Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 288 - Tig Notaro
Episode Date: October 14, 2025Today Tig Notaro joins us at the table! Does she care about her appearance? Does she know how baseball works? Will her wife leave her for Tom? Everything gets answered today. Eat smart at FactorM...eals.com/papa50off and use code papa50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Text PAPA to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. ----------------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I was talking to somebody who's very active on social media,
and they have somebody that literally follows them around and is constantly...
Just filming their life and editing it.
And there's no bad clip.
There's never...
My problem with social media was always this,
where I'd be like, no one wants to see that.
You know what I mean?
And I think if you're really successful at it, you never think that.
you think everyone's going to want to see this.
Well, I've had moments where I go to post something and I'm like, who is this for?
What am I doing?
You know, and like when I think of my parents being that focused on social media, it kind of gives me this weird insight.
Like if I, I don't, and I really don't mean to sound judgmental.
I just, for myself, I can't, I can't, and I don't know if it's my age or I don't know what it is,
but I can't quite get into that loop,
and nor would I want somebody following me around filming me.
It's breaking bread.
Hey kids, I'm out on tour and going pretty heavy this fall, winter,
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You look great.
Do I?
You do.
You always look great.
You've got a very welcoming face.
And even if you don't mean it, it welcomes me.
Yeah.
I actually, the last thing that you said to me digitally was you sent me a picture of us at Largo.
And I said, oh, my God, what's wrong with my head?
and you said something like, you're just as God made you.
You're perfect, just like God made you.
And it was funny, but I carried it around and tried to believe in it for the rest of the week.
Only a week?
Yeah.
And then I saw myself again in another setting.
What was the next setting where you were captured?
Probably on this podcast because that camera over there.
Oh, yeah.
tends to shoot right over there, tends to shoot this part of me.
Love's capturing this part.
Yeah.
All of that God made.
Yeah.
Yes.
I'm here to spread the word of the Lord.
What was he thinking?
Do you care about how you look?
I mean.
I mean, if this isn't a perfect example of why you are one of the best interviewers, work in the podcast circuit, do I care how I look? That's a really good question. I do, but I forget to check in. And let me tell you something. This is how much I care. I waited to shower until right before I came here so that I would, you know, I guess look good.
I mean, but let's be honest about me looking good. It looks the same every time. But I never look at a mirror.
You don't. Like after I get ready and brush my teeth and wash my face and do my whole face routine, which is just some soap, I don't ever look again.
You don't. So that says a lot. That says that you are very comfortable with.
you. I guess. Yeah. I mean, I'm not... It says a lot. I don't know. Do you look at yourself all the time?
All the time. Or just when people send capture you? There's a slight reflection in that picture of Frank Sinatra over your
shoulder. And I can kind of see myself in it. No, I do not as, I did a TV show once.
That's wonderful. Tom. Thank you. Well, it was a pilot. But, uh, uh, and I was getting ready to shoot the pilot. And, um,
Allison Hanigan was my love interest, and we were taking all the pictures that you have to take, like, in case the show goes, you know, you take all these promo photos and stuff.
I've been on TV, too.
And, yeah, much more than I have.
And I said, do I look fat?
And she said, oh, please.
I hope you're joking.
I said, well, not really.
And she said, oh, I gave up on that a long time, thinking that way a long time ago.
And it really kind of struck me like, oh, you can just get to a point of like, I'm good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess.
I don't know that, like, when I see myself, I'm not always like, oh, I'm good.
Yeah.
I'm a little more like, oh, my God, how have I not looked in a mirror?
Or like, when I'm walking and I see my reflection, I'm like, oh, I'm 54, you know, I'm female.
Like, you would think there would be a little more.
Yeah.
I do care, but I forget.
To care.
Yeah, it's kind of like with social media, I'll be like, you know what?
I'm going to start putting out stuff.
I'm going to make clips.
I'm going to like do that.
And then I just, and then I find myself a month later going, I didn't do that, you know?
Yeah.
And it's like looking in the mirror.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was talking to somebody who's very active on social media.
and they have somebody that literally follows them around and is constantly,
there's...
Just filming their life and editing it.
Wow.
And there's no bad clip.
There's never, my problem with social media was always this, where I'd be like,
no one wants to see that.
You know what I mean?
And I think if you're really successful at it, you never think that.
You think everyone's going to want to see this.
Well, I've had moments where I go to post something.
I'm like, who is this for?
What am I doing?
You know?
And like when I think of my parents being that focused on social media, it kind of gives me
this weird insight.
Like if I, I don't know.
And I really don't mean to sound judgmental.
I just, for myself, I can't, I can't, and I don't know if it's my age or I don't know
what it is, but I can't quite get into that loop and nor would I want somebody following me
around filming me.
It's a different thing.
You're very creative.
You're very prolific.
You are putting out into the world already.
This is a different putting out.
This is a putting out of what?
Like, until you can get your head around what you're using that for.
Yeah.
Like, I'll post bread videos or just let somebody else put stand up on it for me.
Yeah.
But me holding it up and being like, hey, gang.
Who's this gang?
You know? I also start to, if I talk to like my followers like this entity, like I start to feel like a cult leader, you know what I mean?
Where I'm like, hey, everybody, here's the plan. I need you to go to my show in Mississippi or whatever it is, you know?
Yeah. And I don't know. I have so many conflicts in my head of like, what am I doing? Who am I talking to?
Yeah.
I remember Dane Cook, who was like the godfather of social media, right?
Like he was so good at it, so before everybody else.
And he used to always say things like, we did it, guys.
We're number one on the Sanpasa.
We did it.
What is the Samba Sama Sons?
We sold all that we sold out at the Chang Chang Chang.
And I was like, what's the we in that?
It was so brilliant to make them feel like we're all in this together.
We did it.
Yeah, we did it.
And you know what?
We did this, Tom, today.
Yeah, we did.
It's pretty good.
I feel like we should post about it.
I'm happy to.
I just don't think people want to see it.
We should start an Instagram account of just the two of you.
The two of us.
The two of you?
My God.
You too.
You too.
I knew I was fat.
Yeah, the two of us, like anytime we're together, we post.
And we post.
And we post.
All right.
And then it'll drive us to want to be together more often.
Right, because we get success off of it.
Yeah, we get attention.
We get all those likes that we love.
Yeah.
And, you know.
Yeah.
All right.
We could do it.
I'm not opposed to spending.
to that pushing us into spending more time together.
As I told you, I absolutely adore you.
I think you are one of the funniest people doing comedy alive.
And then it's true.
And I hate that this is potentially a backhanded compliment,
but you'll have to take it anyway.
I would talk about you to my wife.
And I would laugh and tell her bits of yours,
and she would say, oh my God, yeah, that's funny.
And then she saw us do a show together recently.
And she was like, Tom Papa.
And I was like, yeah, Tom Papa.
Do you remember any of our conversations?
And she's like, no, I've always thought he was funny.
She was like, but I guess I didn't like, you know, you have those moments or somebody where it's like.
Yeah.
And today I was like, guess who?
I'm going to see today.
I was very happy to hear that, actually.
I'm so happy to say it because I love,
not just being right in a relationship,
but I love, you know, when you can share that with your spouse,
or you know what I mean,
that I don't have to cackle alone being like,
but again, it wasn't that she didn't think you were funny.
She was just like not as familiar,
and she was like, oh, yeah, yeah.
And it was me retelling your stuff.
Right, right.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I like that she has a crush on me, I guess.
I like that she does too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long have you been together?
We have been together 12 years.
Well, that's a real number.
Yeah.
How long have you been with your wife?
25.
That is a realer number.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But as you'll see, the kids kind of take
the second half of it and make it go so fast that it's, you know, it's out of your control. So are you
almost through your contract with her? We're pretty much, we have a no divorce clause. Oh,
okay. Yeah. So we got to ride it out. We do too. Yeah. Yeah. We have two things. We have the,
the no divorce clause and we have a no FU clause. That's good. You can never say F you to the other person.
Yeah, we haven't done that.
We haven't even talked about it.
You didn't have to make it.
No, we didn't have to make it.
I did date somebody that used to say that kind of stuff to me, which I would never say to somebody.
Yeah.
And then I built up all of my everything in me and said, F you, and she laughed.
And I was like, what?
I was like, I was, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I could see that.
I could see it not having his.
The delivery wasn't real.
No, she could feel it.
And when she burst out laughing, I did not expect that.
I thought I was going to hurt her feelings as much as she had hurt mine.
Yeah.
I wonder if she, I wonder besides you not being able to say it, if somebody uses it all the time,
is it lessen the impact when it comes back at them?
because it is a powerful, just on its own,
it's such a powerful phrase.
Like, you can really, it's, it's, it's, in the right hands.
It's pretty close to like a punch in the face.
It has to be in the right hands because I did it one other time.
Not in a relationship.
I did, did this, and this is, I mean, you know, my friend passed away,
Andrea Gibson, the poet.
And I was in Colorado, and I was leaving,
anyway, I was walking down this trail,
and I had headphones in because somebody had given me a song
who was connecting with me about loss.
And I was like in the middle of grief.
Right.
And my friend, I was,
talking to, she had lost her brother when they were really small children. And she said, you know,
her father deals with this loss through writing music. And she said, in fact, he sent me one today,
and I'll give it to you for your hike home to listen to. So I'm on this trail. I'm listening,
and it just strikes me how this man, who is now in his 70s, is still mourning so deeply the loss of his
five-year-old from decades ago. And just how, you know, he's not a professional singer. He's just
like a guy that misses his son. Yeah. And I'm listening to it and it triggers me and I'm like,
I'm openly weeping on the trail back. And I don't normally wear headphones when I'm hiking.
But I was in this moment. And these three elderly guys come up on their bikes and they're
yelling at me. And I was like, oh my God. And I turned around so startled. And they were,
actually they, just one of the three starts yelling at me about being on this hike and having
headphones on and get out of the way. And I just, I had so much in me of like my grief for my
friends loss and my grief for Andrea. And I yelled full of tears and F you. F you.
That was the only other F you have ever done in my life.
The first one was in the relationship over 30 years ago, and she laughed at me.
And that guy just shook his head and kept riding.
And I was just like, in my head, I'm like, if you stop at the river to look how beautiful the river is, I'm going to go up, and I'm just going to say, my friend just died.
And my other friend's brother died when he was five.
I was so emotional and it was like bad timing.
Did it have impact on him, you think?
No, he just shook his head.
But I talked to my therapist about it.
That's how much I'm not an F you person.
And she said, well, how did it feel?
And I said, it felt empty and terrible actually.
Right, right.
Because what I would have preferred was a direct, hey, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I just, I'm not into the.
Right, exactly.
I'm just not into it.
No, you would have been like...
Listen.
Yeah.
You don't know what I'm going to.
This might have been a mistake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Please.
I'm the same way.
I, my one effective FU was...
We were in New York and it was my daughter's birthday party.
Yeah.
And we were at...
This sounds like a good FU.
Yeah, and we were at it.
I can go anywhere.
And it was Max Brenner's at the chocolate place.
It's like they do all every dish is with chocolate
So kids love it
Here in L.A.?
In New York.
Oh, right, you said that.
And it's a, yeah, it's like a well-done place
And it's all chocolate, so can you go wrong?
So anyway, I'm inside and I'm paying and wrapping up
And the kids were little
And my wife is taking them, they're going to go downtown
To do the next leg of this party or whatever
Which I wasn't involved in.
And she goes walking out on the sidewalk with these little ducklings.
Yeah.
They're all like probably six years old, seven years old.
Little quack quacks is what I call them.
A little quack quacks.
And she's walking the little quack quacks and they're going to get on the bus.
And this guy is walking up one of those like village, like older village kind of queenie kind of guys.
Yeah.
And he's just, you know, they, everything, I don't know why they still live in the city.
Yeah.
Everything that gets in their way is a big thing.
Yeah.
Get the thing out of here.
Get the bike out of.
Get the quack, quacks.
Yeah.
I'm paying, and I see this guy in my wife's face,
and he's screaming at my wife, like, close.
And I leave the credit card, and I go running outside,
and I catch up to him, like, yelling at her with the thing.
It's my wife and the kids and the whole thing.
And I just went up to him, and I said,
get the F out of her face.
F you!
keep walking get the F out of here and it had it was like I punched him in the face yeah yeah that word
yeah was so powerful yeah that he was reeling yeah and he got the F out of there he got the F out of
there yeah and my kids always laugh about the story because that's the part that to me was like so
impactful yeah and they love that uh that as he walked away I said he was wearing like pink shorts
And I had to do like the comedian thing of like, nice shorts.
They're like, why did you do that?
You were such a hero.
You went too far.
You went too far.
It's like they were down for the count and you just kept.
Wow, Tom.
They're like, get back inside and get your credit card.
Yeah, but it's over.
Your wife and your little quack quacks were apart.
It's like.
It was.
Yeah.
And it really made me kind of.
You know, I don't really say it a lot.
I don't have it in my act, of course.
And that really just confirmed, like, the impact of that word, why that word for centuries has been around.
Yeah.
There's something about that sound and that thing that really just has power.
Do you think I'll ever have an impactful F you?
Because I've only done two.
I think you will.
When, Tom.
But I don't think it's delivered the way you tried it.
with the first person in your relationship or the way,
or crying on a hiking trail.
Yeah, I don't see, or delivering it the way I did it with that guy.
I could see you landing a devastating one,
very quiet Clint Eastwood kind of, you know what,
if you.
So you can't even say it right now.
You want to save it.
You want to save it for the big moment.
But I could see you doing like one that's filled with intent,
but in control.
I think you could do it.
I'm open.
I tried them.
And you know, when I did it on the hiking trail,
I have to sit, you know,
when your brain just darts around
and makes decisions so quickly,
in that moment,
I,
it's so hilarious when I think of how many people
just shoot that off to anyone.
Yeah.
And in that moment, I was like,
I promise you with all of my heart.
I was like, this feels like a moment.
Somebody would say this kind of thing.
And this, you know, like I was like, analyze.
I was like, I'm going to do it.
Right.
And then I did it.
And it was so unsuccessful.
But I have other strengths.
Yeah.
Yes, you do.
Yeah.
The documentary that you made.
Come see me in the good light.
Come see me in the good light.
And I'm sorry, Andrea's last name.
Gibson.
Gibson.
Andrew Gibson.
What a beautiful film.
Thank you.
Beautiful film, beautiful person.
Yeah.
I did not know of her work until the documentary,
which was such a profound thing to be introduced to somebody
and then fall in love with them and then grieve for them
all like within a single hour and a half or whatever the film is.
Yeah.
Completely really, really well done.
How did you, how did you guys be?
become pals. Was it just through her work? It was at a show and thank you for saying those things.
It means so much. It's kind of like my mother, my mother, oh no, my wife, my wife enjoying you and being
able to share that with her. Yeah. Is how I feel seeing Andrea get recognition and people be like,
Whoa.
Yeah.
I, I, it makes me so happy.
Yeah.
I, um, have lived in Colorado off and on over the years and, and, um, my mother and father went to
school there and, uh, my, or, my father lived there.
My brother went to school.
So I've just had these roots in Colorado.
And, um, years ago, I went to this show at a place called Old Main on the, um, C.U.
campus in Boulder for this activism, this group of people that were social activists that did
performance art, poetry, comedy, anything, really. And, you know, to be fair, they were preaching
to the choir in Boulder. But Andrea was there, and I met Andrea backstage and
I just I wasn't in the poetry world at all and and our mutual friend introduced us they're like oh this is
andry Gibson andrew is a poet and I was like oh interesting and Andrea has had such a um just like
before I was in comedy I was in the music business and and so like Andrea looked familiar in like
gay, from gay circles to like rock and roll to even comedy.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, I feel like, yeah, I know this person.
Like, you know, and then, and then, but man, I didn't because Andrea got on stage and just like,
blew the roof.
This was like 20, 25 years ago, something like that.
And I just, I was like, whoa, because, blown away.
Because the, the beauty of Andrea's work.
And then also Andrea was so deeply funny.
Truly one of the funniest people that I knew and such a joy to laugh with.
You know, when they're just, you know, even if you're like, okay, I might be 5% funnier
than you, but you are still
one of the best
laugh hangs out there.
Yeah. And Andrea
had these lines
you know, that
ran along the cheeks and when
Andrea would laugh, they would just all lift up.
And it was just, I don't know. And that's
I know Andrea was from Boulder
and
and it's just
I was on my way up and
And Andrew was on the way up, and we had similar trajectories of doing rock clubs and
small theaters to big theaters.
How long were you music?
What's that?
How long were you in the music?
I was in the music world for, I mean, less than five years.
I worked with local bands, and I'd be like a rep in a city.
just like the promotion part of it
yeah I just love music so much
and I just wanted to be
I play guitar and drums
but I'm not worthy of a band
right so I just wanted
to get music out there that I really liked
Did you ever think of putting one drum on your back
And then playing the guitar and putting symbols in your
In between your legs
That's a really good idea
Like the one man band thing
Yeah yeah
Just throwing it out there.
I'm in.
Not to talk about X's a lot, but my first girlfriend did a one-man band.
For real?
Yes.
Yeah, I'll have to send you.
It's incredible.
Really?
Yeah, accordion, everything.
Really?
Clank, clank, clank, plank, biv-p.
And it's like, yep, I loved her so.
There she is.
She was the one.
Yeah, she is still a good friend, but man, it's so, it's so funny to see that, yeah.
And I met her in Colorado.
I tell people all the time, some of the most talented artists, poets, musicians, I met in Colorado.
Really?
Oh, my God.
Like, mind bending.
I always feel like with the comedians in Colorado, it's such a, there's, there's,
Solid scene.
Solid scene.
But the one disadvantage they have is that the rest of their life is pretty great.
Yes.
They're hiking.
It's beautiful.
There's good people, food, mountains, everything.
Except for that one old man that'll yell at you for crying.
Yeah.
You need a little bit of discordance to be like, I got to go make it somehow.
You can get a little comfortable.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely a good life.
Yeah.
No doubt.
Yeah.
So was it, so how long had you been in stand-up when you meet Andrea?
Like, I only ask it because of our thing is so, we're going for one reaction, you know, and to watch, it's actually, we're going for one reaction and to watch, actually, we're going for one reaction and to watch a poet, like, move a room without any, without going for laughs primarily.
But now that I'm saying it out loud,
one of the things that makes you great is you aren't like this rapid fire
hanging on every left again through this set.
I try to be.
You do have this, you do have other speeds, other ways of delivering
that makes it very intoxicating.
But when you watched Andrea, was it,
did you admire that somebody could stand in the same spot as you at a mic?
and do something completely different just with words?
Oh my gosh, yes.
I mean, watching Andrea for an hour,
you truly, you're brought to tears.
And then you are dying, laughing.
And Andrea didn't push the comedy and was so dry.
When I was with Andrea in, like, in final days,
and one of my favorite things was,
it hit me from behind because I wasn't expecting any sort of humor.
But I wanted to get in bed with Andrea just to be close.
And when I crawled in bed, when I got to Andrea's house,
Andrea turned and Andrea's wife is another poet,
a great poet, Meg Fowley.
and so I crawl in bed to be close to Andrea
and Andrea turns you know
like is truly three days away from
death and says
I don't I don't know what this
stain is on the bed but
we'll just blame it on Meg okay
and it was like
and it was such a mysterious stain on the bed
I mean truly I was like
yeah, what the hell is that? But also in those moments where you're like, I don't care what I'm lying in, you know, I am all in. Yeah. But yeah, it was really incredible and also to see somebody that could hit all of those highs and lows so effortlessly.
Yeah.
Let me see if I can say this without crying. But the last thing Andrea said to me, which it's so.
so simple. And I don't know, maybe it's just because it's Andrea. Yeah. But what Andrea said to me,
the last moment that I spoke to Andrea, which feel, I don't, again, maybe because Andrea is a
phenomenal poet, but I was like, God, that's even poetic. But Andrea was like, TIG, I loved being
your friend. And I was just, it's so simple. Yeah. But it's so beautifully put. And that's the first time I've been,
able to say it without crying.
Right.
But I was also like...
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Yeah.
I wish I thought of that line, so I can say that to somebody.
I should have said it to her on the way out.
Yeah, but it's so simple.
But that was, that's the beauty of Andrea is the, and,
the documentary. Andrea makes jokes about how
Andrea is like I use the same five words in every poem.
You know, but there's an accessible
aspect to Andrea's poetry.
What was the name of the doc?
Come see me in the good light.
Come see me in the good light.
But there was another line towards the end.
I haven't seen it in a bit.
But there was a similar thing.
She says something.
That's so completely simple towards the end of the dock.
Yeah.
That, oh, man.
And I think I emailed it to you.
Oh, okay.
I'll have to.
I'm sorry, I'm blanking.
No.
There's so many.
But it was that thing.
And that's what, and I always say that about stand-up.
Uh-huh.
That the people that I admire in stand-up, the greatest stand-up to me,
is, it is similar to poetry.
Mm-hmm.
Because you're using the,
fewest amount of words for the greatest impact.
Like that thing is so powerful when done correctly.
Yeah.
But to see it like in poetry is, is, uh...
Well, yeah, and I, I'm...
Ed, to go back to another simple thing, but like...
Was Andrea said, you know,
what kind of poet would I be if I could only make life beautiful on the page?
And I was just like, love that.
Yeah.
I love it.
Yeah, keep them coming.
Yeah, and Andrea did.
Andrea made life very, very beautiful.
And so much of Andrea's words are like forever in my mind.
and have actually helped me in the loss as well
and also going back into other losses that I've had.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm experiencing loss in a very different way
than I ever have before.
Right.
Yeah.
That last, it culminates in this performance in Denver.
Mm-hmm.
And that last poem was just pouring it out.
It's just like so, God, just impactful.
Yeah, yeah.
Oaf.
Yeah, and when Andrea walked, I have chills right now,
but when Andrea walked out on stage,
and it was, you know, everyone knew this was Andrea's final performance.
Yeah.
And when Andrea walked out on stage, the response was electric,
beyond electric.
Yeah.
It just went on and on.
And then when the film came back to Boulder
and played at the Boulder Film Festival,
Andrea wasn't feeling well enough to go to go on stage
and do the Q&A and was sitting in the back
of the Boulder Theater, you know, sold out
thousand-seat theater for this film.
And at the end, after the Q&A,
they were like, oh, and Andrea is here in the back row.
and everyone stood up, turned around, and gave an ongoing standing ovation to Andrea.
Just, you know.
Yeah.
There are certain moments where it's so unbelievably touching for standing ovation.
There's other times where it's like, I didn't feel anything.
Okay.
So that was, you know, you do it because you're supposed to do it.
And then there are those moments where I've seen, especially when we were bringing this film around,
It threw festivals and at Sundance.
It took the audience's favorite award in most festivals it went to.
Right.
And, man, the standing ovations were real.
Yeah.
They were real.
Man, yeah, I could see it.
It was beautiful and powerful and it was amazing.
Seinfeld had, Jerry Seinfeld has this.
He would.
Thank you for adding his first name.
Yeah.
He would, he would, when I worked with him, he would go off.
people would stand up and he would come back and he would always comment on the standing ovation.
He's like, thank you for that. I know not everybody wanted to do it.
You know, that moment where you're looking around, you're like, we're doing this now.
He's stand up. There's so many of those where you're like, oh, wow, okay. I didn't know this is a standing ovation moment.
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Do you wear the spacesuit on your way to the airport?
Everywhere.
I go, Tom.
It's hanging outside the door there.
But my friend is, he runs the Star Trek universe, which is how I ended up in that
world.
Oh, wow.
What does that mean?
He runs the universe.
He is behind all the TV shows.
If there's a film, if there's a cartoon, everything.
He's the executive producer.
Right.
He co-creates a lot of stuff.
But the Ronbury world was handed over to Hurtzman.
Yeah, Alex Hartsman to run.
And it might not be for...
It is.
That's a big thing.
That's a big thing.
And it might not be his whole life and career forever, but I'm thrilled to be a part of it.
Right.
Because it's just such a, it's like, how the hell do I end up on Star Trek?
You know?
Yeah, it's so cool.
It's a fun little thing.
And I'm, that's what I, you know, Stephanie, my wife makes fun of me because, you know,
most people show up to things like, I'm not here to make friends, you know?
I'm the opposite.
I'm like, I am there solely to make friends.
I want to talk to talk to everybody.
I want to get in there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've experienced that on, this is my second Star Trek series.
And so maybe.
The same character?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.
Commander Jet Reno.
Oh, man, Jet.
What a great name.
Yeah.
I named myself Jet.
You did?
Well, they had presented me with Denise Reno, and I called Alex,
I was like, Alex.
I was like, I'm not Denise.
And no offense, any, Denise is out there.
But, I mean, right?
Am I in Denise?
Especially in space.
No, I'm Jet.
And I named myself after Joan Jet.
Oh, nice.
And so I was like, I feel like I'm more like Jet Reno.
And he was like, great, let's do it.
That's pretty good.
But yeah, I might be making poor decisions about my career, pulling it back.
But I'm thrilled.
Yeah.
I'm thrilled.
Yeah.
I'm thrilled.
That's nice.
Yeah.
That's really nice.
Yeah.
So I'm curious to see how it goes because it's, I'm only months into this.
Yeah.
But I can feel it.
It's a, it is a rare thing.
And I've watched some comedians,
Ron White.
He retired.
He made a big thing that he retired.
And I saw him and I was like, thank you for doing that.
It's amazing that.
Like, I never saw a comedian say, you know what, I'm good.
I'm going to go live my life and do my thing.
And I said, I'm not thinking about retiring, but it's nice to see that somebody can just do that and get out of the race.
When did Ron retire?
For about six weeks in 2021.
And then he came right back.
And he said in that conversation, well, I am doing something on New Year's.
That's hilarious.
And I got to warm up for that.
And he had a whole roster.
And since then, he's been going like crazy.
I heard Jimmy Kimmel, I think, in an interview.
Or maybe he told me this.
I don't know.
But when the writer's strike was going on, what was that?
A couple years ago.
Yeah.
After the pandemic.
Yeah.
And he said he was on the verge of retiring.
And then the first.
rider strike happen.
And then he had whatever,
six months or nine months, I can't remember how long
it went on. Like the rest
of everybody, just like, wow,
okay, let's see how this goes.
And he said, in that time,
when he
was planning on
moving towards retirement, and then
was kind of forced into
being off
work, and
you know, they did that one podcast
with all late night hosts, but
in general he wasn't working and he said he realized he doesn't want to retire right he he actually
does not want to retire and i have to credit um jimmy um because when i heard him say that you know how
you can hear something your whole life and then one person says it and you actually can see inside
the door for the you're like oh right right it was one of those moments where i i really got in touch
with how I wouldn't want to retire, and I can just pull back.
Yeah.
And I can just semi-retire if I did retire one day.
But I don't think anyone will ever hear my big retirement announcement because I was
already so ready to pull back.
And then when I heard Jimmy say that, I just really locked in of like, that actually
makes the most sense is pulling back or semi-retiring. Yeah, yeah. And that's, that was the thing I came
way with, with Ron watching him. It was, oh, he didn't, he didn't really want to retire, but he needed a
break. Yeah. He needed a break. And he needed a big send-off. Yeah. He wanted to see if CNN would
pick it up. And was there a big welcome back? No. No, it was just like, oh, hey, Ron. You're back.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, I didn't know you left.
We do a thing on this program called An Uncomfortable Moment.
I'm into that.
You know, sometimes things just get awkward or whatever.
Sometimes stuff you've done in the past, sometimes is things for the future.
And I guess it's uncomfortable to bring it up now after what you so eloquently put it down is your life plan of dialing back.
So maybe this isn't the right time to pitch this.
You want me to retire?
No.
The opposite.
I wanted to join up and be a part of your project.
I think your wife would be down.
She would be so happy if you joined our very queer podcast.
I think that would be, that's the only thing probably missing from me.
you is that you don't identify in that way.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, you know, as we found here on Breaking Bread, sometimes you've got to change things up
to keep people interested.
What is the awkward part?
Because you see you're dialing back and you're not looking for other stuff and here I am
presenting a next chapter.
And look, it's also a little awkward if you have to, if this, it looks to me a little
crowded to add me to the handsome podcast. Yeah. So you need to get rid of somebody to make room for me.
I'm happy to leave. I'm happy to leave because, you know, I'm pulling back. No. I already do a show
with Fortune, so maybe she can go. I don't know. Okay. Yeah. Luckily, you whispered that. Yeah.
Nobody will hear it. This podcast really blew up quickly.
It's done well, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you see that coming?
I mean...
You know, I had a feeling that it could...
That it had the potential.
I felt like there was this empty space in the LGBTQ world of podcasting.
And not to say people weren't podcasting.
Right.
But I felt like...
What I noticed was anytime I ran into May, anytime I ran into Fortune, I enjoyed talking to them.
And I thought, just reach out to them. See how that goes? I felt like people would be excited.
And May and Fortune were excited. And then when it got released into the world, I wasn't surprised.
but I was
I guess not to sound cocky
but I guess I wasn't really surprised
because I thought it was a good
combo of people
and it's your second really good one
the one you did with Cheryl
was I really enjoyed
that I used to listen to it when I would drive my
daughters to dance
yeah that show ended
yeah Cheryl was one of
my
favorite friends
to be ridiculous with.
Yeah.
And we made each other laugh so hard.
And I love documentaries.
Yeah.
And it was fun to have to watch a documentary every week.
But it also, we took the pressure off because we would ask each other things like,
who are you attracted to in this documentary?
Right.
And just, and my favorite thing is getting negative, like people that are outraged
about the free podcast you're offering.
Right.
And I'm like, it's like being at a restaurant.
If you're eavesdropping and you don't like the conversation.
Yeah.
No, you know, like listen to another one.
Right.
And so with Cheryl and True Story, our show, people would, every now and then we'd get
the angriest comment of like clearly like an NPR type that was looking for like a critical
documentary uh review uh and then they tune in and we're just like yeah hardly talking about
the doc barely yeah barely that was so great about it mostly talking about who we were attracted
yeah or what you were eating when you were watching it yeah um but Cheryl's married to uh bobby kennedy
Junior.
Right.
When he was announcing his run, I just felt like I needed to step away because, you know,
there are beliefs that were like a gnat on the arm years ago that were getting
further into the spotlight.
Uh-huh.
My friendship with Cheryl predated her marriage to Bobby.
Oh, okay.
And he was in environmental law.
Yeah.
And again, other beliefs he had were like a gnat on my arm.
But then it started to grow.
And Cheryl wanted me to hear Bobby out and they had these good ideas.
and I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't.
I didn't, I just didn't trust it.
And then he endorsed Trump.
And it just got hard to.
And she was, it seemed like she was trying to kind of distance herself from it at first.
When somebody is like, oh, we don't agree on everything within a marriage.
Yeah.
That is so vague.
Right.
Stephanie and I don't agree on the temperature when we go to bed.
Yeah.
You know?
I like 68, she likes 72.
Yeah, yeah.
And so, but I would never say, Stephanie and I don't agree on things.
And so I think where it has led is, I'm not, I, it's not my world.
Right, right.
It's a hard pass.
And it's such a big, dominant cultural thing that, yeah.
It's no handsome.
It's no handsome.
It's no handsome.
And it's, you know, you're okaying a particular ride for this country to go on.
Yeah.
That's.
Yeah, it's affecting a lot of people in a lot of ways that you would see the complete.
opposite. Yeah. So is it a no?
About you joining handsome? Yeah. Or me and Cheryl
revisiting? Me joining handsome. Wait, do you know Cheryl?
No. Oh, okay. No. Just, it was really, you know, just watching, just knowing her as an actress.
And she was on our radio show a couple times. Okay. And she was a delight. I mean,
she's so fun. Her laugh is, so the two of you on that podcast were just a delight. I agree.
You would just go, you really would just go off on the silliest things.
And your delivery and her laugh, it was just this really nice combination.
I agree.
And it's, it's really sad because it did bring me so much joy.
Yeah.
And Cheryl did bring me so much joy.
And, but that's what I, that's what I'm looking for is I, I want to get back to
prioritizing people that bring me joy and workloads that bring me joy.
Yeah, that's good.
You mentioned earlier that you said that someone was just, I think it was Andrea,
it was a really good laugh hang.
Yeah.
Like a really good laugh hang.
Yeah.
How many of those do you have in your life?
Do you have a lot of those?
Stephanie is one of the greatest laugh hangs.
Yeah.
We had, I think, one of our hearts.
hardest laughs of not just together, but in our lives where, you know, when somebody is wheezing and you
haven't seen that face or heard that noise before, and you, and then there's even long periods of
silence where they haven't caught their breath again. And, and, and we, we have this, you know,
when we're in bed, like right before we doze off, we, we start talking about everything, and it
really can go off the rails. And it really went off the rails the other night. And where she went
silent for so long that I thought she laughed and got over it. And that always fascinates me when
something is so funny that everyone's laughing and then they all pull it together, but then you
still can't get over it. You know what I mean? Like that always, where I'm looking at people going,
how have you moved on from that visual, you know?
And I thought she had moved on, but she was actually just,
catching her breath.
She didn't have any breath.
She couldn't do anything, and she was making these noises.
I had never heard her body make.
And so I would say she is my number one laugh hang.
Wow.
And I feel so thankful for that.
Yeah, yeah.
And, gosh, who are some, I mean, I oddly have a very close-knit friend group from childhood that I moved here with.
Oh, yeah.
And I think, you know, when you know people for so long, like from the time you're five or the time you're in junior high and the deep laughter that you can have with people that know you.
you.
Yeah.
And they know they have seen you at the worst.
And, you know, those...
Like decades of inside joke.
Decade.
And like decades of seeing you flounder.
Right.
There is no one better to have laugh at you or laugh at than, than, and I love
ribbing people.
And I love when people rib me.
Yeah.
I just, God, I love that.
It's the best.
I don't have, I don't laugh as much as when I was younger.
Yeah.
With, in friendships.
Okay.
Like I do, I have some, you know, but that uncontrollable gets you kind of a thing.
That's why I ask.
It is such, yeah, and Cheryl and I had that.
Yeah, right, right.
And, yeah, it's so.
So wonderful.
Well, I like this new path that you're on.
I was at a Yankee game the other day.
Oh, we're in New York?
In New York.
We were just at a Yankees game.
Oh, you are?
That story you told at Largo,
when we did a show for the Dodgers.
And you were at the World Series game.
Yes.
And just happened, and you know nothing.
That story made me laugh.
And I was at the game and I was telling it to my friends.
because it's such a funny...
Oh, you're at the Yankees game.
I was at the Yankee game with my three high school friends.
Oh, okay.
I go all the time.
And I was telling them that story.
I just keep telling that story.
It's so funny.
I have to...
Did I show you the footage?
Yes.
Okay.
Where you see my family just going nuts.
You just happen to be filming because you're like,
oh, the game's getting long or whatever.
I'm just going to hit record on the phone.
And it just happens to be when...
when Freddie hits the Grand Slam home run.
No way.
And she captures the whole thing and her kids, like, losing their shit.
And she knows nothing of what's happening.
She doesn't know baseball.
She doesn't know anything.
And I should know more because my kids play, like, travel baseball.
And we watch it.
We watch baseball all the time at our house.
We go to see the Dodgers, the Yankee.
We are baseball.
But I just, I'm not great with patterns.
and so I just look at sports like, oh, somebody hit a ball.
And so, oh, they're running.
And, like, I'm not trying to play, like, dumb girl.
Like, I don't know sports.
I'm athletic.
I used to play soccer, but I don't know the ins and outs.
And so when I was at all, and if it's our team or the other team that gets a hit or a run or a catch, I'm like, great.
I'm all for it.
But that I truly, I lined it up with Freddie at bat.
Of course I didn't know what was coming.
Of course I didn't know what was coming.
And so I'm filming him and he hits the ball.
Yeah.
This is my commentary.
Freddie hits the ball.
And all I know is I've been at this game for hours.
And nobody has responded the way that,
The audience just responded.
And you said you were at that game.
I was there.
It exploded.
It exploded.
And I was like, did they win?
I was like, I guess we won.
And I like put the camera on my wife and my kids and my father-in-law.
I'm like, well, they are thrilled.
And they were just like screaming and jumping up and down.
I didn't want to ruin the video and be like, what happened?
But I didn't know what a walk-off home run was.
Grand Slam.
I didn't know anything.
I didn't know the bases were loaded.
I mean, I don't even have to do that.
They were loaded.
I didn't know anything.
And she captures this moment.
Perfectly.
Like, it's going to go down in history as like one of the greatest moments in baseball.
And in my family's life.
That my father-in-law, in his 70s, got to go to a World Series game with his grandsons and witness that.
And as I'm telling you, I still don't even know.
exactly what happened.
The level of what they witnessed.
And I mean, that place,
I've never been in any place on Earth
where I felt that much joy
in one moment.
Like that place lifted us off
into the solar system.
It was crazy.
I was with you.
Steady Eddie.
Steady Eddie with the camera.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm so glad.
I guess we won.
That's what I thought.
I thought the Dodger.
just won the game.
Yeah.
And that,
but I'd been to Dodger games
and they were not like that.
Not like that.
But now I know.
Oh,
I love that story.
I think when I was talking about Freddie Freeman,
I had said like,
and I know who Freddie Freeman is
because he looks like my attorney.
It wasn't like because he's
a iconic baseball player.
Yeah.
But that's truly when he would go up to bat on TV
and stuff. I'd be like, oh, there's Julian.
It looks just like my attorney.
So I know him.
Oh, man, it's such a great story.
It was so funny.
And watching, seeing the footage,
I mean, you've got to see the video.
It's so perfect.
It's like, it's like a field of dreams or something.
It's even more perfect if there was footage of me filming it going.
Right.
Like, because I feel like people don't, I genuinely don't follow much pop culture at all.
Right.
And people don't believe that.
Right.
It's true.
Are you on social media?
I am.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm not on in the way.
Yeah.
Well, like we talked about in the beginning.
I'm not as engaged.
Right.
But I'm on.
Yeah.
And also, I think people maybe don't.
believe that I don't really clock what's happening in sports, and I think it's because I
look so gay. And we have a handyman, and when he first started working for us, he loves the Phillies,
and he came over, he's like, oh, just watched that Phillies game. And I go, oh, wrong lesbian. Let me go
get my wife. You know, because I understand why it's directed at me, but like I, yeah, now you got the wrong one.
I started calling myself a traddyke.
You know, even though I'm not traditional in that sense.
You're just baking the pies.
Yeah, just wearing the flannels.
Right.
Baking the pies.
Listen to the indigo girls, you know.
Just the traddike.
The traddike.
Yeah.
So I'm starting to feel like it's a no.
And again, I don't know a no about...
Me being unhandsome.
It's okay.
I can talk to Fortune about leaving.
the group.
Okay.
And I will tell her that came from you.
It was my idea.
It was.
It was your idea.
And, but again, I am willing to leave.
I want to be with you, though.
Well, we can go back to our social media page.
Okay.
Where we upload anytime we're together.
Right.
Tigg and Tom.
Tom and TIG.
I'm flexible.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or we could switch it up.
You know what?
That could be our first post.
What?
Us trying to figure out the name.
Well, maybe we can use this footage.
I think it's different.
We have to start filming ourselves for social media.
Can't this be our podcast?
This can be our pilot episode.
This is it.
Yeah.
No.
When do we eat the bread?
When you go home.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
When do I go home?
About five minutes.
Oh, okay.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you run out of things?
What, to talk about?
Yeah, it's fine.
No.
I know.
It's like, I get it.
You had cancer tig, and I get it.
You're gay.
No.
And you're vegan.
I thought we were rolling.
Oh, me too.
Yeah.
Whatever.
So.
I don't want to be in handsome anyway.
Who's cigarettes?
Uh, anyone who wants to smoke them.
Can smoke in here?
No one's ever lit up.
You would let them smoke here?
I would let anybody do anything.
But wait.
Really? Like if I lit up?
I wouldn't say anything. I would quietly be worried that a fire alarm would go off, but I would just deal with the consequences.
Okay. But wouldn't it smell bad to you?
I don't mind the smell of smoke.
Wow.
No.
Well, that's a terrible person to live with. I used to smoke.
You did.
Yeah.
I could see, I tell the way you grabbed it.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. You didn't. Here's the scene.
No, you did.
What?
Did you smoke ever?
No.
You get to hell?
I don't know.
All right.
I'm going to, I know you're only taking work you want to do and all that, but I'm going to, I'm going to direct you right now.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
I want you with the cigarette, your own, you can do it.
You have to use the cigarette.
Yeah.
Give me a beat.
Yeah.
Sizing me up.
You can put me in in whatever.
I am.
Yeah.
Someone you don't like.
Yeah.
Someone that really bothers you.
Yeah.
That's you.
I want you to take that in and then again, using the cigarette any way that you want.
Yeah.
And give me in a real F you.
You bastard.
I was planning on ending the podcast giving you an FU.
I thought that'll be the ultimate come back, callback.
and then now you're
I just jumped it
Yeah so
You can still end on it
If it's good enough
We'll end on it
And if it's not
How much longer will we go?
Four minutes
Beavneau
Embarque
And Marquay
And Marquette
Ciroat
Bookinay
Oh
So Coo
And Profite
Via Raille
The Voice That We
Fuck you
I felt
that. Did you?
Yeah. I did too. That was good.
Well, I think it's my disdain for you. I really do.
I think I really conjured something up in you. Yeah. Yeah.
As an actor though. And because I know my wife loves you so much. I'm just like,
fuck you. Well, you told her, you, you, you promoted me. I did. You can't then turn on it when
she falls in love. I know. You know what I mean? Like, it's different than if she came to you and
was like, I love this guy and then you have to be like, really that comic? Now, let me
ask you something. When somebody says to you, oh my God, I love you or oh my God, my
my wife loves you or whatever it is, how deeply do you take that in and go, oh my God,
thank you. And it means so much. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Because I want to sit here
and go, but really, Stephanie loves you so much. Yeah. Yeah. I take it in. I take it in more now
than I did when I was younger for some reason.
Yeah, it has impact.
I really do kind of like appreciate it, own it.
It doesn't last that long, though.
Like, you know, like, I'll take it in and be like, oh, that's great, that's great.
And kind of like feel it, but, you know, a couple minutes.
And then I'm like, who else loves it?
Does it depend on the person?
Is it like from strangers to?
to friends or fans.
It's better from strangers, maybe.
Okay.
There's other stuff going on with people you know, I guess.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
Yeah.
It doesn't, it's kind of a cool lesson to learn.
And I'm sure at this stage you kind of have this similar thing of like you're always chasing, you know, validation through your work and through what you make.
any kind of accolades you get from it or people saying, you know, I like you or respect you
or whatever like that. And then you really learn that it's a foolish thing to chase because even
if you do achieve it and you have people you respect say, I really like you, it feels good,
but it's not everything. It's not as, it's not as fulfilling as you think it was going to be
when you're younger. I still love it. Like when you say how funny,
you think I am.
That does mean a lot.
It definitely means a lot.
It means a lot for me to feel that way about somebody in comedy,
because you get kind of numb to certain things and people.
Yeah.
But like you have that like silly, deeply funny thing that tickles me.
And so thank you for that.
Fuck you.
I didn't feel that.
Damn it.
It was kind of like I was smoking weed or something.
Well, also you made that weird noise when you fake inhaled.
Like the whole thing was just like, oh my God, I could smoke this guy out of this room so fast.
Damn it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever.
This was a delight.
It was a delight for me.
Thank you for having me.
Thanks for being here.
Name of the documentary again.
Come see me in the good light.
Come see me in the good light.
It will premiere on Apple TV November 14th.
It's so good.
It really was one of the most moving things I've seen in years.
It really was.
I believe you and I hear you and I appreciate it and I feel the same.
I'm so proud.
It's the thing I'm truly most proud of in my whole career.
Wow.
And I didn't direct it.
I am just an old friend of Andreas.
I'm a producer on it.
Just like our mutual friend, Steph Willen.
And then the filmmakers, Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave.
Yeah.
They did the Pamela documentary.
They did so many incredible documentaries.
It's so good.
It really is.
Like I said in the beginning, you'd just fall in love with her.
And you wish you could have gone and seen her live.
One of those things where you wish you were introduced to them earlier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what's incredible is we filmed and edited.
at Andrea's final performance, which we haven't sold or released anywhere.
We're just kind of holding on to.
So we know there's going to be...
I mean, even when Andrea died, there was like...
I mean, Oprah was talking about Andrea Gibson.
It was crazy how many people learn of Andrea Gibson.
That's so great.
And then, of course, it's sad because Andrea's gone now,
but there's so much,
Andrea has so many books that people can order.
And then hopefully after the documentary comes out,
we'll find a way to release that special.
Yeah, yeah.
That would be great.
Yeah, it's so good.
It's really beautiful.
And equally as beautiful, when can we see Jet?
Jet Reno.
I don't think that.
We're filming second.
season. It's the new series that I'm on. It's starring Holly Hunter. And the bad guy is Paul Giamatti.
No way. That's great. It comes out, I think, in the new year. What's the name of it? It's called Starfleet Academy.
And it's got all the young cadets coming up and they're so crazy talented. Yeah. It's ridiculous.
That's so great. Obviously, Paul and Holly are as well. Just really incredible. But I'm
also on the morning show this season.
Oh, nice.
Last season and this season.
But that's the end of me on the morning show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They kill you off.
I mean, probably in their minds, but I think I've just done there.
Right.
But Star Fleet will be starting in the new year.
Very cool.
Yeah.
You're the best.
And I, you, sir.
Thank you.
I'll see you next time.
Yes, you will.
And check out Handsome, Anybody.
Oh, yeah, handsome.
When you were Tom Papa,
when you were
braced some of
in course of recreat,
always in trying to negotiate,
exchanging these cards of hockey,
the bonhom,
these bracelets,
even some of the collation.
You know that
has a value
well before to
have to be counted.
And,
and the things
have not really changed.
Negoti-tit-T-T-D
you can't
to renewing with
your instinct of
negotiation.
With,
without operation
gratuit,
no amount of minimum
and no rent-ment
mensual. You're made for
for negotiate, and the appellee Nogosite
T-D is made for you aid.
Telecharge it right now.
