Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 316 - Bobby Moynihan
Episode Date: April 7, 2026This week we welcome Bobby Moynihan to the table! He and Tom talk all about standup, raising daughters, and cigarettes. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit.
That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years.
With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget.
Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages.
Maybe you're picking out your very first policy.
Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family.
Either way, they make it simple to see your options.
No guesswork, no surprises.
Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be?
Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try.
Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.
Price and coverage match limited by state law.
I was talking recently about like a weird thing and like I started to get really excited about it
which was doing stand-up as drunk uncle from, like, the character from SNL.
So great.
And then I just started thinking of, like, what that would mean.
Like, and then, like, I went straight to, like, the opening of, like, a black and white shot of him walking down, like, a thing.
And, like, but, like, you realize you just can't find the plate.
Like, I was like, now I just want to shoot a stand-up special as drunk uncle, like, but, like, him really taking it seriously, an old age.
Like, I don't know, this is what I'm doing now.
And I think about it way too much.
Someone drives them to the gig.
Someone's driving them to the gig.
All because I just want to do the Matt Rife mic drop at the end as drunk uncle.
That's it.
That's it.
It's breaking bread.
Thanks for being here.
Thank you for having me.
I baked you this bread.
Thank you so much.
This morning.
It's not a bit.
It's a real loaf of bread that I baked for you.
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
Do you eat bread?
Yeah, look at me.
Yes, I love bread.
Okay, good.
Also, I know how hard it is to make bread, so nice work.
Thank you very much.
Well, you know, we don't do it for every guest.
Wow.
Yeah.
Sometimes we just buy them something.
Sometimes we don't do anything, and we pretend we just forgot.
Oh.
Yeah, but we like you.
Thank you.
You've been making me laugh for a very long time.
Same here.
And it's really nice to finally meet you.
That's crazy, yeah, same here.
That's funny.
On the car ride over, I was going, I'm a huge fan,
but I was like, I think I've met him before.
I don't think we have now.
I don't think we have.
SNL after parties were a crazy thing.
We're like for 10 years now, people go like,
oh, I talk to you for an hour.
And I'm like, yeah, I didn't know that.
So like sometimes I forget, but I think I wanted to meet you.
So in my head, I went like, we met and it went well.
Could we have met at the cellar?
Sure, I'm always hanging out there, trying out my stuff.
Because that's the only place I go out in New York.
Oh, really?
Like when people come in, they're like, where should we go?
I'm like, you can go the cellar or Gotham?
There's nothing.
I hate more when someone asked, like someone just recently said,
I'm going to be in New York.
Do you have any recommendations?
I'm like, I get Uber Eats at the hotel.
Right, exactly.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't go to nice restaurants.
I don't know what's cool.
My agents once asked me to pick a restaurant to go to and I picked a restaurant
and then I got an email saying that I'm not allowed to pick the restaurants anymore.
that's a real thing that happened.
Why, it was just like a regular place?
An actual roach crawled up the wall.
No.
I was like, I love this place.
I was like, they got good food.
But like, they were like, we're never eating there again.
One time I went out in New York.
I'm not gonna name the place because it'll be,
it'll be too bad, but it's a great place.
But it rhymes with Rick Donald.
And I was doing a show and I went with Jerry Seinfeld.
and his manager.
Not familiar.
He was a 90s guy.
Gotcha.
And we came his buddy.
And we went to this place, which we would go all the time,
an Italian place, and I just loved it.
And I got risotto, and it came out.
And there was, it was half of a body of an insect.
Like a thorax.
Like a thorax situation of like the lower half.
And it was, and I, this wasn't a bit.
I was just like, oh, and then someone saw it.
And some of the women we were with was like, hell no, you know, dropping stuff and calling them over.
I'm like, guys, I'm not waiting for another meal.
It's cooked, it's get it out.
I'm cool with it.
I get it.
If I was alone, I totally would have eaten it.
I get it.
I used to work in a Pizzeria Uno for many, many years
and the amount of things, like, people, like, watched,
sitting there cleaning the bar.
I was a bartender.
I was just sitting there cleaning the bar,
like just hating everything.
And I watched a woman take an ashtray out of her purse,
put it on the ground,
smash it with the leg of her chair,
take a piece out, put it on her plate, and go, waiter.
And I was like, I watched you do that whole thing.
I was like, it took you like a minute and a half.
I was like, I just watched you do that whole thing.
And she was like, I'd like to talk to your manager.
There was glass in my food.
I was like, we don't even have ashes anymore.
Like, yeah, the amount of things, like, that people would do someone.
Yeah, a family said, they were like, we found this tooth in our food.
And it was just like a plastic, a pristine plastic tooth.
And I was just like, that's not a real tooth.
It's very clean.
We have a whole bag.
Yeah, a bag of teeth.
Yeah.
Had a woman, uh, call me over and go, I'd like talk to your manager, please.
sit down.
She made me sit down next to her at the booth.
She's like, I'd like to talk to you, a manager.
And I was like, why is this?
And she goes,
he just sit down is a weird move.
Yeah, and was like, you can't fool me.
And I was like, excuse me?
And she was like, this is chicken.
You can't fool me.
And I was like, yeah, no, it's chicken.
I know it's chicken.
And she was like, no, no, you see,
it's called rattlesnake pasta.
And I was like, yeah, yes.
The name of the meal is rattlesnake pasta, which is chicken with jalapenos.
Because it's got bite.
It says it in that paragraph.
And she was like, supposed to be rattlesnake meat.
I would like to talk to a man to this.
And she was very upset that it was not rattlesnake meat.
Where was this?
Pizzeria Uno in White Plains, New York.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Very upset that it was not rattlesnake meat and thought she had been had.
God.
I was like, I know.
chicken when I taste chicken. Did she get money off? No, we kind of just explained it to her and she was just like, but I'm just saying, like she just wanted us to know that she had not been had. It's so scary to think that that person that gets in their car and goes off to the next adventure. You know what I mean? They're just among you. It's, it's amazing. It's amazing. It seems more now, more insane. I had my aunt Lynn, who was, she was wonderful.
She was in a wheelchair and a provolone.
It's so comforting.
It is like having it here.
I also didn't know it was a fake provolome.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Well, no, I just, now I'm more upset with myself that I just assumed there was just a wet
provalone sitting over here.
I literally, it's just been knocking around.
And when it's close to me, I just can't stop playing with it while I'm talking.
So I've just slid it over because I almost started playing with it.
Yeah.
I'm going to stop.
It's okay.
You can talk.
Totally do it.
I want to get my arms on that ham as well.
I know.
I know it's not real.
I love fake food and I love anything tiny.
What do you mean?
Tiny versions of anything.
Oh, like a little, yeah.
Anything like tiny I really enjoy.
Is this tiny?
Is it with this classified?
I like it.
I like it a lot.
I like it's that tiny pringle.
That's a little, that's two things.
I like a thing with a little mustache on it.
And I like it.
tiny thing.
Are you a Pringle fan?
Yeah.
They're not a sponsor, but they should be.
Very upset with the Pringle people.
I was on the road last week.
Not a good way to get them to sponsor you.
I know.
Why would they give me money with how much I talk about Pringles?
It would be the dumbest move ever.
And I was on the road in Florida,
and some fan brought food back because I bake bread and stuff.
People bring food a lot.
And they had a bag of sour cream and onion mingles,
which was the Pringle people making a puff and putting them in a bag.
Let that soak in, everybody.
Let that soak in the Pringle people in a bag.
and when you said to Pringle mingle,
my first thought was like
a sour cream chip, an onion chip, a sour cream chip,
an onion chip, a sour cream chip, and an onion chip,
and I was like, say what now?
Yeah.
Well, why is Tom angry?
My brain immediately went Buffalo Ranch, Buffalo Ranch,
or barbecue. Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Barbecue Ranch.
That's fantastic.
That is fantastic.
We have a big wooden owl in our house,
and my brother-in-law came over,
and we said we got to name it,
and he said, name it Pringle.
And I went, why?
Because of the potato chips.
And I meant, do you mean wise potato chips?
And he went, call it wise, like an owl.
And it was so right,
but we still call it Pringle because he was wrong.
It's so great.
So Pringle people, give us a call.
That really, if you were to alternate,
Holy cow.
Alternate flavors in a Pringle can and you get, oh.
That would be insane.
The Pringle mingle, that's what I thought you were talking about.
That's what I thought it was going to be and I was like genius.
Why is time angry?
This sounds like he's about the greatest invention of the 21st century.
I don't like that.
I don't like like a puffy Dorito.
No.
No.
Puffy Cheez-It.
The cheez-it people have really gone off.
If you've been in an airport in the last five years,
they've taken entire walls of the Hudson News
because of how many flavors they have.
I don't want to say this on a podcast, but I'm about to.
I've been ordering Baconator, Wendy's Baconator-flavored cheez-its off of TikTok.
There's so many great words in that sentence.
What do you mean off of TikTok?
Exactly.
That's wonderful.
TikTok, I don't know if you're on TikTok.
I think I have to be because our performance is horrible on TikTok.
And it's because we never on it.
I go on it and I enjoy lurking on it.
And there's a TikTok shop.
And I saw Baconator flavored cheese that's go by.
And I was like, well, I'm,
I'm gonna try that.
And I did.
Man, now I got a case of them.
They are, the word is probably interesting at best.
Yeah, yeah, not that great.
It kind of just tastes like quarters.
I get that.
Like there's like, it's like a bacon quarter, if that makes sense.
Like a bacon flavored quarter.
You want to know something really weird?
Sure.
I don't.
A bacon flavored quarter.
I'm going to be like.
I don't mess with change.
I think we've gone beyond coins.
It's like I had a bit, an old bit about carrying treasure around in your pocket,
like telling young people this is how we paid for things.
And I had some in my house and I put it in a little bag and I'm like, I'll use it for
meters when I'm going to ever and I went to go put it in the meter and they clogged it up.
like you can't use, like you can't use coins anymore.
And I have a quarter in my pocket.
And I was saying, and I don't know why, but in the elevator coming up,
I was like, I'm going to give Bobby a quarter and just tell him I brought you some treasure.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'm going to keep this forever.
And then you bring up quarters.
And I have a weird problem with people give me things.
I will keep this for the rest of my life.
That's really cool.
Yeah, I literally was thinking, and I was like, it's not a great bit.
It's not a great bit.
I love it.
Thank you.
Do you know, I recently bought a few quarters off of eBay because I heard this story.
I like weird things.
And I heard this story and I thought it was real dumb, so I bought a couple.
When the movie Rise of the Silver Surfer came out, Universal Pictures for some reason thought it was a good idea.
or I'm not sure who, I think it was universal,
just printed the silver server on the back of a bunch of quarters
and released them, which is highly illegal.
Just changing currency?
And immediately got in trouble for it.
And I bought a, I was like, that's crazy.
And I found a couple on eBay.
And I bought them because I was like, that's nuts that they did that.
And yeah.
That's amazing.
Did you live in a place that had railroad tracks?
Because we used to, in northern New Jersey,
we would go down by the railroad tracks and put coins on the track.
Oh, no.
And let the train go through them.
And then they'd be all.
I lived like five minutes away from a metro north station.
So like the idea of like going down into that was like, no, that's death.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's, yeah, that's a whole other thing.
Yeah.
No, no.
I didn't grow up like, hey, let's go walk on the train tracks.
Right.
Yeah.
With our.
There was like morning commuters.
With our fishing.
The train was a big part of my childhood life, I feel.
Yeah.
Because I lived in Westchester County.
So we would just go down to the city.
I live right near the Crestwood train station, so he would just...
Oh, nice.
You would go with your family, like, when you were young, or, like, when you were a teen
on your own?
Yeah, I would just, like, go down to the city or go see a Broadway show or, like, go do weird
or go to, like, comedy clubs and, like...
Oh, really?
Yeah, trying to stand up.
Late.
I would go watch comedy, and then, like, after college, I went to, uh, maybe it was
stand-up New York.
Yeah, up early side.
Yeah, and, like, took a...
took a stand-up comedy class and, like, realized instantly that I was like, oh, like, I want to do comedy,
but not this.
Oh, really?
Well, yeah, I was like, I don't want to stand on stage and tell you my opinion on Tuesday night
for the next 10 years until I'm good at this.
Like, it was like, I feel like I realized, I watched, like, the people at the bar on my first
night, and I remember seeing a couple people and, like, our.
class show was like five o'clock on a Tuesday.
There wasn't a lot of people there.
First of all, I wore a suit.
I'm with you.
And right before I went up, they were like, hey, this girl here has to make a video for an audition.
And it was Sarah Silverman.
And she, like, came in, made a tape real quick and, like, got up crushed.
And I was like, and then they were like, here for his class show is Bobby, this guy, Bobby Moynihan.
and I was like, uh, cigarettes, miles and cigarettes are crazy, right?
Like, I got a kayak with my miles and I couldn't use it because I smoked too much.
I was like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't do this.
I literally heard that joke back then.
Uh, yeah.
During the miles.
Yeah, yeah.
That was one of my first jokes that I thought was really funny.
That's so funny.
What if I saw you?
What year would that have been?
In like 2000.
And it would have had to been there at five for the class.
Yeah, I graduated high school.
99 was college.
Yeah, it was right after college.
Right after college.
Yeah, I realized immediately like...
Yeah, really?
Well, I think very shortly after I found
Upright Citizens Brigade and went, oh, improv, got it.
That's what I want to do.
I want to make up dumb shit with a bunch of other people.
Right, right.
What was so, what was so repellent about
standing up there and talking about your opinion?
Like, what part of that?
Well, like, I think I grew up loving stand-up.
Like, I grew up watching so much of it,
And, like, at that time was just, like, still, like, probably just, like,
watching Mr. Show and S&L and dreaming of it and not being sure.
Well, no, I was done with college.
I was an acting major in college.
And I came back and I was, like, searching.
I was like, what am I doing?
Right.
And I did, like, an off-Broadway show about, it was like, everyone's dead.
The whole, everyone was dead the whole time, you know, like, it was, like, that show and, like,
did that for a little while.
It was that show.
We've all been into that show.
Four people sitting in a chair
And one had a scarf on
Yeah
No set
It was really cool
I cried
Um
And then like took that stand up class
And like
I don't want to call them out
But I remember the teacher
Like he was very abundant
He was like
We wrote down like a couple things
In our first class
And he was like
That's what you're writing your jokes about
And like two weeks in
I was like well now I understand
A little bit better
I was like I think I want to
do this. And he was like, no, do the other stuff. And I was like,
all right. I don't know why, but sure. And I remember
even then being like, I disagree with just his teaching. And was like,
no, this is not right. And, uh, but yeah, I, I,
then hanging around that comedy club, I was like, I'm gonna die if I do this. Like,
I would be dead in, in, in a year. It was too suffocating. Like, it was too,
I would just sit at the bar all night and get, like, you know, and like,
you know what I mean? Like, it was just, it was, I think I would have just,
become a depressed comedian.
Romanticize the struggling comic, you know, I think.
But I was walking down the street.
I saw Upright Citizens Brigade.
I went inside, I watched your show.
Do you know Colton Dunn?
Yeah.
Like I saw a show.
He opened up like a fake window, came in a scene,
and I was just like, well, that was nuts.
Like that was insane.
I remember going like, whoa.
Yeah.
And then like never left that place for nine years.
It was interesting.
It was two weeks after I got there, Amy Poller, got SNL.
and I was like, oh, I'm never leaving.
Right.
I was like, that's what I want to do is S&L.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Did you want to do S&L when you were a kid?
You did?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I have, like, videos of me as a kid going like, Bobby Moore,
and they're pretending to do the opening credits and like,
oh, really?
That's great.
When I was a kid, I used to get called up,
brought down by my parents to do Gilda Radnor monologues.
Amazing.
I was like eight just doing Gilda Radner.
I have a very distinct memory of setting, like going, like, going to, like, I didn't have a lot of family growing.
It was just me, my mom, my dad, my sister, and, like, we only had a couple relatives and they were far away.
And one time we went to visit them and I didn't know how to be at someone else's house.
So I just, like, hid in the basement and was like, I'm going to put on a show later.
so like give me some time to set up
and like just went and hid in the basement
essentially for hours
and like set up a very elaborate thing
just like playing.
Yeah.
And then they were like,
dinner's ready and I was like,
I'm not coming.
And like,
think maybe I didn't go to dinner.
And then like after dinner was like,
come downstairs and put on like a very elaborate show
that involved a Nerf gun like hitting some.
And like I actually hit like I went like,
hit the thing.
And I remember everyone in the room.
being like, do you really just do that?
What just happened?
What is happening right now?
I put on a very elaborate show as a child that had magic involved.
Isn't it funny?
Like that instinct to do that is just, it's other instincts for kids to, you know,
care for things or be with animals, but that thing to, like, just perform.
My kid, I got an eight-year-old and a three-year-old daughter, both daughters.
The eight-year-old had a presentation for,
schooled today.
She'd been working on it for weeks.
Icons.
They had to pick somebody who they think,
they,
who impacted their lives and she picked
Tim Burton.
And she, she made a movie,
a horror movie called The Purse.
Wow.
About a, and she did it all herself.
She's eight.
Yeah.
She got an app and like made a movie on her phone
called The Purse.
it's a horror movie
but my favorite thing
she had to make like a poster for it
and it's my fee she was like
I dad I got this I know exactly
what I want to do and I'll show
you later she'd out of my way cut out all the
all these different characters
from his movies
and then a picture
of Tim Burton in the road she just wrote
Tim on his forehead and then across his
chest just wrote yes
queen
for no reason it's my favorite thing in the world
I was never so happy in my life.
That's great.
But wrote a bunch of things like
put a picture of Beetlejuice and wrote
Beetlejuice, Beatlejuice, nah, uh-uh, like can't say it three times.
Like all her bits that she put in that she came up with
and she found the alien from Mars attacks
and she was like, whoever this guy is.
And like I'm just watching her write jokes.
And like she was kind of more excited about the bits
than about like.
Yeah.
She was like, Dad, you know, he grew up in Burbank.
And I was like, what?
I was like, that's like a real fact.
That's amazing.
She's like, yeah, it's pretty crazy.
She like knows a lot about him too.
And I was like, no, man, I'm down.
I'm just brazen it amazing how, like, when you have those moments with when your kids
are that age where they surprise you, like, with this kind of stuff.
Like, she has all these bits in her head.
And I would always think, I'm just seeing you every day.
I have no idea that you're getting stuff from other people, that you're putting it together,
that you're, like, you have ideas.
Like, they just, like, oh, you.
You're out there doing so much more than I see at dinner.
She was going this morning, like going to the class,
they had to do the presentations and like walking in.
She's got a red wig, a big like McDonald,
like Ronald McDonald's red wig on.
She walks in the classroom and everyone in the classroom is like,
Gerald!
And she starts doing this voice.
And then I realized in her movie she plays like this character named Gerald.
And I think it's like a character she does it.
school.
And then she put it in her, and like afterwards,
she was like, Gerald's going to be in the sequel.
And like, other kids were like, oh,
Gerald! And I was like,
oh my God, oh my God.
Like, it was just not. That's amazing.
That's so great.
She's got a couple characters right now.
I said, you have any new characters?
And she went like this. She goes, I'm working on a new one.
I said, well, it's his name. And she went, William.
It's the best.
It's the best.
best.
How aware is she of you and your ride?
The eight-year-old knows what I do and like doesn't care.
Like it's not a, it's, she's like, oh, awesome.
You do what you.
Like, I think it's very commonplace.
But, like, recently I was in a Pixar movie and she went like, like, there's a little
bit of like, oh, like there was a little.
That's huge.
Well, because, like, other kids started asking her about it.
And I think that was like it, there was like a little bit of a level up.
Yeah.
Where she went like, we got stopped.
Like somebody, excuse me.
Are you?
And she went, he's king George and hoppers and he was on S&L.
Yeah.
She got like annoyed by it.
And I was like, you don't have to say anything to anybody.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like it was like, that was the first time I had to like deal with it.
Right, right.
And the three year old hates it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's my voice in something or like a laugh and goes like, weird.
That is weird.
Yeah.
Whenever there was anything that I was on, my daughters would stand in front of the TV and start dancing.
Just start putting on the show like, why did mom put this on?
A close friend of mine, Taryn Killam, was on Sesame Street, and we put on the episode and my daughter was like, I hate this.
And I tell Taryn and I was like, I'm so she just did not like your performance on Tessma Street.
Thumbs down.
We had, I was very good.
He was very good.
She, just not for her.
I had a similar thing where it was.
around that age when I was in the B movie.
And that was like, and you bring them to the premiere
and do all that stuff.
And it was like that one, like, for the first time,
just like got me some cred.
Well, that too.
It's like, how do you, that?
It's like someone at school asked, like, you know,
like, I'm going to the movies this weekend.
She was like, oh, is it the premiere?
Right.
And you go like, oh, you grew up in L.A.
Or like she brought a friend with her to the premiere.
and a friend was like, this isn't my first premiere.
And I was like, wow, you're eight.
Yeah, right, exactly.
So jaded.
I know, so jaded.
It is an interesting thing.
It is, it is, it's great, but it's weird.
Explain, like, it's just my job.
It's just that my job's on TV sometimes.
Yeah, I know, and everybody else is the same kind of thing.
Yeah, it was the first time, like, my wife was driving, like, they saw on a billboard for Richie
Dinkins, the NBC show, and, like, they saw that.
And then across the street is a hoppers one.
And they kind of went like, what's happening?
They know I'm in hoppers, but they didn't know about that one,
but my face is on that one, but not on that one.
And it was like, yeah, this is a really nice moment for you.
That was a good week.
Yeah, it's really good.
An interesting time right now.
I'm very lucky.
This is a, can we call it a hit TV show?
Because it seems like everybody loves it.
I would like for you too just for, just so my daughters can go to college.
No, but really, I've only seen the first one.
And it's like, it's like, my least favorite one.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Well, and it's great.
I mean, it's just, uh, look, if, if a show that's going to last is going to have,
like, great characters are going to take you along.
You've got it.
I, I've never been on, I've never been on anything where, like, we shot the pilot and I was
like, wow, I really hope this gets picked up because that was fun.
And, like, I really hope they give us a chance to hit, they hit the ground running.
And then, like, they did and it did.
And it was so fun.
And I, I, like.
I love it.
And you feel it?
You feel like...
I mean, it's always hard to kind of...
Yeah, you all...
Like, I never know.
Yeah.
But I just went, I...
You know what it was?
Was like, when it was over, I went, man, that was a blast.
I met, like, Daniel Radcliffe is like the best.
Erica Alexander, like, it's also a show about a family.
And we were, for three months, we were just in a fake house, pretending to be a family.
Right.
Making a fake movie.
And it felt like that.
Yeah.
And Tracy's nuts in the best way possible.
Like, it's just all insanity and love with him.
Yeah.
And, like, Daniel's just meeting Daniel Radcliffe and just, like, getting to know him and just his whole story and his whole life is just like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's been a part of our life for such a long time.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know if I've ever said this to him, but like, I hate him.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, I didn't, like, grow up on Harry Potter.
Like, Harry Potter, I think I was probably like college or something.
I don't know.
But like it wasn't, it just never, I was nerdy about other stuff.
Right.
It comes up so much and like just, but being around him, he's just such a insanely good person.
Yeah.
Good at handling all of that.
He must have had really good people around him to take his whole childhood and rise up that way and be.
Yeah, you just go, like your parents must have been awesome.
And whoever, whoever was around you through all of that did a fantastic job.
And like, it's not.
not like the kids in the early 80s and movies.
And we're just like going totally just allowed to just,
here's money and go enjoy yourself in L.A.
Right?
Same.
Yeah.
No rules.
No laws.
Yeah.
My daughters were like I got to follow the whole Harry Potter because it was,
it's synced up with their childhood.
So yeah.
So by the time the movies and it was just really great.
My daughters like haven't gotten back like into that yet.
Like we haven't.
gotten into that and also like
I don't know like we haven't gotten
the books for them but I don't
know now I'm not supposed to do that now
I think because of her oh come on
yeah
maybe probably
maybe but they're still great books
yeah yeah they
I'm gonna give her like really niche
the Star Wars books
like but like the ones the like
expanded universe where it was like
one character
was that your thing were you a Star Wars kid
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was yours.
It was like I had a book about,
it was like,
what's his name?
John Ratsonberger was an extra
in Empire Strikes Back.
His name was like Colonel,
they gave him a name
probably like 20 years later
when they realized it was him.
Yeah, right.
And they wrote like a book
about his character
and like I think I read that as a kid.
Just his own story.
Yeah, just like it would be like some alien
in the background
and they would write these like long books
about them.
Yeah, that's great.
We'd like to thank the good people at Butcher Box for sponsoring today's program.
You know these weeks when you're trying to eat well and you've got good intentions,
maybe you even bought a vegetable or two, and then dinner time comes and you open the fridge
and it's just nothing that actually turns into a meal, just little parts of things and you're
like, I don't know.
And then you order something or just go out.
That's why I love having Butcher Box around, having really great protein delivered to
your door means you're always halfway to a real meal. What I like is you can customize everything.
If you're meal prepping, feeding a family, cooking for picky eaters, or just trying to make weeknights
less chaotic, you pick what works for your life. Butcher Box offers 100 premium options.
100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, crate-free pork, wild-caught seafood, all high-quality,
whether you're making a beautiful steak or just throwing something in the air fryer for the kids or for yourself at 10 p.m. No judgment. Shipping is always free and they've got some items in Target now, which is perfect because Target is already where I go to buy one thing and leave with 14. For over a decade, butcher box has led the industry with meat and seafood that's antibiotic-free, hormone-free, and independently verified. It's the clean, trustworthy protein you want to be eating.
as an exclusive offer new listeners can get their choice between organic ground beef chicken breast or shrimp in every box for a year to hear that ground beef chicken breast or shrimp in every box for a year plus $20 off when you go to butcherbox.com slash papa that's right your choice of organic ground beef chicken breast or shrimp in every box for an entire year plus $20 off your first box.
and free shipping always.
That's butcherbox.com slash papa.
Don't forget to use our link
so they know that we sent you.
It's a great way to support the podcast
and have great stuff in your freezer
waiting for you when you get home.
Thank you, Butcherbox.
I hear that Hoppers is an amazing film.
Like people of all ages are, like really into it.
Yeah.
Like the cool comedy kids that John hangs out with.
Have you seen it?
They're all really did.
down with it. I have not yet. I was supposed to go this weekend. I wasn't able to make it
a show. One of my friends said I was the lizard and I was like, all right, I have to see this.
Because if you are being mean to me, I'm going to be so. No, I know. It's a compliment.
The lizard in the movie is very different than the lizard in the media, if that makes sense.
Well, the lizard, it's very funny to me, the lizard, like being a part of the, like it's,
this whole thing is very, so Daniel Chong, the director was a guy that I met like 15 years ago doing this
cartoon called We Bear Bears. I auditioned for a cartoon called We Bear Bears. This guy, Daniel
Chong created it. I had known his work. He did, like, um, comic strips. Oh, yeah. And, like, I had
seen a couple of them. And when I got the audition, I was, like, psyched. And I remember thinking,
like, oh, I love this guy. Like, I would love to be a part of this. We met, and he's the sweetest
dude in the world. And we did that show for a bunch of years. And, like, I loved it. It's,
like, cartoon therapy. It's like, he's just a sweetheart. And it was all about three.
Three bears, like, who live in California, but they aren't from there.
And I think it was just, like, him being Korean and moving to California and trying to become an animator and, like, feeling left out.
And he just always, he's one of those dudes who, like, he's very funny, but, like, it was all about, like, heart also.
And, like, the show was really sweet and beautiful.
And I always loved it and thought it was super special.
Oh, wow.
And we, like, he's a kind of not a shy guy, but, like, we would go to Comic Con together.
and like we for many years because of the show
and we hung out a bunch
and when the show ended I was like
I don't want this to end
like I miss you
and he was like well I'm going back to my old job
you should do that
come come do this thing I'm doing over there
and I was like great
like let me know and he's like I'll call you next week
and I get a thing the next week
saying you want to be the lead in this Pixar movie
and I was like his old job was Pixar
like literally like
you thought he was going to Enterprise Rent a car
and was like what
and then the next thing I know
we're making this Pixar
movie and like just being able to like as a fan of that stuff and like a fan of Pixar and animation
just that in general like to have a close friend who is brilliant enough to make one that needed
to be made and to be in it like it has been just that simple idea it's so it's amazing to me
when you beautiful you're taking human brains and putting them in animals or the soul it's the closest
thing I oh gosh go for it
It feels like the closest thing, a corporate thing can make about saying things about a corporate thing.
Uh-huh.
Does that make it feels like the most you can go like, hey, we should have heart and care about each other.
Right.
I know we're trying to make money here.
Right.
But like, it's just like it feels a little bit like it leans more on hope.
Mm-hmm.
And like, yeah, they just, he, I'm like, I had worked on it for years.
And I got my daughter's first name in it, Dorothy, but not the second daughter because she wasn't born yet.
That's how long ago it was recorded.
And then I'd seen it.
I've seen bits and pieces of it.
I did ADR, blah, blah, blah.
And then at the premiere, we saw it in front of an audience.
And I went like, oh, man.
Yeah.
Like, I haven't been in a movie theater with a bunch of people in a while.
And, like, there's a couple, like, big swings.
And, like, there's a big shock moment.
And, like, everything just hit.
Perfect.
And I just remember thinking like this was so cool.
I'm so happy.
It's so great.
Did he write it also?
Yeah.
No.
Him and,
yes, him and Jesse wrote it.
Yes.
He wrote half of it.
Exactly half.
Exactly half.
Oh, that's really great.
That's a great story that you would just like,
I love when it's so organic.
Like you just like this guy.
It seems like you have a lot of that in your career.
Like it seems like, it seems like,
like Amy Poehler and like all that that whole UCB to S&L like it seems like you're
I have always said I feel like a kid who's just walking around and then a door opens and he's
like what's in there and then I go in and then like I'm working there if that makes sense yeah
this is not a bit I my daughter was six years old her sixth birthday party we had just moved to
LA one of the parents came over to me and she was like hey what's going on
you're Dorothy's father
and I was like yeah Bobby
and she's like
we just saw a movie yesterday
called if and you were in it
and I was like yeah
yeah it was
and she goes
I'm the showrunner
of a new show called NCIS Origins
do you want to play the doctor on it
I was like yeah
yeah yeah that would be great
that's like shoots right down the street
she's like yeah we're a universal right down here
I was like fantastic
and I think I just finished episode 18
of NCIS Origins which I've been on
and we've got season three.
It's the best.
It's the dumbest.
I was like completely joking.
I was like,
do I want to be a doctor
on like a cop drop,
like a cop procedure?
Like, yes.
Like literally just made myself laugh
of like how weird that would be.
So great.
Dumbest thing I've ever stepped into
my favorite job in the world.
Could you?
Could you imagine?
I go put on a lab coat one day a week
and it's the best.
Could you imagine
if you had stayed at stand up New York
and been like,
I'm going to get this cigarette miles joke to work.
Your whole career would have been over.
I remember my big thing, and this was like non-negotiable, like from the start, from day one.
I knew that I was going to do this, and I did it, and it got nothing.
I went, thank you.
That was my time.
Save the whales.
I thought it would be really, really funny to say, save the whales.
People were like, oh, that's sweet.
Like, thank you for that message at the end there.
And I was like, oh, they were supposed to laugh.
That's a weird thing to say.
You would have been stuck in a stand-up cul-de-sac.
I was a terrible stand-up community.
Even if you had gotten good, though.
Like, even if you would have.
You would have gotten good.
But it wouldn't have had these opportunities at this other path.
It's not what I'm good at.
I don't want you to know what I'm thinking about stuff.
I would be, you know,
I was talking recently about like a weird thing and like I started to get really excited about it,
which was doing stand up as drunk uncle from like the character from SNL.
So great.
And then I just started thinking of like what that would mean.
Like and then like I went straight to like the opening of like a black and white shot of him walking down like a thing.
And like you realize you just can't find the plate.
Like I was like now I just want to shoot a stand up special as drunk uncle.
like him really taking it seriously,
an old age, like,
I don't know, this is what I'm doing now.
And I think about it way too much.
Someone's driving him to the gig.
All because I just want to do the Matt Rife mic drop at the end as drunk uncle.
That's it.
That's it.
So when you were in school, when you were, it was Shakespeare, right?
Like you were, was that?
I did some.
I know that was listed as part of your thing where you, did you,
so you're an acting major?
I was an acting major at the University of Connecticut.
The University of Connecticut.
And did you quickly get good parts?
So like it cultivated it?
It was a fantastic experience.
It was like a small class.
There was maybe like 15 kids like in our whole class.
Like it was like and it was a very tight-knit community.
There was also I went there because there was a puppetry department.
And it was like the only school in America that had like a puppetry department.
So like the puppetry majors and the acting majors and like the.
dance majors hung it was all like the arts kind of uh it was very fun yeah that's great i got a lot
of fun parts um and was shakespeare part of that program or is that after i did like i did king
lear in college and then started doing like a shakespeare company like yeah for a little bit and
then while in school right after maybe or like more during a summer maybe right and then went
this is not yeah yeah was it not yeah i've always i've always been intrigued by it like in uh
when I was acting in school and that kind of thing.
And I never could.
But when I see it now, like, when I see,
this really shows my depth of it.
When I see clips on Instagram of people's monologues doing it,
and I can watch it five times and understand it,
I'm like, this is really so good.
It's a beautiful lost art.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, just that this person wrote all this stuff
and was so on point with humanity,
that's the part that excites me.
But then when I...
Well, yeah, it's like you start...
It's like, he was inventing new words.
Like, it was probably the coolest thing in the world.
Like, I think about people going,
like, do you see that Shakespeare show?
Like, he said a word that is now a new word now.
Yeah.
Like us talking about, like, stand-ups now.
Right, exactly.
It's...
But it wasn't for you.
It didn't stick that part of it.
Were you good at it?
Was it stand-up?
No, it's the...
Shakespeare.
I was like a foppish.
You know, I was always like the fat one who came in
and screamed and like, yeah.
Or like, you know, like I got those parts.
Right.
The parts I got and like, yeah, they were fine.
Yeah.
But like, I did musicals and like that.
I excelled at or thought I did.
Like I was a good dancer.
So like that.
But like I fancied myself a bit of a song and dance man.
And then met my wife who was a Broadway singer and went,
I cannot sing.
Can not sing in any way.
shape or form.
Like, yeah, yeah.
I think I was a little delusional
because I was like,
the best singer at my school.
Right.
Or not even close.
I just was like a ham.
He just,
just confidence.
Yeah, just confidence.
Yeah.
And then heard my wife sing and went like,
oh, that's crazy.
And then like,
as we started dating,
like, just realized like what she went through
to get to Broadway.
Right.
She wanted to do that and just went like,
oh my God.
How did you guys meet?
I was our improv teacher.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I hate it.
Really?
Well, we met...
At UCV?
Yeah, she took an improv class.
I remember her walking in the door.
Because I was like, that's that girl.
I saw her on the Today Show.
She was an Avenue Q.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, puppets.
Yeah, and I remember thinking like,
that's a hot puppeteer.
I've never seen that before.
Keeping the puppet thing alive.
And then she was, I was like,
I think that's that.
And I was like, yeah.
And then when the class was over, like, a couple weeks later, I was like, do you want to go,
do you want to go out sometime?
Nice.
That's great.
I found out about us and now I called my mom and I called her.
And we were just dated.
And like, we've just been together ever since.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Tell me about getting SNL.
I'm sorry if you're tired talking about it.
Is it boring to talk about it or is it do you like talking about it?
I love talking about it.
But I think I used to love talking about it.
And now I'm at a point where I'm realizing,
I'm like, I don't need to talk about it all the time.
I used to need to.
Right.
A lot more.
I saw a very funny.
After the 50th, I went like, whew.
Yeah.
Like, I think before the 50th, there was still like,
and I worked there, right?
Right.
Right.
You know, and like, after the 50th, it was like, that was a blessed.
Right.
Nine years?
Yeah.
That's a good run.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were so funny on there.
Thanks, man.
It's such great energy.
I saw a very funny clip where you say, I don't know what you, someone was playing you and you were playing the interview, interviewer.
And you were shitting on yourself as, that, you were saying to yourself, to you, you were saying you just get mistook for Horatio Sands.
Oh, all the time.
Oh, I think you're saying honest.
No, I know what you're talking about now.
Yes, all the time.
Yeah.
One of the best things that's ever happened to me was when I was on SNL, I went to lunch with Horatio right near UCB at this Chinese food place and we were standing outside.
I was a smoker at the time.
I was smoking a cigarette and Horatio was standing with me.
And a girl ran up to us, looked at me in the face and went, oh, my God, Saturday Night Live.
Carol is one of my favorite characters in the world, which is one of Horatio's characters.
And then she looked at him and got confused and then looked back at me and went,
What are you guys doing?
It was the best reaction in the world.
As if we planned this prank on her.
Yeah.
And she kind of just walked away.
But it was what are you guys doing as if we had.
How long were you at UCB before you got a shot?
Eight years.
Well, 2000 I started.
Eight years.
And 2008 I got SNL.
Yeah.
But I was at UCB for like many.
I'm still there.
You know what I mean?
But just not religiously.
Like we were there every night.
Right.
Yeah.
Were those fun years?
Yeah.
That was the best.
Where were you living?
In a walk-in closet in Brooklyn.
In Brooklyn?
Yeah.
I lived in Brooklyn for a little while and my literally like eight of my friends and I lived in a walk-in, I paid 200 bucks and I lived in a walk-in closet.
There was just a mattress on the floor.
started taking UCB classes
and then like 9-11 happened
and I think I moved back home to Westchester
and I was commuting to like UCB
for Westchester
for a little bit
Could you see the towers from your Brooklyn
from your where your spot was?
Yes but I wasn't
Not on the day I mean just like as a
Yes
It was a that was always
Just if you were grew up
And we're right
it was the lack of them was the most astonishing thing.
Yes.
Right?
You would orient,
yeah, still,
because you would orient your whole drive down the highways
coming out of the train.
It was your, that was your, that was your,
it's crazy.
Yeah, it was crazy.
So you just decided let me get out of the city for a bit
and go back to Westchester?
Yeah, no, I was working at the cell,
I was working at a pizzeria, Uno,
on the South Street seaport,
and I think it closed down because, like, rats took it over during the,
Yeah.
Or not pandemic, during...
During the crisis.
Yeah.
Shut down, so I just moved back home, started working in Yonkers, and like drove back and forth every night.
Right.
UCB.
Yeah.
What was your favorite character at UCB before you got the show?
Like, did any transfer to the show?
Yes.
Like, what were you...
Did you have a killer one that...
On my very first show, it was supposed to be Tom Hanks.
And then last minute, it was switched to Michael Phelps, who had just won the gold or some, it won the Olympics.
And which I think benefited me a great deal, because if it was Tom Hanks, I don't think I would have been in the show.
But we got a very tired Michael Phelps who had just gotten back from the Olympics and
Reese and was like exhausted.
Yeah.
It was like not wanting to perform on S&L.
So I got like to do a lot in my first episode.
And I got a sketch on that I wrote, which was like a character sketch that I did for my audition.
And like I had done it at UCB like two nights before.
With like my sketch group.
And then like two nights later did it on S&L with Amy Polar and Michael Phelps.
It's so crazy.
Yeah, it was word for word.
I still can't believe it.
It was nuts.
That's beautiful.
That was crazy.
Yeah.
But I don't think I would have, that would have happened if it wasn't for Michael Films.
Right.
Being such a good swimmer.
Yes, exactly.
Barack Obama was supposed to like be in the monologue.
It was the first time, Amy, first time Tina did Sarah Palin was like a big show.
Right.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's a big one.
Yeah, it was crazy.
What about the S&L UK one?
Oh, it's great.
I haven't seen it.
It's fantastic.
Is it?
I mean, as an As-a-known fan, just, like, growing up, like, it's, I just love that they're doing it other places.
Yeah.
They crushed it.
I'm so happy Tina did it, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a huge Tina fan, so, like, that was, like, a blast.
It was just, it's cool.
It's cool, yeah.
It's one of those things is like, oh, you, why didn't they do this years ago?
100%.
There's one kid that's blown up.
He played Princess Diana.
And, like, it's so cool to see, like, he's, like, him, like, it's just great.
Yeah.
I want to see them cry.
And then, like, now I want to see them.
come over here.
Right.
Do it over here.
Like, let's start.
Yeah, like bounce back and forth.
I just want to do all-star shows with everybody.
Yeah.
My dream for the 50th was like,
I would say it to like around SNL,
like around producers.
I was just like, you know,
if I had it my way,
the 50th would just be like an all-star season.
Like one episode was just David Spade
and Lorraine Newman and Jay Farrow
and then the next episode,
like, you know,
just like have like a bunch of people
from different years.
Yeah, and I get to be the guy.
Yeah, I was like, just because I want to perform with Lorraine Newman.
Oh, it's amazing.
I had, I was doing Sketchfest in San Francisco.
And Lorraine Newman, we were doing some show.
It was just this mess of a thing at Cobbs.
And I saw Lorraine Newman and I was like,
I was just trying to come up with something to get through the conversation
to make her like me.
and I mentioned jazz
and she hates jazz
like no one else has ever hated jazz
It makes me so happy
It makes me so happy
She's just like
crestfallen
Just like
Oh, I thought we were having a nice time
Oh, that is the best
She is like
I
Yeah
As an SNL fan
When you go like
It's just like
I can't believe she knows
Who I am
But she's just been so kind to me and so wonderful.
And, like, I've had a lot of interactions with her now and done a bunch of shows with her.
And the more I do, the more I fall in love with her.
Like, her kids are amazing.
Like, she's so, so funny.
She's so quick.
Dry.
And mean about that.
How long have you been doing it now?
I've been a comedian for 33 years.
Isn't that stupid?
It's so crazy.
I can't even say it.
It's crazy.
33.
Yeah, it's insane.
It's crazy.
It's so silly.
It's so silly.
Stand up New York.
That was my first place.
Really?
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
I remember, I remember very early on and like, or like, not last comic standing, maybe, or like, what was one of the?
Comedy Central.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah.
It's like, yeah.
That was my era was like.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah, just a suit from a secondhand store
and not knowing what you're doing.
It's so funny.
Did you wear a suit?
I wore a suit my first time doing stand-up
thinking like that's what I should do.
Yeah, in the very beginning,
I had long curly hair
and I was super high energy
because I was too scared for them
to hear them not laughing.
So I'd go really fast.
And I would kind of like lunge back and forth.
And I thought I was Sam Kinnison
when I started.
The one, well, not the one thing,
but one of my biggest regrets about SNL
was they asked, or like they should be like,
so you should do Sam Kinnison, and I went like,
and I did it, and it's my least favorite thing
I've ever done.
Really?
Yes.
Why?
Because I'm not an impressionist.
There are people who do impressions,
and like Sam Kinnison is like,
I feel like Sam Kinnison is a tiny bit, like,
walk in, like you can, you just got to scream,
and I still didn't do it well.
And I was like, I was like, this guy's great.
And like, I'm just not good at the impression.
I had a moment 15 years ago, probably at the Laugh Factory.
And there was an impressionist who was really good.
And he did Kinnison.
And it just didn't go over because no one knew who Kinnison was.
Yeah, that's happening now, too.
Like, in improv shows, I'll mention something.
And, like, the crowd just doesn't know what I'm talking about.
And I'm like, oh, man.
Yeah, I know the references.
You're like, ah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, like, you don't see a lot of Sam Kinnison around.
No, you don't.
You don't.
That's crazy.
I know.
I'm realizing, like, you just don't see that.
Like, Brian Regan, my daughter watches these videos.
She found this guy on YouTube,
and the only reason I let him watch it is because it's the most niche thing I've ever seen.
Do you know who Brian Possein is?
Yeah, of course.
Just for framing.
The guy looks.
exactly like Brian Possein.
I know it's not Brian Possein,
but every time I see him, I'm like, that's Brian Possein,
but it's not him.
He looks exactly like him.
And all he does is make videos
where he is lip syncing to,
so he's just Brian Regan stand up,
but he's just going like,
and making real like exaggerated faces, I would say.
That's crazy.
Over it. And I don't know why,
but my daughter loves it.
And I just love that she's getting,
like Brian Regan jokes from this guy.
And like, I try and show her regular Brian
Reagan and she's like, nah.
I like the guy who makes the dumb faces.
And I was like, this man is a genius.
Like, I was like, I've been watching him since I was 12.
Like, show him some respect.
This guy doesn't exist without this guy.
The bulging eyes does it, like,
she just wants to see.
Yeah, it's bizarre.
It's wild.
So she knows like 10 Brian Regan bits
at the age of eight.
Oh, that's so great.
My favorite.
Oh, man.
She really sounds special.
She really does.
She's a hoot.
Yeah.
Do you have a good Halloween at your house?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had two girls, too.
I still have them, but they're 21 and 23.
Wow.
What was the hardest part?
What was the hardest on your brain mentally?
The hardest part of my brain was the very, very beginning.
Like the baby, your whole thing.
life is like I I thought well this is going to change my life but you know I'll still get to read
the paper in the morning you know yeah and then you realize no there's not even a minute to pick up
the paper like your life is completely upside down and inside out my wife and I went to breakfast
together after the presentation this morning and it was like just complete silence yeah we just
sat there like, just breathing for an hour
because we were like.
Because you were blown away?
Just no, just like what is happening?
Like this is hard.
Like you know, it's like it really is.
I love those moments.
Those breakfast after, because as a comedian,
you don't have to go off to work.
Yeah, unless you're on it.
And those, if you go and do something parenting at the school.
It's like from the hours of nine to 10 a.m.
Yeah, you want to go get something to eat?
old selves for an hour.
Yeah, I love those.
Those were great.
And my wife would always push it.
I always be like, let's just go back to bed or whatever.
And she'd be like, let's go get something to eat.
Okay.
And those were really special.
Those little...
It was wonderful, but we were both tired.
Oh, man, those little girls, it's so great.
That's why I asked about Halloween.
That was like our biggest holiday.
I was never like a big Halloween guy.
Yeah.
My daughter, like the first Halloween where she could
do it was like she found Wednesday
Adams and it was like so mom was
Morticia and I went and got a
Cousin It. Yeah.
Thing on Amazon it was amazing and like
then that was it. We set the bar
way too high so it was like now every
Halloween we're doing whole family
things. I'm sure
we're gonna now we have, I'm pretty sure
we're gonna have to do Frozen. Right.
The three year old just found
frozen like a week ago.
So now you're in. When I
hear the Frozen 2 music, I get like panic attacks because it's the pandemic.
Oh, yeah.
Because that was just Frozen 2 was the Pandora.
Non-stop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you are going through these changes, right?
Now you're a dad and you've got these beautiful kids.
And like as a stand-up, you could always kind of, I would always write about what I was going through.
And like, you know, it would try and gobble my entire.
act or it would just be in writing or whatever. And it was very expressive way to kind of like,
you know, kind of figure out where I'm at or just, you know, get all that kind of thing.
In improv and that, do you have, is it like you're playing the dads now and you're doing that
kind of thing? Does it kind of have that same kind of cathartic thing about your life or is it?
I see what you're saying, like, I would, you know what I mean?
When I was at S&L, I was definitely like writing, like I would have this feeling or write
more like this character and like write this character because this is how I was feeling.
Now I go like it all changed.
Like it's like now like I'm just trying to find work that doesn't keep me away from my kids.
And if it does keep me away from my kids, I have to love it so much.
Right.
That it's okay.
Yeah.
And so it's all just become different like work like what I want.
Like now I'm like I want to write children's books more because.
like I want them to, like, you know, or like, just stuff is changing.
So it's like in your choices of how you're going to express it.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
I guess.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sure it happens subconsciously.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, there is a, there is a reason that you're shooting something in town and you're in animation.
And yeah.
It feels like 10 minutes ago I was a comedian and now all of a sudden.
I just realized somehow in the past couple months,
like I'm an elder statesman father.
Like, I'm in a very different place than I was a couple years ago.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, but you're still going to.
I also, I ask because, like, I'm terrified of the teenage years of that,
like when that comes.
Right.
I don't know.
I mean, there's definitely, you know, angst-filled, you know,
they're going through stuff that they don't understand.
understand, like literally an emotional, like a hormonal dump that could last for a year and a half where they pop out of it and they're like, well, that was weird. I didn't, I didn't really know who I was for the last year and a half. So it's, but I think in a non-serious house where you're always laughing and you're always kind of, you know, being on, comedy kind of makes you be honest about everything, right? So when you're raising your kids, you have that same thing.
and even if they're going through those moments,
there's always like a laugh at the end.
That kept them close.
And I think that was the thing
that got us through all of it.
It wasn't as angst filled
even in its craziest moments, if that makes sense.
Thank you. This is the best therapy I've had.
This whole thing has felt like an hour-long therapy session.
I appreciate it.
I like to tell people what to do.
I like to listen and follow blindly.
So that's amazing.
So I was a heavy smoker for a long time.
I haven't had a cigarette in many years.
Just seeing a pack of cigarettes this close to me this whole time,
I have never felt so tempted in my life.
Really?
I also just bred, like, this is an environment, yeah.
Like, the most time I miss smoking was, like, I'll have Chinese food.
It's been probably 10 years, you know, whatever,
and I'll have Chinese food and right after, I'm like,
I would kill a human being to smoke a cigarette.
Yeah.
I apologize.
Thank you.
It's just there as a prop.
The bread you have to eat.
It looks great.
I meant to say earlier, like, am I allowed to eat the bread?
Am I supposed to eat the bread?
Do you have butter?
You can bring it home.
We have olive oil, but you should bring it home to your family.
Great.
I never smoked cigarettes, but I, for some reason,
it's such a part of the culture that, like,
if we have like a long road trip
like this last weekend we had a long ride between gigs
and I just kept at the end of the ride
was like I just see myself outside the hotel before we go in
just smoking a cigarette before we go in
I've never smoked but it just seems like I need that moment
it's a romantic thing
it is so romantic it's really romantic
I also wish I was someone who could just have one
and then not have one for like two years
and then maybe have one again.
What was the Kevin Spacey
when he was the president,
movie?
House of Cards.
Yeah, the series.
And he would do that cool thing
at the end of each episode.
Everything he does is cool.
His character would open up
that little wooden box
and take one cigarette out
and smoke that before Ben.
And I remember saying to my friend,
oh, that's how I want to do it.
And my friend said, yeah, if only that's how cigarettes worked.
Yeah, yeah, not the case.
Yeah, no, not so good.
If I, if I, like, went like, I miss that.
I would just start walking to a store to buy a carton of Marlboro Mediums
while I was smoking that one and hope that I got to the next one.
Yeah, yeah.
On a writing night at SNL, I would go through two, three packs a night.
For real?
Oh, yeah.
Two or three packs?
Easy.
Really?
You smoke them all the way down or just keep
Just chain smoking like an idiot
Wow
That's cool
Yeah shouldn't have said that on podcast
Sorry honey
When you see this in 50 years
On your hologram
The hologram of you
Oh man
Well this was fantastic
So now you got hoppers
Yeah
You've got
The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins
Reggie Dinkins
Where are you out with that
The easiest name in television
Yeah
Where are you out with that now
So you're
I'm fine with it
No, no.
Are you waiting to hear?
We're waiting to hear.
Episode six just came out last night, and we're waiting to hear.
Cool.
But, I hope.
But, yeah, the momentum feels, I don't want to jinx anything.
I love doing it.
I want to work with those people again.
Yeah.
And are you making anything on your own?
Yeah, doing all sorts of stuff.
I'm on NCIS origins.
I'm always working.
I'm a bunch of cartoons.
Yeah, yeah.
It's fun.
I'm very lucky boy.
Yeah, you are a lucky boy.
Well, this was so great to meet you.
You made me laugh for such a long time.
Even though we hung out for a very long time.
That was really fun.
It was a blast.
I've never gone to an after party.
Oh, no way.
Yeah, I wasn't cool enough.
I was always like, I don't belong there.
I don't belong over there.
I felt the same way.
Many, many times.
That's why I was chain smoking.
You were in B movie.
That's all you needed.
I got to work with Jerry.
I was a chef boy R.D. in that unfrosted movie.
Oh, that's right.
Yes, you were very good in that.
A crazy experience.
That was really, how was that?
It was exactly like playing Chef Boy R.D. in a movie made by Jerry Seinfeld.
Right.
It was like a mad lib, the entire experience.
Yeah.
Where, if I can guess what that felt like, it was, we're doing something totally silly, completely crazy, but with precision.
100%, which I love, and I'm very used to that.
Yeah.
But Jerry often, I spoke Italian throughout the whole movie.
I don't speak Italian.
I would often be looking on duolingo as they were saying rolling.
And I was like, hold on, hold on, hold on.
And they would go, action.
And I would just say vaguely in it.
Like I was translating my lines in real time on duolingo.
Or Jerry would be like, try.
And I would be like, I need a second.
And like, as I was typing it into duolingo and then I would just say it.
And crazy.
But I only spoke Italian in the movie.
And every once in a while, Jerry would be like, you're doing great.
and like I'm still not positive
if he knows that I speak English or not.
The Italian guy's really good.
Yeah, he was like,
where'd you find this guy?
He's like kind of like the real shop, where are he?
But yeah.
Oh, that's amazing.
It was a crazy, that was a crazy experience.
Yeah.
Well, knowing where you're headed with your kids
and what's the craziness is up ahead
and where you're working,
if you just want to come here and hang out,
It doesn't even have to be with the podcast.
Thanks.
We have bread.
We have olive oil.
We'll get rid of the cigarettes.
I love everything here, except I don't mind the cigarettes.
I love everything.
Oh, hi.
Hello.
This is the best.
Yeah, the provolone.
It really is just great.
Yeah.
Yeah, we love it.
I like it here.
Yeah, I could live here.
All right, good.
Well, you're welcome back anytime.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I might just not leave if you're okay with that.
I didn't mean today.
Oh, well, never mind then.
We got a kids.
