Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 271 - Steph Tolev

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

This week on Breaking Bread Steph Tolev joins us at the table! Tom and Steph discuss her new -first ever- Netflix special and the importance of not looking wet. They also dive into social media trolls, bar fights, and body ailments. Perhaps the most wild development: Tom might start wearing jumpsuits. Enjoy!  Check out Steph's new Netflix special Filth Queen streaming now!  Go to FactorMeals.com/Papa50off and use code papa50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box.  ---------- 0:00:00 Intro 0:01:00 Patreon Shout out 0:01:24 Steph's new special: Filth Queen & Bill Burr  0:03:20 Social media and filming in public 0:06:50 Trolls on social media 0:08:10 Getting jacked for special  0:12:36 You can't look wet 0:14:32 Building out jokes  0:17:02 Opening of special in Fenway 0:19:25 Body ailments before big events 0:21:18 Hinge story  0:25:55 Comedy influences & competitive dance 0:29:05 Audience member's saying "no" 0:30:31 Factor Ad 0:32:55 Lumped up 0:34:00 Gnarly bar brawl 0:36:15 Uncomfortable moment & jumpsuits 0:40:12 Scars 0:42:00 Reversing down driveways & first cars 0:42:47 Being Canadian and comedians being deported 0:46:28 Ticklish and having kids 0:50:40 Working on new hour and getting sprayed in Barcelona 0:51:55 Back to jumpsuits and creeps 0:55:55 Touring, openers, and creepy men after shows ---------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Patreon - Patreon.com/BreakingBreadWithTomPapa Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread #stephtolev #billburr Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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on Ontario. 50 tours on $10. Deboeys'clock. Beye to play in a responsible. The conditions apply. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Last one? Last one was years ago in Toronto I punched her on the face. You did? I thought she stole my cell phone

and that turns out it was in my back pocket. Wait, but I did punch her in the face. Yeah, yeah. She's getting kicked out of this bar and she started a whole brawl and then the way out the bounce her header

and I gave her a little sucker punch. And did the whole brawl start from the cell phone? No, it started because she pushed my boyfriend at the time and then I pushed her back and then three girls jumped on top of me and then one of her, their guy friends

came over and like punch me in the face and like, well that kind of hurt. And then my sister got involved kicked some people and it turned to like, it was like a crazy bar brawale. Yeah, it was pretty fun. I know, it was fun. I know, it was fun.

Because nobody got really hurt. Yeah. I would just scratch. Like, the girls were just like more scratching me. So they ripped my shirt. It was all like in treads. And I said like bloody scratches off my face. No.

Yeah. But I got the last laugh in there. That's fine. It was like an iPhone two. And I was like, oh, there it is. You're mine. That you took it. Sorry.

It's breaking bread. If you haven't joined our Patreon yet, you really should. It's pretty great. stuff from the road you get extra downloads after the episode lots of cool content go over to patreon dot com and look up our podcast and uh we'd love to see you over there and for those of you have already signed up we'll see you there in a little bit congratulations on the special fantastic thank you fantastic you did a great job thank you thank you for watching yeah i was just saying you're the

first comic to watch it i was like nervous coming over here it's crazy it captures you like it's exactly what you want. It's not like sanitized kind of special where you're like oh that's not really them but it's not small like well we you know just shot it on our own in the back basement of something I sense every cent that they gave me. I'm simply in the whole time here right now. I don't know what to tell you. There's no money being made. People are like oh Netflix special there's no I have no money. Yeah you don't get yeah I don't I don't I don't I'm not complaining I don't want I'm like of course I'm so happy to on fucking Netflix but I'm like yeah you know sorry I swore three seconds of me not being not being monetized when I'm on. Sorry, Tom. Whatever. Bleepy, bleepie.

We've had two people that haven't cursed, I think. Oh, okay. One was Justin Wilman. Yeah, okay. And that's why he's number three on Netflix. Well, yeah, you should pour it all into it. You have to. Yeah. Your first special, especially in like a huge platform, I'm not going to screw around here.

Yeah. And great job on Bill decided, Bill Byrd decided to producer. Did he come to you or did you come to him? It was a, it was, they kind of came to, it was a combo. Right. Because I, I do stuff with all, like, my podcast with all things comedy. And they had mentioned that they had like some deal where there's like, they got 10 specials. Right. And they had like put my name in the hat. And at first it was a, it was a big maybe. Right. Big maybe for a while. It was, uh, she doesn't have enough followers. Uh, and I was like, oh, oh, okay. And then I spent thousands of dollars on social media people for,

a few months. Really? That did nothing. I highly recommend anyone listening. Do your own social media. I don't know. I know. Maybe you have somebody good.

Yeah. But if you're at my level, do your own stuff. Yeah. Well, your stuff is so great. My stuff is insane. You're so funny on social media. It's demented.

But it looks like you enjoy it. Yeah. Well, does it? I'm good at acting. No, but really, like you're creative with it. And it's like, you know, you're not just having a stranger post shit. No, no, I started in sketch and improv.

So I think that was more fun for me to do like sketchy stuff. I enjoy sketch stuff more than posting stand-up all the time. Right, yeah. But then that gets tedious and embarrassing. I'm 40. I'm in publicly, ugh. You know what pathetic it feels? It doesn't feel.

It is embarrassing. I'm so glad to hear that you're uncomfortable doing it. It's hell. Because I watch you and it seems like I think to myself purely, 100%, I think, why can't I be that free out in the world? Look at her, just the balls of just going, running around in parks and in front of people on streets. Embarrassing.

Embarrassing. I actually will say, I posted one recently where I did this, like I'm walking here video in New York. And as I was doing it, it was so embarrassed. This guy saw me, and he went, he gave me this face. And then he fucking tripped on the curb. And he was like, out, out! And I was like, that's what you get.

That's what you get for making fun of me. Now who's embarrassed. That's amazing. Yeah, I felt back. He didn't hurt his ankle. He was limping for a while. I did look back and he was like, oh, that guy really hurt himself.

That's so great. It was pathetic. I don't mind out here, though. I will say in L.A. filming, everyone's so far up their own ass. Yeah. That no one ever, like I literally filmed something the day where I was dressed like a mermaid,

Griffith Park, in like a creek, full mermaid. One woman went like this. And walked by. No one stopped. No one said anything. Like there was kids playing. Even the kids didn't care.

Yeah. They were like, It was a woman as a mermaid. No one cares. I went to see a concert at the Hollywood Bowl last week. And we got there early, you know. And during the opening act, I was like, I want to see the opening act.

During the opening act, there was three clumps of young girl friends of like four each in each clump, just doing all their content. And like with the band behind them and like getting the flag and like posing. And I was watching them. I was like, these, these girls are sophisticated. Like, this is a shoot. This is a full on shoot.

Did they have like a light too? Yeah, yeah, they had light. One of them had a light. They knew exactly what shots they needed. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were like, you can get it. Yes. They blow this show away.

If you're organized like that, but it's just, it really is, it's embarrassing. That's good to hear. But that New York video, I think I'm walking here, Was that the biggest one you've had? That I could watch that every day. It was. That's where Bill saw me. Yeah.

Bill saw that video and then put me on his first Netflix special, The Friends Who Kill. That's how it all started that stupid video. From that video. From that video. I think my biggest one might have been... So funny. This mermaid thing. It's like, it's literally like 12 years old and I reposted it like a year ago thinking whatever.

And it's like almost 12 million views. Whoa. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's this gross. mermaid smoking on a rock. And I'm like a pervert. That's all it is. For some reason, I can get away with being a pervert

more than of a mermaid. But it's my stand-up clip. Men are like, women are funny. But then if I'm a mermaid, they're like, this girl's hilarious. It's the same thing. I'm doing the exact same bit. I'm being a pervert. Like, that's it. Oh, my God. Do you get that pushback? Oh, my God. Really? I get trolled probably more than I would say most people online.

Really? Oh, yeah. Why? I think I'm like very, I seem very confident online. Yeah. And especially with a lot of my stuff, like, you've seen me at the store. I'm like yelling at men in the front row. Right. Whatever.

Yeah. I think because I seem confident and I'm like aggressive towards men, men are like, no. Yeah. Wow. Really? They get pissed. It's a whole different world for women on social media. It's a completely different.

It's not funny. Also, there's a whole thing right now with men hating my nose in a way that's started to become funny. Like, they get so mad. They're like that fucking beak. What the fuck? Your mom's house, I just did the pod and I talked about how I'm doing a spread for Hustler, not nude fully.

Everything's tucked in, don't worry. And every man was like, is your fucking nose getting a centerfold? As if anyone was looking at this ugly bitch like just all hundreds of comments of my appearance and I'm like, it's crazy. Like they get so angry over it. I'm like, buddy, don't look at me then.

Yeah, what the hell? Look away. There's so many other things to look at. It's insane. Oh my God. It's probably because I know I have a hot boyfriend. Well, can I say, this without, I'm going to say it.

I always want to say it, and then I don't say it out of respect, but I'm going to say it just off of that. You're stunning and you're special. Thank you. You're stunning and you're special. I tried. Your legs are killer. Your outfit's great. Those big chunky shoes. You look great. You look amazing.

I lost a lot of weight for that thing. Did you really? Oh, I got jacked. I jacked out. I did full, like, I did crazy like workout program. Wow. I counted every single calorie. Put my body for like four months. I weighed food. I'd weigh my chicken.

I'd weigh my rice. No way. I weighed my oats in the morning. Oh, it was crazy. Really? Oh, wild. Wow. Well, it paid off.

Like, I would be like, oh, like a bit of almond milk on my coffee. I'd plug it into like my fitness pal app. And I would, like, I didn't even have oil for like three months because every time you put olive oil, it's like 170 calories for one teaspoon. So I'm like, well, no oil.

Can't have dressing today. So salad would be like lemon squirt. It was a hell. I was so hungry for three months. Oh, my God. I was so off. said. Yeah.

Didn't drink. No alcohol. Probably helps your act, though. That's, it is. It fuels your attitude on stage. Yeah. I didn't want, this is so fucked, but I didn't want men to comment that I was like, fat, ugly and not funny.

So I was like, they can't say I'm fat at least. Oh my God. They can say the other two things, but they can't say I'm fat because I'm jacked. Now, let me ask you this and this may be naive, but can you just not look at this shit? Well, that's why I'm happy to on Netflix because I don't have to, there's no comment section. Right. And that's why I'm happy. because I really didn't want my first special to be on YouTube

because I don't want to just be trolled like that. But obviously the comments on Instagram, whatever, all that crap, but just the fact that I know that I, because I don't know why I look. I know. Sick. Why do you look?

It's a sickness. Because sometimes I'd like to delete them. I don't want them on my page. It's like a shocking thing when you see, yeah, well, yeah, you should wipe them out. Yeah, I want them gone. And there is kind of like this weird, like you almost can't believe when people are that vile

that it makes you look more. And and I, the worst thing I do, and I shouldn't do this, I'll click on the profile. Yeah. And it's, it's the ugliest person on the planet Earth. Of course. It's not even like, like obese, wet. I'm just like, when you're wet in a photo, something's up. And I'm like, it's always them.

And I'm like, I guess they've been hurt so much. They're like, it's my turn. I can just go after somebody. I do a thing now and I got to stop doing it where I'll take a screenshot of them. And if they say, I'm ugly, I'll screen. shot their face, zoom in, and comment, this you, underneath. They don't love that. They really don't love that.

And then, like, everyone was like, oh, yeah. But, like, the one, the mom's house clip was so fucked because so many men were coming at me that it was so vile that other men were like, hey, she's not that ugly. Oh, my God. It was, like, so crazy that other men were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up here, guys. Oh, my God. I know.

Insane. But also, the jokes on them, because it does help, does help algorithm. So I'm like, yeah, more people see it. Sorry, pal. And most people know that those guys. are insane. Everyone knows they're insane. I don't know why they think they're not insane.

Right. No one's reading that comic going, yeah. Yeah. This fat pig's right. That is a fat pig. No one's reading that going, I like this guy. I'm going to follow user number 28, 28, 28, 28.

Oh my God. There's a photo of 10 trucks and just his corner of his eye. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't care. I shouldn't care. Yeah. I shouldn't care.

You shouldn't care. But I, I, yeah. Because I'm happy. I do, you know what? I do this special. That's also a jumpsuit. I had made a personally made jumpsuit. It looked amazing.

We kind of modeled off like Angus Young. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, because I wanted like a whole rock and roll kind of vibe because it was filmed at the parents rock club. Yeah, the speakers in the back. Yeah, yeah. And the lights, that was ripped right off of the Van Halen, like one of their 80s tours. Oh, really? Yeah, they had all those were the same color lights they had.

Ah. And the trellises. Oh, man. Oh, man. Great job. Because I have a mullet. So I'm like, you got to keep with the whole 80s theme. that's happening here.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird thing. But that's why I hesitate. That's why I hesitate to say you looked amazing. No, I did hear this. I'm not saying in retaliation for people shitting on you. Yeah, right, Tom. Really, but you really looked amazing.

I go home, but you're like, you ugly pig. I'm like, three of my videos. I'm like, Tom, Papa, Jesus. What happened to Tom? But that's why I hesitate is because I don't want that to be the thing. No. But on the other side, I do.

You like, you want to compliment somebody when they look great. Yes. You know what I mean? I want to, I don't want to look fat in my specials. No. You know, you always look very good and nice and clean and dry.

And dry. I will say a lot of men are very wet in their specials. You use wet and your special too. You, when you say wet, it has a, it has a lot more meaning to it. Because you,

did you stop at all during yours and like, and dab? No, no dab. No, no dab. No, well, you know what happened? I stopped. I used to sweat a lot more.

And I don't know if it's connected to this, probably somewhat. I stopped taking the mic out of the stand. Oh. There was a time where I was like, I just want to, I just, I feel like I'm acting out too much. I was in a little, and I was like, I want to make sure the material's solid enough that it doesn't need all this extra. So I just did that like as an experiment for a while. And then I stuck with it. And I think because I'm not moving around so much.

Okay. I don't sweat as much. Okay. Yeah. Because you were like very dry. Because I always wonder because I made sure that we had like a, my boyfriend actually ran on the teleprompter and he would write bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs. And that meant I was sweating.

My bangs were all fucked up. So they'd stop and they'd come out and drive. I'm like, I'm not being wet. I can't be wet, fat, ugly and not funny. I got to, you got to take out these other factors here. Yeah. So I kept like my makeup guy can come out dabbing me and drying me off, resetting my bangs. Isn't it amazing?

If you don't have someone that close to you, no one else is going to, even. like your agents or like people that are pretty close. You need someone like who you sleep with to say bangs. Yes. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Also my wife is like the only one who's like his collar's messed up. His collar's messed up.

Everyone's like we're in the middle of a special. And you're like, you must. Well, Joe Rogan. He was soaking wet. Right. He was my main thing. I'm like, I can't be wet like that. Right.

He had a sweat state. He was dripping. And I'm like, I simply can't look like that. Right. No, you can't. No one cares Joe Rogan's wet. I care that I'm wet. That's my whole take on this.

I would need to. be dry. Your material is so funny. It's so good. How long, because this is your first big one, I mean, you did the other one with Bill. Yeah. So this, so is some of this material

that you've been holding for a while? Oh, there's some old jokes on there. That's great. Oh, I have the tuna joke and the cap puke. Cat puke was my first closer. Oh, really? I'm talking like, that's a 17-year-old joke. That's great.

I was like, I don't give a shit. I know. I did it on one like just for laughs, like that those whatever tapings. It's on YouTube. But I'm like, no one's seen that. Nope. It's going on this. Yeah.

Sorry. This joke still kills. It gets an applause break every time. That's my like go to joke if I'm at a club and they didn't Google me. And I'm bombing. I'm like, uh-oh. Bringing out the cat puke. Like that's the one that I always bring out and it always does well.

Yeah. But I'm like, now I can finally be like, it's over. Yeah. Now give it its place. Yeah. Because there's a couple that it was weird because I started dating my boyfriend in the middle of getting ready for this special. So we started dating.

I already held these jokes about being single and like that's how I started blowing up online because I made fun of Man on Hinge and Tinder and I would like show screenshots of our conversations like crazy shit. And then we started dating and I was like, well, I can't, I feel so unauthentic if I don't mention him at some point and like kind of weave in that. Yeah. So that comes. Is he a comic?

He's a, yeah, he kind of is. He's, um, you know, Shooter McGavin from Christopher McDonnell. Yeah. It's his nephew. Oh. And he looks exactly like him. It's very bizarre. Oh, really?

Yes, it's very strange. How'd you meet? At the laugh factory. Oh, really? I was a fan girling over at Shooter McDonald. I was like, Shooter McAvance here. And I was like, oh, my God. And I'm like, who the hell is this guy?

He's like, it's my nephew. And I was like, okay. And then he'd be DM me that night and we have been together for almost two years. Wow. I know. Very nice. And nobody ever hits on me after a show. So I was like, something's wrong with this guy.

Yeah. No man sees me up there like, oh, my big fat, booze and they were like, this girl's cute. I want to show her to my mother. Like, no one ever does that. I have the same problem. I have middle-aged women coming up and being like, I made you bread. That's nice.

See, that seems nicer. Yeah. You're not dieting now, are you? No, I'll eat bread. All right, good. This is your bread. I made it this morning. I'm going to suck that bread back.

All right, good. Dipping in some oil, some balsamic. I'm not counting the calories. Good. Am I allowed to dip your bread or is it offensive? No, you can do whatever to that bread. Yeah. No.

Olive oil? Yeah. You don't want to know what I do. Talking of, yeah, of seductive things you could do with food. The opening of your special is so funny. You did like a little film thing where you were running around. You do a thing with a hot dog. Oh, yes.

It's really, it's like, it was like a throwback to like Python or to, you know. That's what I was trying to, yes, because I watched a lot of kids in the hall growing up. Right. And a lot of British TV, I watched a lot of faulty towers and, like, keeping up appearances. I don't know if you watch that. stuff because I'm Canadian that we had we I don't why we watch a lot of British stuff that was like on our TV all time so so I like that over the top goofy so falling for no reason yeah dummy like I I'm like I want the dummy I need a dummy a dummy coming out of the water dumby dumbing coming out of the water

dummy's just a funny and the dummy going over like over Fenway I was like this shot is so insane so great it was so crazy how'd you get to do that bill got us in there really oh yeah because bill was just there on some tour and they were like oh yeah and then I'm like we're throwing this dummy over. It's like, yeah, throw it over. We're like, okay. Amazing. I know.

We only did one take, so I was like, I don't want to do it. And you can't tell, but the dummy's face got completely smashed. And that was the first shot of the day. Oh, really? And so then my manager, sweetheart, Olivia, was out there looking for another dummies. She was like, when there's like Halloween store is trying to find a replica dummy. So we had to just do every other shot. That's why the dummies of the water because her face was completely gone.

So we had to like, oh, it's funnier. We had to keep her, like, as much down as possible. But yeah. The opening is my favorite part. It's so good. I'm like, if you don't like my comedy, I don't care. At the opening, you're going to find funny. You're 100%.

And I was literally just with a writer friend and he was talking about like montages and how people blow montages because they're never surprising. They're just like, oh, they're just kind of like, you see the bits coming. And the most effective part is what you did, which is you can't, it's going so fast. You can't get to the joke before you do. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really stupid funny.

It's so stupid. And the weiner. and that's my buddy, Andy. Just my we know, yeah, we had, we really, it was cute because all my friends, we filmed on the day after the special. Oh, nice. So you must have felt great.

Oh, yeah. And I was like that long fall. Sometimes I do a bit, that's why I did that. I had one of my things that kind of would viral a long time ago, but I fall on Griffith and I fall a little place. Yeah. But it hurts.

And sometimes I actually fall. So they're like, we can't do this the day before. Right. Because if you sprain something or fucking actually fall. Yeah. Or mess up your face. Yeah.

Mess up my face. Yeah. Even though I had a burn in my face, you couldn't tell. Thank God the makeup guy was so good. I got like a laser treatment and then I burnt my whole mouth. I had like huge blisters like the day before. I looked crazy. I had herpes.

No. And I was like, what is this? What am I going to do? I know. I'd like peel the scab and it covered up. Oh yeah, it was bad. Oh my God. There's always something.

There's always something. There's always something. You do all this planning, all these sets for years and getting it all down and getting it to the place where you to shoot. And then it's like... Some weird thing happens. Yeah, your eye starts twitching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Before bills to the Netflix as a joke one I did, I went to my sister's wedding and it was right when COVID was happening. So it was like the end of COVID and everyone was all parents. I said you had to do a test before you're going on any shoot. So the whole wedding I was masked. It was outside wedding and my sister thought it was crazy. I was like the whole photo shoot in the day. Like I had to take the photographer outside and tell me to please put a mask.

I'm like 10 times. She was so mad at me. She was getting so I like borderline ruined the way. I couldn't go hang out inside at all. Fine, no COVID. Go to tape. I end up getting this. a sun reaction where I had open sores all over my body

to the point where I had to rush to the hospital when I got home. I was wrapped in this gauze. Just from being in the sun? These massive blisters that were like open wounds that looked like third degree burns. And so I'm getting my hair makeup done and I had to wear a skirt for Bill's thing

because my legs were so fucked I couldn't put pants on. And I had to wear the fish nets because I had to have the band-aids hold in place. So Bill comes back. I have my dress up and I'm like fanning out my sores and he walks in and he goes, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that? I was like, I'm dying, Bill.

I was like, it was so bad. They were pushing. My manager had to change my, like, my gauze before I went on stage. It was crazy. Oh, my God. I know. But I'm like, I think I work better when I'm not thinking. I'm like, oh, my sores.

And then I'm like, I told me the name of your next special is sores. Open sores. Disgusting. It's so gross. The story, I don't want to give away a lot of your special, but the story on hinge of the guy with, his dog. Oh my God. That's all true. Everything I said in that special is true. It's all true. And I know people are not going to believe anything, but every single story was real. Yeah. And you go out of

your way to say that. But then the story's so bonkers. So the weirdest part of the Joel thing. So I posted that clip a while ago. Uh-huh. And some guy DM me going, hey, that's my buddy. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure it's my buddy. He's not doing well right now. He's going through a hard time. He's kind of had like a mental relapse. So I don't think it's nice that he made fun of him. I go, then someone should have taken away his fucking dog. I'm a huge dog owner. He killed his dog. He killed his dog. You killed your fucking dog. On a hike. You dragged him on a hike. It was dying of thirst and you dragged it down the hill.

You murdered your dog. I'm sorry. If you and he goes, yeah, fair, we probably should have done something before. And I was like, what is this? Don't come at me. A dying dog. I will fucking I'm obsessed with my dog. I'm a name tattooed in my leg. I'm literally obsessed with my dog. I will not tolerate dead dog stuff. It was he took him on a hike. He dragged.

He told me his opening line was that he took his dog on a hike. Yeah. And didn't give it enough water. And he said he didn't give it water. He didn't give any water. And he said, he said something like I pushed him to. I pushed him too hard. I pushed him too hard.

Which is such a douchey dad male. Why would you open on hinge saying this to me? That's yeah, that right. What are we doing here, boys? You're opening this time of me. You killed your dog. Yeah, get your dick ready. Coming over.

Send the address. Send me the pin. I pushed him too hard. Could you, oh, that, oh my God. That's that kind of mentality of like, you can do it. Suck it up. No. Like a dog.

A dog. And then he has to carry him back. Carry him back down. He died on the way down. On the way down in his arms. It's like, it literally is the screenshot of, I read it verbatim. I didn't even try to make it funny. I was like, this is exactly what happened.

It is mind-blowing. It's terrifying. Terrifying. It's scary stuff. There was a court case about a guy who did that to his son, like on a treadmill. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like that fake macho, I'm not macho, I'm going to make you do it thing.

And just, I remember that last summer I was at the beach and there was a dad like all jacked. And his son was like, again, gangly, like, 12-year-old, like, trying to please his dad. And his, he's yelling at his kid. He's like people, you know, Frisbee and whatever. And he's running his kid on the beach. In the sun, in the sun. In like, yeah, in August.

At the Jersey Shore. No. And he's just like, faster. Turn around. Turn around. He kept making him run backwards and then run forward. Oh, my God. I was like, someone's this guy.

Punch this guy in the face. Also, weird to do it so publicly. So, yeah. Everybody watched it. go my son can do it. It's like, this is, yeah. No, this, this behavior, something's going on. Your dress as a mermaid and you're

out in public and it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. This guy has no problem with, just abusing his own son. Abusing his son publicly. Probably like a Saturday on the beach. Just sand in everyone's drinks, like all over one's towels. Yeah. Kids sweating. No, that's crazy.

Yeah, it was completely insane. But man, but what a riveting thing for your special. I mean, I was really, I can't stop thinking about it. Good. Thank you. Yeah. What the heck. Yeah. It's so nice. Yeah, I just, it's, yeah, we were talking before, like, the coming out is like, the lead up is, it's just very stressful. When you have a special? Yeah. Yeah. How many of you don't know? You've done, you've done. Yeah. Was it your first one? Five. Yeah. Yeah. All of them are, yeah, I mean, it gets a little easier. But, uh, yeah, you still, whenever you make something and put it out. Yeah.

You know, you's a big thing. There's a big thing, you know. And I'm sorry to repeat that feeling with this podcast because I know you're going to be worried about how did I do in the podcast. Is there people going to like it? I hate to add to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so much fun because we've run into each other a whole bunch, but I never, we never really hung out. Because I did the, your unfortunate show at X-Am, but it's been like two seconds, I'm in and out.

Then I leave instant. We're never going to say it. Because at the store, it's like you're coming in and you're in the hallway and watching the back. And then go good set. way to do your thing. And then I'm like, bye, then even on the set somewhere, and then waving, that's it.

Yeah. That's what half the store is, just waving. You grew up in Canada. Yeah. Where in Canada? In Toronto. And that was your influence, all of that comedy.

So who was playing all the, were your parents into it? Into the comedy? No, my grandma played a lot of it. Your grandma. And I watched a lot of Mr. Bean. That was probably the main thing I watched. It was just so crazy.

But like every Christmas, I'd get like a new VHS. Right. And I just watched it all. I just over and over and over. And were you funny as a kid? Like when you would go to school now? No.

And like eighth grade, I became, I kind of came out of my shell. But before that, I wasn't, I don't think it's very funny. Right. I don't know. That's fine. But I used to Highland Dance. I used to perform my whole life. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Competitively Highland Dance. Oh, you did? Three to 18, yes. From three to 18? My mother is the teacher. She still teaches. Whoa.

Right, right. You told me this on the show. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So I, that, that I was always performing. That world's intense. It is intense.

Yeah. And I'm like, I was trying, there were, because speaking of those, you know, parents pushing their kids, there was a lot, a lot of parents, like, pushing their kids. Like, it was in the middle of the sun wearing these, like, huge kilts and dancing. Yeah. Do it again. I would watch other teachers yell. I'm like, thank God I wasn't very good because my mom didn't force me like that. But I would watch kids, they'd come with weird bruises all over their bodies.

Jeez. Oh, yeah. Very skinny. And I'm like, you got to. That's why you have killer games. That's exactly why. Yeah. It's dancing my whole life.

Yeah. I literally jumped up and down. on my entire life. That's it. You jump on one foot. Yeah, you jump on one foot. That's it. That's the best exercise.

Right. Highland dance. You want to get some good games? Yeah. Get into competitively highland dancing. But it wasn't until eighth grade where you started realizing you're funny. Yeah.

Or did you realize you were funny, but you were just quiet about it? I don't know. I don't think I was just dancing was my whole life. I don't even think I were called anything else. And then I think I finally, in eighth grade, I was getting close to like quitting dancing

and I kind of started getting a little more. Some friends I had were like more open. and more goofy. And then I kind of got nutty. Did your grandmother see it, you think? Did she, or she just liked that you liked it? She liked it, but I feel bad because right before she died, this is so sad, but I think of all the time.

She's like, you're not one of those dirty comics, are you? And I was like, well, grandma, she goes, no. You don't need to be like that. And then she kept always used this one example of some old British shows she used to watch where she's like, where this little midget came out of that. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. I'm like, yeah, something.

What was the one where the guy came out of the stage? And then he would, like, go hide and go back under her. And she's always like, and the midget was so fine. I'm like, well, stop saying the midget was so funny. I'm like, I can't be dirty, but you got all this midget material roaming around. But I feel bad. Yeah. I'm like, God, I really, I am, baby, grandma.

I really, I really am. I really am. I had a moment early when my grandmother came to see me at a club. and it was the beginning. So I didn't really, you know, I was dirtier. I didn't know. I didn't have an idea of what I was doing. And it wasn't, I wasn't really that dirty.

But I remembered telling a joke that was provocative, looking over and seeing my Nana go. Oh, my. She just shook her head. No, no, no. And I was like, I don't think I can do it anymore. Aw. That's nice that she came, though. It was nice.

Last night at the store, a guy told me, no, it was really bizarre in the OR. I was doing like a bunch of crowd work and this one guy just, he headed his arms cross and he really didn't like me. And like, you know, you can see those people. Yeah. You try ignoring them, but he's like right in the light. And I was like, I go this guy.

And he goes, no. And I went, oh. And I go, I'm like, sorry, were you here to see Bobby Lee's? That way you hate me? He's got him before me. And he goes, don't. Whoa. And then he like looked away.

And like, everybody around him kind of went, oh. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to force this. I'm not trying to get a, clip here. I'm not going to make this guy more uncomfortable because he was like, he was, it was upsetting. Wow. And I made me feel weird. And I was like, okay, thank God the blue lights on over here. Because I'm going to wrap it up. I'm getting that hell out. That's weird.

Someone's saying no to you. I had a guy in, uh, rally in North Carolina like two weeks ago. Same thing. Really? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't like, I'm like, I always do this new thing. I'm like, well, who's your favorite comic made by new impression? And he goes, no. And I was like, okay, well, we're going to move on from this. Okay. People are weird. Google me. And don't sit in the front row. Yeah. Don't go out of your house.

You're going to a comedy show. What are you doing? It's strange. Yeah. Or go see. If you like someone and just that one person, go see them, just them. Yeah. You can come to a club where it's like back to back to back.

Like it's wild. To be that like upset with what's going on? So weird. People are strange. Summer is here. More sun, more light, more time to do all the things that make summer so special. And the number one thing you don't want to be doing. all summer, spending hours cooking inside. That's where Factor comes in. Factor chef-crafted,

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I need them to be bandaged. Do you get it? Do you have a lot of like Yeah, I got Is there always something going on? Yeah, my podcast, which if you ever want to do it, it's called Steph infection Because I always have a different lump or bump

Or I'm supposed to be on Dr. Pimble Popper. I have a lumped up. Really? Yes, I'm always lumped up. I'm lumping, I'm bleeding, I'm internally, I'm like sick or something. It's gross. I don't want to be like this.

I always, I have a, one of my daughters is like that. Is she? Yeah, and I always say, I always make it like it's a talk show. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, we'll be right back with more of body on, with more of Charlotte's body. Yes, because some people just have weird shit. Yeah, there's always like an ear thing or a thing happening.

Yeah, some people just have stuff. It's very annoying. So doctor for the convenience. Doctor for the convenience, yes. Cops, I don't know. Guns scare me. Yeah. Canadian.

Yeah. I know we have them up there, but I don't see them around. No one I know is a gun. Yeah. Yeah, there's no guns. I don't want them around. Have you ever been in a fist fight? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. Last one? Last one was years ago in Toronto. I punched her on the face. You did? I thought she stole my cell phone. And then it turns out it was in my back pocket.

Wait. But I did punch her in the face. Yeah, yeah. She's getting kicked out of this bar. We started a whole brawl and then the way out, the bouncer had her, and I gave her a little sucker punch. And did the whole brawl start from the cell phone? No, it started because she pushed my boyfriend at the time.

And then I pushed her back. And then three girls jumped on top of me. And then one of her, their guy friends came over and, like, punched me in the face. I was like, well, that kind of hurt. And then my sister got involved, kicked some people, and it turned to, like, it was like a crazy bar brawl. Jeez. Yeah, that's pretty fun.

I know, it was fun. Because nobody got really hurt. Yeah. I would just scratch. Like, the girls were just, like, more scratching me. So they ripped my shirt. It was all, like, in treads. And I said, like, bloody scratches off my face.

No. Yeah. But I got the last laugh in there. That's awesome. It was like, oh, there it is. That you took it. Sorry. Was that your best fight?

My best fight? Maybe not. No, me, my friend got in this fight at this bar called Whiskey Ogogo in Toronto. It was outside Toronto. We walked in and immediately just started with these two girls. And then, I don't know, my friend punched her and I kicked her. I don't even know what happened. We literally drove.

It was like in Barry. It was like we drove an hour or something to get there from Toronto. It was not barely. People in Toronto, I'm like, that's not worse. It was like an hour outside. It was like St. Whatever the fuck it was. We drove.

We're all pumped up. We never run in this bar. We got in. We get in. We're like, okay, let's just have one beer because we drove here. We literally ordered a beer. Two seconds later, I look over my friend Alexis. This is fighting.

Sorry, Alexis. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. She knows. I always talk about her. We get in, I look over, I don't happen. All of a sudden, she's pushing somebody,

punching, and all of a sudden, I'm kicking, and then we got immediately kicked out. It was comical. We were in there for not even one song. We walked in, got in a fight, and walked out.

We were like, what just happened? Like, I don't even know. We weren't even, like, violent. It didn't make any sense. You're just too pumped up. We were all worked up. We were so happy to be there.

my parents' car? Like, it was a whole ordeal. Now's it. You just drove home. We just drove home. That was it. Nothing happened. I was like, okay, well, I guess we're going home now.

Psychotic. That's so funny. Now, we do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. This program, wow. Yeah. Your, that's, this program is hilarious. I grew up in the 70s. Well, you just made it very clear.

On this program. On this program, we do a little thing called an uncomfortable moment. And, um... Can't wait for it. Uh, You know, we've known each other for a long time, and we, I feel like we kind of influence, everybody influences everybody, right? Yep.

And some people say it's stealing. You know, they're stealing out there, but sometimes you're just inspired by somebody. Yes. And I just want to show you something and just, I want you to be, I mean, I can't tell you how to feel. So I don't want, I hope that you're cool with it, but I can't say. I'm terrified away you're going to show me. But I can't say that, like, I want you.

to be cool of it. But this is something that I'm going to be rocking soon. Okay. I like it. You look good in it. Yeah? Yes. You know that you rocked that?

I've always wanted to. I think you should. A nice, like, rolled up like that, a little loose. Yeah. Jump suit. I think you should do it. When I first, when I first commented to you at the comedy story, and I complimented your jump suit,

and I was like, it was really out of envy because. I think you would look good at it. Especially green. Green's a good color for you. It's such a great thing. I'm not going to do it. Do it one time. Chappelle does it.

Is it empowering? Yes. When did you start it? I don't know. Maybe like two, three years ago now. That's an insane photo. Two, three years, I'd say. That's it?

Yeah, I started because I was wearing a dress one night and I did this big act out. And I had like, it was a bit low cut. And I like, my boobs, I guess, kind of shook around. And I remember a guy in the front row went, whoa. I looked right at them. and I went, and I got so self-conscious after that. And I was like, oh, I don't like that. Yeah.

Watching a man on stage look right at your boobs is like bizarre. Yeah. I was like, wait them off or something. I don't know, I don't know, but like just like, watching at him, look at them. And I was like, eh. I would think it'd be happening all the time. They're always looking. Men need to look better at boobs.

Yeah. It's so, you guys don't have peripheral vision. I don't know what's going on. Why your head has to turn down. It's a whole thing. Yeah. But just because I do somebody act out, so I was like, I need something that I'm more neutral. end.

Right. I'm not flopping around in. That's funny. I don't want people looking at that. You know what I mean? Yeah. I was looking at your

dick and balls when you're on stage. You know, as tight as my pants are, you would, they still don't. They still don't. These women that are

breaking you bread, I'm sure they are. They're trying to get a peek at it. Yeah. They want to need something else down there. They want to give you the little,

mm-hmm, mm-hmm, need your bread. I don't know. Tom's like, this is not that kind of podcast. It's not the kind of program. It's not that kind of program.

No, I think your look is so great. It's fun and it's like, you just look comfortable and cool in it. Also, a lot of female comics are a rock in the jumpsuits now. Oh, really? Well, Chelsea Handler has been for a while. Right. And there's a lot of other gals that are wearing them. But I think it is honestly just being on stage and being comfortable.

That's the main thing. And it looks great. And it's easy to pack. Yeah. I'm like, oh, what outfit do I need? One outfit. That's the outfit. That's it.

And I just go, slop it on, slop it off. It's so great. Yeah, it's good. Dave Hill does it. You know, Dave Hill from New York? No. He's a comedian and a rock star. He does?

Oh, yeah. We were the same brand, Wild Thing, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Damn it. He loves a jumpsuit. See, you got to get one. I was kidding, and now I'm kind of serious.

And now I'm thinking I want it. What's your favorite bad smell? Bad smell? Oh, B.O. Yeah. Sometimes if a guy has, like, a really, like, pungent, like, sour B.O. It's like a pheromones thing. Right, yeah, yeah.

But I have to be, it's, it's got. gotta be something I like. It can't just be like any guy on the street. Yeah, well, if you get in an elevator and it's someone you're not attracted to. No, no, no, no. It's got to be someone attracted to in that exact smell. Right. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Do you have any scars? Yeah, from the sunburns, from the sun. Really? From that episode? Oh, yeah. Do you ever find out why that happened? There's a bunch of things. There's like a sun allergy. There's like eczema caused by like sun exposure. I don't really know. But you never had it any other time in your life? I had it once when I was a kid. I was a kid. I was a

my leg and now every time in the sun I get it all of my body now so I just stay on the sun. Oh, really? I just had it again when I did a cruise a couple weeks ago and I got it so bad. What was the cruise? A fun cruise or a working cruise? Yeah, Heather McMahon's, uh, you know, she's so funny. Her, she did like a cruise and had a bunch of comics on it. Adam Ray was on it. Oh.

Wow. Was it good? It was fun. It was a lot of Heather's fans are like 30 to like 50 year olds. Right. Midwest women. Yeah, yeah. And I think I might be a little too much for that.

I think they were like, wait a second, you're not relatable at all. It was very fun, though. It was very fun. Why are you talking about your kids? Yeah. It was like 90% women on the cruise ship. Whoa. Which I'm realizing, I'm like, I think I have, because I lean like 55 women, 45 men.

So I still have like a high. Right. It's pretty close. Yeah, I was thinking that when I was watching your special, it's like, it seems like a good mix. Yeah, it's a good mix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a lot of couples like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Threatening. That's why. because you can watch with me. Yes, you can watch with me. I'm not like, you know, it's not like the guy's going to turn off,

but I'm going to look at all her other sexy photos. You're not going to find them. They don't exist. 17 photos are me in a jumpsuit. I don't want to tell you. So it's like, I'm good, which is good. You're hot. Look, my boyfriend thinks I'm hot.

Yeah, I mean, come on. I think you're, yeah, why do you think those guys are looking at your boobs? Yeah, well, do you have a superpower? Can you, like, yeah? Yes, I can reverse down any driveway. I am so good at. reversing down narrow driveways.

Really? It's a skill. I'm very proud of it. I'm not good at it. Oh, I am unbelievably good. In L.A., I run into, you know, in the little driveways, they'll have those little metal poles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm, I smash into that. Yeah, I smash into those a lot. Give it back. I got cameras, I got people. I got. You got it all. There's no really reason. Nothing.

No, I'm, I've mastered it because mine is so narrow my house now, but I can like, like, sometimes with someone parks there, I have to reverse for them. What was your first car? Oh, a Plymouth Acclaim, Maroon, Plymouth Acclaim. My granddad died. And then I got that. Is it a big one?

No, it was disgusting. It was skin flags everywhere. It was gross. But was it big? Like, Plymouth sounds big. No, it sounds big. It's not. It was like a smaller.

Right. Yeah. Back bench seat. Nice. Yeah. Nice. Old. Do you miss Canada?

I do. Yeah. It's terrifying out here. There's a lot of scary things. I'm trying to get my citizenship. Yeah. Because the green card is. Oh shit.

What's going on? A lot of TikToks out there are scaring Canadians and scaring people with green cards about going over the border. But you're not brown? Well, I'm a performer. Right. And they're pulling over anybody with a green card

and going to their social media. What? Oh, yeah. There's some people not being allowed back in. For real? Yeah. Because their social media was like anti-Trump or whatever? Really.

You know people weren't allowed in because of that? One guy. There's this one guy in, like, Switzerland has been going around. Everyone's, every comic's, like, up in arms over it. Because they're all fucking paranoid. Whoa. Yeah. And I know another comic, I'm pretty sure a couple other comics.

I don't want to say her name on here, but I'll say after her, but she got pulled in secondary two. And they asked her if she talks about Trump and she's like, I do. And then I don't know what happened after that. She's American. Whoa. But she got pulled over. She doesn't have a green card. She's like full American.

How cowardly do you have to be? It's crazy. How scared do you have to be? to fear what people say. To fear what people say or write. You have to be so, somebody with 200 people followers. Your consciousness has to be so terrified and small

that words and ideas are a threat to you. Big threat. Big threat. Think about what kind of a being that is. That is a very, it's like a, like a possum at the bottom of a sewer who's being poked with sticks. You know what I mean? Yeah, I can't say anything because I'm going to get taken away. No, but I'm like, I'm actually, I'm terrified.

Yeah. Like, luckily I'm not political, but even if I was, like, I'd have to scrub my shit. God. Yeah. And so funny, not funny, but so hypocritical, that these same people were just attacking the other side for canceling people of what they were saying. Exactly. God. It really is wild.

It's wild. It's, you can't, you literally can't, I thought that was like the First Amendment freedom of speech. Yeah. And you say it. That's the other part. You say that we're the free speech guys. We're the woke guys. Are you?

God. So much more weaponized. Scrubbing. Like going through, like sitting for hours, going through your Twitter, going to you. Jeez. Oh, so gross. It's so scary. It's so scary.

It's scary. It's scary. They're scared. It's all scary. It's gross. It's gross. So, yes, I do, but Canada. I love Canada.

Yeah, Canada's great. I'm doing a little thing in October where I'm going to, like, Newfoundland and St. John's. Oh, nice. I'm doing, like, four cities up in that area. Oh, that'd be fun. In October, I'm really excited. I know.

The fall colors. Yeah. You've got to go to Mooseheads out there. Mooseheads? Moosehead is one of my favorite loggers. It's a Canadian logger. It's, like, one of the oldest Canadian made that's still being made in Canada.

I think it's in St. John's. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You can go to the whole line. Ooh, that'd be nice. Yeah. What's your favorite drink? Margarita.

Ooh. Like a not, not the mix you get at like a restaurant. Like a whole made. Like the Cadillac? Yeah, I want like a nice. I want a tahine rim. I want like fresh lime juice.

I want, you know, the whole thing. No sugar in there. Yeah. Tart. Nothing out of a big plastic. No, I hate those. Yeah. Yeah.

It's fresh. Yeah. That's good. By me. Canada. The other Mexico. Are you ticklish? I am, yes.

You are? Too much, I pee. You do? Oh, full piss, yeah, I can't. Really? I can't be tickled. And you haven't had children? No, I got to lose your ether.

I don't know what's going with me down there. You better not have children. Because I'll pee all the time. You'll pee all the time. Oh, God. I don't love that. No, it's not great. And with your track record.

Yeah, I'm already pissed all the time. We're diapers now. 40 years old, full diaper. God. On the other side, though, you having kids would be hilarious, I know, but I'm like, I don't know. It's a lot. It's a lot. You have two? You three? I have two. And just because you're so honest in your stand-up, the gifts we would get out of you going through this horrible experience.

It would ruin your life, but we would be happy as people watching your stand-up. Yes, it would. I'm like, if I, yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's going to happen. but I think we're past. You're good. I didn't freeze the eggs and now I'm like, you know, I don't know what's going on. Right, yeah, yeah. I missed the whole freezing thing. I had no money at the time when everyone was freezing your eggs.

I'm like, I don't have $10,000 roaming around five years ago. What are you talking about freeze my eggs? Well, yeah. Well, here's the thing. If you do it, you do it. And if you don't, you don't. After the 20-year period, nobody has them anymore. We all get spit out at the end with no kids.

I'm back to what I was before having kids, and now I just have people in other cities that I worry about. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game. When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical.

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Do you have siblings? One sister, yeah. Just one sister. Are you the favorite? No, God, no, she is. Oh, my God, yeah, she always has been. Really? Oh, yeah.

Older or younger? She's younger. Oh, she's younger. And now she has the baby. And now everyone's, like, obsessed with the baby. She's very cute. Right. But now my parents are just like, that's it.

And I'm like, thank God. Yeah. Get them distracted. Then they won't look at your act as much. They're having a viewing party for the special. Oh, nice. I don't know if you should do that. They were there.

They came. Oh, that's great. They came. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. And I used my dad for a promo video. I'm posting this weekend where I asked for someone's dick pick.

And then my dad raised his hand. And it was like, the crowd went nuts. It was so insane. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't see it. Thank God. I have a sauna, by the way.

You do? Yeah. And your joke about... It was relatable that was hitting? Oh, yeah. Like, there's no way. It's a nightmare. Yeah, a nightmare.

Complete nightmare. I wish I get Alice Cooper to watch that joke and react to it. Yeah. Hasn't happened yet. Maybe it will. When's the last time you stole something? I haven't, I don't, I didn't really stole stuff. Even as a kid?

No, I wasn't making a stealing. Never, not, not once. No, I would steal, like little charms and, like, you know, like shoe charms or like some makeup every now and then, but I don't make steal. I guess, but I'm like, I haven't really stole. Right. That's a big stealer. Yeah.

Well, I'm not saying you are. Do it look like someone who steals? No, but I think everybody has stolen something at one point, and then you're like, this isn't for me. Yeah. I stole bubble yum. Oh, wow. Bubble gum and got caught by the manager. And, uh...

Slathed in the head. Yeah. Didn't stop me, but it slowed me down. Slowed you down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that rush of, like, being on edge and, you know. Yeah. It's too much.

Yeah, it's a lot. I don't love it. I'm going to trouble. I'm going to trouble at home. It was too much going on. Right. Trouble all time. Oh, yeah. I was going to ask, what do you do at the beach?

But I don't think you can go to the beach anymore. I can't, but I do love to swim. I love to dip my horn in the sea. You do? Oh, I love swimming in the ocean. You do? Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too.

I don't come out for a long time. Yeah, it's the best. It's so nice. Do you have to put white stuff on your nose? Oh, I'm slathering sunscreen, hot, shade. It can't be the sun. Right. No sun for me.

Yeah. So what are you going to do now that you shot your special? and you have all these great jokes that you can't do now. I'm trying to do, you know, working on the new hour, which is hard to do. Yeah. God, it's a lot to do. It's a lot. I got a big tour coming up, and then I'm going on my first vacation in like 20 years.

You are. You are. Careful, though. They hate tourists now. You see them squirting on people with a... Yeah, how are they going to know? I'm not going to wear a fanny pack on the outside and a big passport. This is tourist.

I'm going to look cool. Right. Yeah, you would. I'm going to wear a sundress. I'm going to be dipping around. I'm having a fun hat. We're not, we're not. Have you been there before?

No. Me neither. I feel like that's also, that's another thing where TikTok's blowing up. Yeah. Like, I feel like that's not, you mean like where I'm going to be eating tapis. They're going to be throwing water meat. I don't think they are.

Right. There's a lot of water they're wasting. Spraying people all day long. Yeah. Yeah. And in Venice. They say it's in Venice too. You know what?

I'm going to Barcelona. Come at me. Okay. I'm probably sweating. I actually love a little spray down. Are you a sweater? Oh, I'm soaked. You're a sweater.

Oh, I'm so sorry. You're going to slip off this damn leather couch. I'm so sorry. So you guys have to wash it down, I'll leave. Get the spray guns and spray this down. What do you want to know about me when we pass each other in the comedy store? Well, now I'm going to be sending you jumpsuits. Oh, man.

I may be sending your size. I need your size. Problem is, though, if you brought shoulder and got a little belly, a jumpsuit is going to look. No, not the men's ones, because the way they're fitted. You're loose. Because you can get like the bigger ones that kind of go in, like the waist here and then out. That's why I wear them too because you can get,

because I wear like the female cut ones, but you can get like vintage ones. That's where you go, the thrifted story. I just love the idea of not thinking about what you have to wear. You always look nice. You always look like classy and nice and clean. You love your family. It's nice.

But I don't want to think about it. I'd rather just. But everyone looks at you knows it. And it's nice. Is it? Yes. I had to bring up a comic through the day that I keep hearing

many bad things about the hard to give an intro. Oh really? It's like I want to be like, hey, Tom, ah, it's like fun. I'll say his name off of me. Just like a creep?

Yeah, he's a creep. He's a creep. I don't know how it hasn't been outed yet, but he's been creep. And so it's, it's, you know, and you kill. I watched you the day, you had to set, like,

I don't know, a couple weeks ago and I, like, unilating. At the comedy store? Yes, it was in the OR. Right. I think it was like a week and a half ago.

You were like destroying. Oh, that's nice. after going on because you were like killing so hard. Oh, really? Yeah. I think you're doing new stuff too because you did a little piece of paper. Yeah. Yeah, trying to figure it out.

It sounded like you figured it out. Yeah, I don't think you needed to figure out that joke anymore. That joke was figured out. That's good. I wish I knew what it was. Just trying to. It was very recent. That's good.

Yeah. Now I'm bad. It was very recent. Don't know what it all over. Yeah. No, of course not. I just knew you were killing it. I was like, then I got in my head.

Then I was like, look at my nose. I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't even think about what it was because all I'm thinking about is who is the comedian that's creepy. Oh, you know. I do. You don't know who he is. Yeah. I'm going to say the name of the second we hit stop.

Are there more creeps than not creeps going through your little journey? There's quite a few creeps. You got the improv guy with a hand on the back. Oh, there's so many more. There's just a barrage nonstop barrage. Not nonstop, I will say. I think the higher up you get, the less there are. Like more of the open mic or guides and the people skiing around.

But there is, there's definitely people that are hiding some demons. Right. People that are DMing people and acting like they're not. It's like, there's receipts here. Yeah, right. Yeah. People like showing me pictures of their dick after like midnight in a hotel room. I'm like, I don't need this.

It's like years ago. Right. I was like, I'm going to bed now. My wife would always tell me about how, how, like, not shocking, but disappointing. Excuse me, it would be when you, she would hang out with, because she was a comic and you'd hang out with people for a long time. And you're like, okay, this is, this is our,

and then Adam, eventually they disappoint you with a pick or whatever saying. And just like, ah, like, disappointed, like you too. to, those are the ones that really upset me. Yeah. I'm like, you really? Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

Like, if you did that, I'd be very surprised. Yeah. Very upset. Don't you dare. I like, I like your gams. Don't you dare. Oh, God damn it. We need the few nice.

Because whenever I meet somebody who, like, loves his wife and loves his family, I'm like, this is a nice guy. Yeah. I like that. Well, then you just make bread like a maniac because. Well, that's good. The energy's got to go somewhere. Yeah.

Keep your eyes off the tits on Instagram. Focus on the eating of the bread. So you're going to go to Barcelona. Barcelona. And then I'm touring pretty much from September till January. Wow. Every weekend pretty much. Oh, that's good.

It's going to be good, though. This special coming out and then go out on tour. Yes. And I'm going to, like, fun places that I like. That's good. Yeah. Do you tour with friends or do you just go and... Yes, my best friend, Alex Pavone,

who's been opening for me for the last two, three years. Very funny. Zero online presence, so you don't know who he is. It's so fucking annoying because he's one of the first. He murders in front of me. Sometimes at the point where I'm backstage, I'm pissed. I'm like, God. I need you over.

How much longer? He's like, in islanding. applause breaks. And I'm like, hello? I'm not even getting applause breaks. I'm going to get off. I get off. I get so mad.

But my boyfriend's been opening for me now. Oh, really? So he does cruise ship stuff. He plays piano and he does a lot of crowd stuff. And so he's been, it's funny because he didn't really do stand up, but he kind of started doing it. And I'm like, you know, I take my show seriously. I don't want, I don't want, sometimes comics, I'm sure you don't do this,

but you'll bring somebody who wasn't, very good. So you have to try to start going up. I want my opener to move. I want people to leave going, who's that guy? I want the whole show to be good. Exactly.

So whenever Jefferson, if he, like, when he first started, some of his jokes were hack, and I'd be offstage like this, been like, that joke sucked, never did that one again. Like, I'm like, I'm not screwed around here.

You want to open for me. Yeah, yeah. You need to up your game and you need to up it now. Oh, nice. Yeah, you need to be good and you can't be, because I'm giving you this is a huge opportunity. You're like, doing 20 minutes in front of like a pumped up crowd

that's excited. My fans are like good people. Yeah. They're like nice and like, they're happy to be there. They're so lucky that you're honest with them. I mean, how many times do comics go for years with nobody saying, dude, don't do that. Immediately. I mean, then, you know, you need to be told sometimes.

And he doesn't love it. He literally walks the second and gets up stage and he goes, that joke sucks. And he's like, whoa, okay. I'm like, sorry. Sorry, pal. You got to smarten up here. Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, it's good to tours with people that you really like.

And yeah, and I started doing with guys because, I'd have a couple weirdos, especially when I was single. Some people would wait around. Oh, really? Because I talk about sex, they thought it was their turn. To have sex with me. Yeah. Oh, it was in, where was it?

Colorado Springs. I had this guy and it was fucking scary. The host had to like walk in my hotel room. Whoa. Because he's like, I came to see your show. Now what? And I'm like, now you go home? He goes, no, uh-uh.

I get something in return. I was like, get the fuck out of here. Whoa. Yeah. It was scary. Weird. I had a guy waiting the bushes for me outside the punchline in San Francisco. What?

He was so creepy. He waited for me to the next show to get a photo with me. And he was something wasn't right. And I was like, and I had a girl opening for me then. I'm like, we're down with this. We can't, we need, I need the guys. Because they don't linger around when the guys are there. Right, of course.

Believe. Jeez. Yes. You know, guys are creeps. Yes. It's so weird. It's terrifying. It is so weird.

Whenever guys are guys like, when a woman comes out the mirror, the show is scary. No, it's not. You never had a woman. woman come to you after show and been like scared for your life and this one's going to follow you back to your hotel and what right what is she going to do at the most it's a pest yeah it's a pest and she's probably drunk and annoying and you go go home i'm calling security get the hell out of here yeah yeah like threatened for your life yeah like that whole night in clara springs i didn't sleep a wink

i put chairs around my door i was like look at the people every two seconds i was scared yeah like what the hell is this waiting from me outside the hallway or someone else following me back it's bizarre it's really creepy i don't love it yeah but now since i have that's why i talk so about my boyfriend and when he's there he's like, no one's ever, he like threatened a guy

some guy was in the, it was in Rochester and some guy this big meat green line and it's really nice and this guy wasn't even there to see the show

he just randomly at the club and he's like why the fuck's everybody in line to see that beak and Jefferson told me that I like begged him to tell me that after and then apparently he just went

you five seconds to get out of here or your family's going to find you in a ditch tomorrow and you're not going to be breathing and the guy was like whoa I don't know me he's like get out of here

I just see this happen I'm like, what is happening with them. I'm like, that's what you get, man. Yeah. Well, people like the beak. That's what they lined up. Sorry that you don't know what the beak is. People are buying the beak's merch right now, so get the hell out of here.

Yeah. Oh, what a creep. That's nice. I know. I like the... Man. Yeah. It's if comedy isn't hard enough.

Well, get out of here. Just dealing with the jokes and trying to kill. That's it. And trying to just, like, put together this act. And the act and the social media and the touring and the Facebook ads. It's so much. It's enough. It's enough.

You don't also have to be like a mar Martial arts expert. Yes. Go away if you don't like me. Don't come to my show. That's it. It's hard. But you know,

I hate to say it, but you're getting big reactions out of people because you're, you're effective. Well, people get mad. Yeah, but also joyous.

Also like, you know, but also, you know, it's like, it's that kind of thing of like when people don't complain it means they're not watching.

Yes, exactly. You know. So I'll take it. Yeah. I'll take the buzz. Yeah. So more people boo.

when you see stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get angry, come on. Yeah, you can take it. Congratulations on the special, seriously. It's a big deal. And people are going to really like it. It's going to be good for you.

I hope so. Yeah, and make sure you come back on your next one. I will, and I'm going to eat that whole loaf of bread tonight. And listen, I'm not sure where this journey is going to take me, but if I walk through the halls at the store and I am in a jumpsuit, just kind of like be cool about it. I'm going to be so cool about it. Don't be like, oh my God, you did it.

No, no, I'll go like this. Right. I'll give the eye to art. Just the two eyes up. That's it. Yeah. Well, this is really great. Thank you.

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