Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 55 - Todd Barry

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

This week we break bread with the smoothest comedy cat of all, Todd Barry, and grab a quick bite with coffee crazy Kira Soltanovich.  This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma Dot Com. Open your free account at creditkarma.com/win money and start winning Instant Karma.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus It's time for Breaking Red with Papa Hey! Don't you know Hey, it's how we go. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey.

Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you for joining me at the table. Once again, we have an amazing show for you. Very excited. It's been such a great week. I've got a lot to talk about, and I'm going to introduce you, or reintroduce you or just spend some time with the legendary comedian Todd Barry,

who's just so damn funny. I just love him so much. And he was at the Comedy Cellar this week when I got to spend some time in New York City. I'm broadcasting right now from North Carolina. And he had given me some food recommendations. And he was talking about how much he loves our podcast. So we're going to spend some time with him. And then we're going to do a quick bite with my good friend Kira Soltonovich.

And by calling Kira, she will be the most, the guest with the most appearances on Breaking Bread because she's been on twice. Everybody loves her. I love her more than you do. And we're going to give her a call. And that's going to be three times that Kira will be. I just have to check in with her because we work on the road all the time. I'm back on the road and I want to know where she is and what she's doing. And I just adore her and I miss her.

So we're going to do a quick bite with Kira Soltanovitch as well. So as I said, I took a jet plane and I went to New York City from the last time I spoke to you. And man, oh man. First of all, I land and it is just popping off the day. day that I got there was the day that they came out, the CDC came out and said that mask thing that you're all doing, you don't have to do anymore. I know there's different rules in different places and there's different things. You still to wear it on the plane, of course, but there was a joy in New York City that was palpable. You could just see everybody

running around. The weather was perfect, which is just always an insanely, insanely good time when you're in New York at springtime. And everybody is just shedding their winter clothes. And it's just all these beautiful people on the streets. And there was a freedom and a hopefulness because, look, as we're making our way and there's starting to open things up, it's really the mask is like the last remnant, right? It's the last thing that's hanging over. you and you still got to do it in some places, but as they're making the progress and people are just ripping them off,

I really feel like the only reason a lot of the places, the little coffee shops and the little spots that are keeping the mask rules, I think it's just because they have the signs made. They had to make signs saying mask up, social distance, they put those little stickers on the ground,

and we have to all follow the rules, and they spent a lot of money and a lot of time, telling their employees what to do, getting the signs, getting the decals, putting them on the windows. And now it's all freed up. And they're like, oh, we just made the signs. We spent all this money.

Let's just let people wear masks when they come in. But there was a joy. And I'm sure you're feeling in, depending where you are in the country, there's probably I'm talking to some people who haven't worn masks in a long time. But for the spots where I've been, it's been pretty strict.

And now that everybody's, starting to come out. It was, it was really fun. And being in New York, really important to have your mask off, because I ate my face off. I went crazy. I went to Ildoro, which is this great little sandwich shop. I found this great new bread baker who actually is starting to provide the bread for Ildoro. Such a great, such a great little spot. I love that place so much. I get this Michelangelo sandwich, which is prosciutto and hot peppers. Oh, my God, it just brings you to your knees. And it's definitely not something you should be eating in the middle of the day. You shouldn't be eating a prosciutto and cheese and hot pepper sandwich that's bigger than your head in the middle of the day.

The bread. Oh, the bread is so good. And the bakery I found, it's in Soho, right around the corner, crispy heaven bakery, just opened, little shop, doing it the right way. I walked in there. I got a baguette. They just had everything done the right way. They had sourdough. They had the artisanal breads. And just by this weird little bread thing, I'm in there. And then a guy I recognize who had been talking to the guy at Ildoro was in there as well, syncing them up. I know this doesn't mean that much to you. But for me, someone who loves bread and keeps their eye out to like see that two of your favorite places, one of your favorite places, is now hooking up with a new place. Oh, boy, did I get excited? I call it bread karma. It was definitely

bread karma. I went there. I met up with Mateo Lane. He made me, you know, we've talked about his Carbonara. I had to do this big show. I was doing coming to Papa at the village underground. It was very exciting. We only had a limited amount of time and Mateo comes running in. We can do it right now and ran to his apartment that is right around the corner from the village underground, ran up the stairs, four flights to his place. He's got Eldente pasta. He's got the Carbonara,

the pecorino and the cheese, that is cheese, with the egg yolk and the guanchale already fried up and crispy. And he whipped together Carbonara in 10 seconds. I ate it like a madman standing up. and then had to run back downstairs right onto the stage and start the show. And Mateo was on the show. He was hilarious. Dave Hill was on the show. Hilarious. Morgan James. Amazing. Her husband, Doug. Doug Womble on guitar.

Tremendous. But I really needed a nap. I drank, I think, six bottles of water during the show because I was so filled with salty guanchali and pecorino cheese. dumb, dumb thing to eat. But when you're in New York, same night, that shows over. I go to jeans, an Italian restaurant with Dave Hill. It's one of our favorite places.

You just have this amazing martini. We're sitting outside. The show is over. It's a beautiful New York night. We've got martinis coming out. We've got Kianti. We've got chicken parm. We've got chicken.

This might turn. off, but Dave loves this chicken liver appetizer, this patte with these crunchy little pieces of bread. Just, I couldn't stop eating. I tried to work out. I did one thing of yoga on my floor in the hotel, and I just fell over and fell asleep. But that's what New York is, and it was so great because I've gone through there in September. there wasn't that joy. And it's great.

It's amazing, but it's also going to make me gain 200 pounds, especially when you're visiting. You just roll in. It's just like everything is just there. Oh, so great. And now I'm in North Carolina where I was like, should I try and find a biscuit? It's been nothing but biscuits. Everywhere I turn, there's a biscuit.

There's a biscuit on my desk right now. I literally went to go get coffee. And I said, can I have this little thing? And they're like, yeah, sure. It comes with a biscuit. Oh, I just dropped it. It comes with a biscuit. There's biscuits everywhere down here.

So wonderful. So wonderful being in a new, in a city. I haven't been in a long time. That part, man, I really missed that. Just seeing other people. Oh, so great. All right. Enough of my yapping.

Get out there. It's springtime. Enjoy your life. It's all opening. It's all starting up. Go eat some. stuff. And then I went for a run today. I got back on track and sweated it all out. Why? Is it so I can look great? No. Is it so I can feel great? No. It's so I can go out and eat more.

And Todd Barry has a restaurant recommendation, and you'll find out why, when we talk to him, why I'm taking it very seriously. He is not, he's not someone that just stuffs his face mindlessly. So enjoy this now. Todd Barry, great, great comedian. Check him out everywhere. I mean, everybody knows Todd, but if you don't, he's got great books. He's got great specials. He's on Netflix.

He's got a great, he's go on YouTube. Just go down the wormhole and find all things, Todd Barry. And when we come back, we'll grab a quick bite with Kira Soltonovich. Thanks for doing this, Todd. Thanks for having me. This is so exciting. We had a wonderful couple of days together. with our rendezvous in New York City before I got on the road and went to North Carolina

where I am right now. I know. And I told you where to eat there. I know. And we discussed a lot about going back on the road and how to eat and how to find good coffee and all the rest of it. And so I'm just going to start off with a conundrum because I always ask you for advice. Okay. You recommended a place I'm in Raleigh. And you might get a place called. pools. Yeah. But they're only open, they open at four, which is a tricky time for a comedian who has shows that starts at 730. Because that's pretty hearty food. So you don't, I don't know if you want all that in you. Right. But then again, maybe you'll, is this the conundrum or did I get this is the conundrum? You went right to it. You know exactly what, uh, what I'm, what I'm wrestling with.

Pre-show eating is always because sometimes I do these venues where they have, we'll order you food. Like, and I'll go, yeah, give me chicken pad tie. And then I'm like, I'll just eat half of it. It's like, you'll not need half of it. And then, but usually when I'm on stage, I forget whether I'm full or hungry. So there's that. But you also don't want to be like overly full of her. Yeah.

I would say four o'clock is kind of shows an eight o'clock show. 7.30 show. So it's four o'clock. And it's, um, it's about 15 minutes away. I mean, do you usually eat before you go on stage? Not normally. But I don't know if that's a superstition or if that is a real physical, like, a real physical, like, is it going to mess up the show kind of a thing? Yeah, I mean, I don't know how it would mess up unless it went, you know, not to get graphic if you suddenly had to go to the bathroom because you ate so much.

I know, which has never happened in my entire career. Yeah, me neither. I don't know, man. I think the question is, would you enjoy your food or would you be too, like, what am I doing right now? Well, the problem is also 4 o'clock, so they open it 4, you get there, and then you're in a puzzle of do I go back to the room, get ready for the show and go to the show? Or am I just rolling from a restaurant to the show? when I leave it four, am I just out for the night? That seems.

Yeah. It depends on how, I mean, you're pretty autopilot with your performance, right? You're locked in. I didn't mean to say autopilot. I sounded insult. You sleepwalk through it, right? No, I mean, you got it pretty memorized and tight, right? What you're going to do?

Well, but no. I mean, the reason I'm out here now is because we're free and I'm just, I'm working on a whole bunch of stuff. I don't know. I mean, I just think, you know what, maybe take a chance. Yeah. I mean, look at their menu and see if they're, right. See what sounds like a good pre-show.

Yeah. When we were in the city, we were talking, we were sitting outside the comedy seller, which is in their big outdoor French bistro seating. Yeah. Which is, it's trying to replicate that. I mean, that's not why they were doing it. They were doing it because you needed outdoor seating. but it has this kind of fairy lights and it has this ambiance like this could be really nice

if it wasn't filled with 700 kids from the village. Yeah, and there's sirens and then there's those guys with the really cool motorcycles that they make so loud that they're waking up everyone around them and they know that, but they don't care. I don't understand those people at all. I got out of the show here in North Carolina last night and this car just goes by and as soon as he's like passing the crowd, milling around outside, wah, wah, wow, wow, wow, wow.

And it's like, you know everybody hates you. Don't you realize not one person is going, wow, that guy's cool. It's infuriating. And also like in New York, you might be waking up like an old lady who you're driving. I mean, I can handle it because I'm a young, young man. But like there might be an old lady taking a nap, five flights above. Yeah. I want to be able to sleep for a baby.

I know, or a baby or family. Oh, what morons. Well, we were sitting out there and you were showing me that your map technique of finding good coffee. Oh, yeah, yeah. In your hotel. Do you want me to elaborate or do you want? Sure. Or were you about to talk?

Yeah, no, go ahead. Well, what you do is this is a good way to choose a hotel or see if you got a good hotel is you just take the address of the hotel and you plug it into Yelp and put in coffee. and if you're like within, you know, 0.8 miles of a coffee shop that looks good, then you're probably okay. Ideally, you wanted to be like 0.2 miles. I know. That point three. Then you're in the heart of it.

Then you're really comfortable. If anything close to a mile, now you're working out. Right. Then you're like, I might be on a highway for a little bit here. There were two coffee places near me this morning when I woke up. And I was a little confused. have my phone with me because I actually went for a run. Oh my God. Yeah, I exercised. And so I was kind of out there without guidance. And I checked the map and I was like, okay, there's coffee that way.

And I think there's something up that way. So I started with the one on the right. And it looked a little sketch. It looked a little bit like a like a gas station food mark kind of a set. Right, right. But then they had this nook, this deceptive coffee section of it with the chalkboard and all the all the right things you're supposed to have in a nice coffee shop. I was like, I'm not sure. And I said, I'm the only one in there. And I said to the guy, uh, how's your coffee? Really? You were that guy, huh? Yeah. I was like, so how's your coffee? And, uh, by not like with sincerity, a little joky. Like a little right. Yeah. So aggressively trying to find out whether. Exactly. Which I'm very good at. And he said, uh, hot and black.

I was like, all right. I'm in the wrong place. Yeah, you need like the sort of, you need, I always think a good review of a coffee shop is where if they say that, and I think I talked about this in my book, where if they say that if you see one review where someone says the staff was rude, that's a good coffee cup. Because first of all, they're lying. If they're never rude, they're just like, the guy doesn't, if you're used to spending 75 cents for coffee, then you're going to think the $5 coffee. Right. Or maybe they're nice to me because they lose their minds when I want. because they can't believe it. Oh my God, it's a celebrity.

I can't believe I just said that. Take that back or delete that. But yeah, I mean, you want like, I think what you, I don't know what you want, but I think you don't want, you don't want a place where they also serve like ruffles or something, you know? Like, there's a display of laid potato chips. That's exactly what it was. And I was like, but maybe there's like a young person here who's trying.

It was there's like, like I said, it just looked coffee shopish. and he's like and then as he's after the hot and black comment then he made some slightly offensive Jewish jokes and I oh really? Oh yeah. You should have just told me that at the beginning

and I'd say don't go to that coffee. I know. So I had already started the order. So I got the coffee and I was, don't be a snob, Tom. Try it. No taste. It was just hot and it was just black

and I threw it away. And then I went the other direction. And that was all the beautiful people. It was so nice. I feel like if you're passionate about your coffee, you're probably not going to describe it that way and then make racist jokes. Right, exactly. It's like his son had started it and then left because his dad was too racist.

And he was left with it. I'll give it a shot. Oh, man. Hot and black. Where are you leaning towards as far as this dinner? You're not there on a Sunday. Are you like when you can have brunch or whatever or lunch? Do you ever do that?

Do you ever stay the extra day? I sometimes take days off because I... Yeah, I mean, especially, yeah, if it's a city I want to go to or at least I like to fly in the night before. Which I didn't used to do when they asked me to do radio, but now I try to sort of avoid places like that. But I like to just, I mean, yeah, I like to, you wake, you go to catch a later flight the day before. Right. You had a dinner. Do you have a free night to have dinner?

at the place I recommended to you. And then your shows are Saturday and Sunday. Today's what Friday? No, Friday and Saturday. And yeah, I'm too tight. And then I'm like flying out at six in the morning. So I should just do it. I think you should do it.

This is the mentality that I'm trying to have. And I'm already fighting kind of going against it. This kind of return to comedy after our sabbatical, our fourth sabbatical. I'm trying to be looser with it and not be caught in all of the old habits and all the old rules on stage and off you know like even like traveling down here yesterday i was just you know no stress in the airport i wasn't you know just give yourself from more i checked a bag which i never do i kind of like checking a bag i mean i i try sometimes regret it but like i do like just walking around with a backpack especially because i get through the airport

four hours before my flight and you end up walking around and i'm like why am i here so early but uh i've also never missed a flight but uh right right and then yeah and so i'm trying to break out break these kind of like habits and it was like well my habit was i could i had to like dial it in and and like stay in my room and then go to the show and eat really light and then go to the show and then do the but why not just go with my uh other yeah i feel like at some point you get good enough where it's not like i would have had a good show if i hadn't had that four o'clock dinner Like it's not going to be that way. It's going to be like, you're going to, because you've done shows sick, I'm sure.

And, you know, there's sort of a, so eat that heavy meal. I think you should do it because that way you won't have any sort of like, oh, I should have done that. The worst are going to happen is you're full on stage. Now, why is this place so good? I just, I think I've only been there once or twice, but it's just kind of like, you just feel like they're, they're serious. It's like, it's like, it's just kind of a cool vibe and the food is good. kind of American food. Right.

I think that's what it is. I remember having some sort of roasted chicken, I think. It's just, yeah, simple American fair, if I recall. What is your, what are you into right now? Because you do appreciate good food, and that's why I'm taking this recommendation very seriously. I, what am I into? Oh, you know, well, something I've discovered in the past, I don't know, eight years is Japanese

curry. Have you ever had that? No. Oh, that's good. Really? It's just kind of curry, but it's not like the, it's not the same flavor as Indian curry. It's just simple, you know, sauce with either chicken or vegetables and just over rice. Some places have spice levels you can get.

Really? I've never even heard of Japanese curry. Yeah, we'll go in the city. Oh, yeah, that'll be good. I know. I always feel like when we're hanging around the cellar, you're always like milling around, like, I could have. It doesn't sound good. I've got time.

I'm done with my set. I could eat here. But I always sense that you know that there's better out there. It's not so much that there's better. It's just that I know I'm going to eat it to cellar 180 times in a year. And it's kind of in an area where, like, you can explore other food options. It's not like, this is the only place you can eat. I know.

But it's sometimes hard to get comics to be like, come on, just let's walk two blocks. I know. You were trying to get me to go to the Bowery with you. And I was like, I don't know if I have another location in me tonight, Todd. Well, I was excited about asking to go to Bowery. Then I don't know when I did my set or I did something. And I came back out and you had a plate of nachos in front of you. I was like, well, he's not going anywhere else.

It was just lazy. Those are good nachos there at the cellar. They are good. And I get, that's the Tompapa style because they ruined them. They have a new version of them. Oh, what's the new version? Well, the classic comedy seller nachos, the olive tree restaurant, which is up above, it was that they did this brilliant thing, which I had never seen served in a restaurant before,

where they give you a whole plate of chips with nothing but cheese. Yeah. Cheese covered off. And then a side plate with all the nacho stuff. Because the most disgusting part of a nacho is when- tipping your fucking hands in there. Yeah, and you've got some salsa, and then you've got some like, heavy sour cream patches.

It just becomes a disgusting mess. But if it's nice and clean with the chip and the cheese, then you have your options to pick up a jalapeno on your way to your mouth. I have a famous Toddberry-Berry-style nachos, which is pretty similar to years where it's just, especially at comedy clothes, we like Todd-Berry-style nachos, it's just cheese and jalapinos.

Nothing else. That's great. The olive, nothing messy. Just, that's all I want. Yeah. A lot of heavy on the jalapinos. Oh, yeah. It's got a little trouble sleeping that night.

Yeah, whatever. But I don't like messy foods. Like, you know, you see an ad for like a chicken sandwich and the juice is dripping onto my forearm. It's like that's fucking disgusting. I know. I like dry food. I do too.

And when I'm out with other people, I've been pretty conscious lately of get something that you can eat with a fork or with chopsticks. Don't get something that you are having to have to have to, having the hands. use two hands and put it into your face, especially if it's like someone you don't see that often. There's something a little more elegant and restrained if you're having to use a utensil. Yeah, yeah. Do you, is there other foods that you eat with the fork? Do you ever eat like fries with a fork?

No, that's ridiculous. I sometimes, because I don't like greasy hands. And also depending on how clean my hands are. Right. You know, I just thought of another restaurant and I actually know the owner of it. but it's in Chapel Hill. In Chapel Hill. Is that near where I am?

I don't know. I can find out. I'll find out after and then I'll send appropriate texts. Okay. Because I forgot about that because I think it's in Chapel Hill. So are you going back on the road? I am. Well, tomorrow I'm doing one night in Royersford, Pennsylvania, which I don't know what it's like.

I heard the club's good. It's like a tent. Then I have like another thing in June. And then I'm really starting to kick in, starting July, August, going all over. Nice. I kind of just like send me anywhere. Yeah, I know. It really is so delightful.

Just like walking around in a new neighborhood again, hearing people with accents. It's like, oh, I'm something's different. Yeah, I get excited just because, I mean, any city, especially of a city I've never been to, I get excited. Even if it's like a city I wouldn't consider ever going to. Normally. Are you going to be doing your brilliant crowd work? Or will you be? You know, it's funny.

I'm generally not going to do that, but I just got an offer in Chicago area. And I was like, God, I was kind of, because it's like I was there right before the pandemic. So if you don't count the pandemic as any sort of progress time for comedy. Yeah. It's like coming back two months later, I feel like. Right. And it's like, I'm not ready to go back to Chicago. So I go, I'll do crowdwork shows and like, I'm doing them like in Evanston, Illinois.

So that way, I can. I can still make money and still make people laugh without having them go, this is the show I saw a year ago. What I mean is I have a brand new hour every six months. Right. What about you? Do you have a lot of new stuff? Oh, go ahead.

I do have a lot of new stuff, a good amount. But like last night when I was doing it, I was recording it. And I did like an hour. I was like, that was good. But then when you see, like, I was doing some crowd work. within it. I probably did, I don't know, 12 minutes of crowdwork also. So, you know, I don't think I have as much great stuff as I thought you did. But it's got to be pretty freeing, rolling in knowing that it is just crowd work. It is. It's surprisingly, it sounds like I think to some people would sound like,

oh, that's way harder. To me, I'm, first of all, I don't have to, all have to do is take a shower for my show. I don't have to look anything over. So great. And then I think it's just because it's surprising to me what's going to happen. So I get a little more excited than like, here's that joke. I've done 150 times. Well, 150. That's not a lot, but like 100,000 times. Right. Not that I don't like telling good jokes and writing good jokes, but I mean, there is something. Really at it. But that's, that's the kind of the thing. Like, you know, coming up, there were people who you would see doing a lot of crowdwork and you knew it was because they didn't have material. And you were the rare combination of you write brilliant jokes.

I actually have strong opinions about, I hate when, I mean, I hate when comics do crowdwork on a show, with rare exceptions, but like if they're like going on before another act. Oh, do you mean like in a, just like at the cellar kind of a thing? Yeah, I mean, I just feel like, especially if you have 15 minutes, you should be, I feel like I hate to say what you should be doing, but work on something. well, dick around. Right, yeah. And then do it 27 years and then do an entire special where you just dick around.

Is it, is it, do you think the crowd comes in with a different expectation when they know it's a crowdwork show? Um, I think they're, they're surprisingly like, some people think all the crowds must be like, it must be crazy. And like, they're actually, my fans are pretty, just, I don't sophisticated, but. they are they are sophisticated but they're also well be well behaved and some of times it's kind of it's kind of like it's hard to get them to talk but yeah yeah i don't push it too much because if someone's just like clearly uncomfortable then i that doesn't do anything for me right that's got to be so nice though that just hearing that like because now i'm like so like why don't you do some all why don't you do some all crowd work shows uh uh that's your thing no

I didn't invent it. I mean, I made it incredibly famous and put it on the map. Well, what's also frustrating is when you are working on stuff and you have like a lot of, and stuff that's working and that it's really enjoyable. But then you throw some crowdwork in invariably when people come up after the show, they always bring up the funny thing that happened with the crowdwork section. Right. That thing with the guy who's like Steve during your act.

Yeah. I'm glad you like that. How about that mailman? That was so perfect. What about that joke? It's magic. 30 hours trying to work on. Yeah, it does seem like a little magical kind of thing. Yeah. It seems like they think you have like another power. Right.

But you do. I do, yeah. What's that big arc behind you? Oh, you know, that is, that is, I'm glad you asked about that's the cat exercise wheel. Oh, really? Yeah. I have a cat. I don't just have a cat.

I don't just use it myself. She, yeah, just gets on there. She freaks out on it. Yeah, it spans in it. The idea is to wear her out so I can sleep. I mean, attacking you in your sleep? She was, yeah, she was, she was, she goes in and out of like where I'm like, I need to call professional help.

Like I got a call from a behaviorist vet that I'm trying to make it a point with. But lately she's been quiet. But she gets a little attacky. She's sort of a, you have cats, right? Yeah, we have one cat. We've had a lot of cats throughout the years, though. She's a little, she's fire. I call her fiery.

That's how I describe her. She's very sweet cat, but she's not one of these like bump on a log cats where you're just like, come here, sit on my lap. Like she'll sit on my lap, but it's got to be her choice to sit on my lap. but I don't even know what your original question was because like it's it was really about the arc it was this really does seem like a love affair but yeah it's really funny when she uses but it was also a thing where like I was I was you know it was like it was like a few hundred couple hundred bucks and then I was like then I had to build it which was you know it's one of those things hey build it in 15 minutes

okay four hours later I'm crying and sweating and punching people and thinking about hiring someone to fucking like but the cat's confused and then I was like the harder I'm building this the more likely is she's never going to use it but then she actually started I figured out I'd get her to use it she uses it so I've got to us growing up did you have pets I had a cat when I was younger yeah and then like an iguana or a snake or two and then I had a girlfriend a few years ago oh yeah, who had a cat. She lived with me.

They both lived with me, her and the cat. Oh, really? Yeah, and then that ended. And the cat, she took the cat. And then I was like, I'm going to get my own cat. And now I'm like, whoa, I fucked up. No, she's looking at me right now. Look at that.

What's her name again? Her name is Michaelene, which is a very exotic name. But it's the name she had. And I just said, I'm keeping that. It's kind of cool. What's your cat's name? My cat's name is Bowser. Really? Sort of a dog name.

Yeah, sort of a dog name. Acts kind of like a dog in L.A. goes outside all the time. We'll not stay in the house. Just goes out and hunts. See, I was her, do you worry about coyotes? Yeah. Actually, we're on high alert right now because across the street, there's our neighbor. There's, it's kind of like a tiered hill behind her.

And there's a family of coyotes living up there. So we're very concerned. And we're not sure if they're coming down and hunting. Our dog is going crazy because she senses this family is there. Yeah, but there's no stopping this. There's no stopping this cat. You can't stop this cat from going outside. Just can't.

And it's kind of like he knows the risks. Man, that's scary. It is scary. But that's the way of the wild. You see, you have a lot of land, do you? I wouldn't say a lot of land. enough land for coyote slaughter it doesn't take much land too really for a cat and a coyote to be in the same spot no exactly oh man yeah what kind of food did you grow up with todd when you were like with your pediguana

i for myself what kind of food i am yeah i was always a picky i'm still kind of a picky eater but i'm way more adventurous than I used to be. But I'm not one of those people who like, just bring me food. I'll eat it like a chef's tasting menu is like my worst nightmare. Because I know they'll be like they try, you know, they put so much effort in art artistry and I'm like, I, this has a mushroom and I don't want to eat that. That has a whole tomato. I'm not going to.

So I was kind of picky and I kind of like, I remember like, I like my orange juice strained without pulp. And I remember eating a lot of ritz crackers with people. peanut butter on them, which was somehow called a lunch. And my mom made these pork chops that she called saki pork chops, which is kind of like, I mean, sake maybe. I think she called them saki, but I don't know if she made that up. But clearly it was attempted Asian influenced without cultural appropriation, just kind of

like, she wasn't pretending. Early 80s just give it a try. early 80s, Jesus. We're talking 70s, my friend. Nice. Was she a good cook? I mean, she made some good stuff. I don't know that, I don't, she wasn't like,

I don't think she was like a super passionate cook, but I think they made some good stuff. And my dad would barbecue and burn every burn stuff. And it was a terrible childhood food wise. No, it was fine. You'd just be watching your dad at the grill, ruining stuff going inside, grab some ritz crackers. I think maybe that's where I got my love of burnt food.

How do you take? Do you like burnt food? I got a bagel the other day in Arizona and it was kind of burnt. I was like, oh, good. I know. I'm with you. I like that. I like burnt pretzels.

Yeah. Oh, burnt pretzels is one of my favorite snacks. You like mustard? Oh, I love mustard. Any kind of mustard. I love mustard. I just was reading someone on tweet. People were doing like food controversies and someone was like,

mustard should be outlawed. I know they're not serious, but I think I love mustard, man. I love mustard. Do you like tuna? Ooh, see, that I've never tried canned tuna in my life, not once. Never? Never tried egg salad in my life, never tried a hard-boiled egg.

What? Yeah, there's just certain foods that I'm like, I don't need to ever try that. But I've tried two oysters in my life. Two. Yeah, and I wish I liked sushi, but I'm going to try that sushi. Every, like, 20 years, I'd try sushi again.

You're so close. You're there with the Japanese curry. I know. I know. Why? Is it the rawness? Is it a texture? It is a texture thing.

And else, yeah, I mean, I think, but I just, it's one of those foods. Like some foods I'm fine, not ever eating, but sushi, I feel like, I have friends who just love it so much and be nice to go. Let's get sushi. Yeah, it's good. But there's also, like, isn't there a lot to learn about the technique and not, like, dipping it and being an ugly American about it? No.

Oh, you just know, says the ugly American. Yeah, I'm an ugly American. I don't know how to do everything right. Yeah, I don't do everything right. I'm doing my best. I'm trying. It seems like you would love sushi, but it seems like you don't like raw kind of things. If you're not doing a hard-boiled egg.

I like raw vegetables better than I like cooked vegetables, I think. Mm-hmm. Except for like a nice roasted carrot, though. A roasted carrot's good, but raw carrots. last night after the show, I didn't feel like really eating. So I just had some vegetables. I had some raw carrots and celery and broccoli. And I was like, this carrot, they really figured this thing out.

Yeah. The broccoli's too intense. The celery is not enough. The carrots, right. Then you hear about the carrot and it's like, oh, that's not a good vegetable eat. Okay. That doesn't count. Okay.

Do they say that? I feel like any vegetable that you find yourself suddenly enjoying, they're like, oh, yeah, When we say eat vegetables, we don't mean carrots. Which ones do you hate? I hate lime beans. You got to eat lot of lime beans. I mean, I thought out there's a lot of sugar in carrots, I think. Oh, really?

I don't know. Yeah, that's probably why I'm enjoying them. It's a vegetable and it's making bright. That's the big thing is you're supposed to eat really bright colored vegetables. I'm 99% sure if someone is going to correct me on what I just said about carrots. I look forward to that. grant message. It's actually good for you, you fucking idiot.

I'm a nutritionist. Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm just shooting my mouth off on a podcast. Sorry. I just shouldn't, I shouldn't just speak. I have to know everything. The, uh, the, the, uh, particular part of you I'm, I'm struggling with because you seem,

but you know what? That's the thing. Like, I get a sense from you when we're in New York. Like, you've sought it out. You're thoughtful. That's what it is. You're thoughtful. Like you, you're not just going to be like, yeah, let's go over here and try this place. You'll be like, no, this is a, I've checked it out. My hands aren't going to be greasy. The people are nice. Are you saying that I'm a little too prepared when I go out to eat or something? Not too prepared. I think I think that's why I trust your, this is why it's driving me crazy about going to this restaurant because I know it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, I don't know, name a comic, Colin just going, yeah, go to that place.

Colin, he's like, he eats pizza and that's it. It's old Colin. Pizza and Diet Coke's. He's never tried anything other than pizza in his life. My father-in-law hated canned tuna and he hated mustard. And he saw me one day making can tuna with mustard instead of mayonnaise. Oh, man. I would say if I was going to be forced to eat can tuna, I would go your recipe.

Yeah, it's good. You ever have mustard on sweet potatoes? Oh, man, that's good. And grilled cheese, it's great on. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, just imagine that. It's good.

Just like a brown mustard? Like a... Any mustard as, you know, Dijon. What's your opinion on the yellow mustard? There's really no mustard that I don't like. But I mean, I feel like some mustards are like if I had, you know, like grilled chicken, I probably would want a Dijon mustard. but if all you had was yellow and it was I'd be like it's not going to be bad either honestly but

I just made a chicken dish it was chicken thighs and you had you took brown like brown chunky mustard like oh oh the grainy yeah the grainy one and you chop up garlic and paprika put mix it in the mustard coat the chicken with that mustard sauce and just uh oh that sounds good oh so good why chicken thighs See, I feel like that's another place where I feel like where they're like, everyone knows chicken breast tastes better. So you really should be eating chicken thighs because they're fucking no juicier. Fuck that. There's nothing more depressing to me than a chicken breast. It's just so.

Oh, really? Oh, my God. It's like bland. Once you get to the thigh, you're like, oh, why was I a breast man? I mean, I can eat thigh, but it's just kind of like a little slimy. It is a little slimy, but it's got more flavor to it. It's a little darker. True.

Yeah. I'm going to have to just politely disagree with you on this. It's the first fight. And that's the first food fight of the podcast. I'm going to go to your restaurant today. And it's going to be nothing but chicken breasts. So you have all day tomorrow, right? I do.

I'm going to find you something. Yeah, I need a lunch place. I mean, to do like the one o'clock is perfect. Yeah, I'm going to find your place. You have a big lunch. You come back, you recover, you go to the show. But again, I'm trying to break those old habits. It's trying to be loose with it.

I'm going to ask a friend, and then they might ask to be on your guest list, but it'll, uh, it'll, uh, it'll work out. It'll all work out. That'll be fine. All right, Tom. Well, thank you so much. This is it. This is it. Oh, my God. I wanted to talk about, uh, desserts. No, I'm joking. Thanks for having me, Tom.

This was really very cool. I can't wait to, uh, I can't wait to come back to New York. This trip, really, I spent two nights with you. And we had such a nice time. and seeing everybody in doing spots, it was just like in New York, the weather was perfect. It was one of those trips that makes it tough to get on a plane

and leave town. You think you might move back? Yeah, I think so. Some degree. Well, we'll find a good place to eat when you move back. Yeah, we'll go for sushi and chicken thighs. All right, man.

All right, buddy, you're the best. Thanks a lot. All right, talk to you soon. Bye. And now, let's get out the phone and give a call and grab a quick bite with the lovely and talented and always funny, Kira Soltanovitch. Kira. Tom.

Oh, my God. I miss you. You know, I'm being 100% honest right now. I was about to text you before you texted me and let you know that I was eating Indian food while drinking coffee. That is disgusting. Makes sense at the same time. I don't think so. I literally, you took two things I loved and put them together.

Yeah. And maybe not like either of them. Where are you doing this? I'm doing this in my backyard. Can you still hear me? Yes. Okay, good. I'm having leftover Indian food and a cup of coffee hiding behind a Buddha.

I bought a Buddha from my backyard so I could hide behind it and it's working. Is that your family doesn't see you? Yes, yes, it is working. Get yourself a big Buddha. Get yourself one. It's worth every penny, parents. I've got a new one for you. Go back on the road.

I'm in North Carolina. Fantastic. I'm in a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, in a pretty horrible Hilton hotel and there's um the air conditioning is on and off and I could not be happier. Exactly. But you have adult adjacent like you, they're fine. I'm still wiping butts.

So I know, but you know what? It's not going to get better. It's not going to get easier. They're going to get bigger. And, you know, they always say bigger kids, bigger problems. Bigger butts, I guess. Yeah, they're more intelligent. They can see better than you, and they use it all to their advantage,

and it doesn't get that much easier. The physical part, the physical part of what you're doing, chasing them, wiping, all that stuff. That goes away, and then they just torture you mentally. You know, they act like they live in a retirement community. It drives me crazy. They wake up and they're like, what activities do you have planned for us today? They look at the flyer, the daily flyer on the refrigerator. Yeah.

And they're like, so I go, I'm not a cruise director. What are you talking about? Because we're homeschooling. Yeah. And so they wake up and they're like, did you make a scavenger hunt in the middle of the night for us to wake up? to wake up to? This place is really slipping. In the backyard for all of mommy's dreams.

I scattered them all in the backyard. Go look for them. It's nuts, but I'm very jealous of you. And I would love to be in any of the North Carolina's, North, South, East, West, any of them. I would love to be in them right now. I know. I really was thinking about you because this is kind of the first. I mean, I went out and did like a one night in almost.

Mahan, Kansas City and different places like that. But this is like the first time I went to New York and did shows, and I came to North Carolina. I'm doing shows like the first time in the rhythm since, we were at the end of our tour in Washington State in Walla Walla, when you and I were racing against COVID that was just landing on the shores. Exactly. And so now that I'm back in the rhythm, I just made me think of you,

and it's like, we've got to go back out and do something. We got to do it. I don't care if it's in West Covina. Honestly, I will even take South Pasadena at this point. I'll go anywhere. Anywhere. Do you remember that gas station restaurant we ate in? I just told my husband about that gas station restaurant a couple days ago.

It was amazing. Yeah. I looked it up online. It's called Andrea's. Andrea's Kitchen. It was in this, it literally was a first. food mart of a of a gas station and it was some of the best food i think i had all year well i'll let you know right now that this is like a very popular thing in europe we're just

we're just figuring it out here in the states in europe i had the best food at the little itty-bitty gas stations and i'm like i don't even know if it was a gas station i know there was a pump and something crude slowed out of it but but then they give you like uh you know have a couple a coffee while you're waiting for your gas to pop. I was like, what is this magical syrup you just poured in my face? It was the best coffee I've ever had. What is at a gas station? Like, in the south of France.

And you're like, this coffee is delicious. Can I have a pineapple with it? Can you take a masala? You know what would go around with this latte? You got to try it. You know, honestly. How many, how many, how many coffees do you have a day? day?

I try to do two. Sometimes I might do three. Okay. That's not a lot. If I have a Buddha that I can hide behind, maybe five. I just, you know, I've been really trying not to do as much. So I'm drinking a lot of teas. I'm doing like 17 teas a day.

It's too much. Maybe we shouldn't go on tour again. No, no, no. I don't. Tees are gone. You say the word. You say the word and the teaser forever gone. There's no tea on my tour.

I'm trying. I'm trying. I don't want to drink so much coffee. And then I'm doing like some magnesium gummies. I'm all over the place. I'm all over the place. They make me tired. I get some more coffee.

It's ridiculous. And they also, much like Indian food and a latte, they make you go to the bathroom. So I'm busy. I'm very busy throughout the day. I have a lot going on. All right. This all sounds like a cry for help. It is.

It sounds like I've got to look at the calendar and come send a car and get you out of there. I will tell you, I thought about you when I was naked with Koreans recently. Oh, really? I was in Vegas and their Korean spas are fully open. So I went and got scrubbed and sweat and, like, had a Korean yell at me. That was fantastic. I still have a lot. I still haven't done Korean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That will be next on your list. All right. I'll put it on the list. You draft the tea, and I'll find a massage therapist. Do it in North Carolina. They're everywhere. You think so?

Yeah. Do you know what they say? North Carolina, North Korea, sister cities. All right. I miss you. I miss you. Good luck with the Buddha. Thanks.

I'll talk to you soon. All right, sit tight. All right, kids, that's the big show. Thank you for spending time again here at Breaking Bread. Thank you to Todd Barry. Thank you to Kira Soltonovich. Thank you to credit karma. And thank you to you.

Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you give us lots of likes and lots of love as the community continues to grow. I love hearing from you on social media. Keep it coming. Let me know what you want to talk about, who you want to invite to the table. You're the host just as much as I am. So let me know who you would like us to invite and spend some time with. I will be back in Los Angeles next week, and I will give you a biscuit update.

Take care and enjoy your life.