Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 269 - Fortune Feimster

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

Today Fortune Feimster joins us at the table! At this point, 6 years into the radio show, she's basically Breaking Bread family. These old pals discuss ADD, going through tough times, and whether or not they would feel comfortable sharing a bunk bed (one member of this duo is definitely more into it). Enjoy! Check out Fortune in Fubar S2 now streaming on Netflix! Text PAPA to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. https://www.eatiqbar.com/ ----------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:00:21 Patreon Shoutout 0:00:45 Welcome and radio show 0:02:55 ADD made worse with Zoom 0:06:20 Working harder than most 0:08:11 Fubar S2 0:10:15 WAJ Intern 0:12:45 Tom's famous lemon pasta 0:13:44 Going through divorce and mom's cancer diagnosis 0:23:00 Bringing the mood down 0:24:24 IQBar Ad 0:27:29 Fist fights 0:29:14 Coming up in comedy and coming out 0:36:35 James Gandolfini 0:37:25 Ghosts and haunting Tom Cruise 0:39:15 Close relationship with grandma 0:44:30 Grandma's passing 0:51:44 Uncomfortable moment 0:54:55 Good business mind 0:58:47 Drinking & podcasting 1:00:17 Joe is delightful ----------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Patreon - Patreon.com/BreakingBreadWithTomPapa Radio, Podcasts and more - https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread #fortunefeimster #fubar Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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came to the groundings and then you were already out and then you fall in love with him? He definitely had a charm that very few men have been able to work on me. And he was not hitting on me at all, but he made me giggle like a school.

girl. It's breaking bread. If you haven't joined our Patreon yet, you really should. It's pretty great. You get stuff from the road. You get extra downloads after the episode. Lots of cool content. Go over to patreon.com and look up our podcast.

And we'd love to see you over there. And for those of you have already signed up, we'll see you there in a little bit. Look at the treats we got you. I know. Right. These are for me to indulge them? Yeah, we can eat these. They're all fresh.

Yummy. And there's a knife if you don't want to just bite into one giant thing. Well, I want to, I can cut it for you. Multiple people to enjoy these, so I don't want to be a monster and just bite into them. We have been doing the show, our radio show, for five years? Oh, my God. Is that how long? It's actually going to be six in July that we're going into our sixth year.

or we completed six years? Yeah, what are we completed? Yeah, well, how much have we done? No, you'll have completed six. No way. What? Yeah, because... What?

It's so crazy, isn't it? You started in 19. Whoa. Man, oh, man. I was young, man. I wasn't. I was a baby. I hadn't even had my 40th birthday yet.

Oh, man. Yeah. That's amazing. I remember pulling off on the side of the road to call you about the radio show. Oh, yeah. I was driving when you called me. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I was driving home from Northern California with kids in the car.

And we pulled over like Modesto or someplace. Like, what are we doing? Are we doing this? Yeah, should we do? Do you like me? Yeah. It's like a first date. You like me?

I think it'll work. I like you. I think we'll be good. We could talk about things. We had only probably spoken maybe a couple times. A couple times before that. Our good mutual friend Aaron Foley. Yeah.

We had seen each other around her and then once on a plane beside each other from Montreal. That's when I fell in love with you, who was on the plane. Which is funny because I feel like I'm so quiet on planes. You were quiet, but you were funny. We were just sitting next to each other on the way back from Canada. Yeah. And from the festival. And yeah, it was just like, oh, yeah, it could be funny with this person.

I have my moments of being chatting and then being really quiet. Tom has to deal with my increasing ADD over the last six years. It's gotten worse. Has it gotten worse? I think because it's just the Zoom of it all. The Zoom of it doesn't help. It's tough for me. I have to really, it's not you guys, it's all me.

I have to really make myself focus. You've really taught me a lot about my daughter. water. Yeah. Because she has it. Yeah. And I really has given me a perspective. Because as a parent, I would be like, we just do the thing.

Clean the thing and do the thing and do the thing. And it's, and it wasn't until learning from you. Like, no, that's just not how the brain works. Yeah, it just goes into, I'll find myself staring out the window sometimes. They're like, look, if anything beeps on my phone, it's like right away. That's what I can tell. Yeah. I can tell when we're not in the studio when we're doing Zoom,

I can tell that something's going on work-wise. I know. There's always something. I'll just see your eyes like dart down. People don't leave me alone during these time. Like, they should know by now six years in. They'll be like, we need five answers right away. And I'm like, ah.

Yeah. Yeah, I can always tell what it kicks. It's why I get for doing too many things. But, yeah, but that's, you know, that's. You're very good and patient about it with me, though. Thank you. Well, it's a good thing that I over talk, which is a good balance. We've found our lanes.

Can you tell when I'm tired? So we do this radio show if anyone doesn't have serious X-M, which is like, get with the program. Now. Get on it. We've been doing this Netflix's joke radio show forever. And so we do it for. four days a week. Yeah.

Two hours a day. Two hours a day. That's a lot talking. It's a lot. I often think what else could I possibly say? I know, but there's always something. Somehow there's something. I mean, even today was such a perfect example because we did, we did this segment of what does

fortune like or what does Tom like. Have we ever done what does Joe like? Oh, we should turn it on you guys. Turn it on Joe. But it's a very funny thing because. it's it's what is fortune like and you bring up something like watermelon and it's like we've known each other for a long time now we talk every day and then they're like does fortune like watermelon and you're like you're like holy shit i don't know right you're like i think i know

everything about this person but maybe not see there's always something to learn yeah can you tell when i'm uh when i'm tired and cranky Um, you're not tired and cranky often. You're usually pretty positive. Occasionally, if you'll just, you'll just get like a little snippy about something, but it's not directed towards anyone usually, don't you think, Joe? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I mean, I can tell when you're tired because you've been on the road and not slept for days.

Right. Right. Right, just from looking at the schedule, but not my face. You'll just be like, I think we just live in a state of tiredness, maybe. Well, I have to say, and I, you know, you hear this from, you hear this about people once and a while of like, that's the hardest working person in show business or I have to say, and this isn't a brag, it's just a reality. We work harder than most.

We do. We do. We do. I mean, between our podcasts, you have the great handsome podcast and all of your acting stuff and stand-up tour nonstop. Yeah. Like I feel, this is how busy we are. Tell everyone. When we just have our radio show. Yeah. I consider that a day off. I do too. Right? Yeah. You're like, oh, that's, what a light day that is. And I always laugh with Joe whenever we have radio vacation. I literally have nothing going on. And I'm like, oh, man, this is like the worst because I have nothing going on. He's like, yeah, you should just do nothing. Yeah, you know.

And I was like, really? Yeah. It would be better if it came in a busy week. Yeah, well, I'm filming something. It's like, but then you get no break ever. Yeah, there's no break. He's like, it should be you're not working. I'm like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. So I think legitimately. When we're off for a couple weeks, I will take that time off. I know. Me too. I think I'm going to try and do the thing that people, you hear people do when they don't check their emails. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I'll probably still do that. Yeah, I probably will too. But I'm going to try. But I'm going to not schedule a single thing. Yeah. Not a show, not a podcast for like two weeks. That'll be pretty good. I wonder if we'll be different after it.

Because we took two weeks off. Right. Yeah. Yeah, we'll really change. Yeah, we're going to be very different characters. Congratulations on Fubar. Thank you. Second season of this big giant, it's a giant thing.

It was a cool thing to film because it was so big budgeted and big stunts and action sequences and so different than what I get to do before Fubar was all sitcoms, you know? Yeah. A couple of funny movies here and there. So to like just get to like say jargon and shoot guns and run from explosions. It was pretty cool. It's really crazy. And to reinforce how hard you work while you filmed that in Toronto, you didn't, you hardly skipped any radio. Yeah, just a week here and there.

Yeah. But for the most part, it worked out both seasons pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just kept going. Interestingly enough, it just kind of works out. But you guys are, especially Joe, and it's pretty, and you are very good about bobbing and weaving with me, which I think is what has helped us last six years because when I've been in, you know, professional situations where there's not much flexibility, you kind of have to move on.

Right, exactly. So. Yeah. It's a, that is the, that is the coolest part of the thing that I didn't, of the radio show that I didn't see. coming was it's two comedians being in being the hub of Netflix comedy yeah and that we can not stop being that we were unable to stay really active comics and be on the road you'll be in Michigan I'll be in North Carolina still do the show and then you come back into the studio and then you have your guests and it's like it really is a comics life yeah for sure well

they're getting the real the real thing yeah you want to See behind the curtain of a stand-up. Which is really boring. I can't believe people want to listen to it. Let's just talking about what we ate when we got to a town. People did like it when at that one point when we were helping that intern. I can't remember his name now. Oh, yes, scones.

Helping him write jokes. That was fun to do with you. That was fun. We were like helping him craft to joke and people, I think, really enjoyed seeing us come with stuff. That was really fun. Yeah, we should help someone else, right. We should help somebody.

John, do you know who we're talking about who was on our radio show? His name is scones? I don't think he would know that nickname. That was our radio nickname. Oh, that's, he's not scones out in the world. No. I want to try some of that. This one?

This one, too, yeah. Or that one? And the banana red, all of it. All right, good. His name was John Senna. No, that's a wrestler. Sennah. Right?

Wasn't that his name? It was something like that. Luna. He's on the open mic scene. He's a funny guy. He's a sweet kid. Yeah, he's very sweet. Ooh, this is a good.

He was our intern for a beat. Oh, no way. We helped him write jokes. Hell yeah. We helped him write jokes. And, yeah, we came up with some good. stuff for him and it would work in his act then we helped him with his love life oh that was fun too that was a lot of fun we should get a new intern to help them with their love life how do we get a new

intern well now that you want one we yeah we'll find someone does it need to be the same joke and love person or can you help people different people with different issues you know whoever you know we don't have a different intern every couple of months yeah because I saw that other guy remember the guy who wanted to be on the bachelor oh our first our first I see him on Instagram once in while. He was fun. He was fun. You just want to

help their lives and their material. Oh, I don't know. That's a you question. Okay, no. So we're not sure how radio works. Yeah. Stop making us answer these.

Yeah. Okay, I got you covered. Oh, that was good. Whatever that thing was. That was really good. It was like an oatmeal whoopie pie. Mm, banana bread.

Where are these treats come from? Lodge bread. Mm. Yeah. Mm. Because I know you're traveling tonight, so I skipped the bread. Oh, this is perfect.

All right. When I come back, though, and you come back, I want bread. All right. Calm down. Tell our listeners my favorite dish for you that I make for you. My favorite pasta dish is a lemon pasta. I just really like the sweet savory. Sweet savory is my combo of choice.

Right. And you make a great lemon pasta. Thank you. And so a couple of times now, I have been lucky enough to go to Tom's and he's made it for me. I like being able to cook for people who really appreciate it. Well, you've cooked for me in happy times. You've cooked for me when my life was falling apart. I did.

Yeah. That was nice of you. The last lemon pasta was a sad time? Uh-huh. Right. I'm like, uh-huh. Weigh. Life is hard.

Well, you did have a couple big things this year. You did some big changes. I did. Some big stuff going down. I'm going through a divorce. Right. And my mom has cancer. Yeah, double whammy.

I mean, how fun is that? Yeah, that's a great. That's a time to eat lemon pasta. That's a time to work your ass off. That's what I've done, throwing myself into work. Yeah. And again, you didn't stop during all of that. You just kept cranking it out.

You cried a couple times. I cried. I would, yeah, everything was kind of unraveling. And I would get on radio. You know, that's the tricky part of our job is, you know, we're to make people feel good and laugh all the time. Yeah. And then when your life is unraveling,

you gotta still show up for work. And then you're like, do you like watermelon? So I would sign on in the morning and kind of have it together for a minute and then someone would say something and just tears streaming down my face. I would put myself on mute. And you guys would be like, Joe, do you like watermelon? Y'all would have to continue on and I'm just like sobbing over there. Y'all were, I was on the radio when my mom called me and told me she had cancer. We couldn't believe it.

I was like, hey. Because we had been through the relationship troubles for about six months. Yeah. And it was like, and things were starting to settle into what it was going to be. So it was kind of like, it wasn't as raw. I mean, it's still raw, but it was calming. You had a direction. Yeah.

And then, uh, and then all of a sudden you got this phone call. But she kept texting and calling. And I was like, she knows I, you know, have this. standing radio appointment. And I was like, oh, you guys like, I got to, do you mind if I mute myself for a minute? My mom keeps calling me. And so I'm like on Zoom with y'all. And she's, you know, at the time she told me at stage four, stage two now, but it's...

Oh, shit. I didn't know that. Yeah. It's stage two, but it's very aggressive. So it's a different stage two than a regular stage two. It's still pretty serious. It's very serious. Sure.

And she does have a mass on her liver that is like the size of an orange. Right. And so I'm like on radio with you guys and she is dropping this ginormous bomb. Yeah. And because I had literally just separated the day before. Yeah. This was a one-two punch. And then all of a sudden you get this call and you're in mute and we're in our little Ford Zoom boxes.

and we just see you starting to cry. Tears streaming down my face. And we're like blabbing away on the radio and looking at each, look at each other like, what could this be? Because we got through the other part. What could it be? You're like, what is wrong with her? Why was her life so dramatic?

And then you came back and it was like, my mom's ill and it was like, come on. I know. This is just ridiculous timing. All this was within 24 hours of each other. Jeez. And it was tough. That week was hard. Then the tabloids found out about my marriage situation, and that was the next day.

And so it was all that three days in a row. I didn't leave my house for three days. Really? It was a lot. Yeah. I always daydream about when my wife and I would get divorced with people magazine care. Let me tell you that I did not think that anyone would care. Yeah.

I did not. That is something I could have never first seen coming. Really? Ever in a million years. When they called to say that what's happening, I was like, you have to. What? Yeah. Why does anyone care about me and my marriage?

Well, you are a very well-known person. Other than my fans who've, because I've talked about my marriage and all my stand-up. Yeah, I understand that caring for sure because that is part of my life. I've been 10 years in my life and someone I care about. And I just would not have thought in a million years that would have have happened. Yeah. And it was a big part of it. It was jarring.

It made me go like, like, I just, it makes you like, be like, can I, can I even talk to people about life things? Yeah, because all of a sudden the press is snooping around and wanting to know, like why and how and whatever. So then it's like, well, who are they trying to talk to? Who am I? You know, a handful of people I've talked to. Yeah. Who in the world is sharing this information?

It just felt very, it was hard. I was, that is not the kind of life I lead, you know? Yeah. I'm known because of what I do, but I'm not out there, you know, trying to be in the paper or any of that. Like, I just am so, I consider myself so boring. Do you think it's just because she was a part of your story? Like, it was, you know, in the specials and a lot of the jokes of the two of you.

Could have just been a slow news day, truth be told. I don't know, you know. Yeah, no kidding. It could have just been like, oh, here's somebody that's known and this is happening. We need a story. We need something to talk about. But, you know, it was like, hey, this is still pretty boring, too. Yeah.

Or just, you know, people unfortunately separate and divorce and that happens. Yeah. And let me take this moment to say sincerely to the camera. I was just kidding about the divorce part. It was just a joke about people magazine trying to relate with Fortune. And Cynthia, if you're listening to this and walking the dogs, just know that I love you. Aw. Thanks.

Yeah. She's going to see that for sure. She definitely would have been angry. When you hear rumblings of, like, other people are talking, like he said, like, who would be talking about my relationship? How long in the analysis of it did you think, Joe? I for sure went straight to Joe. I was like, this has Joe written all over it. Yeah.

Well, I knew it wasn't any of you guys because we'd been talking for months and months and months. We had so many opportunities. That is true. Yeah, that was pretty clear. We still have some scoops they don't know about. My parents were like, they found out on the news too. They were like, you didn't even, I didn't even tell my family. Yeah.

Yeah. Because, you know, yeah, we just were trying to figure it out, figure out what was happening. But, you know. How is it affecting your act right now, like when you're out on tour? Because, you know, you're like me. You talk a lot about your, based loosely on your personal life. Yeah. I mean, I have to talk about it at some point because I have three specials talking about my partner.

You know, first my girlfriend, then my fiancé, then my wife. Right. You know, she is a part of my life for sure in these big bodies of work. So I cannot go out there and just be like. act like I never was married. And your fans are very loyal. They really love you and care about you. And they care about her and they cared about us and our little family that we've created

and I want the best for both of us. And that's very much appreciated. Right now I'm just kind of going, this happened and I don't have anything to say about it at the moment. I will in time. Yeah. So I haven't. Because whatever I say about it, I want it to be meaningful.

and, you know, address it in a proper, respectful way. Yeah. I just don't have the words right now because I'm still going through it. And I think when I get a little bit further down the road and have better words for it, that's when it will transpire on stage. It's an amazing thing when you're in that kind of a situation because you don't, you think like I've got to address this big thing. you really don't even even just mentioning that we're at this place now like you know you know and

and my relationship is just paraphrasing like in my relationship you know which you know has seen better days or you know as you know we're splitting up and it's sad and then talk about whatever you're talking about just that just giving them a little just acknowledging takes the question out of it they're not they're not craving more they don't need more and it and it's It's, what I'm trying to say is when you have heavy things, a small amount of words Yeah. Really accomplishes the goal. That's probably what it will have to be for now.

Yeah. Because it's weird. I, after, I didn't tell people about what was happening with my mom for a bit, either. And I didn't talk about what was happening with Jacks for a bit. So a lot of this was happening behind the scenes. Yeah. for a bit. And then finally it started to address things.

And then my first show back when both of these things had come to light, I really didn't know what to say. And I just like went out there and I was like, well, you know, I'm getting a divorce. My mom has cancer. And it really brought the mood down. And everyone was like, you hear the awls. And that is like the worst thing to hear as a comic is like, oh, you're like, no, no, it's fine, please. I'm like, okay, well, I can't start like that.

Right. Yeah. You cannot start with a bomb. No, no. And then go, let me tell you some jokes now. Yeah, no, not at the start. They got to know that you, they got a sense that you're okay first. Yeah, I learned that the hard way after a couple of nights of that.

Yeah. And then I finally found a way to sort of insert it like flippantly, but I don't want to be flippant. You know what? So it's like a hard balance. And when I know I will find, I just haven't yet. Yeah. Support for today's episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, exclusive snack and hydration sponsor.

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Can I ask you a question? Please. Were you ever in a fistfight? With my brothers. Oh, yeah? Yeah. How old were you? God, most of my childhood.

They didn't really. care that I was a girl. Oh, no? Yeah, my grandmother would get really mad at him. She's a girl. You can't hit her like that. But I was bad about... That's on your dad.

He wasn't really around. He wasn't around. So how old were you when he split? 12. 12. Yeah. Well, now, he should have put that in when they were like five. Fist fights happened before and some earlier, I mean, later.

But, yeah, you just punched each other. I punched them, too. Sure. And I instigated. I would, I would, I was like my dog Biggie, who would, didn't realize how little he was, barking at the big dogs. Right. I would, I would, I would, I would, you were starting. Yeah, what are you going to do about it?

Right. Pop! Hey. And I'm like, wow! My father was very, I had two younger sisters, have two younger sisters. And my father was very early, very sternly told me. me. You do not, never. And I want it to so bad. I know, because when your siblings, you don't care about that stuff. Oh, I could ruin you. Yeah. Yeah, I got the wind knocked out of me a number of

times. Busset lives. You were so cute. Those Instagram posts of you in your little dresses with your little poopie, your hair went straight up. Yeah. It was so cute. Oh, man. When you were coming up, you started at Groundlings and had this good run in improv and sketch and stuff like that. And then you move over to comedy. I move over to comedy or stand-up comedy. Yeah. I literally my head was like moving. That doesn't count.

In my head, it was literally you moving to the comedy store. Yeah, I'm jealous of that chapter, by the way. Are you? Yeah. Like I was watching the Paul Rubin's, the Pee Wee Herman Dock and all of the things. And all of the, it seemed like such a fun, creative environment. Fun and stressful. Yeah.

It becomes a bubble there where it's your end-all be-all. And I don't know what it's like now, but the system's set up to, like, compete and, like, you're voted on. Right. And so you can, you're never able to, like, fully and just embrace and enjoy it. You're always being looked at and decided on. So it added a layer of stress to what would have been a pretty magical. experience. A lot of people crying and tears and sobbing and, you know, when they get cut or something. Which is the way that like the ultimate, right, S&L kind of like is, right? It seems like

all beautiful and fun, but it's a very highly political environment. Yeah, you bond and you write all hours in the night. You're with each other constantly. But, you know, I look back on this day so fondly. We were all broke, so broke. But we were just like so pumped to just be making stuff, you know, shopping for costumes, writing. It's so great. Eating food late at night, going to bars, in the theater, so like two in the morning. It was cool. It's so great. Yeah. So when you moved over to stand-up, was it you're a little more isolated?

You're kind of on your own a little bit. Yeah, definitely a more, like, I just felt like a loner in that. Was that more comfortable because you're out of the political scrum? I was doing it more lonely. I was doing simultaneously. Oh, okay. So I felt like that's what helped me. make both worlds a little more palatable. Uh-huh. I was leaving, you know, the groundlings and going to the store and stuff. Right.

And so I didn't feel as alone doing the stand-up because I had all my friends at the other place. Right, right. But I just knew I like stand-up and I liked being on stage and I felt like people understood me more. Right. In stand-up. Oh, because you could just be you. It's me, yeah.

I didn't have to, you know, I could play a lot of characters, but, you know, you're still kind of seeing me to an extent. Yeah. And I just felt like, yeah, stand-up, just people just got it more. That's interesting. I came into my own more, for sure. So you were out when you started stand-up? Yeah, I came out the same year I started Groundlings. I came out in 2005 and started Groundlings in 2005.

Yeah. So then when I started stand-up, I was kind of Newerly out. Right. Newerly. Is that a word? Newerly is a word. Newerly? Newly.

It's not. New Orleans. Newly. New Orleans. Newly out. That's kind of a blessing, though, because I know I have friends that weren't out, but had started stand-up. And then you've got to make that transition while you're on stage and you're a little into

your career. That's a... Yeah, and I had never thought about it because I did a lot of common... People were getting to know me around the L.A. scene. I wasn't getting any traction outside of it. So when I did shows in town, I didn't think twice about it. Like, this is who I am.

I'm just telling my stories. And then I got Last Comic Standing in 2010. And for the first time, I go, wait, am I... Is it okay that I just tell everyone I'm gay? Like, is that weird? Yeah. But I think I called my manager at the time and I was like, um, do I just, I just say I'm gay? Like I just, like, it's okay.

And, you know, to her credit, she was like, yeah, just be yourself. Right. And so I, there was never a time on stage where I wasn't. That's amazing. But I also feel like my comedy is so me, me, who I am. Yeah. It would have been pretty inauthent to try to pretend. And I'm pretty gay looking that it would have been like an elephant in her room if I was like,

I went out of date with this guy. They were like, somebody needs to talk to her. Who is this guy? But it was straight, my first two years in L.A., which had to have been a wild thing for the people that knew me then

to be like, really? Oh, because you still were? I was not out. Yeah. Right. I moved to L.A. in 2003. It came out in 2000. Between five and six.

And how long did you know? I mean, I think I knew deep down for a long time, but I just suppressed it or thought it was like a non-thing. Do you actually have like a moment of like, wait a minute, what am I doing? Once I moved to L.A., I started to get a little bit more like confused and curious and stuff. And it wasn't a lack of exposure. I didn't know any gay people. And there wasn't a lot of gay content out there. Right.

I just didn't see myself in anything. Like anything I could be like, wait, I feel that. That, I resonate with that. And then I started to be more exposed to the world and, you know, the West Hollywood parade. Gay Pride Parade was on the public access channel. Like, what is this? You know, that kind of stuff. Seeing the L word.

I mean, that stuff does, it does, like, blow your mind. Right. It gives you some, holy cow, wait. We go, whoa, that's even possible. Right. It feels so naive in these times to say that. But, you know, this was 20, however many years ago. Yeah, 20 years ago that it just, even then was very different.

And not really as like, you know, I sound 80. The young kids these days are kind of have more freedom to be like, I don't know what I like. I'm going to figure it out. Yeah, and they hear it when they're young. Her like, I'm fluid, you're that a lot. Like, I like people, like, that was not the case. It was very black and white back then. So how challenging was it when James Gandalfini came to the groundings and then you, you were already out and then you fall in love with him?

He definitely had a charm that very few men have been able to work on me. And he was not hitting on me at all, but he made me giggle like a school girl because he came. This would have been 2009 or 10. I really can't remember. She's been out for a while. Yeah, and he came to our show because he was friends with one of the performers. And after the show, he paid for everyone's dinner

and had him bring another round. And we were so broke that that was like the nicest thing anyone could ever do. We couldn't believe someone had that kind of money to just pick up everyone's tab. And I went over there to thank him. And he just, like, grabbed me in this, bear hug and just like pulled me in and he started like whispering in my ear but not again not like

a sexual way but just like he's like you're so fucking funny oh my god like i just i can watch you forever and and and i started giggling like and he just kept doing it like whispering in my ear and i was just like oh my god he's so sweet and something about it i was like, oh my God, did I just fall for James Candelphini? I mean, I was in. I was like, this guy is it. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game.

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It's so funny because I was in New York at the time and had the same experience with him. You did? I'm sure you made Men feel that way, too. He was a cool guy. We all wanted to be him. Yeah. Oh my God. You talk about, you talk about ghosts. I do. And, and you've had some run-ins with ghosts.

Mm-hmm. If you ever are a ghost, say you were a ghost. Let's say. Who would you haunt? Who, I don't know. That seems sad. So, like, doesn't that mean you're kind of, like, stuck or something? Let's not get, let's not deal with the details.

You're just, you're a happy ghost. I'm a happy ghost. I'm a happy ghost. Your ghost by choice. I'm just coming to say hi to people when I feel like it. Well, I'm not. You want to linger. This sounds sad, but like I'm, I don't have kids.

Like, you know, hopefully I'm, I have a while on earth. Mm-hmm. So I, I don't know. Who will, hopefully I'm old. What you're saying you want kids eventually? No, no. I'm saying, like, who am I going to come back and haunt? Hopefully I'm old, you know.

Yeah, you'll be older. I'm going to eat this other one, too. Sorry, y'all aren't going to get any of this. You're going to have all that Yeah, I don't know who I would haunt I'd like to check in on some people That you don't get to see Like Oprah?

Yeah, or Tom Cruise Just see what they're up to? Yeah, what do you do on a Tuesday night, Tom Cruise? That's fair When you're home in your living room, how do you live? Because in my mind, I picture Tom Cruise Like doing push-ups Or like mediter?

How often do you think about Tom Cruise? Too much. Is there any such thing? It's too much Tom Cruise? I don't really want to haunt anyone. You're saying no. So you don't? No.

So they'd be like, you got to go down there and haunt, and you'd be like, I can't. Yeah, but can't. Can I just hang out with my grandmother? I don't want to be hanging out of my grandma in heaven. That's funny. You're like, I finally get to heaven. Yeah, when I get to be with my grandmother. I got to go peer in on Oprah.

I want to hang out with my grandma. Oh, that's nice. You love your grandma. She was your first favorite person of all the people. Of all time. Of all time. All time. And I just wish I could have known her as an adult.

She died when I was 18. And it just bums me to no end. But, you know, that happens. Yeah. Bumbs me out that I couldn't have had adult conversations with her. But I will say, as much as you can appreciate a person, as a teen, I did give her every ounce of appreciation that someone in my age could have. Right. You wouldn't spend time with her.

Yeah, a lot of time spent, took her to, you know, when I could finally drive, I would take her to eat and stuff and go visit her regularly. Thankfully, she just lived around the corner. Is your mom's mom? It's my mom's mom. So even though I only had her to I was 18, I feel. like I had her more than you might a grandmother who lived you know like my mom six hours from some of her grandkids yeah yeah my grandmother was a part of everyday life for my whole life and um just a special person who um just was light you know yeah yeah she just made everyone very happy and and was a very

selfless person who just like you know little things she would cut roses and take them to the bank tellers. The secretaries at school, the librarians. She just, like, did little gestures for people. So when she died, there were many people with stories of her showing love and light and just being a blessing. Like how, how, that's such a small thing, giving a rose to the bank teller. Yeah. It's such a small thing.

But you don't do it. We don't do it on the regular. Yeah. Because it's actually a pretty gigantic thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And she didn't think twice about it.

Yeah. She dedicated her life to us grandkids and just did and did and did for us. Yeah. And just the little things I would miss. Like she would pick my friends out from school and we would drive past like, like, she would be like, that's a cherry tree and that's this bird. And it was very old-fashioned. Yeah.

My friends even loved it. Right. They were so sweet to her about it. Like, we just liked the thing she, you know, she would have, I would have sleepovers at her house and she teaches how to make mints. You know, it was like, everything was kind of old-fashioned, but like, weirdly enough, we were all very into it. What'd she look like? This is going to sound so crazy. She kind of looked like George Washington.

in her face. She had like a longer nose and like that white curly hair. A thin petite woman. A thin petite George Washington. I do not come from, you know, petite folks. Right. But she was always thin. But just, God, so, like, such a matriarch, so strong.

Yeah. Her husband died when she was like 48 or something. Oh, wow. She never remarried. So she was just this, like, presence. Like this is the foundation of our family. Right. Did you get along with your mom?

Yeah, very much so. My mom adored her. But my mom said she was more, it's weird because my grandma was so affectionate with me, but not affectionate with my mom as a kid. Kids and grandkids. I can't even imagine that because she was so loving and touchy, like touchy-feely. Like, I love you's not like that with my mom. It's a parent and a grandkid.

It's a different thing, yeah. But she just, just everyone's lives were so rocked when she died. Yeah. Because she was just such an anchor. And, you know, she, the thing she did for me in post-mortem, you know, you never really know what legacy you'll leave. And I don't think she even thought about that stuff, but she too wanted my mom to name me fortune. It was her mother's maiden name. And there was a lot of for.

Fortune's in our family. Last name, Fortune. And she just was very adamant that my mom named me Fortune. And my mom thought it was too big of a name. And it ultimately became a middle name. Right. And I grew up as Emily. So that was an interesting gift she gave me because when I found that story out, as I got older,

I was like, why wouldn't you name me, why wouldn't you name for a fortune? That's like a way better name. And so when I started comedy, I started using it kind of as an homage to her. And she also did such a gift for me when she died. She had a sad story, but I'll tell it very briefly. She, my beginning of my senior year of high school, they said she had cancer and she had a year to live. And then the year to the day, they said she has two weeks a month. I just graduated high school.

and so I kind of dedicated that summer to being with her and she told my mom she would see me off to college which would have been mid-August and this was mid-May and the doctors were like there's no medically impossible. Not making it to August. And she's like I'm going to see her off to college and she lived for three months

and really deteriorate. I mean it was like 70 pounds. I mean she was not in a good good way. And we kept her at home with hospice and everything. It was a very spiritual summer and you'd think she was going to die and you got to go say your goodbye. So that was like that was the worst.

Just like trying to tell someone that's like the, your end all be all like, I'm fine. Yeah. You can go. I'm like, stop high. You get outside and collapse. I'm 17. What's that? Why is you leaving?

Yeah. You're like, it's fine. We're all good. You can pass. It was devastating. Sure. Sure enough, it came time for me to leave for college. She was sort of unconscious, I don't know.

And I went to say goodbye knowing that was it. Wow. She made it. Told her I was leaving for college, and she died the next morning at 10 a.m. Wow. And people have, there were cancer doctors that my mom knew who studied her case. And they were like, how did she live for three months? Wow.

She, it started as skin cancer and it went inside, like a tumor went in, it surrounded her brain, spinal cord. They were like, she, they were like, the amount of pain that this woman was in is like unfathomable. The fact that she lived for three months with that insane. Yeah. Because she was too old for like radiation and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. She just had to be given morphine.

Yeah. So she did that for me for three months. three months, lived in this kind of pain. When I say, did not say, Ouch, or poor me. No grumble. One, not one time. I just, it changed my life.

Amazing. Yeah. Change your life. I'm like, how do you be a piece of shit after that? Right. I mean, not to say I'm perfect, but it just gave me this purpose of like, yeah. I cannot throw away life.

I have to be a decent human. Yeah. This person did this thing. for me, like, to show, the ultimate act of love and belief in me to see me off to college, like very symbolic of like go do something with your life. Head out in the world. I was like, I have to not be a turd. Wow.

And she just set me on this path of like, I got to do something with my life. So I guess the big question is, why are you so mean when we sign on for the radio? She would be very upset with me. She's been gone for a while. Is there a party that thought maybe I don't go to college and keep her alive? It is crazy how things work out. It is crazy. Because not that I would have ever traded this for anything.

I would have given anything to have her still be around. It would have been very difficult for me to move to L.A. with her alive. Right. I don't know that I could have done it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing.

Yeah. That's hard. Those roots are too strong. Yeah. You want to know something else that's kind of a kismet, a little creepy, a little something. Yeah, please. Look over your left shoulder or right shoulder. James Gandalfini.

What? My boyfriend is looking at me. I just noticed it. Oh, he's gone way too soon. I know. That was such a tragedy. That is amazing, though. Like that is a thing of like leaving your hometown and all the roots that are there.

Because you could always see like that could that could have been a very nice life. Yeah. It would have been very different. Yeah. And do you think I would have been straight? No. You think I would have found a boyfriend, got married? Yeah, you might have.

And then divorced. Yeah. You know, I just always have this belief of that not not in her death, but just. life that things just, you know, that work out. You're kind of set on this path and you got to follow the path. Do you still talk to her? My grandmother? All the time.

I'm so hippie-dippy in that way. Yeah, whenever I'm struggling, especially in these days, I talk to her more than ever. Yeah. I look like a crazy person, I'm sure. I'll be out in the backyard, just be like, Nana, I need you. Yeah. Yeah. And I talked to that medium, Tyler Henry, you know.

I did that Netflix show of this. Oh, yeah, yeah. And, you know, whether or not you believe in that stuff, up to you. But he, his whole thing was that she's with me a lot. Oh, really? Which I felt and thought. But, you know, to hear someone say that, it never, never hurts. So, like, he's, he, how did he present it?

I would have to go back and watch it. I don't remember. Right. Because there's a lot of information coming at you. Yeah, yeah. My two uncles who were special needs kept interrupting. Oh, really? And I would go pass.

They would show up. There were such big characters, these larger-than-life guys, who had, like, mental capacities of, like, a 10-year-old. But, like, the sweetest, greatest. I love them so much. Yeah. But I wanted to hear from my grandmother, you know. And they're like, hey. And they kept interrupting.

And I was like, pass. And he was like, we've never had anyone pass before. I mean no disrespect. I love my uncles, but what are they going to tell me? They're making fart noises. Yeah. Like, I need to hear from my grandmother. Yeah, I got to go back and watch it because I can't remember everything he said about her.

But the essence that she's with me quite a bit. I did ask him if she knew if I was gay. Oh, really? And he said, I'm pretty sure if she's aware. Oh, really? He's just going off what he sees. The, the,

I mean, that's what prayer is. I mean, yeah, essentially, yeah. You need to kind of talk to something outside of what we've got. Well, I kind of, you know, in my, in my way of keeping her memory alive, all these years, just sort of, yeah, think of her like, like a guardian angel kind of thing. Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah. You feel they're around.

Mm-hmm. You and I have talked as a radio bit, we've talked from time to time about, because we've done the show in New York. And then, you know, we're mostly here in L.A. And we always kid around about like, what if we were in New York and what if we were to live there and that kind of thing. Yeah. And we do a thing on the show called an uncomfortable moment. Uh-huh. And I kind of just took a look at how we would maybe live in New York. Okay, let's hear it.

I don't think this is really an uncomfortable moment as much as a joyful moment. When I turn you down, it could be uncomfortable. Well, let's see how it goes. What do you think of this picture? You and me in bunk beds? Oh, my God. Why are you at comatose? I had a big day.

I was working. I don't. You got some KFC in again. I do like that. That's right. my sweet salty poster. I mean, I would do that for like a weekend at an Airbnb. You're on the top bunk.

I'm on the bottom. Yeah. But I don't want to do that full time. But now, you know, you're single. You can kind of do whatever we want. I can do whatever I want. And being with you in a bunk bed is one of those things. Look when you zoom in.

It looks pretty cool. If I was still with Jack, she would definitely say no. Yeah. I don't see Cynthia be signing off on this either. But it looks fun. Yeah. We could just be like a comedy couple. Yeah, for a weekend.

All right. I'll take a weekend. Okay. We can find, Rach, can we find an Airbnb with the bunk bed? We'll go to the cellar and work out material and make a whole weekend of it. It would be very cool. Yeah. Can we get an intern?

We really do need an intern. It would liven the show up a little bit. On air, yes. Yeah. Was this related to your New York move? Oh, yeah. No, he pivoted back. I pivoted, yeah.

Like, were you hiring someone to move you to New York? No, I'm sorry. I've been drinking wine. All right, good. Yeah, then yes. Right? It would be cool. But here's the bad part.

Spice things up a little bit. If they are a comedian, I mean, we'd like to help them with their act. Well, you have to, you need the internship to have a timeline on it. Yeah. It should be like a three-month internship. Right, right. So no one's disappointed when they lose their job. Because they will lose their job.

At some point, they probably will. Yeah, as a comedian, they don't really want a job. Yeah, they don't really want to be doing. They just want to be on the radio. Yeah. And then start to think it's their show. Right. And that's when it comes into trouble.

And then we have to be like, well, it's not your show. Yeah, exactly. That's why that guy ended up leaving. Okay, I'm making notes. All right, thank you. Three months. Three month internship. Then they're gone.

Great opportunity. Right. But they know going in. it's three months so no one's in trouble but if for some reason they were amazing we're like congratulations it's been extended two months right that sounds great yeah but they should they should know there's like because if they're bad you're like oh yeah we did it three months that is one's thing I've learned about you what in our time together uh you have a very good business mind yeah I do you're good at that you're good at that you're a you have a good uh a good sense a good practical

sense about how to navigate. That's just been time and experience and just having, like, you know, when I moved out here, I had nothing and had no business background. It's just learning as I go. But I saw my family make a lot of business mistakes over the years. And my only goal was to just not repeat that pattern and not be, like, dumb when it came to money. Yeah, yeah. So I'm very fiscally responsible.

but yeah, for whatever reason, my brain just sort of understands the business well. Yeah. I don't know why. Yeah. Is it because you know people well, or is that not related? Sure. I've surprised myself over the years of just like, how did I know that thing or why did I think to do that thing? Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. I just kind of pivot with the moves and making decisions and stuff. But I feel like I've navigated. it fairly well. Yeah, yeah. You know, made mistakes here and there, but you just try to take those on the chin and do better next time. Yeah, no, but you do seem to have like a good sense of the right moves to make.

Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a cool thing to watch. Thanks. Do you think that like hooking up with me and doing the radio show was a business decision or was it more of a love decision? It was a combo. It was, I really liked you and you seemed like a good guy and it would be someone fun to work with. So that's first and foremost for me because if I have turned down plenty of business opportunities with people that didn't seem like good people. I'm not in it just for a paycheck.

I have no problem saying no to things. I said no to some surprising things to some people, but I'm like, that's not a good person. You just, that's the cancer in me. Kind of like really hippie on this show today. Just filling energy from people and vibes. And if it's a bad vibe, I don't care if it's like a ton of money. I'm like, no, thank you. Have you passed on stuff like that?

I have passed on a couple things. Yeah. Yeah. That people will be like, hmm. Yeah. I mean, not like crazy, huge life-changing things. Avatar. Yeah, nothing like that.

This is like smaller potatoes. But, yeah, and it was, so it was you for sure. And then, you know, just being in the Netflix family and, you know, hoping to do specials. And it just felt like a good marriage. Yeah. That was a very cool. That's been such a rewarding aspect of it. Because as comedy people, to be in the ultimate comedy space has been so great.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And here we both are three hours with Netflix later. It's, you know, worked out well for us and I think for them too. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's been a great relationship back and forth. Are you worried at all that if we were to get an intern that it might derail all of it? Bring us down the whole show.

That's a lot of power. Yeah, I guess we probably have, I guess we, well, I don't think we interviewed the interns before. That was all on you. Yeah. Right? I don't think. You should do a trial run. We'll bring them on for one advice session.

Then you guys give a thumbs up or thumbs down. Right. Okay. Okay. We can do that. I have to say, I enjoy doing this podcast with wine a lot more. It is nice. It is nice.

Just a nice little afternoon delight. It's weird that. But not in the way that song's about. A afternoon delight. Yeah, it just feels like we designed this whole set to kind of cultivate a space where you would enjoy wine and food. There's all these drinks and robots over here. Yeah, and then we don't really drink here enough. Yeah, well, you're welcome.

Thank you. Glad I could bring this out in you. Yeah, it was very nice. Yeah. What else, kid, before we go? Anything else we need to work on or figure out? No, I feel good about everything. I'm not going to drink anymore.

This is my one afternoon delight. Yeah. Thank you for the pastries. Those were delightful. There's still plenty for you guys, even though you didn't eat a whoopee pie. Yeah, sorry, we ate all of that. No, I'm happy about our show and our friendship has evolved so much over the six years, don't you think? Mm-hmm.

Yes, I consider you a dear friend. Same. And get ready, because when I started to start having a friend. having problems in my life. Please come to me. There's going to be a payback. I will be there for you. I enjoy helping you.

I know. You were a good friend to me during this troubled time. Yeah. You were a, as they say, bridge over troubled water. Oh, thank you. And just to go on record, anything that you say about Joe when we text privately, stays private. Good.

I will say Joe is, we give him a lot of crap on the radio, but he's, He is a delightful human. Well, this is... Good heart. He's the greatest, but this is why you need an intern. Because you need someone to shit on. You got to... And he needs a break.

Yeah. And you've been shouldering it for a long time. Yeah. I could have brought that chair to the beach and... Yeah. That's right. But the irony is that... But the irony is we love Joe's so much.

Too much. Well. Yeah. We do. Stop it. No, it's true. He's a amazing human. And we don't tell them that enough.

Oh, you guys are very nice. But now I really want to get an intern because you brought up a good point. Yeah. It takes the pressure off. You need, we need another foil. Yeah. It does, yeah. Kind of a mess, like a fuck-up.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, it could be, it could be, yeah, an intern. It could be a war with another radio show. Yeah. We can start a fight with other podcasts or comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I would like to do, like, start trouble with somebody.

Oh, well, okay. Go after one of the big guys. I don't, I don't, need that in my life you wouldn't back me up i mean if i had to but i really don't want to have to do that yeah can can we have no beef in the rest of this year yeah all right i hear you yeah i mean i hear you i've had enough drama yeah let's keep it's drama free drama free we had fortune day the other day on the radio show where we kind of relaunched your year yeah and it did kind of feel like that i feel like we can head in that way and that is better news about your mom by the way it really had no

idea that yeah i mean four is four i mean if it's yeah different too it's still not a four yeah so that's pretty hopeful it's hopeful oh you know it's so hard to say like some all these doctors were a very doom and gloom about it and then one doctor had a more positive positive perspective so we'll see all right yeah well that's good we love ginger and we love you and thanks for doing this it was nice to have you uh thanks for having me come over i know we talk a lot but it's amazing like when You talk about how, like, what else are we going to talk about? Yeah. We just spent a whole hour of stuff I didn't really know.

We found out new things. Yeah. Well, thanks for having me. All right. We'll do it again. All right. Safe travels. We got a kid.

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