Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 265 - Mike Birbiglia

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

This week on Breaking Bread Mike Birbiglia joins us at the table! Two Italian comedians in one booth - what could go wrong?! Tom and Mike share old Comedy Cellar stories, discuss thoughts on the Pope, and whether or not they would feel comfortable sharing a sleeping bag. Enjoy!  Check out Mike's new special The Good Life on Netflix May 27th.  Thank you to Last Bottle Wines for sponsoring this episode. Use the code PAPA at checkout to get 10% off your next order. That’s lastbottlewines.com — code PAPA.  ------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:00:27 Patreon Shoutout  0:00:56 Tom and Cynthia's support of Mike 0:03:04 Mike and Tom's "falling out" 0:04:00 Bread!  0:05:08 Mike's new special and serious topics in stand up 0:09:00 Greg Giraldo and hot takes 0:13:04 Italian upbringing  0:14:47 Comedy Cellar insults  0:17:47 Permission to laugh at serious topics  0:19:33 Touring with topics you're currently going through 0:22:06 Not showing special to father  0:26:45 Advice for being a parent 0:28:52 Last Bottle Wines Ad  0:32:15 TomPapa.com 0:32:53 Dreams that come true and telepathy  0:34:25 Meeting the Pope 0:38:00 Uncomfortable Moment  0:42:25 Therapy and bad breakup 0:47:35 Mike's wife is a poet - Jokes & Poems 0:50:47 Shhh Patreon 0:51:13 Not having more children 0:52:58 Reaction to Catholic upbringing and meeting the Pope 0:57:07 Silly questions  0:58:23 Angry Mike and getting in fights 1:04:04 Writing and 80 year old Mike 1:08:08 The Good Life backdrop painting  ------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Patreon - Patreon.com/BreakingBreadWithTomPapa Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Publily, savouring, admiring, and profite. Via Raille, the voice that we love. Do you go to therapy? Do you need therapy?

Your show's enough. I've been in therapy since I was 22 years old. Why isn't it working? It's worked incrementally. Right. And the fact that you're criticizing the work I've done in therapy. I asked a question. Oh, you're one of those podcasts.

You approve of that? I'm just asking Mike for Biglia questions. It's Breaking Bread. Hey, everybody. Great way to support the podcast and all of the crazy stuff we do around here is to join us at Patreon. Patreon.com. Look up Breaking Bread with Tom Papa and you will have access to hanging with us when everything is over at our after show. You'll also get bonus episodes, stuff from the road, lots of cool stuff.

go over to patreon.com. We think you should join up because then we can talk more when all of this is over. You know what's funny is you, me and Cynthia driving 20, 22 years ago or something driving to a Hyatt in New Jersey,

Princeton, New Jersey. And I was this wide-eyed kid. I was like 23 years old. I was opening. She was the feature act. You were the headliner. I was, the emce.

Yeah. I was this wide-eyed kid. And I was like, what I'm going to do is, I'm going to have it be like a one-person play, but also like stand-up comedy. And of all of the people in my entire universe, you and Cynthia, because your artists were some of the only people who go, yeah, that's going to work. Really? Yeah.

I was probably just thinking about myself. No, but you really were like, you were like genuinely supportive in a universe where like, Like, no one was kind of doing that at the time. It wasn't a common thing to have a solo show or whatever. And like most people I would mention it to would be like, no. I even remember like my ex-girlfriend from that period of time, I remember going like, I think I just read a David Sederer's book. I think this is kind of what I'm like in a way. Like I'm like, it's like I tell stories.

Yeah. And she goes, no. Well, at that time it was very unusual, especially going to a Hyatt. uh, catch a rising star. Yeah, yeah. Where every, you know, it was, it was much more, anything outside of just pure like 1980s, 90s standup. Yes.

Was, you know, unheard of. I mean, that's, you know, the all thing was just starting and kind of popping off. And it was like, so to come in and say, I'm going to, you know, do anything different would be like, what are you talking about? You do this, you do this. You do this. You get on the tonight show. You do 15 minutes.

And you do, yeah. and you do your thing. That was a fun time though. It was great. Because we were all just like at our little positions and just trying to figure it out. And we loved you immediately. You guys were so nice.

And then and then we had our falling out, which we talked about on my podcast. And people email us about all the time. Really? I remember when that came out, Ben Stiller texted me. He's like, I really love this conversation between you and Tom Poppa.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, because we like really like, What's his number? 3, 2, 3. I'll say it slower. It was very grown up. It was grown up. It was with the comments that I heard about it.

It was grown up. And it was us just talking through like maybe where we had each gone wrong and could have done better for each other's friends. And I feel like we're, I think we're better for it. Absolutely. And I'm glad too because it's, you're great. And it's nice to know that, uh, we're pals.

When you come in here and you're like, oh, this is, this feels very Italian. Yeah. This feels Italian restaurant. Yeah, yeah. I baked you bread, by the way. Oh my God, that's so nice. It just came out of the oven if you want to touch it. It's yours.

It'll be done by. You don't have to eat it here. We can eat these, though. It'll be done by 10 o'clock tonight. This is millet. Oh, wow. Millet something. That's an oatmeal.

This is cardamom, which is just a spice. but it dominates everything and you're just supposed to say cardamum so people think you're cool and then these two assholes but that I made for you oh that's so nice yeah I know did you come did you come to baking bread during pandemic or were you doing it before that how dare you I can't believe we're not friends again I was you've been in for years yeah yeah before the pandemic I mean it was probably three years before the pandemic but yeah then all these pandemic people showed up So now when you're like, oh, I'm a bread baker, they're like, oh, the pandemic? And you're like, no.

It's like when you like a band before everybody else. That impression you just did of me was offensive. I wasn't doing you at that point. Oh, okay, you're doing someone else? I was doing someone else. Yeah. Oh, pandemic? Oh, pandemic.

I like that you wore this shirt on your special and you changed from the button up. Oh, from the button down shirts to like a sweater kind of thing? Yeah, it's kind of a whole new. era of me. 2025 Barbiglia is just a whole different thing. Are you getting in shape? You look like you're in shape. Special's great, by the way.

Thanks a lot. I know we said it off camera, but the listener should hear me say it out loud. It's really good. And it's touching. Thanks. But they're all touching, but it's funny. You know what's amazing about your shows? I think it's probably in other shows, but you kind of taught me it.

You don't have to do too much in the touching moments to have the impact of it being a touching peace. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you're loaded with jokes always. And then you weave in, you don't have to be heavy-handed about it. You just, if you just say my dad had a stroke

and just take a moment of sincerity. Yeah. And then go back to jokes. It's, man, the impact. It's interesting. Like Ira Glass has been like a mentor through many, many years. Yeah. And he is obviously brilliant storyteller, host and producer of This American Life.

He listened to a version of this hour like eight months ago. And he goes, it's great. You just have to have like two or three more moments where it's saying an honest thing and not asking for people to laugh. Right. What a great way to put it. Yeah. And I literally just, I wrote out a lot of like my real feelings about my dad. Like after he had a stroke and what it felt like.

and, you know, the one that, like, really hits me is, like, this thing of, like, when he was first in the hospital and, and he can't move, but you just read his expression through his eyes, and the expression of his eyes was fear. Right. And it's a, it was a worried. They look like children. Oh, my God. They look like children. And it's, like, such a, it was such a devastating thing to go through and to watch my dad go through because your whole life, you just, at least I've had this experience. If you look at your parent as, like, this larger than life being.

this mythological figure and at certain point you're like oh yeah they're just they're just yeah they're just yeah yeah the dominant uh their kids grown up load bearing wall in your life yeah and now you pop that out yeah yeah and so that's that's what that special ended up being about because it started about being when i started writing it my dad hadn't had a stroke and it was about teaching my daughter like what do i even have to teach my daughter yeah and then this thing happened and it's like oh well i I have to teach you about this. Right. You know, and it's like, well, what have I, what have I learned from my dad?

And then what can I teach my daughter? Mm-hmm. And that's how I arrived there. But it's interesting, you should say that, that it's like, you really do only need, like, two or three moments. It's like, whenever I'm on my podcast, people are always like, oh, someday I want to do a show like your shows. And I'm always like, it's not that different. Like, it's jokes. No, it's, yeah.

But it's, if they're not, you get to, in the early days when we're going to the Hyatt, that's more difficult because now people expecting you're in a nice theater and what have you. Right. I remember I had my first solo thing at Montreal and I talked about my good friend who had passed away in the middle of it. And I was running it at Gotham. Oh, wow. Comedy Club. And I remember my uncle came up and was like, what was that?

What was that? What was that part? Trust me. I've had a lot of what was that part. Right? Because you're rolling along, everyone's laughing, and then you make them feel something. And they're like, no, but wait, we just have a two-trink minimum

and we're just laughing and the opening act was funny too. Why'd you have to bring up that? Why are you talking about that? It sounds like my parents. Yeah, it's such a, it's such a, but I love the way that I were put it. Like, you're not asking them for a laugh on it. It's such a nice.

When you were telling that story, was it about Greg Dorado? No, it was my friend Keith from high school. Oh. All my best friends have died. Is that true? Mm-hmm. No.

Mm-hmm. For real, all your best friends are dead? My three main best friends, yeah. Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's in a new show called The Bad Life. That's coming out on May 29th. I feel like it's kind of piggybacking another show. Like it's piggybacking my show of The Good Life.

Oh, that's weird. I never put the two together. Oh, you didn't think about that? No. You told me you literally just watched my special The Good Life. You thought of the bad life and you didn't, it didn't cross your mind. That's similar? Well, now you say it seems stupid, not that I didn't, but yeah, no. Great.

I mean, I hope someone writes a great show about Greg Geraldo someday because he was our mutual friend. I think one of the great comedians of all time. Could have been. Or could have been. It was in kind of, he was still, he was early in his career. Yeah, it was still an embryo. And it was, you know, same with Mitch and Patrice and like all those guys had such. Kevin Barnett, same way.

They were all so, right? They were all so great. And it's like 20 years later, what would they have been, you know? Especially Geraldo. Like, I always say, like, we're living in take culture right now. It's like, if you have a hot take, people are really interested in the social media. And it's like, great, Gerald has fucking five takes a day. I know.

I had so many takes and they were so good, so fast. Yeah, I know. That's what I missed during the pandemic with stand-up was hearing everybody's perspective on what we were all going through. Yes. And it was like you needed that. And like once you start hearing stand-ups talk about being at home and the bad ones making bread, it was like, oh, it was like, and the same, yeah, I think that all the time with Greg. It's like, what would he be saying about this that I can't articulate?

Yeah. You know? He's an interesting character because he was like, he's just a real purist of a comic. Like he never, people would say, you should do a sitcom. You should do a one person show. He had a, he kind of just wanted to do his own thing. He did. He did get pulled to do a sitcom.

I don't know if you remember he had a pilot. And there was a, there was a. About being a lawyer because he was a lawyer. And he was looking into his crib and talking to his newborn, and it was like a corny. It was this corny sitcom thing that they kind of made him do. And it was like, oh, that's not, that's not Greg at all. It's just not him. Now, what he was was courageous.

I think that's what makes these people like that. Yeah. You know, when you think of like Patrice or you think about Greg, they're brave. Yeah. And I remember, I remember being at this, like, literally brave. I was at the cellar. Like, willing to be unpopular. I was at the cellar, and it was late night, and there was a skirmish.

We were all in the back, and there was a skirmish. It was like a Monday. You know, like Monday's Tuesdays late? There would not be, it would just be comics and maybe a couple people at the tables. And there was a fight breaking out. Like, it sounded dangerous. It sounded like someone was going to, like, stab somebody or something. Oh, wow.

Girls screaming, guys yelling. stuff breaking and I went like this and Greg ran directly to it. Yeah. And I always remember that. It was like in that moment, instinctually, he had bravery. Yeah. But he also grew up in New York's and learned it. I was in the suburbs watching scary things on TV.

Yeah, I can read that right in your face. When you, did you have moments with your dad and your mom and your family? in Italian settings. That probably wasn't restaurants. I think, like, the thing that is Italian about my upbringing was I was youngest of four. And it was always loud. Yeah. And so, like, if you wanted to be in the conversation, you had to be, like, either loud or funny or provocative.

Right. Or else you just get steamrolled. And, like, as I understand it, that's a very Italian cultural thing. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. My daughter moved into college with a Jersey Italian. And we're Jersey Italians, too, but we've been out here for a long.

She was raised here predominantly. And her little roommate freshman year was Italian. And she brought in like seven Italian aunts, uncles, father. And they're putting together all of, like, you know, the shelving and they're building stuff and getting it all ready. and they're all screaming at each other. Like, where are the screws? Where are the fucking screws? I don't know.

It's over here. And she was just like, oh, my God, are they in a fight? And they're like, no, this is love. That's the love language. And that's why I think that I, over the years, and I think you have this too with the comedy seller, it feels warm. Even though people are shouting at each other

and arguing and yelling, trashing people. And I'm like, I kind of enjoy being around that. Yeah, if they don't say you, you're an idiot and they keep quiet, that means they really just don't like you. I know. They don't care enough to say out loud, don't be an idiot. When you were, were you ever trashed at the comedy seller? Like, what would be the thing that people would say about you?

They would say, well, Patrice was the meanest. They was always about what you were wearing. Right, sure. You know, if you'd damn. hair wore, like, if, you know, if I came in like this, like this, they'd be like, oh, you're wearing a hoodie now. Yeah, yeah, that's right. They would just rip you apart.

It was mainly that kind of stuff. Or that I was acting nicer than I was. Right. You know. I got that a lot. Yeah. You're not this nice. You're not as nice.

That's like a classic. Look at Barbigley over there. He's acting like a nice guy. He's not nice. He's not nice. There's something under there. We're going to, one day, one day it's going to come out. But it's all, after.

all these years, I'm convinced it's all projection that all that kind of criticism. Yeah. They're not nice. And they can't handle the idea that you might actually be nice. They can't handle the idea that there might be nice people around. It's really true. Yeah. Because they're still waiting for us to blow.

I guess so, barely. Yeah. Give me Keith your perspective on Keith Robinson, who had two strokes. Unbelievable. and put out a great special after it. And after yours, of a stroke understanding of watching your dad go through it. It's funny, like, there's that great line

that Keith has where one day Chris Rock comes in calls Keith Strokey Robinson. And then what? My other favorite one is Roseboat Baker, walked by Keith. One day at the cell and goes, hey, Keith, you're still pretending you had a stroke? But that's love.

Yeah, it's love. And like, and I think like, I think Keith is phenomenal. I mean, he's an unbelievable comedian. Yeah. It's crazy that he's somehow gotten better at comedy. I know. After having two strokes,

he's putting out the best material of his career, and he's been doing it like 40 years. He's got literally grandchildren. Yeah. It's the essence of a comic. It is. he opened for me in Atlantic City. He filled in for someone who canceled last minute.

He drove him in from Philly or his son drove him in. And I remember the walk from the wings to the mic in this theater was substantial. And I'm like, how's this going to go? And he just goes out there and he's taking his time with his ambled walk. And he gets to the mic and within two lines is killing. And I was like, how's that, you know, like, how's that going to work? He's going to, they're going to be freaked out. And he's just, and he's slurring his speech and he's just, but the essence of what he is can't be squashed by the stroke.

That's right. It's interesting, like with my dad, it was, and this has always been the case, like when I talked about having cancer when I was 20 and different things that are challenging through the years. Yeah. Where the audience, when you first broach the subject, the audience gets tense. Yeah. They're like, oh, what's this going to be? Right. I had cancer, whatever.

And the cancer thing, the first joke was that I had that worked was I had cancer, but it's funny because I'm a hypochondriac, and I think the funniest thing that can happen to hypochondriac is you get cancer. Because it confirms every fear you've ever heard. You're like, see, I told you. For last week when I thought I had rickets, I was probably right about that too. There's going to be a lot of changes around here. And once I had that joke, it was like in sleepwalk with me a decade ago,

but once I had that joke, the audience was like, oh, okay, we're okay to laugh at this group of section topics. And with the stroke, the first joke that I had that worked was, you know, because my dad had a hot temper. He was a shout when I was a kid. God damn, blah, blah. Keys. Yeah, where my goddamn keys.

And I go, you know, so I see my dad in the hospital. It's devastating. You know, everything about the stroke is devastating. But I will say it has calmed him down. The audience. Once the audience laughed at that, it's like a handshake with the audience. I'm like, we're going to laugh about this thing for a little while. Right, right.

Yeah. It is like, you know, it is like a precarious thing. People always ask me like, how do you tell stories on stage? How do you do that? How do you talk about like sad things? And it's like, I think it's one joke a lot of times. It's one joke. That works.

If you can get one joke working about having cancer, about your dad having a stroke, the audience is like, oh, yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. It really is kind of amazing, though, when you have these moments in your life, and you usually have to kind of digest them and kind of figure them out and then present them. Like whenever you watch a comic when they're coming up and they get engaged or they, someone dies or whatever, and it's like, it takes a while for the act to shift. Yeah. This seems like it was happening kind of in real time.

It happened in real time. So you're kind of understanding it. and putting it out, it's pretty profound that you're able to do that quickly. It's the first time I ever did that, where I didn't, it's not a challenging thing for my past as a challenging thing for my present. Yeah.

And it was, it was honestly, well, I needed the material. You know, you criticize your dad a lot, but he gave you something, ultimately. You got to fill an hour. People can tell if it's soft He doesn't have it in him My dad's forearms are soft No I

Do you ever spank you? No, there's no hitting It was spanked It was just the yelling That was so Which one is that? This is the millet I don't know what millet

Is apple Oh that's nice That's Adding apple to it doesn't explain What it is Well no I think it does What's millet? What's millet?

What's millet? Is millet bread? I think millet's like flour. It's a grain. It's a grain. A cereal crop. Oh, all right. A cereal crop.

But yeah, it's, um, no, it was this, you know what it was, what it was is that going through this thing with my dad and it's, it's so hung a lantern on the thing I was talking about, about my daughter, which is like, I don't know how to explain things to her. And then I'm trying to explain to her, what a strange. stroke is. And I'm like, I don't even know how to explain what a stroke is. And I'm like, let me try that on stage. And then the more I was doing it, the more it was just connecting. Right. And I was like, oh, yeah, I think I can do more of that. I mean, what's crazy is, is like, I don't know, a year. I mean, he had the stroke 15 months ago. A year ago, I was

touring with an hour that had none of this in it. And now it's like half of the show. So it's pretty great. It's pretty wild. It's a strange experience. Yeah. It's weird. I mean, I got to figure out what I'm going to show it to him. Oh, really? I got to figure out whether I'm going to show it to him. Because some people say to me, they're like, they see the show and they go, you should show this to your dad. It's like a love letter. And I'm like, yeah, I know what you mean, but then I'm also like, what if it kills him? Literally he dies. Because he's already on the verge of dying. Next show.

Show number seven. He says with no hint of irony. Show number seven. You know what I literally am like, what if I showed it to him? And he fully dies. And then people, and then I get blamed,

you know, you know what's a weird part is I don't know if, not knowing the man, but knowing the man, because he described him kind of like my father. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty close. He's kind of my fatherish. Really like this big model,

this big, you know, whatever. I wonder if he would take, if he would be bumped by him being strict and stern and loud and distant than the stroke. Oh, interesting, yeah. I think he would find the stroke thing over the line. He doesn't like personal humor. He doesn't like, and he doesn't like profane humor.

So those are the two things in the special that he wouldn't love. Right. And I have a joke about asking. So he wouldn't be bumped by you saying that he was like standoffish or what your relationship was. It's weird. You know what's funny? I don't know. That's what's, I mean, that's a great example of like him being distant.

Like I don't know him well enough to know if he knows he's distant. You don't know him that well? And that's the next show. You don't know him that well? I don't think I do. I mean, I really. I mean, I'm, I'm so. saying to you right now as a hypothetical, maybe I'll show this to my dad, and I don't know how he'll react.

I don't, I mean, I really have no sense. Like, my parents, you know, my parents never really came to my shows. They never really understood me being a comedian. I remember when I was a door person at the Washington, D.C. Improv when I was in college, my dad goes, comedy club. What do they do? Strip? I'm like, no, they perform comedy. He's like, that's not your priority. And I was like, okay. You know, but it was secretly. But like.

But he had you talked in Georgetown and thought. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's not wrong. I was a full-time student. I maybe should have been doing that. But no, not at all. But I was really into comedy. And then, but my dad was in it from another era of comedy.

Like he literally was thinking of burlesque clubs. Right. Which did have comedians. and strippers. How old is he now? 84 years old. It's weird he didn't know what comedy clubs were. No, I mean, he grew up in the 40s in Brooklyn, in Bushwick, Brooklyn, in the 40s. Right.

So when he was like even a young person, it's the 60s. And comedy clubs aren't until the 80s, really. 70s and 80s? Yeah, but it does show somebody who wasn't keeping an eye on the culture. No, definitely not. You said he had his medical degree and his law degree at the same time. Yeah. So this is a guy that was, yeah.

He was smart, not of the culture. He was smart, but he was not like, we lived in Worcester. I mean, like, there wasn't a lot around. Right. Yeah. Man, that had to be hard. I mean, my parents, my father was big and tough and, you know, was a disciplinary and all that. Can't keep him away from shows.

Oh, really? from the beginning. From the beginning. Like going to like bringer shows and stand-up New York and my gosh. Just couldn't couldn't stay away from it.

Did he think he secretly wanted to be a comic maybe? He liked that I was doing something different. Yeah. He was in sales and he, but you know, he had a, he'd prefer to do something else but he was just providing

and doing his thing. And he kind of liked that I was stepping out and doing something. That's cool. Different. It was also wrapped in like, don't F it up. Right.

You know what I mean? But, yeah, I mean, a lot of comics, I think it's more, I don't know if it's more prevalent, but it seems like a lot of good comics, their parents aren't interested and don't show up. And it's like, right, right? Sure. Like, my, my folks were there all the time. Your kids are, like, grown up now, right? Yeah, 22 and 20.

Do you have advice for being, A parent? My daughter's 10 now. I don't know. I think about it all the time. You know, it's funny. Yeah, I have tons of advice because I like telling people what to do. But there is a funny perspective.

Joe has a 18-month-old. Two years old. And there is the loving, like your daughter is going to know exactly who you are. She's not going to be on a podcast in 20 years going, I just never knew him. He was so distant. You know what I mean? But the distant parents, like you see these kids who are left to their own devices, like get out in the world and make it happen to become successful. Yeah.

It's a, you know what I mean? It's a weird balance. We're not going to go back to, we're not, you can't turn on and be like a cold guy from the 40s. You could play it for an afternoon, but there's no way. Yeah. You know, you think about how many times you tell your daughter you love her in a week. Oh, it's embarrassed. Compared to what your father said to you.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. It's hard. It's, I don't know what the advice is because watching them go out into the world. It's just be around and just love the hell out of them. Yeah, yeah. They like to know that you're present.

They also like to know that you work hard. Oh, that's interesting. Mm-hmm. I've never heard that. It's true. They like to know that dad's, my mom, are up to something. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

it's like when you say like in the show that you know they're absorbing everything right it's like that's one that's a thing that you know because i'll be like there's no use in figuring out like how much should i work how much should i be on the road any of that kind of stuff it's like they're just you just live your life and they're going to glean the things from it yeah you know think you're no good or great can i just go a question question. I love that. Thank you to our friends at Last Bottle Wines for sponsoring today's show. A great sponsor fits perfect with our program. And thank you to our listeners for supporting our sponsors. It's a great way to keep everything going here at the podcast. They've got amazing wines each day.

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or if you like a Pino or whatever. And then you just start exploring order. you will not be disappointed. Thank you to last bottle wine. And we'd like to thank the good people at tompapa.com. The summer is here. I've got dates every month of the summer. I'm not taking off. Not going crazy, but I've got really great shows coming up on the East Coast, West Coast. Yeah, I'm everywhere. Go to Tompapa.com. Come out and see me this summer. We're doing great shows, casino ballroom in New Hampshire. We're going to Humphreys and, San Diego. That's going to be a big one. What a legendary place. George Carlin would

play there every single summer. Yeah, really great. Shrying on this marina. And going to Ocean City, Maryland. A bunch of places, go to tompapa.com. Do you dream things that come true or have telepathy with people you love? Dream things that end up coming true?

Or... Or both. Both. Or have telepathy with my family members. Okay. I believe that I have some kind of writing telepathy. Uh-huh. Which is to say that when I was in college, I wrote a play about a couple who, where the guy was a comedian.

And it's basically the guy being, it being them breaking up because he's, he's, he's, essentially doing all the things that my character did in the movie Sleepwalk with me, which is like he's cheating on her, he's on the road, there's all these things. In high school, you wrote that? I wrote that in college. In college. And then I got out of college, and then it was my life.

And then I made a movie about it, so it was like all became very cyclical. But like, there was a bunch of stuff like that where, like, I wrote a pandemic movie before the pandemic. And then during the pandemic, I was like, all right, well, I guess I won't do that. because it feels like we're in it. We don't really want to watch a movie about it. Yeah. So I feel like I have had that to a degree,

which is bizarre. I've actually never talked about it in anything. Yeah, no, it's a real thing. Something. I don't know. Did you tell the Pope? Did you tell the Pope that you could do it? Here's what I told the Pope.

He reached over and just speaking of my ear and goes, you're Jesus. It's weird. But now he's dead, so no one's getting substantiated. You sure he put your before it and just didn't go. Jesus. It might have been praised Jesus. I was really jealous.

You guys all got to see the Pope. Yeah, we talked about you coming, but then ultimately we decided it was for the best. I was shooting a special the same night. I couldn't cancel it. No, that wasn't it. Because he was willing to move the date. The Pope was willing to move the date.

I feel like I would have been into the Pope more than the other people. More than Rami Yousav? Yes. More than Julia Louis Dreyfus? Yes. Maybe. Not more than Colbert. Colbert was really into it.

Yeah. Conan was pretty into it. Yeah. Chris Rock was pretty into it. Yeah? Yeah. Some of us were into it. And Gaffigan, of course.

Yeah. Gaffigan was really, really into it. And he brought, like, his whole family and everything. He brings his family everywhere. It's so gross. At the last second, it is gross. And at the last, at the last second, At the last second, I wasn't going to be able to bring my wife and daughter.

We didn't have a plus one or plus two or whatever. But then at the last second, I'm at the gates of the, I haven't told this anywhere, but at the gates of the Vatican, I'm like, hey, can I can get my daughter? Yeah, if you bring them, we can. I call Jen. She's at the hotel. I go, hey, it's like six in the morning. You go, hey, I think I can get all of us into the Pope.

She goes, we're sleeping. Some people are just more interested in the Pope than others. Yeah, my wife would have been the same. My wife and I went to the same Catholic church as children. No. We had the same kindergarten teacher. Really? Yeah.

Wow. And we were a year apart, so we never met until a comic strip when we were grownups. Wow. But we went to the same church in Park Ridge, New Jersey, where Bill Maher has his opening scene for Religious. Oh, wow. Because he went there also. Jesus. Pretty funny town.

It's a pretty funny town. Any other comics? At that parish? No. No? Wow. No, I don't think so. Yeah, we went to the same one. And Bill and my wife would not beat that into the Pope.

But I would have gone. No, Bill likes meeting anybody. Yeah. Apparently. Matt Gates. The list is long. Kid Rock. No, I'm just talking. Okay. I remember Colin Quinn saying they were shitting on a comic. I won't say who the comic was. And some people were shitting on a comic in the little hallway of the comedy seller. And I said, and everyone was ripping him apart. And I said, I don't know. He's always been nice to me. And Colin's like, that's like saying, well, Hitler, he's a real bad guy.

Oh, he liked me. We got, we had a great afternoon. I always remember that. Larry David's editorial. I was so great. So great. So great. We do a thing on this program called An Uncomfortable Moment.

And this is a little different today because it's not really that uncomfortable. Okay. It's a pitch. You, uh, right? I feel so good. Can I, can I have a little bit of it right now, or it's weird if I do? You can. It's your bread. You can do whatever you want. Do we have a little thing for the olive oil? Yeah, that'll work. Someone taught me this recently. So that you don't cut your fingers. It's like you put your fist down? What are you five?

I don't know. Well, no, but I have a 10-year-old. We'd like to thank the good people. Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen and honestly priced way more reasonably than you'd expect for that kind of quality. It just makes everyday cooking feel a little more

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Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Papa, P-A-P-A, for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash Papa. That's so funny. Here's some olive oil, you walk. I've been cut my fingers off for years.

finally have a trick Use my knuckles That is really weird That's right out of the oven It's so good Right And that bright land Olive oil is great too

We get that Yeah you get this My mommy gave that to me Come on Yeah That's nice That's great Right

Who loves you? You? Yeah Awesome So Oh yeah So this is a pitch. Usually it's an uncomfortable moment.

Stuff we find out on the internet about people and present it to them. We've had some very controversial moments. Oh, right. This is more of a pitch. It's controversial just because it's a weird idea. Oh. You're legendary for your sleepwalk story. You mentioned it in this special again in a great way of talking.

Do you want another coffee? No, I'm good. You sure? Thank you, though. And it's a good. something that's not going away in your life. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. And it's, you know, people see you as connected to the condition that you have. And we were saying, maybe this is a good, maybe ad campaign that we could do. Yeah. Or maybe this is,

or maybe if you are still suffering from it, this might actually make you feel more comfortable. Okay. Once a month, you and I get in a sleeping bag. and have a sleepover. The idea that you think that would help anything tells me so much about you and also just about your desires. Like I feel like this is the kind of thing where you pitch to someone

thinking it's for them. Right. Pretending it's for them, but it's actually for you. There's truth to that. You just want to sleep in a sleeping back with me? Yeah, you and I, we have a little sleepover. I don't think you and me sleeping in a sleeping bag together would

yield an ounce of sleep. Oh, because you're ticklish? Yeah, I think I'm a little ticklish. Are you ticklish? Yeah, I'm ticklish. Yeah, I think I'm ticklish. You are? Yeah, I am.

Where on your body? I'm not saying this for our sleepover. Ticklish in the feet, because I have so much tension in my feet. You do? Do you ever go for those New York City? Well, I have this, like, Sicilian feet. You know, like bricklayer feet.

You know what I mean? It's like they don't fucking move They don't do anything Yeah, little flintstones Yeah, yeah, Flintstone feet I got these weird Flintstone feet I go whenever I go for a massage

They go Okay You know what I mean It's a lot of those What's going on down here Do you have it No, this is just my feet I don't know what to say

So they're ticklish So if your wife comes But near your feet You're just like get away Well yeah I'm concerned about people Who touch my feet Because there can be a kick

Right Like a dog like a dog Leg. A jerk. There could be a jerk. And I fear for them because, you know, ultimately, who's going to file the lawsuit? Me or them. They're going to file the lawsuit.

This is pretty brilliant. No other place on your body? Like if I came in on the sides? No, I think I'm pretty good. I'm trying to imagine. I'm pretty good. Yeah, I'm pretty good everywhere else. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Just your feet. Yeah, feet are major. Wow. It's tension. lot in there. There's a lot in there. Doing all these shows where you dig a little deeper than

I mean, I guess all comedy's digging a little bit. Sure. Are there comics admitted or not? But I guess you're a little more overt about it, but also you dig deeper. Do you go to therapy? Do you need therapy? Are your shows enough? I've been in therapy since I was 22 years old.

Why isn't it working? It's worked incrementally. Right. And the fact that you're criticizing the work I've done in therapy. I asked a question. Oh, you're one of those podcasts. You have proof of that?

I'm just asking Mike for Biglia questions. You have proof of that? You have an article on that? You want to tell me one of the articles. Yeah, exactly. Call this up. Call this up. No, it's, uh, no, it's, uh,

no, the therapy, this is embarrassing. I, I was in, I was 22. and break up with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah. And it was awful. We were living together. It was funny because I think when you me and Cynthia were in the car,

I was like, what am I going to do? I'm in this relationship, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's going to end. You got to get out of there. Or this is your other piece of advice. You keep having sex with her and pretend she's someone else. That was your genuine piece of advice.

I've remembered it to this very day. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? That's your real advice? You go, yeah, I mean, it's like, I'm just being honest, you know. Did it work? I'm just asking questions. Yeah, it worked.

It worked for 10 years and then we broke up. She's the mother of my child. No, but it was, no, but we broke up when I was like, yeah, it was 22, and I kept calling her, she was my best friend. I kept calling her to talk about our breakup. Yeah. Did she break up with you?

It was mutual. It was just kind of one of those. Yeah. We both kind of knew. things. Right, right. And eventually, we talked about it in our living room and that was it. And then I think I moved out, even though I had found the apartment, it doesn't matter. It's, I'm not better, but, but I needed, she, she, she, she goes, you have to get a therapist. Because you can't call me anymore. Right. And I was like, right. That makes sense. And I was like, I wouldn't even know

where to get a therapist. And she goes, well, here's the phone number of someone I know. And then it was her therapist's wife. Oh, wow. So, yeah, we would go to the same therapy office, and it would be these wife and husband therapist. And I still see that therapist to this day who my ex-girlfriend recommended. Wow.

Yeah, yeah. Now, without being funny, would it have been easier to just have sex with her and pretend she was someone else? I think that would have led to something akin to your marriage. 25 years of bliss A rotating cast of characters It keeps you on your toes

Without being funny Without being funny All right, you don't have to try too hard Being funny The no I don't know I think it was You still go to the same one That's wow what a relationship I'm married yeah I'm married

Yeah I'm married to my ex-girlfriend They're married to this day To different folks I'm just thinking about that How long have you been married? 16 years. Nice. Yeah.

I think she's been married maybe 20 years. Wow. Good. She's in, she's an actor in my movie, Don't Think Twice. Really? I put her in as my character's girlfriend. What?

True story. What did your therapist say about this movie? It was my wife's idea. Your wife's idea? My wife's, Jen Stein was a, Jennifer Hope'sine was a producer on the movie. movie and we're talking about it. We're like, there's this one part, and it's like a Midwestern person and woman and all this kind of stuff.

And she's, and my wife goes, you're talking about Maggie? And I was like, yeah, she's like, you can just ask Maggie to do it. She's an actress. I go, yeah. And so then, but then we couldn't, it was weird. Like, we couldn't say to the producers like, hey, I want my ex-girlfriend to play that's It would just be odd. Yeah.

So we just put her on tape. I, like, called Maggie. I was like, hey, will you put yourself on tape for this? Really? I'll see if I can, if it might work. And we just showed the producers the tape without saying anything. They're like, yeah, she's good. Oh.

That's pretty, yeah. Yeah. If I was a therapist, I'd have more to say on this. What would you say? I would say good for you. Okay. Did you fantasize about it? her when she was on set?

I fantasized about other people while I was with her on set which was your advice. That's great. That's very healthy. I fantasized with her that I was with my wife. Your wife's a poet. Yep, true story. So she sees deeper than... Yes, she very much has a

like a sixth sense of sorts. She has a sensitivity that is at times scary scarily accurate to things that others don't see and then when and then her hit rate of being right

it's like 96% but those 4% where she's wrong and convinces convinced that she's right is look out oh really yeah it's like yeah it's wild especially especially if you were right no no if she's right

right especially if I'm right She's wrong in these few moments, but you are right. Yeah. What do you call it in your special keeping score? Yeah, I say my love language is keeping score. Yeah. I very much keep score, and she does not keep score. Yeah.

Or she does, but she won't admit to keeping score. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but she's a wonderful poet. We did a thing at Symphony Space recently. We do something sometimes called jokes and poems. Oh, nice. And she'll do a poem and I'll do a joke and, et cetera,

and kind of like free associating on the ideas. Mm-hmm. And super fun. We did it in support of this great, great poet named Maggie Smith, who just had a book come out. Right. And it's, yeah, and so I think we're going to start doing it, like, a few times a year. We've done it at Largo before.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. That's really cool. Does she like reciting in front of people? She's super, super shy. She's very introverted. Right. And so I think that she loves the madness of it, but doesn't.

love it. Right, right. She loves like, this is absurd. Right. You know what I mean? But she's not like, I want to do it this every day. Do you ever write poetry? When I was a kid I did.

There was a poem I wrote when I was probably like seven or eight years old, and it was like, there's a bear in my chair. And I gave him a jar of honey, and he went away, and I didn't know what to say. And I used to read that on stage before I met Jen. I used to show it to people. Oh, really? Yeah. Because this book, this was my first Comedy Central special, like, early 2000s.

Yeah. There was this book I had of, like, it was a book of jokes, poems, and drawings. Nice. And I used to read them to people, and they would kill. Because people were just like, like, the logic of kids shit is sometimes so right on. Yeah. But also completely incorrect. Were you rewriting them in current day?

Like making up, making fun of my childhood self. But it was, yeah, that was like my, yeah, that was my first special. Yeah. And I had them projected behind me in the thing, like Comedy Central Presents. Right, that little screen behind it. Yeah, yeah. It's very Dimitri Martin. Yeah, I was ripping off Dimitri for a solid 10 to 15 years, and then I found my voice.

Yeah. Once you couldn't do the bangs. There's extra material over at Patreon. Yeah. If you guys go over to Patreon, it's a great way to support this podcast and enjoy all the extra stuff that we have bonus episodes, crazy things happening. Today I might break open one of these wines and maybe eat a Dorito. Shh. No more children, one child.

We have one child and I think that's what's going to be. It's what you're going to be. would you ever adopt someone over the age of 15? Sure. You have someone in mind? Yeah. Does some of our editing here at the podcast. Oh, it's that guy.

We'll talk about it after. Sure. No, I mean, I think I'd be open. I don't, I have no plans to do that, but I think if the circumstances were, like, there's this. I can't tell that story. Yeah, you can. Well, no. I was going to say a story, but then I'm like, no, it compromises people's well-being.

Yeah. Well, it was like, well, it was like my, I won't say the names, but like one of my relatives. That starts with grand. One of my relatives was grew up in like an abusive family and it was terrible. And my, my grandmother, Grandma McKenzie, just like fully kidnapped. her. It was like, it was a relative,

you know, they were, because she was in trouble? No, because they were being abused. The kid was being abused. Yeah, so that's like one of my relatives now.

She wasn't really in my direct family. Oh, she wasn't a family member. Yeah. It's like a different era. I don't think you could do that now. I think that that was like of a bygone era. No,

we'd all get alerts on our phone. Right. Right? She just, someone's in a Prius. Yeah, it was like a, like it was like her cousin.

Right. Kind of thing. You know what I mean? I have. And it was, yeah, kidnapped her and raised her and was a great brother to her. Do you think being raised Catholic and going to Catholic school and all that kind of stuff turned you off? Like if you would come to it later, do you think you would like it more? Weirdly, like, I feel like I've become more since going to see the Pope like a year ago.

I have realized how much I haven't explained to my daughter about Jesus. And how because I'm such a reactionary to my own Catholic upbringing, I've just been like, no, we don't go to church, we don't blah, blah, blah. But then actually like, well, yeah, of historical figures, Jesus is a pretty interesting one to talk about. Because we modeled a lot of great behavior if you believe what, you know, what the New Testament says. which who's to say

but as a historical figure is interesting when's last time you went to church it's been a decade a decade yeah I feel like if you go heavy if you're made to go heavy young it's uh it's you burn out

that's what happened to me yeah I mean I win so much I mean I talk about it in the special but it's like to the point where like I still sing the hymns in my head today the one I go keep in mind that Jesus Christ has died for us and is risen from the dead.

This will just like pop into my head. Yeah. Like I always say like you cannot be cured of that religion. Yeah. The thing is just the forever chemicals of religions. Yeah. Maybe it's a sign that it's right. Or some or that there's something to it.

Yeah, right? Yeah. I feel like that's my, that's my takeaway after all these years of like not going to church of like, well, they're not entirely wrong. Right, yeah, exactly. I can't believe you didn't ask me to go see the Pope. Oh, no, we talked about it.

We had a council. There was a council of... Who was for me going to see him? Or was it unanimous? It was for you? Who was in favor of me coming in this council, and who was against me? I think there was a group of bishops

who were not. Nazis. They're left over from Rats and Mousseline's era. And they were for you. Oh, they were for me. Yeah, they were for you, but they're just not very popular right now. But they're going to be Pope soon again. No, I don't know. I don't know which way it's headed. Did you feel something when you met the Pope? I did. I did. I felt like this is a peaceful. This is a peaceful person. And I think a lot of his rhetoric speaks to that. Oh, yeah. He was very, you know, very outspoken about America and about refugees and how we should be open to refugees.

And he blessed gay couples in the church and he did a lot of it. And he also did, and he also did not enough for the comment section. But it's, you know, you always have to say compared to what? Yeah. And compared to the person before him, he did a lot. Yeah. More than most. I have a joke about him that I always say, like, he's a good pope, but only compared to other popes.

Like, if you've met him at a party, you'd be like, this fucking guy. You know what I mean? But compared to other popes, he's amazing. I don't think that's true. I think he was pretty. No, he was a special person. He was special, yeah. I mean, like, really.

The sense of caring for every other human being. We're not going to meet the Pope again in case you're trying to make a case for yourself. Whatever. Maybe he's not dead. We had the council. We had the Tom Papa counsel. I was shooting a special, right? Joe, we were in D.C.

We were so busy. Right. You guys did seem busy. Would you rather be a monkey or a lion? I think monkey. I just think like, I know that, you know, I just feel like monkey, more escapeers. routes, it feels like. Yeah.

Crafty. Right. Lion, you got to fight. Yeah. It's like, lying, it's like you've got to fight. It's like, yeah, you're big, but it's like, it's like, you just have your, you know, you're in this position. Mm-hmm. You feel like this a little bit.

Yeah. That's your only move, I think. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. No, I think you're right. Okay. There's no wrong answer.

Are you monkey, too? I'm monkey. Okay. Yeah. Monkeys can, like, come up. to a buffet and get a roll and take off. And the lion's not doing that. The lion's got to like go kill a giant animal.

I think what got me through Catholic school was my monkey-like skills. If I'm being honest. Because everyone wanted to fight me all the time. Right. And I would just sprint away. Say something sarcastic and run. Exactly. You know, and I guess I was wily like a monkey.

You know what I mean? And I, it was, I think monkeys are survivors in that way. Yeah. Yeah. I think that I, yeah, that got me through a lot. You talk in your, not only this special, you talk about angry Mike sometimes. Yeah.

That there's a, there's an anger sometimes. What is that, what is, has that come out? Who is angry Mike? I've never seen angry Mike. I, I think it just, it stays in. Yeah, I just sometimes feel overwhelmed with anger. and then I get hot. It's funny.

Like, that's the, that's the cliche of it, right? Yeah. You get hot. Red hot under the collar, whatever it is. But it is, like, physically hot. Yeah. And, but I never, I never shout at people. You know, my dad shouted so much as a kid, and I was always, as a kid, I just remember

going, not going to do that. Right. And it is, like, one of the things, like, I just, it just feels so counterproductive. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. So just as a quiet kind of. Yeah, I think part of it is.

is just, you know, I'm very passionate about things. And then if something comes in the way of the thing that I'm very passionate about, you have to do sort of a dead stop. And then sometimes it's just bottlenecks in you and you just feel anger. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever get in a fist fight? As an adult, no.

As a kid, a lot of a bunch. When was your last fight? Ninth grade. Ninth grade. There was this whole thing. Who was it? I always say a fake name. I say Joey Grigioni.

Joey Grigioni. It wasn't that. It was something like that. That's funny. My last one was a very similar name. Like a tough Italian kid? Yeah. Yeah, it was this guy.

And it was, I would walk to soccer practice and with my other soccer players in the team. And the football team would walk. And they, except the football team had like pads and all this stuff. And we had this like back and forth with the football team. It was kind of a mock rivalry. Yeah. And then, uh, I think I was like maybe louder and more annoying than I realized.

I would say with some confidence that that's true. A fun monkey. A fun monkey. And then one day, this guy, the Joey Grigioni character, he just came, he just, he punched me in the back of the head. I went down. I didn't see it coming. He blindsided me. I'm on the ground.

It's just, you know, and it was shocking. And I just got up and I sprinted down to practice. and I taught you know my soccer coach came over to me and talked to me about it and then they had like a school discussion of it and then he that guy was suspended from the football game for one game oh one game only which he which he was furious about furious so we wanted to fight again right but he couldn't because he knew he couldn't so he just sent his other goons after me oh no so like oh my god so I would be at my locker to all boys catholic school night grade in Massachusetts. And like some random kid would come up to me like Tim or whatever. And he go, hey Mike, and turn around and you go, it's full punch in the face. Oh my God. That's for Joey Grigioni.

And then they'd leave. It was like I was in a situation where it was like like goons were beating up, beating me up for credibility with like the head goon. Jeez. It's pretty wild. It's pretty wild. Not unrelated to becoming a comedian full-time. No, not at all. There is that time in high school when guys fighting each other becomes legit offensive violence.

100%. It flips, like around 9th, 10th grade. Yes. It's like, no, this is no longer growing up, you know, wrestling around. Like, this is now a violent act. Right. Oh, that's horrible. And you just had to ride it out.

You couldn't get it to stuff. I wrote it out. Yeah, I wrote it out for the year. and then I switched schools. Oh, boy. You had to change schools. You had to switch schools. And then with the new school, when everyone's meeting each other,

and here's what I'm interested, blah, blah, blah. I just left out the part that I was completely beat up at my previous school. Right. And my takeaway from the old experience is that sometimes running away works. Yeah. Yeah, a whole new identity. Yeah. That's what built Florida.

That's what built Florida. It built New York City. It's the great Gatsby. I mean, in Los Angeles, you see that in New York and New York in a lot of places. All the time, people move there. This is who I am now. New chapter. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Wow. How many guys punched you in the face, you think? Probably four or five guys. Jeez. It was pretty hard. Enough to get out of there. Yeah.

Sometimes I see them in my audiences. Do you think they show up? No, I project them on. Yeah. On to the audience member's faces. Wow. That actually gets me very angry. So they were used to in my early in my careers.

If an audience member would just like be like talking at me or just like talking loudly or heckling in some way like I, when I was younger, I used to get really mad about that. Yeah. I don't get mad about it anymore. Taking your control. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's like, no, this is, I'm here now.

Yeah. Yeah. No doing that. It'll be in a movie someday. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of that stuff I just write into fictional things, little vignettes. Yeah.

Like a little kind of private thing that only you know about. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What's your most common comedic name? If you have a character, you want to give them a name.

I use Don a lot. Don a lot. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I think Joey's a common one. Yeah, Joey. Right. Joey, my brother, Joey bag of donuts.

Right. A little Joey. All right. Just a couple more questions. I know you got to go. Where are you going after this? I am working on writing my next movie. Today?

This morning I did. From seven to nine this morning. I mean, where are you going? Right now, so I'm meeting with people who make movies. Oh, that's cool. So, like, when I'm here, I end up meeting with people who make movies. And then, and that's my next thing. I'm going to make a movie next year.

My next movie next year. That's amazing. What's my role again? Grandfather. Grandfather. Yeah. Perfect for this question. Number two.

What a douche. What is 80-year-old Mike Barbigley going to be doing? Oh, my gosh. 80-year-old. Wow. Do you know? You have a little. an answer for this?

Kind of. Okay. So 80 year old. Oh my gosh. You really wouldn't be in a sleeping bag with me? I would do it for an hour. In the middle of the night? I think overnight.

I value my sleep so much that I don't know if we should do it. I think you'd discover things about sleep that would probably calm you. Which are right. 80 year old. First of all, I don't, it's so hard for me to do this. I didn't imagine myself being 46 years old. So I don't, I, when I think about being older, like I can imagine being 55 now. I can't really imagine being over 60, over 70.

Right. And then 80s, like, forget about it. I mean, I would say, like, I'm pretty sure by the time you're 80, it's going to be considered middle-aged. That could be. No, I think, yeah, I mean, I just hope that I'm... Where's he living? I don't know. It's, it's, I just hope we're okay.

You're going to be fine. Oh, the world? Yeah. I'm concerned about... Us making it? Yeah, because what is it? 20, 25. Mm-hmm.

So that's like 35 years from now. It's like 2060? I don't know How are we going to do it 2016 You're going to do it Okay There was a

There were two trade centers And now there's this one Oh God There was There was There was holes all over Europe And now there's Cafes

Here's what I'll say I talked about this My last special The Old Man in the pool But I think it's Swimming Hopefully swimming Swimming five days a week

Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. That's what my doctor told me to do, swim five days a week. Swim five days a week. And I said nobody swims five days a week. He says a lot of people swim five days a week. I don't think Michael Phelps swims five days a week. He said Michael Phelps definitely spends five days a week.

We agreed to disagree. So I would say my answer would be swimming. So I would say somewhere in the universe of like Florida, California, swimming, Texas, something warm. That's nice. Yeah. That's nice. And you'll still do shows. I bet you're still doing shows.

I really. hope so. Yeah. Like Newhart. Yeah. Still making stuff. Right? You don't think about retirement.

No. It's not a, right? It's not a thing. No, it doesn't appeal to me. No. Why would you stop doing the one thing you really love? Yeah. My dad didn't stop being a doctor until

last year. I mean, he was 83 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you got to keep going. Oh, one last question. Who painted the, what was the picture? So the design of the backdrop was Bayouie.

Wolf Barrett, who's a two-time Tony Award winner. He's done all six of my solo shows. He's amazing. Oh, he's done all of them? The actual painting was done by a woman, a Ukrainian painter named Arena Porcinagina. She flew in for a month and painted. That's an actual canvas. I've never seen a comedy special that has an actual canvas painting.

Whoa. And she painted it. And then we're cutting it up. We cut it up and we're giving different segments of it to check. and I'm going to have a segment of it on my wall. Ah, our living room, yeah. It's moving. Isn't it amazing?

Yeah. I've never seen anything like it. I, it's stunning. Wow. But yeah, but arena is amazing and Baywolf's amazing. I'm so lucky to, he and I started, he and I kind of started at the same time. And so I'm able to work with this guy who, like,

I feel like in no universe would I get to work with this guy, but we're just been friends all these years. I love when you walked over the frame. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Yeah. And I walk over it at the end. Yeah.

It's, for some reason, it said to me, Virginia. Oh, that's interesting. You know, like Montessello, like kind of that kind of a landscape. Yeah, my director, Seth Barish, who's done all my shows too, like, we talked extensively about what could the set be that isn't overkill. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, because that message at the end. of what is the good life.

Yeah, what's the good life? It's not grandiose. It's kind of small but moving. Yeah. And so Aaron Kopp is the lighting designer, and so the lighting of it changes through the whole special. And it's just really subtle. And we spend an extraordinary amount of time.

And it's just a credit to all the people who've worked on these specials with me over the years are just incredible. Yeah, look great. Well, congratulations. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming over. Thanks for having me.

That's some great bread. Yeah, and we give you the pastries to your team. All right. Pastries. You're the best. You're the best. Thanks for having me. Well, I would have you in a sleeping bag, but apparently that's off the table. We got it, kids.

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