54, which is real young, you know? It's really young. She was, like, at home. Like when he went, like she just was like, I don't, she started going out and eat a lot because she was at home, you know? Yeah. And then I had moved back home. My sister was there for a minute to my older sister.

And we were all together. And she was like, oh, I'll cook. Like, we'll order my wife. And that actually made me learn how to cook. I started cooking for the family and stuff. But she lost it like real quick. And she didn't care anymore. Like she was like, for Thanksgiving.

She was like, oh, no, we're just. Yeah. Yeah. She did it. Yeah. She did it a whole bunch of years. Yeah. And that's it.

When you, would she advise you as you were starting to cook for the family? No, no. I would never either make them enough or made way too much. Right. I could wrap my head around that. Yeah, no, I don't think an Italian can. No, I think you always make so much more. There's always, that's nothing worse than Italian.

So much more. Yeah, don't forget it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Even order that way. Like when my wife and our kids are now away, and it's like, we'll postmates and we're still like getting for them, my kids and their friends.

Four appetizes six entrees. That should be good for us, right? We want to taste it all, don't we? Should we get the skewers, too? Yeah, I'm totally that way, you know. Do you find that you're the guy when you go out to eat with friends that you order for the table? That's like always the way I've been. Yeah.

I'll take care of for the table kind of thing. And I, because I want that in my life. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to say like, okay, we're ordering sushi tonight. Yeah. And then everybody gives their thing and that I don't want to, I don't want to say. Who's got the temporia? I want you to walk in and go, I ordered sushi. It'll be here in 20 minutes.

Thank God. I don't like any place where I got to make my. own salad. I got to include my ingredients. If I'm picking a topping amount. No, I don't want any of that. This is your job. This is why I'm paying you. Yeah, I'm off tonight. That's like me coming over and say, chew this for me. I'm going to eat it. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I don't, I don't like it. Yeah, just order it up. I feel like to make your own has gotten way out of control. Like, it started with, like, I remember like Chipotle being one of the first ones. It was like, okay, what do you want your burrito? Yeah. But now, like, you can make your own whatever the

hell do you want. I know. And when you got to take it off the board when you can't see. And they're just like next and you're like adjust the door's still closing. I don't know your system. All of a sudden there's a line behind you. Like you don't know. Yeah, there's so many options. I hate that. And you just, oh, you just, I don't, whatever. And they're like, why did you get saracha on pasta? I don't know. I just wanted it to be over. I saw both options. I read in order. Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted it to end. Some of those boards feel like a beautiful mind. It's just flown out there. You're like, this might be good. Yeah. Of course. So you started cooking and your mom just never came back, even during the holidays.

She outsourceded my sisters. I have two older sisters So we started going out to there Once they started having the kids You know, she dodged that bullet for a little bit I remember once I was living in L.A. So in O3 I moved out here Chasing the Dream to be a filmmaker

I was working at Nordstrom at the Grove And my mom My sisters both had their in-laws With Thanksgiving and she didn't want to hang out with them She's like, what do you do? And I said, well, I said I can't come home I have to work at Nordstrom's on the 20th She said, you know what?

I'll meet you, we'll go And she's like, let's go to Vegas So me and my mother went to Vegas And had a turkey buffet Like that's amazing. Yeah, at seizures. It was unbelievable. And I was like, wow, times have really changed.

Like at the buffet, which is really funny. Yeah. It's unusual for her to let go like that. Yeah, I think she was really, she was great. And I think I got this from her to roll, the kind of roll with the punches, you know, like throw stuff out you. You just got to get up and keep fighting kind of thing.

Yeah. And she was like, always a smile on her face no matter what was happening. Like, it was unreal. Yeah. And infectious, you know. And I think that people took that from her. And I try to do that too.

Like, I think that's kind of. the thing about why I love comedy so much. It's just, you know, because the world is terrible. And like, we need to raise the laugh. How much of it do you think? Because I always credit that to my grandmother's, is the kind of description of your mom. And, yeah, and both of them were just like, you know,

through the depression and wars and all this stuff. And they're just like, it's a great day. What are we doing today? Right. Is it? Yeah. And you're like, oh, okay. This is a quick story.

on 9-11, I was flying out of Newark. And I got there and the second plane hit. Like, you know, right in Newark, you can see across at the trade centers. And we saw the whole thing. It was just a, and I couldn't get back into the city. My wife was in the city. I couldn't get back in. So I went to my grandmothers by the Meta-Lands.

And it's the whole, on the way up, we saw the buildings come down in the dust and all the horror. and we pulled up to my grandmothers, and she was like, Tommy! And I was like, Nana, and she's like, oh, I'm so glad you're here! And I went inside, and I sat down, I'm watching on her little TV, and she comes in and watching all of the stuff,

and she says, okay, I have to go play bridge with my lady friends. I'm like, what? What? She goes, oh, you're sad. Here, have a half of my tune. a sandwich. I'm only going to eat half. I'll be back in an hour. And she just left. That's amazing. And it was like, she is not sweating this at all. She's like, yeah, another one of these. There we go. Another thing I got to deal with in my years. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they were just built different. So different. Yeah. And how much do you credit, back to my question, how much do you credit your outlook? Because you're very positive and you even express it in your special. And how much is

hardwired from your family that way that you can just kind of turn it and how much was learned from these elders? I think a little bit, I probably like 80, 20. I think I came in pretty heavy. Yeah. I think that last 20 I was like I had to work through and get some stuff. I really think the comedy turned selfish for me where it was in the beginning like you wanted to be, you know, but then you get addicted to that feeling of being that person for people. So I heard early on with Joker's like, you know, the fan base is crazy. You know, we've got a very very, very, very, very. very loving fan base and true TV is played mostly in prisons and hospitals. So the people are having a tough time, you know?

Yeah. So I feel like, and instantly there's a thing where I'm Joe from TV and now I'm out of the little box and I'm in front of you and I'm still just Joe. So it wasn't, I was in a character, you know? Yeah, yeah. So I think that translation of like, oh, he understands. He's been in my house. He understands all this terrible stuff I went through, you know?

Like, I get people come to like meet greets or whatever. After I meet people on the street and they'll just be like, I have cancer. and they get like that not even hello and it's like oh hey how are you yeah like you have that there's that shorthand with the fandom that's like they get it like they they've been through all this stuff which is yeah which is weird i tell a story about how i i was here in l-a i had a rental car got a flat on the 405 one in the morning horn i sit there and i'm like oh no all right so i call up the rental company they send a tow truck the guy gets out tatted up all do right he walks over the rain just stopped and i'm standing i got a hat on he comes out and he goes joe and i was like

maybe. And he's like, I just got out of prison three months ago. I was in for five years. You got me through it. Can I have a hug? And I'm just hugging this guy on the side of the 405. And then he fixed my tire and he was gone. Like, he was just crazy.

But I was like, you don't really get that if you're like Tom Selleck. You're like Magnum P.I. Like, you know, it's like a different thing. So it's interesting. But then I was like, it started to feel like a badge of honor kind of, you know, to be like. So now my shows when I do these things, it's like I want to make this event. You know, I'm not, I don't like, make fun of the crowd.

I'm not like political. I'm not, any of that, I'm just like, hey, let's get out, forget all the stuff on the outside, laugh together in here, and that has become like a motivator for me, I think, as an entertainer to it. Isn't it interesting? Like, in the early days of comedy, like when you start, people kind of express in a little bit, in a little ways, you know, what you do for people or that kind of thing. And when you're young, you're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, it's corny. And then after you've been through it and you actually hug these people, you realize, is man, no, I should embrace this.

And also the stuff you go through yourself, right? Like, you know, you have a rough go at it for a while. Like I turn to comedy and, you know, music and stuff. And then you realize these little things. Yeah. And then you see the perspective of like, oh, I turn to this. This made me feel better. I'm like, oh, and you're like, oh, I'm not for somebody.

So you get it from both ends. Yeah. As somebody who's outreaching who needs help and healing. And then somebody who helps to help people get through some stuff. So it's interesting. It's a really interesting thing that, and I think it's part of like being a father and getting older. Like you don't think about that stuff at all.

you know, but as you get older and you think about these things you've done, it's like, oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, and it's good because then you don't have to work in charity. Yeah, that's the worst part, you know? The charitable, you can just be, you're like, we're going to do it a 5K for these people, and you're like, I kind of did a show last night. I do 5Ks of laughter. I keep my charity strickland of dogs.

I'm all about dogs, right? Oh, yeah. What's got up with the dogs? You've so many dogs. Yeah, ghetto pups and friends. It's my, it's my nonprofit. at a senior dog rescue out on Long Island. Senior dog rescue.

And was that the book when we last spoke? The dog father, my love of, yeah, dogs desserts and grown up Italian. Right. It really was like, just for me, it was like, check, check, check. Yeah, it's good. So since then, I mean, that was just a COVID project. I had done. I like photography.

I took some pictures of my dogs and told the stories of the rescue. But since then, my wife and I, two years ago, she basically started the charity. and, you know, we started with all these senior dogs. And we just adopted out our 160th dog out on Long Island, which is great, yeah. 160th dog. Now, these are all senior dogs. Yes. What constitutes a senior dog and not a late teen dog?

Less teeth, tongue hanging out, probably less eyeballs, you know, like kind of. They're more jacked up they are, the more a ghetto pup than anything. So it's pure profiling. Your profile. You're like, you look like, shit. You ain't going to find a home. Come with me. Thanks, man.

you know. It's the Westminster dog show right now. Yeah, well, it's not at my house. It's the Eastminster. It's the other side of the tracks. Just oddities and... Yeah, it's like, it's like Ripley's. Like, believe it or not, these dogs.

So great. Yeah, but we have, I have 12 dogs that are mine. In your house. Yeah, that are 12 dogs. Who else is in this house? I have my wife, my two kids. I have a nine-year-old daughter, seven-year-old son, and then my in-laws love with us as well.

And your in-laws? Yes. And do any of these other huge... human beings have a problem. Yeah, they're all checked up. You should see my mother-in-law. Your mother-in-out. Do any of them say

ever, like, maybe four less dogs, Joe? The father's had enough. He's had enough, yeah. He's super sweet. I love him. He's a great guy. He loves his daughter very much, but at points, you just hear him go, oh. There he's very much like, oh.

And he, like, he has a pretty thick you know, um, they're from Lebanon, you know, he's, and he said they're a very thick, like,

when he yells at the dogs, like, get down, get down, get down, get down, get down. He like repeats. He, like, he sees the gates that are open. You're allowed to yell?

Yeah, he's like, now I can get out some frustrations. Yeah. Now, but these dogs that are in your house, they're not going anywhere. Or those are ours. Yeah. Yeah.

And they're all named after the Italian. 14. Yeah. Yeah, 13. Yeah. 13. How many of them are wearing pants? Yeah, so they don't pee.

One. Mocha. Everyone else has behaved. Yeah, they're all pretty potty trained. I have two. I have a black lab and a pug. And the pug has to wear a diaper because he'll pee. If it's off and it's mostly out of spite.

It's mostly... You're not petting me enough. You're paying too much attention to you. Yeah, you're leaving or there's a cat here. I didn't sanction that. We'll let this in. Which is actually kind of weird because he loves eating out of the litter box. Really?

It's like his buffet. That's so good. Yeah. That's his... She's a palace at Thanksgiving. It really is. Yeah. Eat some turkey sandwiches.

I can't believe out of 14, you only have one. Yeah, only one. We're getting close to maybe one more need it. Because these dogs, most of them we got when they were young. So I have, our first dog was canoli, and canoli we purchased. Right.

And then we realized how effed up the whole puppy mill thing was. Right. And then we got Biscotti, who was my favorite, don't tell the other ones. Right. But what's the Biscotti?

They know. Biscotti is like a Havannies. Little white one. Oh, I love Havanes. So beautiful. So, so loving. But we got rescued. Yeah, and she was almost up.

Couldn't go near her. She needed attack and stuff. And then this 24 hours in, I'm just watching TV. And she curled up and fell asleep on my lap. And that was it. That was it. Yeah, just attached. It was great.

So we have those, and those are our two oldest of our dogs, and they're like 11 now. So those dogs normally live to about 15. But they still have everything together with them. And then we got a bunch of other ones. None of them are really big, though. I mean, our biggest one is Struffla. Her name is Struffla. And she was this Bahama dog.

We got it from the Bahamas, maybe 55 pounds. When's the last time you brought one into the house? I just kept one. She did. Yeah, we just kept one a little while ago, chestnut. Brought one into the house. It was yesterday. Bessie picked up another one.

Oh, really? Yeah, because the sanctuary is in my home. So they are downstairs. Oh, the sanctuary's in your home. Yeah, so they live in a home so we could, you know, get them used to people. We have people that come through and volunteer and help. Wow. And then they'll be accustomed.

They're easy to adopt out because they're accustomed to being in a house, you know. Right. So, but my last one, we had this, we had this bunch of dogs. We called them the Panera Pack because we met a lady. He met a lady in a Panera parking lot in East Rockaway. And she had like these puppies and the dad was just not. And they were a bunch of chihuahuas, which I normally don't really like chihuahuas. They're kind of angry sometimes.

But he hated me when the dogs were around. Then all his kids got adopted. We sent him out to home and he needed some eye surgery that people couldn't afford it. And they were like, you know, we can't keep this dog. We took him back. We did the eye surgery for him. And then he just loved me. He just fell asleep like on my foot.

And I was like, oh, he's just like, it's comfortable here. Let's just see if it works out. And he's just like part of the pack now. So he's our latest edition. Man, oh, man. How big is your heart? I mean, I think I'm a nice person. I try and, I try and, you know.

That's what the word on the streets is too, Tom. I want you to know that. People are saying that. People do say that. But when I'm alone with these two dogs, something switches. Like when they pee on the comforter or they bark for the 50th time, I lose patience.

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You're not. You're not. It's the dogs. I blame them, yeah. Oh, it's the dogs. Are you good at training the dogs? Like I said, it really is like a pack thing. Like, Biscotti is like the leader. Right. And I have one dog, her name, his name is Napoleon. He's a German shepherd and a corgi mix.

So it's like somebody left the German shepherd in the dryer. Like he's like just like a thick black, like a head. He's got very much. Yes, so he doesn't have short legs, but he's like a German shepherd tiny. Oh, wow. But he's like a herding dog. Like, he'll move them up and down the stairs.

Time to go outside. He'll grab them all they go outside. Really? So the two of them really do most of it. I think it'll be really interesting when I don't have them anymore what it's going to turn into. Wow.

Because they do a lot of the work. It's just natural. It's like, we're going outside. And he was like, we're like, get them all, they'll just go outside. You don't have to walk them. No, we have a...

You open the back. Yeah, back door. That's good. run them. I wouldn't be able to walk that. Walking dogs is that. That's the worst. It's a terrible thing. I lived in Manhattan with two of them. So I'm just, Canola and Biscotti. We were living in the city. And that is the worst. It's a nightmare.

No, terrible. It's, uh, they say, well, you just have to get in the mindset that this is their walk. And they're smelling things that you don't smell. And this is their time to go out and do it. And you're like, you know, I have a career. I can't, I can't be out here for an hour and a half. Yeah. As they're smelling, putting their face in all the pee. Every one of it, yeah. Yeah. When my wife and I, we had separated for a minute and I got an apartment.

And I took Spamoni and Biscotti with me, my two dogs because I was like, I'm not living by myself. Yeah. I mean, I need, my house was so lonely. It was all depressive. I got to do something. So I bring them with me. And now where I'm on the third floor of this building with an elevator to go down and they have to like go pee. Yeah.

It's like five in the morning. And I'm like, they're like, oh, so we have like, like, here we go. And I was like, there's nothing more motivated to like try to find a house than living with two dogs. in January trying to go outside. Yeah, it was like such a different thing. Whenever we think about going back, because we're from New Jersey and we live in New York forever,

and whenever we think about like, should we go back? And then you just look at the dogs and you're like, there's no way. I'm taking this giant black lab and putting it in a New York apartment. Yeah, yeah. It needs its own apartment.

Yeah, someone's gonna kill someone. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Okay. And you share a lot. You open up a lot of ballot, a lot of things. And I think that's what I like about you. I think that's what most of your fans like about you.

But we also sometimes uncover things that maybe you're trying to keep hidden. And this is, I can, from our research department, this is not Photoshop. It's real. Do you want to explain this picture? This is, oh, I was good. It looks like you in a New York apartment with cats. Cats. It's my home, this is my home nest.

camera. You guys are clearly hacked a nanny can. This is clearly so, really. So are you telling me the dog thing is just a front? All right, I'll come clean. I'll come clean, Papa. Okay. I hate dogs. You heard it here first. I knew it. I knew it.

Hates dog. All those cats. That's so funny. That kind of looks like, so on the cover of my book, the dog father, right? The cover of my book is a photo of me sitting at the table with all the dogs. And three of the dogs, that's a real picture with three of the dogs. Three of them stayed. Oh, really?

The rest of them, we had, like, Photoshop in. But, like, Napoleon kept jumping down, so I had literally somebody laying on the floor holding him. And we had to Photoshop their arm out, like, to get out. Oh, there is. It's great. Could you imagine, yeah, what foods are left to name your dog? Do you have, like, when you're... We moved into, we moved into nuts, so we had chestnut.

We went, we, even for a minute, we dipped into, like, we dipped into the candies. Uh-huh. We have one of the newest ones. Toroni? Yeah, we did, uh, we did a, we started with really strong, and then I didn't realize how many they needed help. And then we just kind of like swivel down. We got in the coffees, you know.

Yeah, yeah. But for the most part, it's a food for the most part. But then during seasonal, like, we have a couple people that help us with the rescue. And during like this, they do seasonal names, you know, we got like a pumpkin spice. You know, like that kind of stuff that happens. Because you know, they're not sticking around. Yeah, they're not. Yeah.

We had a Kit Kat for a minute during Halloween, you know, things like that. So is it a healthy adoption thing at this point? Like people seek you out? Yeah. That's really great. Yeah. I think they seek us out, which is nice because a little. A lot of people, as they get older, too, like an older dog is nice for older people as well.

Right. You know, responsibility, they basically nap, get pets, wear a diaper, you know, so it's not really that big a thing. And they're not going to be around that long, unfortunately, but they get a good run at the end. So, yeah, it's a nice mix. I'm still trying to get the word out a lot. A lot of it is, you know, people being aware of these dogs, which is the main thing, especially seniors aren't the easiest to adopt out. But it's still, I'm very much enjoying it. That's so great.

Yeah. And when, so you've got to be pretty special people to adopt at the end of their life, too. Yes. Because there's going to be vet bills and a bunch of stuff. Yeah. But they're just nice people. Well, there's some we know too that aren't going to make it. You know, some of them already.

We call that like a phospis, a foster hospice situation. So we send them out there and then we'll cover the bills for people too as they happen for the last couple months. We've done that and stuff. I hope you don't find, I hope this next comment doesn't offend you. but I'm not going to let my wife listen to this podcast. Oh, she listens? Every once in a while, she listens, and she'll be like, I'm just listening to you flirting.

I'm like, all right, all right. It's, you know, making the guests feel comfortable. But, uh, no, people, yeah, people. My wife would, yeah. I get a lot of people that don't let me talk to their wives who were thinking about adopting a dog. And they're like, see, he has 12 and he's fine. I'm wondering if maybe two is the, is too few.

I, for me, honestly, I'm going to be honest with you. When we had four, four was great. Because then it's the pack. It's two and two. If one's getting along, I think it's very nice. You get two beds, two cutters. Like four was a great. We had four for a long time.

Once we started the adoption thing, it blew up and we ended up a lot more. But I think for a while, we had four. And four for me was a really nice number. That does sound like a nice number. Especially if they're small. Like, if you don't know, I'm not running around with a full greyhouse. No, I know. This black lab is like a whole number.

horse. Yeah, so if you break it down, I mean, you probably have the same amount of dogs as me. That's true. Stack together in a sort of like Voltron thing will make your dog. Definitely what I'm carrying around the neighborhood in a plastic bag weighs more than probably four of your dogs. I feel so bad because this black lab like really just goes like a man and you got to like scoop it up. Two hand or sometimes. Oh, it's really horrible. And then the pug does his thing, like all proud. And I have to sometimes like get a bunch of leaves and rocks around it just so he thinks like, oh, good job, Frank.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to feel inadequate. Yeah. When you were talking about your parents kind of gave you these both comedy sides of you, I've done a little man on the street stuff for like the Tonight Show and those kind of things. And you had a fearlessness out in the field that is only hardwired. It seems like it comes from your father.

Did you ever have, I know you've been asked this. But did you ever, like, it never seemed like you hesitated, even like from season one. It was just like you had a fearlessness. Were you that way as a kid? Yeah, well, I was very awkward as a child, as a boy. I was very nerdy, geeky, you know, kind of thing. It's funny because I actually break this down.

My new hour, let's get into what it's called, is because I always was obsessed with the way, like, how I became who I am, because I look back. I have kids now, right? So you look at your kids, I'm going to be like, I wonder what they were like when they grow up. You know, what they were like? And I know my parents were looking at me,

being like, oh, I wonder what he's going to be like when he'd grow. And I never would have been able to pick this, I don't think. Because I was like super geeky, super nerdy, you know, and I get this story. And I never really talked about much about my father as much as I did my mother. And in this new hour, I was like, you know what I want to share some of that part of my life, you know? So I talked about when my dad about like how I used to make tests for him. Like I would open up the encyclopedia. He'd come home to like a pop quiz from his only son instead of like playing football.

He's like, can you please just be a real boy, Pinocchio? So, like, it was like a big thing for me, like to look at all, all that stuff. and I think my father, so I was always like kind of socially awkward and I don't think I cared, right? So like when you talk to you. No, it didn't bother me. So like when I talked to people, I was like, oh, you know, they're the weird one or I wasn't afraid of being weird. And comedy didn't come to me to later. I wasn't like until a junior in high school when I was really like, I used it as like an anti-bullying mechanism.

And I found making people laugh was fun. And then when I got to college, the social aspect of it all really came through. Yeah. My father passed away when I was going into college, second year. college. So when that happened, you know, part of it is a coping mechanism, of course. Sure. And then, you know, being a leader for the family, making everything sure everything's okay. Yeah. Your mom, the whole thing. So I think it all just came to where it was like, oh, I don't care what people think. And I, you know, when people say that there's two motivations,

one people, you're an asshole and you don't care what people think, right? It's like, I don't care people think. Right. And the other one is like, I don't care of people think because you grew up or you were just accustomed to being your own self and maybe not being looked at as somebody who was odd or weird, but not had feeling that impact. You weren't picked on as a little kid, like elementary and stuff? Not elementary, no, no. That's good. Yeah, it was mostly high school.

Yeah. I think, yeah, I think that probably, right? Because like, yeah. Yeah, so we'd have a little bit later in life when you're still able to have, you're able to have a little bit more rationale and understanding around it. Yeah. When a little kid, most of the time, I see that and I'm like, oh, these poor kids, they don't even understand it's happening at why it's happening.

No, I know. That's rough. Yeah. So I think part of it was, like, I just was never embarrassed. And also, that's how it was made people laugh. You know, embarrassment comedy is literally how I make all my friends left. Like, I wouldn't want to be in elevators or subways with me. They were trapped with me.

You know, that kind of stuff. I knew I was going to make it weird. I didn't care. I would stand too close. I would talk with an accent for no reason, you know. They would hate to, I tell us the real time. I go shopping with Sal. And we'd walk into a store and I'd like, excuse me, baby.

And I would like pants. And the guy would be like, what? And he's like, oh, yeah, pants are over here. And it sounds like, like, oh, hi. And they're like, oh, where's he from me? Like, Staten Island. You know? Like, just I would just have fun just to make people, I wouldn't care and I would just do that kind of thing.

You know, as long as I wasn't hurting anybody, I'd always make myself look like the fool. Yeah, yeah. And doing those bits in real life, most of the time would they come around to, oh, they wouldn't. No. They would just be like, oh, that was just a weird dude. I would sell it, yeah, and try to not try to. If they did, I feel like I failed. Oh, really?

That's honestly one of my, we talked about this one with, like, one of the, you talk about, like, fame and being noticed and all that stuff. I feel like that's gotten robbed from me. Right. Because then people, when I'm doing something, then people recognize me. It's like, I was like, oh, this is really, I was enjoying it. My friends are, you know,

but then it's like when you do it now, it's like, oh, Joe, you know, it's like, yeah. You're going to do really well in your 80s. Yeah, I'm going to crush you. Yeah. When people don't recognize you anymore, and you're just like a little guy with a fishing hat, you're going to be like, I'm back.

Now, here I am. I'm back in it. I did it. Give me this dog. Yeah. It's fun. You know, I really, I just enjoy it. You know, I just enjoy that part of just, like, being awkward and, you know, a lot of people just so...

I'll find myself doing it by myself and not even, like, caring. Like, you know, if somebody, if I'm in the grocery store and somebody's looking at grapes, like, I'll just grab the same grapes as them as they go to grab it. And I'm going to grab it. And it's for nobody but me, you know, it's just... I don't know. I'm just weird. Yeah, that is weird. That is weird. I was going to say, that goes over the line. A little bit weird.

I follow them home. It sounds like your son has a little of it. My son does. My son is very much a little bit like me in the fact that he loves to laugh. He loves to, he's not afraid of that part of it, but he's super, like, introvert and doesn't want anybody to know, but you.

Right. You know, we're in a supermarket. He puts up, he's laughing at a cart. It's got a pineapple in it. He's laughing. I go, what's up, buddy? He goes, the cart. He goes to the pineapple.

I said what? He goes, I put it there. And he starts hysterical laughing. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is so funny. You know, so, like, he'll do stuff like that, but he won't like, if people start laughing at around him, he thinks he's getting laughed at. So he's still trying to get that part of him around it.

He's seven. Yeah, yeah. So he's still like trying to figure that out. My daughter is a complete opposite, though. She's limelight gives me jokes for the people. Oh, really? Yeah, she loves that kind of stuff. Yeah, she wants to be a DJ.

Like, she's really, really fun. Oh, really? That's her thing. She's like, wants to be a DJ. I don't know where. That's amazing. She loves music, but I think she's self-aware enough to know that she doesn't have a good singing voice. So she's like, I can be a DJ.

I can play other people's music. And you and your wife, you're cool now. We're back now, yeah. You're back. Yeah, we're back. We've been back for a couple years. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was great.

How did you fix that? A lot of analyzation. Yeah. A lot of change. On your own or both? Yeah. Yeah, I went to therapy for a little bit, but a lot of it was just like a lot of honest conversation stuff.

And then also just, just realizing I was, you know, you could always be a better person. Sometimes a big shakeup is what you need, you know. It's like a lot of just things going on. and she missed having, her kids having a father, and I wasn't being like the, you know, like that's, I think it's a big thing. It was like a partner kind of thing. Like, you know, it's like when you're on the road.

Like you come home and you're like, oh, I have a day off, but you don't. Like, that's your day home. Yeah. And you have to be that now that's your role now. And for me, it was like very different. And, you know, it was hard to figure. The touring and the show.

The touring, the show. Like I was, you know, it's so much. Yeah. The edits, the, you know, 31 episodes of television. Yeah. Filming it and then being on the road. And just all of it. And just honestly ignoring what was going on at home

and just being like, look, I'm out here, you know, thinking, giving your family what they need. Right, you think you're providing. Yeah, in reality, you're stealing from that what you want. I tell the story about my daughter right before, it was like right before COVID. She goes, I came home, she was five years old, and I come home from, I was just been on tour.

I think we just finished one of our cruises or something. I came home, and she's like, Daddy, she's like, oh, I love when you come to visit. And like, that's hysterical and so painful at the same time. I was like, oh, my God, I'm doing something really wrong here. Yeah. So that was kind of like a little bit of a wake-up call. I tried to stutter step, I didn't do enough.

And then it just hit a breaking point. And it was like, okay, what are we doing here? But she's only five? She was five. Yeah, yeah. She's nine now. She's nine now. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah, it's tricky because there's no other way to get. Now you're in a sweet spot where you can call your shots and not worry and help the family and do all this stuff and create your own. But not at that time. Well, I mean, I'm there. It's funny to look at the, you know, be there for the important stuff what you thought was like to be at her recital or to be like, that stuff, but it's not. It's like to drive them to school in the morning to do their homework with them to be there for family dinner. Like all that stuff is like, oh wow. And then you're like,

I'm so glad it was early enough along that I just missed that much. Yeah. Like it's, it's such a, you know, you could really just beat yourself up so much about it because you're like, I missed this much. Wouldn't about an idiot, but like it also, that's all you missed, you know, so it's kind of, it's kind of hard. But that part of it is like my favorite part now. Like my daughter tells me about, you know, a crush he has or my son is like, tells me about his day or I get him a pep talk and I help him with his homework. And like it's just different. You know, it's just that we don't have those opportunities when you're.

No. It's a, yeah, the kids, I kind of felt like my kids are now just leaving. Yeah. In school and. Oh, I thought you had a falling out. Yeah. They just had enough. We're separated.

They got their own apartment. Yeah. The grandmother's paying for it. But the big thing, too, is like it seemed like it navigated fine. Yeah. Like, and they just, they did take an example of your working hard. And. And, you know, that you're, you don't screw around.

And, like, that part of it, I think, is a valuable lesson. It really is about keeping mom happy. Yeah. That's really the key. Well, the partnership is the other thing, too, right? So that's the whole kid part of it. But then it's like your wife feeling like she had a partner, not somebody was just going up and doing their thing.

So I think a lot of reorganization of that and reprioritizing of, just communicating, to be honest. Like, you know, everybody just thinks you can reach other's minds and you can't. We're a soulmate. You're supposed to know what I'm thinking. That's the worst. Yeah, the worst. I know.

It's a biggest cup of poison. It seems like it's really a bum deal because you're like, we got married. We're good, right? That's it. Yeah. I'm your person. We did it. I'm not,

we're going. I'm not going anywhere. It says to death to us part, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but it's, it's not that. It's day to day. People ask a lot for me for relationship advice when they're like, we're getting married, like, oh, you know, whatever. Like, what do you have any advice?

I'd be like, he doesn't know what you're thinking. You don't know what she's thinking. You don't know what she's thinking. Right. Say if something's bothering you, say it now. Get it while it's little. That's the biggest thing they tell people all the time because, like, you don't realize. You're like, you should know.

That sentence is the worst sentence in the world because I don't. All right, I should. I don't. So help me out, you know. Same thing. Yeah, this is a complicated human being next to you in your bed. That's steaming for some reason and you're not sure why, you know? Yeah.

So I think that was a big part of it. And we worked through that part of it too. She communicated better. I communicated better. You know, we both had our things that we needed. It's a nice story. Because I know, yeah, when we spoke, like it was like, I think you were splitting or you had. And it's nice.

You don't hear it come back a lot. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, man. She could have just blamed the dogs and left. Yeah, that's it.

But she don't want to keep six. And I get the, I think that was what, did it. She was like, you know what? I can't leave because, you know, I only get six of these dogs. How do I pick them? You know? When it's Christmas, how do you, is it Christmas Eve at your house or Christmas Day? We get all Christmas.

You do all Christmas. Yeah, we get Christmas with my family. And then Thanksgiving is with hers. So we split it up. that way. And who does the cooking on Christmas? Christmas? We rotate houses, so one, two, and three. Me, my oldest sister, or my middle sister, I'll go. Who's the best cook of the three

of you? I'm not going to get into it on this. They listen. They do. I will say both my sisters are better cookers than I. They are. Yes, but I do well on Christmas. But day to day, they're both better chefs than I. Do you have, like, what are you the most proud of that you'll rock out at

the holidays? My dish, my go-to dish is a terrier. You knowky salmon with a pineapple rice if you want some. That would be the way I go. I do that. I'm pescatarian, so I don't eat. I was vegan for a while, too. I'm mainly pescatarian now.

But I did, that was like my go-to meal for a while. But any of the pastas, I could do a nice big ziti. I could do an eggplant parm and blow your balls off. If you need to, yeah, that kind of stuff. I'm big in the Italian dishes. Right. We do good. Yeah, the eggplant parm, that's where the vegan goes off.

Yeah. You got it. People want the chicken parm. Joe's a vegan. And, uh... Congratulations, Joe. Yeah. He's husband for quite some time.

How many years? Five? Oh, wow. I did nine months. Yeah. I did nine months. I saw the documented game changers. Yeah. And I was like, oh, let me see.

The science behind about like it'll make you, because I don't drink smoke, never try to drug or cigarette in my life, never been drunk. But I eat like a maniac. Like I've never really cared. I love sweets, have a sweet tooth. And it talked about how you could like reprogram

and save yourself some time. Like get some time back on the clock when you have kids now. Like, oh, let me just try it. I went vegan for a month. I was the best I ever felt. And I was like, it was really hard. I was like, you know what?

Let me try it. I did it for like another month. And I was like, wow, this is, I feel really good. Yeah. And then I just started, you know, I just missed desserts too much. And I started diving. They look like, like, you could have this coconut cream. I was like, I said, bullshit, give me a canola.

Yeah, I did a layer cake, you know? Yeah. So it was like, you know, then I just started. But then now I just do it. It's hard for the growing up the way that we did. Yeah. But also road life is. really tough. Like try to find a vegan place and

you know, you're in Licking Nebraska. You just end up eating like tortilla chips. Yes. Like a whole bag back stage. A bag of baby carrots. Is your dinner? Like, yeah. Yeah, you really lose stuff. Yeah. But I tried it for a little bit and then walked into an Italian deli.

Done. And it was just all this spursuits hanging. Yeah. The thrumbershoot right in your face. Yeah. And you're like, yeah. I couldn't do it. I was like, this is mean to my ancestors. I would love to eat this way. I went to my sister's house right after I became a vegetarian.

I went to my sister's house. I gave up meat and she made spaghetti and meatballs. And I was like, oh, could you just do a Madanan sauce? I was like, she goes, I don't make Motton. She's like, we have spaghetti meatballs. And I was like, oh, I don't eat meat anymore. She goes, what are you talking about? And I was like, I said, I stopped eating meat.

I said, I met this cow and it was a gorgeous animal and I just don't eat meat anymore. And she goes, did she looks me in the face and goes, did you hit your head? Did you hit your head and eat a meatball? And we laugh about that all the time. It's a real personal violation to your Italian family. Yeah. So now she still calls me as like, what could your family eat? I'm like, we're just vegetarian.

Like, what are we doing? They don't understand it. My mother, I brought my wife home when we were dating. She was a vegetarian and they all lost it. They're like, we're trying to like her. But what? She's doing this to herself. And I'm like, so we'll just, we'll give her the sauce without.

the meat loss. And I'm like, yeah, but there's meat in the sauce. She's like, we'll just skim it off the top. Like, it was so... It's cooked in it. Yeah. It was so out of their brain that you couldn't eat meat. What if it doesn't make a lettuce pommerjohn? Yeah. What are I doing? Yeah. It was really, it's taken 25 years for them to kind of understand her. They finally get it. Yeah. They do. They don't like her. She did it to myself 25 years ago. Yeah, but just no clue. How, you, when you stop being a vegan, did you not feel as good? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I gained a little bit of the weight. I lost a little bit of weight from it, too, but more that I felt healthier. You did. I felt more energy, you know? So that was a big piece of it for me, I think. How much you enjoying this? No, no, you guys carry on. This is, you have to do your own thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You ate vegan last night? I did. I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Crossroads? Vestation. Vestation's not bad. Yeah. My three of my favorite vegan restaurants are out here. Yeah. Gracias Madre. The Crossroads, which I went to last night. Right.

And then the other is the Italian joint that I always forget the name of. It's prima Bella, prima Bella, prima. Verifera. Purevita. Pure Vita. Which, here's a fun fact. You like this.

You should get up on this business, Papa. Okay. She is from Brooklyn, the founder. Oh, yeah. And she moved here, and she's Brooklyn vegan and makes unbelievable, unbelievable Italian vegan food. And it's amazing.

It's so good. I kind of wish I didn't tell you it was vegan and made you go. I just said you got to try this place, Pura Vita. Because I went the first time I was like, there's no way this is. Really?

And I actually called the moment. I said, oh, I'm vegan. This is, he's like, no, it's vegan. Really? Yeah, it's really good. Crossroads does a good chicken parm. They do that fake chicken marsala. I love that.

Oh, man. That's great. Yeah, it's like legit. Really good. Yeah. And the real thing is not even just the food. it's that they make it feel like a regular restaurant. Crossroads definitely makes it feel like a fine dining experience.

So many times you would go in and it would just be like, they're just thinking about the food and you're like, this is the saddest place I've ever been. It's almost like no carpet. Yeah, you just want to get through it. It's like, just jazz it up a little. It feels very jailed cafeteria in here. Is that what we're going for?

Yeah. On the east coast, there's Planta. It's also down in Florida, but that's a big one too. And they kind of are like very crossroadsy where it feels like you're in a proper restaurant. Yeah. No, that makes a difference. Atmosphere.

I like to eat, though. I like to go out and have a meal with people and sit around and talk. There's nothing like that. No, I know. I just go wherever. You could find something to eat pretty much anywhere, you know. You just tell people. Yeah.

I could go to a steakhouse and be like, I'm just giving me. Oh, the sides in a steakhouse are great. All the mashed potatoes and spinach for dinner. Yeah. No, it's good. This is only flour, water, salt, and yeast. It looks fantastic. How long have you been cooking bread?

Like 10 years. Really? What got you into it? I was working on a TV show, and one of the writers told me about sourdough starter and the whole thing behind the natural yeast. And it sounded kind of weird. And I told my family about it, and for Christmas my daughter got a starter started for me. And I always say it was one of my best acting roles was pretending that I was grateful to get this bowl of goo for Christmas. But I baked bread off it, and I fell in love with it.

Yeah. That's so cool. Because I always cooked, but baking I always thought it was too precise. I can't really do it. This is kind of in between. Do you have in desserts at all for baking or cakes and things or no? I make a Chiambela, which is the, you know, the Italian kind of pound cake. I'll make stuff like that.

That's kind of bread adjacent, if we're going to be honest with each other. I know. Look how angry you got. It's not sweet enough. I know. This is what I get from everybody. It's not sweet enough. So you don't make desserts.

Short answer, no. I don't. Biscotti is fun to make. I love a good homemade biscot. It's really fun to make. It's not hard. Do you make Tadal cookies? No.

Mm-mm. And Irene Tadallel. She was the best. She made the best cookies. Oh, really? Yeah, I love a good coffee dunkin cookie. I love that. Yeah.

Yeah, not overly sweet. What's your favorite dessert of all desserts? I mean, that's kind of insane to ask me because I don't know how much time you have. But, you know, if I go to, if I'm going down a cake route, it's a strawberry short cake. If I'm going through a dessert, it's probably either a canoli or a lobster claw. Right. But you really can't make it a great artisanal, like, just nice, perfectly moist cupcake for me is what a great, good amount of frosting doesn't hurt anybody?

No. You know, that's great? The only things I don't enjoy, really, are ice cream. I'm not a big ice cream guy. Yeah, I mean, either. Yeah, I don't like it. But you know what, last, the other night, Super Bowl, I had a Hagenas Mini. It was like a little pop.

Just the right amount, yeah. It was perfect. Did it have the brittle on the outside? Yeah, I love those. Yeah, the crunchies. Yeah, the crunches. Yeah. And then you suck up, then you suck on the wooden spoon for an hour and a half.

You did it like that. You feel like, you know, it's like a toothpick. You're like a mason worker. Yeah, I did, uh, I do those. I rock those out. Yeah. Any drumsticks I'll do because there's not a lot of commitment. No.

Yeah, you don't get the ice cream headaches. Yeah, it's nice. Anything that could hurt me from eating it. I don't know. Yeah. And you're done before your wife comes back in the room. It's like, what we were talking about? Sure.

You're touring pretty heavy. Yes, yes. You're always touring. Yeah, I'm touring. I just started the Let's get into a tour in September, which is great. and just I'll be going through June and I'm just about, I think, to announce the next half of the year, so it'll be fun.

Nice. That's good. Yeah, it's really, I love it, man, getting out and we've been having a good time. It's fun. It's so good. Who do you bring out? Mark Jagardian is my opener. Right.

He's, I've known him for 10 years. He's a great guy. Sometimes Steve Byrne will join me. You know, because we do our podcast, two cool moms together, but he's great, Bern. Right. I love Steve. He just called me, actually.

Did he? Yeah, I don't know what he wants. Oh, don't answer. What do you think it is? He probably wants to come to Pittsburgh. Oh, really? Yeah, to do that Mario Lemieux charity. It's that big event.

Right. I just got suckered in. I'm going. You're going? You want a carpool. When is it? I'll bring lobster clothes. Yeah, it's in July.

It's in July. It's a lot of fun. This is my third year. Last year, I surprised him by, without him knowing, I flew in William Hung. Yeah. So, like, on the road, like, he'll go with me, and we just listen to William Hung's. I don't know if you know he had four albums. He did.

Yeah, this is American Idol phenom. He did. You should Google him if you don't know him. He had four albums. And he's only known for, she bangs, she bangs. But he has a Christmas album. So he would just do all this stuff. So he did the Circle of Life rendition.

And it was one of my favorites. So I flew him out because the comedy set that he does is we do a comedy set and then we sing a song with a live band. And that's the fun of this event. So I brought in as my ace in the hole to sing Circle of Life was William Hunt. You did. So William Hung came out and he, I've never, I've made people laugh before. Yeah.

I have never made somebody crumble. Like I saw, the photographer of the event got an amazing photo of, he was in tears down as William Hung was just like, the circle of live. Like, it was unbelievable. I was like, this is, it was one of my greatest accomplishments. So I'm going to have to outdo myself. So you should come to see what's going on. Yeah.

Wait, you have to be, you have to sing at the end of it? Yeah, you sing with a live band. So it's like a karaoke version kind of thing. So it's kind of like, and the band sings with you. the other comics will come out and sing and stuff. So it's kind of just like a, you know, and the crowd gets really into it. It's fun. Right.

Yeah, it's a really fun event. They do it for in Pittsburgh every year. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I can't believe I'm busy. Yes, I know. It's a shame. It's a shame that you're busy.

I can't believe. I didn't even tell you when it was. That's so funny. July, right? The whole month you got that thing. Was it all of July? Yeah. Do you ever act?

No. No. No, I want to be a filmmaker. That's why I, actually, that's why I'm in L.A. I'm shopping around some script stuff. You are? Yeah, I want to be... Can I be in it?

Absolutely. That's why I called you. You just sent me to voicemail. You were busy. I'm doing it in July. Ah, shit. No, oh, you mean this July? Yeah, that's what I'm...

No, no, no, I can do this July. Yeah. Yeah, no, that was the dream. I never thought I'd be in front of it. I just was able to be myself. So, you know, I think that was an asset for me. I was just like, if I have to... I've been in some stuff where, like, you know,

guys did some bit rolls and some, like, you know, MacGiver and, like, people that were for the showrunners that were fans or the That's cool. We got into some stuff, which was cool. Yeah. You know, I wouldn't, and I did some character stuff on Joker's. I love fun character stuff. Yeah.

You know, we were able to create characters towards the end of my run there, which was fun. Right. But I don't consider myself an actor. I'm really obsessed with, that was my favorite part of Joker's. I was, like, totally behind the scenes. I was, like, in the, on the edits and making a lot of decisions of all the producing stuff. So that was really fun for me. That's cool.

That's scratching. You like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So to make a feature film was like the bucket list thing for me. Yeah. And is it.

Who, who, what's the filmmaker that you would see yourself being more like? Is it like a Sandler? Is it a Jim Jarmouche? No, I mean, I dabble in action comedy. I think that's one of my favorite genres where it's not, it's not straight comedy. I do like horror comedy, like stuff like that. I do. Yeah.

As far as a straight up comedy, I mean, I would like, I probably don't know if I would be able to do something just straight like that. I think I would need some sort of take on it. Yeah. I make, because it always gets funny when you write the dialogue. I think like a filmmaker. I think like, oh, this would be a great movie. Right.

And then I was like, and then when I get to writing it, and I'm writing a dialogue, like when you're funny, like you're like, oh, it'd be funny if you said this. And he said that. So a lot of the humor comes as a second part of the ingredient when you're cooking. Right. For me, that's, right.

That's, that's, that my stuff becomes comedies when I start writing it, if that makes sense, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just become, you just can't help it. I can't help it, yeah. Yeah. You're writing in your own voice or you're co-writing with somebody, you're collab

and you're laughing together, you know? Yeah, yeah. So what's the role again? It starts July 1st, right? We wrapped July 31st. It's in Pittsburgh. And I'm a hit man. You're a hit man.

I'm a hit man. What would your dream role be? I'll write it. You will? We should do, you know what? We should announce it here. We should do a short film. You tell me what your dream role is.

I'll write it and we make it. How fun would that be? All right. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna put two words out. Okay. No, thank you. Yeah. I'm gonna give you two words.

And anything that you come up with within these two words will work. And I'm prefacing it because you can go a bunch of different directions. Dirty Priest. Oh, I like that. I won't do the Hackneyed child, none of that. No. But dirty priest. Can I tell you the logline of the movie I just made it up in my head?

Because you told me that. unbeknownst to the community that he serves, a pastor runs an underground gambling ring to make money for the church and those that serve his faith. July? I'd watch it. 100%.

That's great. Yeah, that would be really good. Kind of like a break in bed situation with the church. Now, if this is uncomfortable, tell me. Are you one of those filmmakers that's like all the dogs have to be in it at some point, like, just to see them, like, like a Hitchcock.

I didn't mention that the gambling was actually... Like a Hitchcock walked by. He's got to see Viscotti. All your fans. They're on the trench coat. Just like, failed on. Yeah, I think they would definitely... We tried to sneak my dog Spamone

into the Joker's movie. So we flew down Spamoni. There's a scene in the movie where we're pulling out of a parking lot. We're pulling out to start our road trip. And Q is driving, and he's like, let's go. And he doesn't pay attention. An old lady crosses walking her dog.

And he doesn't see her, and he almost hits her. and it got cut for time. So we only didn't make the film. I did already do that. Man, I know you've heard this a zillion times, but the reach of that show was so vast. It was so on true TV.

Man, I mean, everyone from my life, and all, like, you know, filmmakers, family, comedy people, young, I mean, the reach was really profound. Yeah. That's not lost on me. I'm still amazed when I hear who's seen it or people who know you walk. I'm even in places. I literally, when I went, was going through some stuff,

I went to find myself a little bit in Alaska. And I go up to Anchorage. You did? Yeah, I went to Anchorage. I went there for like four days. I just go up to Anchorage by myself. Wow. I go up there.

And I'm literally like walking. I'm not kidding. I'm walking on a glacier. I took a helicopter to a glacier. It's like one of these things. And we get there. And as I'm walking around with one of the guys, the pilot comes over. He goes, I got to ask.

I was like, there's no way this guy knows. He lives in Anchorage, the last guy. And he goes, you know, he's like, do you ever see this show in practical, Joker? And I was like, yeah, I'm Sal. He goes, no. You look like, Joe. And I'm like, no, I'm just kidding me.

You know, one of those. But it's just really never lost me there. I could get, I get people stop me in traffic. I'm driving a moving vehicle. Right. Because I don't think I'm that. I kind of look like people. Like, I look like.

Yeah. If you see us together, that's a dead wringer. Like, you see me and somebody that looks like you. That's Joe and I drop you on the New Jersey Turnpike. Right. I'm by myself. Like it's insane. You look like a lot of people on the New Jersey Turnpike.

A hundred percent. That's where, that's my demographic. But when you light up, you light up. When you, when you talk and you're about to say something funny or you laugh. Yeah.

There's a different thing that other people, all those guys on the New Jersey Turnpike don't have. Really? You have a, you have a funny, there's a funny joy that pops out of you. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's what they're sure. I will notice sometimes when people start turning their heads more when I'm speaking. Like when I'm talking. or getting loud. If I'm in a restaurant, if we're out eating and, like, we start getting going and laughing, I'll see more and more, like, that's definitely him. You know, like, that that'll be what puts him over the edge.

Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, that's the best part of it. I'll give you a cool one because it's, it was one that, it was one that kind of surprised me. But he was like, man, do you watch impractical? This is, like, you know, I don't know, six, eight years ago. Do you watch impractical jokes that we have it on all the time? it is just so it's so effing funny it's just so we watch it all the time and I was like yeah you know I see it now and again he's like no man you should really like key in because it's the

funniest thing on television I was like all right it was Rob Zombie no yeah he's directed two of my specials we're tight friends and he took me aside when we were working yeah oh my God yeah and I was was always like, real. I mean, he's a great comedy fan. He loves comedy. Yeah, are you kidding. But it's a cool one, right?

That is, I would have, a million years you could have said, I wouldn't have picked that name. Yeah. Rob Zombie. The unbelievable one for, well, there's been a lot, you know, I'm very fortunate, like a lot of people who've seen the show. But we were in L.A. doing an event, like a press thing, me, Q, and everybody, we're driving. And the driver, they hired a sprinter for the day for us. He's like, oh, he goes, I know you guys. You're funny.

He goes, yeah, I'm actually a chauffeur. And I'm like, oh. and he goes, yeah, he's like, last week, he's like, I know a lot of people that like your show. I'm like, yeah, he goes, yeah, he goes, yeah, last week, I actually was driving around Paul McCartney. And we're like, again, he's like, again, he was talking about you guys. And we thought the guy was joking, right?

Yeah. They were like, no way. He's like, no, really. He goes, you know who his favorite was? And the guy goes, I don't know. And he was, like, I don't know what? And Q was like, it's me, whatever. Fast forward.

Our manager is at this music thing. McCartney's there. So he walks over and he's like, hey, you know, they start talking and whatever. and he just gets in the dimension. He goes, oh, he's like, what do you do in the industry? He's like, yeah, I actually manage you, right? And he goes, oh, I love that lot. He says to them.

And then our manager, knowing that we want, he goes, who's your favorite to him? And he says, you know, they all make me laugh. He's like, but that cue, he's really funny. And now, like, that is, like, Q's like, I'm McCartney's favorite. I really like, cue. Yeah, it's interesting. But we're all like, but he said we're all funny. He's like, okay, you're all funny, bud.

He's like, you didn't say your name. It's so cool. funny yeah it's just really great and then you get a grandma in the middle of nebraska it's like yeah no it was everybody it was everybody amazing uh what do you mean you went to alaska to find yourself when i was going through the separation i was like to doing the little soul searching and you know yeah i think you gotta get uncomfortable you get comfortable so like you grow with that so i was like i just got to go be away think about some stuff trying to figure out what's going i also hadn't performed live comedy in all 50 states which was a bucket list item for me

uh-huh so alaska was one of the ones that wasn't the last one but last one but was one of the ones I hadn't done yet. That's funny. That is my last one. That is your last one? Yeah. I know a comedy club up there if you want. Yeah.

It was fun. Yeah. So I went and did a couple of shows up there, but that was secondary to, you know, just wanting to go up there and put my head. Did it help at that time, like traveling like that? Was it good for you? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think so. I attribute a couple things to it. I think the therapy helped for sure, just being able to talk out loud to somebody who had no idea who I was, which was nice. And then also the hard honest conversation. with the family, which was good. Yeah.

And then being by yourself to figure out what those conversations are. Like all the conversations happened after that, you know? Right. And then just all the... Lined it up. It all lined up just by the serendipitous things.

Like I tried to... I was with my wife. We were doing a dog event. We, this Monday, they were doing a photo shoot. They needed some old dogs. So they asked us to bring some our old dogs from our rescue to do for this. Yeah.

Magazine. And me and my wife were at, in Animal Havens, the name of the company in New York. So we go to this event. And they were like, okay, come back at four. It was like nine in the morning. I was like, well, we're not going to drive back out to Long Island.

Right. I could do some work. And she took a nap. I got a, and I'm working. And I had put a bit in for a house because I couldn't live in the apartment anymore. And I was like, oh, and I just found out. So I started looking at houses. And she walks in and she goes, what are you doing?

I said, oh, I didn't get the bid on the last house. I said, I didn't get the house. So I'm looking for another house. And she just like went, oh. And she goes, do you want to get back together? And I went, yeah. And she goes, okay, me too. And like that was like, well, and we both weren't thinking, weren't expecting it.

Don't even know why we said a teacher. Wow. And then we just sat in that hotel room and like talked and cried for like six hours into way to pick up the dogs. And I said, well, look, I'm not going to move back in. It happened like in May, I think it was. I said, I'm not moving back in. I said, want to make sure this is real and make sure it's not just us being like frustrated, blah, blah. Yeah.

And we started like slowly talking, hanging out again. And then eventually that was it. Oh, that's so great. Yeah. How long were you together before you split? We were together for nine years. Part for just under two. Just two?

Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. I mean, it's a beautiful story and it's inspiring, but the thing that I really take away is how much of a pain in the ass it would be for you both to have to start dating again at this point. Disgusting. Oh, my God.

Look at me. Meet other people. What am I going to do? Go talk. Take people out. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I think that was her motivation.

I think she went on a couple of bad dates. It was like, oh, my God. It didn't stick. These guys, they can't see when they're driving. They've got prostate issues. I can't do it. A whole other family with all their problems. I know.

I've got to inherit all these things. Brady Bunch situation. No, nine years. Let's make this work. I was trying to write about that the other night. I was like, I would be like the worst, like, just first date guy. I'd be like. You just spill everything.

Can we just meet there? You know, by the time I come and get you and then drive back, like, you turn it to your father, right? You're like, I just can't. It makes more sense. It's more sensible. It makes more sense. And if we, look, we could go at eight, but if we go at five, you know, there's not going to be a big crowd. Drinks you cheaper.

We can hear each other. Happy hour. I love it. They don't call it sad hour. It would be a nightmare. Yeah, for sure. That's really great, though. Good for you.

That really is very cool. Thank you. It's nice to hear a good story. Everyone on this crew is a mess. RBC Training Ground has discovered potential in over 20,000 Canadian athletes and counting. Your story could be next. If you've got the drive,

they'll help you find your path to the Olympics. Let's see what you've got. Sign up for free at rbc training ground.ca. Just an absolute mess. I have 25th anniversary next month. Amazing. It's great. You're doing anything or no?

Yeah, we're going to go to Hawaii. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Great. And, uh, together or? You're going to meet her there? Oh, no, not my wife. No, I'm going with the boys.

Yeah, we're going to do it. We're going to do a divorce. I mean, if you said to her, look, hon, it's 25 years, I can give you a weekend. Right. She might be like, thanks. You do what you're going to do? I'm going to do what I'm going to do. Yeah.

We'll be fine. Do you ever do that boy strippy kind of stuff? Do you ever do that, like, she go with girls? Comedy killed that. Yeah. She'll go see her sister or not that often. Not really. But like the idea of being a comic and then being like, oh, and you go through your calendar together, you know, and you're like, okay.

And then June 18th to the 23rd, I'm going with the guys down of Fort Lauderdale. Wait, the what? Excuse me? Yeah, I'm playing the guys comedy club in Fallen Lauderdale. There's no way. There's no way. My wife started this thing, which was actually pretty cool because I think she likes it too. It's like she started going away for her birthday in April as a girl strip.

Like they go for like the weekends or somewhere or whatever. And she like really liked that because also I always took it off my calendar for like going away. And I'm like, look, I'll take the kids. Right, right. And it always lines up with the week after that is their spring break. So I should go do that and then we'll like celebrate her birthday and spring break with the kids together. Right. That's nice.

But that became like a little ritual, which was one of the things. I was like, you need to not feel like a mom old. Yeah, that's great. That's really good. But our kids are younger too. So it's. Yeah, but she has a lot more fun when she's with her friends than with me. Most too.

Yeah. There's a freedom. I mean, most of why. I'm having a blast. Yeah, this is great. Thank you. I made you bread. No, but we were talking about that the other night. She was saying you'll never understand the joy that women have when they're just with other women. And she was a comic too.

And she said when it was just women in the audience, when it was for whatever night, they would laugh with such freedom because there weren't dudes around. Yes. They could just be themselves. and the laughs are so much stronger and there's such a, it really comes out of the freedom of not having guys around. A genuine joy, yeah.

Yeah, and so maybe I can get her to move out. If that's what comes out of this, I got back to your 25-year relationship. Could you imagine the comments? Oh, geez. Tom's got 10 dogs and no wife. What happened? Joe's a cat guy?

I don't know what's happening. The world's upside down. Oh, man. Well, thank you so much for this. I can't wait to, uh, I'll tell my agent, I'll wait until we're done, but I'll tell my agent, July is where we're going to shoot. July is we're going to shoot. Dirty priest.

On location in Pittsburgh. It would be good. I think I play a really good priest. I'm, I'm serious. I'm going to take, I'm going to write a five-page script. I'm going to put myself to it. I'd send it over to you and see if you'll do it short. Yeah.

I think it would be really fun. It would be really fun. Yeah. No, it would be fun. I'm just spitballing. Go. I'm not, uh, but I love your idea of him running the thing. This is, if we turn it into a feature, you keep finding different things that he does.

Like, he, they expose him for the gambling. They're like, oh, father, you really can't do that. And I don't know, okay. And then you realize he's also dirty in another way. He's resourceful. Yeah. I love that. He gets busted, but he makes the left and right.

Right. Squirrely. I like it. I like it. I like it. He just can't help it. Yeah. There can be layers to this character.

I'm on board. All right. Good. And he's married. He was a fan. family in Oklahoma. Nobody knows. That's it.

Yeah. Oh, man. Well, this was so great. What is, what is the name of the dog? It's Gatto Pups and Friends.

Gatto Pups and Friends. Or on Instagram, it's at Gatto Pups and Friends. Cool. That's where you can see the puppies and whatnot. And all you know, if you can help by sharing

pictures of the dogs and whatnot. And then my tour stuff is all on my website, Joe Gatto official. com. Awesome. Make sure you put official in there. I don't know the other guy. I don't know the non-official Joe Gattom.

That guy's a mess. Yeah. And then, you know, I'm on tour. You ever get mermaid pugs? Mermaid pugs I have never gotten, no. I didn't realize that pugs have the German Shepherd thing with some of them, their hips,

the back legs thing. So they become mermaid pugs. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. I know we haven't gotten one yet. Really? You know, I'm sure I've found a lot.

Yeah. We had gotten this one dog that was a huge, I thought it was a husky, but it ended up being a Malamut or whatever it is, a big, long-head dog. It's like, it looked like a lion. Whoa. And I didn't know Bessie had got. them and I went in the backyard to where our dog run was and she had gotten them when I was out of town and I shut the door and I look up and it sees me and it goes and I go oh big fella

and I just stood there and he just came over and he was like and he was like and he was super sweet and gentle I was like that could have been bad and I was like what is this beast in our backyard she's like hey babe so we're getting lions now did any ever bite you uh yeah we've had a couple of the older ones because they're blind and it get scared yeah never really really many aggressive. We had one that was an aggressive one that we had to outsource to a friend of ours

who's used to that kind of dog because some of them we get are just completely effed up you know? Yeah. Yeah, they've been through it a rough time. So we only had one or two out of like 200

that were like that. Wow. And you know, most of the bites that happened are just like little nips because you get, they're blind, you forget, you get too close. Right, yeah.

Or you step on, you step too close to them. And when you talk about the pack order and stuff, do you ever bite them, let them know? Right. I'll take Biscati down

I have to. I'm like, who you growling at? Well, this is really great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. And you're going to be in a hotel. No, you're going to go back home.

Yeah. The bread will, it just came out. Yeah. Bread travels. It'll make it. I love it. It'll make it home. I'm going to make just a sandwich on that.

Yeah. For real. I love it. It's good stuff. All right, we got it, kids. Well, there you have it, kids. I told you it was fun. That was a good conversation.

Amazing. He's a nice guy and a funny guy. And he's filled with dog fur. Just really unfortunate. But it's a podcast, so you don't really have to, you know, see what I saw. But thank you so much, Joe, for being on. You were great. And I can't wait to shoot a movie with you in July. Next week, dear listeners, we have the great Jason Alexander on the program. How about that? Yes, Jason Alexander. I feel like he liked me. me more than he likes Seinfeld.

But we'll figure that out when we get next week. Have a good one. We'll see you then.