Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 59 - Dan Ahdoot

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

Fellow food lover, actor and comedian Dan Ahdoot stops by and we grab a Quick Bite with the hilarious Ali Kolbert. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's our goal. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for coming and joining me for another wonderful meal slash podcast.

We've got a great one for you today. We've got the very talented comedian, two talented comedians. We've got Dan at Hute, who is just a super funny. He's been on Cobra Kai, and he is an amazing podcast called Green Eggs and Dan, which I will talk about in just a minute. And then Ali Colbert, my good friend, if you've ever listened to My Come to Papa Lives, she is one of my favorite comedians to use in sketches. She's just so damn funny.

We get a quick bite with Ali while I'm away in Portland, Oregon at karma so I would took a two things I want to talk about hot dogs and Portland first off let's talk about Portland I just came back thank you for everyone that came out to the shows they were amazing it was one of the places where I was able to sneak and go do shows last year last June July it was one of the first spots where they were just reopening there was like 20 people in the audience but we were getting the staff back into action opening the club dusting off the mics and trying to do pandemic comedy indoors and it worked and it was great but to go back this time a year later

and still not at full capacity but full enough it was definitely i don't know 150 200 people per show we did five shows. It was really, really great. It just felt amazing. I mean, they're a little behind, not behind California. We reopened, which is kind of a funny thing in its own right. But they're just a little behind. They're waiting until they get up until all of the vaccines reach 70%. They're at 68 or something. And then they'll reopen. And reopening in California, means that you don't have to wear your mask and you can just go back to your normal life. Asterist, kind of.

I went into the supermarket, which was my goal to go back into the supermarket because I shopped there two, three times a week, getting all of the stuff to make all of our wonderful meals. And it was very fraught and, of course, very strange trajectory. When I went in there at first with no mask on, because the NPR was telling me no mask,

and then get there. and by the time I got out, the warning had been put out there that we all had to wear masks. And then there was the big run on all the toilet paper and all the stuff, and it was crazy when they were just going through the shelves. And then the next stage was barren shelves

going in there with masks and gloves and all of that. And remember, like, leaving your groceries outside for a minute, hoping the COVID would blow off into the wind. And so it was just like these, little and then, you know, going and shopping for Thanksgiving, and you're just down to the mask. And so now we're down to a point where you don't need the mask at all. And I'm telling you, my good friends, the PTSD from this thing, I went back into the supermarket. I walked boldly in with no mask so excited to be back. I thought everybody was going to be high-fiving each other in

the vegetable aisle. I was the only person without a mask. Every single person was still wearing a mask. The science says that you are back. The state says that it's safe to go in there and not wear a mask. I'm just following by the rules. This isn't me having any emotion, emotional renegade response on my own. I'm just following the science as I did, which is why I stayed inside, and which is why I wore masks. And now the science says, go shop, little boy. Take off your mask and go back to normal.

And I even ask the manager, is it okay? because everybody's wearing a mask and he had two masks on so he said it was fine so I just kept going with no mask leading by example was the way I was looking at it because I get it people are still hesitant and you want to make people feel good around you but I'm just agreeing and following the rules and the rules say to do it that way so that's the way I want to keep doing it I'm going to go back today now that I'm back from Portland so Portland was an amazing, amazing time. And I had a fun couple of days.

I was lone. My opening acts were not people that I brought with me, so I had no commitments during the day. Normally my opening act and I would share the meals. But I was solo, which was good, because I'm getting through a big book, and I had a lot of writing. So I would just kind of go out and just walk around Portland

and let my coffee and food needs guide me. And it was great. I found all these great little spots. I found this chicken and rice place. I don't even remember the name. Kung Guy, something. It was just amazing by the Jupiter Hotel.

This just steamed chicken with white rice wrapped in a paper wrapper. A couple little cucumbers on the side. with this amazing sauce, served with a little soup. That's all they do. They just make this simple, simple tie dish. And, oh, my God. And it felt so good.

Like, you ate it and felt amazing. And had this amazing, amazing experience just eating it. It was just so perfect. It was just one of those things, which we talk about here all the time. When people do something really well, one thing really well, that's what this shop is. Oh, man, it was good. I went to CC coffee, which is the coffee spot that I've hit a couple of times where it's connected to a motorcycle shop. And you just sit there and drink coffee.

And everyone that's biking around Portland just come in and they pull in their bikes, they get off and they have coffee, see their friends, and they go off on their way. Oh, it's so perfect. And as a former biker, I don't laugh. Yes. I haven't been on the bike in a long time since I had children and moved to Los Angeles but oh man when you hear a bike start up and you see

you know exactly what they're doing and where they're going it's just like oh my God they've just living the life and then Coava Coffee which is just this legendary place and I got a couple bags of that and I'm drinking it right now oh so great such a wonderful time

of course chicken and guns which is is part of a food truck area, place, festival thing permanent. And these people make crazy good chicken with these crispy potatoes. Holy Toledo. I went with the other two acts from the show on the first night and oh, what? There are certain foods that you have a craving for

and you've gotta take care of that craving or they're just going to, You're going to be tortured by your craving. So first night, show over, right over to Chicken and Guns. Great beer place right next to it. Oh, heaven. Thank you, Portland. It was so great and got so much work done on the set.

The stand-up was so much fun. The shows were great. The crowd's amazing. One of my favorite places. One of my favorite places. All right. So quickly on Hot Dogs, it is. grill time. It is time to get out there and live your life. We've had a heat wave here in California.

So we had my daughter's birthday. We had some celebrations going on. There was no sitting in the kitchen and making big pasta meals. It was hit the grill, fire it up, get going, grilling corn, grilling vegetables. And then I am sitting with a pack of Nathan's hot dogs. And I am sitting with a pack of Hebrew national hot dogs. And it's time to end the debate. Now, if you have a hot dog out there that you love, send it my way. Let me know. Send it on Instagram, send it on Twitter. That's probably where I'll see it the most. Facebook, I'll probably see it in a couple weeks. But what is your go-to dog? And it is dog time, and we should be celebrating our lives and forget about what's in it. forget about the nitrates, forget about all that stuff.

I don't want to hear your belly aching. This is a hot dog safe space. And I fired up the Nathan's hot dog. I've got to say it was kind of skinny. The taste was good, but it was almost like an asparagus spear. And today I'm going to break out the Hebrew National, which of course is a beef-based hot dog. and I will be putting Nathan's to the test.

And this is just the beginning of the hot dog challenge, because if you buy a pack of hot dogs and you live with vegetarians, you're going to be eating a lot of the hot dogs by yourself. I love Nathan's hot dogs. Let me be very clear. Love them to death. I've been eating them for my entire life. They are my faves.

When you walk up to the cart or walk up to the shop and you get that. crisp, but they were just bigger and they're more plump. You don't want an asparagus spear as a hot dog. It just leaves you wanting more. I don't want to twist two together. Come on, Nathan's, get it together. Okay, we've got a great podcast for you today. We've got Danette Hute, who is a very funny comedian. He's been in Cobra Kai, which a lot of people know him from right now, but he's a very good, very funny stand-up comedian, a Long Island kid. And he loves food as much, as I do. His podcast, which I just did, which you should go and listen to, Green Eggs and Dan, is so good. He makes you take a picture of your refrigerator, and then he discusses everything

that you've got in there. He doesn't want you to set it up. He just wants you to snap it and be honest. And then he, it's very, it's, it's a great thing to do. It's a great hook for a podcast because it's very personal and I felt very naked and ashamed at some of the things I had in there. Also some pride because, you know, I know what I'm doing, I'm trying to always have some good stuff in there because I'm always trying to make good stuff. And so, but it's, you know, it's like showing somebody your underwear drawer. It's very exposing. So we have a great conversation. We get into stuff about our families.

We get in stuff of great places to hit in New York and L.A. And a really, really great guy. He's going to, he's quickly becoming a pal, and we are going to eat a lot together throughout Los Angeles and beyond. So Dan Ad Hute, and then we're going to get a quick bite with Ali Colbert, who is so damn funny. She's just so quick, so funny. Beyond the sketch work that I do with her, she's just,

we had her on the come to pop, during the pandemic too. And we mimicked what she does on Instagram, which is field people's questions about relationships and things like that. And she's just so honest and so damn funny about it. I just love her to death. So we're going to do a quick bite with her

and then we're going to have her on the podcast as the lead guest because I just want to keep talking to her. Okay, so let's start off. Let's start off. Let's break some bread with the very funny Dan at Hout. Good to see you, Dan. Good to see you too.

I haven't seen you since I did your podcast. That is correct, which actually the season has just started. Jack Pepin kicked us off. Very exciting. If you haven't had him on your podcast, you absolutely should. I'm sorry, who was that? Jacques Pepin. Oh, yeah.

He was the, it was him and Julia Child, right? They were, they kind of started together. Is that right? Yeah, it's pretty fascinating. I mean, he, he started doing TV before any chefs were doing TV, and it was all public, you know, television. He was making no money on it. And he gave up working, being the chef for the Kennedys to basically to start doing food for Howard Johnson's. And then that ended up turning into his TV career with Julia Child.

And he just, he had so many great stories about just getting hammered with Julia Child while they were shooting. That's amazing. So he's got to be in his 80s now? Yeah, he's up there. Yeah. And he came out with a cookbook. Like he's still slinging books. Jeez, that's amazing.

It's nuts. That's amazing. Well, let me start off by asking you, this is my new way of getting into our podcast. What is the best thing you've eaten today? The best thing I've eaten today? I've only eaten one thing today. Oh, and what was it? And it wasn't even, it was a smoothie.

I don't know if that's even eating. It's all right. It's okay. It went in your body. So that's where your head was at. You're like, I'm not eating today. I'm going to, I'm dialing it in. I, you know, I just, it's been a busy day.

And I was like, let me just shove in a big smoothie, go all day. I did that yesterday, actually. I had a, I was, I was, I traveled back from New York where when I, you know, you get to New York and you haven't been there in a while, you just eat like crazy. Yeah. I had like two steaks. I had this crazy sandwich. Where did you go? I went to del friscoes. Oh, nice. Had a big dinner for, uh, for our friend Colin Quinn. It was his, uh, it was his birthday. So we brought some people from the comedy seller and we went and, uh, celebrated his birthday. And it was the first time we got, we get these, um, we do these comedy seller dinners like three

times a year. And I organize it and get everybody together. And it's, just been such a great tradition. And then, of course, we didn't get to do it for a year and a half. So this was the first one back. And it was so exciting because it was so funny because we're all there. You're around the table. It's like Robert Kelly and the Noam and Esty, you know, run the comedy seller and Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarly and all these people.

And we're like, okay, welcome everybody. Let's make a toast. And we go to toast. Everybody was so awkward because they hadn't toast. hosted anybody in so long. The glasses like shoved into each other. I had a nice, a nice cold martini and someone else's drink,

like lemon something, just dumped into mine. It was just a, oh no. Just a shit show. That is amazing. I actually, so I was in New York probably the same time you were,

and I had a steak dinner as well. And it was down the block from the comedy cellar. Oh. At Manetta. Oh, at the Manetta, that's a good spot. Manetta Tavern, yeah. I just found out that my great-great-grandfather or great-great-grandfather lived upstairs from Manetta.

No way. Yeah. When they first came over from Italy, that was one of the grandparents in my lineage, lived upstairs, probably with 12 people, upstairs from Manette. right there on Manette Alene. Wow. And as fate would have it, that's become your home club is right downstairs. So bizarre. Really weird.

But do you do that? I don't feel to be, you're like part of a comedy seller royalty. Like, it's a very hard club to crack into. Yeah. Have you, did you, you lived in New York? Yes, I was in New York for 10 years. For 10 years. And I was passed at every single club except for the comedy.

Did you ever audition? I, You know, the thing is I never was, I'm not a good hangout comic. I don't like a lot of comics. So the last thing I want to do is like spend my free time with miserable comics. And it's just like, they're not all miserable. A lot of them are great. But, but I mean, that coupled with, I don't know, I've never been a very good hangout

comic, which is my, which is why I think the comedy store and the seller are like the only two clubs that I'm not past at because they seem like you got they're like hangout clubs a little bit yeah yeah I don't I can't or at least that's what I tell myself to feel better about not getting past right exactly if I'd only hung out yeah but when I got back from when I got back from New York and the same thing I literally was like I don't my body is telling me I don't need any food right now and yesterday I was starting to feel a little like I need something and I made a pro protein shake. And I was like, let me do this as an experiment and see, will this shake sustain me throughout

the day? Like, will this be enough? And it was. It was like, this is pretty effective. It's weird because especially in L.A. If you're saying I'm having a smoothie, everyone thinks you're on some weird diet. But it's literally like the days where it's like just nonstop work stuff, it just like, I'm going to eat like an animal tonight. Don't don't get me wrong.

Yeah. Like I had I had a huge veal parmesan last night with like, you know, farfali pasta to start with and like oysters. And yeah, like I, this is not a like a way of life for me. Yeah. Literally just like function. Right. Exactly. It's like I need space food while I'm on my mission. give me the calories to get through these podcasts and interviews and stuff and then go nuts. Yeah, that's hilarious. Where did you have that meal? The restaurant that I love in L.A., it's called Marvin. Oh, yeah?

It's just my neighborhood joint. It's the place where I can go and, you know, the chef will. Like, they don't have a veal parmesan on the menu, but they have a chicken parmesan, and he made it with veal for me because I asked him if I could, you know, kill a tortured. And he allowed it. That type of place. Although I will say, so I just, and this is not just plugging. This is literally, it's part of the convo.

So I just finished shooting, I'm going to have my own Food Network show, which I'm not sure if I told you. No, you didn't tell me that. Congratulations. And thank you. And so we were shooting in Atlanta, and it's like a competition show. And we were shooting every day from basically 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. It was insanity. And it's one of these shows that starts with four chefs,

and then it's a whittled down to three, two, and then there's a winner. Right. So every day, it was me and two judges were trying the food that the chefs were making, which you think is a dream job. But they make this food. And then you have to wait like 45 minutes for them to take pictures and videos of the food, like for B-roll. Yeah.

And then by the time you get to it, all that like soft cheese has like congealed, like all the foam on the beautiful fine dining dish has like you know turned to like a big puddle of like beet juice I never thought of that all of the romance that I thought I was like this is great I'm gonna have the best chefs cooking for me it is like I've never been so turned off by food and then you have to pretend that you're judging it like is the real thing for the first time I mean it's oh that's hilarious that is really something so what's the name of the show Can you say? It's called Raid the Fridge.

Raid the Fridge. And, yeah, it's basically like a bootleg iron chef, like where four chefs get mystery fridges and they have 20 minutes to make brunch and, you know. But it's very joke heavy. I'm describing it as like a comedy show cloaked in a food show and a food show cloaked in a comedy show. Nice. And was this your idea?

No, but it was someone, they approached me because of my podcast, which is all about what's inside people's fridges. So. I love that segment. by the way. Yeah. That was so great. Just if,

and for everyone listening, you've got to go over and, and check out the podcast that we did together. Yeah, Green Eggs and Dan, it's called. Yeah. And it really,

and he, and Dan asks, just take a picture of your fridge. Don't set it up. Just snap it and send it. And, uh, it really is such a great.

I can see why they would come to you for, to be a part of this food network thing because just that thing is so, so entertaining. I literally have thought about it. I've thought about the discussion we had about it because I got busted for having a can of opened olives in the refrigerator. And I literally can't get it out of my head. I'm like, I hope he knows I don't normally do that. Oh, man, I had this NASCAR raced around yesterday. And, you know, he had this fridge that was so strange. It was like there was, um, there was like a bunch of like, uh, uh, like, uh, like, um, like, um, like, body armor energy drink. And then there was like a really beautiful bottle of mescal,

like Del Maguire, mescal. And I was like, what's like? Yeah, my girlfriend was in town. And I don't know, she and her friends were over. I guess I'll have a glass of that wine later. I was like, dude, it's not wine. That's mescal. You didn't even know. That's hilarious. I don't know. It's a very, it's a very funny way to. Also, the other, the fun, the, the, to me, more funny part is that there are so many guests that haven't done the podcast because they will refuse at the last minute to send a picture of their fridge. Is that true? Yeah, I swear.

And I'm like, and big celebrities, huge celebrities. And I'm like, you know, I'm talking to their assistant. And I'm like, I need a picture of their fridge. And they're like, yes, but he's put this time aside for you. I'm like, we can't do it. This is the whole premise of the podcast. And like, they get so angry. But like, what am I going to do?

It's literally, I mean, with one with one of the celebrities, we compromised on the picture of the door of the fridge. Hilarious. It is kind of, it is, I mean, that's why it's great. It is a little invasive. It is like, you are like showing people a little private snapshot of what you've, what you've got going on. If you could have seen mine this morning, the result of me being away and leaving my refrigerator

to my family is just a disaster. Like, you know it's people that don't care when. I literally opened it and there was a tiny thing of guacamole from Bakito Moss that they had. That was the base. And then a little bigger, totally upside down, a little bigger thing of blueberries on top of that. And then a giant thing of Parmesan cheese on top of it. It was like a Dr. Seuss construction. I'm like, nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Oh, my God. Also, Dr. Seuss has been canceled. So you have to say Jenga. It was a Jenga. Right. Exactly. Oh, man.

So what did you, so what, what, what, what prompted you to, because, you know, we both share this, this, you actually, we met when you did the serious XM show. Yeah. Yeah. The what a joke show. And that was the first time that we actually discussed that we both had this passion for food and went into the podcast world accordingly. What, what is your background? What, what turned you on and at what age? I mean, I was always, I was always a big fan of food. I mean, grew up with Persian immigrants, you know, so who were my parents? I didn't just grow up with the random Persian immigrants.

I'm Irish, but this Persian couple. Yeah, they just, you know, they were the highest bidder. And so, you know, it was a type of thing where it's like if we didn't have a family meal every. night, then, you know, my mom failed as a mother. She'd be cooking all day, every day. Yeah. And my dad also, like, went to school in Europe, so he kind of had the European sensibilities growing up and stuff. And then I kind of moved to New York in the early 2000s, which was a very exciting time for food in that town.

You know, it was like Mario Battali was starting his empire and starting other things. And there were just so many amazing restaurants. And I just, you know, and I was starting up as a stand-up there. And any basically money that I was making was going to, you know, these food gods of mine. And I really loved it. And then I started touring. And then I used that as a way to like be able to visit amazing restaurants on the road. And then I remember I did like 160 colleges one year. And I was like, this is too much. And I came back and I wanted to do something completely out of the box. So I signed up for classes at the French. Culinary Institute and I was telling my buddies who the spotted pig was a restaurant that was like a block away from where I live and they were like just I was telling them about it and they were like dude don't do that just come here and work in the kitchen and it'll be free right so I was like the kitchen intern for like two summers at the spotted pig no way and I just loved it and it was this thing where I don't know if you went through this too but it was like I kind of had these I was living a little bit of a double life because I feel like comics especially yeah love to like poo poo on like you want to like you want to like like fancy food or like, you know, foodie culture in general. It's probably shifting a little more now.

Yeah. And, you know, I feel like I felt like I was living this little double life where I, you know, I like leave the comics and be like, yeah, I'm just going to get a burrito and just go home, whatever. And then like, you know, I'd sit down and like Wiley Dufran's like three star restaurant alone. That's amazing. That's so great. You know, I've literally have thought about that and I've brought it up with some bakers that,

that I've had on the podcast. There's a couple that I really just admire. And I just kind of say it almost as a joke, but also it's like if you've ever asked out, ask somebody out on a date and you're not sure if you weren't confident enough. So you kind of like phrase it as a joke. So if they laugh and blow you off, you're just like, I was just kidding.

I would, but with these bakers, I'm like, I should just come here for the summer. and work with you. They're like, ah, no. But I'm telling you, if they said yes, I would give up doing stand-up for a month and go work in a bake shop for sure. Wow. For sure. That is, first of all, I can only assume how much money you're making a month of stand-up.

You can probably hire those bakers to come and live with you for the opportunity cost, Tom. Yeah, but I want to go, I want to go see how, I want to go be told explicitly why I should never think of opening up a bakery. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? I will say I would never ever, it took any, any of my little imagination, like fantasies of like starting a restaurant. Yeah. It went out the door after working in a restaurant. Right.

And I no longer complained about the premium that I pay at a nicer restaurant because. everyone in the back where they were like these ohs they were so crazy OCD to the point where right now I have like a two day stubble I would get yelled at

like you gotta shave man you like shaving and really fingernails and like everything was so clean and sanitary and so this is pre-COVID yeah and it was like I was like oh I get it

this is this is worth the pre-man it's like knowing how much care they give to they would throw things out that were even slightly wilted like, you know, it was, it was cool to see. I was thinking about that the other day when I took out. I was, it was right before I was hitting the road and I was going to make dinner for the family. And I was going to make a salad.

I really wanted a salad. I took out this romaine. And sometimes, you know, you take out romayne and it doesn't look that great. You start peeling it and see like how much is good inside here. Like, do I have anything? And it was still like kind of questionable. I was like, no chef would ever cook with this. I'm like, what am I doing?

Just throw it out. Change up your ideas. Just be like, hey, guys, I made a Romaine Pestel. It's a new thing. Right. Just mash the hell out of it. It is amazing, like that other end. Like when you talk about, when you go to places and there's all that care and there's

just like, it's a whole other level and you can just feel it as soon as you walk in. And then when you think about being on the road, some of the places you've eaten that are so far on the other end of the spectrum, like it's like, well, of course we didn't get COVID because our bodies are stronger than anybody else is on the planet. Yeah. I remember I was in Boston once. I was in Boston very beginning of my career with Ian Bagg. Do you know Ian Bagg, the comedian?

Yes, yes. Great Canadian comedian. And we were at this horrible place in Boston. We had no money. It was like a bar restaurant afternoon for lunch, upstairs, pool tables. It was like some mafia thing was happening here. We just, and we thought this is where you get lunch. And he brings out, she brings out Ian's sandwich.

And it's like a sandwich with this like sad pickle next to it. And drops it in front of Ian. And Ian said, I, excuse me, this was supposed to come with fries. And she goes, oh no, honey. It comes with a pickle. And she literally stroked the pickle with her finger. It comes with a pickle. come on and walked away and of course he ate the pickle I kind of love it like there's times when

like a like a server can do something so extraordinarily crazily rude that you kind of just have to get on board with it like I remember I went to a restaurant with my dad and he ordered the wine and the wine comes and it was like something it was like a it was like a whatever 2004 and my dad ordered 2006 and my dad's like Excuse me, this is the 2006. And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry. And he took his pen out and he exed out the six and put a four and then put it back on the table. Oh, my.

The balls. We couldn't help but die laughing, though. It was so funny. It's so perfect. Oh, my God. Did you ever work in restaurants as a kid? No. No.

I never did. Which is probably why I don't have much empathy for bad service. Right. Yeah. You know, friends of mine who are like, who used to be servers, like they will, they have such a high tolerance for awful service. Like, everything is like, he's probably just having a bad day. It's like, he just hit on my fiance. Like, this is.

I know. But there is that thing. I did, I bus tables in high school. And it does give you a different perspective. You're like, all right, I know. Not only do I respect them for what they're doing. but I'm scared of what they'll do to me if I start stirring up shit. Right, right, right.

100%. I'm definitely very judgy of friends or dates that I go on and like how the people treat the servers, I think is a fantastic litmus test for what type of person there. Oh, 100%. 100%. It's like, well, what's this side of this person here? Yeah. Although I think I've bought.

boxed myself in with too many pet peeves where like... What do you mean? Just like, I don't know. Like, even like people... When someone has their phone on the table, I hate it. You should. You should hate that. It's like, yeah, like we're just waiting for the light to go off and then and then I lose you.

I lose your attention. I just need it. Yeah. I mean, you can keep talking, but I have options. Just know there's a ticking time. bomb on the table. Right. Go ahead. Bring up an interesting story or what you think is an interesting story. Yeah, exactly. I mean, and I have a friend who does it incessantly and now he just had, his wife just had a kid. And now that's his excuse. He's like, dude, but the kid, I'm like,

no, you did this before. Like, you can't now use the kid as your excuse for why the phone is, you know, on the table all the time. Yeah. So how do you, so you're single. Yeah. and you want to take someone out. Will you show them, kind of casually show them your knowledge by taking them to a really nice place? Or is it on a case-by-case basis? It's very tough, actually,

because it's like, I try not to, I don't know. Like, I'd like to go to like a nice place, but I also don't want to go to a place that I'm a regular at because if it's not a good date, then I introduced them to a great place. Right. And then they're going to start going there. And I don't want that to happen, you know?

I used to do this thing in New York where I'd go on a date and I would say, it was like a 7 o'clock date. And I'd be like, listen, I have a, just so you know, I have a 845 show at Carolines. So, you know, and it was like my thing. Because then, you know, you gauge the date. And if the date's going well, then you can say, you know, I just made that make that up just in case the date's not going well. but this is great, so let's hang out, and it's kind of fun. Or, you know, I'd say, okay, I got to go to my show. So once I left the date to go to my fake show, and my buddy calls me, and he was like, hey,

I'm at the corner of B-store. You want to get a burger? I was like, yeah, let's do it. So I go to the corner of B-stero, which was four blocks away from where our date was, and we're sitting there with a burger, and she walks in with her friends. And she's like, Dan? I'm like, hey, she's like, what happened to the show? I was like, ah, they canceled right away.

I was, yeah, I thought it would be rude to call you again. But yeah, they canceled the show. And so then, like, I sat like awkwardly at like the table next to her and her friends. Yeah. That's brutal. Oh, my God. It's amazing. Just that scene, like the truthful part of that of how many times I had to get up and leave restaurants to go do a spot in New York.

Right. Right. I mean, it sounds like you were definitely. You were interested in ending up in really good restaurants during the, during your, your climb through comedy in New York. And I, I,

I wasn't. I was like, yeah, I didn't, I really wasn't that knowledgeable about what was good at the time. But the, the dinners I would end up with, it would be because someone else suggested it.

And then I would have to go do a spot. And I'd always be like checking the clock and like running out to go get another spot. There's nothing less fun than doing a show when you have a, I'm sorry, having a nice dinner when you have a show after. Right. I hate it. It's, yeah, you can't relax. Because you're doing the, I mean, yeah.

You're like, okay, so if I get out of here at 8.30 and then I get to the train and then I get, yeah, there's no way. And I don't know about you, but I can't, I have like a no drink before shows policy. Me too. Yeah. So there goes my glass of wine with the dinner. which there's no point in having dinner. Why were we even here? Why did I say yes?

The problem is you probably did say yes and then a spot came along and you said yes to that because that is the one thing like we really, it's a sickness. You cannot stop doing spots. Yeah. And I thought it was going to change after this pandemic. I was like, now we'll have it in perspective. I'm already doing it to myself. I know.

I'm going to Texas tomorrow. for like three days. I'm so excited. Oh, that's great. We're here. I'm going to Austin, Corpus Christi, and San Antonio. Oh, nice. Yeah. I don't know if you know Brett Ernst. Yeah, yeah. But he and I are in Cobra Chi together. And so we're like the only two comics in Cobra Chi. So we started this tour called The Comics of Cobra Cuy. That's great. It's great. People love it because like they're just excited to meet people from the show. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's fun. Oh, that's awesome.

And are people turning up? Yeah, we did our first show in D.C. a couple of weeks ago, and it was pretty nuts. That's great. It's a good balance, too. You guys are, I can see that being a good combo. Well, we're extremely different. Yeah. We're very different people and comedians.

He's like, he's like, he's like a cartoonishly Italian, Italian. And with all that energy, just that. Yeah. But it's fun because our character. characters in the show are pretty similar to what we're like in real life where I'm like a little more pretentious and he's just like a loose can. So we each do stand up and then we both come on stage and just bust each other's balls for half an hour and people people seem to like it. Wow, good for you. That's great.

And where are you going after that? After that, I'm coming back to L.A. and not I'm not really, I think we're going to Colorado sometime in July, Colorado Springs. Yeah. And are you doing? Are you like, you're hitting the road like nuts, huh? I'm going to, yeah. Like I've got, I've got a couple clubs, like three or four clubs through July. And then it's really like September.

After I do Vegas, July 30th, that's when it's going to really start to tick up. And then it's going to be nuts till like March. Yeah. Yeah. How, I mean, with the, how does the family life in that balance? Um, good. It's good. You know, everybody, everybody's busy. Everybody's got their things. You know, it's, yeah, it's a little rough for, uh, for my wife to, if, if there's shifts in the dynamic, like right now we're dealing with, uh, a teenager that wants to go out till midnight. And then it's like, okay, so now it's who's picking her up? How are we doing this? What's the thing? And, uh, you know, and that's when I get calls with. Sorry, babe. I met this, uh, barbecue join. It's up. Exactly. I'm in South Carolina getting texts just like, I don't know, I guess make sure she doesn't drink. You know, so there's like those shifts, but then it kind of settles in. And I always thought of it when I was finding my way. It's like anybody I knew that was successful of like my friend's parents or whatever, most of them traveled. You know, businessmen, lawyers, whatever. It seemed like a lot of people were always on the move.

So I was like, well, it's probably good that your kids see that you work hard. That's probably a better lesson than me sitting there trying to impart wisdom that they're not listening to. Yeah, it's so true. My dad was traveling a ton when I was growing up and he was like selling Persian rugs. So at least we're not doing that. Wow. Really? He sold Persian rugs.

You must have had nice Persian rugs. Oh, I mean, it was overkill. It was too much. Really? It was like he used our house as like a place to store inventory. It wasn't very tastefully done. When you go to those Persian stores in New York where they're just like six feet high stacks of. Oh yeah. That was that was my dad's store. I was playing on top of those stacks. How, how, how, no, actually here's a better question. I was going to say how connected are you to your Persian culture, but even more than that. Are there high-end Persian restaurants? in Los Angeles.

Because whenever I think of Persian restaurants or any kind of Middle Eastern, it's always kind of like family, but a little more like, you know, it wouldn't say it's like high end. Yes. Persian food in America needs a moment

that it hasn't had yet. All of the food that you have in Persian restaurants are basically, it's like 3% of the canon of Persian food. Right. It's usually kebab heavy. There's a couple stews that are kind of afterthoughts. But like, real Persian cuisine is also, it's kind of a tough cuisine to grasp because it's not,

you know, how a lot of great food cultures come from like, we were poor. And, you know, like Italian food cultures, like, there was no money. So we had to make do with, you know, a one pig hoof and some onions. And then like, you come up with like, you know, a matriciana, like these wonderful things. Right. And it's like, in Persian culture, it wasn't really like that because they were like, you know, we are descendants of kings. So everything is like just lavish.

Like you feel like you're in Louis XIV's court, which is fun when you're at your grandma's house, but it's almost impossible to recreate yourself at home. Right. Like I had this moment of like Persian pride where I was like, man, I can cook Italian food, I can cook French food, I can cook all this. Why can't I cook Persian food?

I'm only going to try to cook Persian food. And I realize I can't cook Persian food because I don't have 17 hours free during the day to tend to something, which is what it takes. But I do think that Persian cuisine, the best way to describe Persian food to people who've never had it is it's like Indian food, but imagine the spice has been replaced with herbs. So it's super fragrant. It's very fresh.

It's exciting. But we don't have our David Chang. We still need a chef who is going to bridge those two worlds of like the new world and the old world. Yeah. So since we don't have that, all we have is the old world and then the old world being taking to restaurants, which is like, it's just they're all kind of cheesy, a lot of neon lighting. Yeah, yeah.

No, I totally get that. That's a great description, by the way. That is a perfect description. Yeah. I had a friend in New York. She was, her family was from Iran. And she would bring these rice dishes that were just, I literally had never tasted it before. I literally.

And it was that, yeah, that herbal thing, like this certain pop to it. Like your eye would say maybe this is going to taste like Indian food. And then, yeah, it's not. Yeah, that's a amazing kind of thing. Well, if your podcast and your Food Network show put you in a position, you could open the place, bring in the chef. Because you're right. I mean, all kidding, all kidding aside, when you know that there's something

so profoundly beautiful and delicious out there that hasn't really caught in the culture, it's going to come. Right, right. It's just a matter of when. I mean, there is one guy in New York who is starting to do stuff that kind of blew my mind. I haven't eaten his food yet. I've just seen it on Instagram, but he's doing very inventive things with Persian ingredients. Look, the other hard part is that Persian parents are super traditional, and they're very, like, you get yelled at if you do anything outside of the norm.

What do you mean? Like, just like, I mean, just from profession-wise, if you don't become a lawyer or a doctor or like an engineer, you're just like a complete failure piece of garbage. And like they just don't understand any other profession. Like my mom, when I called my mom to tell her that I got a show on the food network, which has been a career dream of. line. I'm like, mom, you're not going to believe it. They greenlit the show. It's going to be on. I just got a show on the food network. She goes, that's so cute. I was like, it's cute. What do you mean it's cute? Your cousin's a doctor. I got so pissed. I was like, I make more money than our stupid dermatologist cousin, okay?

That's hilarious. Oh, my God. But yeah, so, and the same goes. with ingredients. Sumac is a very big Persian ingredient and it's got a very citrusy like a desert citrus flavor to it which I think is really cool. So I was making guacamole once at my parents' house and I was like

I'm going to use sumac instead of the lime in this and she's like, are you stupid? What are you trying to do to the sumac? You have, you're wasting my sumac like just anything that steps or maybe it's just my mom is

is a mean carmudgy person. But it's like anything that steps outside of tradition is just so anathema to the culture. Yeah. So, I mean, it's going to take someone with a lot of balls to be able to do it. Maybe like someone who's like half Persian, half white or something. Right, right. Yeah. Is there is there is that even within the culture itself?

Like like the Italian equivalent is like sauce or gravy. And it's like no, it's sauce. No, it's gravy. And then you have like kind of these two camps. Is it? No, it's not as crazy as you guys. Italians are nuts when it comes to this. Like, you'll have a beautiful pause.

I'm like, that was garbage. Why? Because they used the olive oil from Abruza instead of the olive oil from, you know, Campania. I'm like, what do you just, can't you just enjoy it? Exactly. What are you doing? Yeah. Italians, Italians are just, it's like, I feel like everyone else is passionate about

food, but Italians are just like lunatics about food. I know, it really is. Like, just lunatics. Like, I went to this place. It was a pizzeria in Paris. And they said it was one of the best pizza places in Paris. And it was like, you know, this guy from Italy opened it up. And the waiter comes over and he's, and I was like, what's your favorite pizza?

And he's like, I don't, I don't eat the pizza here. And I was like, why not? He's like, they don't use the mozzarella from, you know, But mozzarella needs to be only one day after they make it, you eat it. This mozzarella, it's three days. I'm like, just eat the fucking pizza. No, it's like an offense. It's literally like, oh, how dare it.

It's repulsive. He literally was like, the only time I have it is if my mom overnights the mozzarella and I bring it to the restaurant, then I'll have the pizza. I'm like, man, you guys, like, pump the brakes a little bit. Is your mom still around? Yes. Is she still a good cook? She's fantastic.

Yeah. Yeah. She's an amazing cook. I mean, I love going to New York because she's, and she knows that that's the way to my heart. You know, she'll ask me for my orders before, you know. Oh, that's great. Arriving and it's awesome. That's great.

I can't cook with her. I can never cook with her. Why? Like, it's just, it's a nightmare to cook with her. Because she's so mean. She's so mean. And she just doesn't like, she just doesn't think that I'm good. Also, she's like, she doesn't splurge on like knives.

Like she has these awful like IKEA knives that were like in the as is section of IKEA. So like the handle is like an awful color that no one wanted to buy. It's like a teal handle on an awfully like a dull serrated knife that she's using as her chef's night. I'm like, mom, get a fucking good knife. What would she do if you gave her as a gift? Would she just be like, oh, that's cute but not use it? She would be so angry that I spent that much money on. She hates when I spend money on her.

Really? She just hates it. Like she abhors it. That's hilarious. She's got to be an amazing cook. She sounds like a great personality. She is. She's an amazing cook.

Absolutely. So when you were talking earlier, I was actually thinking about, up this as a as a bit. By the way, she also has a lot of money. Like, she just likes to play, like, poor person cosplay. Right. Like, mom. It's adorable.

Like, literally during the pandemic where I was like, you can't leave the house, she like, I call her and she's on the, and I'm ordering everything from Amazon or from, you know, Whole Foods to the house. And I call her and I hear like, this is before she gets the vaccine. I hear like a beep in the background. mom where are you she's like i nowhere why i'm like i hear a beep mom where are you she's like i came to the supermarket i'm like why she's like there was a coupon for lacroix water and it says 325 instead of 425 so she drove like to a supermarket 25 minutes away during cove i was like

mom i'll order you the lecroy no i don't want she's frugal they called that generation called it frugal you all her her her stock portfolios going through the roof. Right. It's amazing. When you were talking earlier about the foodie culture and that kind of a thing,

how comedians weren't really into that kind of thing, I think it's literally because of the word foodie. It's an awful word. Isn't it a terrible word? It's an awful word. There's got to be something cooler. Like we have similar passions for really nice wine, for really good food. You're really

kind of educating yourself, really want to pick out and try and find the best things that you can possibly find. These things shouldn't be captured in the term foodie. It's an awful word. I do a bit about how it's just like, it's such a pretentious word. Like if you want to see how pretentious it is, try explaining what it means to someone from our third world country. It's like, Oh, I'm a foodie. What does that mean? Yeah, I really, really, really, really like food. Oh, I also really, really, really like food.

I'm also a foodie. No, no, you don't understand. It's like, but it's true. We do need a new word. It's like, I don't know. And like a gour, it's not quite a gourmand is just as bad. Yeah. And that, like, that elicits like, I feel like you need gout to be like a gourmand.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, just swimming. and butter. Butter up to your neck. Animal fat. Yeah, but there's that thing. Maybe that's our, that's our mission. We have to come up with it.

Yeah. You know, like, do you ever read Jim Harrison? Do you know Jim Harrison? He was an author. He wrote, he wrote a ton of, he wrote a really big lunch is a collection of essays from Esquire where he would. Yes, right. Yeah, he was the food writer at Esquire.

Yeah, and he's just like this gregarious, bigger than life character, and he just ate and drank and smoked and everything was big and just his insatiable appetite. He was just, and he also like hunted in Michigan. He was like a man's man kind of a guy who, who loved all that stuff to excess. Like, you could not call that guy a foodie. Right. He'd punch you in the nose. but he's so much more passionate and more knowledgeable than anybody that would say they're a foodie. Right, right.

I'm trying to think like what would you call him? You would probably just say hungry. Yeah. I don't know. It's almost like some sort of like anything I think of sounds really pretentious, but like a culinary explorer. Like I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

So I also hunt and literally I got into hunting just because of food. Really? And I'm not, you know, for those of you listening, you can probably tell by the inflections in my voice, I'm not the most manly of men. But I do, you know, I love the, you know, for lack of a better word, but like the hunt for like new flavors that I've never tried. And, you know, there's nothing more free range and organic than, you know, an elk that's never seen a human before. Yeah, yeah. So when, what was your first, what was your first hunting? trip. How'd you do that? I went with my buddy Moe, who's a big hunter, who was one of my roommates

in college, who weirdly enough is an Iraqi Muslim, and I'm an Iranian Jew, so two of the most opposite political-minded people just like coming together to kill animals. But he went, the first time I went hunting was goose hunting, and it was in Long Island, of all places. Just at like a public park? I mean, it wasn't so far off. Like, there's like in Suffolk County, there's like public, there's, there's hunting grounds that are, you know, Long Island's like a pretty dense place. So you're not, it's not how you imagine. Like, you're not like out in the middle of the woods.

Like, you're on like a sandbar somewhere and waiting for the geese to come in. But you can hear like, and you can hear like the LIE in the background. Like you can hear like an ice cream truck like in the. planes coming in for a landing. So it wasn't like a romantic Davy Crockett experience or anything. Yeah. But it was, I killed a goose and it was just the most traumatic experience that I've ever gone through. It was just awful.

Really? Yeah, it was really bad because I don't know. Like I imagine that it was going to be like duck hunt. Like you shoot it and wherever you shoot, it's just going to fall and be dead. Uh-huh. And it's just not like that. I mean, unless you're a great shot. But yeah, it was named.

And my friend went and grabbed it and like did the twisty thing. I mean, it was just, it was god awful. Oh, man. But you get used to it. And I got, I kept doing it and got into it. And yeah, now every year, like, I'll fill up the freezer, basically. Really? Yeah.

With elk? I went to elk hunting this last October. So, but usually, like, I'll go. My buddy's got like a, like, he's got like a plot of land in upstate New York and I'll go deer hunting once a year. Yeah. That's great. And how do you, how do you, what's your favorite way of preparing venison? Honestly, the loin itself, which is basically, they call it the backstrap, which is, but it's basically the filet.

And I like to cook it like a steak-o-poix, basically, like a, you know, just like a, like a black pepper cream sauce. Wow. And it's delicious. And it needs to be cooked super rare. there's no fat in it. It's very, very lean. Also, tartar. It makes the best tartars.

Really? Yeah, it's awesome. Joe Rogan gave me a whole bunch of his elk. Oh, really? Yeah. That's right. Weren't you, like, just on? I was.

I was on this last week. And he, it's that, yeah, there's no fat. There's, like, no fat in this meat. And I was asking about, like, what to do with all this chop meat. because there's all this chop stuff. And he said, just add fat to it, add butter, like almost shave butter and mix it in. Like if you were to try to make it into a burger kind of a consistency. Yeah, you could do butter.

You could cut it with some ground pork or some, or as the Italian in you, get some guantzale. Oh, yeah. Chop that up real small and put it in there. Yeah, that's smart. But I, this is another place, though, of my two worlds colliding that are like, you know, a lot of hunters aren't foodies, for lack of a better word. So it's like, and a lot of them don't, like, I've eaten, I've befriended a bunch of hunters and we'll go eat it at their houses.

And they don't know how to cook the game. They don't know how to prepare it. Right. And so it tastes awful. Like, if you don't get it right on game, it's really bad. And I'm like, how do you guys eat this stuff? And they're like, oh, Dan's being the pretentious foodie guy. I'm like, let me cook it for you.

And then I'll cook it. And they'll be like, oh, my God. This is a lot better than I thought. Right. Exactly. You just suffer through it. I have a friend, my friend Ryan's a great chef. And he was telling me, if you're cooking game, Chimituri, which is parsley, basically parsley,

olive oil and garlic and a lot of salt, more salt than you think. And man, you just make a whole bunch of it. And then you can kind of keep it in the fridge and serve it with whatever. And with wild game, he really was right. It changed everything. I was like, oh, man, this is what a pop. It just brought out all the flavor. Yes.

And there is a little bit of funk to every game. So you need, I think, a strong flavor to pair with it. And Chimmy Churie. Man, those Argentinians know what they're doing with steak, you know? Yeah, God. That, Chimmy Churie is like my go-to. And it's so easy to make. It is.

It's really easiest. I know. And then ever since he told me that, every time the impression of me coming back from every trip to the supermarket is, oh, parsley. It's like you should just always have a ton of parsley in the house. Yeah. It's honestly, if I have any greens that are going, that are starting to go bad, I'll make either a bootleg chimituri or a bootleg pesto.

Oh, really? Yeah, always. And it's a great way to give things a second life. Oh, that's clever. So like with what? Like with like, you mean like with old basil or any, little basil, even arugula, like an arugula pesto you can do. Yeah.

I mean, basically, they're both just different versions of like herb sauces, right? Right. Once you're mixing it with some vinegar and some olive oil, you're basically pickling it. So it's preserving. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Wow, very clever. Very clever.

Yeah. All right. So these are fun things I can't normally talk about on comedy podcasts, so. I know, right, exactly. We could just talk about it for days. Oh, I love it. You're my kindred spirit, Tom. Likewise.

Are there any places I should try in Los Angeles that I might not know about? Yes. You know, a place that I plug a lot is this place, Nambon Khan. I don't know if you've heard of it. It is a Yakutori place, and Yakutori is basically, it's like Japanese kebabs. Okay. best way to describe it. But they're like very small kebabs.

And it's usually chicken is the main, you know, ingredient there, which might sound boring. But they, the things they do with this poor chicken, they get pieces and parts of it that are just like, you know, they'll have a skewer of like just like crispy chicken skin or like a skewer of like, like, if you're into awful, like they'll have like liver or, you know, just like this one part of dark meat, like a little circle of it that. They just like put them together. So it looks like almost olives on a stick.

And it's cooked with this like very, very expensive, hard-to-fine charcoal called Bitochan. Sounds like Bitcoin kind of. Right. And this place does it so well and so authentic and it's not that expensive. And you walk in and you just feel like you're in Tokyo. Really? What's the name of it again? It's called Nanbancan.

I'll text you the name later. It's in the west side. But yeah, like during the pandemic, like I was like, man, there were two things I was worried about. I was like, I hope my parents don't die of COVID. Right. And I hope Nambon Khan doesn't close. Oh, this is perfect. This is perfect.

I'm going to go this week. Yeah, it's great. It's a really awesome place. Yeah, if we're in town together, I will take you. You can be my guest. Yeah, I would love it. I would love it. And if you tell me that you have a spot at the improv at 845,

I'll know what your expectations are. Oh man, water with Yakutori just sounds awful. It's made to have with beer. Like it's a right. I know. It's really funny. I think comedy is the thing that stopped me from being an alcoholic. It was like because of that rule I don't drink before a thing.

It just cut down on the drinking. And then when all the gigs went away, it was like, well, game on. Totally. Well, thanks so much, Dan. this was really great. And I think we're going to do a lot of these. I think we should, we should check in from time to time for sure. I appreciate it. Thank you, Tom. It's such a pleasure, as always. All right, man. I'll see you soon. All right, man. Bye. So there you go. That was Dan. Right? Come on. This guy loves food. We are, we, oh, between our, between our love of food and

wine, we could easily end up with problems. What a good guy. All right. Now, It's time for a quick bite with Ali Colbert. I called her from Portland when I was on my journey, and we have a very funny conversation. You were going to love her. She didn't realize she was on the podcast at first, which is hilarious. And so you get the real Allie Colbert, which is always, she's always real. As soon as she finds out, it's the same, Allie. I love her to death.

You will too. Enjoy a quick bite with Allie Colbert. Hello. How's it going? I'm good. How are you? Are you in L.A.? I'm in Portland. Ah, cool. I know. I'm trying to be really cool. I'm walking around

pretending like I know where all the cool coffee shops are. I've never been, but I've heard great things. I think you would do well here. I've got to go. I've got to make a lot. I actually picture you. being more comfortable in Portland than in your new home of Los Angeles. Oh, really? Okay. Maybe I'll head out there. It's a little more cynical up here.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's really good. How is it going in L.A.? I've been trying to figure out, you know, you have a, I'd say, a snarky New York attitude, and now you're in the land of sunshine. Yeah, I mean, it's been good. I've been getting acclimated to the comedy scene here. Mm-hmm. And just trying to figure out the lay of the land. But it's nice to be here, and it's nice to have good weather, and to kind of take a break from New York City for a little bit.

Yeah. A lot of people started to burn out a little bit there in New York. Yeah, I felt that way. certainly so it's been nice to be here so what so if you surprised yourself are you like rollerblading or did you find yourself like taking trapeze classes anything that like all of a sudden you're like wait a minute who am i yeah definitely i've been well i've been going on a lot more hikes i'm already way healthier i'm like not having like white cane sugar i like spend way too much money at air one like i'm eating all this gluten-free stuff.

Every week I think I might be vegan. It just like happens to you. It's like slowly, but then you won't even see it happening. Do you feel better eating that way? Yeah, I feel better. It's just, it's everyone around you is doing it. So it's easy to fall into doing it. It's not even a choice.

It just happened to me. Yeah, it's like you go to a party and you're like, oh, there's just vegan snacks. I guess that's what I am now. Yeah, totally, totally. It's really exactly that. When I bake my bread and everyone's like, well, how does that work in Los Angeles? Like, nobody eats bread. It's like, well, they don't when they're out and making a stance, but on their own, it's like the, it's like the person who really has like Ben and Jerry's hidden behind the veggie burgers.

Yeah, totally. Yeah. They snap and then just go insane. Yeah, exactly, exactly. How long are you been in Portland? I'm going to be here till tomorrow. I've got two more shows tonight and then fly back for Father's Day. Oh, yeah, you're a dad.

Yeah, I'm a dad. That's nice. This is how cool a dad I am. I don't get home until three in the afternoon, so everyone's off the hook. Oh, I'm sure they'll celebrate you tomorrow night Yeah, it should be okay It should be good Cool

So tell me about your new podcast I hear that you were This is perfect So yeah I mean I started this podcast I'm trying to incorporate a lot of the Q&As On

Wait, we're not recording something for you right now In this moment are we? Oh yeah, we've been recording Are you interviewing me for your podcast? Yes, you're on the podcast right now. Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't know if you were going to have me do like a sketch or something.

Oh, no. I'm a guest on your podcast right now? You're a guest right now on the podcast. You have been the whole time. All right. I just learned that. What did you think I meant when I said I have to hook up the record thing? I thought that you were going to, like, call me and then, like, have me do, like, some bit on your podcast.

No, I want you to do the regular, I want you to be the lead guest on the podcast soon, and I figured, well, we'd do the Quick Bite version where I just get to talk to you from the road for a minute. Oh, okay, cool, yeah. I definitely, I didn't know how I was going to know about your podcast. Yeah, I thought we were just catching up on the phone. Yeah, that is what we're doing, but other people get to hear it. Oh, okay. Yeah, so the Allie Colbert Show podcast is basically, like, a place to kind of couch the Q&A's and the, like, confession videos that I was doing on Instagram because they were so fun.

And I wanted time to, like, respond to them in a more, like, lengthy, meaningful way. And also to be able to, like, kind of go off into my own stories and things that they, they remind me of. So we've been doing some of that. But I have found that people are more hesitant to leave a voicemail than they are to just write in a really long message. I think they find the voicemails to be intimidating. Oh, that's okay. You can just read them, right? Right.

So I'm sort of figuring out the rhythm there. And I just think podcasting in general is like, you just have to get into the flow of it. Like I'm not totally familiar with like owning that format and being in like such, I don't know, it's different than other things I've done. So I'm still getting used to how to work it. Yeah. I could see that being a little bit of a thing. But you're so funny when you do your Instagram responses to people's,

questions. It's so funny. I mean, I can only imagine that that would translate to the podcast very nicely. Oh, thank you. So I've been doing that. What's funny to me, too, about your responses is they're very funny. There are no

bullshit responses to people's like kind of whiny questions about whatever. And you're actually very on point. Like you really are just like, no break up with that guy immediately and it's like yeah that makes perfect sense thank you i yeah i feel like um the advice is oftentimes good advice sometimes it's a little misguided but yeah i definitely

think that um a lot of the time it's on the money even if it's like harsh with the delivery um that's another thing though that i feel like L.A. has like helped me with it's just like there's all of these like coaches and like wellness leaders and they're giving they give like such thoughtful advice but it's not ever as severe as it should be but i'm kind of taking a note from i look at the people that do the life coaching and the wellness thing a lot like uh the guys who decides to clean pools it's like i don't really want to really work but this is pretty easy to start You think that cleaning pools is like an easy entryway job? Yeah, I feel like I don't have to deal with a boss.

I just got to get some equipment and go skim a couple places and I'll be good. And that's what you think of as life coaching. Yeah, I feel like we could literally hang up right now and I could announce I'm a life coach now and it's and I am. Right. Yeah, I mean, every person, you meet people here who their life is in shambles and they're a life coach. Right. I mean, I met a girl here. She's an aspiring model.

She lived with her mother like an hour outside of the city and she is a life coach. And I was like, why are you living with your mom? She's like, I lost my house. I'm like, you're not in a position to be advising others. Right, exactly. That's so weird. I know. People, their life is a complete disaster.

And they're like, also how can you be a, yeah, sorry. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, but I can help you. Right. I'm like, how can you be a life coach when you're like, first of all, these life coaches are like 24.

I'm like, wait until you really get into life. Yeah, exactly. It's like you have no experience. Yeah, no, a life coach, you should not be able to be, call yourself a life coach, unless you're older than 60. Yeah, I would agree with that. Yeah, you've got to be at least 60. Yeah.

Well, we've got to get together. I don't like that, I mean, now that things have opened up in California, it's a lot easier, but we haven't, you've been there a little bit, and we haven't seen each other. That has to change. Yeah, when you come back, we got to, I mean, I don't know, you're only back for a little spurt, right? and then you're always flying away to your second family.

That's true. And I can give you a life coach consultation on how to have multiple families around the United States. I'm like, Tom Papa does it right. Yeah, I would love to see you when you're in L.A. and you have a minute. It would make my week. All right, that would be great.

And you'll have to come on to the podcast in person and we can sit and break bread together and eat all the things that you're not allowed to eat with your new friends. That would be amazing and you'll have to come online and we can respond to the questions that you go right in with, which will be fun. Perfect, perfect. All right, All right, All right, Alie, take care of yourself. All right, Tom, enjoy Portland. All right, love you. Love you, bye.

Bye. Okay, everybody, that's our big show. Thank you so much for listening. Of course, subscribe and like and tell everyone. everybody that you love listening to this podcast, spread the word. It was so much fun to be in Portland and have people come up after the show and say that they are fans of the podcast and they listen all the time. It always warms my heart. Thank you all for listening and we will see you next time. Enjoy your day.