Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 39 - Negin Farsad

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

The funny and talented Negin Farsad shares the joy of growing up with Persian food and we grab a Quick Bite with Ryan Hamilton in Idaho, who answers all my potato questions. Spud Money!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus It's time for Breaking Red with Papa Hey! Don't you know Hey, it's how we go. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey.

Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I'm Tom Papa. Thank you for spending some time with us. Thanks for stopping in. We're going to have a wonderful show for you today. I'm very excited about our guests. We have Nagine Fassad, who is an amazing, writer and comedian. So great. She's going to spend some time with us and share some Persian food

memories. And then we have the great Ryan Hamilton back on the program answering some potato questions that I have. I have run into some problems with potatoes lately. Ryan comes from Idaho. He'll know. He'll give us the potato tips and answers to some of the most perplexing potato questions. that I've had. It's going to be great. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for subscribing and being part of the family.

We love doing this podcast for you, and we want to keep it rolling, so the more that you subscribe and give little reviews and little stars and tell your friends about it, it just continues to grow and it continues to be a lot more fun, and it's all because of you.

This is a great thing to do, and I thank you for being a part of it. We have a great show for you today, I have been, I have to say, I was giving some thought to it as I was coming into the podcast today. And I've actually, I haven't had any wine in a week. I haven't had a cocktail in a week. I haven't gravitated towards any cheesy, fattening comfort foods, which was all a knee-jerk reaction of what I would call the troubles. Another side effect, my eye is no longer twitching.

My eye, which was twitching, which only does during extreme anxiety. And it was all through January. It's no longer twitching. There is a calm across the land. And without planning on eating healthier, without planning on not drinking, life just kind of has restored itself to some normal rhythm. Don't you feel that way? Like it just kind of is, all right, we're in this groove. We still have this pandemic to get out of whatever. There's still aggravation and things in the world, but not at that high fever pitch that we all went

through coming up to the final, that final, or the first actually, the first month of 2021. It just kind of, just kind of has calmed down a little bit, and I found myself just eating simple things. This is kind of the ying and the yang of it all. I had, of course, still baking bread. Of course, I've been still, I'm just dialing in the sourdough loaf with just mostly a whole wheat flour with a little, just a trace of all-purpose flour thrown in and just getting really consistent with it and giving it to all of my friends who I've been giving the bread to for a long time. And they've all been a little bit more satisfied, a little more impressed. They've always enjoyed it. It's always been good, but it seems like I just wanted to raise it to this other level and just kind of cruise there.

And look, I've said before, repetition with all of this cooking, with all of the great meals in your life. Learning to do a couple things really well. That is, uh, that is the secret to life beyond food. You know, the first time through, it's not going to be that great. You're going to screw it up. It's going to be weird. Uh, the one cool thing that I wanted to explore a little bit more. And I am really ignorant of the culture is Asian food. I love eating it. I love getting it. I love when other people make it. And I, you know, I'll throw a stir fry once in a while. We do a no meat Mondays where it's going into the tofu and broccoli, which I've made since college, where I just take some white rice left over from the Chinese food, throw it into a

walk with some broccoli, braise up some tofu and chuck it all together and just douse it in soy sauce. Simple. But, you know, that's not the way you do it. If you go to my Asian friends' homes, they're going to have things in the cabinet I don't have. I've got cans of whole. peeled tomatoes. I've got tomato paste. I've got pecorino cheese, parmesan cheese. The things that these great recipes, I was like, all right, let me just do tofu and broccoli. Let me just improve on what I've been doing and give the family something good. They were all veggies. Let me, let's go. Let's not think that this is not food to be celebrated and and that I can't learn any more about it. Let me let me dive into it a little bit. Just looking up

online, a couple tofu, broccoli recipes. I didn't even have all the ingredients. Of course, I didn't have the ingredients. Like I said, I'm a tomato paste pantry. And the things that it was calling for, cooking sherry, dark soy sauce. I only know soy sauce, the light sodium one. Hoysen sauce. always ginger, had that, had garlic, sesame oil, peanut oil. These are things that are not always at the ready. I had some of them from other attempts at other times. It makes you question how, when is peanut oil bad or sesame oil?

Can it last for seven years in your cabinet? Probably not. but just taking a little more time with another culture and trying to educate myself a little bit, it was so much better than anything I've made in the six years since I graduated college. So much better. I mean, mine is good. It's just a staple. Throw it in there.

Throw a little stuff in on it. Put a little garlic in the oil and soy sauce on top. Fine. But you know what? it really made me think you can get good at this again i'm not going to go try and do every dish from every culture i'm going to pick some of the all-stars some of the classics and this tofu and broccoli with this special sauce on the side yes there is a little trick you know like you know the same way that people are putting together great italian dishes or what have you a lot of sugar a lot of sodium

but let's keep that aside for now. Let's just go after taste. I killed it. I killed it. The family was very happy so much so that you always know you made something really good when you make enough for everybody and it ends up not being enough for everybody because they're into it and they plow through it. It's the only thing. You can't ask, is it good? Do you like it? If it's gone quickly and they're looking for more, then you did your job. Other than that, you didn't nail it. Then on the other side, another thing that I did, I got some elk from my buddy Joe Rogan,

who is a great friend and a great elk hunter, and these animals are gigantic, and he is way more than he can feed to himself and his family. So I, like a scavenger out on the African plains, I hover around the camp and wait for some scraps. And he hooked me up with a good amount of it. And I called my buddy Ryan, who's a great chef friend of mine, Ryan, and he gave me the ingredients I never, again, all about learning.

Chimmy Chori sauce. He's like, if you're cooking wild game, chimmy Chorri sauce, what is that? I had no idea. I've heard kind of a little bit about it, didn't really know. parsley, garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper, food processor, zip it all together. This great little sauce with this just simple grilled elk for five minutes out on the grill with salt and pepper, nothing more. Oh boy.

Game changer. Game changer. And all of this, very lean, very lean, not heavy cheeses, not heavy carbs. And working out, no more. more eye twitch, ah, it just feels good. Does that mean that when I ramp up to the Super Bowl at the end of this week, I won't be going nuts with wings and seven-layer dips and Cheetos by the handful and cool ranch Doritos like I was 12 years old again? Let's not get crazy. You know, I have the mentality of good, healthy eating the same way I do with exercise.

If I do it three days in a row, I act like I've been doing it for a year and a half. But this is the time of year to kind of be doing it, to kind of dial it in, to do things simple, just roast your broccoli, just roast. I did have roasted asparagus last night. I went into a, last night just baked potato, roasted asparagus and a little elk on the side and some veggie burgers for the kids. And my wife and everybody was happy and very simple and everything's healthy and happy and wise. And I didn't go. diving into big sugary desserts after. Ah, just like a, just like a sponge being, just squeezing out all of the stuff it's soaked up

since November. Very excited for the show today. The first guest, Nagin Fassad, Nagin and I met doing, wait, wait, don't tell me. She's so smart. She's so funny. She was voted one of the 50 funniest female comedians on Huffington. on Huffington Post. She is really smart.

I just love people like this. Smart, funny. She wrote a book, How to Make White People Laugh that was recommended by Oprah Magazine. She's a great podcast called Fake the Nation,

which is a political comedy podcast on the Earwolf Network. And she's a regular on Wait, Wait, don't tell me because she's quick, she's funny, she's thoughtful.

Always looks amazing, just a, styley dresser. She's just, she's an artist. She's an artist. And it's going to be a great conversation with her. She is of Iranian descent. And it's really nice to talk to people from other cultures and how they grew up. It's also very funny to talk to people who are like second generation who grow up here in America, but you also have this background of your culture. We've had numerous guests on the program who were like, yeah, I grew up Italian, but I ate nothing. but cool ranch.

She's just amazing. You're going to love her. And then like I said, we're going to get a quick bite with Ryan Hamilton. And this really came in last night when I was baking baked potatoes. And I was like, wait a minute, is this potato? Can I still cook this when it looks like this? Is this okay? And I just, all these years of not knowing the answer,

we're going to give Ryan Hamilton a call and get the answers to our potato questions with a quick bite. with the great Ryan Hamilton. But first, please enjoy the talented Nguine Fasad. So good to see you. Yes, I'm here. You always look so stylish. Oh, thank you.

I got to be honest, I love clothes. And whatever that says about me, I'm fine with it, but I love clothes. So there it is. It's the best. You always look so great. How do you find it all? because it's all unique too. This is the thing that always bothers me about, about, because I don't know.

I tend to like clothes, but I've seen you looking quite dapper. Yeah, but then I find something. And then I see, like, two other guys at my daughter's recital with the same thing from Jake Drew. No, the sad thing about dude clothes is that, like, you know, for something to be like, oh, how interesting. It's like, it'll have, like, an extra line here. like along the arm, or like the button is just like a little off color and you're like, that's so interesting, you know? So I feel sad for dudes who can't like go to the full spectrum of expressing themselves,

like within the patriarchal masculinity spectrum. It really is so funny. I literally, I was watching the inauguration, of course, the other day. And when Amanda was reciting her poem. I was like, it's so moving, it's so inspiring, all this other stuff. But literally what was going through my head was, I wonder if I should wear more yellow. You're like, no, no, no, democracy is great, great, whatever. But let's talk about that shade.

Is that a marigold yellow? What are we looking at? Yeah, I'm like, men don't wear enough yellow. I mean, they really don't. And I'm a huge fan, actually, of yellow. There's some yellow walls of my apartment, I'm not ashamed to say. Oh, really? Good for you. Do you do the thing where you'll do like a one wall color? Tom, it's called an accent wall and the answer to that is absolutely.

Yeah, my wife is into the accent wall too. And it's always, it's always orange for some reason. She's always pushing orange. You know, it's because it's fun. It's warm. It gives you a little, uh. Yeah. I heard you on, uh, on wait, wait last week, which was. So great. You were so funny. Thank you. You're always so good on that show. And you got to speak with Phoebe Bridges, which is so cool.

And you guys really had, I was so excited because a lot of times when the guest comes on, the comedians don't really get to interact so much. It's usually they kind of like buzz along, maybe someone gets a little comment or something. But you guys actually had a road moment, which really. Did that speak to your soul? Oh my God. So just for listeners, I, so the question to Phoebe Bridgers was do you miss touring? And, you know, she talked about like, you know, complaining about touring and worrying that she had caused the pandemic because she used to complain about touring. I'm sure we've all had ridiculous things where we're like, did I cause the pandemic because I wore these, you know, one pair of pants too many times or whatever stupid thing we all think.

And I complain about touring, you know? I'm sure you've complained about touring. Sure. Yeah. And, but now I'm in a space where, like, I truly daydream about the various regional airports that I am no longer. And they're like, oh, was it an auntiems at the Sheboygan airport or was it a Cinebunabon? Oh, God, I wish I could go there either way. And Phoebe said she's had entire meals at Hudson News.

And when she said that, I was just like, we're the same person. Me and her were the same. Oh, I know. I literally was like, oh, Hudson News. Oh, man, oh, man. Were you touring a lot? Were you touring a lot the last year? Well, you know, I don't actually, I mean, I would say I don't tour that much,

but I do a lot of flying. So, like, in an average month, I'm on a plane, you know, five or six times. And then the times when I have toured, I think touring is like the, I think the last time I did, I did it was maybe two years ago, whatever. And I think it's fun. Like you get to see parts of the country. To me, it kind of is all, it's so fast pace. I don't feel to, you know, it doesn't really upset me that much, to be honest, because I'm always like, what's next? Oh, and then what's next?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. So it's kind of exciting in that way. Yeah, I know. We said we had this news story. I'm sure you saw about the guy who had been living in the Chicago O'Hare for three months. They just busted him. He was literally... Wait just now this happened?

I'm going to say, isn't it the movie with Tom Hanks based on the true story of the guy who was stuck in a terminal? But no, this is a pandemic story. A pandemic story. The guy's from California. and he got frightened about COVID and stopped at Chicago, which is like the worst place to stop at O'Hare. And he's just been bumming around for three months. And he tried to get into some designated area.

And they stopped him and it all came out that he hasn't left that airport in three months. And normally that story would be like, what a nutbag. And I was like, oh, yeah, O'Hare. I know where he's going. Get that Starbucks right between the two terminals. Don't forget the deep dish pizza hut that you can get at that Chicago O'Hare. How are you on the road with eating? I mean, I would say in my regular life, like, I'm pretty good with eating.

Like, I don't know where the Mickey D's are. Like, I don't see them. You know what I mean? I don't see, like, I have fast food, blindness in my own home. Yeah. And so I feel like that's good. But then the minute you're on the road, it's like the most visible things are the fast food things. So you're like, how can I justify chicken big nuggets as a protein dish? You know? And that's what, like it just, it's in some cases, especially like when you're driving. I mean, I think, you know, it really depends on where you are,

how big the city is and all that stuff, like what you can get. Um, And so I would say I'm not the best on the road. But it actually just reduces my appetite. Because the thing is, like, with fast food, oftentimes, I don't know if you found this. It, like, puts a film of grease in my mouth. Do you know this film? Yes. There's like a film.

And I can't handle it for too many times. So then it just reduces my appetite. So then I don't actually even gain weight, which I always anticipate, like, eating garbage. You know you gain weight. But, like, yeah. I think that's what happens. Are you good with food on the road? Yeah, I'm pretty good.

I tend to, I don't eat fast food at all. I like stopped in college and just never went back. Oh, in college. So even when I was, yeah, so even when I was touring, I would, that's why the Phoebe's comment about the Hudson News really resonated because I will make, I've made so many meals out of gas station convenience stores. Yes. That's like my decadent things are like the snacky stuff.

Like it was very cruel that cheese it decided to come up with I think 700 flavors now. What? And there's like a wall of cheese it's in those glossy things that are in everywhere I go. That's what I eat by like the handful. Oh, wow. Okay. That's funny that that's what brings you to your knees is cheese it. Tom, I feel like you're the only person in America.

That is no one's number one. That's no one's number one. I know. I don't know what it is. But there is something about like when you say those connecting flights too, when you fly into a big spot and then catch that little death plane to Scha Boygan, it's like you you really feel like you survive something and you deserve a treat. Yes.

Well, it's funny because whenever you're. see in an airport that was like, the stands that are kind of like nuts and candy, like, that you scoop into little bags. I always think, well, isn't this a novelty? You deserve it because you don't see

these kinds of things very often, right? Except for they're at, like, 80% of airports. And so I'm always like, I mean, look, it's like that, those are the times where I'm like, I have craved chocolate malt balls, you know? I know, exactly.

When is the last time I've eaten? a child play mall ball in civilian like regular ground you know what i mean yeah just walking around with a handful of ball balls oh man where where did you grow up i grew up in in palm springs california i want to tell you yes one more thing about a wait wait wait guest experience that just popped into my head okay because just yesterday we saw the celebrating america inaugural celebration um on television um and it was hosted by yale old tom hank And one of my most glamorous pandemic experiences was that I did an episode of Way Way Don't Tell Me. And the guest was Tom Hanks.

And everyone wanted to talk to Tom because he had COVID, right? Right. And also because he's the best or whatever. Sure. National icon. Yeah, no, exactly. And he's exactly as like utterly delightful as you think he is. And he, so, you know, so for the show, for Wait, wait, we normally like log on

of the show about 30 minutes before the actual start time so they can work at all the technical kinks. Then the show starts. You record the show. I mean, the thing that the audiences get is like 54 minutes or something like that. We record, as you know, like over two hours. Yeah. And then they edit it down to those tight 54 minutes. And so it's like a pretty long experience at the end of the day. And Tom Hanks, he logged on at the 30 minute before showtime mark. And then he hung out for almost three hours. Wow. No way.

He, and so we were like, you know, we're doing these Zoom shows on Wait, wait, where we have no audience. Except for this time, we were doing it to an audience of one, and that one person was Tom Hanks. And did he chime in during that or he just listened? He would just see him laugh. Like, he was sort of juggling and like, you know, eating cheez-its or whatever. Oh, my God. And he would just like kind of laugh. And, like, he was just enjoying himself to an entire show.

And I'll tell you, as, you know, we've both done the show several times. No one does that. People, like, celebrities usually log on, log off. Or, like, even in the live shows, they come to the stage, they leave the stage. They do not enjoy the entire show. Yeah. And this was, you know, here he was, just, like, hanging out. There is nothing more telling than that.

I mean, when people, when people are great at something and it's never a mistake, It's not just the guy who just shows up two minutes before. Like I did this sketch show. Right. I have this show called Come to Papa, which is like this radio variety show kind of thing. And I was lucky enough to have my pal Matt Damon on some of them in New York and L.A. And all the comedians, as you know, when you tell comedians, you got to show up an hour or two before the show. So you can go through the sketches and stuff.

It's like pulling teeth. Right. They lose their minds. Absolutely. lose their minds. Like, what are they doing with the rest of their day? They're just laying on their couch longer. And then to be able to say that, well, Matt's coming two hours before the show.

And he's highlighted all of his lines. And he wants to rehearse, similar to the Tom Hanks thing. It's like, there's no mistake. These guys care and enjoy what they do. Yes. It's inspiring. I love a story about a person at their top of their game. game who still doesn't phone it in.

It is just inspiring. I mean, from, you know, like scientists down to actors. It's like, you know, the ones who are really at the truly at the top of their game, you know, are the ones that just don't phone it in, ever. I know. No, never. And they won't be at the top of the game long if they start to phone it in. It just doesn't happen.

Right. You know what I mean? Exactly. Like the, like it starts to trickle down. and like affect things and people sense it and then it's over. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then there's people like yourself and me who work probably harder than all of them combined.

And they still, and we're still not up there yet. First of all, Tom, I feel like you're being so kind to put me and you in the same sentence. Oh, come on, you work so hard. You are, you're one of those people. It's like, she's not going to wait around for someone to come and say, hey, will you be in this? She's like, no, I'm going to make my own film. I'm going to write my own books.

I know what you're about. Yeah. No, I do. I have that like, you know, immigrant work ethic. So that's definitely true. It was born into me via parents who were like prioritized nothing fun and only work since I was a baby. And so I was like, I'm four.

What am I supposed to be doing that's productive? And they're like, do the work. You know, and so that's just how I grew up, the only way of being I know. So funny. Were your parents first generation? No, they immigrated from Iran. Yeah. With my brother, my brother was born in Iran.

Okay. And then how old is he? How much older is he than you? He's 13 years older than me. So we kind of had different situations. He had like the trauma. of, you know, as an eight-year-old, leaving a country, a language in entire dozens and dozens and dozens of family members to come to a country where he knew no one and knew nothing and knew nothing of the language. And so he had that like just, I think, full body rattling experience.

Yeah. And then had to figure it out. And I'm really grateful, like, that I didn't have to do. that, you know? By the time I came around, several years later, they had figured a lot of shit out. But my brother really had to kind of like be the pioneer of the kid verse for our parents. Yeah, that is a whole different experience. Were they leaving when the regime's changed? Yeah, so they left, you know, they left in time before the regime change. And then set up shop in New Haven, Connecticut, where my dad was, you know, got to like redo parts of his

medical residency so that, you know, he could be a doctor in the United States. Right. Yeah. So, so that's kind of like where things started. And then the other weird thing is that like we moved to Virginia when I was two and we were like in the sticks of Virginia. So we were in what I like, and I do have to say about. in that time in the 80s, it was, it was bigoted. You know what I mean?

They weren't like super fond of Iranian Muslims. No. So my first memory, one of my earliest memories of my brother is coming home from, it must have been middle school with like, or maybe freshman year of high school or something, with like a black guy because he got into a fight because people were like talking smack about Iranians. Oh my God. You know, so it just wasn't the most welcoming for them.

as immigrants. No. So then we ended up in Palm Springs, California. Got you. So, I mean, that, that, I remember that as a kid. I mean, just from the hostage crisis on, like, it was, it was, God, I can only imagine being in his position because it was totally accepted. It was like World War II making jokes about the Japanese.

It was like people, I remember kids like that had like, like, like footballs with bomb Iran on it. Yes. You know what I mean? Like it was just, there was no, nobody was thinking twice about whether it was okay to say horrible things about this country or these people. Yes. And it's funny because like, so like I was a baby when all that was going down.

But, you know, I've, you know, in talking to my family and stuff like that and reading about it, like that, like that was definitely what it was like, just like that. It was just sort of totally socially acceptable to do that. And then by the time I was more like aware of what was going on in the world, it was still kind of okay. Yeah. So the only difference is that I grew up in in a really strange part of California where it's a resort town. So I was a townie. My high school was maybe like half, I mean, or even more Mexican.

So I sort of blended in with just like Mexicans. Yeah. So it just was different. I think having such a large minority group in town made a huge difference just to the way that I got to grow up versus how, you know, how my brother got to grow up. Right. Boy. Now, this is my most, the thing that I always am most interested in is what was going on in the kitchen during this time. Was your mom still a, was she cooking the original dishes?

Was it Iranian food or was it we're dusting that, we're leaving that behind? No, no, it was Iranian food. It's still just straight up Persian cuisine. So good. Like 90% of the time is what's coming out of that kitchen. And the interesting thing is too is like, you know, my parents, you know, like they're, they are worldly. They've tried stuff.

They've experienced things. But like if you, if I'm like, oh, let's, if they've, if they've, if they've, if they've, they're visiting in New York and I'm like, oh, let's go to a restaurant. They're like, cool, is there a Persian restaurant? And I'm like, do you people not get enough of your own stuff? I mean, come on. So it's so strange. Like, it doesn't, you know, you can take them to the finest French restaurant or whatever.

And they will still be like, where is the saccharine in this dish? You know, and I'm like, oh, my God. So, yeah. It's so great. And it's funny because, I mean, again, it's like, it's such a classic, you know, well-worn story. But like as a kid, I was just like, ugh, Persian food, gross, you know, give me hamburgers. Why? But, you know, of course now as an adult, I'm like, oh, I was really lucky to just have a vast other cuisine at home.

And then a completely vast other cuisine at school, which included mostly funnions. There was a period of like three years. Me too. Where I ate funnions nearly every day. I did the same thing. There's a third arm growing out of my back, Tom, because my body is made from funnions and it had a chemical reaction that created extra limbs. But yes, that was a big part of my childhood.

Oh, some of my favorite moments were just sitting on a curb with my friends after we got enough money to go to the local little market and just sit there and eat funnions. That was our whole day. And I bring that up with my wife and she's like, funny, what of all the memories you can have? Why is that one? I'm like, you don't get it. I don't know what it is. It's like, because now I can't, I mean, I haven't had a funnion in years.

I don't know if they hold up. You know what I mean? It's sort of like watching, I don't know, like a John Hughes movie to see if like the sexism is okay with you now or whatever. Right. Like, I don't know if the funnions hold up. But at the time, it wasn't, it was an event. You know, like as a 10-year-old, a funyon could be a full calendar day. Oh, the best.

Just the best. I mean, funnions and any kind of like colored soda, like an orange or a mountain dew, anything that had a bright neon color to it. Again, looking back at it, how did I eat that stuff? I know. So great. Yeah, sodas. And then just weird powdery things, like nerds or the thing that you dip into another thing that's powder.

Lickamade. Lickamed. Oh, is that what that was called? Yeah, with that stick and then you'd get your spit on it and then put it in the sugar. And it would stick. It'd be delectable, delectable. Oh, man. And meanwhile, your mom is in the kitchen creating these Persian dishes that.

that probably are world-class level. I mean, from scratch. From scratch. She's using, like, organic lamb. You know what I mean? And I'm just like, no, thank you. I would like some funions with a side order of nerds, please. It's so sad.

So disgusting. Did you learn to cook from her? I didn't learn a little, but I think one of the things that the pandemic has taught me is that my role, like, as a citizen, and in this economy is to go to restaurants. That's one of the things. Supporting local businesses.

Yes, I just, that's one of the things I'm really good at it. I like, I know how to spread my money around. Like, I know how long to call before going, walking over to the restaurant and picking it up. Like, I really got all of that down to an art and I'm so, you know, and some people have, can cook. And then other people, you know, can eat out really well. in that ladder camp and then no judgment. If your thing is cooking, like no judgment. But yeah, my thing is eating out. I do obviously do some cooking, but it all, I just, I'm just not that good. So that's the truth. Yeah. Yeah. You weren't paying attention to what

your mom was doing. No. And if I had just paid it, there's a few things I wish I'd paid attention to growing up. One is like, what was my mom doing? And then two, what was my dad doing? every time something happened with the sink and he had to fix it. What was that about? Why were his legs always sticking out from underneath? What was the thing he was looking at? What were those tools he was using? What was the story there?

I have so many questions. Is there a Persian? Do you still seek out Persian dishes now? Like is there something from your childhood that is kind of like a comfort food? Yeah, there's a dish called Fessonjohn, and it's a pomegranate walnut chicken, braised chicken. And it's no, you know, I think you and I, if we sat around, we'd probably never think to mix pomegranate molasses with ground walnuts. You know what I mean? No, yes.

I know. It's really true. And it's sad because it's one of the best combinations on the planet. But very few people would just think to do that. But the Iranians did. And they just came up with one of the most amazing world-class dishes. And so that's something that I always seek out. Yeah.

Does your husband like Persian food? Yeah. Like he loves, I'm really, I feel like I'm lucky on the husband front. He loves my parents in general. Oh. Yeah, he's just like their biggest fan, like 100% on board. Like, should we go see the in-laws? Yes, you know what I mean?

Like, I don't know. Too many husbands that do that. That's great. Yeah. Well, that also speaks well of your parents, though. That means you've got some people who are cool to hang with. Yeah, you know, it's not, it's like they're so, like, they just are, they do that, like, sacrificial lamb immigrant parent thing where they just do everything. for you, you know, anything they can, you know. Yeah, yeah.

And, you know, and also, like, you know, for my mom, cooking is her love language. So I feel like visiting my parents is, like, it's relaxing because my mom just does a bunch of cooking and together we watch TV. It's just, like, pretty relaxing. Yeah, just kind of hang. That's the way it should be. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Oh, that food is so good. I mean, I had a friend. You have access in Los Angeles to a lot of good places. Yeah, yeah. There's a, there's really good Lebanese, like a quarter mile from my house, which, oh, my God. I could just, I could just eat there forever. And just the breads that come out of there with the, what is it?

Zatar. Zatar, yeah. How do you pronounce it? What is your food that, like, you would go to a desert island? and die with that food? It would be Italian food. Italian, okay, yeah. Yeah, I grew up Italian in New Jersey.

That makes sense. Yeah, so, and it's similar. Like when you were saying, you know, your parents going out and looking for Persian food at restaurants, I mean, I, that's mainly what I cook. And then I go out and I'm like, so where's the Italian? Right. But, but Middle Eastern food is just, oh, man, it's so. And what's interesting about it, it's kind of like the thing that I am a little ignorant of in Asian cuisine. Like you would be able to tell the subtle differences between the different between Iranian food or Lebanese.

Like all that's like to me I'm always just kind of caught up like, oh yeah, I recognize these certain things. But I don't have like the real the real language of why each one is different. Yeah. I mean, I think like there is definitely some like pan-arical. foods, you know, that are like you see in multiple Arab countries or whatever. As I say this, people are

furiously like crafting tweets at me. But I think, and then there's like, you'll see a bunch of similarities between Afghan cuisine and Persian cuisine. You know what I mean? You'll see some crossovers with Turkish stuff, you know? So there's, you know, those areas, look, the Arabs came, invaded Iran,

had sex with a bunch of people. a bunch of havesies, you know what I mean? So it's like, it's natural that we all sort of, you know, developed stuffed grape leaves at the same rate. It left some spices around. Yeah, like it makes sense that that happened. Is it, um, here's a question that I had on my mind. Yeah.

Especially as we're going through, uh, this is more of a political question. as we're going through this craziness with seeing people from within our country being this great threat, do you feel like the, is there a sense that the pressures off Muslims right now? Like for a while, like for a while, it was like, okay, we're the ones and they're going to, the moment that was super funny for me was the when, I don't know if super funny is the right word for any of this, but when people from the insurrection found themselves on no-fly lists, I was like, hey, welcome to where Muslims be at on no-fly list. And if you find it frustrating

because you were peaceful, that's, you know, where a lot of my brothers and sisters are, but if you actively were engaged in the insurrection, then it makes a lot of sense for you to be on a no-fly list. Anyways, welcome to Muslims. And it was just so funny. It just was funny to me that that was going down. Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the things that was, like,

really emotional for me about the inauguration day is one of the first, like, 15 executive orders that Joseph Robinette Biden signed was one to lift the Muslim ban. And the Muslim ban, it's, like, funny because it was, you know, it's one of his earliest hits in the administration. So it's like we often forget about the early tracks. Yeah. But, you know, it dragged on for a while in the courts and then he finally, like, got it to stick.

Yeah. And it meant for me personally that if someone, like let's say something happened to my parents, blah, blah, blah, someone from Iran had to come visit. They would not have been able to come visit. And it was very personal. Like I had a cousin who was trying to come and she couldn't get a visa. And her, you know, there was a whole family reason she was coming.

And so she didn't come. You know, and so I think that particular to see those, that kind of thing lifted in a matter of moments. I mean, he just signed his name to a document and it was over. And it's just done. Yeah. And I was, I just felt like such relief. really, really felt such relief from that. Yeah.

And I feel like, you know, undocumented immigrants and all these kind of like your classic villains of the last four years, you know, again, like he's introducing a plan to, you know, for undocumented immigrants to find a pathway to citizenship. And all the, you know, and he called off the ISIS from rounding people up, all that stuff. Like it happened on the first day.

And it just, it is, it gives me such relief. And I think it rightly points out that the, maybe guys, the villains have, you know, are maybe the ones who wanted to take down democracy. Yeah. Or at the very least, it's, and I think this is what the, that group was doing, that insurrection, it really shows you that, I mean, it shows, doesn't show you. shows white people that the way to approach threats in the world isn't this archaic. We're in an iPhone world now and we're using this old rotary system of trying.

You don't just say, okay, there was a Muslim guy. So it's all Muslims. Because now you're at a point where you're like, okay, so it was a white Christian guy. Well, you're not going to say we're banning them. So what is the intelligent way to think about? threat. Yeah. It's, it can't go, this way doesn't work.

It's just dumb. It just doesn't really help us or protect us ultimately. Is it in, and like, yeah, like, it's okay for us to be nuanced and to recognize the, the people come on a spectrum and all of that stuff. Like, and maybe, maybe this shift is like helping us recognize that. Yeah, I think that's an excellent point. Yeah. Is it still, you know, I have the advantage or the lack, the advantage and lack of viewpoint of growing up as a white guy in New Jersey, Catholic, you know, part of the home team in a way. And so like when you, and the inauguration was so great and inspiring and it had so many, and the, every one of these appointing, it's just it shows where,

we have been headed for such a long time and there's so much diversity in all aspects of it. Is there still a little bit of a bump, though, even in that kind of inclusive ceremony where the Christianity still is like the, like when they go into that or they start talking about the, like, is that still like a, like the prayer at the end of the. Yeah. Is it a little bit of a speed bump or is it acceptable because of everything else that's going on? Does it still make it feel like the other as a Muslim-Rae, right, right, right. You know, that's a very thoughtful question, Tom. I think that it, for me, it doesn't matter that much. Like, it's, you know, when people talk about Christianity being rooted in the tradition of America, they're not wrong, right?

Like, a bunch of Christians came from Europe and did the thing. You know, of course it overhauled. looks, you know, what the indigenous population had to do with the building of America. It overlooks what slave populations had to do with the building of America. It overlooks the fact that we introduced Christianity to both of those populations in a way that was maybe unwelcome. So anyways, obviously, but I think Christianity is a big part of the founding of this nation. In ways that I think it's okay to recognize that historically. Yeah.

I do, you know, I don't think we need prayers and stuff like that, like, involved in a lot of these things, but I don't mind them. I honestly don't mind them. I don't mind the idea of putting my hand on a Bible. Like, that's cool. It just means you're not, it's just like, it just has come to me and you're not going to lie. Like, if you put your, you're taking a note, you know, it's, I'm fine with that. Like, it could have easily been you put your hand on a bar of chocolate.

Like, it just sort of grew into, we do this thing on a Bible. Or like, you know, I, and I, I'm okay with recognizing the history of the United States. I'm also okay recognizing that, like, there were no Iranians here when the nation was founded. I mean, there was probably one or two. But they really didn't have very much to do with the founding. Yeah, yeah. These things are okay. It's okay to look at the country as this, like, living, breathing, changing thing.

And that there are some traditions that have carried forth. And those traditions may morph and evolve too. Sure. I think I'm just not as sensitive about stuff like that. I mean, I aggressively say, Merry Christmas to people. Like, I don't, it's fine with me.

Christmas is a thing that happens every year. It's fun. There's, you know, pumpkin lattes. I'm on board. Right. I don't care. It's cool. I give my friends gifts.

Like, it's fun. So I think that the, the notion that there's, like, you know, it's funny because that whole, like, anti-Christmas or whatever movement was never real. Like, I don't think that there were a bunch of, you know, Jews and Muslims, like, sitting around being angry about the use of the term Merry Christmas. It was really kind of invented, I think, by the right? It's like, oh, those people don't want us to say Merry Christmas.

Well, what are we going to say it now? And I'm like, huh? Whoever said that? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Me and the other 20 people over here don't really care. Like we're one percent of the popular, like by conservative assets, it's one to three percent

of the population. Yeah. So, our Muslim. So like we already figured out how to live, you know? We can deal with your Christmas tree. Yeah, that's not a problem. I was talking with Maz Jabrani the other day. Oh, Maas.

I love Mars. He's such a great guy. Yeah. And he was telling me how his mom was a Trump supporter. And it was kind of that, kind of almost like the Cuban thing where it was, that generation saw him being hard on these new people in the regime. And it comes from ignorance, I guess. But I was kind of like, wait, really? Anybody?

Is there any Iranian that is it? But yeah, of course. I mean, it is a complicated, from the outside, a complicated country to get a hold of. Like you see young people like during the Green Revolution, like it seems like hopeful. Then you've got all it's, I don't know where we're, what we're supposed to think. Right. And it's funny because I think it's sort of like not unlike America, right? Like the young people who were doing the Green Revolution were, you know, those people are not the type of.

people to be Trump supporters. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. And then there's people who are, like, scared of too much change. Like, they basically mirror what we have in the United States, right? Sure. We've got moderates who are like, yeah, I can get behind some incremental change. That's fine.

You know, I'm not opposed to raising the minimum wage just a little bit. All right. It's fine. And then there's people that are like, overhaul it every, overhaul everything, burn it all down, you know, on both sides of the ideological extremes. And so I think that's what you, you know, you see in a country like Iran, that it's just there's a vast swath, I would say, you know, it's just about who can tip the scales. Right, right.

And I think, you know, just like having been to Iran and being uncomfortable with the, let's just say lack of civil liberties. As a lady. As a lady, I found it a mildly uncomfortable. I'm into, you know, like a regime change. Change, yeah, yeah. Not that it matters. I don't live, neither matters what I think, I don't live there.

But whatever they want to do, I understand. And it's my understanding that a bunch of them want regime changed, like a whole, a whole serious bunch. Right. Right. Yeah. Do you have a – would you be able to guess at a percentage? The fun thing about, like, being in a sort of authoritarian regime is, like, communication flow is not very easy. Really? Polling is not very accurate.

Yeah, you thought our polling was shitty. Oh, they would have had – yeah, they would have had Susan Collins losing by even more points. But, no, I mean, honestly, it's so hard to say, but I would say anecdotally, it's a majority of people, you know. Yeah. It's just like the, it's a matter of like who controls the military, like the guns, who controls the guns. Right. Those people don't want regime change. So that becomes the, you know, you saw hundreds of thousands of people out protesting during the Green Revolution.

Yeah. It was like, oh, my God, that was like 2009. And my spotful fact about the Green Revolution, my little weird theory is that the person who sort of ended it or like ended international attention on the Green Revolution was Michael Jackson because he died. He died during the kind of peak of the protest and suddenly all of the attention globally went to the death of Michael Jackson. Wow, that is crazy. I mean, again, like historians, you tell me what happened. But it was suddenly like CNN had it on every day. You know, we were seeing all the languages.

The international community was in arrears. And then suddenly, you know, I feel like, again, I feel like MJ died. And then it was just like people doing the moonwalk in various capitals of the world. I heard of this crazy theory. I don't know if you've heard this. I heard it from my kids last night, literally last night. that he's still alive and that there's all of this video footage that they're like, yeah, of him like coming out of the black car and like running into another thing and that he faked his death.

And the young people, this is 15, 18 year old kids are convinced. It's like the, it's like the Jim Morrison with the doors. Wait a second. Yeah. That's hilarious. I didn't realize that there was a theory like that going around. They're like, go online and check it out. and there is hard evidence that this is true.

I'm like, Lena, I mean, this is a smart college freshman. She's like, it's no joke. Look it up. That's so funny. You know what, though? I would say, I'm more into a conspiracy theory like that than like QAnon. Oh, God, yes. I'm cool with people being like, no, he's still a lot, you know.

Like, that's okay. All right, that's fun, whatever. Yeah, I'll talk about Elvis all day long. Yeah, great, great, totally. All right. Well, one last question before we go. Or actually two. Let me get two in.

How old's your daughter? She's two. She's two. Will she grow up knowing that Persian food is a part of her life and part of her heritage? Yeah. She will. And, you know, I think I'm doing a really good job of just integrating my parents into her life as much as possible, living on opposite coasts. And also, I speak to her only in Farsi.

So she speaks Farsi. So that's, you know, I think a really, really, really big connection to a culture of the language. You know, so maybe she won't see her mom cooking the food very much, but she will definitely hear me talking about it and then she'll in Farsi and understanding it. Oh, that's great. That's great. Okay. And then my last question, which is, I know, a little controversial, and I don't mean who I know I'm probably behind, and this has probably been resolved and I'm not really sure.

Okay, I'm nervous. Your husband's mustache. He is not Persian, but he seems to have grown a Persian mustache on his lip. And I know you had some comments on social media. You weren't really all in on it. What's the, where is it at at this point? We actually are about to share part three of the three-part saga. which is my husband's mustache.

And the breaking news. Your voice is changing, by the way. Your voice is quivering. There's sadness and fear. It's been a difficult time in our family, Tom. I've had to look at a thing growing above his lip for, I don't know. It's been 10 days, maybe two weeks now. It's been a tough one.

And he did shave it. Okay. Though he shaved it based on a compromise. And the compromise was a half stash. So he has half of his face with a mustache. Well, thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to have your support.

Thank you, Negeen. This was so great. It's always great to see you. I can't wait to see you in person soon. Thank you so much, Tom. This was so fun. You're the best. You are.

I'll see you soon. And now it's time for a quick bite. Let's give a call to our good friend, Ryan Hamilton. Ryan, how's it going? Not too bad. How are you, sir? I'm doing all right. I haven't spoken to you in a while. It has been a long time, I know. I know.

Are you doing well? Are you in New York? I'm okay. Yeah, I'm back in Idaho now. Are we on the podcast yet? Yeah. Oh, we are? Okay. Yes. I'm back. Yes, I had some family stuff going on, so I am back in Idaho. Okay. Oh, good. Yeah, I mean... You had to run... What's that?

You had to flee the city. Yeah. I hope you flew. I did fly. Oh, good. It was the first time I'd flown since March. Wow. Yeah, it was a little wild.

Yeah. The first flight is definitely like, oh, right. I remember this kind of. It was a lot more. fun last time. I forgot. I was like, do I have TSA or clear or what's the difference or like, I can't remember how to do this? I know. Go in the lounge? I used to go in. Can I go in? My first flight, I was like, what's different? Oh, I used to have earphones. I used to listen to music through my noise-canceling headphones. Yeah It was wild

I just Yeah I just sat there with my arms folded For like Four and a half hours God Well I'm glad everything Worked out Are you going to stay there for a bit

Yeah I have no reason to Go anywhere So I guess I'll hang out here for a while Yeah Why not Yeah why not Well it's good It's funny that you're actually there

now because I literally was going around the house and I was like I have to do a quick bite for the podcast and I opened up a bag of potatoes and I was like all right I need some answers on these

potatoes. Who am I going to call that's going to answer these potato questions? I'm like I'm always a potato authority for the Papa family it feels like I'm a project for Cynthia on Idaho. I'm now the potato guy for Mr. Papa.

I'm very happy and honored to be the potato expert. The Idaho expert for the Papa family. Well, you grew up in Idaho. You worked on, what would you call, there was a time when, as kids, that you would actually get off from school and work farms. We must have talked about this before

because, yeah, we would get out for spud harvest two weeks every year in October. Spud harvest. So the whole school, it's time to harvest the spuds. Yeah. The teachers were cool with everybody just leaving school. Yeah, I mean, it was a vacation for the teachers, I guess, mostly. But, you know, most of the kids were like, we have to, we live on the farm, so we're not coming, whether or not there's school.

So there's no school. And then those of us who didn't grow up on farms like me go, well, I guess I'm going to get a job. So we would get a job so we could make our spud money is what we call it. And you could make some real good money for a high school kid in a couple of weeks. And it was brutal. But you worked from, you know, all day long, like 12, 15 hour days. And covered in dirt when you came home. But yeah, the first job, the base level gruntj,

job is sorting on the sorting table and you just stand there all day and watch potatoes and dirt clots and binds and rotten potatoes go by and you just take out everything that's not a good potato. Oh, yeah. Clear it all out. Yeah, you just sit there. They come out of a truck and then they come up through a stinger. I used to run the stinger. I eventually got promoted to that where I was back in the trucks and then moderate the flow of the potatoes out of the trucks up onto the table.

And then there would be, you know, five or six people there just sorting out the dirt clouds and stuff. And then it goes from the table onto a, into a piler. And then someone runs the piler inside the cellar. And they just just a mountain of potatoes in this potato cellar. Right.

Yeah. And yeah, I do that every year. How did they how do they get the potatoes out of the ground? They use a combine and it comes by and it's, well, it's a digger, I guess. We call it a digger, but like this is part of the job that I never got to. You know, you have to be able to either drive the truck next to the digger, and then there's a combine that comes by and picks them up and puts them into the truck.

So you've got to drive a truck next to this combine and then dumps them in. Sounds like that's where the accidents happen. That's always like, yeah, you'd always be in the cellar and they'd go, the digger broke down and, you know, we'd be out there. I'd watch these guys fixing this equipment in the dirt being like, I can't do that. I can get you the tool, you know. I'm running around, you know. I'll knock this dirt off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But here's where I was. Here's where I was last night. And it was a familiar position that I've been in countless times before my life. And I'm very excited to finally get the answer. I open up. I'm going to make potatoes for the family.

I see in the pantry, there's a bag that I've bought. I don't remember when. So I open it up. And the potato does not have big vines growing off of it, but it has the beginnings of the little flower notes just starting to come out. So we're not full scary mode. Right. We're just starting these little dime size, maybe a little smaller even florets that are starting to come out of the potato.

Is that a potato? And they knock off pretty easy. Is that an edible potato? I've eaten those. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think there's no problem there. Yeah, you just got to cut them off. That sounds kind of, like I said, I'm not an expert on the...

Let me ask my sister, hey, when they grow the little binds on the potatoes, you just cut those off, right, and eat them? Yeah, just cut them off and eat them. You cut them off and eat them. It's okay. Yeah, yeah, that's what I've always done. I mean, you know, or you could just throw it in the ground and grow another potato.

Get some of that spud money. Yeah, some of that spud money. Sitting out there waiting for you. I'm not doing shows right now. No shows. My friend Bent Washburn, do you know him, comedian Bent Washers, is very funny. We would go on the road. I told him that story.

He goes, he said, your street name should be Spud Money. That's your street name. So when you grow up surrounded by potatoes, I wish I'd got in the same set last night because I threw the whole bag out. Oh, you did? Yeah, through the whole bag out. You didn't even bury it in the archers? No, nothing.

Wasted spud money. There's someone going through my recycling right now living off my stud money. Yeah, I mean, it also depends on what you're going to do with the potatoes. Because if you want a nice baked potato, you probably don't want that. But you can cut it off and make mashed potatoes. or surprise or something like that. Right. Yeah.

What is your favorite cooked potato? And do you, are you, after growing up there, are you just sick of potatoes? Because it seems like the people that I've met from Idaho still are all in on potatoes. Yeah. I, you know, it's not like we just eat them every meal. I mean, you know, we have other food here. So, and we're sitting down with a plate with a single potato and a knife and pork. You know, I guess there are periods of time when you get sick at potatoes because after the potato harvest, you can go along the fields and pick at the ends of the rows.

There's always, like, they always miss some. So you can go back and just get some potatoes. And so that time of year, there's always lots of potatoes to go around. But other than that, no, I don't, we don't get, I don't eat them so much that I'm sick of them. I still like them. And the best way, I don't know. I like scallop potatoes are pretty good. That's a real treat.

And who doesn't love scallop potato? I don't even know how to cook a scallop potato. It's like fried with like cheese and, yeah, I've never actually made them. My mom makes good scallop potatoes. But they're cutting the thin slices, you know. Oh, I think I've made those before. Yeah. Yeah.

You slice them in like kind of, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I made that at Easter last year. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. Well, this is good. You could have, too bad I didn't get you yesterday. You could have saved the whole bag.

Well, now you know, for the future. You can hold on to those. I mean, but, you know, it gets a little scary after a while. Once they get it going, you don't have that much time. But, yeah, yeah. One time I came to the kitchen and there was actual vine coming out of the drawer where the potatoes were. I was like, this thing is actually

hailing a cat at this point. Yeah. All right. You can't beat them. All right. Well, thanks for taking my call. It was nice to check up on you.

You do. Glad everything worked out. I'll give you a call next week. We'll talk more about what other foods you're eating. That'd be great. It's always nice to hear from you. All right, Ryan. All right, Tom.

You too. Bye. All right. That's it. That's our big show. Thank you to Ryan Hamilton. Thank you for answering my potato questions. If only I'd call them one day earlier, I could have saved all those potatoes. And thank you again to Nagin Fassad. Make sure you listen to her podcast, Fake the Nation. She's amazing and listen for both of us on Wait, Wait. Don't tell me. Thank you again for listening. And as always, communicate with us. Show us the breads that you're making. It's a back. and forth conversation, subscribe, give us lots of love. We give you love back. We'll continue again next week.