Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 319 - Kyle Mooney

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

This week we welcome the phenomenally funny Kyle Mooney at the table! He and Tom work out on air, chat about the Land o' Lakes lady, and lament the artist's trajectory. Enjoy! Our thanks to: IQ Bar! Text PAPA to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. Quince! Give your kitchen essentials the upgrade they deserve with cookware from Quince. Don't wait. Go to Quince.com/PAPA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Okay, great. Yeah, I feel like I thrive and uncomfortable moments. I don't know about thrive, but I feel like I, I guess what I wanted to say is that like, I feel fine, I feel comfortable and uncomfortable moments, I think. I feel like I'm just getting warmed up. It's breaking bread. I really like toasting it with just a little butter.

Yeah. That's my favorite. Olive oil is a good way to go. Yeah. If you want to be fancier. Do you have, now, is there a, nice butter that exists. There's a really nice butter.

You can get it at Whole Foods. It's this French butter. I just forget the name of it. It's like in this gold wheel. Okay. And I can give you the name of it, but it's, that's, you eat that and you're like, oh, Landlakes blows. Yeah.

Do you remember the lady? Do you remember the lady on Landlake's? Yes, absolutely. You know how she's gone now? I didn't know that, but I could understand that. Yeah. Yeah, it was problematic. This is my camera?

Yes, sir. Do people ever played? Do they go, ah. Yeah, once in a while. Okay. They'll ham it up. Okay, okay. No, do you remember doing the boobs thing with the Landlake's lady?

No, what's that? I mean, it was problematic, just I guess for Native American reasons, but then we made it worse. As children, we didn't know. But you could cut out the Landelakes cardboard. and she was like on her knees holding a basket and if you folded it like Mad Magazine you could fold up her knees up to her chest and it made it look like she had boobs they looked like too perfect it was so great i'm just imagining it right now it was really pretty great and as a like 40 year old when they got rid of it, I was like, oh my God, it's gone.

Yeah. How am I going to show my nephews? Yeah. There's no way to access that sort of thing. No equivalent. I think a kid could get to to see anything explicit like that anymore. Yeah. I mean, I guess it harkens to a much more innocent time when that was your pornography

was taking logos and making porn out of it. and now like you know you could just open your phone yeah we really liked when we were kids you know i don't know with calculators spelling out boobs yes yeah that was sort of hot in its own way too you know just saying like having access to the word was its own it was really great yeah wasn't there another one with loose like if there was like a it would you would tell a story that's this sounds right right there's definitely i know there were other ones we did but yeah this is something well i'll have to google later Yeah. It seems like right up your alley.

Yeah, this is the sort of thing I'm really into. Right. It's got the thing that populates your films. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a really good filmmaker. Oh, that's nice for you to say. Yeah. Thank you. Really. Are you making one now? I'm not, I'm writing. I've written a couple things. And so now it's very early in the process of seeing who would want to make.

the movies with us. Right. Yeah. It's so impressive that you get to, that you've made movies. Yeah. Yeah, I do feel blessed. Like, I, I think that every time I've gotten something made, it is, there's always that feeling of like, oh, I can't believe this is, this is happening.

True. You know what I mean? Like, and it makes me, I wonder if like my time is up. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't, why? I just naturally, I think that's the way I work. Just always. Yes, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Just in general in life. Truly, yeah. This might all be coming to an end. Yes. So, like, I don't know what will happen with these new ones, but I'm, you know, hopeful, obviously. It's strange, though, because when I watch them, like, small comedy films like this, it's like nothing can stop you. It's like you're just going to make them no matter what.

Well, that is the thing that is still, yes, that I continue to find inspiring is, like, seeing people make small. things, you know what I mean? Yeah. I've re-watched, what's it called again? Bair. Briggs be bear. Sorry. And that, it's all that essence of just, no, we could shoot this right now.

Right. Right. Yes. Like, dude, this is just one character. And I know a place. We could, let's go. Yes. Yes.

So there was, yeah, there was obviously like a meta nature when making that movie because it felt like what the characters in the movie are doing. Yeah. Let's just make this thing. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And when I watch that, I always think, well, there's really no excuse for not making something of whatever it is. It's like nothing really can stop you unless you really want it to look good and have a budget. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the resources are there are at your disposal. Yeah. Yeah. Was that movie in your head for a long time? Like by the time you made it. What was like 2017-ish? 2016. Yeah, yeah. I think it came out in 2017. We shot at 2016. Yeah, I don't, let's see.

I bet it was in my head for, I bet I came up with the concept in 2010, 2011. It would be a big guess. Right. And I pitched to my buddy who I went to middle school with and he wrote it with me. And then my friend Dave directed it and he, I grew up with him.

So it was like truly like people that I've known for most of my life. Oh, that's really cool. Yeah. Did he direct other things? Was he? He, so I started, I mean, doing sketch comedy with this group Good Neighbor. We made internet videos.

Yeah. And he was behind the camera for all of those. Oh, cool. Yeah, this is always a great story. My friends weren't that creative. Right. Like, I got great friends, but they all went into stupid shit. But to me, that's impressive.

Yeah? Well, that you can do it on your own. Do what I'm saying? Like, I feel like I like having somebody to bounce ideas off of it. It feels almost necessary to my process. Uh-huh. Yeah. I see it as a fun crew you get to just keep making jokes with since you were in seventh grade.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, it is that, for sure. Like tires, like Shane Gillis, like, he's been with those guys forever. Right. And it just seems like a crew of degenerates that are still now getting paid to like make stuff. I feel like Sandler did that, you know, like just like kind of these people we've always, we have these, we have this inner, whatever, we have this way of talking and interacting and that to us makes us laugh.

Yeah. Y2K was shot in Ringwood, New Jersey, part of it. Do you know Ringwood? I know Ringwood. You might know better than me, to be honest. We are in different spots around Jersey, and Ringwood sounds right.

There was another place. Because my two sisters lived in Ringwood, so all my nephews were in Ringwood. Yeah. And they're all huge fans of yours. Oh, that's right. And a real funny crew. and they really take pride.

Okay. And yes, it's definitely ringwood. And I want to shout out everybody over there. Thank you for doing what you do. Shout out to everyone at the stop and shop. Yeah. Yeah, we had a great time. Yeah.

But you're not from Jersey. I am from Jersey. Where are you from? I'm from Park Ridge. Okay. My wife is from Jersey City. From Jersey City. Yeah.

My mom was from Jersey City. Okay. And now my niece lives there. and yeah so my mom lived there with my grandmother and uh you were we're jersey folks but you were san diego yes the new jersey of california is that what people are saying i just said it okay um i'll go with it you see more jersey than san diego really

i feel like if you saw me in the proper context you might not feel that way oh really maybe in san diego Was it fun growing up there? A lot of times places that are really nice don't cultivate a lot of funny. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's tough to, I'm trying to think of how I can articulate my San Diego experience. I love San Diego so much. It is pretty specific, and I think that, like, there is definitely like a layer of, for men, at least, I feel like kind of a bro-y quality. And, of course, you know, the service.

and skate and like that culture I think is so prevalent and it was when I was growing up. Yeah. Yeah. Like kind of like a kind of like the like the alt part of it. Like the skater kind of. No, I mean like I would not that like yeah, I don't know in terms of like the DIY punk ethos or something like that. No, I feel it's more like you've got to wear the like a billabong shirt to fit in. what I mean. It was more like this is how you're supposed to look.

Right. Less so like kind of like let's, you know, yeah. Let's make, let's do something crazy. Yeah, exactly. Let's be renegades or rebels. Yeah. No, it's just more like this is kind of your uniform. This is our brand. Yes. Yeah. But yeah, no, it's, it was, I mean, it's obviously an incredibly beautiful place. And, but it also has like conservative components, you know, it's, it's, it is a Navy town all

ultimately and uh right are you married i am yeah and when did you when did you get married uh august 21st 2021 oh so you had already that's yeah that's right okay i got nervous is it yeah so you had already moved back here i yeah so uh i lived in l a before moving to new york for s and l moved out of my place. But then I pretty much always came back to L.A. during hiatuses. So I was either like staying with friends or we were getting an Airbnb or hotel or something like that. Right. And I think it was like, you know, maybe my second to last year at the show, I got a house out here. And then so we started to begin the process of moving while I was on the show. Right. And it says in your bio that you hated your time at S&L. Why is that?

Oh my God. I really, I actually don't like how, how do you access? Is my bio like just like from Wikipedia or something like that? You just look up bio, right? Kyle Mooney bio. Kyle Mooney bio? Man, I felt like I'd be talking about this. I feel like I had like a sort of daydreaming moment of like describing my experience.

Because time's going to ask. Yeah, maybe it's just what my life is. Yeah, I know. When I was getting ready, when I was making your bread, I was thinking, I don't want to just ask about S&L. But it's such, it's, I mean, but it's that weird thing because I'm sure people always want to talk to you about it, but it is for you has got to be just a huge moment in your life. Absolutely. And, you know, the tough thing, and I enjoy talking about it. I don't want to sound like, oh, no, here we go again. I don't feel that way at all. it's a tough thing to articulate you know what I mean and so much has been said about it sometimes I feel like I don't know that I have the new thing to say about the experience

I will say like when I think about it and I've talked about all aspects of it in various points and in various interviews and things but like it was ultimately I mean maybe this goes without saying so incredibly positive because like I mean, that, I was there for nine years.

I got, I had a sustained job for nine years, which is, and now like with the state of our industry, like, that seems. Yeah. Like, it wouldn't even, it doesn't even exist. Do you what I mean? No. Did you know each year that you were, like, is it every year you are waiting to see if you're called back? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Every year, you're sort of finding out. I mean, in. Whether you're, you are renewed. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's nerve wrack.

I feel like, yeah, when I think about it from like the, yes, of course there are times that it was frustrating and challenging and you beat yourself up and it is like a full, you know, you're jumping through mental hoops all of the time, every week, right? But it's also a job like where you're getting to be creative every week. You're getting to come up with ideas and execute them. You're getting to use your own specific voice. Yeah. And that, I don't know what else exists like that.

You know what I mean? And like, I do love doing all of those. That's what I do. Right. Right. Yeah, exactly. Like today, we dropped off my kid at preschool. And like my day outside of this, the only thing I have, I don't have anything planned.

So it's like, I'm just thinking of like things I want to make. Yeah, yeah. And that is a job where like you have to make something every week. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So it was, I really love that component. I love. the people

Who was your crew? So when I came in I don't know the list I feel like the main people At the time were like Kate McKinnon Cessley Strong Beck Bennett I had done comedy

I was in a sketch group with 80 Bryant Keenan has always been there obviously Bobby Moynihan Taryn Killam Who were your best friends Beck? Vanessa Bayer

Yeah Beck is like Yeah We have a podcast together called What's Our Podcast? It's very funny. Oh, that's nice of you to say. Yeah. Because you guys were friends from school? Yeah, we went to college together.

Right. So we met. And then you started your sketch group off of that? Yeah, yeah. So we auditioned for, we both got on the same improv group in college. Right. And then we had, you know, I don't want to, I feel like I'm being braggadocious by saying this, but we had good chemistry in our first.

friend Nick Rutherford as well. And so... Was it mostly you? Like me bringing the chemistry? I wouldn't... I don't want to say things like that out loud, but I feel like I do bring... I carry a lot of the way.

I think that's what it said in the bio. I feel like it's said... There's so many specific things in this bio. But we just felt like we had a good rapport. Yeah. So when school ended, it was like the beginning of YouTube. And so we were like, let's make comedy together. And we did live shows, but we mostly focused on making videos.

And it was myself, Beck, and Nick and my friend Dave. Right. And, yeah, I don't know. How did I? You asked me if Beck was my best friend. Yeah, was he your best friend at S&L? Yeah. Because that was like your class.

And who was your crew? I mean, everybody I mentioned, I feel close to. That's cool. And there are other people. And, like, I truly loved everybody there. But, yeah, back I shared an office. It was such a cool class. Oh, thank you.

It was such a, like, it doesn't seem like there's a lot of assholes in that class. No. You know what I mean? It seems like a group that got each other and was pretty joyful from the outside. Yeah, and we experienced, I mean, like, it was sort of a crazy, I think we had the end of Obama's last term. Trump coming into office and COVID and Biden. That was all while it was there. Yeah.

But no, it was, I wish I could say something super unique about my time there. I think it was what I just said that at times very difficult, but also like I feel so blessed. Yeah. And the fact that I've like maintained a friendship. with Beck is I feel we work now arguably more closely than we ever have because we're doing this podcast together

and I see them every week. The fact that like that has maintained to me is awesome. Yeah, that doesn't happen a lot. Yeah. Right? Even like when you're a fan of like TV shows and you're like, oh, that'd be cool.

I wonder if they're still friends and nine times out of ten they're not. I mean, they'll see each other or whatever. But as a fan, you're always rooting for it but it never really seems to happen. Yeah, I guess there's... Yeah. I mean, I, maybe the time has sort of actually helped us

because we have learned, you know, we shared an office together. And I should say, there are also many writers at the show that, like, I spent a lot of time with Fran Gillespie is a close friend, Will Steve and I wrote a lot with as well, a bunch of other people. But yeah, you do get to learn, like, you're these, these, are each other's quirks,

in a very intense way. And so like maybe all that time, all of those have settled in. It's like, okay, this is how we're going to, I'm going to respond or he's going to respond. And there's just sort of like an understanding. Do you remember the first time that you got something on that you were like really excited about? Like it felt like this is a big enough role or a funny enough thing. And it actually gets on that week. Does that moment kind of stand out or is it?

I got something on my very. the very first show. Oh, yeah. I got like an update on. And it was a surreal experience. I mean, I can't, I don't know that it was like, I would never watch this piece. But like, I sort of, I felt myself being on Saturday Night Live. Like, I felt like I was the audience member watching it, do what I mean?

And I was like almost puppeteering my body. You know, it didn't feel fully real. Uh-huh. But I do think that what it's interesting that like the process of you know writing something and then trying to get it on and then if it does get on like that's awesome. You never know how it's going to play. That's its own thing. But almost every piece I wrote, I always felt like at the beginning of the week like, oh, this is going to be fucking huge. This is going to change my career. And it really never does that. You know what I mean? It never is as viral or as, you know, massive as you kind of. Yeah. dream it to be. Yeah. But then, yeah, there were times where it's like, I, you know, I'm sure you've experienced versions of this where like, oh, this is something special is happening in real time. Right. And you can like feel it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Like it's an actual, some magic is kind of crept in. It's like, yes, the audience is there. We, we have, whatever

our like rapport on stage is happening and you can feel like it's playing for the camera. Like, There were moments where it's like, this is, this is awesome. Yeah. Did you enjoy the anniversary of it all? Did you get to? I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it weird?

Was it, were you filled with pride that you were around all these gigantic people? That was the 50th. Yeah, absolutely. And I was there, the 40th occurred while I was on. Well, you're on. So I've been to two of them. That's got to be pretty trippy. For me, it was like, I was working in the lead up to that show and afterwards.

I was shooting a movie. And so, like, I didn't really let loot. Like, it's like, everybody was staying out. You know, there were these big parties. I have to work tomorrow. So I didn't, like, let loose, I feel like, in the way some people got to. But overall, I mean, I got to be in the show, which was really special. And, like, nobody has, they don't have to put me in there.

There's so many names to include. so like that did feel special just to be thought about is special yeah yeah yeah you just weren't forgotten yeah yeah let's talk about your music career uh i hear from i don't know if was in your bio but uh can i can you send me the bio use a lot of use a lot of AI in your music right um that's not true Oh, it's not? No, no, no, no. I actually...

I know it wasn't just the bio. I've seen clips about it. No, no, no. I write, produce. I play every single instrument on my own. There was a music video that was produced for one of my songs. The song is called Digital Society. And I had a friend, his name, named Riley, who told me.

me he would attempt to make a music video for me. I was like, oh, this is cool. And he said, oh, and there's this new technology. I didn't, I wasn't even, I was barely listening, but he, I believe he did use AI for the music video. But this is not something, you know, I take no ownership over this. So not all, all of your music doesn't get run through AI or get created through AI. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. No way. No, in fact, I was actually playing with my guitar yesterday. Uh-huh. Yeah.

All right. I really love the one, I don't know, I don't think this one was AI, unless were you not really in front of the Disney castle? Honestly, I've never spoken about this. So this is, yeah, I put up this video on Instagram, singing to one of my songs, a Christmas song. and the song is called Winter's Wish. And I... Actually, my wife filmed me in front of the castle at Disneyland. And I get...

How's the sound so good? Well, that's the actual track. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, it's like a music video. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm lip syncing. But not AI. I promise you.

My friend Riley used AI one time. There's been no... I have not used... I do not use AI. I do not actively use AI. Okay. But, yeah, I like, I like going to Disneyland. And, like, I actually, I was nervous to put it out there.

I don't want to get in trouble. Right. Yeah. Well, I guess it's, yeah, I don't think. Did you, do anyone come? No. And they just like me. I think that there's a lot of people that shoot video.

Like, there's a lot of sort of, like, I guess you can't have a selfie stick there, but there's a lot of, like, self-production. Right. kind of influencer type media being made there. Your relationship with Tim, Tim Heideker, who was here on the program. Oh, yeah.

And is it a friendship? Is it as antagonistic as it seems? Is it? I liked him. I think he has, he can say some mean things and

I feel like we've buried the hatchet but like yeah no we're definitely friends yeah and you know I would like to work with him

you put him in one of your movies he's in both he's in both Briggsibere and Y2K oh yeah you think he'd be publicly he'd be nicer to you I'd like

I hope you know we if this is too much we could take a break no I think there's just a buildup of phlegm inside of my do you need a snack

we have snacks here no I'm good okay I feel good yeah I think we're gonna I think that that's gonna see be sort of a situation where like the future

you know we'll see how things play out do what I'm saying I can't speak for Tim. I can speak for myself, and that's just that I love Tim. I love his work. And I hope, I think that we've worked through all of our issues. Right. But who's to say?

It's a weird relationship, because a lot of times when people put you in projects, like you've done with him. They're typically grateful. They're really grateful, yeah. And they're like, oh, I'm going to. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't see it become an antagonistic relationship very often. Yeah. No, no, I'm surprised by the reaction, definitely. But he's an artist. I'm an artist. Yeah. Do you think that's what part of it is? And maybe not even just with Tim, but when you, you know, Tim's really likes making music as well.

Yeah. And he probably maybe felt safe with you as a filmmaker and a comedian, but then when you started breaking out as a musician, maybe got a little threatened by that? I don't feel it's my place to surmise that. I do, I could believe the idea that maybe he is affected. He put out music before me. I can see him feeling like that is, you're stealing my thing, you know what I mean? We're already running on similar paths, and now you're like truly like kind of taking something that was uniquely mine.

Right, yeah. So I get that and I understand. I would like to think our music is very different. But yeah, I can't speak for why, you know, he acts the way he does. Yeah. It's weird because if you were just to create music but you weren't so close, it'd just be like every day, someone's putting music out and doing that, but because you're close,

and you sometimes think, oh, maybe this is, you know, maybe he's just copying me. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's a, I mean, like, what we do, I mean, like,

I feel like, I don't know, I don't know how similar our circles are that we exist in, right? But, you know, the stand-up community is ultimately a small circle, right? Yeah. And so you probably feel it when somebody is doing something, I don't know whether it's a bit, or like that feels like it's using your essence or something like that. You know what I mean? I feel like whatever you want to call what I do and what Tim does, like we're, there are not many of us. You know what I mean? So I think it's little, it is, you feel it a little more when like, you know, I guess when I were to make a move like that and I'm like, I'm going to put my sort of hat in the music game. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, when you're really good at it, it's hard to not ruffle some feathers.

That really means a lot, Tom, and, yeah, it is something that it's been my dream to make music. And, you know, you never know how people are going to receive it. But to hear that, like, I don't know, it just, it validates it. So I do really thank you for saying that. Yeah. Well, it says it in your bio. Great. When you're right now in this space of creating stuff

and what is the thing that's bubbling up to the surface right now? As I talk to you? No, just generally. In the car on the way over. Are you thinking, like, it's, I want to do more sketch stuff? Do I want to go after another film? Like, it seems to me, like, you've, I'm not your manager,

but you've got the two really good films under your belt. Yeah. Like, do you feel like you want to keep that going, or do you want to go and do something else? I definitely, yeah, I have, I've got these two movies I've written, and I would love to make both of them, obviously. Yeah. I kind of like, I don't know how you feel.

For me, it's like I have to support myself and my family. So that sort of probably comes first, you know what I'm saying? And, you know, in a perfect world, like, I'm supporting myself and us by doing things that I want to be making that our mind. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I think... Does your child eat a lot? I think she had, yes.

So far we're doing good, I think. Yeah. But that's... So I kind of have to balance, like, I always want to have my own things that I'm working on, but I also have to, like, think practically, like, how can I get paid? Do you know what I mean?

Does it rhyme with Dancing with the Stars? If they would reach out, I mean, again, how do you force these things to happen? Do you what I mean? Yeah. Well, we've been playing around with the idea of a vision board just for, like, the show, for, like, everyone here who works on the show.

I have, yeah, I have friends who, for 2026, create vision boards, yeah. Have you done one? I've never done it. What would be on your vision board for 2026? For just, for this year? Just, okay. Yeah, just this year. I have a dollar number that I don't want to say out loud.

But I would probably just, if I could cut that out of a magazine, I would probably paste that. Is it less than or greater than a million dollars? Less than. Okay. I mean, I would love, maybe I should make that division, though. Well, I know. This is the problem with life, right? Like, if you're humble, you're like, I don't want to put a million dollars on there.

Right. You know, I don't know. I'll put $200,000 now. Right. But then you see people in life who don't live that way with any humility, and they're like, F that, 10 million. Yeah. Let's go. You know what I mean?

But then you, yes. And those people seem to get shit done. Yeah, I believe that. But I would say, like, I think that when I don't hit anywhere near 10 million, it's going to really hurt my feelings. Right. I'm saying. Like, that's the way my brain works. So I do think that, like, setting the bar low, there is something to be said about setting the bar low.

Realistic. Yeah. All right. Is it greater than or less than 500,000? I don't. This, I'm not going to. All right. So we have a dollar amount?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. What else you're cutting out of a magazine and putting on your vision board? An image of like a muscular man. Okay. Someone who works for you? No, I would become.

Oh, you be a muscular man. Oh, for you to be a muscular man. Do you lift weights? Well, I hurt my wrist, so I haven't really been going to the gym. But I would like, yes, I should, I want to. I have. But not seriously in the way that, like, I think that the vision would help that. Yeah, for sure. I don't want to divert too much.

But I've been thinking of taking this podcast and making a little more bro-y because it's been like the bro podcast. And they seem to be flailing a little recently because of their political choices and having to eat crow about certain things. So I feel like there's an opportunity to get a little more broie. And maybe we can kind of like get some of the people who peel off of those shows. So if you don't mind if we can just for a minute, just talk about our routines. Yeah, yeah. And the routine, our workout routines?

Yeah. Sure. Like, are you cold plunging? Are you hot showering? Give me your daily. Yeah. You wake up at what time? Wake up at 4 a.m.

Okay. Hit the treadmill immediately. I'll do three or four hours of weights. Oh, whoa. See my family. for 30 to 45 minutes. Right. Get back in there.

So this is like round eight in the morning? Yes. At the time you see your family. See my family. Do, you know, help out with packet of lunches. Back out. Hit the swimming rectangle. The rectangle of water.

Hit that. plop out, dry myself off. Have you eaten anything at this point? A couple steaks. Yeah. Wait, now you go. I get up. I have to have coffee first.

First off, just how I roll. But I'm putting some kind of mushroom powders in it. Because I hear that's really... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're supposed to really do it. And butter, you're supposed to put butter in it? Yes. butter, not just like your regular coffee.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, I know. And put some butter in it. And down that. And then I get on the Peloton just for an hour warmup, just to like kind of get the blood going. Yep. Just get into the mind-body connection. Yep.

Kind of thing. Then I usually go out in the back and I skeet shoot. Nice. For a little bit. I actually have a few boys who have been doing that. Yeah. It's pretty good. And that, yeah, and that also does, I feel like that does a lot for sort of, just engagement with the top core.

Top core, yes, sir. Get your top core going. A lot of the neighbors have been complaining, but I kind of just work that into my routine, argue with the neighbors for an hour. Okay, that happens daily. Like some of your, some of your shotgun shells are coming into my yard. Right. You know, my kids are trying to go to school. So I argue with that guy for a bit.

Just kind of get it up, you know, let them know who's boss. Who's boss? Yeah. And then same thing, two stakes. Cool. Well, we should kick it sometime and sort of like kind of. Totally. Do you know Randall?

Does he go by RJ? Yes. Yeah, I know RJ. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's really cool. He's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your vision board?

Guy with muscles, a dollar amount. What else you're putting up there? You don't have to be as bro we know. You can just go back to that. No, no, yeah, no, I'm thinking. I feel like I could have, we could, I could have helped button that whole thing better than just the Randall stuff.

Oh. But do you feel okay about it? No, I hear you. You mean RJ? You mean RJ? Yep. Totally, totally down with him. And you know what?

You know what he's taught me? What's that? Like, it's, you could totally, I don't think it makes you any less of a guy if you join a choir. Yes. I think that's what I've learned from RJ the most. That's my afternoon, though.

I don't want you to think I'd do that in the morning. Yeah, no, RJ's always singing a song. All right, now we go. Yeah, we should understand that. Okay, vision board. What else is on the vision board? I haven't heard anything creative. I hear dollar amount.

I hear you with no shirt on. Oh, well, that's interesting, because like, yeah, I guess like in theory, what I should have like a movie camera or like a piano on there or something like that? Yeah, something. Can it just be a, how about just a paintbrush to sort of represent everything?

All right. Yeah, yeah. It's your vision. For this, for just the year of 2026, like I feel like I want to be artistic. Right. But I don't know that I need to like say like, oh, I have to have a movie made this year

or have a TV series picked up. Generally, I want to know that I'm actively making stuff and creating stuff. Right. I think. Without knowing what that stuff is. See, again, I feel like it's getting into that thing of like, if I'm too specific, then I could let myself down. But maybe I'm thinking, I've never made one.

Maybe I'm thinking about this all wrong. What do you think? I think you shouldn't be scared to be specific. Okay. You know, if you want to write a book, put it up there. Okay.

You know, if you want to make music, put it up there. And maybe you don't get there, maybe you don't make a film this year, but you do certain other things that lead you. Okay. It's okay. Not everything has to happen.

Then I, yeah. You're asking the universe. It's really on the universe whether or not this stuff goes down. Okay, I'd like all those things on there. Yeah, which things? See, I feel, Even in this moment, I feel like saying them out loud.

I'm like, I feel like there's a record of it. Yeah. You could say it. I mean, if you don't ask, it doesn't happen. Can I hear you say it? Yes. A version of yours? Oh, shit, mine?

Yes. Well, all right. I think there's a boat on there. Okay. I don't know if it's, if I get the boat or if I just get into, more boating or whatever, but... Okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah. A boat? Yes. I'd like to be in a movie. Okay. So maybe me acting. Yes. Dollar amount.

Okay. For sure. Okay. That makes me feel good. Yeah. Like, I'm not... No, I think it's good to have that. To me, the vulnerable thing you said was like, I want to be in a movie.

And that's the thing that I'm, like, avoiding saying. Right. But yes, I would like, here, I mean, generally, like, this is my, like, life goal. Okay. And I will be honest about this. Okay. I would love to have a steady gig where in which I could also, like, on the side, be able to make my own things. Do you what I'm saying?

Yes. So you're getting paid. You have the security of doing something creative that's paying you. Yes. And then. Hopefully, like, there's a summer off or whatever, hiatus is or something where I get to spend that time working on what is distinctly mine. Do you know what I'm saying?

Got it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that out loud. And how would we, like, what images would we use to put on the board for something like that? That feels like a sentence. Yeah. I would say, I would put like maybe you with Ted Lassow. Or, I see. So, right, right. Yeah. Or you and, um, can I, can it be like me with, like on the set of cheers?

Or. Yeah. Like you're next to norm on the, on the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so because that's, yeah, you grew up with that. You know what that means. Yes. You know, they don't make a lot of those shows now, but yeah. But it, but why not?

And it doesn't, it doesn't need to be like a traditional, like, multi-cam sitcom, but the spirit of having a gig. What's wrong with asking for a gig? In this modern day when there's like five of them. Right. Like it's crazy. Yes. You know, and there are ways, you know, it's coming back.

There's different shows out there. I just had a pitch. We were just talking off camera. I just had a pitch last week that is going to go nowhere. But I tried. Yeah. I put it out there. And you went to, so you went to multiple studios.

No, just the first one. Just one. You're only doing one, or you will go to more. We're going to go to more, but this was the first one. And how comfortable to feel about talking about it? You don't need to pitch. We can talk about it. I won't name it, but...

You spent time developing this idea with somebody? With somebody. And how much time do you spend? Months. Okay. And... Not every day, but months. And it's like you start, hey, I think...

I got this idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so funny. You want to... Work on this with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're now at the point where like you feel like the main part of the work is kind of done.

The initial phase is done. And now it's like, let's go out with this. It's good. Let's go tell some people about it and see if they want to make it. And do you go to like your reps and be like, what do you think about this? Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, okay, we'll make some calls and set up some things.

Yeah. And then they set up the first one. And it was okay. Right. It was all right. Yeah. It was on us, though. What do you think?

Yeah, we could have been fun. here. The problem is when you're making comedies, we were just talking about this, when you're making comedies, it's just got to be fun. The whole thing's got to be fun. And we got to tool into what it really means and the workings of it. Rather than like, which you need, right? If you're going to make something, they want to know you're competent. But like, we got a little too into that. Whereas like there's a version where you go in there and just like, you're making them laugh the whole time. You kill. It doesn't even fully matter. Like, you kill. The like, you're like, you're minutia of the universe or whatever.

I guess so many people like us have had those experiences, but it is so specific. And like that I can like kind of feel that feeling of like wanting to score in that room. Like here we go. Come on. Let's make this of it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And then yes. And then you're kind of like, you did okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've had every version of. I have, I feel like crushed in those rooms.

And I've also like, I've like, been like, I have one very distinct memory where like we were pitching. It just didn't feel like in the room we had sold it. Yeah. So one of us, like kind of added another piece of information. Like that was like fully, uh,

full tangent from the pitch that we had just done. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then, or maybe they, uh, can be shrunk down in size. And it's like,

you know, sort of like totally, something at it. Yeah, exactly. Something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I always think of, I was think of Steve Martin had said about doing stand-up that he quickly

learned the set went as well as he felt on the way home. Right. You can't kind of really figure it all out. But if you're driving home in a good mood, that set went well. Yes. If you're going and you're like, convincing yourself that it went well, probably didn't as great as you wanted it to. I kind of had, I carry that

a lot. Yes. So like when I left the pitch, I was like, hmm, I was thinking a little much like, yeah, something happened. Because the show is really funny and it's really, it's really good and thought out and stuff. But it was just the delivery of what we were trying to convey was like

right. Well, that's the nice thing that you have more opportunities. Yeah. And you keep it up on your vision board. But don't you also think, in terms of that Steve Martin idea, which I hadn't, I feel like I've not heard that direct quote, but I've heard versions of, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, when you're doing, when you're doing a show, sometimes you leave in a shitty mood, right?

Mm-hmm. Because of whatever. Like, you didn't say a line the way you wanted to or, like, one bit didn't play, like, it usually does. Or somebody said something in the audience that, like, sort of derails. something. There are times where like I feel very shitty

with what I did. But it very well could have been a great show though. Right. So like I hear that idea that like that's true. The way you feel is sort of what it was. But I think that there are times where that's not necessarily true

for the audience memory. Like they might have liked that pitch. Yes. They might be thinking about it right now. Yeah. And I just felt like I didn't Yeah, yeah, because there's times like I'll do a show and I just in my own head wasn't feeling. I was thinking, I was distracted in the middle of the show, thinking about other stuff and had to keep fighting myself to get back on track.

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for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Papa. Now back to the show. What else is going to be on your vision board? Oh, I keep on thinking, like, I have a vision. We've been talking about vision boards for a food-related thing. Oh, yeah? But I don't know what it means.

What do you mean? That's a thing. I just like, oh, I feel like there should be a picture of pasta on there, but I'm like, why? I don't know what the means. behind it is. Like, maybe it's just that I want to eat some good meals in the, what is this? This is provolone. A plastic's facsimile, but that's provolone. Maybe the food thing is some kind of Tom Kyle collab. Yeah. I mean, I like to eat food. I love it. I feel like I'm like, yeah,

I don't indulge in the ways I always want to. Uh-huh. Like, I feel, I feel, I, I feel, I, feel bad for indulging. What do you mean? Like I feel like I can only have like a big pasta like once a week maybe or something like that. Instead of like someone who just doesn't care and eats and drinks all the time. I know. Well, but you don't seem like a guy that it struggles with weight. Uh, you know, I was, uh, I was a big kid growing up. So I feel like that's probably affected me in some way or another. I was too. Yeah. So I always feel fat. Yeah. Always. Even when I'm not as fat. Yeah.

I'm always fat. Right. Which is, that's essentially what body dysmorphia is, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. What do you see when you look at me? Do you see a fat guy? Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry, I didn't say anything. No, you look great. And also... No, I'm just asking. Because body dysmorphia doesn't let you see yourself. To me, I mean, you look very good, but I also think that, like... I also want to say that all shapes are good. Do you know what I'm saying?

But your shape is great. So you're saying I should lose... a little. I'm, I actually, I'm not saying any of that. Like 10. I think where you're at is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, I want to be in another place. I want, I want you to, I want you to be happy. I don't want you to hurt yourself, but I want you to be happy. Mm-hmm. That sounds like I should lose some weight. No, I didn't say that. When you see me, do you think athlete? When you see me, do you think, uh, chef? Well, I mean, like, you offered me bread.

I said, when I see, if I, like, if you're like in front of a white psych right now and I'm, and I have no context clues, right? What am I thinking? I would not, I wouldn't immediately think athlete. Right. But like, it's probably just because you're wearing glasses or something like that. I don't think it speaks to the nature of your physique necessarily. I feel like it speaks to your aura and presence.

But that could be unfair. Were you an athlete growing up? I was an athlete growing up, which is very funny. Yeah. in all seriousness. Yeah. I was chubby when I was a kid, like really little. I was probably only, you know what's so weird?

I only probably had a year or two of being chubbier than normal. But I always carry that I'm fat because of that. Right. And but then I was an athlete. My whole life I was an athlete. Yeah. And I was in high school, I was captain of the football team. and I was in track, and I was a real...

Captain of the football team? Yeah. What position did you play? Fullback. Wow. Running back. And I was the captain. I was also funny, but I was an athlete.

I was the captain of the football. And I meet people now. And whenever I say I played football, they go, they totally don't see the old version of me being an athlete with... Do you still feel a little bit of? I do feel some, yeah, somewhat. Are your kids? But it's very funny. It's like a whole other existence of my.

Yeah. Yeah. People don't look at me. And I blame the glasses too. I mean, John, do you think athlete? Sure. You do? Sure.

As a guy that. As an adult, I could see you being an athlete as a kid. You could have been fast. Mm-hmm. Do you think I'm fat? No, I don't think of that. Yeah, no one says it with confidence. I think I have to lose 10 pounds, right, Danielle?

How often do you step on a scale? I've been stepping on, like, every two days recently, because I have been trying to lose weight. You think it should be more often? Oh, my gosh. Do you, you said you can't, you started this off with you saying that you can't eat cost all the time. Yeah, that's true.

Why not? Because you look like a guy, when I look at you, I see a skinny guy that can, eat anything. Right. Interesting. Yeah. I think because, yeah. When I've watched you through the years on S&L in your movies, I'm like, must be fun to be skinny and just having a good time. That's a guy that stops off at Taco Bell on his way home without a, without Nary a care in the world. No, I think I've got my own problems with like kind of, if I were to have to go, if I were to go to Taco Bell at the end of the night or something like that, I'd have to make up for it the next day,

like on a jog or something. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So we all suffer. But that's, like, on my birthday, I'll go hard. Or on Sunday, you know, when I was at SNL, Sundays are our only days off. So I would go really hard on Sundays.

And, like, we would make a day of it, and we would do this, I mean, like, it's corny sounding. But, you know, we would have what we called Sunday fun days. And we would, like, sometimes they were, heavily curated and it's right and themed but it would be like you know sometimes an activity like going to like an amusement center mini golf type thing uh-huh going to bars going to restaurants and like getting to live like a full uh new york life in an indulgent new york life you know for one day that's great yeah and i do that a little bit on the weekends now it's fun currently yeah i know

there's a price to pay for living that way. I watched Charles Lawton. You know Charles Lawton? That actor from the 40s. Yes. Something the trial, something trial. Great movie. So good.

And he's sitting there, like the beginning of it is he's getting out of the hospital. He's a lawyer. He's a really brilliant lawyer in London. And he gets out of his hospital with his nurse, played by his real-life wife. And he's in the car. He's got a little blanket on his, on his lap. And his chins, his under, he's, he has like 12 double chins all into one chin, just hound dog, just bulldog just underneath him.

And he's got big pudgy things. And this is the character he's playing as someone who's smoking cigars and sneaking whiskey and doing all this stuff. And, but I'm looking at this guy, this actor, Charles Lawton. Yeah. With just like a jellyfish, just like a. of just chubsy-ubsy-winson Churchill. This guy is not saying to his friends back then, if I go hard tonight, I'm going to have to really pay tomorrow.

Right. You know what I mean? Yes. Oh, the freedom of that. Yeah. The freedom just to let yourself go. But the problem is, I think if you do let yourself go that way, you do have to go all in.

You can't be somewhere in the middle. Right. I think we're somewhere in the middle. Do you? Yeah. I think that's probably true. Do you, sometimes I think that like, do you ever feel like, it's like, this is kind of a crazy claim, but I'm going to say it. Go ahead.

I'm like, maybe I have one daughter. She's two and a half. So I've got, and you have grown kids. Yeah. Right. In their 20s, early 20s. So I'm like When she's

An adult And like when I am no longer And she's not in the house I wonder like See I wonder if I if I if I run your position That would be the moment when I'd give up Let it go And like maybe even do heroin or something like that

Yeah I think about that all the time Yeah Yeah But I don't think it's until I'm like 80 Yeah maybe that's probably right I think it's really do you do think about that Oh yeah

Yes yeah Yeah No, when I get to that age, I'm going to, and I don't have to look good or feel good. Right, because you still do need to maintain a career. Like, there's, unfortunately, there are some standard you're trying to fit in your head. Totally. Yeah, yeah. At that, there's going to come a day where you're not going to care at all.

That is, to me, yeah, that is just thinking about it. It's exciting. I know. That needs to be on our vision board. Yeah, right. A big piece of cake. Yes. A syringe of hair.

heroin. You just, yeah, like one of those like Marlboro, like long boxes. Carton, carton of smokes. Yeah, that's what I want to do. Yeah, live like that all the time. I know. That would be so great, so freeing. Yeah. You get diabetes and diarrhea. So when you got kids around, you don't want to do it too early, I guess. Yes. You know? Yeah, would you feel like a pressure to sort of ask permission from of your kids or like let them know like I'm about to go off I was thinking about this the other day because there's this great writer Jim Harrison who is I might have it in my Kindle do you know Jim Harrison? No I don't he was this great writer and he used to write book articles for Esquire about eating like you read him he's doing

everything we're talking about that you want to do with your life of just eating and drinking and just living your life like a madman. And he would get bottles of wine and all of this amazing stuff and he could not stop himself. And I read his obituary in the New York Times. He died like in early 70s. I read his obituary and it made me want to live this way. Really? Yeah. I was like, this guy really lived his life. Like he really... Do you know how he died? Was it? Yeah, you got diabetes. Yeah, okay.

So it was directly related to his last time. Oh, totally. Yeah. Yeah, totally related. Hunter S. Thompson is another one. He kind of was going off. I don't know about like eating pasta, like consuming chemicals. And they're talking now that it might be, there's people that think that he might have been murdered.

I saw that. Now, was he shot out of a rocket? Or like, was there some sort of? What do you mean? Like, they put him physically in a murder? rocket or like a cannon maybe like his ashes maybe I'm imagining that yeah yeah yeah here's Jim Harrison okay this is a really oh and he looks very he looks genuinely happy it's called a really big lunch and he talks about these decadent lunches that he would have with his friends and just the best

wine and sent to him by restaurateurs and people who just would feed him and this guy lived he really lived. So in answer your question, asking my daughters for permission, I saw this the other day. And I thought, I think I don't ask for permission. I just slowly transition into this guy. You know what I mean? I mean, like, if I was your child, I would be excited. You would. Yeah, I think I would want to introduce you to my, like, friend. Because there is going to come a stage where, you know, you're going to choose what kind of an older guy you're going to be. Absolutely. And you can, you know, that guy, yes, that guy's having fun. Yeah.

People want to come visit this guy. Yes. If I'm like dyeing my hair and trying to stay young. Right. They're not going to want to hang with that guy. No, you have the opportunity to be like the fun old man that it's like. Oh, Tom is awesome. He's awesome.

Yes. And let it go. Like I doubt Letterman ever asked this kid, like, I'm going to grow my beard. It's going to be a three-footer. Right. You know, you probably just did. do it. Yeah.

It's, yeah. You'd be so happy. You'd be so, like if you did that. Yes, but it's also like, isn't there so much tragedy associated with it that like, just the amount like that it seems feels so far away? The tragedy in the way we're living now? That like, yeah, that like we can't have that yet. That it's decades.

I know. Or. I know. Or. Or. I know. a sense of where you're going. You put it on the vision board and make it happen in 2026. You put that picture. Maybe that's, maybe like subconsciously that's what the picture of the pasta

was, because that is a good vision, is to like, kind of like open myself up to indulging and allowing myself that. The way of my mind works is like, I feel like I need to, it has to be a reward. Do you know what I mean? Me too. I can't just like do it. No, I don't. I don't, I have. I I just added, so silly, but I added cookies to my rider on the road. Oh, yeah. And we, because it's always like crudite and like some, you know, fruit and whatever. And we added cookies on it from a bakery because I bake all the time. I'm known for baking.

So we added cookies and choose, grab us a cookie from a local bakery that you think is good. And it's fun. It's open to their interpretation of what a good cookie is, whether they care or not, whatever. But when we come in and there are these cookies, cookies on a plate, I can't eat it until the set's over. After the show. Right. I think I'm going to earn that cookie.

Yeah. This is, I think that, I think we're entering a good place because like, I think that metaphorically, what I need to do or what I would like to do is take a bite of that cookie before the set. That's what I need to like work on. Do you know Fortune Feimster? A little bit. Well, but yeah, very funny.

We're co-hosts on this radio show. Oh, cool. We've come to know each other really well. Yeah. She's a friend. And she lives that way. That's, yeah. She will go out for dinners before her show.

She'll go with her friend to a dinner in that town. Go have a dinner. There's fans around or whatever. She doesn't care. She'll have an old-fashioned. Jeez. And then she's just enjoying Kansas City. and then she walks over to the theater, does the show, and just, and I think about that freedom

when I'm in my dressing room with some celery sticks going over my notes. Oh, God. Yeah. Hoping that I'm going to do a good show. So we're like similar types. Yeah. You're like, you're anxious. I'm anxious about doing a good job.

Yeah. I'm not superstitious anxious. I am, you know what? I think I am anxious. I always tell myself I'm not. But when I go to the dentist, they're always like, stop clinch. your jaw. Right. And when I got a massage the other day and I hadn't had one in forever and she's like, you are so tight on your left side. She kept telling me, just relax. Just breathe.

She was telling me to relax and I'm like, I'm chill, man. I'm good. And I'm not. Right. I don't think I'm like, no, I physically can feel how not relaxed you are. Right. Exactly. And I'm like, no, I'm good. You know, you're not. Right. But I look at you and I think, chill. all your characters there's a little anxiety to your characters but there's also a go with it go with the flow kind of a guy yeah that's not reality

I did shows this past summer I did music shows and I did like I played some music and I also did some characters and showed some videos and it's the most like extensive like I guess outside of Saturday Night Live like live work I've done in a long time.

You know what I mean? And like the closest I've ever been to like being on the road or something like that. And I fully can hear what you're saying. Like it's like I had the opportunity to do that version where like you go off in Minneapolis like before the show. Yeah. But similarly like yeah, I need to like run the whole thing. Like I probably ran the show like over the course of the day leading up to it, the shows at APM. Yeah.

I've probably ran the show two to three times on my own, to my own head, you know what I mean? Or like with headphones in or something like that. Yeah. And I'm doing, I did 20 of them. Like, I did that for every show. You know what I mean? I like, I know. There's a part of you that should be able to.

Like, by now I know it. I got it. It's going to be fine. I feel like I need to do, like, if I didn't do that, sometimes I would feel like, oh, actually, I'm having to reach for something that, like, if I had fully done the work, I wouldn't have to reach for it. Yeah. I agree with that, especially when it's a piece that you're working on and tweaking. Yes.

You know, changing the order, doing whatever. Yeah. It's, I can't let that go. I can't let that go. But I think there is just in general, like take it away from just being in front of the, in the backstage ready to go on. Just put it in your general life. I feel like fortune's attitude of enjoying herself a little bit. bit more and it's yeah it it conveys to me confidence yeah a real confidence that it's going to be

fine yes yes yeah yeah and like yes i was a wreck in here right before you got here i was pacing back and forth going through my notes don't you i yeah how much nicer is it to say like i had i allowed myself to have a nice time rather than like i worked so hard and like stressed so much Yeah, but we're also in the unique position of working really hard at really stupid fun shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yes, there's a funny irony to that. Yeah. Why am I stressing over like the perfect fart joke? Yeah. Do you wish you had gone out on the S&L anniversary and let it go? Or do you feel better looking back thinking, no, I did good work because I had work the next day and I played it smart.

It says something that that's like my first takeaway. that I talk about, you know what I mean? Like, it's not like, oh, I got to be around, like, almost every famous person alive. You know what I mean? It's like, I just couldn't go off as hard as I wanted to go. Right. Yeah. But I do think, or I'll ask you, do you look back at that exact story and think you're

happier, you're ultimately happier for making the choice that you had made? like because you did get to do good work and accomplish whatever you're going to do I think I had like a monologue like to do on camera the next if the, I think was the show on a,

I don't know if the show was on a Saturday or Sunday. I feel like it was a Sunday. Okay, so then maybe yeah, I might have had work on Monday but maybe there's a day. Maybe I had like a day to recoup. I think it's tough to say

because maybe I would have been just as good at that monologue if I had allowed myself to go off a little bit you know what I mean? Or you go off a little bit and you flub a line and it's not as good

and there's a struggle and you regret it. Yeah. Right? I feel good about I don't know, you can tell me what I said initially. I feel good about how it played out.

Right. I don't, the regret is not strong enough that like, I really missed an opportunity. Do you know what I mean? Totally. Because I did also have, get to create like new memories and like see people and like,

I got to still got to do the thing. Still got to do it. Yeah. Still around. Yeah. And there's, and you know, whatever feeling there is of being at a party with whoever, the most famous people or whatever, whatever feeling you could get at a party does not feel as good.

as hitting out of the park, doing your comedy. And feeling good about your work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That thing ultimately is, feels literally is more fun. Yeah. And you feel greater than, oh, that conversation went great. Yes. At the bar over the loud music.

Right. Absolutely. Right. It's really kind of silly. Yeah. And more beneficial to your career probably that, like, he was there. He did it. He crushed it.

Yeah. Right. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Okay. And I want to tell you how you influenced us. Okay, great. We've been doing some visual aspects of it because we thought it was pretty, we were photoshopping some funny things between, you know, our guests would do or whatever. And then we started using some AI because it was just the same as Photoshop.

Right. But we started to feel like the guests were starting to push back a little. Right. And because you've been accused so much of using AI and your music, we decided to not use AI today. I appreciate that.

And I think that the online community and artists around the world are going to appreciate that. Thank you. So did you? But we still have an uncomfortable moment. Okay, great. Let's do it. Yeah, I feel like I thrive

uncomfortable moments. I don't know about thrive, but I feel like I, is thriving doing well, or like kind of, it can thriving just be the baseline of like, I endure, I endure them. No, I think that's enjoyment. I think thriving is you're really good at it. Okay. You excel at it. Okay, yeah. I guess what I wanted to say is that like, I, I'm, I feel fine. I feel comfortable and uncomfortable moments, I think. Okay, well, that's good. So, you know, maybe it's not uncomfortable at all. You're a great filmmaker. You've made two really good comedies,

and you have a really good, I would say, voice signature to your films. Like both films have a real, they're very funny, and they also have this real sweetness to them. Thank you. They're emotionally present. And you're developing a style that I think is going to carry for your next films.

and when you make your next film, whenever that is on your vision board, whenever the next film happens, I want to be in it. Great. And sorry, is there, during the uncomfortable moment, should I just respond? Just be natural, yeah.

It's just a conversation. Like I said, it might not be uncomfortable. I think, if you say yes. Well, I don't know how much you were, I don't know how much you were setting up for this moment. I mean the whole Throughout this conversation But when I heard you say

That on your vision board It's Being in a movie is one of them I thought I liked that a lot And I think I made that connection Like oh Tom can be put in a movie

And I now Now you're within the bank of people That I can think about If I have the power To put people in a movie When you said Tom could be in a movie Yeah Is that different from being in

Like if you could have said it Oh Tom could be in my movie My movie My movie Well my initial when you said it out loud I was like oh that's awesome that like He wants to be in a movie Well I've been in movies

Yeah but you're but For this year That's you're right You don't know what it is No Yeah yeah No I don't know if I'll have a movie this year

But so I want you to get into a movie in 2026. Well, that's nice, but that's not really what I'm asking. I definitely am open to, yes. If you really want to, you've been so complimentary, I want to figure out a way to put you in one of my movies. That's all you can ask for in Hollywood. That's, yeah, that's, that's,

I feel like there are other things you could ask, yeah, that's the only thing you can ask for. What do you mean? the only thing you can ask is to put, can you put me in your movie? I'm trying to think. Like I'm friends with some movie star people. And I'm like,

I'd like to be in your movie. And they're like, well, yeah, let's see if Warner Brothers were to say, okay, and the casting director and the executives and the thing. Right. I feel like, uh, I feel like you make films where you're like, no,

I'm going to put, I'm going to put back in my movie. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I feel like you have more control. I always want to be whenever I can, and I do think about that when writing, like, oh, how can I get this person I love involved in this thing? And so I think you gave a great pitch.

And the thing, and like, from moment one, you've said very sweet things, which, I mean, like, it might be cheap, but it does endear me. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I was. And it sounds, it feels very earnest.

All that other stuff was, uh, had nothing to do with my ask of being in your movie. I really, I don't, I want to be clear. Yeah. All the stuff I really admire about you and your career and all that.

It's all, whether or not you put me in your next movie, uh, as the lead isn't, uh, I, it wouldn't change my feelings of all that stuff. Yeah.

That wasn't a play. Sure, sure, sure. Totally separate. But it does still naturally endear me. Do you what I mean? Yeah. When I'm casting a movie, it's always helpful to know like, oh, oh, we can get so-and-so. I think they're a fan of what we do.

You know what I mean? Sure. It is good to know that. Yeah. You don't want to be like, oh, that guy talks shit about me in the press. Yeah, or like even the fact that they're aware of who I am is incredibly helpful. Do you know what I mean? Right.

And that also means that you could probably like fit within that universe. Yeah. Because, like, you know, you want to be, there are certain times, like, you work with people and you're like, oh, so-and-so's doing this, that's going to be cool. Whatever, whether it's the biggest thing in the world or not, you know it's going to be a good piece of work. Right. Do you have an ideal role? Is there something that you, or like, it doesn't even have to be ideal. Like, well, what is the, is there something comes to mind? Yeah, I kind of feel like my, uh, my sweet spot is, um, a nice guy who's not so nice. Okay. You know what I mean? Like a guy who comes off is warm and fuzzy,

but he's ultimately, by the end of the film, you realize he was kind of an asshole. Right. Yeah, I like playing that. I don't want to influence your writing. Right. But I would keep that, if you want to keep that in mind, I would keep that in mind.

Maybe like a former athlete type scenario. Yeah, like a fat former athlete. Tom. What? Someone who can't be photographed from the side. That's not true. I feel like you're being photographed from the side right now. My whole objective with this podcast is trying to be, have the camera angle be more head-on.

Is that true? Yeah. And it happens maybe one out of five times. Happens more here than New York. You do this in both L.A. and New York. Yeah, mostly here. And do you recreate the same thing? No.

We do it upstairs at the comedy cellar, so it's a little, has a little bit of a restauranty vibe, but not as elegant as this. Do people comment on the stars? Once in a while. Not as often as you would think. Everyone gets here. You seem... Sorry, I forgot. No, go ahead. Well, you mentioned Charles Lawton, and I was listening to the episode with... Rob Riggle and you mentioned Turner Classic movies. Are you-

Did I talk about Charles Lotton during Riggle? No, just that you mentioned Turner Classic movie. You were like mentioned- Yeah, I do love that. So do you watch a lot of like classic film? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just watched Mutiny on the Bounty with Marlon Brando.

Yeah. And I was thinking maybe I should wear like a C-Captain jacket. Today. Just in general. Oh. They're really, they're cut like this, like a V, broad shoulders. Yeah. Vision board boat.

That's right. Everything is all coming together. I know. But then I was thinking, but then I would need to have Marlon Brando's face and then think about my act coming out of Marlon Brando as a sea captain. This doesn't seem as funny. Right. I mean, I don't, I'd have to see, I have to see the image of this outfit that Marlon Brando

is wearing because I can't recall it. Yeah. But I think you probably have a good sense of whether it would work or not. Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think I should. I wouldn't put Marlon Brando on my vision board. Okay.

But the boat's there. Do you have you ever owned a boat or operated a boat? No. What's weird is I've been getting seasick on boats in recent years. So it's strange that you would want of like kind of go boats. forward. Yeah. But I feel like a lot of guys who are successful that reach their dollar amount, they get a boat.

Right. They're not necessarily use it. Sometimes you go down the dock and just clean it, talk to the other guys. And would this be like a motor boat or a sailboat? No, motor. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think the problem with, does anyone here, can either of you pilot a boat?

The parking seems like the most difficult thing. Yeah. I know. That would almost, that's the type of thing that would probably intimidate me from even, like, approaching. Getting into the dock when everyone else is watching you. Ooh. Oh, try not to hit the pier. Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Or the other boats. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. That's why I don't think I take it out. I think I just hang out on, in the pier. Can you, you can probably, like, rent a person to captain to pilot your vehicle, right?

Yeah, I'm sure. If you hit that dollar amount, who cares, right? Right. 10 mil one year yeah get a couple guys probably yeah that's like yeah like having a private driver or something like that yeah what would you rather have a private driver or a chef oh man well here's the thing my wife is a good cook and i i i feel like a chef would step on something she loves doing Do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

But. It'd be pretty cool. Yeah. Just come out. I'm going to the podcast. But a lot of, like, my driving is driving my child. Like, does that feel funny that, like... You get to sit in the back with her.

Right. It's just, like, taking an Uber or something. Yeah. Have fun at school. Yeah. But then... Home jeeps. Are people judging us?

Do you think people care? They are judging you. But I would really, really, lean into it. Like, no, honey, he'll open the door for you. Then he gets to get out and come around with his cap on, open the door, let her out. He has a cap. Yeah. Right. That says Kyle on that. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Uh, go all in, like a real driver. What I will say about the chef, though, uh-huh. Is I am just curious about, like, what, what an artist like that, pretty, like, it's like, do, Is he curate or she or they, are they curating the menu?

Yeah, or is it like, can I have meatloaf tonight? Like, or is it both of that? Like, I'm intrigued by that. There's more, forgive me, like, and I don't want to say, I feel like this could be judgmental in somewhere or another. There is an artfulness to the home chef that I'm more intrigued by than like just being the driver. I'm not saying that being, like, I'm sure there's. There's no art to that.

Okay. I'm not going to say it. There's no art to that. No, you can be good at it, but it's not really an art. Yeah. I mean, he could be, have some wisdom, be a bit of a sage, give you advice, like not overstepping, but letting you know. Right, right.

Yeah. Well, Kyle, maybe two drinks is enough. Right. That kind of a thing. Yeah. But, yeah, no, the food, I think, is, is, I see the food thing being like, sometimes you're like, so what's on the menu tonight? Well, we're having salmon and rice.

That sounds wonderful. And they've done it and come up with the ideas and went to the farmer's market and picked what's fresh. But then there's probably some other days where you walk in and you're like, Jeeves, I'm thinking meatloaf. Yeah. And Jeeves is like in his head like, fuck. I have a whole fucking menu design. I've already started prep work. Yes, sir.

I'm excited to make the meatlo. What an asshole. And then you come in half hour before dinner and go, you know what, Chiefs? That salmon didn't sound so bad. Right. But isn't there also, like, there's also there there's a big difference in my opinion of like you're sharing your home with the chef to some degree

yes they're in your house yeah as opposed to the driver who's in the garage well they don't they don't have to stay in the garage where are they going to go well i hope they have a home yeah but they got to stand they're on standby during the driving hours i think i would be able to be like listen and I'm going to need you at whatever, 8 a.m. Oh, really? And, like, you're done by 8 p.m. All right, so, 8 to 8? That's a long day.

I think there are going to be days where I'm like, you can go home early. You don't need to. You want to be a benevolent. I mean, I have, yeah, I guess it's like, pick up and drop off for my child, a podcast today. Those are the drives that are being made.

Right. No. Uh-uh. What do you say no, uh-uh, too? I'm saying he's got to be sitting in that car waiting for you. And if you're like, oh, shit, I forgot I have to go pick up something else. Right. And you walk, you come out.

But eight to aid services that. You come out to the car. You're waiting at the door. Hello. Oh, and he comes out, opens it. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Thank you. I'm not opening the door myself.

And then you get in and you're like, we've got to go to the pharmacy. Right. So you think, so in this situation, like, I don't notify him. I don't text him. Like, hey, man, about to come down. I truly just walk down the drive. Like, I'm like, excuse me, it's time to go. Old school.

He's supposed to be ready. He's supposed to be. All the time. He sees that front door opening. He's out and standing at the door. Do you feel comfortable with that? Setting up a person to do that? Yeah.

Okay. Because let me go back to the vision board. Okay. He ain't doing it for free. Right. That's what the money is for. We're all in agreement. I hit that dollar amount of my vision board.

I'm paying you big bucks to be my driver. Do you... If you're getting car service, I'm sure you get car service every now and again, right? Do you just let them do the process of opening the door and closing the door for you? Or are you like, I got it. Where do you?

I'm in a transition phase. Okay. I was always the meets me a baggage claim. I got my wheelie bag. You want me to take that for you? No, I'm good. You lead the way. Right.

That was the old Tom. Yeah. The new Tom's a little tired. Yeah. It's been on the road a lot this year. And I'm thinking, well, it is a service. We are paying for the service. You want to open the door?

Yeah, go ahead. When did this transition take place? A couple weeks ago. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. It's new. I'm starting to embrace it.

Yeah. Yeah. We get there. I get off, I wheel it all the way from gate 46 to baggage claim. You want me to take that for you? I sure do. Thank you so much. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not an elitist thing. He's got a job. Yeah. No, I think I... We had to pay it. And I'm sure he wants to do it. If I was a driver, I'd want to.

do all that stuff. Yeah, I can't, I don't know. The only feeling I have, I think it's like getting into the car. Like, I just feel like it's most practical and like fastest and cleanest for me to just open the door. Rather than in a situation, let's say the driver is finishing,

putting a bag in the trunk, and then me just sort of standing there waiting for the door to be opened for me. Right. That's probably where like, I'm like, I feel like I could just, I could take care of this step on my own. Because you feel bad because you know if you're having to wait for him to open the door, he's going to be fired.

You know, I am so afraid of confrontation. Me too. I know. People can do the worst thing to me and there will be no repercussion. I could tell you, I could cite examples where like the worst things have happened to me. and like all I need to do is like send a note online and I'm like oh great massive tip great experience I know yeah but yeah no I'm starting I'm gonna I'm gonna try it well that's be respectful don't be an asshole about it but you know and that you can open the door thing there is like just like you're

saying about fortune like there are these people who just kind of have a fully different way of doing it and it's going great for them. Going great for them. Why am I fearing, embracing that? Right, right. I know you have to go. But I feel like I'm just getting warmed up. I feel like the,

when you do, you know, when you do have a car come pick you up, whatever, to take you to a show or whatever, a lot of times, all the time, tip is included.

Right. Tip is included. Yes. But there's still, that awkward moment when you get out of the car you're gonna go, do you, are you, do you tip, do you not

tip? You're asking me what I do? Yeah. I always tip and I will always throw more money out. And like, but there are times, there's there are situations where I don't have cash on me and then like. And you scurry away in shame.

Yeah, maybe I've also like kind of, I'm so sorry I don't have any cash on me. Like maybe I've voiced that out loud, but. Yeah. Yeah, I always... Because I have friends who it's known that it's tipped so that it's all taken care of

and there's no emotional attachment to it. It's all done like an Uber and you just walk away. Yeah. I have a hard time with that. I always feel like, oh, you're gonna give a little... Yeah, me too.

Throw a little something on it. Well, you're a very nice man. You obviously are a very thoughtful person. Spineless is what it is. I mean, I didn't realize your morning routine was so bro-y, but can I be honest I thought was not true

what I know I I wake up I don't I I was I was trying to visualize what Mark Wahlberg does I thought we were I thought it was some sort of like fantasy playing out I was not being earnest oh I saw you as being a lot more bro-y after that oh no no no no no no no I thought you said

like let's talk like bros so I thought we were like taking on a persona you were being genuine yeah no I eat two steaks oh and you And you fire the ski shooting. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And fight with the neighbors. No, I couldn't even come up with what the term was for a swimming pool. I can't wait to be in your next movie. I can't wait to have you. It'll really be funny. I'm so excited for this bread. And my family, my family will be enjoying this bread. Good.

I hope so. Yeah. And it'll be really good today. I'll be even better tomorrow. Is that true? Yeah, because it just came out of the, oven so you'll be like well this cuts a little it's a little wobbly it's because it's still doing its thing you know we're going to see friends i may this i can bring this yeah and you know

what you could take credit for it i baked you this bread you could say it i feel like with all i've told you today do you think that that's my persona you know what uh if i were you and i think what you're really going to do? Yeah. You're going to let your driver just drop off the bread before you get there. Hey, that's what I pay him for. There you go. It's a whole new attitude.

Thanks for being here. This was really nice meeting here. Wonderful hanging out.