Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 295 - Ian Edwards

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

This week, Ian Edwards joins us at the table! He and Tom talk all about the evolution of comedy, proper airplane etiquette, and of course, Jamaican houses. Enjoy! Check out https://www.squarespace.co...m/PAPA to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code PAPA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:57 Oh, shit. I saw my pilot yesterday. My pilot yesterday. I'm waiting to go on and, you know, I see the pilot. He stops at the Wetzel's Pretzels. And he got a big bag of Wetzel's pretzels. That should be illegal. Is your thought, this guy is just happy and enjoying his day, so he's going to be a good pilot?
Starting point is 00:01:21 Or are you thinking, this guy doesn't give a shit anymore? This guy's sad. He's eating Wetzel's pretzels at 7. am, I'm in trouble with him behind the wheel. I'll be like, sir, no inflammatory foods while you're flying. All right. This is not the time to have a heart clog. Right.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Yeah. I don't want to have to use a co-pilot. We want you to make this all the way through. Yeah, you should not be. You should care more about your life than of eating wetsal pretzels. And if you don't care about your life, everybody else is. It's breaking bread Thank you for being here
Starting point is 00:02:00 Thanks to randomly hit me up because I was going to hit you up too Yeah? Yeah because I just dropped a special I was like I need to get on some podcasts Oh that's amazing Because I didn't even know you You didn't know It'd come out no sure
Starting point is 00:02:11 I was just like where's the hell is Ian And then I heard from your people That you wanted to make sure that You cleared the air with this Epstein thing I would never want to clear the air with the Epstein thing My people are liars I stand on it. Whatever, whatever it is, I stand on it.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Whatever it is, who's ever saying whatever? I'm going to stay behind it. Yeah. It's almost too fast and furious with it all coming out of like, it's, the tap dancing of every single person in Washington is like, when it got to the point of,
Starting point is 00:02:52 what is 15 really matter? I was like, we're really in a new territory. I know, because I saw some posts like that. But this morning, what's the leader of the... Saudi? Of the House, the Republican guy. Oh, Johnson. My Johnson.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Like, I felt I came from the airport this morning, and I was like, I got an hour to sleep before I can get ready to come here. So I always YouTube it, and they were live in the vote for the thing. Oh, really? To say, yeah, we're going to let the files free. And he was like, you know, why are they doing it now? Like, of course we're going to say yes. And you can have it.
Starting point is 00:03:28 And it's like acting like, then you should have just did it. Then he's like blaming the Democrats for not releasing it when they had it. Right. And it's like, so why didn't you release it when you could? And still haven't done it. Yeah. And still haven't done it. You could do it right now.
Starting point is 00:03:51 And I'm on nobody's side. Yeah. That's a good question for them, but it's also a good question for you. Yeah, right, exactly. There's a mic in your face. There's cameras on you. Yeah, completely creepery. You always have amazing material on it.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Thank you. And always really, really current. Your special is called Untitled. Yes, untitled. And it's on YouTube. And you don't want to promote it, right? Because all the proceeds go to victims of the five. not to you.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Right. I still. That's why I want to promote it. Oh. That's the only reason why people will watch it. Oh. I was like, well, I can see why he doesn't want to talk about it. He's not getting any of the money.
Starting point is 00:04:35 It's all going to fire victims in Los Angeles. Yeah, get that money to the people of Los Angeles. Now I feel torn because I grew up in Jamaica and there was a hurricane in Jamaica. So I like, so do I steal this money from the rich people in the palisades and give it to the poorer people in Jamaica? but also Altadina people. I guess you're going to have to come out with another special. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll just, like, donate each special money to a charity.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Yeah, there's always something going on. There's always, unfortunately, there's always something going to happen. Yeah. I was going from the airport in Louisville yesterday, and I noticed there was a big flag. The flag was at half-mast, and it used to be that the flag would be at half-mast when something major happened.
Starting point is 00:05:20 some big tragedy. I don't think I've seen the flag at full mast in six years. It's constantly. It's always a half mass. It's always at half mass now. Why? It's a half mass now in Washington because the file's about to come out. It's going to completely lower it.
Starting point is 00:05:40 The file's about to drop. How about no flag right now? Yeah. That's hilarious. The joke that, and I've told you this before, but the joke that I still kind of quote to people and have butchered and mix up is your Michael Jackson documentary joke, which was all the people that can't listen to Michael Jackson anymore. After they looked at that documentary.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Yeah, they're a piece of shit. They're a piece of shit, right, if they listen to his music after watching that documentary. And your line is... I can always listen to Michael Jackson because I'll never watch this documentary. Did I do it right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah, because I don't even do the joke anymore.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Yeah. I did it on the special because I'd never done it on anything. Uh-huh. So I threw it in a – but I haven't done it in a minute. But yeah. So I was like, damn, I'm like, this sounds right. And you just nailed it. Gotta be recorded.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It really is so great. I was talking to somebody and they're like, oh, we are always playing Michael Jackson in our house. Yeah, people don't give a dance. Well, the music is so great. It makes you so happy. It transcends. I'm not going to finish that.
Starting point is 00:07:12 But you know what it transcends. And, you know, it depends on what you believe. Yeah, it's very tricky. You're special great. I mean, I don't think I've seen one from the story that look that good. You know Jason Katz? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:29 So he's from New York and he shoots a bunch of specials. And they came out and they brought like a bunch of cameras, got stuff from all angles. This is one as a straight ass shot. If you were just, you know, shooting me from the back. Yeah. They shot the ceiling. And they, yeah. People say look good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Two shows? Two shows. I had two shows. I was there for the weekend in August. So did a practice run on Friday with those two shows and shot the two shows on Saturday. Oh, nice. And they still had to do the Sunday show. That's exhausting. That's exhausting.
Starting point is 00:08:05 So after all the cameras roll out. Yeah, yeah. And you just go. Can I go? No, you got another show. You're a show on Sunday. Yeah. But I love La Jolla, though.
Starting point is 00:08:14 And, yeah, it was. is dope. Yeah, it looked really great. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. Thanks. And now what are you going to do? You're going to just kind of do that act for the rest of time and who cares if people saw it? No, I was just, I just landed back from Austin this morning. I was just there for the weekend. So I got like, I would say half and half of new and old. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, you've done the process where, like, you become an open micer again because you just shot a special. Yeah. So you don't have any, you can't rely on that material anymore. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Because even though everybody hasn't seen it, your mind tells you they have. So you have to build another hour. So I'm in that mode. So like, you know, I can tell by the views of the special on YouTube that everybody in the world hasn't seen it yet. Yeah, exactly. But you can't tell my mind that when I go in front of a crowd. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:09:08 I've definitely seen this. But if you just were to tell your mind to shut up for a minute and then do a joke, even older, even from like an older special, it would crush. Yeah, it would crush. It would crush. And most of those people haven't seen it. And the ones who have who are your fans probably would like to see it. I know.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Yeah, it's like... It is a weird thing. It is a weird thing. It's a shame comedy is not like music. And I'm glad it's not. But sometimes you wish it was. Yeah, that you could just go out and do it. I was watch, I did a thing in New York.
Starting point is 00:09:39 And they had, who's the guy from Hamilton, Leslie Odom? Is that the name? And he played Washington in Hamilton. So he has to go and sing that song. Leslie Odom Jr. He has to go and an amazing talent. Incredible. But you could tell he's over this song.
Starting point is 00:10:04 But it's fun in his life. But it's funding his life. He was asked there because of doing this. And it made me feel for him even more than like a band. There's like a band, you know, you'll have like six hits. And they're like, all right, and we'll throw this one in. He's really, they're just hammering them with that one song. Until he's sick of it.
Starting point is 00:10:27 You know what's funny about some bands? It's like there are some artists who have less hits and more impact. Like their legend as a band or a performer or their status is higher than people have put in more work. And Chuppie Chekker was like, how many people, like, you know how long Chucky Chekker, Chubby Chekker was famous with the twist? Yeah. And he wasn't the only one that did the twist. Right.
Starting point is 00:10:56 But it was his. But it was his. But I've seen like five hit ones just disappear. So there's like, there's a group of people. Yeah. So whatever reason. All you just need is one song. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:07 And you'll get the respect to somebody with three albums. Yeah. It's wild. And then somebody with three albums, the fourth one fails are like, yeah. Yeah, they lost it. They lost it. Right, exactly. I don't know. What determines that? Yeah, it is a weird thing. That whole thing of just the affection that people have for anybody is very unknowable. Right. You know what I mean? I feel like you have that affection, though. No. People hate.
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Starting point is 00:13:23 but I'm not talking about your family I'm just talking about oh oh yeah comedy fans like me yeah yeah yeah well I really
Starting point is 00:13:38 I am of the school of thought if you made something anything that I really loved. And even if you go maybe a little further, like a couple things that I really love, whatever you turn out, I'm going to turn up for. Oh, yeah? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:13:55 Yeah, like the Cohen brothers, right? They made so many great movies. And I just hooked into them young, like Blood Simple and Miller's Crossing. Oh, okay. And I was just like, these guys are great. I love what they do. and whatever they put out, I'm going to give it a watch.
Starting point is 00:14:16 And if I don't love it, I'm not going to abandon them. Because they're just such great artists that I fell in love with. And I'm like that with musicians. And yeah, I just, I feel like if you can make anything, it's a miracle. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, and I'm with John that. There's some people I just rock with, no.
Starting point is 00:14:38 And I, you know, like, just on the coin. Like Dolly Parton. Of course. Like your love for Dolly Parton. Like nobody's going to sway that. Yeah, no. You know how many times I've been to Dollyland? Sometimes I didn't even want to go.
Starting point is 00:14:54 But I'm in the state. But I'm in there. I'm in the state. I'm two states away. I'm like, just cross over and get there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, get one of those churros. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:07 But I never. I never, I tried to get into the Cohn brothers because they, I remember Miller's Crossing. Yeah. I did like Miller's Crossing. Yeah. I remember the end of it. Mm-hmm. And is that when they killed John Tatour at the end?
Starting point is 00:15:22 Yeah. And I was like, you know why I like that movie? Because the villain got what they, normally when they kill a bad guy in the movie, there's a moment and then they kill him. Right. He, like, I fucked. He realizes he fucked up. He pleads. And a killer.
Starting point is 00:15:39 But in this one, he pleaded. Like, we got to see a decent amount of him regretting being a fucked-the-person throughout the whole movie. Right. Like, I like to see him beg the way he made and, like, punished other people. Like, when villains kill people in the movie, they take their time. They torture the person and murder. And then when they get died at the end, we run out of film. Just kill them.
Starting point is 00:16:05 You know what I want to see this motherfucker suffer. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I saw a clip last night. I was watching Turner Classic movies. And there's an old film called M for Murder. I remember. And it's black and white. It's in German, I think. And young Peter Lorry is the bad guy. You remember Peter Lorry? It was the guy who talks like this. And he's in all the old movies. He's very menacing. And he's kind of young. He's even kind of chubby. and what you said, though, he horrible. He killed innocent children. And the whole town is trying to get him.
Starting point is 00:16:48 And they get him and they bring him into this basement. And he is faced by the whole town. This powerful scene where the whole sound is, the whole town is sitting there waiting and it's silent and the judgment. And he, without anybody really prodding him, breaks down and starts explaining this demon that he has in him. And he is just, you can see the sickness. Damn, I'm feeling it now.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Oh, yeah, of what's making him do this. It's so impactful. That's gratifying. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's like, don't just deliver the demise of the victim. Like, let's see, like, make it a decent part of the third act. Like this is how we get off, you know? Like when they just kill a villain like that, it's like, it's like a woman about to orgasm and you pull out.
Starting point is 00:17:44 She may finish orgasm or she may not, you know. Or it's just for us, it's like we have to pull out. You're done, so we're done. Yeah. So everybody's done. I want to see that person suffer. Yeah. Yeah. No, the Miller's Crossing, my favorite was, I forget the actor, and he just passed. He was kind of the chubby guy. And he's like, quit giving me the high hat. And he's like, he's yelling and he's just all filled with emotion. His son's there. And he's like slapping him. Don't do that in front of my friend. Why just my, quit giving me the high hat. He's being disrespected. And for some reason, I don't even know. I've never heard the phrase before or since.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Quick giving me the high hat. Are you giving me the high hat? That's funny. I like that. Like, oh, yeah. We should bring that back. I know. Yeah, I want to bring back phonies from Catcher in a Rye, but I keep forgetting to use it. What is it? Phonies. Oh, phonies, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Yeah. I haven't read Catcher in a Rye in a bit. Yeah, I had to, like, I just read it like maybe like five years ago. I was like, I keep hearing about this book. That I've been telling people I read. Yeah, yeah. Somebody quizzed me on it. Yeah. So I was like, I better read this in case this person asks me this question again.
Starting point is 00:19:03 It is weird. Like when that book comes out and for the first time you're seeing like the inner workings of somebody who's struggling and questioning and calling all these people phonies and there's these moments. I watched Psycho recently. And like these movies and these things come out where they're starting to talk about the mental decay of bad guys. starting to go into the dark side of humanity. It really, those, that book, these films, they kind of opened up what now is like, oh, like you can't show me more darkness. Right. It's like commonplace. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:44 To see that much darkness. You made me realize how long this stuff has been going on. Like we feel like all this stuff is new. But they were doing that stuff during black and white movie days. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. which is pretty bananas.
Starting point is 00:19:59 It's pretty insane. Yeah. What's, yeah, what's even more insane is like you look at, you look at stuff like just the Bible or Shakespeare. And you realize, oh, human beings, everything, all our struggles, all of our mental stuff, all of our anxiety, all of our hopes. Like the things that make us human, that literally has not changed since the time when people were walking around in sandals and. the dirt. You know what I mean? Like we have like there's been no progression on what it is to be a human technologically. Yeah, like tech has changed. Tech is, yeah. But we, you're still the guy, like the person, the two guys who were just hanging out on and talking centuries ago are really truly no different
Starting point is 00:20:47 than we are emotionally. Right. And we just wash our hands and we have supermarkets. Right. I'm wearing a belt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got pants on. Like, every time, it's funny. Like, a homeless person now. Yeah. Was probably middle class back then. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Yeah. You know what I mean? Because how many people had a place. Yeah. Anyway. Right. You know what I mean? Everybody outside.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Or had a cart full of clothes. Right. Yeah. You didn't have nothing back then. You didn't have nothing. You had zero. Yeah, zero. Literally zero.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Naked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. a guy with a car and a tent is like, wow, he would have been making his way. The leader of a group of people back, like if you go away back, the leader of a group of people like got to sleep in the middle of the group of people outside, probably. And he was the king, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:21:47 Have you heard from family back in Jamaica? Last time I spoke to my mom's, she was like, she spoke to my uncle when they were in the eye of the storm. Whoa. But then... What kind of place did he have? It's still there. Like, it hit like the country part of Jamaica.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Okay. Like, like, that one end of the island. I can't, like, picture the island right now. But it was a part that I didn't go to a lot. St. Elizabeth, I think, but it's like a country part. So I've been watching some videos, and I got to figure out a way how to help soon. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:26 So I got to shoot a special real fast. Yeah, man, I know. But my family's fine, like immediate family down there, cousins or uncles and stuff are fine. Right. It's amazing to, like, when they show the storm coming and you see the structures that some people are living in. And you're like, a heavy rain is going to be a problem. Yeah, yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:22:48 Like, if the wind is kind of windy, like these people could be in trouble and knowing the impact of what those storms are. Yeah, because growing up in, like, when I grew up in, like, when I grew up, Jamaica we the one of the houses like my grandfather's house that my father and his brothers and them grew up in that shit was on stilts like the house was never like on the ground it was like it was on these blocks so that there was like flooding room right you know what I mean yeah so that the house would never get flooded like if there was a big storm or a big rain so a lot of houses were like that but then there were people there was this place called Captcha Land that was like right behind us and it was like nobody owned it so then people just
Starting point is 00:23:35 build like homes out of whatever they could right on that land so those are the those are the those are the cribs like you're describing yeah and people go through seasons of rain storms or sun just in those places it is such a beautiful place it is such a magical gorgeous place it's amazing that a place could be so beautiful. A lot of this in the Caribbean and stuff where economically it never gets going. Like the, right? Yeah, some countries are stuck like that.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Like there's, there's, there's, it's just a lot of, like, it's a lot of shit going on. There's like battles with like bigger countries. There's first world countries that, there's first world countries that kind of like manipulate and take the resources out of like third world countries. You know? So sometimes when immigrants come here, they're just trying to get the resources back that America took. I'm going to go use it here.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You wouldn't let me use it there. Right. I'm going to go use this oil here where it ended up. I'm just falling in our country's oil, not that Jamaica's oil, but whatever. we have right you know and then there's a beautiful part like that's for you know for tourist and stuff and then where i grew up i grew up like kind of like in the middle like it was country but it was beautiful i didn't even know well the last i went back my cousin this is how jamaica is my cousin's building a house but he's building like a mansion and he's been building it for 10 years
Starting point is 00:25:24 So then the only thing that's complete, it's a two-story house. So the only thing that's completed and has full plumbing is his bedroom and his bathroom. Everything around it is unbuilt. It's like unpainted blocks. And then he has a stairwell with no, that's out, it's all outside. It doesn't go anywhere. It goes up. There's a roof where you could see like the ocean.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Right. But if you drove by, you wouldn't think anybody lived in there. His room is like done up. His bathroom is done up. But you can walk into the grounds of the house and it's unfinished. I don't even know how to describe it. Yeah. But why?
Starting point is 00:26:13 Why is it taking 10 years? Because he hasn't got all the money to finish it. Right. He just has the plan. He just has the plan. And they started people in Jamaica start building houses. This house is, we used to pass this house. We used to hang out in this one house that had all the walls and a roof and that's it.
Starting point is 00:26:31 And that was our clubhouse. But that was somebody's house. But it was right across from the soccer pitch. So when it rained and we just wait over there for it to stop raining. Then they would just smoke weed in there. It was like, we had this house that. And then once in a, when then one month randomly, some people come and like put some more walls up.
Starting point is 00:26:56 All of a sudden. And then disappear for five years. Is it corruption in these places at a certain point? Like is, you know, all I know, I know nothing of the politics, but I just know from Bob Marley. It was corruption 100%. And I don't think Jamaica has a good tax structure either, like to like get money to like,
Starting point is 00:27:18 but then if we did, then there'd be more corruption. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, the forces pocketing it instead of going to the people. Yeah, we got outside forces working against us when we got inside force. And they're like, there's countries like in Africa where they got so much like natural resources and they're not reap. Like the Sudan, like it's like they're so wealthy. Even Venezuela's like mad that have like the largest oil deposits probably.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Yeah. And it's like everything is just, we got straight and all this shit out, Tom. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Give me a problem. Give me a problem. I got you.
Starting point is 00:27:55 I can solve it. All right. No more hurricanes. How we can refix that? No more hurricanes? Yeah. Like stop them actually from starting? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Hmm. All right. I think we're going to have to get more boats. Get more boats. Yeah, get more boats. Because a lot of people don't realize that if you, like, if you ever go to a marina, they're all clumped together and parked right there. Where if you were to spread them around the island and go out like 10 miles and everybody gets their own parking space, but in a U, it doesn't give the storm enough momentum, it hits the boats and then we'll dissipate.
Starting point is 00:28:35 Slows them down. Yeah. Oh, so like a wall. Like a wall of boats. Because how many times you go to a marina and nobody's on their boat? That is true. Right? So we're going to build a wall against hurricanes.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Yeah. Because it's momentum. Like it builds, but if you get in the way of it early, it kind of like slows it down. All right. Next. Next. Next is I landed this morning. Where were you?
Starting point is 00:29:02 Like coming from Austin. Oh, right. But even in the morning when I was at Austin, I had early morning flights. The 7 a.m.? The 7 a.m. Yeah. Like I see people like drinking coffee. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yes. To get on a flight. I love where we're going. going. I'm like, why? Are you flying the plane? Go to sleep. Right. Like, like, if you're in an airport in the morning to get on a flight, I know you're tired. I know you woke up early. Yeah. Like, why are you continuing your morning ritual? Just because you're up. Just because you're up. I'm with you, 100%. Uh, I just took the 7 a.m. from Louisville. And I walked in and the line at Starbucks. Yeah. Bro. Is a mile long.
Starting point is 00:29:48 And it's like, we all did this. We all, to be here right now, everybody had four something set on their phone. Yes. For something. Yeah. The anticipation of that for something means that whenever you went to bed, it's fitful because you know you're not supposed to get up at four,
Starting point is 00:30:09 so you're waking up every hour. So you've had horrible sleep. Right. Then you got up at four, got your ass to the airport, you've gone through security. you should just be stumped you should just be a zombie yes get on the plane and pass out yes those same people who are getting the coffee are going to be the ones who leave their windows open when we take off yes yes yes yes yes and let the morning light you son of a bitch yeah and they
Starting point is 00:30:44 have and i always want to if i had if i had any kind of curse courage. I would stand up and lean over this guy who was literally across the aisle for me yesterday and say, sir, can I point something out? You're the only window that's open. Everybody else is tired. Everyone else wants to go to sleep. I know you have the newspaper out, but there's a little light. Shut your window. Right. Because I don't think, do you think they're aware that they're the only window open? And they're like, screw it. I just like the day. Sometimes I even feel like the stewardess over the intercom request that everybody closed.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Like I've heard that and that's a good call. Yeah, that's a real good call. And everybody doesn't. And so you never. And there's nothing brighter than that light. And you're not like looking. I get it. Some people haven't, you know, you don't fly a lot.
Starting point is 00:31:35 You're like, I'm in the sky. Look at how small the houses are. You can't see anything. It's just white light. Right. Oh, I want to kill them. Yeah. It's like, go to sleep.
Starting point is 00:31:48 If you're not the pilot, go to fucking sleep. And why are you eating a full breakfast before you get on the... You're going to shit in the toilet. You want to shit on a plane? You want a shit on a plane? Who wants a shit on a plane? Nobody. So why are you eating?
Starting point is 00:32:02 Can I admit something to you? Sorry to be gross. I baked you this bread. I'm going to get that out of the way. It just came out of the oven. You're going to take it home. It smells great. All right, good.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Now that we're not eating, I can tell you. I've been a comedian for 30 years I've been on tour for most of that travel a ton as you do I have never pooped on a plane bro, bro until we're working
Starting point is 00:32:33 until about three weeks ago but I'll still give you props for that one poop I'll still give you props for that I'm not I wasn't fighting it right my body's just like no my body's kind of like that too bro no yeah until we get home yeah are we gonna sit on any yeah i mean i'm one who respects women invariably but when i had to go poop on that plane my respect for women went up even more i can't believe i've never seen the door i've never like
Starting point is 00:33:06 been in that position where you're looking that way oh looking at the door looking at the door and I'm not in the sink, squatting, trying to not well. Oh, my God. It was a nightmare. I hope it never happens again. But these people, the guy next to me, he, I didn't, I wasn't mad at him, but I was kind of mad at him. I just went out. I was deep, deep sleep.
Starting point is 00:33:32 And he tapped me. I was like, oh, and it wrecked it. I couldn't fall back asleep. That's fine. He's on the inside. That's the price for being an eye. aisle guy. Right. I'm an aisle guy too. Yeah. Because I don't want to bug people to get out. I know. And I want to get out. And I want to get out. And I don't want to hold it. So I'll piss on the plane.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Of course. Multiple times. But I'm not drinking coffee before I get on the plane. No. Or when they say, do you want anything to drink? No. No, no, thank you. I'm good. Yeah. I can make a three hour flight without making myself pee 20 times. Yeah. Well, this guy did not pee because he woke me up. And went in there. And I want to go back to sleep. So I'm like hoping he's going to go like. So I know he's coming back. I can't fall back asleep.
Starting point is 00:34:20 He was in there for like six minutes. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's a shit amount of time, right? You ever, you ever, you ever piss for a shit amount of time? And then when you come out the bathroom, you want to tell people I was just pissing. I hadn't washed my hands thoroughly before. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:45 That's what takes me the most time. I needed some time. This takes a long time. Yeah, keeping that water going five times. All right, so back to my solving your problems. I tell everybody at the airport, I tell all the vendors, the bars, Starbucks, Hudson News, you guys can't open until 10. Until 10? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:09 So anyone that stumbles in there, they, they can't have coffee and then keep their windows open. Even if they want it, they can't get it. How are you going to enforce this with a fine? Yeah, yeah. Because that's the tough part. Like I'm with your decree, your raw decree. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:35:26 But I know business people, you know, what do they call them? Capitalists are going to rally against this, you know? Right, because they want to make money. Yeah, yeah. Do you have more sympathy for the people sitting at the bar than the people in line at Starbucks? A morning drink. I mean, I get it. Maybe some people are nervous about flying.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Yeah, that's my, yeah. So maybe that will calm them down. But, yeah, I know I don't want to see a pilot at the bar. I know that. Okay, let me throw this one at you. Oh, shit. I saw my pilot yesterday. My pilot yesterday.
Starting point is 00:36:11 I'm waiting to go on. And, you know, I see the pilot. He stops at the Wetzel's pretzels. And he got a big bag of Wetzel's pretzels. That should be illegal. Is your thought, this guy is just happy and enjoying his day, so he's going to be a good pilot? Or are you thinking, this guy doesn't give a shit anymore? This guy's sad.
Starting point is 00:36:33 He's eating Wetzel's pretzels at 7 a.m. I'm in trouble with him behind the wheel. I'm thinking I'm in trouble. I'll be like, sir, no inflammatory. foods while you're flying. All right. This is not the time to have a heart clog.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Right. Yeah. I don't want to have to use a co-pilot. We want you to make this all the way through. Yeah, you should not be, you should care more about your life than eating wetsl's pretzels. And if you don't care about your life, everybody else is. And now a word from our sponsors. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.
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Starting point is 00:39:15 Does it sound insulting? No, no. Because there's acts that, you know, you're like, oh, that guy's definitely from India and talking as an outsider. Your comedy is very inside as an American perspective. So, yeah, so it's kind of intentional in a sense like, so when I first started doing comedy, you could tell I was Jamaican, like straight up, like the accent was strong. Right. And then I got a handle on like, so this is what happened.
Starting point is 00:39:54 So first of all, one of the things doing comedy, and when I was doing black comedy, doing a lot of black comedy shows. Like, I was killing in New York talking about being Jamaican. Right. But then because I was killing in New York, there's like, let's do the show in Philly. And I was out of college. And I went and did that college. And I do my opener, which kills in New York.
Starting point is 00:40:24 It's about being Jamaican. Nothing. It's like an arena, not arena, but a big theater slash basketball. Because he was out of college. Yeah, yeah. And the whole crowd's looking at me. Nothing. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Nothing. And then I'm so terrified. I jump to my middle joke because your middle joke, you're opening strong, your middle's strong, and the other shit just gets you to the connection points. Yeah, to the good parts. Do the good parts. I do the middle, nothing.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Then I just do my closer. I'm three minutes in. It's Jamaican too. Right. Nothing. And I was like, oh, they got no Jamaicans in Philly. Right. And then I was like, oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:41:07 like you think like when you start killing in one place at home locally yeah you can just take that act anywhere yeah and kill anywhere yeah and then then you realize that demographics change and like being a funny Jamaican that just moved here is only relatable in D.C., Florida, New York and upstate New York because there's a lot of like in West Indian immigrants children that go to the colleges up there so I have a limited scope yeah so I have to like learn more about being American like my other black American comics they they were some a lot of them are from New York but they also have experiences of going growing up down south during the summer right so they had like so even if we went down south they would know how to like make the people down there laugh and the people in the so I was like I got to like dive deeper into this so that I can like be funnier and I have to be not just funnier then you do white clubs and you like I want to want to hit everywhere right so it just made me like dive deeper into like understanding America and learning America and
Starting point is 00:42:28 know what's funny anyway I don't want to just yeah yeah you know what I mean and did it come from travel or did it come from research or just just everything just all of it all at once you just had all the radar was turned up yeah to catch it all yeah you just have to live it yeah you know what I mean right yeah yeah how long did it take before you kind of like could go back to that philly place and I never went back yeah but like that kind of thing if you had walked into it like five years later are you good I would have been better yeah yeah I would have the opener that everybody would be able to relate to.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Like, I was shocked when I said, when I said the part that normally kills. Yeah. And then nothing. And you know that black audiences back then booed.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah. So I was like, I got to do something to get them quick. Quick. Quick. So then I jumped to my middle. That's, you know. Yeah. And then when that didn't work, like I'm in panic.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Never. We're going down. Pull up the nose. You're clicking all of us. I'm the pilot with the pretzel that's kicking in. Eat in Wetzel's pretzels. One hand on the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:52 So I was like, how do I avoid this? I got to like, you know. What year did you start? In New York. Shit. I just tell people in my 20s. In your 20s? What year was that?
Starting point is 00:44:07 Like, 1998? Something. I'm going to lie. Yeah. You don't know. Yeah. How do you not know? I do know, but I don't like talking about it.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Oh, because you're getting old? Yeah, yeah. Did you cringe when I said I've been doing this for 30 years? No. Because that's been my mental thing. It's like, that's a long time. Yeah, I mean, I've been doing it like 30 years too. Yeah, like around there.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah. I'm just asking because of, I was in New York, I started in 93. So I started like doing desperate like prom shows and things like that, you know, in the mid-90s. Not on the boats, but like a Caroline's or the comic strip. They would bring in kids from the Bronx instead of their prom dance or whatever. They thought it was a good idea to go see comedy. You remember this. And those kids would, they would boo you on your way.
Starting point is 00:44:59 to the stage. They would, they literally, like, you had to, like, you had to literally think, like, how could I get to the stage quick enough and get this joke out and try and stop the boo? It wasn't there not going to boo. It's like, how could I give them enough? Like, I'm not full of shit. I'm not one of them. Right. I can just stop the booing a little bit to get through this.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Right. Just so that they can hear you to start, lap, to jump start up. Yeah. Exactly. And not kill, but survive. Right. Survive. But those, they, black audiences would just rip you apart.
Starting point is 00:45:32 There was just no, they was just no. Because black audiences used to watch Showtime at the Apollo, so they figured the way, they were, they were taught the way to not like a comic. Yeah. Is to boom. Right. And a white audience would just watch. And we'd get quiet. And just get quiet.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Right. And then maybe if they like something, you could get a pop a moment. Yeah. But a black audience, you're not going to finish if they don't like you. You have to go. You got it. You have to go. Yeah, you have to leave their presence.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Yeah. Man, you had to be tough to get through those. You really had to. Yeah, I've been booed on a bunch of black shows. Yeah. Back in the day, like learning. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Yeah. Yeah. Get out. But once you could crack it. Then. Jesus. You're not scared of anything. Yeah, you're not scared of anything.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Yeah. Anything. Mm-hmm. I just stopped going to those shows. Like Big Jay, like Jay Ogerson, like he would play a lot of black rooms and got good at it and was like got the respect of being able to do it. Always impressive to me. I was like, wow, yeah, you could do that. I'm not going to try it.
Starting point is 00:46:50 I don't have the time or the fortitude to make this a project. That's so weird. Because they also, they, they, they, they, they, they, it's so funny to talk about it as a, as a crowd as a group, but, but they could sense if you were trying to be cooler than you were to adapt to the room. You're better off going in there like Lenny Marcus or something and being like, no, look, I am, I am, I'm, I'm even nerder and whiter than you think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you would survive it. Then you would be honest. Yeah, they could just whiff. Right. Pretense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The more authentic. Pentechewer, the better a chance. Like, but the black comics, we used to, like, yell. Like, on stage. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:37 So to show, like, to give a commanding presence. Like, that's how I was. Oh, really? Yeah, if you see, like, my old death jam? Uh-huh. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm telling, you know. Screaming.
Starting point is 00:47:49 I want to jump on top of the audience. Uh-huh. Give the pretense of confidence. And that I know what I'm talking about, that I belong up there. Yeah. like so that they would let me finish. Right. And get them on my side and.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Yeah. Dominate them. Yeah. There was like you got, if you had a 20 minute set, you had three minutes. Right. Yeah. To let them let you finish the 20 minutes. Right.
Starting point is 00:48:16 You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to like hit them with. That's how hip hop is too. It's like, you know, bravards, say it with your chest, you know. Right, right. Get to the insult before they do. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Let them know that you know. I know what I'm talking about. It's so crazy. It's such a hard thing to do on its own with an audience that's on your side. Stand up is still a difficult endeavor to be able to get these people to laugh. And then you throw these other elements on it. Like I always have that sympathy for gay comics or women comics. It was just like, you have this whole other obstacle thrown on top of what already is an impossible job.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I just feel like comedy is just tough for everybody in their own different way. Yes. Even for like, it's tough for women for the reasons it's tough for women. Right. It's tough for black comics for the reason it's tough for black comics. It's tough for white males because I feel like there's so many white males. They cancel each other out. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:20 You know what I mean? So you could be great and just be like, we just got to pick one. Yeah. Or we can only pick five of 20. money, you know. Yeah, yeah. So it's, it's just, it's just tough. Everybody, every single comedian for most of the time, it carries around why it's not going to work out for them. Right? Not just in the set, in the business or whatever. Everybody, just as a human being, we all kind of carry, like, whatever job you have, you're like, oh, they're not going to like me because of this.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Right. Right. I mean, I also learned that we've overcomplicated. That reminds me. how much like the battle is us against us. And I think back and be like, damn, if I had just like, when we see Kevin Hart, with no inhibitions. Right. And we're having no inhibitions can take you. Yep. And I was like, oh.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Yeah, exactly. Like any of us is that funny. Yeah. But we care and overthink things too much. Yeah. And he has this one missing ingredient that we don't. Or he didn't have. Didn't have in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Some people show up like Kevin and it's just like, you're not stopping me. I don't give a shit. Yeah, he doesn't second guess. But like there's a lot of really good comics who second guess. When you had to learn that. You have to put it in. It's play how to dump, how to get out of that puzzle in your own head when you were young. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:54 And eventually you get there. I mean, yeah. That's why I think comedy does make us, like a real comic, makes us a better person because you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're suffering through something. You don't have to. And then you're realizing slowly. And then you're correcting it. So that you can take it further, like, into your, into your real life. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It really is this, this strange little puzzle. Kevin also like He also steals everyone's material And he's you know I don't think those are his real teeth I think he brightens them to make it so charming
Starting point is 00:51:32 You know he stole his height Yeah he was tall He was taller than that I remember you see those documentaries He was a tall guy He was tall He was tall He son of a bitch
Starting point is 00:51:44 Have you seen the Eddie documentary No not yet It's pretty great. Yeah? Yeah. I'm scared to watch it. I know. Let me ask you why you're scared to watch it.
Starting point is 00:51:56 As a comic, I romanticize Eddie. So if I, there's going to be a doc on Eddie, I want to like it. So I was like, what if I don't like this, then my whole relationship with his work is ruined. Like your joke about the Michael Jackson documentary. That's so funny. You will like it. He has a great perspective of his own superstar. Oh, that's dope.
Starting point is 00:52:18 which is really cool to watch. Like he really, he knows how important breaking through in films and what his stand-up meant. And as a historically, as a black man, just what he did to the entertainment business, what he had to do to go through it all. And it's not really fraught. He's just a professional. And he has a really calm, cool way of talking about it. That is really impressive.
Starting point is 00:52:46 I'll give you the reason why you should be scared of it. beyond that is that we'll never be as great as Eddie Murphy. I know. I know. That's, that's, that's, that's,
Starting point is 00:52:57 that's what's good about us. Yeah. Like, to, like, enter a race. Yeah. That you already know who the fastest person is.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Mm-hmm. And you know how much, no matter how you're trained. Yeah. You'll never be as trained as naturally fast as this person is on the, their first day in their first race before they even trained. It's a great way to put it. And we still got in the motherfucker anyway.
Starting point is 00:53:25 That's a great way to put it. Yeah. Because there's Otani and there's all these other people who dedicated their lives to the same sport and who will never be Otani. Exactly. It's just a natural kind of a thing. And you know that going into the documentary, but it kind of creeps up on you. As you're watching it, you're like, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:53:44 This is a whole other. There was a moment where you're like, are we even? in the same business. He's just so magical and fantastic. Yeah, yeah. He's just so great on so many levels that, like, we all have a little inkling of all of those things, but he just had it.
Starting point is 00:54:03 He had, and it, but it also goes to, like, he had just, I had no inhibitions. Like, that Kevin thing that you just described. That Kevin thing, like, I noticed that, and I just wouldn't, I, it's tough for me to accept that. like for myself. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:54:21 Well, he said that he knew he was going to be famous when he was 18. He said, I just knew that. I just said that. And there was no way around. Like, you couldn't. This is a kid at 16 saying that, right? Right. 13.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Oh, I'm going to be famous when I'm 18. And it wasn't like up for debate. Yeah. And he didn't make it until he was 19. So a total failure. It's a total failure. Totally failure. But it's pretty beautiful.
Starting point is 00:54:50 I still have like the last quarter to watch. So it might fall on its ass. But so far it's really pretty, pretty great to watch. I might go home and just watch it. Yeah. I think you really like it. Yeah. Yeah, it's really good.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Yeah. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Yeah. I'm going to make you uncomfortable. You're good at talking about things. There's a, like, even the way you talk about the documentary or the movie. earlier. Yeah, I don't know if I'm just noticing that. But I can feel like you're conveying shit well. Oh, that's good. I don't know why your family doesn't like you. Yeah. They should.
Starting point is 00:55:29 And I'm wondering why you're just finding that out now. You know, we all have our, we all have our route, our path to get here now. It's a great comedian, and all the specials and very accomplished. We take detours during our things that we're not that proud of. Like, you know, you take a gig that maybe you didn't love or whatever. And I'm not saying this is one of those, but it does seem like an odd choice for you that we found off the internet. What about this phase?
Starting point is 00:56:09 Ballet. And not just ballet. Like, I've seen guys do ballet, but with a two-two. First of all, look at my form. So you can't say I wasn't like at least in it in the game. In the game for a minute. And there's a lot of beautiful women involved. And I was the only dude.
Starting point is 00:56:31 That makes sense. And they need somebody to pick them up and spin them up to those. So I was like I got to. And then look at my arms. You know, that's how I got the bar. Was the two to a choice? Because I never saw guys with that part. I mean, listen, when in Rome, you know, you just, you know, it's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:56:52 That's funny. So now, where do you, you're cranking out specials. You have to do a new one to save Jamaica. You save the people from the fires in L.A. Jamaica, I can't save you until next year. Let me ask you that. Do you think that when something goes down and there's like a, there's a, there's a, a tragedy.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Comedians always step up and do these charity shows for people. And do you think it helps? Do you think? I always worry about the money or the stuff getting to the right people. Right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:57:28 So even for... Yeah. So even, like, I haven't... So the money, the special is making is still on YouTube, still in YouTube. Right.
Starting point is 00:57:40 You know, I've been running... I was writing on a show Yeah. And that was keeping me busy. I just finished writing on the show not last Friday, but the other Friday. Oh, wow. And I haven't even got a chance to, like, get on a bunch of podcasts. I only did Rogan and maybe Greg Fitzsimmons podcast.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Right. And how much better is this one than those? I mean, yeah. Right. Thank you. You know, you're welcome. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:05 So I have to find a charity that suits the fire. I got to look at it. I probably won't take out. Yeah. Maybe I chat GPT it. Yeah. They say, what's the most legit? Or just ask Judd.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Judd usually knows. Judd, you know what? He does a ton of charity stuff. I'll ask Judd. And I'll just give the money to them. I just want the money to go to the people directly that is going to help the most. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:29 And I haven't heard much about the how it's breaking down. I know like the people in the Palisades are rebuilding. You know, they've resources. So they're like, you know. But dialed to Dina of it was more. working class. Okay. So I'll probably like lean more towards Altadena.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if the people of the Palisades would like it. Sorry, Palisades people. Are you going to stay in L.A.? For now, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:02 I still, I feel like L.A. is running at about 75% of what it used to be. But 75% capacity for L.A. is still good. Yeah, no kidding. You know? Yeah. And I still feel like it's home. Yeah. And I got a lot of stuff out of being in California.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah. Yeah. I still love it. Yeah, me too. I go back and forth, literally back and forth between New York and L.A. And I love both of them, but I don't really, I'm confused by the narrative of L.A. and California are done. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:41 I don't see that. Yeah, I don't see that. either. People are saying that on the outside or people who left say it but I'm here. It's not done. No. And, you know, let's, you know, let's see where we land. Yeah. You know what right? Exactly. Yeah. You can't have that many creative people, energetic people and this infrastructure of what this place is for every industry. Right. To quit on it. Right. Someone said like, you know, it could be like another Detroit. It's like, you take the cars out of Detroit. It's long winters. You know what I mean? It's like there's a...
Starting point is 01:00:24 I'll just get a cheap house by the beach. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. We just had rain. We just had the rainiest three days in our history. And there's never been a baseball game canceled because of. in Los Angeles. Oh shit for real? Yeah, I think there was one. I think there was one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Before we go, are you dating? Are you what's going on with your personal life? I haven't seen you in a while. I'm out there a little bit, but just a little bit. Like I think I'm in between not dating right now, not that I'm not trying. But I'm not trying that really hard. So maybe I'll get booed up for the holidays. holidays.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Oh. That seems like the opposite plan that you should have. Yeah. Because then you've got to buy presents and stuff. Yeah, but I can get out of that. I just want someone to ring in the New Year with. Yeah, if somebody, you know, somebody wants some company for the hot. Let's just go hang out a little bit.
Starting point is 01:01:32 And then you can break up with me, you know, like after the New Year. You know what I mean? Do you want to be lonely? I don't know. I'll hang. We only have to do nothing. But you seem like you have it on lock. Like you seem like you have,
Starting point is 01:01:47 because you've been doing comedy now for 45 years. And you always seem very content with the Ian Edwards project. Yeah. You know what's funny? I feel like I'm a, I have brothers and sisters, but I got only child vibes. Yes, that's true.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Like I am not afraid to be alone. Yes. You seem very content. I always. I always get that from you. So I just need some friends to hang out with and shit. Yeah. We go do some holiday shit.
Starting point is 01:02:19 And during the pandemic, I had the ball just being home. Right. Like solo. Yeah. I was like, thank God I don't live with anybody. You know? Yeah. And so the people were dying of loneliness.
Starting point is 01:02:33 I was, I was excelling in it. Really? I do get that fire from you, always. Always. And I think women get that vibe. This is going to be too much work to wrestle this guy down. He doesn't need. He doesn't need. Yeah, he is his own dish towels.
Starting point is 01:02:56 His bathroom's actually clean. He's got a duvet cover. He switches the thing. Well, congratulations on the special. Thanks, bro. And come back as often as you want. All right, for sure. And are you, so I didn't realize you were,
Starting point is 01:03:11 still writing on another project because you're always kind of going into projects but you had this you have this thing of uh one of the only guys i know who would write on hit shows and heavy but never let their stand-up slide right you know a lot of people get into it and then the stand-up kind of goes off and then they kind of end up uh but you've kind of done the opposite yeah like i guess not having i have time yeah so as long as i can get home from a right now job and they end at a decent amount of time I can get a nap in. Right. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:45 I mean, that I can hit the club. And I at least just try to, sometimes I might not write as much, but as long as I can, like, not get rusty. Yeah, right, right. Just keep going up. Keep going up, yeah. Yeah. That's another endorsement for not being in a relationship.
Starting point is 01:04:02 There's no one when you get home going, you've been gone all day. You're going out tonight. Yeah, I know, I know. But also, being in a family gives you material. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's just how you felt. I should just make a family up. That's what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah, that'd be good. Well, come back once you have your family. You know what? What if I do? It's a whole special about having a family that I don't really have. That'd be really funny. And have the kids at like six, seven, eight years old. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Just jump forward like a TV show. Oh, the old ball and chain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you should call it. The old ball and chain. It's hilarious. Well, congratulations again. And I hope everybody in Jamaica, if you ever do like a fundraiser or anything like that with Judd Apatow, I'll probably be busy, but give me a call.
Starting point is 01:04:54 I'll send them this bread. Right. I can make them bread. You'll make them bread. All right. All right. Thanks, yeah. Thanks, brother.
Starting point is 01:05:01 All right, we got it. All right.

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