Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 337 - Leslie Jones

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

This week Leslie Jones joins Tom at the table! She brings life advice, new breads for Tom to bake, and a lot of comedy tea. Enjoy! Our thanks to: Jack Archer! Go to JackArcher.com, and use promo code GETJACK for 15% off your first order, and see why thousands of people have given the Jetsetter Tech pant five stars! ASPCA Pet Insurance! The ASPCA® Pet Health Insurance program offers customizable accident and illness plans that can fit your budget, your lifestyle, and even your pet’s particular quirks. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/PAPA. Leesa! We love our Leesa mattress. Go to leesa.com and use my promo code PAPA for plus $50 off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Life has so many cycles. It's meant for you to enjoy your life in your 20s because your brain don't develop until you 25 anyway. So you're a dumbass anyway. Stop trying to be smart. You're a dumbass. Your whole brain ain't developed yet. You know what I'm saying?

And then you have that time. And then the 30s is when you start getting a little serious about your life. You start cleaning up the 20s and all of that. 40s is when you already know what the fuck you're doing and you're going towards that shit. Even if you don't know, you kind of feel like you do know. Yeah. The 50s is when the harvest starts coming in, baby. Like, it is cycles.

Yeah. And everybody's always trying to rush to get to the fucking end. There is an end, sir. And when you get to it, you're going to be so unsatisfied because you had no journey. It's breaking bread. You look amazing. What's going on? You know what's so weird?

I'm glad that you noticed. I always noticed, but this is extra. No, it's life. It's like coming to a realization. that life is gone life and you are experienced enough to life it. That makes sense? Like not all the stuff that I've been through is not been pains. It's been a life.

Right. Lessons. Yeah. No, just a life. Like, I just, I don't know how to explain what the, plus I think I've gotten older. I'm 58 now. And when you start getting in your later 50s, it starts becoming just a little, easier. I don't know how to explain it. I remember Felicia Rashah saying that she was like,

after I turned 55, it just seemed like decisions. Decisions are not hard because we have just been built through the, we've been built to enjoy this part of our life. And that's why I tell kids, stop trying to enjoy this part of life so fast. Like, you're trying to have the experiences without the experience. I know. But it's so hard. Like, you can't tell a 20-year-old. You can't tell a 20-year- could they tell us? They can't. They couldn't tell us. There's no way.

They couldn't tell us. So you have to let people learn and all I can hope for is that they do. Yeah. Because when I say that you get on this other side of your life, just like that. You see how you giggle? Because it's so fun. It's so fun because it's like and there's a lot of bad stuff going on right now. Yeah.

Because us consciously we know that this is bad, but we are. also know that it doesn't last. No, exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's perspective. It's so, is that what it's called? Like when I'm talking to kids, they're just like, oh, that price, and you'd be like,

wait till Tuesday. So it's just like. Now, would you have had this perspective if you weren't as successful in all the things you wanted to achieve? Yes. I think so because I always was like this. Yeah. I was always searching for peace.

Who were you in your 20s? Oh, God. Like 22. I was a whore. Met you at the wrong time. I was in the street. Where were you? Where's 22?

I was out here. I was in L.A. Just living my life. Like, I was just like, that was such a whore. Oh, God. I was such a whore and a good one. Like a really good one. Because like, you know, like when you know when it's good when you have repeat people, you know.

When they come back from horror. When they come back and they go, you're crazy, but you're a whore. That's why I always tell people like, life is not going to change for you. Life has so many cycles. It's meant for you to enjoy your life in your 20s because your brain don't develop until you 25 anyway. Yeah. So you're a dumb ass anyway. Stop trying to be smart.

You're a dumbass. Your whole brain ain't developed yet. You know what I'm saying? And then the 30s is when you start getting a little serious about your life. You start cleaning up the 20s and all of that. 40s is when you already know what the fuck you're doing and you're going towards that shit. Even if you don't know, you kind of feel like you do know. The 50s is when the harvest starts coming in, baby.

Like, it is cycles. And everybody's always trying to rush to get to the fucking end. There is an end, sir. And when you get to it, you're going to be so unsatisfied because you had no journey. That's right. What's amazing is that this story has been written since the beginning of time. Absolutely. We think we're the first ones going through it.

But everything that you come across in life, all those stages, they happen at the same exact time for everybody. I feel like people need to be okay with change. Right, exactly. Like change is going to happen no matter you want it. It will ask you nicely. Right. Because this is why I tell people, if you don't get into change, you're going to be stagnant water. This is this wall and that water's just going to keep hitting it.

It's just going to keep getting more stale and stagnant. That's life. Yeah. You have to have the great, no matter what happened, the grays will come, the leaves will turn. But you will enjoy your life much better if you stop trying to stop change. Because change is going to beat that ass. It's going to happen. It's going to happen no matter what.

Would you rather enjoy it or really be in pain going through it? Right. Right. And this is too, Tom, like to get to this point where I am, I want people to understand that this shit wasn't easy. You know how many much pain you have to go through? Like I was telling somebody, I was like, acceptance doesn't always feel great. Yeah.

You know, it's really looking at yourself, looking at, hey, I want to be happy. I want to, and that's another thing. Happiness is just a feeling. Content is what you should strive for. That's right. You know what I'm saying? Because you can be happy, sad. crying, but if you're content, that's something that's steady.

Just joy, just mellow joy. It's just the underlining of joy because even when you're sad, yeah. It's like you really go right back to it. Yeah, you're all right. I can't explain it. No, I get it. But you have to earn this feeling.

I tell people this is not something that you wake up in the morning and go, I'm going to be fucking great. No. Well, now how, how were you always this self-aware? I was always No I always say conscious No

I think I was very dumb And I think I stayed dumb On purpose Because you know if you know better You do better And I didn't feel like doing better Right You know I just wanted to be a comic

You know what I'm saying I just wanted to be a comic I woke up when I got to S&L It was just no way that you could stay sleep With the stuff that I would find out I'd like see And this is a thing too I like to come from a perspective

of what people actually know about politics No one knows. Right. We're stupid as fuck. I didn't know Senate. I didn't know Congress. I didn't know they were two different people. I mean, I know that boy that came up and said,

it's only up there. And I didn't know what the fuck happened up here. I ain't know none of that shit. None of that shit. I ain't know who Mitch McConnell. I ain't know none of motherfuckers. And that is most of America. Yeah.

And what I found out too is a lot of people need to understand that they're mad about this system, but they're not understanding that the system is not being fully used. because only a third of America is fucking voting. So we don't really know how the system works because the people that are voing are the fucking assholes. Let's one time just for fun. Just for fun. No, and I'm being really serious.

Just for fun. Let's all vote. And see what happened. No, just for fun. Let's make it a trend. Let's make it a TikTok. Hey, we're going to go vote to see what's going to happen. Let's all vote and see what the fuck happened.

I bet you you will see something that you've never ever seen before. And it will be real change. I know. It's not going to happen. You know what I realized the other day is that there's so many personalities in the world. There's so many opinions in the world. There's some opinions that don't need to be heard. And then there's some opinions that do need to be heard that get lost in the shit that does get out there.

We are neat people we need to know that internet, computer, all that shit is. pretend. So get the fuck away from in front of your computer for a little while. Go touch some grass. Go actually talk. You know, there's a reason for grocery stores. Now we can took that away. Grocer stores are supposed to we can see other people doing other shit.

Like, so we can, you know what I mean? I know. I was literally just writing about this. Yeah. One of my favorite things is going to the store. I love going to the store. Can I ask you this? Is it only because we're rich and famous? No, no, no.

No, no. Because I love going to the grocery store because I'm like, I ain't been to the grocery store in a long fucking time. Somebody does it now. I did it when I was poor. And I loved it. And here's the thing. Everybody talks about that there's, we don't have community anymore. And there's a lot of great institutions or big aunts that are falling off and people don't go to church as much or do these different things.

And we're longing for community. Just go to the store. Just go to the grocery store. I have my cashiers, my 65-year-old cashiers that I flirt with. There's the guys muttering as they're bagging who know me. And that's my little, that's my little world. You know, and when I realized when I was poor, I had three or four grocery stores because I would go get my meat at the Mexican grocery store because they have the best

meat department. And it's always, baby, I could take $10 in there and I can walk out there with chicken, ground chicken, pork chops. It's so awesome, right? So, so, so then I would go to Ralph's, which, by the way, Ralph's, you need to have me as your sponsor because I fuck. and love you. I love Rouse on another level of love.

Why? It's just a great fucking story. And then I go and I talk. Yeah. And I notice that I'm the girl that talks to everybody in the store. Yeah, which you're supposed to do. You're supposed to. I'm in the bank and I'm like, oh my God, that is so cute.

So where did you get that? And I used to be the person that would be like, shut the fuck up. Why is you talking to everybody? No, you're supposed to. I was in the lounge, going up to the lounge in Dallas airport, and it was early morning, and we got on the crowded elevator, and it was like, you know, eight people, and everyone was, and a lady had a yellow jacket on, like a poofy jacket, and I was like, that's a fun color, yellow's fun, and she's like, well, thank you, and where are you going?

And just doing that, by the time we got to the door's opening, everyone was like, have a great trip, good luck with your son, good luck with you. and everybody... Isn't that beautiful? It was beautiful. I love that. I know. That makes me happy.

That's the way you're supposed to go through. Oh, my God. So that's what I want to get to as far as joy givers. We as comedians need to start becoming joygivers. Aren't we? We're supposed to now, especially now, that's our job. I really think that's our job. And listen, I understand comedy.

I'm not dumb. I've been doing comedy since 87. I know what type of comedy is out there. I know every type of thing, the shot comedy. the mean com- but you know what i do know about those those genres is that the people who did them were really good like they were already funny does that make sense and they were able to take shot comedy and make it actually funny or mean you mean back in the day back in the day right right but now these kids and i call them kids because i just feel like they're not understanding that

when a singer sings a song the singer knows the original song before they can riff on it, before they can change it, right? Yeah. And I feel like comedians don't go to the base to find, you know what I'm talking about. No, there's a lot of young comics that don't know the history of comedy. They don't know other comics. I just don't want to know it. Like I've even heard people say Richard Pryor was all right.

And you want to strangle them, like you want to strangle them because you, and it's not a disrespect of like what you like as comedy or whatever. It's like, hey, like, it stopped disrespecting some of the people that made it okay for you to do what you're doing right now. Exactly. It gives you roots. It's just, it's just, I don't know if I could be a real comic without knowing where I came from.

No, exactly. You know, and, and I'm not saying that, because these young kids have a whole different way of doing things, it's the Instagram, it's the TikToks, but whenever I see them on the road, they ain't got no fucking set. Right. Or they don't know how to take what they do on Instagram or TikTok to the stage. And you know why? Because you miss three or four years of learning how to be a comic.

The first three or four years are not no bullshit. The first year you're learning how to hold the mic, how to be on the stage. The first three years is getting the dick, pussy, fart, booger jokes all out your fucking system. Because you are an infant. You are telling an infant joke, right? you know what I'm saying so then you know maybe your third fourth year you start really kind of developed you may write your first major major joke that that is your set ender in four fifth year you start making money and shit like there are special ones that are funny yes I was funny

as fuck when I started yeah as fuck but I swear to God I would quite a leap back to that bitch and say you're not all that ho you still got about fucking 10 more years to become what I am. Yeah. No, it takes a long time. But I really think the way that things are changing. You have very funny people serving it up through YouTube or doing different things. But the craft of stand-up

is unique. That is its own thing. I feel that. And they want to do stuff like have a stand-up without audiences. I want to beat your ass. What the fuck are you doing? Right. Oh, I'm going to change no, comp. And this is, I have said this for the

longest time. Comedy. music, acting, art, all that stuff is an entity. It doesn't fucking need you to survive. When I die, comedy going to go fuck with somebody else. It will be here to the end of time. You will not respect the fucking craft. Because if you don't respect the craft, the craft will make you respect it. You may think you riding high on your fuck bullshit that you're doing on stage.

But one day, buddy, you're going to be in Omaha, Nebraska. and one of them bullshit-ass clubs that are fucking promoted and got you in and they're gonna beat your ass. I feel like the crowds when we were coming up were more unforgiving. They were meaner.

They kept you honest. You know what I mean? Like it was, you'd walk into some room. It wasn't like rooting for you. Yo, they had this room in New York that talent used to host and they would literally get up and turn their chairs around.

It's so awful. You see it done to someone and they're like, man, get the fuck off stage. Or people or the family room off of Manchester and Maine. They throw chicken bones at you. It's fucking crazy. And this is what I was telling people. I was like, you may call it mean, but it's like growing. And I feel sorry sometimes for some comedians because I'll be like, damn, I wonder

if you would be so much better if you went through the same obstacle course that we went through. be able to do it anywhere. Right. I mean, that's a huge thing. Any race. Anybody. Anybody. Your fucking set works everywhere.

That's right. I, oh God, so much I love comedy. And that's why I tell people don't get in it to make the money or be famous because you won't last. No. You just won't last. No, you'll get one tour and then you come around again. It's not going to be so pretty.

It's not going to be so pretty because you didn't study and you didn't. Like, you know, we still go up. Yeah. go in and you'll still see Chris Rock and all of them. We still go up. Like, I am always up on stage, especially in New York. Why do you have a three foot tall cup? Lenny asked me that all the time.

And I usually have three or four of them with three different. He was like, you're the most hydrated comic I just fucking out. I just love big cups. I love them to be glass so I can see what I'm drinking. What's in that cup? I already told you you forgot. Why, you old motherfucker? No, you're old because.

I asked that before we started rolling, and I'm trying to do it so it's recorded. Oh, oh. So we both. Oh, okay. I have a latte with a protein shake in there, you know, non-dairy, and some oak milk that I got from New Zealand. That's, so wait, a protein shake mixed with a latte.

Doesn't that change what the latte is? No, it changes. It just puts some of the espresso into the protein. That makes sense, right? Yeah, it makes total sense. How beautiful is your bread? It's always so beautiful. For the record, there's not one comedian who appreciates my bread as much as you.

I've come to your house with my bread because you love it so much. Yes. And you promised me a cheese, bro, but... I apologize. I forgot about that. It's okay because I'm still going to fuck this up. What did you ask for exactly? Cheese and jalapeno or just cheese?

No, no jalapeno. I don't like. Just cheese. Yeah, just cheese. All right. Write that down. Let me ask you a question, though. We used to have this bread during table read and it was bread, but it has sausage in it.

Oh, yeah. What is that? Sausage bread. Can you make that? I never have. And that's what I called it. It's sausage bread, but people was like, that's not what it's called. No, it is what it's called.

It's sausage fucking bread, bitch. I've never made it, but I will make it. For me. For you. Make sure that you do a video of it too, because I love what you do it. It's like watching an HDTV show. You're just like... Do you think I should talk when I do those?

Yes. I just play music. You can play music at some points, but I like when you talk because you're funny. Or you should say what you're thinking because your face be thinking shit for real. I am thinking. It's so hilarious. I was literally thinking that this morning when I was doing it. I was like, I'm like, I got to make other expressions.

It should be a show or something. I know. I love it. Oh, thank you. Are you more into New York than L.A. now? Yeah. Yeah? I really feel like people think that I'm cocky.

Yeah. It's like a lot of people that try to put me in my place or feel like I'm not supposed to say what I'm saying, but I'm exactly the person that's supposed to say it, you know, especially if it's dealing with my craft. And the clubs here in L.A. then became real MAGA. You know, with the MAGA bookers and shit, it's just like annoying because that's not supposed to be. to come into comedy. Right. Not like that. You know what I'm saying? And this is what I keep telling everybody. You keep fucking building your fucking foundation on hate. You are going to crash so hard. Yeah. Because it doesn't last. It does not last. I tell people the three pigs. Yeah. The three pigs, the first two pigs fucked up with the bullshit. Right? And then what they had to do? They had to run

the third pick, the one that was smart, the one they talk bad about. Do you get what the fuck I'm saying? I'm saying that there's going to come a time when Democrats or whatever and all this bullshit is going. And we saw you. We see you. When I go to New York, Esty don't bring none of her shit. No, it's who kills.

That's her whole thing. Who's going to kill? And how many her rooms she got? And how many of them be packed every fucking show? And they're going to open another one. Exactly. And she don't give a fuck about none of that shit. Nope. And she don't bring bullshit into the club.

Doesn't matter what people say. Doesn't matter what happens to people. Offstage, she's like, it's all judged on, are you going to walk in and make this audience happen? And if you're not funny, what happens? You don't, you don't, she don't even look at you. No. You could be in it for 12 years and you have a bad set and she's like, Because people, if the shows aren't great, they don't come to the shows.

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They come to see you all around the U.S. So many people in the world. Right. Like those acts that we're talking about that are just ugly and whatever. It's almost like it brushes up against our, against comedy, but it's like describing another sport or another entity. It's like, no, those people are like electricians. Like this is my comedy's in here. That thing does not really relate to my mind.

When I tell you, first of all, I just love you so much. I've always loved you because you're so smart. You may have just literally, I want to actually, I'm almost about to cry because, because thank you. It's a different thing. It's, it's, why would I, why? Because Lenny would he literally be like, why are so frustrated about these people who are just, they're going to do what they're going to do.

And I just be so frustrated because I'm like, because I feel like they're affecting, but I'm also looking at an algorithm. It's like professional. I don't meet that. Right. Well, yeah. I know that's the problem when you hate watch something. Yeah. The algorithm thinks you like it.

Yeah. And the other problem is, and the thing you have to wrestle with is the reason why it feels like it's in your world is because they do share your stage. Right. They're in your, they're at the same clubs. They are brushing up against you. You run across them. But that's just when we're working out. When you go back out into your thing, you're in your world.

Yeah. in the Leslie Jones comedy paradise. It has nothing to do with those things. There's nothing to do with it. There's literally, you know, it comes down to, there's literally times when in a place

you're not in sync with the people at that place. It happens. It happens at networks. It happens at clubs. It happens at agencies. It happens all this thing. The one thing is

the comedian is there longer. The comedian doesn't go away. you're going to go back on the lot you're going to go back and eat someone else from the agency right those that always changes it always changes and then all of a sudden it's a sunny day

it's a sunny day you know it's a sunny day yeah see that's why you're smarter than me it's true you got great response off this last special part two life part two yes I did

And I'm excited about it I hope you know what's so crazy I don't care about winning an Emmy I would love to get nominated though Only because it's just like Recognized that I know funny comic you know That's a weird one too though

Yeah because it's always the same people Get nominated and you go like how are they doing it And we know we're just as funny I know and it's like trying to push that that narrative Like I just want to I just want people to know how funny That people like us are like you know, there's more than just the ones y'all see out there. I know because it's a familiar name and people are voting for everything.

They may not be in the comedy world, but I feel like your name's big enough. It should be. From your mouth to God's ears, that would be so great to get nominated. Like I said, I don't even care about winning. Getting nominated would just bring so much attention to the new set, which I love. Oh, yeah. My new set. Life 3.

I don't know. It's called I'm hot. I'm hot. Because I'm literally hot. And then I'm menopause and so I'm fucking hot. That's what I told you when I was in Soho. And you had the, was it an Uber campaign? Uber Eats campaign?

I was on the, on the camp. Yeah, it was Uber Eats. There's this gigantic billboard in New York downtown. It's huge. And it's everybody going to the Holland Tunnel. And I'm like this with ice cream. And you looked so great. And I texted you and I said, you look beautiful.

And I literally was cursing. somebody out in that shot. Oh, that's right you told me. I was like, what the fuck? And they caught that shot. Wasn't it going on too long or something? No, it was somebody that was on the set. That wasn't supposed to be on the set.

There's a whole other story. But I looked and I said, yo, why is, and that motherfuckers, click, click, click, click. And I said, every time I saw that billboard, I was like, I'm so mad. Don't you see how man? They was like, you don't look mad. You look like, hey.

It was huge and it was up for a while. It was a annoying as fuck. Every time I would see it, I'd be like, God damn. Damn it. It's really true that the internet will follow you for the rest of your fucking life. Oh my God. How are you handling the social media these days? I love social media now because I know how to use it.

But I was always the one that was like, I'm not going to be behind any times. I kept up when they had MySpace, when they Twitter, when all that stuff, I had, and I remember when people were getting caught with what they said 20 years ago, I remember having my assistant go back and check my tweets and make sure that I didn't say anything stupid. And she was like, it's literally gigs. Oh, really? It's just non-stop. Hey, I'm going to be at the comedy store. Hey, I'm a bit of it. That's all it was.

I was like, for real, she said, once in a while you'll say something funny, but there was nothing like that. Yeah, yeah. So do you interact a lot with it now? Or do you just post and leave it? Or do you... I have a social media team that really does a lot of the posting like the stuff.

But like I do still do a lot of like our repost stuff. Right. Especially on Instagram. I don't really fuck with TikTok and is, what is it? I keep hearing that by the way. Twitter X or whatever the fuck that shit is. I don't fuck with them.

It's just a playground for crazy people. It really is. It's like who let the dogs out for real? Like I'm just like it's like I feel like Twitter is like a junkyard. It's like, it's like a, uh, what, what was Mad Max? Yeah. That's I feel like that's right. I feel like it's a mad Max. Wallace. It's awful. It's really bad. TikTok, it just feels, I feel like it's a need to be seen. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and it really comes from self and I tell people this all the time. People think they're small. People think they're nothing. People think they're not seen. And if you,

really would look at it from a different perspective, I think that you would leave your life a little different. Understand this that you are not normal. You are not like everyone else. You are a specific piece of art that was made by God or whoever it is that you believe in. Nice. No one is like you. No one looks like you. No one thinks like you. You are an original piece of art. Yeah. And you're just wasting it every day by trying to be somebody else's art. Right. Be your art. Like if you want your life to look a certain way, make it look that way. But know that you're important. I don't care if you're a cafeteria worker.

You're fucking important. I don't care if you're crossing guard. I don't care if you work at McDonald's. I don't care if you're – I don't care what you do. Whatever it is that you do is important. You need to find out why God created you like you are because whatever it is is supposed to be special and specific for the whole community. And you don't need the validation of strangers. You don't need the validation of strangers.

And yo, you will find that when you really do like yourself. And I've been telling everybody the only way that we're going to be able to beat all of this hate is love. And the love is going to have to come from yourself. And the only way that you're going to have to be able to give that love is to love yourself. You can't give what you don't have. So it's going to start within. It's really powerful. If you can take people that you have in your life who really,

really bother you. And for valid reasons that they came at you or whatever, if you have it, if you get to the space where you can just forgive them and leave it, you're, you're so much lighter. And do you know that it's, whoever, whatever it is, that you believe in. When you do that, you give that a chance to go to them to help them with whatever the fuck they do. Like, because it's like now the universe is dealing with you and your hate and, and, and this, all this stuff that you're building up about this person. And they're dealing with you instead of you just going, you know what? You're right.

It's what it is. I forgive it. I forgive them and just move on. Now the universe can go, thank you. Now I can go to them. Tell them what's going on. You know what I'm saying? Right. Exactly.

And it really, when they say that forgiveness is for you, it truly is a real thing. It really is. Damn. Today, today was the day, Tom. That's right. No, today was the day. have released me. Good. Good. No. Do you have a place

in New York? Yes. You do? I have a I don't, they call it a condo. It's a fucking apartment. I mean, it's nice. It's really nice. Oh, nice. Did you hang on to that? Yes. Yes. I bought it in I bought it in 2016, but I don't think I got to move in there

into 18th. It's nice. You have a spot there. Yeah. That's great. Oh my God. I wish I was there when the The next one. I know. Because I'll bet you that, I bet you that street. I wish it's going to be so nice in New York now. I know.

People are going to be so nice to each other. I know. I know. Just joy. Just joy. And it's kind of wonderful. It's so great. And then they fought against all odds.

Everybody hated on the next. It was so great. I was saying to my friend, I said, you think about it, this is the last time that they had like a rallying reason for a combined. joy in New York was when everyone was banging pots and pans for the nurses.

Yes. And that was Yes. That wasn't the happiest time but it was that unifying thing. It was so funny because when they would do that I would be and after they finish I'd be like,

but did you fuck though? But did you fuck though? Did you watch, did you go to any of the games? The next game? I didn't know. No, shit. I didn't get to. Yeah.

That was expensive. They got really expensive. Yeah. And plus I wasn't in town. I was touring. Right. But I was watching. How do you like the Yankees this year?

I have to talk to Lenny about it, but they seem like they're doing kind of good, right? Yeah. It's really fun. And now, wouldn't it be awesome if they won the World Series? Yeah, it would be really nice. New York would literally turn it to Wonderland. I know. One of the hard parts was when I would watch, you know, that's my team, the Yankees.

I love the Yankees. I love that more than any other sport. Yeah. And I would watch. and I'd see Leslie with my friend Lenny right behind home plate in Lauren Michael's seats. The next time we go, we're taking you, okay? Yeah.

The next time we go, you have to go with us. I would love to. Lenny is, I know I've said this to you before. Lenny Mark is a great comedian. I've known him forever. He is the best person to go to a Yankee game with. He made me like it. He made me like basketball.

The way that he breaks down every player and every play, it's insane. Knowledge is great. He's funny. He's not going to be loud. He's not going to be drunk. And he's going to be appreciative and fun. Yeah.

And oh my God, he's so fun at the, at the, uh, concessions. What is it? The buffet. Yeah. It's so fun watching Lenny go over and he goes, they have scallops. I'm like, Lenny, you're not supposed to eat scallops. I'm eating scallops. It's so great.

He's such, he's so great. Those are great seats. When we go, we're definitely taking it. Yeah. I didn't know that you were longing like that. Because I would have brought you. I do love seeing you guys there. Oh, my God.

And I'm telling you, it's great. Yeah, those are great. I love being behind home plate. Oh, my God. So they can hear me. And I am awful. I'd be like, that us. I'd be like, ah, Aaron, you're so fine.

Oh, my God. That's my dying. The referee be tired And every time The ball comes to it And like it hits the net I'd be like

Ah, we go out Nah! We have so much fun. Oh, it's the best. I love those games. Are you working on anything outside of... Well, we got the HGTV show

coming out. I did roast my rental where I went into vacation rentals and I roast them and then we came in and helped renovate them. Nice. It is really so full.

I haven't seen that. So, fun. So you go into a rental property. I go into a rental property and I roast it. We'd like to thank the good people at Quince for sponsoring today's program. Summer means time to host, time to bring people together, dinners, backyard hangs, friends dropping by. Having the right kitchen essentials makes it easy to pull things together without overthinking it, which is why I have been reaching for Quince.

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So many places. We hit Idaho. We went to Palm Beach. We went to Joshua Tree. Oh, yeah. We did a spaceship. And I literally was like, it's so funny. So I'm like going off.

I'm like, who buys a spaceship? This is crazy. You know what? Ain't no black people going to do nothing like this. This is some white people's shit right here. This white people's shit, right? And then the black guy pulls up. He gets out and I said, brother, what are you doing?

You bought a spaceship? What was you thinking? And then the white girl gets out the truck and I go, oh, okay. And everybody fell. It was so funny. I was like, and Lenny's like, they're not going to keep that. They're not going to keep that. And the lady was like, no, we're going to fight to keep that.

Because that was just because you can. You can hear everybody swing. It was so funny. She was like, no, eBay. But it turned out to be insane. The designer we have, Jasmine Roth, she's insanely talented. Really?

Oh, my gosh. She does stuff. And I thought the spaceship was going to be the worst thing. It is not. It is not the worst thing that we see. It is not. And they flip it, they flip it that quick. They flip it during your shoot, three days.

And it's so crazy because some people are really like, in denial. They're delusional. And then a lot of them really thought that they're written to people that they know or something. Like one guy had his picture at the end of the bed and we was like, because, no. We don't want to see you in our rental, homie. Like, this is bad. He had his whole family up at one point.

And I had broke. He broke me. He was the episode that broke me because I went. Broke in what way? Because he just was just, and he's like one of those dude dudes. He's like very in denial. He had this picture and he's like trying to explain why he had a picture of his family. Oh, and he goes, I said, man, don't nobody give a fuck about your family.

Right then the director was like, cut. Hey, come here. You can't be telling people. Was this your idea? Yes, me and Lenny's. You came up with it? Yeah. Oh, wow.

And a lady from HGTV and we just was like, let's do it. That's great. They green lighted as soon as they heard the idea. Really? Oh, that's great. And I was like, cool. That's cool. So we got 12 episodes.

Oh, nice. Come in. It's really, really good. Have you seen them? No, I'm going in for ADR, so I'll probably see some of them. But I'm excited because it was great. And I looked really good. You did?

Oh, my God, my outfits are tea. But I looked so, you're going to love it because I look so classic. Oh, good. I like that. Do you think I should wear a suit again in my next special? Do you think I am suit? I would honestly like to see you how you go up at the comedy store.

Comfortable. Not as buttoned down. We are in a whole different like you said, a different world now. I would like people to see all the comics like they are when they're just ripping. When we're at the comedy store,

when you're, oh my God, when you're at the cellar, yo, I don't know if y'all ever seen Tom Papa, but he is literally one of the funniest people. You made me be okay with how I wake up in the morning. Because you say you wake up in the morning, sometimes you're a little dizzy, you're kind of nauseous. And I'm like, I thought I was the only one. What was going?

Sitting at the end of the bed. Just like, oh, my God, that's me, Tom. And he's so calm. Like, I've never seen somebody perform so calmly. And he's just, it's just like, whenever you're watching a real comic perform, you can see the confidence on them. Like, whenever, whenever I, when I first started doing comedy, the good ones always look like they were doing it for their whole life. Right. So when you're on stage, you're literally just.

And it's so good. I had that last night watching Al Madrigal. Oh, so funny, right? And he came up and the audience was like, it was just that time and night where people go on the bathroom coming back, so it was a little jangly. But he's just so good and so calm, and he just kept going with his material.

And I love that. When you know, more than the audience knows what they're dealing with, and he just slowly brought them all in, and by the end they're just like... And see, and that's why I say the foundation of comedy has to be built around you because you do have to be comfortable enough to wrangle a room. Yeah, but that takes years. It takes years.

I tell them years and years and years and years. There's no shortcut. There's no shortcut. That's the words I've been looking for. Yeah. People want to be great so fast. And I have people asking me all the time, I would love to get some advice about comedy. I would love to get some advice about comedy.

And I always say quit because if you're asking for advice, you already don't know what to do. Right. not saying that I've never asked for advice, but I don't ever remember saying to someone, how do you do comedy? Right, right, right. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, it's just, I knew that it was about going up on stage and really learning it, like, because what you learn in a class, it's not the same as the field.

You will never know what it feels like to be in front of an audience that don't give a fuck about you. Like, your existence is actually annoyance to them. Right. And then you get up and start talking about yourself. And they love it. And they're like, you know what? This guy is hilarious. So it's like I have performed for 99 years.

I went to an old folks home. I had to do it a long time ago. And I remember the lady coming up to me again, she was like, now you know they're old. So you can't be cursing and stuff. And I was like, no cursing. Okay, okay. She was like, no sex jokes. I was like, no sex.

She's like, well, you know, no dirty, dirty sex jokes. And I was like, okay, okay, okay. And I just remember going. on stage and there was a pantry because they had us in the community center thing. There was a pantry in the door was open and there was a lady in there and she came out with two big cans or something. And I said, is that a pantry? And everybody fell out.

So I just went in there and just started bringing stuff out going, okay. So we need a giant, a giant can of prunes. Let's talk about that. And they loved it. And the sex jokes I would do was the ones where I would go out in the audience, like somebody to be in the wheelchair. And I was like, so how do you work this out? Like, I was like, oh, what's your, how do you

veteran, you know? I was like, so how do you work this world, wheelchair? How do you work this wheelchair thing? When you want to have sex, what do you do? And they loved it. It's just like, you, when you get to that level of comedy where you're not, you're more scared not to do it

than to do it. Right. Yeah, no kidding. That's what, that's what wanted. No, when you don't do it, you start to question who you are. Question who you are. Yeah. You're like, I just remember the first years of me doing it every time I was quite like,

well, what are you doing here? It was like, but you got to do it. You got to do it. Even if it hurts, you got to do it. When I was first starting early, early, I went and did a nursing home up in the Bronx. And same thing, like all these old people and stuff. And I got up there. I only had like my apartment jokes.

Yeah, but they understand it more than anything. I bombed. I was, it was in the afternoon. It wasn't going well. and in the middle of my set, a woman in the front went through her bag, and she said, do you want a piece of fruit? It just handed me a banana. It was like, she felt bad for me as a grandma.

It was just like, let's stop this. Why don't you just eat something? Please tell me, you said that. Did everybody laugh? Because that's the funny that shit. It was real. Yeah, just stop. It's like their grandson.

Like, you know what? Let's go to college. Go to college. Oh, my God. But see, but that's what I'm saying. You need that. Yeah, yeah. That you need that.

Like, I didn't understand, like, because I went a long time with, I don't want to bomb. I don't want to bomb. I don't want to do bad. And then I was always getting standing those. I had the fucking audacity to stay one night to my fucking friend. I am so tired of standing those.

What do they mean anymore? Are these, and I bombed for six months. months straight. Six months straight. I couldn't say shit funny. You mess with the muse. And I was like, I remember when I'm coming off a stage like, okay, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to say that.

It was out of stupidity. I, please, I'm funny. Yeah. And I remember my neck said, I wrapped that bitch. And I was like, when they stood up, I was like, thank you. You like me again. You like that. Yeah.

Don't mess with the unit. You can't, and that's what I said, don't fuck with the crap. But what you just taught me something today, you just taught me something today, hey, you are messing with things that you're not supposed to mess with. I'll take care of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. Yeah.

And I love you for that. All right. I love you for that. I care about you. I do, and I love that you care about me because that's important. You have to have peers that bring you around. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. No. You're great at what you do. and you got to do it. And like you said, when you first started, you know, you're at an age now where you know what's important and what demands the energy, you know. Pick your battles.

Yeah. Pick your battles. I always talk about this in terms of Michael Jordan, like later in his career. Right. And he just knew. He just was such a genius and had all the experience and the talent that he, towards like the second half,

he knew where to, use his energy. What was going to be the place? It wasn't just go crazy like when you're young and you got to go, ha, he knew. How can people follow you when you go out on tour and stuff? I have a you know, less dog. It's my

Instagram with 4Gs, you know, because I'm a motherfucker G. And I have a YouTube channel. I don't know what it's called. Right. That girl over in the corner do. And, um, Um, you'll find it. You'll find it. You'll find it.

And if you are a voter of the Emmys, I would say consider like filling in the button. Yeah, for your consideration. For my consideration of life part two. On Peacock for everybody else who's not a voter who just wants to watch it. Well, it's actually on my YouTube channel now. Oh, it is. Yeah. I'm growing up in the world.

Oh, my God. All right. You got to go enjoy your bread. Text me and let me know how you like it. And I'll work on a cheese one. No, a sausage one. A sausage. See, you already forgot.

Sausage with cheese? Probably. Motherfucker, if you did that and it really turned out good, now you're going to have to make it for everyone. Because I'm going to tell Lenny and I'll be like, he made me sausage bread, and then he's going to see you and go, you made that bitch, sausage bread. All right, we're going to do it for sure. You're the best.

Man, I love you. I think I didn't realize how much I loved you until today. Really? That's weird because I've known for a long time. I know. I'm so sorry. Okay. We'll do it again. You promise?

Yes. Okay.