Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 38 - Tig Notaro

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

We break bread with the incredibly funny Tig Notaro and learn what it's like to survive on pickles and American Cheese. And we catch a Quick Bite with the one and only Jeff Garlin who has BIG plans for comedy in 2021. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's how we go. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for coming along and joining us at the table once again.

Very excited to share the show with you today. two great guests today. We are going to spend time with Tignitaro, who is one of the funniest, naturally funny people on the planet. There are a lot of people who learn how to be funny. There are a lot of people who are loud funny. There are a lot of different types of funny.

And then there are just certain people that are completely their own thing and move at their own pace and are just funny just comes out. And that is Tignitaro. Very excited. And then we are also going to spend some time, grab a quick bite rather, with, which I really do like these quick bites. And the response is really good on them too. I really, I like that you like them as well. with the great Jeff Garland. Two great people, because they are also two people who are very conscious about what they eat to improve their lives, which, look, we're not always talking just about stuffing our faces with hot dogs and buffalo wings on this show.

It's not a bad thing, but it's also nice to be a little responsible. I'm not completely off the rails with my diet either. We always, no one wants their arteries filled with blubber. So it's nice to have some balance of people who really enjoy their lives and add joy to our lives and to find out what they're eating. And both of them are pretty dialed in. So it's going to be a great show. Thank you so much for subscribing. Thank you so much for continuing to give us nice ratings.

The response has been great and we are continuing to grow. it's really a lot of fun and I thank you so much for all of your support and tell your friends about it and spread the word and tell Apple and Bill Gates if you have his number and Jeff Bezos. Wouldn't be bad to let him know what we're doing. I think that would be a pretty decent thing of you to do if you like us and if you're a friend of the show. I mean, if I was listening to your show and you asked me to do something like that, I would do it. What have I been eating lately? Well, I have to say, here we are the end of January.

And, you know, we talked about this a little before that it was going to possibly be dry January. Everybody seems to dial back and behave themselves right after the new year because they got fat over the holidays and drank too much and did whatever in excess. And then you decide, no, it's time to live like a regular human being for a while. while and the news events did not allow us to do that at all. Things went quickly crazy and everybody got really stressed and it's so funny. This whole experience of the pandemic and the political unrest and all the rest of it really put us all in the same mood at the same time. It really is pretty crazy how linked we all are. It's really been pretty fascinating. So many examples of it throughout the last 11 months.

And you think that what you're doing is unique, and then you just pick up a magazine or look online, and, oh, there's millions of people talking about the same thing, acting the same way, dealing with the same aggravations, and you're not that unique. I know we were always told you're a little snowflake from the time you're little, but you're really much closer to just one little dot in the giant snowbank, because we're all pretty much exactly the same.

an article just about cleaning up your desk because we're all working from our desks for the most part unless you're out there you know for everybody that is not allowed to go to work you're at home and you're on your kitchen tables and you're in your converted offices or your regular office and the anxiety that everybody is dealing with with the cords just the cords and I'm telling you this is how uh how fraught my the menu minutia of my life has gotten. I literally was spending hours trying to figure out where to put my cords, how to drape them. Why is it whenever I get up to go to the bathroom to my left, I am kicking out my computer cord. Maybe if I go the other way, but then my chair angles this way.

And I'm like, I'm losing my mind just from these six different chords and the lighting cord, all of the, I am losing my mind. What's wrong with me? And then I literally opened up a magazine and saw an article of how you can stop driving yourself crazy from the cords in your house. So we are all lined up in this crazy adventure. And another way that that happened was when I thought that I was the only one that was giving up dry January because of how crazy things were. Of course, another whole article about how everybody is talking about how dry January is no longer a thing because of how aggravated we are.

We are totally in sync, which in a way is kind of comforting to know that we're, as we're isolating, we are far, far, far from alone. So it is time to kind of like clean things up a little bit. So I definitely drank through the inauguration. I went all the way through and now it's kind of, you just feel a little bit. bit more of a sense of calm. And it doesn't have to do with what side or whatever. It's just, let's just get back to business as usual. And it's time to not feel like you need a drink every day and not feel like you need mac and cheese and other bags of fritos and other comfort foods

from your childhood to make you feel like everything's okay, like throwing a big blanket around your chubby body. It is, it's nice to kind of simplify things. And in that very very, We got hit with some pretty warm weather here in Los Angeles over the last week. And, you know, I always preach on Sundays with a good day to make a big meal and spend your whole day in the kitchen. Not when it's 86 degrees out for the first time in months and months. Yeah, it's hard to make a big giant red sauce and sit in there and sweat. There'll be time for that, but it felt like spring coming from the East Coast.

you know what I mean, like all of a sudden, oh, wait, we can go outside again. Ah, I remember my grill. Look at this. And so the Sunday meal became a meal I put together very quickly, which was just burgers, this beautiful, big-ass salad, and then roasted broccoli. And I've been sauteing broccoli, steaming it and then sauteing it with garlic. And my big trick of the year was peeling the broccoli stems. So they're not as rough. And then just and then sauteing them in a very Italian, maybe some butter thrown in, even with the olive oil.

And just having that big, you know, sauteed garlic oil, butter, broccoli. Very wintry kind of thing. But then just to chop some up, mix it with some olive oil and some breadcrumbs throw them in the oven, done. And it comes out and just has that kind of a little more rustic feel to it. Perfect. Go out to the grill. First of all, the dogs get so excited. They hear my tongs, my metal tongs. They start losing their minds. They know there's going to be meat involved for the first time in a long time. A lot of times meat isn't made in the house. When they hear those tongs, Tommy's doing something. And they run after me out to the grill. And I've got two best friends until the meat is gone.

and I've got some, you know, I'm with all veggies, so some veggie burgers and then just a straight-up regular burger. Ooh, simple, easy, put them on buns, toast the buns, bring it inside, condiment it up, salad just filled with hearts of palm and olives and little cherry tomatoes, throw in nice oil and vinegar and mix it up with salt and pepper, and it's a, dash of parmesan cheese. The whole meal was probably put together in with the chopping of the broccoli and making the salad maybe 40 minutes. And the windows were open, the doors were open. The nice little summer-like breeze was coming through. And it just reminded me, oh, of the simplicity, how you can just go back to just making something simple and fresh and good for you.

And la-di-da. It was like, oh, this is nice. This is, I can't wait till we can like, this is like our weekly, our weekly, our daily meals are just brought down to that basic thing. Not that I won't be throwing a, you know, nice pasta dishes in, but hey, no one's making a giant lasagna in June. Maybe, maybe. Nah, simple. It was nice. It was nice little break, especially after making stolen.

and making all of these great big meals and soups and all the rest of it, it just felt lighter and better and good. I also dove into, and this one I'm not really, I can't really endorse it too much. I made a, on our radio show, on our What a Joke radio show on the Sirius XM, we had a really great bartender making appearance, and he was giving us some tips on cocktails, which that I was all into. He was a great bartender, and he had some great ideas just about the practice of keeping things on hand and little tips. But he was obviously more of an artist and knew what he was doing and created a lot of great stuff.

So I'm all into going for it and getting into some new cocktails. And he gave me a recipe for something called the Tuxedo No. 2. He knows I like martini's, and this is kind of martini adjacent, and I gathered up all of the ingredients and made it, and I also did a little research on it. There are two tuxedo drinks, therefore, the tuxedo number two that he gave me the recipe for. I'm going to read to you what I found. This was from Epicurious. The Tuxedo, which drew its name according to bar lore, from the same place as the evening suit, the tuxedo, from Tuxedo Park, which is just north of New York City. It's an enclave of the elite upstate New York, and they say that this drink is a confusing character.

There are actually two tuxedo cocktails running around and have been since the early 20th century. One, this is the first one, which I did not make, which sounds more up my alley, generally believed to be the original, contains gin, sherry, and orange bitters. and is bone dry. The other, typically referred to as tuxedo number two, mixes gin, maraschino liqueur, vermouth, and absinth, and is lightly luscious. Both are good, but number two is perhaps more common. This version comes from Flora Bar in New York, which does a great job with the drink. Now, I gathered up all of the things except the absinth because I don't live in the 1800s

and have a drug problem. So I just got the Maraschino liqueur and the vermouth and the gin mix it together, put a little orange twist in it. It was good, but I have to say not worth it. Not worth having to wait around and try and find Maraschino liqueur and gin. You're either in on gin or you're out on gin, and kids, I am out on gin. And ever since I got drunk at the University of Delaware as a high school senior on gin, I've known that that mixes with me and is not healthy and is not good.

But I will say, nice breaking out of your routine. I've been drinking straight up kettle one martinis for such a long time. It's nice to try and take a run at something different. And that first tuxedo, just straight gin-sherry orange bitters, done, bone dry. That sounds pretty intriguing. But again, the gin, I'm out. But explore it. Find something different.

Go for it. I would tell you to look up online. The recipes all over the place. The tuxedo or the tuxedo number two and let me know how drunk it makes you. All right, let's start off with our good friend Tignitaro. She is one of the funniest people on the planet and will learn about her heart. terrible diet habits when she was young and how she cleaned up and is living a healthy, happy life because of some very easy adjustments.

Enjoy Tignitaro. It's hot today. Is this the podcast? Is this called Small Talk with Tom Papa? This is called, let's talk about the weather. Oh, it's hot today. Ooh, so. Yep.

It was a long week, huh? I can't believe it's Friday already. I know. What are you doing this weekend? I don't know. What's the weather going to be? Oh, I don't know. So good to see you, TIG.

Good to see you. As you know, I reached out to you, I guess right before the holidays, just to heap some praise on you for your podcast. Tigg and Cheryl Tried. true story, which is so great. It's so damn funny. And I was thinking as I was getting ready today to talk to you. I was like, I wonder if I am, part of me was thinking, you know, we talk about food and stuff on this podcast and you have this new nutrition drive right now.

But also, I think part of why I also asked you is just to hear you in between things. podcasts because it's so good to hear me in-between podcast yeah while i'm waiting for your next podcast i get to oh oh i see i was so flattered when you wrote i it was that um that surprising little oh my god i can't believe tom papa listened to that it's so good and enjoyed it's so good Cheryl is just, she and I, when we met, we were just truly off and running with the most cackly, giggly, nonsensical friendship. And it was, you know, I always loved her on curb, but I wasn't thinking, oh, she'll be a good friend of mine. Yeah. And people are oftentimes surprised that she's a good friend, but I don't know why.

but we do make each other laugh. It's really contagious too. And the balance is so good, which she's just kind of, she's just going off into the, into the ether at times. And you're like, I'm sorry, what? Just kind of, it's like you have a kite string

and you let it out for a while and then, okay, let's pull it back. Yes. We're trying to put on a show and we'll get lost in our laughter, love and then we have to regroup and remember that people might want to hear something more than nonsense. But they probably don't. Yeah, they're, like when you say, they're not paying for this. Yeah. But they are. Everyone's paying dearly for this.

Oh, it's so funny. So I know that you are, you're very healthy right now and you're, you're very healthy right now and you have attributed a lot of it to your diet and you are we spoke a little bit about that when you were on the radio show but let's go back before we get to how good and healthy you are and all the nice things that you eat now tell me about what you ate when you were a child where did you grow up i grew up in mississippi and texas and i i was a very picky eat I liked cheese and pickles. So that's, my mother used to say I lived off of air pollution. She said, I don't know where you get your nutrients.

It must be from air pollution. But, yeah, I just, I didn't have a huge connection or love for food. Right. And so, yeah, pickles and cheese. Was your mom trying to feed you? She was definitely trying to feed me. I just, I would rather be climbing up a tree or following the creek as far as it would go. And I just, I didn't understand people's interest in food.

Whereas, and I was obviously in a part of the country where it's food is such a huge, you know, people always say that, but food is such a huge part of every part. of every country and state. I know. Yeah, that's true. There's no state where they're like, there's no state where they're just like, nah. Pass on food.

Yeah, hard pass. Yeah, we're busy. It's also, it reminds me of when people say, you know, he's a good guy. He's a, he's a Midwestern guy. Or they'll say, you know, he's a good guy. He's a nice southern boy. He's a good guy.

He's a nice East Coast. It's like, yeah, Everybody's solid and good everywhere. Everyone's eating food everywhere. Let's be real about what we're saying. Okay. Yeah. And I always have a feeling like there's a bunch of comics now that are all talking about Texas, going to Texas.

And whenever I talk to them, they're like, oh, you got to come. California's done. Come to Austin. The barbecue is great. It's like, how many times a week? How many times a year? Am I eating barbecue? And that's going to like uproot your entire family.

Your children's friendships, their favorite teachers, done. I'm going to eat ribs. Right. Seven days a week of ribs. Honey, I know I've never mentioned it, but it's a passion of mine. And, yeah. I'm not going to get the gout out here. No matter how hard I try.

Let's go. Yeah. But yeah, I was a picky eater. Was there kind of a pickle, or is it all pickles? Oh, no, it was all pickle. I think it was dill pickles, you know. Just the typical kid-loving dill pickle-eaten situation. And cheese.

Like a sliced cheese, the plastic. The plastic kind. The plastic orange American cheese. that there's no reason to take the plastic off of. Right. Because you're just getting to more plastic. Yeah. But it was so satisfying as a kid opening that little flap and just that was something so good about that.

I remember when I was in sixth grade, I thought I was really maturing as an eater because my friend's grandmother made us sandwiches. it was an American cheese sandwich with mustard. And I thought, well, look at me. My mother was shocked that I was eating that with mustard because I really didn't like anything. And now of a sudden you're European. Yes. I started smoking, which I did start when I was nine.

Did you really? Yeah, I smoked really. Everybody in my family smoked so I could just hang out in my bedroom and smoke cigarettes and nobody would know. Really? Look, there's a reason they called me Huckleberry Tigg. I know. That's really the image I'm getting.

Like jeans that are too short but frayed at the bottom. Sure, shipwreck. No shoes. Yeah. It was Mississippi, you know. Yeah, yeah. So you, is there a strong accent that comes out of there? Oh, yeah.

Did you have to shake it? I clearly shook it. I remember we moved to New Jersey when I was nine and ten I lived there, and I remember my friends out there laughing hysterically whenever I would talk. But what's his name? I'm forgetting, I always try and... The area of Mississippi, I was born in Jackson, which is central, it's central Mississippi, but then we moved to the Gulf Coast.

And the Gulf Coast accent is very similar to the New Orleans accent. And I always explain to people, when you, if you go down to Mississippi and you will, if we continue our friendship, and you hang out with my family, they kind of all sound like, and I'm forgetting the guy's name, he's the politician guy that worked with Clinton, and he's always wearing his LSU shirt. Oh, not Granville. Yeah, yeah. he's got like that praying mantis face. Yes, he's the old praying mantis face. Why am I forgetting his name? But anyway, the way he sounds,

that's how my family down there sounds. Really? Yeah. You could have had that accent. I could have, but then my mother was very noir, like southern, you know, Tig, I'm your mother.

Tig, I'm your mother. You listen to me, you know. Oh, really? That sounds like, That sounds like Upper East Side. Well, it was, she was a debutante. She was New Orleans. And then my father was, he really pronounced his ours.

He was like that. Where's my mother did. Were they making, like, was your mother making Kajon food? Yeah. Were they all eating like big jumbalayas and you're just sitting there with a pickle? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, pickle et tufei. Yeah, people were having shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, all sorts of jambalia, all sorts of dishes like that was what I was surrounded by.

It's so funny that like people travel all around from all around the world just to get near that food. and you're just there with a slice of a craft cheese. A plastic and a pickle. Nope. No, thank you. And then my father managed a pizza restaurant when I was a kid, and you would think that I'd be in heaven, but I didn't like pizza. I just would have cheese pizza, but I just honestly would have preferred the cheese.

And how many packs of cigarettes are you smoking at nine? You know, I probably wouldn't up to packs of cigarettes till I was in eighth grade, but around nine I would sneak a few here and there. Right. Yeah. How long did you smoke for? I smoked until I was 25. And then I thought, you know, I don't want to be one of those people that's 50,

wishing I had quit when I was 25. So I quit. Right. And I will be 50 in March. So it's been almost 25 years. Wow, that's great. Yeah. Do you feel like you're less cool because you quit smoking?

Do you want to ask me that again? I mean, look at who you're dealing with. Tom, can you not see me through the Zoom? Yeah, but I feel like if there was a cigarette hanging from your lip, it would just up the whole thing. Yeah. You know, you want to see some? Oh, my gosh. I forgot.

This is on my wall. Hold on one second. Okay. Okay. All right. I'll show you cool. Okay. Not only is it cool, but it's about the dykeous photo I could possibly show you.

But I do have long hair in it. Whoa. Yeah. Look at that. That's it. Holy cow. You're changing a tire. You're changing a tire.

With a hat backwards. With a hat backwards, a cigarette hanging out long hair in 1956, it looks like. And a hole in my blue. jeans. Wow. When and where is that? That I don't, maybe Colorado, I think. It's either Austin or Denver. I don't know. But I think I was about 19. That is amazing. Yeah. I forgot. Man, oh man. Isn't it so funny? I could show you a picture of me in high school and you'd be like, what? Wait, who, like, I don't, like, I know this version of you. This is, I, I don't, like, I know this version of you. This is, I, met this version. I fell in love with this version. This is my version. That is, who is that? Yeah, what was your 19 year old or your high school version? My 19 year old. Pig tails? Close. Long curly, frowy hair, like long hair. I was an athlete in high school,

so I was in really great shape. I was just, yeah, bright-eyed. Wow. Send me some picks. It's so crazy. But I'll tell you what, I used to look at people like you with that cigarette hanging out of your mouth and think, I want to be like that. Yeah. And you know what? It's so sad. People, it's only to look cool that you start smoking. Yeah.

And then you look so foolish because you are tied to this addiction that is going to kill you. It's so uncool. It's such a crazy twist in the story. I keep a pack of cigarettes on my desk that I had as a prop for Halloween just so I can gesture while I'm doing the radio show. Yeah. Just to hold it, just to have it. No, I understand.

You don't even have to explain that to me. I also smoked in the womb. My mother smoked when she was pregnant with me. Right. She smoked and drank. Man, oh man. So funny. And look, no health issues.

Yeah. Yeah. And you sailed right through. Yeah, no problems. Jeez, Louise. So when you eat that sandwich with mustard on it, did that kind of open up things a little bit? Or were you like still just not really ever into? I was kind of, I just, I just wasn't into it. I ate what I had to eat, when I had to eat.

And then I don't feel like I really cared about food until I was in my early 20s or so. And then, yeah, not to skip too far ahead, but four years ago when I became vegan, it was a whole new love and eye-opening experience with food. Right, right. So when you're in your 20s, your typical 20s, just eating whatever you could afford and just grab, right? Like there's not much thought. No, there was, no, I wasn't trying to hit all the nice, fancy restaurants or try something. You know, it was just something to fill me up and keep going.

Yeah. When did you come out here when you were in L.A.? I moved to Los Angeles when I think I was 26. 26? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Where were you in your early 20s? I was in Austin and Denver.

Yeah. In Denver? Mm-hmm. And you started stand-up there? No, my friends, I have a gaggle of friends that I'm very close to from my childhood, and we've moved around the country together following each other's dreams and whoever gets into college or gets their masters and then we just have had this nice little family and then they moved out to Los Angeles for TV and film and I had no interest in moving out here and and then I went through a

breakup and when I went through my breakup it was truly days before my friends were leaving and it was going to be our moment where we went our separate ways. And I just tossed my stuff in their moving truck and I moved to Los Angeles and I said, I'm going to hang out here for six months until I feel better after that breakup. And then I'll go back to Denver. And then I, you know, being in Los Angeles, I saw all the open mics and I had been obsessed with stand-up my whole life. And I thought, maybe I'll just try an open mic. Wow. So you hadn't done anything up to that point? No.

And I thought Los Angeles was just Hollywood Boulevard and an episode of cops going on around Hollywood Boulevard. And I didn't see the appeal. Right. So. Were you really different when you first started, when you were first trying out stand-up? Different as a comedian?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was very, I think, insecure and had stage fright, so that I think I always had a very low-key personality, but my stage fright and fear kind of played into that, yeah, and I think accentuated it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm only asking because after seeing the old version of you, I'm not sure if you were like up there with a cigarette and just kind of like. Ashing on the front row. Chappelle was looking at you like, I could use that. Yeah. Actually, I went up to him and I said, I actually, I have something you can use that. But I'm going to be getting rid of. but yeah i i i i slowly you know what it is i started to think about how in life i always think about how it's never a bad idea to take your own advice and anytime i wanted to grow or change as a stand-up

i would have this part in my head saying no no no but that's not you your persona. You can't do that. And then this other part of me would be thinking, but I don't want to do that anymore. And if I imagined a comedian friend of mine saying, hey, I don't want to do props anymore, I just want to do this, or I don't want to do this anymore, I want to do props. Or I would never say, you need to stick with what you've always been. Don't evolve. Don't change or check anything out. Just stick with what you've been doing. And so that thought was helpful for me. Yeah, that's, it's pretty self-aware. I remember, I remember early on saying to Colin Quinn, like, I don't know, like, I don't know if I could just like shift gears and, you know,

I was moving around a lot or something. I forget even what was on my mind. But I remember saying, like, I don't know if I want to, if I have, it would. If I change right now, like, my fans would be like, what are you doing? And he's like, you're fans. I'm doing two spots a week, you know. And that's what's so crazy is I feel like from the beginning of my stand-up where I was way more subdued and one-liner person, comedian, to expanding into, I'm going to walk around. or I'm going to tell more than one line. I'm going to tell a 20-minute story.

I'm going to get more personal and honest. It's just that I've always tried to do exactly what feels right. And I noticed that barely anyone really noticed a transition because my voice is still in a one-liner. It's in a 20-minute story. It's whatever you do, your voice is going to be there. Yeah, you think it's these huge shifts. And they're like, oh, look, she's walking across now.

But nobody would think of, nobody is thinking about it. Yeah, at all. It is such a weird thing. It's a, what's really, I've been thinking about recently is so strange is why I think that people watching me is different from me watching other people. Like, when I watch other people, I love. all the in-between stuff, like how they take a sip of water or the pause is in between. I'm just like, I'm taking in all of it.

And then when I'm on stage myself, I'm like, I've got to fire out jokes as fast as possible. And thinking about the water, it's like, how am I going to stop and get that water? I really need that water, but I've got to tell these jokes right now. Like, wait a minute. Why is... You know, another thing, I know I'm unlike other comedians in the... And I do think, of course, it's so important to be writing all the time and to be generating new material. And I absolutely, it is a priority to me.

I am not a comedian that thinks you have to have a new hour every year, that if you did it on TV, you can never say it again. I don't believe in any of that. Because when I think of going into a club and seeing, let's say, somebody I adore and think is hilarious, Maria Bamford, or you or anybody that really cracks me up and I know their material. If they did one of my favorite jokes, I would be so, of course, I don't know that I want to see somebody's special all over again every time I see him for the next five years. Sure. But if you sprinkle in a bit that I love or that you clearly love telling, I don't think.

you're a lame comedian. No, absolutely. I just can't get on board with that like, oh, wait, you're doing that? I thought you did that on TV. Didn't you already burn that? I know. That's your world. Yeah.

I'm fine with doing that again. Yeah. And one part of that that really bothers me is how good does everybody think they are? I know. How good? Oh, they think they're good. Of a writer. Really?

They think that, oh, well, I'm just going to keep blazing out this stuff. It's like, we have a whole generation of first draft comedians. I know. It's like really something. Yeah. And like you ever do, you ever like reach really back, like if you're doing a show for somebody and just, it just happens that one of your oldest jokes of all time fits in this moment and you pull it out and do it. The laughter on those jokes. are so strong because they've grown and they've matured and you know it and it's you and it's such a

thing. It's like, why would I not do that? So some comedian who's not thinking about me, I'm thinking is thinking. Oh, they're thinking about you, Tom. Yeah. God. It really, it's, it's, it, you have to get out of your head and, and out of what you think. is expected of you and really get in touch with, I mean, that's just how I feel, because I truly, there is, there is a joy in seeing people grow and write and change, but there's also a joy in hearing one of the greatest hits every now and then. Right, exactly. No, but that's what, that's what I'm always so impressed with you. It's, it's, it's the combination of, uh, of, of Confidence and freedom is what are the two biggest words that, I mean, funny, of course,

but confidence and freedom. It always seems like you're very sure of yourself when you're performing. And there's like, you can tell like if there's a shift and you're going to do something in the moment, you're not afraid to go off and venture, which is, I don't know. It's one of those things that's very difficult, unless you've been on stage, it's very difficult to understand that a lot of times our head pins us in and gives you very little room up there. And you seem to have broken down those kind of those walls for yourself. Well, I think, again, well, thank you. And it was also making me laugh to think of just being

confident and free. It just sounds like a lunatic up there. Wee! Which I guess it can be the case at times. It's not, sometimes humor, the comedy doesn't show up and just the confidence and freedom is running rampant for an hour. She hasn't said anything funny, but. Not in years. But very confident. Look at her chest out there.

Really enjoying herself. Oh, my gosh. Bought tickets to her own show, in fact. I saw her standing in line outside. She waited for two hours. She believes in herself so much. But I think it's just a part of that process of shedding old skin and thinking, because I have felt confined on stage where I'm like, oh, I'm low-key.

I do one-liners or I do like three beats to my joke. And I remember a comedian coming up and giving me a note on this old job. joke of mine and he said hey you know I feel like that only has two beats and you should do another and be like and boom boom boom and then it's going to hit so much harder and it was a moment of growth for me where I just said you know you do you do your thing I'll do mine and and just feeling like I know that's the formula but I'll go ahead and take this risk and just have two beats to my my bit. Yeah.

But growing and evolving and evolving and feeling in those moments where a wall might typically be in my mind where I'm like, well, I know I'm feeling excited about this memory I just had that this joke is triggering, but I can't leave this joke. I'll have to remember that and write it down. or and I just have reached a point where I'm like, I'm going to do my material. And then if something comes up or something shifts on stage, I am going to go with it because it feels so good. It feels so good to perform written and and tried and true.

And it feels so good to take those weird risks on stage where you're just like, I don't know where this is going. Yeah. No, it's the best. And it really is like at this point, if you're not going to do that at this point, it's like people like you. Like you know what I mean? Like people you people know who you are. They know you're funny. They give you the, they just want to be in the room and see what's going to happen. It's like the only person that could possibly stop that is is yourself. And at this point of doing stand up, I think I'm 23 years in and something like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 23 years in. And it is that feeling of, I can't do this. I can't do this for much longer and just be confined by these structured old jokes. I have to kind of make myself happy up here. Or, you know, it's like that magnet on refrigerators in Middle America.

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Right. Yeah, you're just up there doing cats over and over night after night. Oh, man. Okay, so let's, let's, uh, Jambalaya. Yeah, so Jumbalaya. So you, you're kind of like, you're flailing around, you're eating, food's never really that big of a thing, but then you go through some health issues and stuff and you have to,

you have these really big challenges and you get through them all. At what point did diet come in as, hey, this is probably a factor that could make me feel better? You know, I heard it all along. Of course, you hear it as a kid that you have to eat your fruits and vegetables. Yeah. And there is that, I think, common feeling of yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Because you feel invincible. And you also don't understand the science of how crucial this stuff is.

Mm-hmm. And that's something that I really believe in, especially with my children, whether it's food or anything else, instead of just telling them you have to eat your fruits and vegetables, tell them why you have to eat your fruits and vegetables. Explain why, not just you have to do this. And so I always knew that in the way everyone else knew it. And then when I got really sick with an intestinal disease, an invasive cancer, and all sorts of very potentially deadly and painful things, I heard it even more. I did some research, but like a lazy human, I just was carrying on and thought, okay, I'm in remission. I'm feeling a lot better. I can just wipe the sweat off my brow

and continue on with life. The problem was I was still suffering in other ways. I still had pain. I still had chronic pain. I've been in chronic pain for eight years. And it was so, you know, it wasn't a fun part of my story to come through deadly diseases and people are cheering me on and for me to say, oh, but I'm also

struggling to stand or get out of bed or eat. And then I think it was having children and I had twins that fortunately and unfortunately are in the 99th percentile and they were big old babies. and it was hard to lug them around. It was hard to be present. And it really made me even more aware of the pain I was in. And so I also didn't want to drive Stephanie away because I was daily saying, oh my gosh, I'm in so much pain.

When I was filming my TV show, One Mississippi, I was in every scene, I can tell you, oh, my God, I was in so much pain here, and so there. And so I was just sick of myself. And I went on tour and I was going to be gone for a couple of weeks and I just sat down when I would get back to my hotel room at night and I started watching documentaries. I started educating myself, reading, watching and learning as much as I could.

And then I thought, since I'm away from my day to day, I am going to just try a plant-based diet for two weeks. And if it does nothing for me, worst case scenario, I ate healthy for two weeks. That's the worst case scenario. And then I can just go back to eating plastic cheese and holding my stomach and complaining to my wife. and get back to the good old days, you know. Wandering down the pickle aisle. Yeah. Oh.

And I had immediate results. I mean, from stomach pain to inflammation in my body, just everything, clarity in my brain. I cannot express enough the instant. change. And I'm not 100% there, but I can function. All right. If you can hear me, it froze again, but this shot's not great. Okay. Am I back? There you go. Now you're back.

It keeps saying my internet is unstable, so I don't know. It was right when you were exalting. I don't know if it's going to, I might have to call in again. It's okay. No, it's going right now. We'll see. then just drop and call back. So yeah, I just, I, I, I'm not 100% there, but I am definitely able to, um, function. And I'm not in 24 hour, seven days a week pain. Amazing.

I would say I'm, you know, I would say 80, 85%. I think that's. Wow. It's amazing how quick that happened. It's amazing. Tom. I mean, it is and it isn't in a way. Because the stuff we eat really does affect us.

Instantly. Instantly. Yeah. It's like, I always tell people if you put dirt into a gas tank, your car is going to die or be suffering for. Right. You're going to have to see a mechanic. But if you put the fuel. the top-notch fuel that it needs, it's going to run for a long, long life. And I can feel

pain dissipate when I eat right. I can, I, it's, it's night and day. And yes, it's surprising, but it's not when it, that it's quick because your, your body, it reacts to it very quickly. You can damage yourself and you can heal yourself quickly. Because we're here, stuck in the house, to the point where we're not. not even going out to the store. Like, we're back to that now. Yeah. Where I'm just, I'm just here.

I'm just in these walls. And woke up the other day, headachey, sinusy. And I was like, where would I have, I just felt like crap. I'm like, why would, why, why? I didn't go anywhere. I'm still here. No one else has gone anywhere. What is it?

And I was like, oh, I haven't had a vegetable in two days. Yeah. I literally have been eating shitty takeout. Right. with fill with cheese and Mexican food and just, I mean, and it was all fun at the moment. But, but that's the only. Who's laughing now? Yeah, but that was the only thing from the outside that was going inside me that could

possibly have caused this reaction. Yeah. It's insane. I've been, I've been following this diet. It's very straightforward. It's called the how not to die diet. or how to not die, how not to die diet. And I have a list of, it tells you all the things you need to hit in a day.

Oh, wow. And this diet is what has made me feel great. And so I keep that list, but I know the list by heart now. I know how many servings of what that I need. Right. And when I'm not on it, I can feel it. I can feel it. Wow.

Do you enjoy it? Is it room for like making stuff that you like to eat? Absolutely. But there are things that I, I, there is, I would say two thirds of the food that I eat. Well, first of all, I love everything I'm eating. But two thirds of it, I am eating just to hit those points. And it's like, you know, a serving of berries, three servings of miscellaneous fruit, cruciferous vegetable.

I make sure I hit the seeds, nuts. Right. But I also will have just a generic vegan meal. Right. But I make sure that I am hitting, if not all of them, I'm hitting about 80 to 90% of it. And that's kind of the idea is just to aim for as much of that as you can get into your diet every day.

That's interesting. It's not just about cutting stuff out. It's adding good stuff in. Yeah. I mean, I have cut a lot of things out of my diet. Right. And people think it sounds rigid or boring. And you know what's very boring is lying in bed or in a hospital.

That's extreme. And having the surgeries I've had, those are extreme. Yeah. Those aren't, that's, yeah, that's not fun. Eating an apple is not extreme. Right. My daughter is 15. And she just discovered on her own, she's very into her health.

And she just discovered, I feel like shit when I eat cheese. Uh-huh. I'm not eating cheese anymore. And we're, you know, we're an Italian-based kitchen. There's a lot of cheese flying around. Sure. And but I'm doing everything I can to support her because I know that she feels better because when I don't eat cheese, I feel better. I don't have, I don't have the fortitude to knock it out the way she is.

But she feels great. I mean, it's just a no-brainer. A lot of people believe cheese is even worse than meat. Really? Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, boy. Like, well, there's no cheese and pringles. That's pretty good.

Yeah, pringles are, that's what you want to aim for. You want to get your pringles serving in and your cruciferous vegetables. And then you should be good. You should be good. I don't, I, I know that broccoli is cruciferous and cauliflower. But whenever I'm, whenever I'm cooking for everybody and I just make any vegetable and I want them to eat it, I just say, it's cruciferous. You really should just eat it. Yes. It could be a string. It's squash. It's yellow squash. Trust me, it's cruciferous. It just sounds so impressive. So how long have you been eating like this in total? Four years now. Whoa.

I started on my son's first birthday. And is it second nature at this point? It's not even... Oh my gosh. It's... It's... It is nothing. It is nothing. I feel great. And if I want junk food, there is plenty of vegan delicious. I know people doubt it, but there's delicious, vegan ice cream, vegan pizza, vegan cheese. It's out there and I just, I can't stress enough that there's nothing, there's no loss in my life. Are you, and this will be my final question, are you overjoyed that you've gone through all of this, you have this great career, you've overcome all this stuff, you find this diet, you're freeing yourself of pain to know that pickles are vegan?

They're not. What? I got you, Tom. I had to get the last laugh. there's pork that they sneak into the center okay sorry oh there you are it's like your computer new they're like no you said that was it i wanted to get the last laugh but then the internet was like that was a dumb joke so i'm gonna have to cut you off there oh man well i thank you so much for doing this tig it's really a cool story and i you know there

There really is no excuse for people to eat and feel like shit. It's basically what it comes down to. Well, there are, there is an excuse and there's a lot of excuses, but you shouldn't make, make the excuses and just do a little research is what I encourage people to do and try things out. Or even, Tom, if you're ever curious, if you think, oh, you know, I do want to get rid of this in my diet, or I am interested in this. I am more than happy to help. Yeah.

And are you thinking about, it seems like you're thinking about maybe doing something with this to spread the word or is it like it's... I am. I am. It's on the horizon. But in the time being, whenever somebody has an interest or they want to talk about it, I'm, I am more than happy to help and give suggestions. I'm not going to be the, I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean, I can't claim I'm not an annoying vegan, I certainly am, but I'm not going to hound people or say, don't eat that or do that in front of me. But if somebody is interested in changing or finding new options, then I'm all in. Well, that's so great. Well, look, if I'm about to change my diet or not, I'll pretend that I'm thinking about it, just so we can call and talk some more.

Okay. Well, I, as you know, adore you, and I think you are hilarious, and I always look forward to talking to you. And I just am glad that you included me. Oh, you're the best. Yeah. What do you think of that? I know. That's exactly how I feel.

Thank you, Tigg. I'll see you really soon. Thanks, Tom. All right, bye. And now, let's take a quick bite with our good friend, Jeff Garland. One of the funniest people on the planet as well. You know from the Goldbergs, from curb your enthusiasm, from a stand-up comedy career, a good friend of mine,

Jeff Garland. Let's get him on the phone. Hello? Ah, there you are. How are you, buddy? I'm okay. How you doing, man? I'm doing all right

I was just in the desert It made me think of you Oh where in the desert were you I was in Rancho Mirage Oh okay Very nice It's nice out there It is nice out there

I spent quite a bit of time out there Yeah it seems very relaxing I used to have a house there Oh that's right In Palm Springs It's still there but I don't own it How you've been I haven't seen you in a beat

We were going to get together last week, but you had to push it. I'm just, yeah, it's all hitting me now. Coming. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, I'm busy. I'm busy. You're really busy. Yeah.

How are you, what have you been eating lately? Did you, I decided I was going to try and clean up in January, but then it was too stressful of a month. So I'm sitting probably five, extra pounds right now. Oh, that's not me because I'm not. Although I've been having trouble with eating. You have?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I actually called my special therapist in New York who deals with my addiction, my eating addiction, and I'm on a good groove, better groove. Oh, nice. Yeah. What is you, what were you, when you do fall off, what do you start doing? Oh, I don't, I don't know. No, no, I just.

eat late at night or uh-huh uh yeah that's pretty much it just eating it but eating because i have emotional shit as opposed to eating you know because i'm hungry right and i don't eat the cookies cake and ice cream crap i still you know so i was you know i've been on the wagon in terms of my eating for years and now i i've never fallen off the wagon but i was hanging on the side of the wagon so I said that point. And I'm much better. It's amazing how impressive you were with it all. You really decided you were just not going to eat like sugar.

Well, yeah, you've got to sit with your feelings. That's really what it is. You'll say how to lose weight. I sit with my feelings. Whereas I also eliminated the big triggers, which are, you know, major sweets. Right, right. You know? Well, that's why I was a, even,

to the point of you only wanted whole wheat bread delivered. You're whole grain bread. I mean, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really true. I still, I mean, white flour just turns to sugar in my body, and I have diabetes, so it's bad.

It's bad, although I have told you before, by your bread is ridiculously amazing. I've had both the whole grain and the white flour and all of it is just nuts. I mean, have you ever seriously considered opening up a bread place? I have thought about it, but it's so much work. Well, yeah, well, by the way, that's a thing. Any business is a kind of work, yeah.

Yeah, and it's nice to, like, daydream, like, oh, it'd be cool to have a little bread shop and have people, my friends come in and pick up bread. And then, you're like, those people are working at 2 o'clock in the morning to have that bread ready. Well, remember that commercial time to make a little bit of bread shop. the donuts. Yeah.

That's what it is. You have to get up at like four in the morning to get to your bakery. Bakery is an early morning job by the afternoon. The stuff is all gone. I know. I know. I have to say, we will have to schedule and I'll bring bread up to you and we'll sit outside and distance during this insanity.

Please, please. But I really liked your posts on Instagram. over the weekend with Larry King and Jerry Lewis. And then I thought to myself, well, that's why I enjoy doing podcasts because they're similar, whereas if you look at any talk show on TV, who has conversations? Is there anyone? I know. No, no.

Did you like Tom Snyder? Did you like Tom Snyder? He was a bit annoying, and I did a good, but let me ask you a question, sir. So you like pottery? How long do you like pottery for? Is it something that people would like? And that's surprising if you ask me. I don't like it.

I used to do a bunch better. I haven't heard his voice in a long time. But I, yeah, I liked. But that thing, just two people sitting across from each other and talking. Yeah, Charlie Rose was the last one, and we know what happened to him. Yeah. He likes wearing robes. Yeah, he likes low-walking.

He's slow walks from the shower. Yeah, that was just repulsive. You know, I had heard rumors about that, about him from someone in the know years before. And I'm like, really? That was like so shocking to me. Yeah. It all came out, you know. Hey, but you know what?

A scumbag's a scumbag. Yeah, I remember hearing drinking things. So I had never heard like the. Well, I heard them. Well, I think they're connected. Yes. I think you're right. Yeah, that's what I think.

I think they're definitely connected, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to go on Instagram at 7 o'clock. Oh, wow. Yeah, I love that too. I love that. Love wrinkle. Yeah, but I don't want to do it anymore.

I thought I would do it and it would be like a kind of a, not a replacement, but a nice thing without doing stand-up, but the way of interacting with it. Instagram live is actually not conducive for, it's a lot of me playing the part of producer. Yeah. Like I would rather have someone else have the phone. Just surprise me who I talk to.

Right. Pop up a question. Yeah. I'm doing it. I don't like it. So I'm announcing that tonight. I'm going on for 20 minutes and then announce that I don't like it. Yeah.

Well, you're one of the, you're busier than most people during quarantine. And you have an outlet at least. No, I don't. You don't? No. I mean, Goldberg's is, you know, it's a mainstream television comedy. It's an honor to be on it, you know, and I love the people I work with, but that's not an outlet at all. That's like a really, it's a really great job is one.

Right. And then Curb, yeah, there's a level of it being an outlet on Curb. It is more creative, but I am. working with Larry David's vision. It's Larry David. By the way, it always helps to be working with someone as a genius and I will never stop doing that show. Yeah.

It's such an honor to be on that show. Of course. But I, no, no. But it's not your, but it's not you standing up there for an hour and just letting your brain empty out. And then the thing with the Instagram also, not only is it me producing, if you, well.

Yeah. But it's not really conducive to being funny. Right. No, I know. It's conducive to being interesting if you have that ability. Yeah. It's not me being funny. I need to be on stage.

And are you still doing shows during this period or no? No, I was. I was up until November. I know I made fun of you, if you recall. Yeah. I said, you're an idiot. I think the idiot came up quite a few times. And then, you know, Chappelle,

Dave Chappelle this is I guess about a month ago maybe a little longer he's like come to Austin I have everybody tested please you want to fly to Austin and I said I'll consider it you know and the more I thought I'm like no fucking way

and then the dude gets COVID I know I know there's no way around it and I yeah I was I picked my spots and did it a couple times but then I was like I just felt like I was pushing my luck I was like well I know that at some point hopefully I'm hopeful that the next month I get my shot and then as we move forward with that I anticipate doing stand up in the fall I do too that's my safe guess that was my guess about about you know six months ago was I think it's not going to be until September that I and so and you know what I'm thinking of doing and you're the first person I'm telling this too I'm thinking of doing I'm thinking of doing I'm thinking of doing

a tour of comedy clubs and not getting paid i'll have them pay my agents whatever fee right you know if i was getting a hundred dollars and my agents were getting ten dollars i'll have them pay my agents ten dollars obviously that's not the amount yeah that's smart but but i'll have my agents i don't want my agents to not they're going to book it and stuff i don't want them to do it for free that's weird for me to volunteer but i'll i'll do it where they just get i'll pay my own travel I'll pay my own hotel and you just pay my agents and I'm coming.

That's great because the clubs really need it. That was the one thing that was so great about going out and doing anything the staff. The staff is so grateful that they still had their job. I'm going to do this,

I'll do it probably through the end of this year like September, October, November, December, I'm going to do it. That's a great idea. Because then also I go into 2022 being in comedic shape. you know yeah what to be what to feel good then I can start doing some theaters and start

doing some stuff where you know you just got to come up with a catchy name for the tour the grandma's balls that one's good papaya gym you know giving back you know all right I will make your bread I will make your bread this week and I'll let you know when the cycle's done and I'll come up and deliver it. All right. Well, you're a handsome young nurse and I will talk to you soon. Thank you. Love you.

Love you too. Bye. Bye. Okay, everybody, that's it. That was our big show. I hope you had a good time. Thank you to Tignitaro. Thank you to Jeff Garland.

You guys are the best. Again, subscribe, like, do all the things you're supposed to do to keep this fun going. You guys kick ass. I'll see you next time on Breaking Bread with Tompapa.