Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 259 - Tim Dillon

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

This week Tim Dillon joins us at the table! Good news, he has an opinion on everything: NY vs LA, the stock market crash, Joe Rogen's influence on the election, and much more. Enjoy! Check out Tim's new Netflix special on 4/15, "I'm Your Mother". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:00:32 Patreon 0:01:22 New York vs LA 0:05:33 Stock Market Crash, Tariffs, & Real Estate 0:12:15 Bread & The Bronx Breakfast 0:19:54 RFK Jr. 0:24:55 Podcaster's influence on the election 0:28:27 JD Vance on Tim's podcast 0:31:55 Covering politics on Tim Dillon podcast 0:35:55 Silly questions 0:40:05 Tim's new special 0:43:20 Uncomfortable moment 0:44:44 Back to silly questions 0:49:50 Anxiety attacks 0:51:58 Future of Hollywood 0:56:38 Post covid life and bounce back 1:01:10 Goodbyes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Patreon - Patreon.com/breakingbreadwithtompapa Radio, Podcasts and more - https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa   #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread #timdillon #rfkjr Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Depos Minimimimum of 10 dollars Beyeyeye Paye DeC and conditions It makes a lot of sense and there's a lot of things that don't make a ton of sense, right?

Yeah. Like his crusade against Popper seems odd. Right. It seems odd. Like, I don't think that's why kids are fat, right? Or, like, touting that, like, beef tallow French fries at steak and shake are a great, like, to me, it's like, no, no, no, it's shut down steak and shake. Use the military to close steak and shake. It's breaking bread.

Hey, everybody. Great news. a good way to support this podcast and enjoy extra material is to join our Patreon. You can go to patreon.com, look up Breaking Bread with Tompapa, and you get bonus stuff. You get extra episodes. You get bonus material. You get stuff we do here around the studio, some stuff shot from me on the road. It's just a great way to be a part of our community and support the podcast.

I said support kind of weird there, but that's the kind of way. that we roll. It doesn't have to be all edited and nice, but it is a Patreon. Oh my God. It's so clean. Over there, it's like, it's like watching an Oscar worthy movie. But we really want you to be a part of it. And thank you for joining. Go over to patreon.com, look up Breaking Bread with Tom Papa and join in all of the fun. You've created New York here. I know. You've created it here. Yeah. This is like the corner table at Rayos or something. Yeah, that's the whole idea. Of course. I know. I love it so much. I think I want to go back. Are you from the East Coast?

I am. I grew up in New Jersey. How do you function in this godless environment? I kind of, I got a sauna. So I just, and when you sit in it, there's a window. And you can see a palm tree, a single palm tree. It is beautiful. So I just sit in there and I pretend that there aren't people casing my house as I'm sitting in there.

It's the most seductive place. I've never lived in a place where the flora, the fauna, the smell of Jackson. and honeysuckle. I've never enjoyed one interaction I've had with a person here. Not one. In five years, not one thing has fulfilled me on any level spiritually and or any other, you know. Yeah.

But I will say just the nicest times I've had. I've been completely alone and just looking at the ocean. Right. And then you go, God, it's beautiful. And it gets inside of you. It does. And it's hard to get it out. I know.

It's very seductive. You look up, if you look, if you look, 10 feet up, from 10 feet up, you don't look down below 10 feet. You think this is just paradise and what could possibly be going wrong. If you look below 10 feet, it's a hellscape. It's a tough, it's a tough below 10 feet market. It really is. You grew up in Long Island.

I grew up in Long Island. So I adjusted to the suburbs easily. Right. Because a lot of New York guys that I'm friends with like Janus Poppice or San Maril or any of these guys. They can't imagine it. I know. They can't even fathom living here. How could you live that? How do people live that? And it's like, well, if you come from the suburbs, you're used to driving and traffic and things being far away. Yeah. And there are certain guys, and we're not two of them, who like look like a manhole cover. Yes. Like a New York dirty

manhole cover. Sam is one, Janice's one, Atal is one. And like you, if you, if you were to see them walking on a beach, it would be a shock. They love New York in a way that I find to be unhealthy. Yeah. Yeah. I love New York too, but I think you should be a little open to other things. Right. Just slightly open to other things. Yeah. And other people. Yeah. No, yeah. You look like you could deal with some sunshine and some ocean. Well, I'll be cancer, but, you know, I mean, I like the, you know where I really feel at home is a place like Orange County where people are really stupid and kind of small-minded. And I like the idea of like, you know, like sitting at a restaurant and ordering like a Godzilla roll, like some like grossly Americanized sushi and just kind of

sitting with a bunch of people who feel that they really deserve everything they're getting. And then it's the slightest inconvenience or enraged. That reminds me of Long Island where I grew up. Like, that's a type of people that I come from. Yeah. A woman yesterday at the Beverly Hills Hotel, we went to the pool. My godson's a little, he's forced. His father and me, we take him to the pool.

And a woman walked into an umbrella. And then immediately began to start complaining called a manager over. I can't believe, why would it be here? I mean, it's a pool, right? Why would it be here? This is dangerous. This is crazy. This has happened before?

The manager goes, no, not really. And then literally, the manager goes, we feel so sorry. Is there anything we can get you? And the woman had her order ready. She goes, yes, two McCarthy salads, a water. It was all to just get something free.

Oh, my God. And that's the type of people I come from, just people that are ready with a scam, not even a good scam. Right. Not even a meaningful scam. They just want a free salad or a free, you know. Just hit the notes.

Just hit the notes. Just hit the notes. Oh. How do you feel being poor now, now that the stock market has crashed? Well, because you're a man of leisure yourself. I'm a man of leisure. What's good about my look is that I can get poor quick. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I mean, I, can really, it's just a few shades of red in the skin. Uh-huh. So if I got to go back to real processed food, the rosacea flares, and then that's just a poor version of me. That's the working class version of me. It's just broken capillaries in my face.

So it's very easy to go there. I don't have a ton in the stock market. I like real estate because I understand it. I don't really understand the stock market. I'm not good at it. I can't be on my phone all day. I have friends that are really, really smart. Yeah.

I'm not in that way. So I like, like, okay, I got a couple of houses and I get them. And you don't 10 extra money with houses, but you don't go to bed and wake up and go, oh, my God. Like I have friends calling me going, whoa, it's getting bad. I know. This is, Joe and I were talking about this. It's, I put money in the stock market.

I don't. I have somebody that does it. Right. But it's pretty conservative. But it's just, you know, whatever you're supposed to do. Yeah. But it seems like an idiot's game because I've watched it in. 9-11, 2008, COVID, and now today, it seems like every eight years, you lose everything and then hope that it comes back.

And that's okay when you're young. Yeah. But when you're like, if you really need the money. Right. And this is just going to keep happening. Yeah. And what's always bothered me about it is all of the things that you should like get into. Once you've heard about them, it's over.

Right. So like Navidia. Yeah. I heard about Navidia when it was over. You know what I mean? Like it's been over. Yeah. I'm hearing about Navidia from someone so third hand.

Right. It's at that Orange County sushi bar. A guy is like, Miss Navidia. And then I think I've gotten a tip. I'm like, how about this Navidia? And I text one of my people that's in finance. And they go, yeah, that's done. Everyone's made their money.

Everyone's gone already. Yeah. Everyone sold her. Like, people have sold the thing. I'm thinking is the route. So I'm behind. Whereas to me, I think, real estate is easy because you go,

this is a desirable area. Right. This is an old house. But you could fix it up and throw in a new floor. And I get it. Like I get that. I go, okay, that makes sense to me. But like, the stock market,

you've got to have a good head. Yeah, a good head or just blinds. Yeah, tolerance for risk. Yeah. Just like, all right, we'll just let it kind of ride. But my new thing now, because I think we've lost $11 trillion. Yeah. My new thing is if you're worried about that, that's broke bitch shit.

Right. I want to get shirts called tariff country and just walk around. And I want to pretend to be so rich, I don't care. Right. That's my new angle. It's like, so what? It's 11 trillion. So what?

I'll be all right. I'm going to be fine. Who cares? Yeah. Where are we eating tonight? Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's only 11 trillion dollars. It is a great.

easy number. Do you think about it? It's 11 trillion. 11 trillion. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of. What's insane is it's one guy can do this. One guy. It's wild. There's no meeting. There's no like vote. There's no. Well, you know, here's one thing though. You know, I think that a lot of people thought he wasn't serious about the tariffs.

Yeah. Because he did the only, what's interesting about Trump, the only consistent position he's had for 40 years is tariffs. Yeah, he loves it. Really is the one thing. Like, you go back and watch him. He just loves it. likes the idea of tariffs. Yeah. He's been in a few different places on a lot of issues, but tariffs,

he's, like, pretty consistent. Uh-huh. But I think a lot of people, like, I don't know what percentage tariffs. You know what I'm like, I don't know, what is the percentage of tariff that loses 11 trillion? Like, I don't, I can't. I don't know the number. People in the news are like, he should have done less.

I'm like, well, I don't know any, I don't know what the number is where you'd, Don't lose that kind of money. I know that he wants to. I think in theory it sounds good. Uh-huh. The thing about it is, it's like anything else. It sounds good.

Like the idea of like the working class is in trouble. Mm-hmm. They did have stable jobs. Those jobs are gone. Right. The country's been de-industrialized. You go to like Scrant and PA or like Rochester, New York, right? I did a show in Rochester and behind the theater was the old Kodak plant in Rochester.

and now they test blood there. Whoa. It's really like creepy and it's just a perfect like example of like and it's not a lot of people testing blood. You don't need a lot of people. Right. But they're just testing blood. And that was a big Kodak factory that was like the big thing in Rochester. Yeah.

That's gone now and now you have the blood testing facility with a few people in it. And that could be repeated all throughout the country. Yeah. So it is like you have that but then do these tariffs get I don't know. And of course, you know, he goes, well, people get to build factories here. And, you know, that's the real question, right? Does that work? Does everybody just start, like, getting some bricks and some cement and building factories this week? Like, that's not going to.

I don't know how it works. I also think that it's, like, very possible countries start trading around us and not, you know, trading without us. So do you think it would be a good time or a bad time to upgrade my phone to the 16 pro? I would wait on it because there's not. Nothing new. Apple hasn't had a new feature in a long time. Right. There's no difference. In fact, it's shockingly similar where you forget you have a new phone. That's why no one knows what phone they have, by the way. Because no one's proud of their phone. It's not like you're like, I've got the 19S.

You're like, oh yeah, I don't even know what it is. People are Wednesday last time you got a new phone and I don't even know because they all blend. They do the same thing. Right. There's no phone that's new. Yeah. So I would just put it off. I'm putting everything off. Yeah. I'm putting everything off. I'm not even splurging on a colonoscopy. What are you nuts?

In this economy? I need to find that out now. Right, exactly. I've been eating a diet of refined carbohydrates for 40 years. Now I'm going to go in there. No, thank you. Let's get a little of that $11 trillion back before I start going crazy. I bake this bread for you, by the way.

I don't know where you're staying. Let me ask you about this bread. Okay. Because this is, you know, you see these people baking bread. Yeah, I see them. You see them on. You know, I look at you as like one of the OG bread people. Thank you.

Finally some respect. No, seriously. And then there's all these like people on TikTok, like this is now a thing. Yeah. This is a thing now. It became a thing during COVID. And I remember watching Jake Ellen Hall on Colbert being like, I'm a bread baker. I was like, no, you're not.

No, you're not. No, you're not. And as soon as you can go out of your house, you're buying bread again. You eat food out of a syringe. There's no way you're baking bread, Jake, Jill and Hall. Yeah, so I was before and now I'm still going. Living in the West Coast, sourdough has become my favorite bread. Oh, yeah.

I was a rye guy for a long time. My grandfather loved a fresh bakery rye. Oh, yeah. In Long Island, Irish guy who just loved a fresh Jewish bakery rye bread. The best. And he'd like some seeds in it. Yes, caraway seeds. People are seed now in bread, they look at you like you're crazy,

but a good rye. And he would say, you know, like when you're a kid, this is just the way the world was then. You would like cough. I go, I don't like this. You go, oh, yeah, there's seeds. That's in the bread. You eat that.

Yeah, eat it. Eat it. What would he put on that bread? Do you remember? I think butter, you know, this is a guy that would do a hot bakery rye. He would do butter. He would do a cup of coffee. That was breakfast.

Yeah, that's great. So that was breakfast. And then on the weekends, he'd have a French cruller. like a caller from the bakery. And that was, so these were his breakfast. And then on Saturday, my nanny, his wife would make what they call a Bronx breakfast, which was scrambled egg. It was a variation of the English breakfast where she would do scrambled eggs, bacon,

baked beans and fried tomatoes. And that's what she would, you know, that was like a Bronx breakfast and rye bread. It was amazing. I love calling it the Bronx breakfast because that is an English breakfast. It's an English breakfast that they just made in the Bronx. She learned a lot of how to cook. from Italian women in the Bronx. Oh, nice.

So she grew up in the Bronx and learned how to make meatballs and sauce and all these things from Italian women. It was just how Irish people learn that because we don't have a cuisine. Right. So we learned it.

Yeah, nothing really. Right. And we learned it from Irish people in Brooklyn and the Bronx were where Irish people learned how to cook. Oh, it's the best. Amazing. Oh, it's so good.

Well, I made this for you. You can bring it to your hotel. You can rip it apart. You can do whatever you want. And this is sourdough. This is sourdough. But it's not going to, going to be very sour.

It's more earthy. Explain to me what this is, a variation of sourdough. It's a whole grain loaf. Okay. So it's got a little white flour and then mostly wheat flour. Okay. Can I try it now? You can.

Can I? Sure. Do you want olive oil? I love so. I didn't know if this was like a self-control. where they put the bread in front of you and they go, well, we'll talk about it for an hour. Your special's great, by the way. Thank you.

Did they send it? Yes. I got a, I got a preview. Good. And I think it's... This is amazing, by the way, for people that are in, that are seeing this, you know, probably living on the street now because of the, because of the tariffs. It does feel like kind of a luxury thing to do when we've lost $11 trillion.

I'm like, what you can see is the. airiness of it. You know, it doesn't seem like an interesting thing. You don't know how to send their kids to college. I'm like, well, it's just kind of a bounce. But it does have these pockets. And correct me, if I'm wrong, but this is the, this is how you know it's real. Yeah.

It's, and nicely hydrated. Right. So it's got a little, uh, it's got a little spring and the little, and this literally just came out like an hour ago. Yeah. So, uh, I love the way you're cutting it. You really know what you're doing. Yeah.

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something horrible has happened. You might be my favorite guest ever. Yeah, no, it's a rare. You've never, I've never, no, it's a rare disease. that this has all happened. You have a very funny joke and you're special about about your father being unhappy

and just yelling about you and your mom. Just being fat. No. I just work at a job I hate so I can get food for you and your fat mother. What? It's a joke because it's like nowadays

it feels like it's a one-sided thing where kids have mental problems and then they say to their parents, I have mental issues. When we grew up, it was a two-sided thing. Right. Your parents would tell you their promise. Right.

Like, now it's like, you know, it seems very kid-focused. Yeah. But especially boomers, they'd go, yeah, I have a horrible life. You think I wanted to live like this? And you'd be like nine years old sitting there on a station wagon in front of a blockbuster. They go, yeah, I didn't want to live like this at all. You think this is what we want it? Right.

And it's so interesting because that it doesn't seem to happen as much now. No. It seems like it's a very one-sided thing. Yeah, just fielding the kids' problems. Right. And you can just kind of shut up about your stuff. This is amazing, by the way. This bread is like as good as it gets.

All right. I mean, this is killer, killer, killer bread. And how did you find the right mix, the starter? I started. A friend of mine gave me a starter. My daughter started a starter for me like 12 years ago. And then I started researching flowers when I'm on the road, I would go to bakeries and just kind of like hang out

and see what they've got and see what the stacks of flour were. And then I found this central milling company. And I started ordering the flour. I get like 50 pound bags of flour delivered to my house. When everyone talks about American wheat being manipulated, people go to Italy, you go to people with gluten insensitivity, go to other countries and they have bread and it doesn't bother them. Is that something that's true or is that something people say?

Because I don't know. I think it's true. Uh, there's definitely things added to our bread, like commercial bread that, like if I have friends that have gluten kind of issues. Yes. And, you know, they're not celiac or anything, but they can eat my bread because there's only flour, water, salt, and yeast in this. Anything you get in a supermarket is going to have all this extra shit in it that's going to make you sick. Like why after centuries when we show up is bread bad? Right.

You know, I mean, people have always been. So if you eat pure bread, you know, you know, you eat pure bread. you're fine. But with the flour, we have enriched flour in this country, which means that it's, there's minerals added to it.

And I saw a guy saying that that's the cause of us feeling like shit after we eat bread because you're using enriched flour. Wow. Where in Europe they don't. Yeah.

So this is not enriched flour. So you should feel amazing after this. Well, that's a high bar. Amazing. But no, I mean, it's amazing. it tastes good. There's so much, I think, in the American diet that's obviously not great. Yeah.

And bread is always a culprit. Yeah, they always come to bread. They're always like, yeah. And it's like, no, we've thousands of years eating bread. It's the way that makes sense. Yeah. In your specialty, you talk about your friendship with RFK Jr. Yes, yes.

Are you really pals? Well, we've gone out to dinner a few times. We're not like the greatest of friends, but I find he's a very interesting character. Right. And I think a lot of what he says is very interesting. How do you approach the world this way? Because yeah, you, sure. The reason I love you so much is I, and I think I told you, like, I think it was during the pandemic. Like, yeah, I was using you as a voice of reason because you were, you were just, you really have such a great way of breaking through and looking at the

world in ways that a lot of people maybe, don't you call bullshit on a lot of stuff. But where does the bullshit stop? Yeah. Like, where does breaking through the traditional bullshit stop? And then now we're into new bullshit. You know what I mean? And I use RFK Jr. as like that example. He's saying stuff that's like, yeah, we have a lot of shit in our food.

And we have a lot of stuff. And then he gets to this other spot where you're like, well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait. Yeah, I think that the way I approach it is when I do my show, I look at the news. And I try to find what's funny about it. And often what's funny about it is what's absurd and crazy where something doesn't make sense, right? Yeah. And I think there's a lot of RFK that makes a lot of sense

and there's a lot of things that don't make a ton of sense, right? Yeah. Like his crusade against popper seems odd. Right. It seems odd. Like, I don't think that's why kids are fat, right? Or like touting that like beef tallow French fries at steak and shake are a great, like to me, it's like,

no, no, no, it's shut down steak and shake. use the military to close steak and shake. It's not like, hey, in one of the, it's just like American fast food using beef tallow and the fries. What interests me about him is that he has been saying a lot of the same things for a very long time. People that say the same things for a long time interest me because they're, you know, they're like out there on an island screaming. Yeah.

And then eventually a boat lands on it with people and they start listening. And then you have to analyze why that's happening. And I think a lot of people felt like during the pandemic that public health had become confused with politics in this weird way that people felt very uncomfortable with. And I think that they were looking for a viewpoint outside of the mainstream. And I think RFK is this interesting guy. he's a Kennedy, but he has this voice. But he has, he has this thing.

And so it makes him this over the top character. And he's a guy that was like a hero of liberals for a long time because he was going at polluters. Right. This was RFK's entire thing. He was like going at polluters. And then vaccines became his main thing. But as I understand it, like for the most,

for the majority of his career, he did a lot of like environmental activism and stuff like that. Yeah. And this thing about vaccines were, is I'm no doctor. I'm not a biologist and I don't really know how effective these things weren't. I got the COVID vaccine.

Then I got COVID like four times. Not an ideal product. You know what I mean? Like in the most generous understanding of it, not an ideal. Like, would have loved to get it two times after the vaccine,

in that four or whatever it is, three or four. So it's like, I feel like a lot of people were just distrustful of that. So when I look at a guy like RFK, I have not done any research about vaccines and autism. I don't plan to.

Right. That's not how I'm going to spend my day. So if you're listening to my podcast to get a real answer as to whether vaccines cause autism, you should not listen. Right. If you want to,

if you want to listen to that covered as a story by a comedian, then I'll do that. Right. But I'm not doing the research. in the lab. And I'm also, I don't have children. It's not an issue to me that is affecting me.

Right. So I haven't even done like a ton of research into that issue. Yeah. Because that's the big issue that comes up when it comes to him. Yeah. And everybody goes, well, what about what he says about vaccines? Not just when I go, I cover what he says. He believes what he says.

Right. He truly believes it. Yeah. And that's where I, now why does he, believe it? Is it cynical or is it a deeply held belief? Well, the reason I look at him as an interesting, he's been saying the same thing for a long time. Right. And it could be kooky, because sometimes he does do stuff where it's like, you know, he'll say like the microwave gives you AIDS or something. Yeah. And it seems to not. Right? Like, it seems to not.

Right. So there is like, there is that thing where it's like, I think it's like, I don't think comedian swayed the election. I don't think, I think they lost to this guy twice. I think it was very easy to blame Joe Rogan and Theobon. I think it's very easy to blame podcasters. I get it. Right. He definitely had bromentum.

He had bromentum, but also it's like if you lose twice running a wildly unpopular candidate from the, you know, middle of the party. You didn't really run Bernie. You didn't run a disruptor. You ran kind of an establishment status quo candidate. all times, who's relatively unpopular, not super likable.

You know, this one was a little less articulate than Hillary. And this one emerged after an octogenarian guy who you said was okay, came out in a debate and seemed like he had passed on. Right. So I feel like there's a lot of like introspection that needed to be done and they didn't do any of it. And then you just said, well, these guys with podcast,

I can't believe it. So I think it's like, I think people overstate our influence. Certainly mine. I mean, like, and nobody really overstates mine. They're not writing articles about me. They write articles more about the guys with bigger platforms. Yeah. My shows listened to by a lot of interesting people.

Yeah. Like, they'll reach out to me, go, I found this really funny. And that surprises me and I go good. But I just, I never bought that thing. I just don't buy into that that, like, we're super influential. Right. I think there's definitely influence. There's probably influence for sure.

You know, I mean, you know, Joe is, Joe's, is powerful. Does this show bigger than mine? Statistic? I mean, look it up. Yeah. I don't know. No, I got to be honest with you. I don't, I've, the numbers are, no, I'm kidding. Yes, he is more influential than the rest of us. He has the biggest media platform in the country. But by the way, you know who's also influential? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is influential. A lot of mega celebrities with a massive social. media followers also are influential. Yeah.

Like, Beyonce is influential. So you had a huge, like, you know, amount of celebrities come out. And listen, Joe's full, you know, he's an influential guy and he's got a show that lots of people listen to. But on the other side, you have a ton of mega famous people with social media followers, 100 million people. Yeah. 150 million people. Taylor Swift sold more tickets probably than anyone else in history. And she's coming out and going vote for Kamala. So I just feel like it's, yes, I'm sure there's a certain degree of influence. But there's this whole idea of like, are you using your influence responsibly? And I think that's an unfair burden to put on someone who has a podcast.

It just became popular. Yeah, it's just like, listen, if someone's going to sit there. there and and have a show where they bring people on and have conversations with them, everyone has the opportunity to do that show. And the people that don't do that show can't complain. Right. I agree. You might go, well, Joe wasn't as hard on Trump as he should have been. That's a critique.

But he's having a conversation. And here's a reality. If Kamala came on and he had a conversation with her, there would have been people going he wasn't hard enough on her because that's the way it were. You're never going to be hard enough on. Right. People. We had, Vance came on our show.

We immediately emailed. Tim Walson went, hey, the vice president reached out to come on. Do you want to come on? No response. I just reached out to Bernie Sanders, who I agree with a lot of what he says. Yeah. And I said, would you like to come on the show? I'll fly to you.

Uh-huh. They don't want to come on. Oh, really? Gavin Newsom doesn't want to come on. They don't want to come on. So the reality is it's a little tiring to keep getting blamed when you offer a, and then they go. Well, let's say it is a hostile environment for Democrats on these shows.

Right. Putin? President G. You're not going to go to Theo von? Right. That's crazy. That's insane. That's insane that you're not going to go on these shows.

I would never yell it. I never yelled at anyone on my show. I've never yelled at any person. I don't get yelled at Bernie Sanders. I agree with a lot of what Bernie Sanders says. Right. I think he's full of integrity. He's probably really good guy.

Yeah. And the thing that, uh, that's pretty obvious because it's all comedians. Yeah. And nobody really is an expert. Yeah. No. If you are someone that wants to get your message across, go to a comedian's podcast because

they don't know a lot. And they're going to be, they're going to kind of agree with you by the time you're going out the door. Because you're the last guy to give them information. I have no like agenda in terms of like when somebody comes on. I would ask questions and I go like, what do we think about this? What do you think about that? And they would answer.

And I think the reality is it's not the job of any of us to get these people elected. Right. It's not the job of like, you got to go to people and make your case and you don't have to do any of these shows. Yeah. No, we're fun. Yeah. And if you come on and you say something about tariffs. If you say, Tim, I'm going to explain what tariffs.

And they start doing it. A quarter away through, you're thinking about lunch. Right. A quarter, that's a generous amount of time. And you're nodding along. And at the end, you're like, I guess so. Yeah. At the end of the day, none of us know anything.

Here's the real problem with life. Yeah. No one knows anything. Yeah. They don't really know that much either. Right. We're all just kind of saying, this could work. We're doing comedy.

They're doing an version of it where you, like, throwing premises out. Yeah. They're just kind of going like maybe you go to downtown LA and you go, this is tough. How do you fix this? Yeah. No one really knows. There's ideas.

Well, we'll build housing in the desert. All right. Well, we'll build skyscrapers. Put him in there. Okay. Well, no one has a crystal ball and nobody knows. Yeah. So everybody's just kind of dancing around going, does that sound good?

Yeah. It's just a game of, does that sound good? As long as I've been alive, you know, I've heard that potter. politicians come out and they go, they go, strong families. Yeah, I like that, you know, jobs. That's a good one. Schools. Schools.

Education. Education. People nod in the crowd. People start nodding in the crowd like, oh, yes, education. We forgot about that. That's an important one is it. So it's kind of just like, you know, I don't, I don't know. I'm no expert in tariffs.

I'm no expert in vaccines. Right. I just look at the world and I go, what to me is funny and crazy. Right. You know what I mean? Do you have a, do you have a, uh, carlin-esque, uh, view of, hey, I'm just going to watch this place go down or are you, remember like Carlin got to a point, to a point where he was like, yeah, I don't care anymore. Well, he was, you're all insane. He was a genius. So I wouldn't ever, you know, I'm not saying that, that, that, that worldview of, I think to do my show. Yeah. The way that I do it. Doug Stan, I bet a great quote once, people go,

why don't you care about politics anymore? He goes, remember when I cared and how little it did? I love that quote. Because he's like, remember back when I cared and how little that mattered? I have to do my show what I find the funniest and I got to cover things the way that I find them to be interesting and funny. What happens to America is going to be out of my control. It really is. It's actually going to be out of most of our control.

I know that doesn't sound great. because people want to believe that they're flying the plane. That they can, yeah. I think that you have a lot of tech. Our phones have changed more of our lives than any president. So a lot of the things that are going to end up changing our life are not from the realm of politics. Politics dominates every conversation right now.

Yeah. But what people pay far less attention to is tech is the business world, climate, all these things, right? that are changing the way that we live in ways culturally that I think are probably more dramatic than politics. Obviously, I'm not a nihilist where I'm not going to, I'm not like, let's everybody's going to, let's have a military hunt to take over and start killing people.

Right. Unless they're the people I want killed. So, I mean, if we could square that before it happens. So there's a line and a limit to all of our, but I just don't think it's moralizing, isn't funny and it's not interesting. Going on my show and going, like there's this guy who killed himself in the Hamptons.

Uh-huh. And when you looked at the thing, half of the comments were divided between people that were angry that there were rich people that existed. Yes. Okay? Uh-huh.

And then people that felt really bad for his wife and child. Right. And then those people were fighting with each other. Uh-huh. You know, the I hate rich people, people were fighting with. And my take on it was,

I'm mad that he killed himself because the Hamptons, just like Aspen or Palm Beach or Greenwich, Connecticut was not built by giving up on the scam. You go till the end. If you're a scammer, you keep fighting because that's what built this country. This country is not built by people who say, well, I'm out of here. Times are tough. You go further down. And that to me was the most interesting and funniest way to look at it. But if I'd approach it from a more.

moral position. Number one, I don't know these people. I don't know this guy. I don't know his wife. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about them. So I have to just judge it as con man in Hampton kills himself. Right.

And the funniest angle for me or the most interesting angle is like, no, no, no, you don't give, stop. You don't give up. You keep going. There are people right now that we're dancing on Jeffrey Epstein's yacht. They're fine. You know why? They don't stop lying. There's nothing less American to me than getting honest late in life.

There's nothing less American. It is the least American thing you can do. Like the deathbed confession. Right. It's the least American thing you could do. Lie more on this. Tell a story on the deathbed that implicates other people before you go. Yeah.

I think you should run for president. It's coming after this bread. I have other questions that have just been. on my mind. Please. What dessert would you compare yourself to? What dessert? I'll tell you right now,

a chocolate souffle because you have to order it at the beginning. It may not come as you want. It's a real hazardous trip from the kitchen to the table with the chocolate soup like. Have you ever gotten

so lost out in the world that you thought you might die. Interesting. I once was in Long Island, down the Jones Beach Causeway. I don't know if you're familiar with that area, but it's a very like, you know, it was dark. It was late at night. And I kept going in a circle. I didn't realize that the exit was right there to get me home,

and I just didn't know my car was on E. And I was driving an Oldsmobile 88, like a real, like it was not. And I thought to myself was a very cold. winter night, you know, and I was like in a cell phone, there's no service and everything. And this was years ago and I said, if this, I'm going to have to walk. I wouldn't have died maybe. Right. But I would have had to walk.

Right. Which to me is death. Death. The idea of just walking. So, but there's been times, you know, I went from, during the fires, I drove from Palm Springs to Vegas. Oh, yeah. I drove through the Mojave. I didn't realize I was driving to, they just take you on a road.

Yeah. And then you lose all service. And you're in the middle of the desert. And it's just me in a car. Yeah. And I was like, if this, you know. Yeah. And it was during the day, thank God.

But when you get out to those areas, like needles, these little towns, they're just, you know, if you pop a tire or something, it could be fucked. Yeah. And what's really creepy about it is when the sun goes down, desert people come out. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, interesting. They just kind of like come from behind. Oh, guess what?

They're my stance. Oh, I have no worry of them. My people. You just comforted me. I will be fine. If that's the case, I'll be fine. Are you ticklish? Yes.

Where? I don't know. Upper thigh? Probably like, ribs. Around here. Around here? Yeah.

I think so. I'm going to find out. I don't tickle easily. Right. Yeah. I'm not like, I'm not one. of these people who's like

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to really get in there. I'm going to run down the hall and go pee because I have to. I did it. Congratulations. Thank you. I have a thing now. I guess it's age. But if I have any

alcohol the night before. You have to use a bath. And then have coffee in the morning. It goes. I'm like running. I just got a text. I think I'm the secretary of the treasury now. Because he resigned. I just got this text. He resigned. I'm doing a lot of different things.

And that's what I want people to respect. No, I'm kidding. I should, because it will, that is funny, though. It would be good. I'm no longer in this to sell tickets. I'm in this for the Secretary of Defense to put my stepmother in jail. I'm not going to compete with Matt Rife with ticket sales. I just want the machinery of the government to be weaponized against my enemies.

That's all I want here, Tom. I can't ask for it all. I can't ask for it all. I'm not going to be. on a Netflix rom-com with my shirt off. I just want people I dislike in prison. I'm kidding, my stepmother. It is funny, though, when you were talking about

how no one's in charge. Yes. Like, when you look at the people who've been put in charge, it's like, we're really going to find out. Yes. We're really about to find out whether or not you can put crazy people, crazy looking different people in all these positions,

and have it work? Or do you need people, grown up older people in suits to do it? We're going to find that out quickly. We really are. We're going to find it out quickly. We really are. You have a very funny joke in your special

about kids declaring that they're a hawk. Right? You say a hawk? I mean, I'm sure. I don't want to give it away because it's, I don't want to give it away, but it's about kids identifying. Yeah. Just saying whatever they want to say compared to when you grew up and your parents would be like, shut the fuck up. You're ruining my life.

Yeah. I think that what I would like to see for younger people is that they really embrace their personality. And listen, anyone you identify however you want. I don't really care as long as it's not too annoying. There's an annoying meter that everybody needs to understand. we've lost this concept. I'm like, you can't just bother people all the time. There was an understanding at one point in life

that like during the 90s, this is very interesting decade where it's like individualism. If he jumped off a bridge, would you do it? That was like the thing that everyone said. Like, you know, I was caught smoking cigarettes in the park and well, my friend was doing it. Well, if he jumped off a bridge, would you?

Like, it was this individual culture. And it was just like, yeah, just do whatever you want. Like, and just don't hurt people, don't harm people, and then don't ask people to constantly co-sign what you are doing. I'd like to get back to a little bit of that, where you just have like, you know, you have a reasonable expectation. Do your thing, but keep it to yourself.

I don't, you know, this obsession with the parents, my parents don't agree with me. What? Like, leave your home, get a life. Yeah. And have the relationship with your parents that a lot of people have, which is kind of a strained, awkward. forced thing that's loving,

but also like we're just different people. And you don't have to see them more than three times a year. Yeah, we're different people. It's okay. It's not a, it's not a, like everybody's constantly going for these affirmations. I need the world to affirm me.

That doesn't interest me. Right. People going, I need everyone to agree with me. That, also strangers. Right. I need strangers on the internet to agree with me. To approve. That doesn't really interest me.

I think when you're young I think you tend to think that those things really matter Yeah As you get older you realize oh you get a small circle of friends If you're lucky you have a job you like You're in love with someone Or you tolerate someone or somewhere on that spectrum And that's that and you get a bread

And that's it You know what I mean? Like everyone wants way too much out of life A hundred percent And demands way too much out of life Yeah everyone wants weight They want to love what they do And they want everyone to love them

Yeah They want to be on a journey that people respect and think is necessary. The best advice I could give to my children was lower your expectations. Yeah, I mean, the relationship you should have with your parents is the relationship that my father has. I love my father. But he called me and he goes, David Spade mentioned you on Howard Stern. And I went, oh, that's awesome.

And he went, ah, and that was it. So that I think is the goal. I don't think it should be like this where you're constantly telling them about every single thing that you figured out. Yeah. Now, this leads me to an uncomfortable moment that we have on this program because you don't really follow trends and you're kind of your own guy. But we found this on the internet where a tracker jack staff. It seems like you went through a furry stage where you were trying to get people to. Yeah. And by the way, I would absolutely wear that. I know that that's AI, but I would have just dressed up in that for the photo.

Uh-huh. What's interesting about furries to me is that, let's say something nice about them, they don't seem terribly concerned with other people's views. Like, I haven't seen yet the furry community come out and demand to be respected. Right. And that's kind of comforting. As much as I'm not a fur—I don't like warm garments. I just—I think there's something nice about going, yeah, I'm a furry. I'm just doing this.

I'm just doing this. you don't like it, but I don't care. I don't know every fetish and every single thing has to be paraded around. Isn't the point of it all that it should be a little hush, hush? I don't know if you should walk into a Bank of America, dress like a fox, and I demand to be respected. Doesn't I take the fun out of it? All right, back to some questions.

These are very important. These are the ones that really mean something to me. If you had to give your phone to one person for a whole day, and they can't reveal that they have your phone to anyone they contact, who would you give it to? Oh, so they could just see all the text messages? My maid is trustworthy. Yeah.

Yeah, and doesn't speak English. She has no idea what's going on. Do you think you'll be able to keep her now that we're a trillion dollars in the hole? I think so. I mean, she's a citizen. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, that's good.

Did you check that or it just kind of worked out that way? No, look, most people are citizens. that's the other thing. There's obviously people that are not citizens. There's a lot of people that are citizens. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's very weird. Like a lot of people came out like Trump thinking they're like,

they would go up to people. Like, it was kind of patronizing him and be like, we were so sorry about this. And it's like, Mexican families have been like, no, we've been citizens for generations. I like, I know what you're trying to do. I know what you think you mean? But like we're like citizens.

This is it, you know what I remember? Yeah, exactly. We're just Americans. What hill would you die in? on? The one that separates Studio City from the hill of like, I think if we start, you know, because of what I do for living, what we all do for living is to talk shit. If you couldn't talk shit, I would die on that hill.

Right. Obviously, because I think the first people, they get rid of her people that talk shit. Yeah. And then that's the hill I die on because it's like, that's why, you know, I think Trump said a lot of interesting things since I agree with. things they disagree. When Elon Musk comes in, I'm like, this is cringe. I say that.

People get mad at me. I don't care. Guys, you know, on ketamine running around with a chainsaw. Which is, as I say it now, it's actually something I think is probably fun. Is it good for us? I don't think so. If I'm a comedian or if I'm a guy to talk shit and I can't talk shit about that, then that to me is a problem. Right.

So I want to just talk shit about the things that I find funny and silly. and RFK has a sense of humor. A lot of these people have a sense of humor. Who is your audience? Like when you say that people get mad at you, like for the E-LON, like... Oh, I have people that will get mad at me for all kinds of things.

So there are people that feel like I... That they like him. Uh-huh. And they're fans. And for whatever reason, they think I have my read on him is wrong. Uh-huh. And then there are people that think

my read on this person is wrong or that person is wrong. And... So do you get a lot of back and forth from your audience? I get people that aren't happy with the things I say all the time, but I think that my whole thing is I'd rather have less of an audience. I just want to say what I think.

Right. So like I think, if I didn't say like the things that I think, it wouldn't work. Right. So people, people I think at the end of the day also just can also go like, I don't agree with you. That's great. Yeah. As long as it's interesting, hopefully, to listen to.

Do you feel like most of the people are just in on the joke of you just being funny? I think a lot of people will enjoy it. I think a lot of people, humor is not for everyone. Right. So when you're on the internet, there are people that, and there are people that are not acquainted with humor at all. Yeah. And there are also people that are just very sensitive,

meaning like, let's say I, I've disagreed with people and found their read funny or interesting. Mm-hmm. And I think there's an inability with some people to do that. Right. Some people, like, there's people that really agree with Elon and go. I think everything he's doing is great. But yeah, it is crazy to be out there. would a chainsaw seemingly an academy in rage with like a medallion dressed like run

DMC or whatever he's doing. Unelected. Yeah. Right. And I do think that there's people that just will look at that and go, yeah, I don't love that. Right. Or at least realize how funny it is and how crazy it is. Even if you agree with him, you have to understand that that is an objectively funny image.

That actually is the most dangerous things when people do. don't have a sense of humor. That's fundamentalism, right? It's the same thing you'll find if you go to some religious cult. Yeah. And you try to make fun of the leader of a religious cult. Right. And no one can get behind it.

It's because they've traded in their critical thinking for just like raw, you know, like, you know, subservience and allegiance to a person. It seems like what's going on right now. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. It should, you should criticize, you know, people. You shouldn't be all in on one person. Shouldn't be all in on anyone.

Yeah. Never. Are you all in on me? Yes. You're the one person that I feel like. You make bread. I mean, this is what is really that I would have an issue with? Right.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's my whole goal. Have you ever thought that you might die? Yeah. I was a drinker for a long time and I was, you know, did drugs.

So that is not good. Mm-hmm. And I think we're all going to do. I know. That's my hot take. Yeah. When's the most, what's the, we always think, like, well, like I had, like, acid reflux and I was like, this might be when you said the colonoscopy. I'm like, oh, this feels weird. Right.

Maybe this is what's going to kill me. What's the last one of those? The last one of those, I was, I'm trying to think I was just, I think it was on a plane, and I just had like an anxiety attack. Oh, yeah. Kind of on a plane. Mm-hmm. And I think like.

Re-clustrophobic? I am a little claustrophobic And I am a little like You know when things you're out of my control I don't love him I just had like an anxiety attack But it passed But you know you have that moment

In the anxiety attack Is this it? Because you don't really know what's going on And then immediately you're able to recognize Oh it's anxiety it's okay Right You know Yeah

Or it's not Because one of them won't be But that one was The claustrophic moment I had I was on a small Connecting American Airlines connector Like one of those where You see big men

Get up like punched over walking to their seat. And you're like, oh, shit, this is. And it was in the back window. So I'm tight. I'm in the back and I'm tight. And there's people around and I'm feeling. I don't really get claustrophobic that often,

but this was bearing down on me. Yeah. And in the middle of it, this woman behind me just starts going, I can't, I can't, I can't. Right. She's saying out loud everything that I was feeling. Right. And she got up and got off the plane and left.

and left and something about seeing her misery calm me down oh that's good right yeah yeah yeah so i'm i think i'm gonna we were on a fight the other day we turned around an hour into it because some guy threatened a flight attendant we had to land back at l a x no but i missed a gig and i was so pissed no yeah because like apparently he said something that warranted flying and returning to l a x and kicking him off the plane i don't know what it was but oh you know the fbi i came on the plane it was a whole thing oh and dragged this guy off the playing. I was like, this is insane. That's crazy. And you missed the gig? I miss the gig.

Son of a bitch. What it is. Did you just go back home? Yeah, because it was west to east. Right. So you're playing with, there's no time. There's no time. There's no time. I know. And the flight was delayed, and then we got on the flight, and then it was this nightmare. Being you're so successful at stand-up and your podcast, do you care or have a read on what's going to happen with the rest of show business?

Well, it's really nice for you to say I'm so successful with those things. I don't know. I mean, I tend to believe that people are always going to want to be entertained. Yeah. And I just don't know what form that's going to be. I think the real debate is film.

That seems to be the most interesting attention point. I don't know. I think streaming seems to be, you know, a somewhat consistent thing where shows pop and then you get a Yellowstone, you get a severance, you get it to this, you get it to that, people love it, whatever. Where is the movie business in five years?

That's really interesting. Yeah. What happens to film? Yeah. Do we tell stories that way? Do people want these things? Do people care? I just did a great movie with The Ovonne and David Spade.

I think it's really funny. It's called Bus Boys. And I think that's going to be really good. You play a Busboy? I play the manager. in the restaurant. Oh, nice. And it's an amazing, really funny movie.

So I'm hopeful that things like that coming back will make people remember like, oh, this is really cool to like, you know, and Gen Z goes to see films, horror movies and things like that. Like they, I do think nothing will ever go back to what it was. Everything's going to be different. Yeah. But I wouldn't, I don't know that I'd give up on people being entertained. I think the Hollywood system is in deep trouble.

Yeah. The system of Hollywood, meaning a tightly controlled, very massively funded, large, you know, sector of the economy controlling content is probably done for forever. Right. I think a lot of stuff is going to be created independently and then trickle up into the system. Right. And that seems to be happening already. And I think that will be the future. And then I think Hollywood will adapt to that, probably shrink.

Right. I would imagine the business is probably roughly half the size it is now. And it'll spread out. I think it won't only be in L.A. I think you'll find lots of different things. Do you think that L.A. will still be a viable place to live? Yeah. It's a vassal state of China right now in terms of the real estate.

I mean, the high-end real estate is being sold mostly to Chinese, nationals. Right. And this is from real estate agents I'm friends with, truly. I mean, nobody can afford to buy a $25 million house in the Beverly Hills flats unless you are bringing money in from another country for the most part. There could be a debate about that and should be. But the real estate, foreign money has replaced American money in the high-end real estate market in Los Angeles. So it's not going to be a crash. But in terms of a viable place to live, I mean, that's going to be, that's a real interesting conversation about what determines that. Yeah.

But it is, and whether you have to be here for a show business. Yeah, but the big money will keep rolling into Southern California because of the weather and because of the name recognition and because people appreciate it. And it, you know, it's an amazing city. But, I mean, people are going to get priced out. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah.

And so many people, though. Like when you just, yeah. It's just that, I mean, millions of people. just you know we made it we made a decision a long time ago that it's that it's just good to have a real estate market that doesn't stop right that will just house as well sell for more and more money yeah and that we made a decision and boomers were big big in that because they're that's their big asset so as it goes up and as their kids are impoverished and destroyed they're happy right because they're You know, they're doing good.

So we've made that decision that there's no end to up with the real estate markets. It's why there's houses in Bel Air for $180 million. It's absolutely silly. It's fake. It's not real. That's not worth $180 million. Right. But it's just a showpiece to launder money.

So as we've made the real estate market in all these cities, by the way, Manhattan, Miami. It's all money laundering. So when people go, is it a viable place to live? It's like, not for you. Right. Do you feel like, do you feel like we're any, how far back have we returned since COVID? I don't think we'll ever go fully back. I think we're more in, I think we're like more online now than ever. And I think we'll probably end up kind of being online a lot. And I think people stay in their houses a lot.

And cities like LA, New York don't feel the same. I think culturally, we are in an interesting place because I think that what, COVID did was it broke the stranglehold that these legacy systems had on things like entertainment and people are, you know, and media in general. And I think for good and bad, there's positives and negatives to everything. But like, I think that you're going to see a lot more, you know, independent films. and shows and comedy specials and podcasts and, you know, all of those things are coming. And I think, you know, artistic life could get better. I think politics has drowned everything out.

Yeah. But I think if politics takes a back seat and then people start realizing there's more to life than politics. Yeah. Now that you have all of this new distribution models, really interesting shit could get made. Amazing stuff could get made. That's what I keep hoping for and waiting for. I'm like, where's like the grunge movement?

Where are the pissed off kids? Yeah. Where, like, is the breakdown of all of it going to negate that? Or is it still possible for, like, a Kirk Cobain to, like, rise up? Yeah, I think it is. It's hard, it's hard to know how, but I think it is. I think that people are going to be out there, like, you know, doing cool shit. Poor and pissed off.

Yeah. Right? They're certainly going to be poor. Yeah. I absolutely going to be poor. And how do you? you plan on separating yourself from the pores? Well, I think I've done a good job with where my homes are.

And I've just followed others. Right. I didn't invent these places. These are just places where people have traditionally tried to stay away from the people they grew up with. I don't even mind the poor as much because there's always a barrier between the real poor and you. Right. It's the middle class I find the most grotesque. because they're my friends and family.

And I've only escaped it by pure accident of being this kind of like loud mouth. You know, but like, no, I just, I think it's all going to be okay. Yeah. You do? Yeah, in a bad way. Uh-huh. You know what I mean?

Like, it's, you know, there is a certain acceptance of the fact that, like, this is a real weird world we're in and it's kind of a lot we're in with technology. and things that I think that the debates we're having now, we're not even, I think the debate sooner like, are we, do we stay human? Yeah, I know. So I think that it's just gonna like,

it's gonna be quaint. Tariffs are gonna feel quaint in 10 years. Right. I think so. It's gonna be like, yeah, why do you mean you haven't adapted? Right. You didn't put that thing in your brain

that gives you all of this knowledge? I think we're going in that direction. I think so too. So that to me is like, do you get to that point where you don't care? It's like, not that I don't care, but I just see like, I don't see an escape.

from that. Right. Unfortunately, I don't see an escape from that. The way that we just acclimated to DoorDash, the way that we just, it would be unthinkable to, when I was growing up that you'd eat sushi in your couch. You'd go to a sushi restaurant.

There's a guy that makes sushi in front of you. You sit there politely, it's a thing you do, and it's a cool thing you do. And now you just like eat it on your couch. The way we adapted to that, I think, um, I think we're going to adapt to. Yeah.

Whatever they want us to adapt to. I can't see us fighting convenience. No. That doesn't seem to be in us. That's the other thing Americans have to accept our nature. Our nature is to just kind of not fight convenience, unfortunately. Yeah. Are you a chat GPT user?

No. No. I want to resist as long as I can. I started using it on my phone with the voice prompt where you can talk to it and it talks back to you. Yeah. And I think if I use it, I think two or three more times, my wife is going to move out. Right. Well, that is a consideration.

Congratulations on the special. Thank you so much. It's so good. Thank you for having me. A lot of fun. It's really good. Thank you. And I'm really psyched for people to see it.

Thank you so much. Let's get Jerry to endorse it as well. I'm friends of his wife. I love Jessica. But no, it means a lot to be thank you. I really appreciate it. And thank you for having me in and thank you for this. Maybe.

Yeah. Now you're in a hotel when you're out here or do you have a spot out here? I sold my house. I'm in a hotel right now, but this is this go right with me. All right, good. All right. Have fun with it. Thank you so much.

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