Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 289 - Dan Soder

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Today the hilarious Dan Soder joins us at the table! He talks criticizing Howard Stern, living above the subway, getting covid in Canada. Enjoy! Check out his podcast SODER and his tour dates at https://www.dansoder.com/.  Head to https://www.squarespace.com/PAPA to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code PAPA. Use code PAPA at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That’s 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code PAPA.  Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch at MINTMOBILE.com/BREAKINGBREAD.  ---------------- Tom Papa is a celebrated stand-up comedian with over 20 years in the industry. Watch Tom's new special "Home Free" out NOW on Netflix! Patreon - Patreon.com/BreakingBreadWithTomPapa Radio, Podcasts and more: https://linktr.ee/tompapa/ Website - http://tompapa.com/ Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/tompapa Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tompapa Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comediantompapa Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/tompapa #tompapa #breakingbread #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #bread Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years. With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises.

Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Lazzang sur-joled, puissance-moyerned for 15 minutes. We'd say that's their dojo. Prere to play a pleasure

with the Ojo. The casino in line that proposes the more recent machine-assau and the game of casino in direct. Profite of 50 tours on Big Bas, Bonanza.

Without exigance of mis, and with payments instantane. Hey! I've gained! Woo-hoo! Sontire the pleasure Play-Ojo!

108 and plus, 1,1, 1-Depos only depot on Ontario. 50 tours on $1% per cente Billis Bonanza.

DePos minimum of 10 dollars. Veilieieie DeCue de course responsibility's Appliquinsins Now we got AI, so I don't know what the fuck is fake. I know. Dude, I remember your first AI got you a moment?

Yes, can I tell you to you? It's so cringy. Dude, buddy. My family is asleep. I came back from the comedy store and I opened up my laptop and I was like, what is going on with the ditty case? And I went on YouTube. Keanu Reeves came in.

No. And Keanu. Come on. Support me till it's over. Okay. I can only get through it if you support me until it's over. You're like John Wick's taken down. Stop it.

It's breaking bread. Welcome, Dan Soder. Welcome. Yeah. I'm working on this impression. Do you go to Disney when you were a kid? I went to Disneyland once when I was eight. Do you ever go to the haunted mansion?

Yes. When you first go in to that one thing, I saw on Instagram the guy who did the voiceover. Oh, yeah? Welcome. Oh, that's fun. Welcome. That's good. Right?

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I feel like I should start every podcast that way. Yeah, spooky welcome. Welcome, Dan Soder. Yeah, but it almost is like, if people don't know you do that, they go, hey, does he have like a problem? Does you have like a throat thing?

Yeah, I'd have to reference it every time. Have you ever been to Disneyland? Every impression has to come with him. Have you ever been to Disneyland? This is how I'm going to get you there. Just meet me here and I'll get you there. That's like the, I was able to do Rick Chrome, you know, the legendary legendary, legendary comedy seller.

I've probably heard it over 2,000 times. Right. And I was pretty good at doing him. The comedy seller. Yeah. He's like, Welcome to the world famous comedy seller. And it's like,

Rick Chrome. Yeah. Rick Chrome. And it was useless because nobody knew who Rick Chrome was. But you did the Tompapa Radio Hour. And Rick Chrome's on it doing an amazing job all the time. Yeah. So that's how you do it.

I saw a clip with Eddie Murphy and he was talking about. he was doing Charlie Murphy and he was like my best impression is my brother and he was like I needed to get him famous so people would understand how awesome of an impression I do I really love that line when I saw that I was like yeah I completely did that welcome when you nail one person yeah good to see you

we're in a serious XM yes we aren't watching it and you had your very successful show here for a long time bonfire yeah the bonfire rages on but now with Bobby Kelly with Jay and Bobby still going. How was, but it is weird coming back. That was a big move from the outside

just as your, as your pal who doesn't run into you all the time. That was a big move. What was it? Were you anxious getting, taking, stepping away? It was 100% religious disagreements between Jay and I. I understand that.

You being a Christian scientist. I'm a Christian scientist. He, of course, is a black Israelite. So we could not come together. I understand. No, man, it was like this was such a fun job. I loved it so much. Yeah.

We did it eight years. And I thought we were going to do it too. Right. After eight years, you were like, all right. And I told Jay. It's sneaky, isn't it? The time, like, with those projects. Yeah, where you just go, well, you get used to it.

You get into a groove and then you do it. It was the most fun I ever had. Yeah. But I told Jay, when we first started, I was like, the second, this in any way feels like a job, I'm out. Because I think with creative partnerships, that's where it crumbles. Yeah. I think it starts becoming like less about what you're doing with the person and more about the treat at the end, which is the paycheck.

Right. So it just became a thing where I was like starting to get like, I was starting to have to give up other opportunities. Like a lot of times, like I was supposed to the casting people from the Miss Miss Mayselle. Miss Maisel show were like mad at me. Like they had me one day where they're like, we can film you in this block, just come in. They didn't even want me to be a major character, but they were just like, they were really cool. And they were like trying to bring me back. Yeah.

But I never could be on that show because I was like, I got to do bonfire. And they would be like, and I'm not regretting that. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying there were other stuff. It was interfering. It wasn't like. There was this stuff where after eight years, I was like, I think I've done enough. Yeah.

I think I've done enough. And what did it feel like when you woke up the next day? Well, I think the first one was I felt guilt. Uh-huh. I felt bad for leaving the show. but I gave Joe, I mean, Joe, that's so funny. Who's that guy that did the show? Joe Pokerson.

What's my old partner's name? Slim Joe Pokerson? No, but Jay, like, I kind of told Jay the second it became like, ugh. Yeah. Like a day where you're like, I want to go in and do it. And also, I wanted, like, I felt bad for, I knew how much he wanted to do it. Yeah. And I felt bad that I didn't want to do it as bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I was kind of like, this is really fun. Yeah. And also. And knowing that he's like, he's, he is like, seem built for it. Yeah. Dude, series X-exam is built for. Yeah.

Yeah. I got in trouble recently for rant, ranting about Howard Stern on my podcast. You did? Well, I didn't get in trouble. Who's going to get in trouble? Me and the guy that films my podcast. But they, uh, the internet, they're like watching Howard Stern fans that are still committed, be like, and who the fuck is this guy?

And you go, nobody. I'm not saying anybody. If you listen to the clip, I give nothing but compliments to Howard. But my point remains the same is he's a shitty employee of Sirius XM. He never, like, made way for other shows here to be successful. Right. He just hogged it. He was Godzilla.

Because he's insecure. And he admits that. Yeah. And he couldn't just, but, like, now. He built his empire. But, like, you're here and you're like, and I say this, and people are like, don't you keep fucking say it. Like, so it's funny.

to say it in the walls of serious because you're like, dude, right now what we should be doing is this whole company, even the idea of him leaving, should be drumming up the like, we're going to have the going away celebration. Right. And instead it's going to just be his crew being like, bye, everybody, we're leaving. And everyone's like, see ya. And didn't they come back and say, no, he was never leaving? They said it was a prank or whatever.

But this is what I mean. When he finally does leave, everyone's going to be like, okay. Right. And there you go. Yeah. I don't know. I just didn't want to overstay my welcome. Yeah.

And also a thing is, is for me personally, I wanted to work on my stand-up. Yeah. I didn't. I felt like. It was getting in the way? Well, this takes out of you. This takes, I mean, I think Big J. truly is the funniest human being I've ever met my life. Yeah.

I would swear that up and down. I'm amazed at how funny he can be on everything. Yeah. I was, it was like being running partners was pre-fontaine. We were just kind of like, I'm tired, boss. I just want to go home. And so once I left, I felt guilty, and then I felt like itchy. There were like topics I would call Jay.

And we just have like these hour conversation. One time we were on the phone, we were both on the road. And we talked for like probably like two hours. And at the end of the phone call, he goes, well, we just did a bonfire. And I was in Buffalo. And I was like, yeah, because I called him about something I saw online. Yeah. And we still have that.

We had that recently when I did skanks in my coming out. But I go over to his house. That's what I enjoy now is like, you can. It's so far, it's been a couple of years. Right. So now we're just buddies again. That's cool. That's the shit.

And do you feel like it, all your reasons for doing it for your stand-up and stuff that it all paid off? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I think in the last like two years I've progressed more in my stand-up than I have in the last 10 years. Wow. That's great.

Just because I'm able to work on shit. Yeah. And, you know. Now it's first. And I love doing the bonfire, but the thing was, is sometimes you would burn premises. Yeah. You'd have an idea and you go, this is funny. And like, Jay and I riff on it.

And it is really funny, but you also go, selfishly, I could have kept that. Yeah. And just had that as a joke. Yeah. And, like, done that as a joke on stage. Yeah. And then, you know, I think with podcasting, a thing that's just inevitable is fans of years will hear the birth of premises in, bits you do on your podcast.

So you just have to be careful about that. Yeah. But now I just do a podcast once a week and it's just a one-on-one thing so I don't. Yeah. You know, it happens a lot less. Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, that's why I do my podcast is I have funny people on and then they come up with great ideas and then I don't tell them and just use that premise.

God, I like that would be incredible if I saw you doing a bit about growing up in Aurora, Colorado. I'm like, Tom's not from Colorado at all. I brought you some bread from bread's bakery. Normally I would bake you bread, but I'm on the road. Yeah, you're going to Winnipeg. I'm going to Winnipeg right after this. The sexiest city in all of Canada. I can't understand.

Could we look up, Rach's? Is it cold there yet? It might be. It might be. There you go. There are a great bakery here in New York. They sponsor, they cater everything that I do in New York. This is acceptable.

And you're a bread guy, so you know. Yeah, it's legit. You can do the cop thing where you taste the brick. There you go. It's good bread. Yeah, it's legit. One day when you're in L.A., I'll give you my bread. All right.

That's a gift for you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Katie's going to be so happy I'm bringing home the bread. It's close. I'm going to get mad about a joke. So when you're growing a lot, is it mostly in the city or are you on the road? I'm on the road.

Yeah. I'm on the road. I mean, you know, I stay in the city. The best part about the city is. it's so convenient. I know. Like Mondays and Wednesdays, you can just do spots

and it's like not a big pressure on your schedule. I know. It's so good. Yeah, LA. You can't. LA, it's a 30-minute drive to a club

and you've got to park. I was out there recently and I was like, oh man, I remember when Nate moved to L.A. He was like, I'm going to do the same amount of spots. And I was like, impossible. He's like, I'm going to do it, buddy.

And he did it because he's so determined. He like, he like did it for like two weeks. And then he's like, I can't do it. I know. Just getting in your car and seeing on the navigation, the comedy store, 25 minutes. You're like, oh, geez. But for me, it sneaks up on me where I'll be like, well, I'm just going here to here. And I'll plug it in and it in like 40 minutes. You're like, really? I don't know why I'm adjusted to New York City travel, which I know everything will take 25 minutes. Right. Yeah. More or less, 25 minutes. And in L.A. at night, going into clubs is about the same amount of time. Isn't it weird the different process of going to your car, getting your car, driving.

And also because the environment around you is all going to bed. The lights are turning off. Everyone's ending it. Yeah. Your dog is like, where are you going? It's bedtime. Yeah. Why are you, dude, every time I leave after I walk my dog, she's like, what's up?

I pooped and peed. We're in. Yeah, we can see. Yeah, we're in until it's bright out. Yeah, we're leaving a house on a dog and I'm not understanding you. Like, I got a set. It would be scary if my dog was that smart She's like, got it

I know My dog's so dumb She he gets sad when I come home With my bag Oh I love that Just seeing the bag He's like Oh my trigger

You were just gone When you're coming in just to tease me I know I have to like unpack it and store it Oh really? Before he'll relax Like if you just leave it open You know or just leave it around

He's like you're leaving again You just looked in the door I have to put it out by the door the night before. Because a lot of times I leave early. So I'll be like, well, I guess I'm going to the bathroom,

Myrtle. And then I'm getting dressed in the living room. Like I'm cheating on my wife. It's true. And then I grab my shit and I'm out of the door. But there is nothing better than

you know, for years I was on the road without a dog. And then having the key in the door and hearing like the like the paws being like I know who the fuck that is. And yeah.

You just get in that entrance. Burr had a joke about that, that was perfect. He's like, he's talking about, he's like, his wife was like, you're so happy to see the dog when you come home. He's like, yeah, well, you're not shaking your ass going nuts. And it's true. It's like, dude, every time she's like,

what kind of dog is it? She's a mutt. A mutt, yeah. Which? Mine's a pug. Okay. I have another black lab, but the pug is the focus. He totally, an asthmatic, a dog whose tail doesn't wag.

Yeah. And he gets so excited. He goes, uh, actually just is a little... We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. If you spend a lot of time cooking at home, it's time to elevate your game.

When your cookware actually feels good to use and is thoughtfully made and looks beautiful on your counter, it just makes the whole experience better. That's what I've really liked about Quince. Their cookware, knives, and tableware are elevated, but they're still super practical. Everything is made to last, designed to be seen, honestly priced way more reasonably than you'd expect for that kind of quality.

It just makes everyday cooking feel a little more special. Quince has a really solid kitchen lineup. Their stainless steel and ceramic nonstick cookware performs like the kind you'd find in a professional kitchen. And their Japanese Damascus steel knives make prep feel way easier and more precise. I love having quince in my lineup. I've got these good ceramic frying pans and sauce pans. They're very cool. They're good in your hand, and they clean easy, which is another very cool thing.

The best part, everything at Quince is priced way lower than you'd expect. 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Go get it right now. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com slash Papa for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E. dot com slash papa

p-a-pa for free shipping and 365-day returns quince.com slash papa that's fun that's like a Warner Brothers thing just like zoom in and go

just one he's so happy you just want to go I don't want to get nervous getting a pug that excited yeah I would get nervous getting a pug that excited paddle

how old's the lab about six, seven. So she's seven. They're number two. The Pugs number one. In the hierarchy? Yeah. In your hierarchy.

Well, it depends. Be honest. In my hierarchy. Give me, I don't know. Pugs number one. Yeah. Pugs number one. I'm going,

I want Tompapa's. Pugs number one because it's a hilarious animal. It looks funny. It's a great comedian dog. Yes. Still has all the energy of like went to see you. But then the rest of the time, I don't need to go out.

You want to just hang? I'm good with hanging. I love it. The speed of the house is so chill. Yeah. The lab is like a thoroughbred horse. Just having it in the house is just like, we're walking. We're barking.

You feel like you should have a pond in your house for a dog to hunt ducks when you have like a lab or something. Totally. I love labs. I love golden retrievers. When I see them in New York City, I get depressed. I do too. I'm like, you need, I'm depressed for my dog and she's 50 pounds. Right.

And I'm like, you're too big. We got to get you out. I know. Just the nails on the pavement. Oh, like she's wearing high heels. Like, she's a take no business, take no shit business woman. That's what I'll do when we're walking up 6th Avenue. She works high for more money.

The way she moves. One time I got high enough that it was really fun walking my dog because in my head it was like, that girl opening. You know? Like, she's just in the city, like trouncing around. I was like, it's Myrtle in the city. I like to do that when I'm walking her. And she's like, because there's like a bouncer on the street where we live that he knows her and he gets excited. And it's like a cool club.

So there'll be like cool people waiting to get in. And then I'd be like, there she is. And Murdo they're like, ha. She's just fat and out of breath because it's at the end of the walk. And he's like, hi, friend. And then she was like, all right. She tries to go in, which I always think it's funny. Is there a place outside of the city that you could take her where she can run?

Run free. Yeah, well, sometimes we'll go to, like, Hoboken, there's a good dog park. Yeah. But we'll go to Big Jays. Yeah. But Jay's got a huge backyard now. Oh, really? And he's got it.

And Dawkins, his dog. So we'll go over there and just have them. And then you just go. Yeah. And then you're like, why am I bringing this dog back to the city? It almost hurts. Yeah. And you know she knows.

Yeah. She's like, why are we getting, we're going back to the car? Because there's this, uh, there's this giant lawn. And another dog. And I never see these trans humans all the. We can stay here forever. I just want to hang out here. It is funny.

So you can do a spot on a Monday at the cellar. Yeah, but going to Big Jays, it is funny because you find out my dog's the weirdo because she likes to sit in the dirt. They have dirt under their kitchen window and Myrtle just likes to sit behind the bush. And you're like, oh man, we got the weird kid. They're just sitting under the fucking window. Like everyone, don't talk to me. Come out, Merdell.

Make some friends. Dude, we were just sitting there. Christine got her out, but she was just sitting there. Fuck, everyone. I'm not going back to the same. Winnipeg weather, by the way, is mid-60s. Nice, perfect. That's good.

Light sweater weather. Maybe they'll have trees. Are you doing one day in Winnipeg? I'm doing one day in Winnipeg and I'm going to Regina. Yeah. And Regina, which their slogan is Regina. It rhymes with fun. Yeah.

That is great. Isn't that pretty good? I like a city with a self-deprecating sense of humor. Make the joke. And when I took the gig, I was like, oh, that's cool. It's like a less than an hour flight to Regina from Winnipeg. Yeah, but they only fly twice a week and not on the day I need to do it. No.

So we're in a car for six hours. No. Going from Winnipeg to redshed. Yeah. Oh, talk about like, well, this will be easy. And then you're like, shit. Yeah. Yeah, I got COVID in Winnipeg before when you had to test to get back in.

Oh, no. Yeah. And you, so you. I went to the airport 6 a.m. The guy was like, you're not going home, bud. No. Yeah. The guy at the testing center.

he's like, do you have a mask? I think I had a mask and he was like because this was when it was still like you had to test to get into the United States. Yeah. And I walked up the night before. You knew. I was at Rumors. We had an awesome time.

But then the night before he had a bunch of Tyler, the club manager, and he's the man. He had like a box of instant tests, like rapid tests. Yeah. And I took one and I was like, nah. And then I took, I felt like a scratch in my throat. And I took one.

and there was like a hint of a and I remember saying to Katie I went there's like a hint of a line and she goes what the fuck is a hint of a line and I was like I think I'm fine I think I kept saying I think I'm fine and I went to the airport the guy's like you're not going you're not going back yeah so when you got to the airport they would test you there yeah they test you do a rapid test before you got on the plane oh no or not like even before you went to security so you have to go back so I had the same hotel room Like, you know, this was like six in the morning. So I took a cab back to the hotel, went back into my room, called downstairs and was like, can I have this room for four days?

And they were like, yeah. And so then I just stayed in the room. I texted Tyler. I was like, hey, I have COVID. And then he brought me a box of rapid tests and edibles. Yeah, I was, dude. I was just looking out the window at a field being like. Yeah, it sucked.

Oh, that's terrible. And then we drove down to Fargo. and then I flew back. Oh, really? Yeah. So you still had it? No, the day of we left. What's so funny is we were going to go to Fargo

because if I still had it, I had to get back. Katie was working for Apple Plus at the time doing baseball. So she was going to do the Friday game and we had nobody to watch Myrtle. So she was like, hey, we don't have a dog sitter. We don't have anything.

You got to get home. And I was like, all right, well, they're going to smuggle me back in through Fargo. And then, you know, Murphy's Law, of course. the morning I woke up negative test negative test in the car negative test and then yeah and we're at the border which by the way you really man it isn't the winter this was uh should i forget it was cold out it was definitely cold out i did fargo in February in a couple of februaries ago and i'd never been to a city

that was one solid block of ice oh like the sidewalks the buildings where that area is and it just in on the globe. It's very cold. So cold. There's like something about planes cold that people don't understand. No, it goes through the walls. Yeah, there's just like a wind. I have never felt growing up in Colorado, I knew that cold.

I had never felt Chicago cold. Of the wind. Which is the wind mixed with the humidity. Yeah. So it just cuts to your core. I miss cold until you don't, until you feel that. And then you go, I don't ever want to feel that. Yeah.

I fell on the ice walking to my gig and I fell so fast. Yeah. I slipped on the ice so fast that I didn't realize I was falling. I just had fallen. Oh, you woke up. Boom. Just up. I was just like on the ground and I'm like and you couldn't get up really quickly because

everything's ice and I just hear Hong Kong see you at the show. Great first joke. Great opener. We'll see it in a couple. We'll see at the show. And then you're like, maybe. And you come out with a cane all fucked up. Falling in front of people is a thing where it's mortifying when you're little.

And then as you grow up, you learn just laugh when it happens. Right. I was going to, when I was a waiter in Midtown, I was like taking the 6th to 51st Street. And I got off and I had a full hot Dunkin' Donuts coffee. And I was running up the stairs of the subway. My feet slipped. And I just like, boom. And like coffee, whatever.

And I went. And I laughed. And I saw a guy watch me see it. And when I laughed, he laughed. and you're like, all right, this isn't, this isn't as bad as I thought it was. The humiliation of, yeah. But when you go, yeah, that's what someone.

I'm okay. Don't touch me. Maybe we need bring you back to that. I still get it when you're walking down the sidewalk and have to tie your shoe. You just something about. You feel like a child. You go, something about going down into that position. I'm like, someone's going to knock me over.

It's a prey. You feel like prey. Yeah. The second you're, go to the second you put your hands on both shoelaces you're like well I've given up my position anybody could take me

as you do the most delicate thing in the world or you go let me do my little bow my little sweet bow you're just like the only the only saving grace you have is if there's like a fire hydrant or something you can kind of raise it yeah you're still a little ass up I wish I was flexible enough to just

raise my whole leg up and tie it up here I feel like we should bring back gusing and that would help us. The internet is separating us. Shoo tie gusing will bring us together. We'll bring us all back together. If he's wrong by and go, and they go, oh!

Same sex, though. Same sex gusing. I'm not sure when this is going to air. It's probably going to be late October. So that haunted house voice was perfect intro. Welcome. Welcome, Dan Soda. So this will,

we're recording this on the day that Jimmy Kimmel is been canceled. So why don't you... On the day we've lost Jimmy Kimmel. James Kimmel, wrist and peace. Where do you think we are by the time this airs? Who fucking knows, dude?

I don't know. The Saudi Prince is running the FBI. Who fucking knows? I don't know what kind of weird explosion at the flavor factory happened. But it just feels like, there's marshmallows and my marshmallows. You're like, everything is going wrong.

Is Kimmel back on the air? Uh, if we're lucky. Yeah. If we're lucky, if this is, Kimmel's back on the air if we're lucky and the people that said they were about free speech were actually about free speech. Right. That will be the test. That's going to be the real tell.

If Kimmel, we don't know what's happening. I don't know, but just all the people that were like free speech is the most important thing. Yeah. Kimmel will be on the air. The left is canceling everything. Yeah. And now all of a sudden the right is canceling everything.

It's almost like everybody's the same. It's almost. It's almost as if we're all. humans and this is a tough thing and not one side does everything and the other side does nothing when your team yeah when your team is doing well it's great and whoever the first guy that accused the other side of being pedophiles everyone was probably like whoa whoa whoa Steve and he goes no they fuck kids dude I'm serious and they go whoa hey hey and then the other side goes you fuck kids and then that's just where we're at I'm just like no you fuck kids you fucking you go I feel like some of you actually are

fucking kids and you're like getting away with it by all this happening. Yeah. But it just felt like the first guy to do that. He goes, yeah, I don't know, man. They're just, uh, fucking kids. Whoa. Whoa. Don, you didn't have to go that far.

Hey, he goes, I'm serious, dude. I think they fuck kids. Really? Yeah. And then the other side of them getting mad. No, you fuck kids. It's just all like, there's been, it's such a... Hypocracy.

It's so clear. We're in such an unserious point in human civilization. Like anybody living's grandparents. Even if they're still alive, would want to smack the shit out of us. Right. What are you guys doing? You have food delivered to your houses? You got, you're going to have computers.

You can. What are you complaining about? You guys get along. Right, exactly. But it is like the internet's very divisive. There's money in being divisive. Yeah. That's just human history.

Yeah. No, absolutely. And the people that control dividing it are going to make the most amount of money. Yeah. They fucking hate that we, if we get along. Yeah, right, exactly. You just profit off of everybody that's being pissed off. Everything is recorded now.

So if you talk that shit, this is a joke I had that never worked, and you'd appreciate this, the marriage ref. Yes. I said one of my favorite parts of being in a serious long-term relationship is she watches me talk all the shit I never back up. So like, all those like, fuck that guy. He's all like, dude, I saw this clip where he's all like, and then we're at a comedy club. I'm like, well, there he is. And she's like, what the fuck? I have to like watch her face go like, and you go, I know, I was like mad that day.

I don't think I had breakfast. So I was in a bad place. You know what I mean? And I just feel like all of our, now all of it's recorded. So now everybody is like, who you got a pot? Like when they were. I don't know if it matters though. I don't know.

That's the part that's the scariest. The scariest. Because then you go, what's it all for? It's all recorded. Like at the same time that jumps in the UK going something weird. happening over here. You arrested that comedian for talking shit. That's not free speech.

And they got what about Kimmergis? What? Right. Cutting into a snake. About what? About who? Yeah. Never heard of them.

Yeah, low ratings had to cancel. I don't know, man. It's also just impressive how people will immediately bend backwards to argue an opinion they were going against two years ago because it wasn't their side. It wasn't their side. Yeah, that's why it's like, the people I'm, and I, of course, we're late October, I don't know where it is, but the people initially, because we're talking, this is the morning after. The morning after, yeah. The people I've been like, oh, it's like Tucker Carlson has come out and gone like, no, you can't be doing this.

You can't be using your power to silence voices. And you're like, let the dork talk. You know? And you're like, oh, all right. Sometimes he makes sense. Tucker's cooking. And then he's going to be like, you know, then he's going to say some shit where you go, no.

It's like, yeah. He said that? Yeah, I didn't see that. Last night I saw that. And of course, it could be fake. God only knows. Now we got AI, so I don't know what the fuck is fake. I know.

Dude, I remember, do you remember your first AI got you a moment? Yes, can I tell you to you? Yeah, dude, I'll tell you. It's so cringy. Dude, buddy. Mine's, mine's cringy because it was long. During the P. Diddy case, my family was asleep. I came back from the comedy story.

and I opened up my laptop and I was like, what is going on with the Diddy case? And I went on YouTube and I watched a 20 minute, a 20 minute AI generated day in the Diddy case where Keanu Reeves came in. No. And Keanu, come on, support me till it's over. Okay.

I can only get through it if you support me until it's over. You're like, John Wick's taken down Diddy? Stop it. I was like, what? And it was like, Keanu Reeves came in. Diddy's knees started to shake. Keanu went into this heartwarming story about how Diddy brought him to his house and they had a dinner one on one. And he said, do you, I want you to drink my sweat.

And I was like, what did Diddy do to Keanu? That's so funny. And it wasn't until the end when it started repeating itself a little bit. Yeah, where he goes, Kianu then grabbed Diddy's shoulder and you go, this is written like a novel. And I was like, wait a minute. I think this is wrong. I spent 20 minutes watching this. I was almost I almost posted about it

I can't knock you on time because for three days for three days I walked around going this is when before Chicago Pope sweet Pope Francis sweet sweet baby Francis yeah up in heaven with his Lord

Francis there's a picture I was like dude Francis is kind of the shit did you see that picture with him in like that puffy white coat and everyone's like what and I was like, yeah, dude, there's like that picture going around and like Pope Francis in the, that's not real, is it?

And I'm like, no, and I was like, a son of a bitch. God damn it. I've gotten God a couple times. I've gotten God pretty, but now you can start to tell what the voices, the lighting, it's always the lighting is too perfect

and the voicing just off a little. Man, they're close to getting it. Just they're getting closer. And they're close enough where most people will buy it. You know, we're in it and these are like your friends talking or whatever, And you're like, wait a minute. But it might like my mother watching it is like.

Oh, dude, the best one is there's a video of someone filming, showing an AI video of Trump doing a musical performance. And his grandpa thinks it's real. And he's like, Trump's playing the guitar. And the grandpa's like, fuck, yeah, this rips. I think it might just be the video. But when you see it, you go, oh, that's so clearly AI. But if you're older, I'm going to get got. It's going to be funny in 30 years when I have.

have just absolute resin brain and someone's like, yeah, he signed away his money to his dead aunt, who died in 2007. I was like, Karen, good to see you. So I just sign right here and then you get my money. I saw this morning how the head of the Fed, head of the Fed says Trump is ruining the economy. Cool.

And he's talking and it was like, he didn't say any of this. This is just like, you know, when you're doing it at that. They're like getting, they're like gossip. pornography have infiltrated us to the point of decay. And I know I sound, this is like me being an oxymoronic asshole, because I just said people bent backwards to argue. But like, there's too much porn everywhere and there's too much gossip everywhere. Yeah.

That's how they report now. They go, like, see Trump's hand. I don't know. Take a look. Instead of like Walter Cronkite, like, this is the truth. This is how it happened. which obviously was manipulated. We spent hours in journalists and we put it through a fact check.

I sent someone to denang. They might be dead. And now it's like, someone doesn't know how to do concealer. Oh, you catty bitch. Oh, CNN. And they're like, you call that a suit. Melania's hats weird. We'd like to thank the good people at Mint Mobile.

If you're overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is. no, no contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS. Here's why I said yes to making the switch and getting premium wireless for $15 a month. You get to ditch overpriced wireless and they're dropping monthly bills, unexpected overages, and hidden fees. Plans start at $15 a month. If you want clear, high-speed data, unlimited talk and tech. delivered on the nation's largest 5G network MintMobil is for you. Use your phone with any MintMobile plan, your phone with any MintMobile plan,

and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. I did it with an old phone, and they just re-brought it back to life and put MintMobile on it, because they love me. Ready to say yes to saying, no, make the switch at MintMobile.com slash breaking bread. That's MintMobile.com slash breaking bread. A good way to do it. Good way to increase your cellular service. Up front payment of $45 required, equivalent of $15 a month.

Limited time, new customer offer for three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan, taxes and fees extra, cement mobile for details. Today we are sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. If you run a business like I do and you have lots of moving parts, it's nice to hire a giant team of people and walk down the hallway and say good morning to them all and pay them all, or join up with Squarespace and have everything in one spot.

It's almost like having your perfect, perfect business partner. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Head to Squarespace.com slash Papa for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Papa PAPA to save 10% off your first purpose. of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com slash Papa, P-A-P-A for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Papa and to save 10%. It's a good way to support the podcast and grow your business. Thank you, Squarespace. Thanks to the good people at Monarch. Monarch.

Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch, an all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or your phone. And right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year with the code Papa at Monarch.com. If you're like me and you have like some things that come in the mail that you don't understand and you have other things that are just like in a drawer and you have little receipts like underneath maybe your comic books, it's time to act like a grown-up. and get everything into one place.

Monarch is built for people with busy lives or people who think they have busy lives. If you put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use the code Papa at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's good business.

That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with the code Papa, P-A-P-A. Enjoy. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Sick. And where we, it just gets uncomfortable for different reasons. Yeah, absolutely. And being we're talking about AI, I want to share this with you.

Okay. And this is going to make, I think it's going to make you uncomfortable, but also a little joyous because I was just playing around with AI last night. Oh boy. And I was like... Costing the city of Memphis, so much drinking water. And you know, I'm a big fan of yours. Yeah.

I see you as a real talent and a good friend. And I was like, what, what would be a, what would be a cool, uh, biopic that you could do that would, you know, because you're such a good actor. Like, who could you play? You stop it. Yeah. And I put it into AI and it generated a cartoon version of it. Okay.

And it's creepy how good this is. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. Dan Soder as Richard Simmons. Yeah, dude. Dude, I would absolutely sweat to the 80s.

That looks like you in Simmons' body. I wish I had a chest beave like that. Those eyes linger. Come on. Lose it. Polly Shore is going to be like, sorry, bud. That's the role I was born to play. Yeah, dude.

Are you upset how close your face is to Richard Simmons face? So, yeah, I'm not really. You know what? I kind of enjoy it because I go, I knew you would be joyous. Let me tell you where my brain goes immediately. It's not cool. I always, it's probably because

my dad's family died of drugs and alcohol. But I always, whenever I see that, it's not an insult to me because I go, well, he was successful. He was a winner. So I immediately go like,

yeah, I'll take that. It's crazy. Do you want me on a mini tram? Push till you can't push anymore. You got it. You're fat. You're a fat fuck. Mean Richard Simmons.

Ew. Fucking, ew. I would fuck guys, but you grossed me out to the point I don't even want to have sex. Yeah. And I can see you doing like the stuff that we've never seen before. Richard like doing that at home. There he goes. Getting the fuck swing or you're dead to me.

His little servants. When we did, when Netflix did the stand-ups, the first season of the stand-ups, the first season of the stand-ups. They filmed six half hours, and Nate Bargettze and I were both on it, and we filmed it in L.A., and we Airbnb to Airbnb to house, and me, him and Mike Vecchio and all stayed there.

It was in the hills, and we were next to Richard Simmons. We were in the house next to him when all that drama was happening. People said he had disappeared and stuff, so we were on Richard Watch, Simmons Watch, 26th. And you guys appear over the fence?

Yeah, and he's like, get out of air! It was crazy. Did you ever see him? No, because you know the hills, you can't look over the fence because you're like on a cliff and then it's just like a fence. Yeah. And you're like, it's not like the burbs where you can just like peek over. You're like, why did people build houses here?

Aren't there earthquakes? God damn. Why are you hanging off the edge of a cliff? That tells you everything you need to know about Los Angeles. It's just like the ego is so fractured there that they built it on. the side of a mountain. Right. They go like,

well, you can't build a house. You can maybe build one or two houses there and they go, whole community. Yeah. Whole community,

both sides. Yeah. I want it up there. Yeah. Al Pacino wants a house up there. We're going to build it. So we're going to do it.

And the guy that made the slinky. It's always like some crazy rich person. Yeah. The guy who made beats. Yeah. He's up there and he's watching you right now. We all can feel it. His eyes.

You never spend time in L.A.? Very rarely. You didn't move there at any point. No. All New York all the time. Never cared for it. Never cared for it. Never cared for the city.

I went to college in Tucson. Yeah. So I got the whole like hot and flat thing there. Yeah. And then I was kind of like, this sucks. I want seasons. That's specifically what I missed living in Arizona. Yeah, yeah.

Because I missed like right now. How great is it in New York? I know. It's so perfect. The cold goes like this. What are you doing? What are you doing? And then it's still like, I'm going to go outside and it's going to be too hot for longslews.

This morning I was like, I was a little bad bitch. I have my leather jacket. I'm like, I'm my little ice coffee. And I was like, I'm just, I'm just going to work early.

But I love it. There's nothing wrong with pumpkin spice. I love fall. I love winter. I love when winter ends and it starts to thaw. Yeah. And you get that first nice day. I know.

Here's the problem that I have, though. And I know this is for our listeners. I can't stop talking about this to everybody. Okay. But is my New York, L.A. conundrum. But being in L.A., for our,

a good period of time with my kids and stuff. A great place to raise a family. And have a house and have spread out. Backyard, dude. And a backyard. Yeah. The idea of selling all of my possessions and dragging my black lab back to a two bedroom. Yeah.

And just like living back in that. I don't know if I can do it. No, you can't put it. I'm watching it, you know, I've brought up Big Jay's house. But like I'm watching my friends move to Jersey in like upstate. Yeah. Bobby moved upstate. Right.

And you go there and you go, yeah. I want this. I want space. Yeah. But Katie's got, she just started her show here at Sirius on Mad Dog Sports Talk Radio. Listen to it. It's called Fan Service from 12 to 1. And then she's got her podcast that Sirius XM is producing.

And we live off the F train. So what the fuck? Right. Like we're going to leave now. I know. No way. We moved in. I'm not.

joking we moved in the day I left the bonfire really and I was like of course right the train that's three blocks away from us goes under the building where I worked right for eight years I was coming from Queens and then Jersey just being like fighting traffic every day and now we live so I was like when she was like I want to stay here I was like yeah we will but New York City apartment it's like it's so out of control that I don't even know if we will the next time our lease is up oh really yeah they're just going like this is I know this isn't funny yeah This is truly what I believe a big problem in society is,

is people that run companies don't work at the companies. They work at these like venture capitalist firms that own a bunch of things. So they're all these companies are beholden to a guy that is down and fucking Fidei. And they're like, well, you're not knowing how this running. So all these like companies that run stuff, the product is off. Right. And all these apartment complexes are like raising the rent where you're going like, yo, dude, money isn't going up.

Right. So what the fuck? Yeah. How many Chinese, Russian and Saudi billionaires are sending their kids here just to live in these apartments where you're like buying them and keeping them empty. Yeah, I had to do fucking, I live with an Emmy Award winner. I was on seven seasons of a Showtime show. Hey, we're barely paying the rent.

Right. And we're like, I know. Come on, guys. I need you to come out to those theater shows. I know. I got rent to pay. What the fuck are you talking about? I know.

I've been out of the New York loop, so I didn't see the mayorial race coming up. Yeah, yeah. But my daughter's living here. Okay. And, you know, she grew up here as a little kid. And she's like, I'm like, so what's the deal? And she goes, yeah, everyone loves them. Yeah. Mom, Donnie?

And I said, I said, what's the deal? And she goes, oh, just that people could actually afford to live here. And I was like, well? That's what's crazy where you go, fuck the culture war. There literally is one guy going, dude, he's the rant is too damn high guy. Yeah, right, exactly. If the guy would have ditch the gloves, I would have voted for him back then. If he would have taken off those weird fucking handling a piece of art gloves,

I would have been like, yeah, the rent is too damn high because it was too damn high back then. Yeah. So now anybody, you want to win the New York City mayoral race, just go, dude, I'm going to do something about the rent. Yeah, rent's too high. And people are going to go, thank you. Right. Instead, I'm going to go, what's your opinion on trans police officers that compete in the FDNY versus NYPD boxing thing? Because I don't want no guy and there's no girl beating up my lady police officers.

I don't give a shit. Fucking fix the rent, you motherfuckers. I know. When I had my last place here, it went from $5,000. It was a big place. We had my kids. I was on TV. $5,000 in...

Like 2011. By the time we moved to L.A. In two years later, it was, they came to me and said it's now 8,500. Yeah. Yeah, that made me feel something. I'm like hearing up. This is upsetting me. In two years.

Last year they did that to us. First year, they didn't fucking move. And we were like, all right. It's a you know in one of those disaster movies where they go, all right, we're going to be okay. And you go. No, no, no It's like a backdraft You know where you go

No, you open it There's nothing there And you go That thing's gonna fucking chew back out of you And then next year We were Katie's from Boston So we go there for Thanksgiving

And we were up in Boston Going to a Bruins game And we were taking the train To the fleet center Or whatever it's called TD Garden And we are like on the train And Katie goes Oh fuck check your email

And I looked in the building And it was like over 20% up. Wow. And I went in the office and I went. That's like the human. This is what I mean you need people that work there to own it. Yeah.

Because I went to the office and I went, come on. Like I like, and I gave her the speech. I go, listen, I like living here. Yeah. We love everything. We love the location. Yeah. I know for a fact I can go down the street three blocks and there's another apartment building

where I can pay what I was paying for if not the same more. Yeah. And I'll spend that money where I can. I move. I'm not spiteful. Don't make me move. That's what I said. I said, please don't make me move.

And she said, let me talk to him. Let me talk to corporate. Corporate. And corporate was like, We shall give him. Biennue at board of Viarai. Embarque and profite. Embarque and relaxe.

Syrote. Bookiné. Oh, so also. And profite. Via Raille, the voice that we love that we love that we love. 10%. 10%. And so they knocked it.

And so they knocked it down. That's nice. And so we stayed. But now we're worried about this year. How big is your place? Two bedroom, two bath. That's nice. I mean,

that's roomy. In the heart of the city. Do you have a closet? Yeah. Yeah. That's always the funny thing about New York. My daughter just moved and was like, no, we found this place and there's got four bedrooms and everybody can fit in.

It's just great. We got all these beds. We have a, not one closet. We have a dishwasher. You. And we have a laundry? Yeah. Very small, though.

Oh, that little, yeah. Dude, we get mad. Yeah, we get so mad. We go, cool, let's do nine loads today. And it's like, do, do, do, too, oh my God. We put the bathroom rug in there one time. It's like, oh, tank, crank. Sounds like I'm tossing Katie around.

You ever put it? I think that apartment is pretty abusive. I'm like, I'm just fucking cleaning the bathroom rugs. I just put my running shoes in there. Now that you're stand up, you're in such a good place with it. Yeah. Has it made you feel like, uh, acting shmacting? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So funny to take meetings there where I'm like, I don't give a fuck about acting. Right. I mean, I'll do it. I like doing it. I like the act of it.

Yeah. I don't want to pursue it. No, exactly. I'm not like, I mean, you know, you went through the height of it, but like pilot season, miss me with that. Here's a CBS show about a guy that can't get it together. But he's got to because,

who la. And you walk in and there's 12. guys that look like you trying to get it. Yeah, they go, fuck me. No, cartoons and shit my friends make. Yeah, cartoons. That's all I want to do. I just want to do voiceovers and then like, you know, if Shane has a role for me on

tires, fuck yeah. If like someone else, like if you know, Stavi makes something and he tosses me something, but I'm not like, there are actually, you know what? I'm talking a lot of shit, but there is stuff that like I specifically told my agents I was like, hey, if there's something like awesome, I would love to audition for it. Just off the off case that like, like, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are doing a movie. It's already, they're already filmed it with about, they're producing it. So it's not their movie.

Okay. But it's about slavery and actors like at this place. And it's like a story about the guy that plays a slavery and actor. Really funny. Very, very funny. I read only like three scenes, but I like, that was the one thing that I was like, I want to audition for this. I will be an extra in this movie. Right.

Like, I just want to be a part of it. And I got to audition for the James Gunn Superman. Right. The role that Beck Bennett got, which he was great in. Which was what? At The Daily Planet being like the sports reporter that gives Clark Kenna a tough time. Yeah, yeah. But Beck Bennett was like perfect casting.

Yeah, yeah. So shit like that, like shit where I'm like, oh. It's really good. And then they know like any cartoon. Like any, like kids cartoons, regular cartoons. Yeah, I know. Because that's what I want to do. Man, I thought I had one the other day.

Yeah. It was for Amazon. And it was just a voiceover thing about just like a, kind of like a folksy commentary about the action that was happening in this Amazon and holiday commercial. Oh, fun. And I was like the like the Christmas story. Yeah. Like that. And I was like, oh.

You got a great voice. They obviously came to me for a reason. We want to tell them Papa like. And nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. That's the one that hurts.

That's the one that hurts is sometimes where I've auditioned for looking for a Dan Soder type and not got it I swear to you on a voiceover thing where I go hey, it's me It's Dan, you're welcome and then they go no Okay It's like I got to do an episode of robot chicken and that was like You don't want to seem too desperate, but at the end of the recording session I'm like I'm seriously available anytime I will live here I don't need money I don't need money.

I do stand up. Please, please let me do a voiceover for your fucking shit. Yeah, I love it. Have you been in like a big Pixar kind of a thing? No, I haven't done any voiceover for movies.

I've done like Paradise PD on Netflix, robot chicken, a bunch of other random shit. Yeah. But I just like doing it. Yeah, I think it's very fun. And cartoons are very fun.

I know, I know. I never know though, like do you ever get them and you're like, do they want me to just be, my voice because you're such a distinct voice or do I, they want me to character it up.

I'll do both. Because sometimes I'll do a character and they go, what are you doing? Yeah, right, exactly. It's all I always feel. Oh shit. We didn't come to you to be Spongebob. Talk like you talk. Sorry about that.

I thought you guys really wanted. What's going on guys? Well, okay. They're like, stop doing that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, man. I enjoy doing like, I don't think I like to do impressions, but what I like to do is like fuck around with them more than anything.

So I'm not a really guy that you can go like, hey, we're looking for you to do this impression. Right, right. It's like if I have fun doing the voice, I want to make jokes as the voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what makes me laugh. Right. You know, like anything where I can go like, I can just fuck around. I was on Mike Feeney's podcast and we were talking about Sam Elliott doing those commercials with Rob Grankowski.

But like they were their roommates. And it's just like him living with a guy with CTE being like, man, I don't know if you should be drunk. drive and rob. I get a little nervous. Sometimes I come downstairs and rob well. He's at the refrigerator. It's clear he's been standing there for about 30 minutes wetting himself. But yeah,

there'll be like stuff where I like to fuck around. And you can just go all day long with it. Yeah. That was weird like that. It was just like, I don't fuck around like that. Right, right. But acting is so hard.

That's also the thing that people don't bring up. It's like, you've done it. I mean, you've been in fucking big ass shit. Yeah. It's, uh, you see like, when you see real actors. You're in a movie with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon.

Right. You're watching them act. You go, oh. Yeah. This is acting. Exactly. I watched Damien Lewis on Billions do so many different scenes, different ways that I went, oh. Yeah.

Fuck, Maggie Siff, too. He's a real actor. Yeah, Maggie Siff would come in and like have a scene where she would, she would like do it like this. And you'd be like, great, I think we got it. I'd be like, that was incredible. And then they're like, we're going to do two more. Or she'd be like, can I get another one and do it in a different way? Well, that was even better.

And then I'm like, I just did the same thing. I just did the same thing four times in a row. Do I suck? Can I be in the scene and just watch the scene? Dude, it was crazy. There was, early on, there was an episode of Billions directed by John Singleton. And it was just the scene was, I was in Maggie Siff's office, and Damien Lewis comes and needs to talk to her. So he kicks me out.

Uh-huh. But that was the scene. And it's John Singleton directing, and it's me. And Maggie Sift and Damien Lewis, and we're doing this. And then they're doing all the coverage. And there's a moment where there's just like broke. And those three are talking. And I had this feeling of like, what am I doing?

Like, I probably should leave here. Do they know I'm here? It was like one of those things you were like, I don't think they know I'm here. Not in an ego way in a total like, I should leave. I should probably get going. It was crazy. I know. Whenever they talk about what's your motivation, it's like not to get fired. To not, to remember what they wrote.

Because the writing on the billions was so meticulous that you were like, and you were like saying shit that I didn't understand. Like they were just straight up like, it's like when you find out that Ace of Bass did their entire album phonetically. Yeah. Like they didn't know English. Oh really? They just sang the songs.

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, that's impressive. But that's how I would say I act. Right. I act the way Ace of Bass sings English. I saw the sign I did a play when I was in college where I had to play a doctor

and and it like had to say all the terms and stuff I had no idea what it was and wear a white coat and like come out and do the thing and the whole play I was like in my head I was talking to the audience going

I know I know I'm so far from a doctor well you can feel like that in stand up sometimes where you're like if the show is weird you in your head you're going I know I know and that's why I've learned more and more just to go like is it weird in here just to say it

they go it is you can't do that in a play you can't be the doctor and go and it's weird and they're like stay with me guys stay with me guys don't worry I'm about to diagnose this guy you're not going to like what you hear when he has

it's bad it gets real bad yeah the place is going to get real sad but yeah I don't know I think acting is something that I But you are good at it. You get there. I appreciate it. So are you.

Yeah. I think comics are, this is what Damien, when early on, Damien came out and saw me at the cellar, which is so funny because you see how, which comedians are just absolute ass kissers. Uh-huh. Because it's like guys that I'm not close with them, I'm not going to name names. I will off air. But I'm not going to name names, but there was a comic in from L.A., who I kind of know. Uh-huh.

But we're not. Yeah. This is the extent of our conversation at the cellar. How's the crap? they're good, they're really good. And you're like, great. Good seeing you. That's truly all of our interactions.

So Liz texts me and she's like, your boyfriend's here. And I'm like, what the fuck you mean my boyfriend's here? And she's like, I don't know, your buddy's sitting at the bar drinking a beer. And I'm like, Liz, what the fuck? I was walking from another spot. I'm like, what are you talking about?

And she's like, Damien. And I was like, oh, shit. Because we were on set that day. And I was like, oh, I got a set at the cellar at 930. He's like, you're doing a show tonight? And I was like, yeah, do shows overnight. And he's like, oh, I'll come and hang out. So you go, sure, I'll see you there.

So when she texted me that, I was like, this motherfucker actually showed up. I was with Gary Veter. And we, like, walked in, and he's chilling at the bar, just like a hat on drinking a beer. Yeah. And it was so funny watching that comic from L.A. specifically, but other comics being like, hey, Dan, how's it going? And you're like, good. What's up? And they're like, yeah, man, that crowd down there, I was like, man, these guys aren't going to be good.

But then they were good. And so you're working on new stuff. You know, what the fuck are you talking about? Why am I your best friend right now? This is crazy. Because it was like a light switch. Because then when Damien wasn't there, we've never talked like that sense. But it was like, but he went and watched the set.

And afterwards we're like, we're walking around the West Village. And I was like, should I take an acting class? And he was like, you, he's like, do you want to be an actor? And I was like, kind of. Like not serious. And he was like, the no. He's like, because you're comedians. He's like, you guys perform every night.

Right. So you perform your bits. So you're performing lines. Right. Because you have lines. You write lines and then you work on them. Yeah. And then you have to say them right.

So just do that. Just keep doing that. Yeah. And he's like, don't bring someone into fuck with your process. Right. And then now you're doing it different because you're like, he's like, and that was the best advice. That's great advice. Just stay the course.

Yeah. It was a Brit to tell me that. Yeah. When going through hell, keep going. But it was like. That is good to hear. Yeah. And it was like, oh, okay.

And it helped. It helped me on the show because then I went, well, I'm not swinging for home runs. Right, right. Just fucking just do it. Yeah. And then it got me through seven seasons and eight years of medical insurance. Yeah. And I'm coming back, SAG.

You could try to kick me off, but I'm going to get that insurance. Because that dental was fucking sweet. Oh, man. Have you ever had Writers Guild? No. But brother. Make SAG look like a child doctor. Oh, WGA.

I fucking need you. I'll fucking strike for you. They come to you and just like, get your teeth checked. You want to go to go to Turkey and get a scan? Get more hair. You go, what are you doing to me? You should get a BBL. You go, I've always thought I needed a big butt.

You want a body, a full body scan just for fun? Just for funsies? We got a whole tube that can do it. It's really good. Yeah, I just, my sag just ran out and so I'm on, I'm on the COBA. Yeah, the two grand whatever. Oh, fuck, I wish. Oh, really?

Yeah, dude, it's so like, being engaged right now with incredible. credible health insurance. You just go, let's just go get married, please, for the insurance cost. Yeah. I'm going to, and they're like, oh, you guys are just dying to get married. You go, if we are dying, we're going to need the insurance. Yeah, I, but with billions in acting, it really became a thing. And I'm sure you saw it after you did, like the candelabra.

You do it, and then you, like, have the itch to go back and do stand-up. Yeah. And especially leaving the bonfire and leaving billions around the same time. and just being able to do stand-up, I love it. It's so light. I love it. I love it. I have fun.

I know. I'm, like, excited about shows. When you work on stuff all week and you're making calls and you're doing whatever shows and then you get your little wheelie bag and you just head off and it's like, I can't deal with any of that right now. It's going to do shows. Oh, you feel so light. And it's also, you know, I've used this analogy before, but it really is true.

It was like doing the bonfire and then going to do stand-up felt like I was on the cross-country team and then I went to football practice where everyone's like you're tired you're like I just ran 6.7 miles give me credit I'm fucking tired dude I'm sorry I don't want to do calisthenics with you guys I'm sorry but then now I'm just like oh I have all the energy comedic yeah right exactly yeah where they're like

and you know people are like oh you left a radio show to do a podcast you yeah yeah yeah I miss Jay I miss the crew I missed the fans but but it's good and that was a good run that's a long time and also a long time With friendship intact. Yeah. Tell me to me, you and fortune are going to hate each other. Yeah, no, we don't like each other now.

You're in fortune going to kill each other. No, but it is a thing where I was aware of that. Yeah. Because the whole genesis of the show was us having fun together. Right. So if we can't have fun together anymore, what the fuck would we be doing a show for? Yeah, and you watch some shows, you know. Oh, my God.

They just devour each other. Yeah. And there is the arc where they come back where you go, oh, that's fun. But that's where you go, you're all scarred up, though. Yeah, but I didn't forget what you guys said back there about each other. Why does this seem kind of bitter? But it was just a great way to leave, and that's why it's fun to come back here. I like coming back here and management going like, hey, what are you doing?

I've been sitting in my old chair. Yeah, it's like when you graduated and visit a school. The desks look so small. You're not in charge of me anymore. Yeah, I do. I walk around the halls being like, I'll, the fuck, I can leave whenever I want. Yeah. Well, thanks for making time.

Dude, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. It was nice to fit it in on my way to Winnipeg. Oh, my God. Have fun. Yeah. You know, tell the Tim Horton's up there, I said, hello. I will.

Lovely breakfast sandwich that I had every day I had COVID. And I'm not going to test before I come back. Don't test. What is this? 2022? Get nuts. You're the best. Yeah, thanks, Tom.

Thanks for having me. Thank you for the bread. Don't cut the camera. Thank you for the bread. When you were little, you had braced some of course of recreat, always in trying to negotiate, exchanging these cards of hockey,

these bonhom, these bracelets, even des colations. You know that each thing has a value, well, before to have been

to be able to change. Negoti-tit-T-Tor T-D you can't to renewing with your instinct of

negotiation. With, without operation gratuit, no amount of minimum and no free mensuel.

You're made for negotiate, and the appellate T-D is made for you help you. Telecharge it right now.