Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 270 - Jameela Jamil

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

Today Jameela Jamil joins us at the table for a bonus episode! She talks getting discovered, the power of saying "yes", and how she almost killed herself with RAID. Enjoy! Check out Jameela's podcast Wrong Turns, wherever you podcast.  -------------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:00:32 Patreon Shoutout 0:00:55 Lighter space 0:04:03 How scary is the world?  0:08:00 Cake and overwhelming flavors 0:08:48 American food 0:11:16 Drugs & alcohol 0:12:00 Not having kids, maternal instinct 0:14:50 Dogs 0:15:53 Ronald McDonald  0:16:42 Master of 3 dishes 0:19:00 Cleaning during parties 0:21:05 Parents & needing to feel useful  0:23:14 Politicians & wasps  0:24:10 Horrific RAID story 0:28:06 Surviving in the woods 0:28:57 Did not want to be in Hollywood 0:33:20 Saying yes 0:36:00 Substack and dealing with death 0:45:02 Uncomfortable moment 0:47:33 Instagram 0:48:40 Scars from curry 0:49:50 Indian food in LA 0:51:00 Uncomfortable run ins with famous people 0:53:03 Barbara Streisand & George Clooney 0:56:32 80 year old Jameela & the elderly  -------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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want right in the app, like rotisserie chicken that's extra crispy, cheddar that's sharp as your skates, and lettuce you to actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way, you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacart app and shop today. Who did the cooking for you? Ronald McDonald. Right. Gave you most of your food. I would say most of my nutrition came from Mr. Ronald McDonald. It's not bad.

It wasn't bad. It was great. Yeah. It was fucking fantastic. Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah. And then my brother worked there, so I ate there for free, for years and years and years, every single day.

And that's why I look so young for my age, because I'm 39, but I've not a wrinkle, and I haven't had Botox or filler. I'm full of preservatives. It's breaking bread. If you haven't joined our Patreon yet, You really should. It's pretty great. You get stuff from the road. You get extra downloads after the episode.

Lots of cool content. Go over to patreon.com and look up our podcast. And we'd love to see you over there. And for those of you have already signed up, we'll see you there in a little bit. How's life? Everything's good. How are you? I'm doing all right.

Things are good. It seems like you're going into this little lighter space now. It's fun to watch. It's nice to finally meet you. Well, I'm revisiting the lighter space. I did it for a while. You know, I kind of, I think I started in America and also in England in comedy. And then I started talking about some serious things.

Yeah. And then everyone was like, talk about all the serious things now all the time only forever. Yeah. And then I listened to them. And then I became sad. Yeah. And then I realized that I want to keep talking about serious things, but I also need for my own spirit and for the spirit of my audience who first found me with comedy.

Right. We all need a bit of reprieve, a bit of respite. And so, you know, when I did the Bad Dates Podcast a few years ago, that was me kind of just dipping my toe in the water to see how inappropriate and ridiculous am I allowed to be still. And it was received very well. And the podcast went to number one. And so this was the podcast I always wanted to do. And so I left that one to kind of start working on this.

Right. And it's called Wrong Turns. Yeah. That's good. And I saw some of my comedian friends. And we're trying to have me walk over. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah, it'd be great. I'm really looking forward to it. But it is really interesting because there's that thing. Funny people are insightful people. So they kind of see through a lot of BS and you can easily go to a space where let's get real and talk about real stuff. But I could see. I had a friend whose dad was a divorce, a judge in divorce court. and he lasted like three years and had to get out

because it was just the environment was so heavy and you're helping people and you're getting them through whatever but it's it can weigh on people especially if you're sensitive and insightful. I think so and I think it's just also everything's weighing heavy on everyone at the moment it's a really dark time and I think we're being exposed to more of the news

than we've ever been exposed to and our brains aren't really built for this. No. We're not, we don't have really the capacity to handle this much terror and doom. And the thing is, is that the media was dying, right? Before COVID. And then COVID created an uptick in the media

because the one thing that the brain neurologically can't look away from is danger or fear because that's the brain's main function is to predict and protect, right? And so they realize that sex doesn't really sell anymore because we've seen really like everyone's bumhole now, you know. So many. It's everywhere. So many.

Like just more, the 19. knew that my brain could handle. And so the only thing that really will sell forever is fear, anything that alerts someone to their own danger. And so I feel as though that's what the media has latched on to, knowing that that will keep our eyeballs, you know, fixated on it. And then they'll be able to keep selling us, advertising, et cetera. And so we need to have some sort of balance in the world.

And I think that's why things like this podcast and many of the things in the world that create just a bit of funny outlet, remind me of my child. Wildhood, which was, you know, a difficult time. And it was comedy that kept me alive. Right. And so I'm just trying to make sure I balance the two because I think both heal the world. How scary is the world today? Technically.

Yeah. To other times in the world. It's technically the least scary it's ever been. Is that fascinating? Statistically, it's the least scary it's ever been because, you know, we had times of, you know, 300-year wars. and we had pillaging happening as like a mainstream everyday event everywhere. A child marriage was far more normal back then. It's sad to think that this is the vast improvement on society.

The bar really is in hell in that case. But technically it's the best things I've ever been, but it's the most we've ever heard about the darkness. And I think there's a positive in knowing about the darkness. so you can be a self-aware, compassionate person, but also, as I said, our brains are just simply not built to handle this much imbalance

of darkness versus light. And when I was young, the news used to tell you something that was sad and scary and then something uplifting. And it was conscious of the fact that you can have a crumbling society if you just tell people bad news all the time.

Yeah. And now they don't care because that's the only way for the media to survive is by shocking us. Yeah. And it's... And social media as well, yeah. And the news lasted a half hour. It was a half hour of your day. Yeah, six o'clock, nine o'clock, yeah.

And then six o'clock news, and then it was done. And then you were back to yelling at your children. And now that it's 24 hours a day, you know, because my brain, I literally was saying to myself, how scary, what are the things I'm scared of right now because I'm on social media so much? And how valid are they? And it was like, okay, well, the climate, that's scary. AI, that's pretty scary. The political environment of the U.S. and all that comes with that.

And those are all three very valid things. But I've just been scrolling in them and living in them. And, you know, I'll tell people to go, here's a link to a senator or here's a thing. But other than that, you're pretty powerless. So I was like, I can't eat all of this all the time. so I had to put myself on a time limit for Instagram but then I wanted to see how my video was doing so I had to break out of it

because it was really funny I took my pug and I put him his little face in different places and I really thought people were gonna really like it Yeah, did they? They did, but then I saw D.L. Hughley's feed and he was telling me all about the riots and then I was back into that.

Yeah, doom scrolling. Yeah, it's a weird thing. When I bag up stuff for the Goodwill and I put it in my trunk, and I want to go donate these clothes to the poor people. At what point that I don't pull into the Goodwill and I'm just driving around with it in my trunk, at what point am I a bad person?

So I'm starting off as a good person. I'm going to give this to the poor people. I don't understand what you're saying. You're saying you're now just driving it around in your trunk and you're just withholding deliberately. No, I'm just like, fuck them. They can't have my fucking jeans. The parking's going to be shit over there.

I don't have time today. And then six months go by. And I'm like, I still haven't dropped off the poor stuff. Am I still a good person? I don't know. Some of my clothes are so ugly that I wonder if it would make someone's life worse to have them. So it really depends on how nice those clothes are. Like how comfortable they are, what kind of condition.

Everything stained with chocolate. So, you know, it looks a bit like poo. It's a nightmare. It's a real nightmare. Chocolate. It's not my favorite, actually. No. It's just something I enjoy.

But I'm actually not a big chocolate. found I'm a cake person really. Yeah, what kind of cake? What's your favorite cake? Any kind of vanilla cake, I'm really, like, scarily dull. I really love a vanilla cake with just, like, cream and maybe a few blueberries for a bit of action. But generally, I'm quite, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like overwhelming flavors. I'm not a sour candy person.

I don't like condiments. I like something really well-made and basic. Pizza, my favorite food on earth. Yeah, the best. Yeah, simple. Yeah, that's what I like, simple, especially with dessert. Like just a plain little biscuit, just a touch of sugar to it. Oh, that makes me happy.

Yeah, and I find American food sometimes a bit overwhelming with the flavors. Oh, really? One of my questions to you is, what do you think of food in America? Do you think of us as just like one giant frito? No, I don't. I don't, but I've never had more gas. Like, I feel like I've single-handedly contributed to, the environment crisis since I got here in 2015.

Like if you look at the environment since then and the ozone, I think there's a direct link between me getting here and things getting worse and more people getting sunburn. What makes you the gaseiest? All of it really. Just the craft services on a set, which is where they give free food to actors to keep them happy. But I'd say all of it. Just the, like, the fact that I have to go out of my way to find sugar-free bread in this country is pretty disturbing. I come from, you know, I grew up in Europe where everything's very pure.

Yeah. And we don't need things to say organic because everything's kind of organic. Right. Whereas here it's like, we can't call it Kentucky fried chicken. We have to call it KFC because it might not be chicken. Like, you know, it's not what I've used to. I've still had a lovely time. I've had great meals.

I mean, I gained like the standard COVID-15 or the COVID-19 maybe is what we all gained, where I decided to, you know, some people were like, I'm going to learn how to make sourdough or I'm going to learn a new language or I'm going to create any skill or learn how to make dresses. And I just, I completed Uber Eats. You got to the end? I got to the very end. It got so bad, actually, that I had to go to other friends' houses

because, you know, you only get a certain catchment area on Uber Eats where you're not allowed to order if it's too far away. So I'd go and, like, stand out. side of friend's house on the Palisade so I could get a whole new access to all these other restaurants and it was chaos it was chaos I had like pre-diabetes with the end of the pandemic it really yeah and you started doing that thing where you're like wow what what about this one or this one let's taste them both yeah no but I started so I do that actually that's like a I don't know if it's maybe my identity but I like to host private food competitions just for myself and

maybe one other friend where we'll try all different pizzas at the same time from different restaurants. Yeah, it's extremely indulgent. But I don't drink or do drugs or have any fun. So that means that I've got spare money to do private food competitions with just one friend. That's amazing. So much better than drugs. So much better than drugs and cheaper. Did you do drugs and alcohol ever?

No, because I'm already just so annoying sober. And I was like, this doesn't need to happen faster or bigger. You know? It's pretty great. Everyone I know that didn't do it, other than the president. It seems really, like, really, they're great people. I mean, Elon seems to be having a great time. No one seems happier than him.

Yeah, just ending up with black eyes. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I think the best thing is to never have done it. Yeah, well, then I don't know what I'm missing. That's kind of my thing with not having children. Everyone's like, but it's the great. latest love you'll ever know and I'm like but I don't know it so I have no idea what I'm missing out on do you know for a fact no children 100,000 percent good for you yeah I've never been more sure of anything than really yeah did it take a while to discover that or you just kind of always knew it

came out the purse knowing yeah nothing was coming out of mine I just I just I've just never been interested at all like I didn't really like know what to do with dollies and I immediately wanted my brother's G.I. Joe's, you know, and so I was there, like, you know, hanging them off the, the curtain rails, you know, with my brother. And so, yeah, I just don't have that maternal instinct. It's good. And, but you know what I do have is I have an instinct to, uh, be maternal towards adults. Uh-huh. Not in like I want to breastfeed a grown man in a diaper kind of way, which is also a lovely community. Right. Um, but I, you have to say that without knowing it exists because you know it exists.

It exists. I've seen the documentaries, but I don't mean it in that way. I just mean, I want to look after the mums. Like, no one looks after the mums. The mums are looking after everyone. And the dads, on mass,

there are some great dads in this world, but a dad has to do far less to be considered a great dad than a great mom. Yeah. And we're always looking for what mothers do wrong and we're looking for what dads do right. Yeah. And it's this sort of like subconscious bias

that happens in society. So I want to be there turn up, you know, with the wine and the pizza and the dildo and, like, you can tell me that you hate your husband and your baby and I know you don't mean it. Right. But I won't judge you because I'm not projecting my own motherhood onto you because I don't have any. But the one bad habit I have is that whenever anyone's telling me about anything they're going through with their baby, I have to fucking fight the urge to bring up a similar situation I'm in with my dogs. And it's this nightmare. Do you have this?

It's very judgy. It is very judging. People really don't like it when you try and compare it because it's incomparable. But to me, it feels the same. It's, I got to say, and this is coming from a dad, but it's not that far apart. Right. It's really not. I mean, there's a deep motherly thing that I don't understand that I know exists.

But you totally love your dogs. And it's deep. Yeah. And it's not that you're. worried, you're thinking about them when you're out. And all of the trials, all of the loves, it's not that far apart. Yeah. I frequently think I'm going to euthanize myself when my eldest dog dies.

So that's the plan. Anyway. You do it at the same time like you're in the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The vet's like, what are you swallowing? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've got a little cyanide pill for when it goes.

But this is a comedy podcast. What kind of dogs do you have? I have two cavapoos. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they're half poodle, half cavalier, King Charles Spaniel. Oh, wow. Do you have a picture? I do, but not on me this second.

But just imagine the cutest thing you've ever seen. And the best boy and the best girl you've ever heard of. And that's what my dogs look like. Do they travel with you? Yes. They do. Yeah, yeah. One time one of them shat on a plane and then I heavily considered if I wasn't going to be able to get it out the floor before someone came over to just cop to it and say, I did it.

and just let that be my legacy. Yeah. But that's how much I love my dog. I was willing to let that be a headline. She did what? Yeah. Thankfully, that didn't happen. This is a farty seat, isn't it?

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Mm-hmm. And who did the cooking for you? Nobody. Oh, actually, Ronald McDonald. Right. Gave you most of your food. I would say it was most of my nutrition came from Mr. Ronald McDonald. That's not bad.

It wasn't bad. It was great. Yeah. It was fucking fantastic. Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah. And then my brother worked there.

So I ate there for free for years and years and years every single day. And that's why I look so young for my age because I'm 39, but I've not a wrinkle and I haven't had Botox or filler. I'm full of preservatives. There's really something to that. Yeah, I don't have chromosomes. I've just got e-numbers. So yeah, there was not a lot of cooking in my life. Right.

Yeah. Can you cook? I've got three dishes, which, you know, is great in that first few weeks of dating me. You're like, wow, this bitch can really pull it together. And then it's been 11 years and I've been heavily exposed. Where it's the same breakfast I was making him 11 years ago is still my only one I can do. It's all right.

And that's it. I mean, I smash the three dishes that I can cook. What are they? One of them is it's scrambled eggs, but with quinoa cakes and goat cheese and pesto. Oh, man. with on drizzled olive oil soaked sourdough. Oh man, I'd eat that for 11 years.

He really loves it so much. Jeez. Yeah. It's my little signature breakfast. Yeah. And then the rest of it is just Italian dishes. Yeah. Just the cacios.

Whatever the easiest shit you could cook is, that's what I can do. Caccio Pepe is not that easy. A lot of people mess that up. It's not, yeah. I mean, it's basic. It's simple, like you said. But it's all timing. Exactly.

How do you do yours? Do you do? Nine minutes on the boil from when it starts boiling nine minutes. Okay. And then, well, it depends on the amount of pasta, obviously, that you're cooking. But then I make sure to use the pasta water in my sauce to thicken it. Right. And do you put the cheese in a bowl and transfer it into that?

Like, do you mix the cheeses first in a little pasta? Or do you put it in a pan? I put it in a pan and then cook it so that it's like every strand is covered in cheese. Oh, nice. Yeah. Good job. just filled up with saliva. I know mine too.

You really did it. Yeah, Italian's the best. Yeah. But I think I just, I love cleaning, you know, so I just feel like I think someone else should cook and I should clean. That's where my, I love to eat and I love to clean. I hate to cook. Oh, interesting. It's too much responsibility.

Too much pressure? Yeah, too much pressure. Right. If I had to cook for someone else, I spend the entire time I can't enjoy my meal. I'm just worrying and I'm watching and I'm trying not to stare but I want to stare. Yeah. You know? And I'm just like, is it got enough salt, enough pepper, you need a chili sauce?

And I'm just frantically running back and forth. So I think I make it not fun to eat my food because I'm so stressed. Uh-huh. So I think it's just... How clean are you? Is your place immaculate? No. No, but I make mess deliberately so that I have something to clean. Like I used to go to house parties when I was a child, teenager.

And I used to bring, well, I used to bring my own bin bags. like trash bags and tidy up as the party went along so that their parents wouldn't have like a huge mess to come back to. And that's why no one had sex with me until I was 22. Where'd that instinct come from? I don't know. I think I do know. That was a lie. I didn't know how to talk to anyone.

So I just thought I should make myself useful. So it started with a coat check. I used to set up a coat check at house parties. And I would organise people's coats on a bed. and I would wait till the bitter end of the party to make sure everyone left with their winter coat and the trash bag thing was as a result of panicking when the summer came that no one had a coat anymore

so I wouldn't have any purpose and so then I started bringing my own trash bags to clean and I think being useful is just something that is inherently in me and it gives you an activity and you don't have to make small talk or do any of the real difficult became a DJ. Right.

So that I'm, you know, I'm providing a service and no one can fucking talk to me. It's pretty amazing. I'm there, but I'm not there. Yeah,

yeah. That's why I do love cooking, by the way. Right. When there's a party and like I host a lot and there's people and they're all,

you know, together talking and about God knows what. And I'm working on the pasta. Yeah, like Dawn Porter, Chris O'Dowd, you know, the comedian,

his wife is a wonderful writer and she'll like pretty much threaten you with a knife if you come near the kitchen. And she's the most amazing cook. Yeah. Throws these huge dinner parties and everything is made by her from scratch. And it's just unbelievable. Yeah.

And it's really because she doesn't want to talk to you. She cannot stand to anyone coming in trying to help or touching anything. And I love that about her. Yeah, it's pretty great. Were you like that really young? What? Useful? Looking for your use?

Yeah. Always been useful. Yeah. I wonder if it's like an Asian thing, you know, like just the sort of nerdy, helpful thing. but I've always enjoyed being useful. Right. What was your parents' situation? What did you mean?

Were they in your life? Yeah, my parents were in my life, in and out. They had a complicated marriage. I don't talk about them a lot because they didn't choose to be on the good place on NBC, but I did. But yeah, as many marriages, as most marriages almost do, theirs broke up. Right. And I don't think my usefulness was necessarily a result of that. I think I just, you know, they say that people have love languages,

and I haven't looked a lot into love languages, but I just know that mine is something to do with service. I don't, you know, I'm not very good at communicating my love necessarily as a sentimental person. I'm not like I'm not romantic. I'm not a very sentimental person. I have object permanent, so when I'm away from you, I forget that you're alive or ever existed. And so it's very easy for people to think maybe I don't love them

because I can come across as a loof, I'm British, so I'm cold. Right. But I acts of service is how I show people that I love them. Right. I get that. Yeah, my dad used to kind of be like that. My dad used to, he wouldn't necessarily say he loves you very often, but he'd bring

home your favorite snack. Right. And that's how you knew. Yeah, yeah. So I think that's kind of, those are the ways that I picked it up. Right, right. And so it's how I like to show that I care. Yeah.

You know. No, I get that. Yeah. It's hard to, if you're not built that way, to just, let me just tell you how much I care about you. Yeah, I just don't have it in me. Like, I'm just like, I'm, my boyfriend said I'm the least romantic person he's ever heard of,

which is so funny because I have inspired such beautiful love songs by him. And I'm like, is he having an affair? Like, who is this woman that he sings he's loving songs about? Because it can't be me. Like, he must have this, like, other wife and children. because there's no way I inspired that. It's ridiculous. Yeah, but you have.

What animal don't you trust? What animal don't I trust? When you see them, even if you haven't run into them. Politicians? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's my least favorite species.

Really? Yeah. Why? They seem so great. Other than that, it's not an animal. insect, but I just think wasps are cunts. Ooh, yeah.

You know, can I say that? Yeah, you just did. Okay, well, you know, I just hate them. Were you ever attacked by them? No, well, have you been able to avoid them so far? No, I've had moments where I've been chased by them. I've stepped on one and it stung me so that was really my bad. But I just, I don't trust them.

I find insects to be devious. They are. They're devious. They're really evil. But you know what? I've stopped killing them. And I've got a big calmic retribution that stopped me from killing them. What do you mean?

So my boyfriend and I had a huge ant problem in our house in the bird streets in L.A. And he went out and he bought Raid or whatever the ant killer is. And he bought it and he sprayed it all over our kitchen floor. And neither of us had read it properly and seen that it was outdoor only. Oh, geez. So we left it there and then we went to bed and then I got up in the middle of the night to go get a snack because I like to sleep, eat.

And he'd already gotten up to go and grab some water maybe an hour before me. And a few hours later, he wakes up vomiting like black tar and he's got a crazy fever and he's shaking and he's an agony. And this is a man who didn't get COVID one time. Like he does not get ill ever. And he was so ill and I was so scared for him. And then an hour later, I start having identical symptoms.

and we don't know what's going on. We think maybe we've been poisoned or something. We go to the emergency rooms. And then they're trying to figure out why there's so much shit in our blood and where we could have ingested this. And they were like, we were at a party. Did you drink anything?

We were like, no. And they were like, talk us through steps of your night. And so we were like, well, we sprayed a bunch of stuff on the floor and then just really went to bed. And they were like, what did you spray? And we told them. And then they explained to us that our feet are the most absorbent part of our body.

And we had absorbed all of the ant poison. through the most absorbed. I think your asshole is the only bit that's more absorbent than the bottom of your feet. Thank God we didn't go in, you know, something we didn't scoot.

Like a regular night. Scoot in like a dog. Like you normally do. But we basically poisoned ourselves and we felt the death of the ants. So we were like, God, this is what it feels like. This is what we were doing

to those poor little things that were just doing their job. And so we were like, we're never ever going to hurt anything ever again. Because you don't think about what that spray does. It attacks your nervous system. I've never known pain or like just discombobulation.

I was in agony. It was horrific. And I was like, I can't believe I was willing to do that to another living creature. Because you just don't think. No, of course not. And then it's gone. And I'll never ever use that stuff again. So now I just use a nice deterrent organic peppermint oil.

Like a real L.A. middle class lady. Does it work? Not really, no, no. So it's just me and all the ants. Oh, man, that's so weird that you had the same reaction. Yeah, I felt the death of the ant. Yeah. And good, good.

I think we should all feel the impact of the deterrents that we use. I think we should be in a mousetrap every now and then. See how that fucking feels. I would push back and say we probably shouldn't because then we can continue killing the N6 without feeling bad about it. Okay. I'm going to move the knife away from you. That is brutal.

So you probably weren't even in there that long. You probably just walked in, got a little snack and like that quickly. Yeah, because I regularly, I look inside the fridge for the answers to my life. You know, I just sit in there. I opened the fridge and I ponder into it. And I just did a few minutes ponder, grabbed a snack, and then nearly died. Wow. It's so crazy.

So crazy. Were you at like hallucinating? Were you able to... Yeah, hallucinating everything. How are you able to keep your act together to get to the hospital? Well, someone came and got us and took us to the hospital. I don't remember a lot about that night. I just remember feeling incredibly embarrassed once we understood that we'd nearly killed ourselves.

My wife doesn't like to kill any of the insects. She scoops them up and brings them outside. And eats them. And then eats them. Well, at least it's not in front of the children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not yet. If you were thrown in the woods, if you fell off a truck and you were in the woods by yourself, do you think you'd survive?

No, I'd kill myself. You would? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm going to do. As soon as you assess the situation and realize I'm in the woods. Yeah, yeah. That's it. I'm fucking out there.

I want to get myself before something else gets me. I just wouldn't be able to cope. I've not got a single survival instinct to me. No. Yeah, when the apocalypse goes down, I'll die first. I've got patient zero written all over me. I just, I was not, I was not felt to survive. Let's not, let's not drag this out.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Let's just get it over with it. You know what? I've, I've achieved all my dreams. I've met everyone I wanted to meet. I've got a selfie with Jim Carrey. Like, I'm ready to go. That's fine.

I read that you didn't think you were going to be in show business when you were little. No, no, because I thought the people were empty and stupid, but I was clearly wrong. Right. Then you learn they're the most important people in the world. Actually, they're very profound and not egomaniacs who are mean. What was your vision when you were little? I wanted to do what every little Indian child wants to do, which is be a doctor. And I don't know if that came from me or from my lineage of people telling me, be a doctor.

I can't tell if it's nature or nurture. but I was told that was my only choice. So I wanted to be a doctor. And I genuinely do have such an interest in medicine and in health and in, you know, like, it's slightly racist, but my nickname amongst my friends started by me was Dr. Patel. You know, because everyone when they're sick calls me

and asks me for what they should do. And I like to help figure it out with them. Yeah. So I do have a genuine love of it. But that was the plan was to be a doctor. And I was very, very studious at school. and loved it and loved biology and chemistry, but I got hit by a car when I was 17 into another car,

broke my back, and then didn't want to go back to school after a year and a half of lying in bed. I couldn't imagine anything worse and sitting in a classroom. I hated school. So I just decided to go out there in the world and try and find my own way. Right. And then I just did every job I could get,

like anything that was in the newspaper where they were looking, for someone. I couldn't, I was a virgin, so I couldn't do the other stuff, the fun stuff that pays really well. So I had to do all the other stuff,

like be a human test subject where they would test like, you know, shampoos and creams. Oh, really? Yeah, all sorts of terrible shit on me. And I think I'm like a bionic woman now

because of all of that. Between the McDonald's and this gig. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I'm never dying. You're really not dying. When I die, I won't decompose. Yeah, you look like you're in your 20s.

100%. And you're completely, America is actually a perfect place for you. I'm telling you. I don't know why surgery is so big here. Just eat the McDonald's. So I then became an English teacher and a model scout and all these other different things.

And I was like a temp at different media companies and stuff as a secretary. And then I got street scouted by a producer who wasn't even trying to get me on his show. He just knew of a show that was looking for someone and said there's a nationwide search and just send in your you know, just send in a tape.

So I sent in a cover letter and then they asked for a tape. And then I went in and did the audition. I landed one of the biggest jobs in kind of the history of youth programming in the UK. Crazy. Crazy. And did that producer stay in touch? Was he? Never saw him again.

Never saw him again. Don't know his name. Whoa. He just gave me like a weird drunk angel in a pub. Yeah. Yeah. Just puck. That is amazing.

Just sprinkled a bit of gold dust on me and left. And your whole life is completely different. Yeah, he's probably somewhere going, she should get. give me fucking 10%. Yeah. He must be so pissed. Yeah, you really blew it. As much as I can credit him.

Yeah. Because I didn't have to go for it. Although it was quite funny because when he offered it to me, you know, when he proposed it to me. Right. I was like, I would never be on television. And he was like, well, it's £1,000 a day. And I was like, well, what is the email address, please?

Can I have it immediately? Integrity, like, snap. Like a twig. But it was a book by Danny Wallace called The Yes Man that, really made me go to the audition. Because I'm very easily impressionable. And this book is about a man with depression who decides to say yes to everything.

And so he ends up going on this massive amazing adventure and turning his entire life around by saying yes to everything. So I definitely implemented that into my life. And, you know, I've unfortunately said this before publicly. So cover your ears, my publicist, but other than anal, I've continued to do that. My bumhole is the only thing that remains, you know, undiscovered. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Yeah. Are you still in that mode? About anal. Yeah. Yeah. What about the yes part? Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah.

Are you? Yeah, look at everything I've done. Like, I had no business becoming a TV presenter. So I had no expertise or no experience whatsoever in front of a camera. I then started writing a column. I'd never been a writer and a journalist before. I did that for Cosmo for years. And then I had never done the radio before.

And I went and got my own show on the radio by filling in for other people. And then I got a popular response from the audience. So then I got my own show. And then I came to America, like never acted before, went to the audition for The Good Place, did that. Now I'm doing, you know, then I did Marvel as a supervillain doing stunts. and I'm the most physically pathetic person that's ever lived. Well, they definitely pulled it off.

You don't look like you couldn't do stuff. Oh my God, what a great stunts team. I really want them to have their own category in like the Oscars. They really should. Yeah, because they're unbelievable. Wait, do they now? Wait, are you saying you didn't do those things in She-Hulk? What?

No, I did. But they taught me how to. Oh, okay. They taught someone who was told by an osteopath that I'm clinically weak. They managed to get me to learn like Jiu-Jitsu, I could really fight. I could kick the shit out of people after leaving there after six months.

They were training me five days a week, three hours a day. And I turned into someone slightly physically capable for a while. Did it change how you carry yourself? It changed my gate. All my male friends were like, your gate has changed and you walk like a dude.

And mentally, were you like... Yeah, I was like fucking try something. I'll take you. like in the back of every Uber being like I wish you to fucking try something. I'd fucking try something. And actually like they'd have to know the exact opposite choreography to what I know from She-Hulk in order for me to win. No, you don't start like that. Yeah. No, no, the other hand.

Try and strangle me with the other hand. Yeah. So yeah. A nightmare. So are you still in the, how difficult was it? This is the yes thing. But to wrap up I weigh. it seemed like it must have been a pretty...

Did you feel like you had... Like we said in the beginning, it got pretty deep. So you have a lot of people that are kind of learning from you. Yeah, you're talking about my I-Way podcast. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Which is a podcast I had that was about kind of social justice and mental health for five years. Yeah. So it's, you know, you're helping people and you're kind of navigating these waters and it's kind of a...

Mm-hmm. It's... I imagine it'd be a tough thing to stop doing. Did you have like a... It was a really tough thing to stop doing and I really miss it but I started writing a substack so where I cover some of the same topics

so I still have some sort of outlet to be able to talk about things that are sometimes funny or sometimes on the dark side or sometimes a mixture of both because I crave still having those conversations but at the time when I parted ways with I-Way it was because a friend of mine had died

and it really crushed my brain like flattened my brain for a bit and then that can be with everything that's happening in the world in the Middle East, like on the news, in America. It was all too much. And I was like, I'm preaching mental health on a show where my mental health is diminishing

and I need to just take a little break for a while. So I'm sure I'll find a way to revisit that. But I needed to stop. And I also needed to, you know, walk the walk, which is, you know, I'm always encouraging people to take, you know, to have like, to indulge in a bit of respite or reprieve. And, and, and, is a way that I can give people that little bit of escapism every week.

And like I said, I still use my platforms otherwise to talk about serious things, but it's not 100% of what I talk about anymore. Because I need a bit of levity. And I think that's okay to admit. And I think we feel guilty about admitting that we need a little escapism and a little bit of joy now and then. But how also are you supposed to sustain a long-term fight? And actually, when you look at the work of all the great real activists, not a bunch of actors reposting shit on our Instagrams, like actual activists.

They all talk about the necessity of reprieve. And so I'm just trying to navigate that at the moment. Good for you. I mean, it's, yeah, I don't see how people get through life doing anything but, you know. And it's okay, but you can't just grind the whole time. Well, you'll die and then you're no good to anyone or you'll burn out and then you can't give anyone anything. Right.

What's the point? Yeah. Yeah. But it's, did you feel like, well, you were doing it before your friend had passed or before, like when you were just kind of in the middle of helping people out? Was it heavy even at that point? No, it wasn't as heavy. Yeah. It wasn't as heavy because my, I think she just tipped me over the edge.

Yeah. And she died in just like a very sudden, very brutal, horrific way. And I think it made me very angry with myself. that I didn't spend enough time with her at the end and I wasn't there when she needed me in the final moment because I was at work and I think it made me hate work and resent my life and resent my job and everything.

You know, which I'm sure is just, you know, foolish and misplaced rage, but that's how I felt. Yeah. And so I think I just wanted to completely shake up my whole life just to find myself again. Yeah, yeah. Grief is like such a sloppy, messy bitch

It's so messy because you never know You never know How it's going to hit you It's not the same for everyone And it creeps up on you And suddenly you're crying Over fucking cold play And you know

In a field And you just you just stop sleeping And your habits change Like I became addicted to Panetone Addicted, yes That's right I saw it right there And I was like

Did my publicist tip you off? I became addicted to Panetone Which is largely a Christmas food, right? But, you know, but there I am with my Panetone addiction in July on a black market of Panetone, you know, on eBay. They're still around. Yeah, they're still around. Just with like, on like weird forums with other like fucking Panetone freaks. How do you like to eat it? Huh? Just, I like to raw dog panatoni. Raw dog. Don't, don't toasting it. I'm not toasting butter on it. No, I'm just like, I'm raw dogging the panatoni. Just like fist. I don't use

a knife. I just put my fist in it and I shove it in my face. You're a dream. Yeah. An absolute dream. Can you believe someone has decided to live with me for 11 years? Isn't that just the sign of the apocalypse? He is very lucky. Yeah, what a poor man. Again, that's who those songs are about. Just remember, he's walking in, seeing someone having a nervous breakdown,

fissing raw dog pantony, covered in crumbs and like overly sweet candied fruit. And he's like, hmm. for feels inspired. Yeah, it's heavenly. What a fucking joke. The other weird thing about grief, I don't want to linger on it too much, but the other weird thing is that you don't,

you never know where you're at and how it's going to affect you. Like there are times when you're just, for whatever reason, your life is in a place where you're capable of dealing with a big loss in your life. And you're able to, you're able to do it.

And then one, then a loss will come up, which on paper might seem. Yeah. You didn't see coming. And maybe even on paper seems like it would be small. And it can completely devastate you. Well, I think something that's really interesting is that, and I don't think I really understood this until this happened because she was the first really close friend I lost. You know, I've had, you know, I had an uncle die in my arms when I was a child.

You know, like I've experienced death before. Yeah. But there's so much comforting. that happens when you lose the people you're supposed to grieve over, which is family or a partner. But when you lose a friend, people don't really take it as seriously. And yet friends are like the loves of our lives. You know, there are many friendships that will far outlive romantic attachments. Yeah. And there's so much more sympathy when you lose a partner and so much more attention and so much more checking in. And not that I even wanted or needed those things,

But I did notice. And also, I wasn't prepared. That's the biggest thing is that I would be prepared somewhat for the grief of losing someone that I'm supposed to grieve and lose my mind over. I didn't expect to grieve a friend like that because society has never told me what that kind of heartbreak is. It's like when we see countless songs or films or books about the breakup of relationships, but there's nothing about the breakups of friends. And, you know, whenever I do a kind of ask me anything on my podcasts or on my social media, The bigger, or on my substack, the biggest question that comes up every time is how do I deal with the breakup of a friendship?

People have nowhere to fucking turn. It's so interesting. And so I think that's also what, you know, shook me really badly is not expecting the pain of losing a friend because society doesn't impress much importance on something that is actually the pivotal foundation of our lives. It's our community. Yeah. And it's also very private. Your friendship is very private. Yeah.

And people have weird ways of dealing with grief. I know someone who had to masturbate his grandmother's funeral because he was so stressed. I thought you weren't going to repeat that. I thought that was between us. Hey man. I brought you bread. There's no shame in the game. Yeah, but it's gluten-free bread.

I lost friends, all my dear friends. Because you masturbated at their grandmother's funeral. Exactly. But the first one was like when I was 13, 14. Oh. And that kind of like... Was it another 13, 14 year old? Mm-hmm.

I'm so. Sorry, that's so massive at that age. It is massive, but it kind of sets life in a perspective. It gives you a perspective on that unexpected. Yeah. You expect it. Right. Pretty much.

But then do you go looking for it? No. Because I had a friend one time who I was less close to, but we were supposed to meet up and she stood me up. And that was really rude. And then I texted her and she didn't respond. And then she didn't respond all day. And I was incensed because I'd taken the day off to hang out with her.

And then I finally phone her house phone and someone picks up and it's her daughter. And I was like, where's your mom? She hasn't turned up all day. And she just said, mommy's dead. And this is not the friend I'm talking about last year. This is when I was in my early 20s. And now if you don't text me back within fucking 20 minutes, I'm 100% to earn that you're dead. Oh, yeah, yeah.

So I've carried that with me forever. Yeah. So I, like, frantically follow up. So you cannot not text me back. Yeah. And yet I don't text people back for days. So the hypocrisy is unbelievable. Like, it's unreal.

I'm, like, I'm going straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200. My second closest friend who passed away was the same exact story. I was waiting at a restaurant for him to come and he never came. Oh, no. But thankfully, it was. before texting.

So I don't have that problem. Oh, you're so lucky. So lucky. I want to show you something. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. So is it my entire life? You're going to show me a real of my entire life.

This is actually, you probably find a little relief. It's more, it's more on me. Great. Than it is on you. Fabulous. Love that. But you're so,

you're so insightful in talking about dealing with your self-image and trying to dealing, hope people navigate their self-esteem and all that kind of stuff, no. This is, this happened to me over the weekend. My tour manager was looking up a show I have coming up in the summer.

And they brought back this image of me that the, I don't know if it's a ticket site or if it's the venue. How am I supposed to feel about, about this image of myself generated by AI? Whoa. Isn't that horrible? It doesn't look like you. I know, but it's my shirt.

It's literally the shirt I'm wearing right now. It is literally the shirt you're wearing now. But what's it done? It's made you look so weird. It's made me... Why did he do that? Why didn't he just use a picture of you? I don't know.

There's plenty of pictures of me out there in the world. But I think they're just saying AI do all the stuff for this thing. This is what we were talking about before. This is like going too far with AI. You look like you're taking whatever. Elon's taking. Right. Are you look thrilled?

You look happy. I feel horrible. And it's not even me. I know it's not me. But it's enough elements of me to make me kind of hate me. Has anyone put your face on someone else's nudes? No. Does that happen to you?

Oh, yeah, big time. Oh, really? But it's great because now if my ever actual nudes circulate, I'm going to gaslight the public and be like, it's AI. Because now it will just filter in with all the other nudes of me. And so you can't tell which is which because they're all so realistic.

So I could just now start doing whatever I want and be like, it's AI. I think that's what we're about to start seeing in politics, right? Right. Just going to kill people right on camera and be like, ugh, AI. Yeah. I don't think we're going to know whether up is down or down is up soon.

I know. It's going to get really scary. Yeah, it's going to get really scary. Yeah. It's going to get really scary. Are you? Yeah. You will be.

Yeah, until they do this to you. Oh, they've done way worse to me, trust me. Yeah. You always look amazing, though. You always look like your whole Instagram is an example of someone that looks great in whatever they want you to wear. Well, Instagram is where you don't put the worst photos of yourself. Oh, technically. That's why my followers are falling off.

Because Instagram is really just a place where you're saying, hi, to any brands, do you like me? Look how nice I look in this dress I could look nice in one of your dresses That's how it happens Do you like my lipstick? Imagine how I'd look in your lipstick That's why my Instagram looks nice That's amazing

Yeah a lot of the time I do post myself looking rough in stories Because it's 24 hours You know, it doesn't live in perpetuity Oh so that's where you get the real Yeah that's why you see me look like Saddam Hussein at the very end when he's in the cave. He's in the cave with the little Coca-Cola and the Mars bar,

the fun-sized marl bar. That's where people get the real meat. It's all going down in my stories. It's all in the stories. But on grid, I'm a perfect little angel queen. You really are. I feel like a movie scar. Do you have any scars?

Scars all over my body. What's got the coolest story attached to it? Well, I have sex on a pool table once, scar. A scar from that? Yeah, because it was an old pool table. Bumper pool. And so I got like, I think nearly got

tetanus or locked door or something from it because it was like an old one. And so like part of the metal was coming off the corner of the leg. Oh no. And I just like slice to my leg. So that's kind of like a badass one. Yeah, it is. And then the less badass one is when I was

running for a curry. And I'd already eaten dinner that night. So I didn't need to run for this curry. favorite curry house was closing and I really wanted a lamb biryani. So I was running so fast that I tripped over myself and I split my knee open right outside the curry house. So it was so close and yet so fast and so far and then the ambulance had to like take me and I was like, could I just go in and quickly get a lamb buriani and we're like, fucking no.

There are real emergencies happening. Get in the car. This is important. It's like someone could be having a heart attack right now. get in the fucking ban. Can you get good Indian food in L.A.? Nope. You really can't, right?

Mm-hmm. It's trash. Yeah. It's really bad. It's a hate crime. Why is that? I don't know. And it's made by Indians here, so, like, shame on us,

but I can't cook fucking Indian food either. Yeah. So I can't say shit. But it's as if I'm cooking the food. That's how bad it is. You haven't found one place. It's like... Cinnamon is okay in West Hollywood.

That's quite nice. But like the standard in London is unreal. Yeah. It's damn near better than some restaurants even in India and Pakistan. Yeah. We throw down in England. I know. I had my last trip to London and my friend tip me off on,

uh, Virdas actually told me where to go. Oh yeah. Love Virdas. So great. And he told me where to go and we went and ate it and we're like, oh, we've never had Indian food before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was completely, it was just fantastic. But the Mexican food here is amazing,

and the Mexican food in England is trash. So, you know, when God giveth, he taketh away. Yeah, son of a hoo-ha. Can I ask you a question? No, I'm done. Really? Just a couple more. No, you run out time. Come on.

Okay, fine. I'm going to do your podcast, I'm going to let you ask anything you want. You have made a lot of famous. famous people. Yeah. You got, did you have any run-ins

that were very uncomfortable? Or maybe you said the wrong thing. Why is my publicist laughing? Are you fucking kidding me? I heard that. Who are you thinking of? When you went through the phase of smelling celebrities on red carpets.

Oh, yeah. I made things weird. I'm the bad celebrity in all of these stories. And fuck you, Jen. I started sniffing celebrities. Oh, see how they smell? Yeah, I just wanted to know. It's interesting.

I always wondered. Yeah. I got Paul Rudd. What do he smell like? That went viral. And then I got Keanu also went viral, which means I'm not alone in wanting to know what these people smell like. But also, am I a bit of a fucking freak?

Yeah. Do you remember what they smelled like? Um, money. Yeah, rich. Riches. Money, agelessness and innate goodness. I chose the two freshest men to smell. Yeah.

I think I sniffed Maya Rudolph. She smells fucking great. Right. Yeah. Just heavenly scent. Do you like cologne on a man? I like something woody, but I don't like something flowery on anyone. Right.

It's foul. It just always makes me imagine like a grandma's, you know. Yeah, like rosewater kind of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yuck. Disgusting. Yeah.

Gross. I like, I like woody, oaky sort of, you know, sandalwood. Right. Tobacco. Yeah. Tobacco's a great scent. Cigar? No, disgusting.

Sorry. Damn it. Yeah. Who would you rather go on a date with old George Clooney or young Barbara Streisand? Young Barbara Streisand. Yeah. Yeah. She's fucking hilarious.

and gorgeous, wow. So unique. I watch a funny girl and like the whole film is about ugly she is. And I'm like, what's happening? It's like, if a girl isn't pretty like the Miss Atlantic City, all she gets in life is pity and a pet. And you're like, what the fuck is going on? Like, she's so beautiful.

Yeah. Those lips, those eyes. Completely unique, I know. It's like Bridget Jones is eye where it's like, oh, boom, boom, boom. And then this size eight woman walks through the fucking, like, You know, it's like Jurassic Park where there's like, every time she takes a step there's like a ripple in the water

and it's just this thin, normal thin woman. Yeah, yeah. So annoying. It's so funny. Does old George Clooney do anything for you? He does my taxes, actually. No, I'm joking. I think he's a very handsome man.

I think he's a great example of why I shouldn't have to change my hairstyle because he hasn't changed his. And so basically, when the internet gets angry that I've had the same hairstyle since I was two and I'm 39 now, so that's also the entirety of my career. I've looked exactly the same.

I've decided that until George changes his hair, I'm not changing mine. Oh, that's smart. So I'm actually quite tied to him in that way. Yeah, I wonder if he knows. Yeah, I don't know, yeah, but he'll find out now. That's amazing. Yeah, please don't shave your head.

Yeah. Please, please. Don't change anything. What would you change? I'm probably going to chop it off. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm going to chop it off and go for a French job. You've never had that short.

Only once when I was 15 because I went to this wretched hairdresser who I went to for a trim. I got signed to a modeling agency, so it was technically a model but never got a single callback. So I never, I don't think I could actually call myself a model. But I went for a trim and she grabbed my hair into a ponytail and cut the whole thing off. And I had 21 inches of hair gone, which she probably sold for like $10,000. But I'll never forget I was looking in the mirror And I couldn't see what she'd done But my mum was in the car

Outside and I could see my mum in the reflection And I saw her reaction and that's how I knew that my hair was all gone So after that I refused to let anyone touch my hair So I cut my own hair Wow Cut my own disastrous fringe And I've just not changed anything Because it would require someone coming near me with scissors

So when that happened and she cut all your hair off That's when you started doing the coat check at the parties? No, no, no. I was already doing that. Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing changed. I just always thought it was quite like a school shooter vibe, you know, at school.

I was like sort of silent, lonely and starey, you know. Just kind of stay. Yeah. And I wore like a, you know, like a combat jacket. I'm in England. I'm in central London. I'm going to the same school that Queen Elizabeth went to. Why am I wearing an army jacket?

You're a fucking cycle. Exactly. Yeah, you're letting you freak out. Yeah. And then 9-11 happened and I was like, I'm going to stop wearing this jacket now. Yeah, it's time to blend in. I'm not going to use a backpack anymore for school. I'm just going to hold my books loose in my hands.

What is an 80-year-old version of you going to be? Oh, she's going to be so fucking rowdy. I can't wait to meet her. I think about her all the time. Big glasses. Big glasses. Big glasses. big clothes.

Like I keep a lot of my clothes. You know, there's a lot of talk all your life about like, you know, you don't want to be mutton dressed as lamb. And so you're supposed to give away clothes that you're, you know,

are too young for you. But when I come across those clothes, I'm like, maybe I won't get away with it at 50, but I will come back around again at 80 and it'll be amusing again. So I, you turn into like a rodeo clown.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I'm keeping my little tiny short jumpsuits and stuff and I'm like I'm going to be an adorable old woman. That's awesome. You know, wearing just wild shit and the feathers and see-through and, you know, just I had this therapist who I only saw for like three months, which is why I'm still crazy. But I, but she would, you know, was in her like 70s wearing like pedal pushers and heels and a necktie and like looked like she was dressed out of something out of Greece.

Yeah. Like Rizzo. And I was like, she looked fucking amazing every day. Yeah. And I love. that and I can't wait to be old and I really want to celebrate it and I really want to be you know I finally started looking after myself uh my health recently because I'm so aware that I'm going to fuck her over if I don't look after myself now right and then she's going to be

mad at me the way I'm mad at my 20 year old self for not looking after me yeah yeah and I don't I'm a very big people pleaser so I really want 85 year old me to like me yeah so I'm living my life entirely for her approval That's awesome. Yeah. That's really great. Thank you. It's a great way to look at it.

It is great. You know, I'm thinking about bone density and all kinds of things and what she's going to wear and how she's going to live. And I'm having adventures now that she can look back on, you know, when you get those brief like sort of flashbacks during the Jemensha. Yeah. I will have Jammensha. It's my own special brand. Yeah.

That's really brilliant. I like that philosophy. Yeah. Honestly, it's changed my life. Yeah. And I think if we all thought like that, you know, we're all taught to dread. aging in the west, not even in just the west, but America and England, we put old people, not even old people, we just put 60-year-olds by the window and then leave them there until they

finally rot away and we can circle them like vultures for their, you know, deeds and wills. But in Europe, you just grow in value. Right. And also in Asia. You know, you're still a central part of the community, of the unit. Like respect goes up. up for you in other parts of the world, but I feel like respect goes down for elderly people here. Absolutely.

And I, you know, I walk around in like Berlin and Paris and stuff and I, you know, London's as bad as America for this. Oh, it is. But, but in Europe and when I'm in like, you know, Germany, I'm out at midnight and there's like 80 and 90 year old out drinking coffee at midnight. Right. Living their lives to the fullest extent and they're sharp and they're vital and they're in the museums and they're still walking.

And you're like, wow, this is how you're supposed to live and there's such a reverence for them in society. And they've got the best stories and young people are conversing with the elderly. And it just feels so much less detached than whatever this fucking nightmare is in America and the United Kingdom. Yeah, that's great. And you can see via how stupid we're all becoming that we're not ingesting the wisdom of the elders. No. Because we've left them alone by the window.

And that's no other culture that does that. Yeah. And it's, it's, it's, it's, uh, diminishing society. I had someone send me, uh, a correspondence on social media, I think it was or email. Anyway, we're going back and forth. And they were so sharp and so funny. And we're just having this little back and forth like, you know, three or four exchanges, but like a little lengthy.

And it wasn't until like the fourth or fifth that I learned that she was 78 years old. Yes. And it. It really blew my mind. I just didn't, I just naturally thought someone this smart and this funny was my age or younger. Yeah. 78. I was like, oh, they're all.

They're so great and we treat them, we infantilize them so early. And, you know, like, I hate it when my friends get really weird if I say anything remotely, you know, even mentioning sex around their parents. And it's like, your parents were probably 69ing yesterday. Fucking calm down. They've literally had more time to have more sex than you've managed to have. And they weren't from the weirdo online dating world. They probably have actual sex and fun. They were there in the 60s and the 70s.

They've been fucking. Right. And so I get really, yeah, exactly. I get really irritated, by the way that we just take the fangs out of like, you know, the elderly. Like they're so sharp, so funny. Like my substack, it's an essay. writing platform the majority of my audience and it's a deeply inappropriate substack i write like completely raw essays about anything from politics to sex to jokes about dildos and all sorts of you know like it's racy and the majority of my audience are in their 70s really yeah amazing and the

letters and the correspondence i get are just people who are just like oh i love this i really relate to this And I was like, oh, this is so refreshing. That's so great. You imagine they'll be offended by something outrageous where I was like, they birthed like genuine outrage, genuine protest, genuine politics. Like we're just a bunch of fucking losers and whims. Who aren't keeping it going. Yeah.

Who are just being like, don't tell them about masturbating. Shut up. I hate us. We're the worst. The worst. This is so great. This is really nice meeting you. Oh, so.

Yeah, completely. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I hope we stay in each other's orbit. No, I think we're done here. Damn it. I always try. Why has everyone ended like that? But I'm still taking the bread. Yeah, the bread, we have a bag for you. We'll give you the bed. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'll see you soon. We got it, kids.

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