Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 61 - Lara Beitz

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

Lara Beitz is a truly original comedian who I immediately had to break bread with. You are going to love meeting her and we try not to chew too loudly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's our goal. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for joining us at the table once again.

So nice to be in the studio. Today we have a great one with a very funny comedian, Lara Bites. It's L-A-R-A-B-E-I-T-Z. And sometimes I want to mispronounce it. I want to say a whole bunch of things. She's so damn funny. I literally just ran into her at the comedy store recently and saw her for the first time, and I'm quickly going to make her my friend.

She's just one of the funniest people I've seen in a long, long time, and she is going to join us here at the table. is very, very exciting. I've been doing a lot of baking recently, a ton of baking. My good friends at Central Mill, Central Milling, where I get all of my flour in Utah, they sent me a whole bunch of flour that, frankly, I have to get through because my wife might leave me. I love this flour.

It's what I make all of my bread with. And they sent me a whole bunch and stuff that I haven't used before. I'm sitting probably on 200 pounds of flour right now. And with a little note saying, Tom, enjoy experimenting, have fun baking, your friends at Central Milling, and I took them up on it, and I've been doing it. And I have to say, I have finally, I mean, it's been years, years, and not hard years, but years of searching and trying and baking. and I always love this certain kind of a bread.

It's a little darker crust and it has this little tangy, little after taste to it. Not like a sourdough that knocks you in the face. You know, like the older sourdows from San Francisco, like that real tang. Great, love them. But that's not really what I've been after.

I wanted it to have a. hint of that, but also have a little bit more of an earthy flavor to it. And it's tough. I just haven't been able to really, really nail it. And I found, you know, I read, read and reread. It's so much like comedy, this baking stuff, because you literally have to learn and relearn the lessons that you know and you've heard over and over and over again. And because there's so much to it. They're so complex. There's so many different ways that you can go and do things that you actually have to just constantly reread or in comedies. In the comedy department, you have to retry and have conversations with other comedians over and over and over again.

It's really fascinating. So anyway, I found a little part of the book by Ken Forkish, flour, water, salt, and yeast. And he's great. He's been on the podcast. I actually went to Portland. and met with him at Ken's Artisan Pizza Place. And he's an amazing guy, an amazing baker. And I'm actually going to take him up on an act,

because I have some questions off of this. But anyway, I found this overnight country brown. And it's all-purpose and it's whole wheat. But the thing is, you have like a 12 to 15-hour fermentation, which means when you mix the dough, you're basically letting it ferment for 15 hours. normally when I'm doing it I'm going three to four hours and I've only thought of that in the terms of well it has to rise and it gives you structure and it and that makes your bread this is about seeking more

flavor and he literally was spelling out in the pages of that book that I've had for a long time let this ferment for 15 hours and you're going to get that taste that I was describing before and I didn't and now I've done it I've read replicated it three times, and I'm so excited. And my family is looking at me like, all right, we get it. You're excited about the bread. I'm like, no, I just, I know I've been giving this to you for six years straight, but try this. And these are, I would have to call my family bread connoisseurs at this point. Not that they signed up for it, not that they asked for it, but because I force it on them. And all of them said, this is the bread that you should make from now on. How about that?

So I'm super excited. And thank you to my friends at Central Milling for sending it along because this is now, it's, now I'm excited. It's kind of like getting a new joke. And you're like, oh, now I'm excited to go out to the clubs again. This is now I'm excited to get back home and bake it again. And I'm bringing it off to my neighbors who, everybody in my life who gets the bread. I literally dropped some off at my buddy Steve's and he responded, best one yet, what are you doing over there? So we're on to something. This is very exciting. It's actually gotten so exciting that I actually want to share it with more people. So I'm trying to come up with a way that I can do that. Hmm. Hey, in Las Vegas, I will be performing at the Encore Theater at the

Wynn Hotel on July 30th. July 30th. July 3rd. 30th, big show, big showroom at the win. Very excited. It actually reminded me because somebody actually said, I just said actually 12 times, that asked, will I be bringing bread to Las Vegas? That's a good way to share it. Two lobes of bread at every theater show. And then you give them out at the end. Maybe baby steps. And then we'll get into the whole bakery business later on. Lara Bites is a great personality, a really fun person, and a great joke writer. She's so much fun to watch. She's going to become present in all comedy fans' minds because she's that good. And she's taking, people have noticed her. Everybody who works at

the comedy store has taken notice. I saw David Spade put her. I saw David Spade put her. her on his show. I saw Rogan had her on and it just makes sense. Real established people who really know comedy and have seen a ton of it. When they see Lara, they know, okay, this is another one. This is going to be someone that's going to be telling jokes for a long time and having hopefully a great career. And I got to sit down with her. She's amazing. She's super fun. And what a great way. this is why we do this podcast. So you actually sit down and actually learn more about them than I would in years of just knocking around at the comedy clubs and seeing each other once in a while. This is a great interview.

I hope you enjoy it. And please welcome Laramites. So I brought you only protein snacks. That's wonderful. Thank you so much. You're welcome. And Pellegrino. Cheers. Cheers.

We had to have a little Italian flair. Yeah. Thank you so much for being. being here. I'm truly, truly excited. Thank you for having me. Really. I don't know why I didn't run into you earlier. I think that we were in a pandemic and just doing different spots. I don't know. Yeah, but I just for the last, I don't know, there was like a month where I was just running into you several times a week and you just make me laugh. And it's so great when you just see somebody you haven't seen before and they're just so damn funny.

and you're just so excited to, like, know that they're going to be in your orbit for a long time. And so this is really, I'm so happy that you came today. This is really great. Yeah, I feel the same way. It's, uh, your jokes are so funny. It's just, you're just very surprising and really funny. And how long have you been at the store? Um, I got passed as a paid regular seven months before COVID.

Oh, okay. So that makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense why maybe we weren't running into each other. Seven months before COVID. Well, good for you.

And then you didn't get to do spots for 14 months. Yeah. Yeah. I finally went full time as a stand-up comedian and then stand-up ended. And I was like, okay. So you must have thought that you were responsible for the whole thing. I mean, it felt like a sign of something, you know. I quit my day job and then the whole industry shut down.

Oh, God. It's hard not to make those things. personal. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm just so happy that stuff is like actually going back to how it was. Yeah. It seems like it's it's it's like not missing a beat. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like I'm starting to stress about going on the road and selling tickets and everything's back. Yeah. It felt like it happened slowly and then all at once. So where did you start comedy? I, uh, I started in Milwaukee. I did three years in Milwaukee.

Okay. And then three in Chicago. And then I've been out here for five, six. I don't even know. It's always longer. Yeah. So what do we, do we count COVID as a year? Or do we not?

I'm trying to add up. I'm like, has it? I feel like I've been having to tack a year on to numbers. But I want to say it's five. Yeah, because it was 2016. Right. I added a year just because I'm like, I was afraid I was missing a year. Yeah.

But we should be subtracting a year at this point. Yeah. Right? It should be, no, I've only been doing this for X amount of years. Yeah, I think it should be, I think it should be whatever feels right in this situation. Right. Just make it up as you go along. Yeah.

Like, it should be able to count double if you're a comedian and you want to be saying, if you want to say that you've like been doing it more time than you actually have. Yeah. I think that that's fair. Yeah. There is a great advantage when you're starting, when you're just starting to like, do it like in a real way and being the new person. Everyone's like, oh my God, you've only been doing it for five years.

And then quickly you're no longer the rookie. And you're like, oh, then it's, I should be upping it and letting people think I'm really a veteran now. Yeah. Yeah, I think that is like a tricky pocket, the pocket between new and ready. Yeah. The pocket between like three and ten years, which that's, or maybe five in ten years. Yeah.

Because three, I mean, that's like too big of a pocket. But yeah, that in between stage. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's true. It's, uh, yeah. I loved that moment when you're like, people raise their eyes like, oh, we've only been doing it for four years.

Wow. Okay, good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty good, right? Yeah. And then quickly you're like, I've been doing it 16 years. Yeah.

So Milwaukee? Mm-hmm. Why did you start? I mean, I always wanted to be a comedian more than anything else in the world. Yeah, I would like, as like a little kid, I would sit on my bathroom sink and give myself interviews as like David Letterman and Jay Leno into my bathroom mirror. And I just loved stand up, but I didn't think that that was something that I could actually do. Yeah. I'm from Milwaukee.

Right. But then as an adult, I had a friend who was like doing open mics and competitions and he was, he seemed like he was doing well. So I went and watched him at an open mic and I was like, oh, I could definitely do that. And so I did. Really? Yeah. Was when you said you could definitely do it, was it because he wasn't that great or it just took the fear of the unknown away? It was just, it made it so much like smaller and more tangible to where it was like, oh,

I'm in this bar. Like I can come to this bar and these are just like normal people and they're all just doing five minutes and they're not all like killers. Right. It's just people trying to tell jokes. It's just people trying to get good at doing standup, trying to make people laugh. And I'm like, well, I can write five minutes of something and try to make people laugh. Right.

So were you, so from the time you were a kid thinking about it and then were you writing at all? Did you have jokes in your head at all, like in any form? Yeah, I was in a, I was in a band, and I was in a hip-hop band and I wrote funny raps, which is like not something I would do today. It was like in college. It was a long time ago. Were you good? I mean, no, but I had a good time. Did you write good lines, though? I bet you had good raps. I thought I wrote some. Is that the right thing to say? Good raps. Yeah. Yeah. I had fun. And it was my first taste of like being on stage and people laughing at something I said. Right. Which was always like my favorite thing. From the time I was like a tiny kid, I've always, if I could say something at school that would make the other kids laugh, then I would be going to

sleep at night and I would just like replay it in my head like replay the laugh. And I caught myself doing the exact same thing the other day, just like something I said in conversation that made people laugh. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I still do that. It's true, though, but it's intoxicating. That thing is powerful when you're little like, and then when you do it like calculated for the first time wherever you do it, maybe it was doing in that band, like when you actually premeditate, write it, use it, it works. Oh, no. Now you've unlocked something, right? Now it's like, oh, maybe I can control this and I can use this.

That's a powerful moment. I did it at my cousin's rehearsal dinner way before I was a comic. And I told this joke in a joke structure and it worked. And the same thing. I couldn't even go to sleep that night. I was just like, I made that room full of people laugh with this, with that line. It was,

huh. Yeah. Yeah, now that you mention it, yeah, I made a speech at my sister's wedding and I had the same experience where I made people laugh and then kept going over it

in my head again and again. Yeah. And yeah, that's all it took it, like that first open mic. I mean, obviously all my jokes didn't hit. It was the first time ever doing it, but I had enough people laugh at things that I got like a taste of that.

Yeah. drug and just never stopped needing more. Yeah. There is such funny writing in rap. There is, do you ever, do you listen to it? Do you still listen to? I mean, I listen to, I listen to some. Some.

There's a young artist, Hobo Johnson. So funny. I mean, just like quick and just, and I heard someone last night on KCRW driving home and I took a picture of it. I knew I wouldn't remember it and I'm not remembering it. But the lines were so funny. And like it just came out. Like it was just about, it was like a comic.

Like it was really relevant stuff that just happened. And man, they're just so quick, such good writing. I think maybe you should go back to it. Yeah. Do you think I should go back to it? I should pursue my rap career. You think I gave up too soon? Yeah.

I think you could be, I would like to see it. Well, I really did like start doing stand-up and then stop doing music. I mean, pretty much just like shifted. Yeah. Yeah. So you were, so were your, when you were young and funny and had these little inklings in your head, was your family an audience? Were your parents? Oh.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But not in the, I was like trying to cheer everybody up. Uh-huh. I was trying to cheer everybody up. And there are stories of me like as a baby. Like I would, I would.

on a bunch of different hats. I would like go to the closet and come back wearing a hat. And things were always really like tense in my house. When everyone was home, I just remember everything being really on edge and very precarious. Was there something heavy going on or was just normal family stuff? Like dysfunctional messed up family stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. my, yeah, my dad was an alcoholic and then ended up like going to jail. And it was, and I mean, he's since passed away, but it was really heavy. Yeah. And eventually my parents got a divorce. It was just like a lot going on. So when it was really heavy, what age were you?

It pretty much like crescendoed. And then he moved out when I was 12. and then went to I think the divorce was finalized Andy went to jail all within like a few months Wow So like from 12 to 13 Yeah

Yeah Yeah 12 to 13 that's heavy Yeah alcoholism is progressive So it just like gets worse and worse Yeah It just It seems like it gets exponentially worse

Like it can be manageable for years Where it's just like Oh he loses his temper And then it just I mean it overtook her family. It is such a sneaky, sneaky thing. And I don't know why, but in my head I always equated to, because it's liquid,

it's the same thing as like the sneakiness of someone drowning. Like a lot of times when people drown, it's silent because they've just dipped under, like it almost just takes you. And whenever I hear stories about the sneakiness of how people just start drinking socially and then it's a couple and then like you said they lose their temperature their temper it's that same sneakiness that seem liquid sneakiness and all of a sudden they're drowning yeah god that must have been heavy at 12 13 so you're just trying to like keep everybody up yeah trying to keep people in a good mood i mean like my safety depended on my dad's mood the safety of my family

depended on my dad's mood. And so I was trying to ease the tension. But it's interesting. And I know a lot of like people who come from troubled homes who have this and let me know if like you relate to this. So anytime I would like get in trouble or if someone would say something like horrible, I laugh at it. And it's the wrong response.

But it's just like when things would get really. So he would be like screaming at us and I would not be able to keep. from like laughing just because I was scared. But that made it so much worse because I mean, what makes you matter than someone laughing when you're furious? Right, right. Would it ever diffuse them? No.

No. It would make them more. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. No, I do have that thing. I don't, not to the degree of the story you're telling.

But my, my, my dad was like a big disciplinary. presence, like, and it was probably bigger in my sensitive head even than, and then he was, but it was, I was always trying, I was, I was wanting to diffuse all the time. And, and I think the way I laugh now is, as a result of that, like, people will think that I'm fake laughing. And I might have, I was always like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, if they're, they're yelling at each other or something's happening or like, he's, he's going to be angry. Ha, ha. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I mean, that like makes sense because if your brain develops in a crisis state, it affects your brain development. And so it makes sense that you would have a scared laugh if you developed as a scared person.

Yeah. It's so weird because that would be a criticism. I would get when I would host things on TV or whatever it would be. I would always wait for it. And someone would say, he laughs too much. And maybe because now I'm in a stressful situation and I want to make sure that the interview goes well or whatever's happening. So, right? It's the same thing. It's the same thing. I'm trying to push it. Well, and it's so funny because, like, people really will reach for something to complain about. I mean, what a ridiculous complaint to have of someone who's hosting something. And it's funny because, like, if it does come from you being nervous, no wonder. Because you're being watched by the kind of people who will say you laughed too much while. hosting on TV. Like, how could you not, the expectations of us are just ludicrous.

And I'm fine with it because the payoff is so great. Like, that's just, it comes with the territory. Right. Yeah. But like, that's ridiculous. It is ridiculous. He seemed nervous. Well, right.

Because of you. Why is he still? Why is he laughing? And I was like, I'm really laughing. I just like things that are funny. And I actually got us all to a place where we should, there's some joy here. Yeah. It's just your genuine laugh enjoying yourself. That's so funny. I know. So are you able to kind of calibrate in your head criticism and that kind of thing?

Yeah. You are? Yeah. I mean, I've learned about myself that like I don't have, I've learned just how sensitive I am. and so now I have like things in place to protect myself. So like after after I did Rogan, my friend Jessica Michelle Singleton offered to log into my social media as me and just delete anyone who sent me like a mean message, anyone who left a mean comment and just block them. Right. Just remove them from my orbit. Yeah. And she did.

And so I went in and all I had were DM. that were people like, you inspired me. You're so funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like new actual fans. And I knew I needed that when she offered it because after I did Lights Out with David Spade, I read the YouTube comments.

Uh-huh. And I'll never do it again. I mean, people on YouTube are like a level of mean that I don't think they are. Maybe Reddit, but I don't go on Reddit anyway. Isn't it crazy that YouTube's more mean than Twitter? which is already like a cesspool. It's for that. For that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was, and it was stuff. It was like I knew what they were going to say because the things that people make fun of, they're not reinventing the wheel. They were like, she's fat, she's ugly. She looks like a man, you know?

But yet they like found ways to say those things where I was like, oh, it really affected me. It's so gross. And it really. And it's. It's, it's, there is nobody, there is nobody, nobody that is impervious to a nasty comment like that. People that have been in the business forever, Joe included, it's like, you, it affects you. It cannot, no one's, you has to be managed in some way in your own head for when you do see it or like having your friend go through and, and call them without it. But it's, um, it really depends on.

who you are that day, like how you can take it. But man, eliminating it and not seeing it at all, I've been doing this pretty clever thing where on Instagram and like you, I love being a part of the conversation. I like seeing it and hearing and whatever. And like if I have, like when my special came out,

you know, you're so nervous about it. hitting and then when it does like you start to get an idea like oh people are really liking this this is it's respected it's okay and then i'll start like maybe i can look at a couple maybe oh okay and then there's like and it's like but it had to be so overwhelmingly positive of a result for me to even like take a look but back to the clever thing on instagram you know follow all these people but there are some people that i would see their posts and for whatever reason it was making me unhappy. Yeah. It was just like, I don't, I just don't want to see this person going off anymore. I just don't want to. And I've just muted, you know, so they don't know,

right? So you can just mute so you don't see them. And it's now been several months since I started this little program where whatever it is, if I just see something that just makes me feel gross, it has cleared the air in a very profound way. Like someone brought up. Someone brought up. up one of the people that I had muted and they're like, can you believe what he's done? Totally unaware of it. Yeah. They were literally no longer apart. They're no longer the billboard on my ride to work every day.

Yeah. Yeah. Powerful. Yeah. I do the same thing. And it's such a game changer. Right? Because even if even those accounts where it's like, and I'll have these on Facebook,

people where I didn't mute them because it's like a train wreck where I'm like, I love it. Right. I realized I actually really don't love it. I feel much better when I don't see it. Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, it really is amazing just how much people feel comfortable saying. I mean, these like, like, I'm talking about, like, the pages long.

Yeah. Like, really personal, really angry stuff. I mean, just stuff where I'm like, why would you want to say this to everybody? I know. Everybody. Everyone. Everyone you know. I have like teachers from my childhood who fall.

Like right. And I already don't like that they can see all my stuff, but I have to like, you know. Yeah, I know. It just is what it is. It's their choice. Yeah. It's, yeah, there is definitely that thing. It's like, it's just toxic.

You're just watching something toxic. I can't even really describe it. I don't really, I can't identify exactly what it is. It's not coming at me, but not seeing it makes you feel better. Yeah. It's just less toxicity in your eye line. Yeah, because I think that we, as people just naturally like, multiply and overestimate that agree to which one person's opinion represents other people's opinions.

Because when this person was in my feed, I mean, just one person I'm thinking of. Yeah. I would say to people like, it's crazy that people are saying this. And the people I would say that to are just like, people are saying that. Like, I haven't heard anyone say that. Right. Oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like watching a crazy person unravel. Right.

In quarantine, when I don't have contact with that many people, this can't be one of the voices that I hear during the day. Yes. There's just not room and I need to not go insane. So smart. Yeah. So smart. It really takes, this is what's kind of troubling because I have children. They're growing now.

They're like the 18 and 16. But, like, I worry, like, this is a sophisticated thing you're talking about. Like, to mentally prepare yourself and buffer yourself. Like, it's pretty sophisticated, and you have to be very self-aware. And I think, like, it must be so difficult for kids to navigate it. On the one hand, on the other hand, they're probably more adept at it than we are. Like, they were able to see a lot of bad examples and kind of met through it without maybe quicker than we can. but it does make me feel like as a whole, my kids aside,

this is sophisticated stuff to be able to not be dragged into it. Yeah. I mean, this is why people end up following like QAnon and stuff. It's like you're just talking about regular people getting sucked into this mental vortex without any self-awareness. Yeah. It's terrifying. Yeah.

That's such a hard thing because when I was very young, I only cared about like, like, what people thought of me. Mm-hmm. I cared about it so much. Yeah. And so I wasn't like, should I follow this person because I like seeing their things? It was like, I have to be like this person. I have to, you know, I feel like I spent my whole childhood trying to imitate prettier girls.

Oh, really? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. And now I like, I hide so many beautiful women. I have, I'm able to follow like more. now than ever, but I was just like hiding everyone I thought was pretty, even like friends of mine. Right. I get nervous as I'm saying that because I'm like, I don't want anyone who's

listening to this who knows me to be like, oh, does Lara think I'm ugly because she likes all my posts? Yeah, that's right. She's comfortable with my face. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I felt so flasked. because someone told me that she like unfriended, like just couldn't look at any more attractive people. And I had been like unfriended by her. It was something where I put together that she. Right. Maybe she told me.

I think she might have told me. Uh-huh. And I was like, oh, I like make you feel bad. Thank you. At Helix Sleep. And let me also remind you one more time that I have a big show coming up in Las Vegas. Our good friend Kiras Soltanovich, who has been a frequent guest here on Breaking Bread, is going to be doing the show with me.

That's July 30th. Go to tompapa.com. The whole tour, the family reunion tour, is up now. And all the tour dates, really the win in Las Vegas on July 30th kicks it off. And then we rock and roll through next spring. We're going everywhere. Chicago, Atlanta, all of Florida, New Jersey, and Eaton, how we just added a second show there on August 27th at the Count Basie.

Go to Tompapa.com. They're all there. They're all listed. All the links, super easy. You guys are the best. That is a, it's a weird thing. I mean, we all kind of have, we all kind of have the thing of judging ourselves when we see pictures of ourselves and putting ourselves out there.

And it's like, you know, we've been trying to get this angle for this camera right for a long time now because it just shoots my neck when I'm turning and I'm like, I can't, do I look like that? But the comments for female comedians, that's the headline. It always starts with that. It always starts with your looks. It's such a, guys don't have to deal, it'll come eventually. And sometimes we'll say, like, you're fat or you don't, you're, you're, you're, your head, you have no hair, whatever.

But it's not the dominant comment. It's an unfortunate part of the culture, for sure. Yeah. For sure. And in either direction. Like, I'm getting a lot of, like, positive comments on my posts because of my recent weight loss. Right.

And I like that, and I appreciate it. but there also is a big part of me that's like, I'm on stage working. It's a picture of me with the microphone. Would you ever feel the need to comment on a man's appearance? Would you ever make a comment about a man's ass? Yeah. You know what I mean?

I know. And it's just like there are so many that it doesn't feel good. It doesn't sit well with me. I don't know. It's hard to explain the relationship that I have with that. But do you understand? I totally do. I like being complimented.

I don't like the fact that I'm being evaluated as a sex object when I'm trying to tell jokes. Right. You're working so hard to get this joke to work. Stand up is one of the hardest things that you can do to do it really well. You have to put a lot of time to craft this joke to get it to work. And your persona, everything, it's a lot to it. There's a lot to it. Yeah.

To then have to think on top of all of that. that while I'm delivering this joke, this person is thinking, could I have sex with this person? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a, that's a heady thing. Yeah. But you kind of have to, I mean, sure, I'm sure, I'm sure that most of the audience is dreaming about having sex with me while they're watching me.

But they don't voice it as much. Yeah. No, but really, like anything that would make the job more difficult is, uh, is a shame. Yeah. You have to kind of again, you've got to kind of block that out, like in real time, I would suppose. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, I try to just take it in stride and move on. Yeah. You know, but it's just like, I even, oh my gosh. What? A friend of mine died. And I posted a picture of us together and a guy commented on my body. and I never respond and I wrote like what the fuck is your problem or something like I wrote I think I said what the fuck is your problem yeah um or like seriously or something I responded

and he was like what like genuinely didn't understand and I'm like this is right I mean I can't explain it to you if you don't understand how incredibly inappropriate that is. You literally can't explain it. It's not even, the knee-jerk reaction is sometimes you just do, right? Sometimes you just have to respond to something. Yeah.

But yeah, after taking a beat, there's no way. Yeah. I would, I mean, I would have to begin by explaining that the difference between good and bad. You know, I mean, I would just have to start at such a fundamental, Totally. Kind of kindergarten preschool level. Right. That I'm just like, if you don't have it and you're grown, I think we just kind of missed one.

Yeah, you're just a mess. Yeah. You're beyond help. Yeah. I can't. Yeah. I'm not going to change you in one session, so to speak. That's what's difficult about putting like the real personal stuff up.

Like I don't, I don't post about my family. I don't post about, I literally don't. And I know this is kind of like archaic, but I don't post birthdays. I don't post about my anniversary. I don't post about my dad on Father's Day. I just feel like those are mine. Yeah. And I know it's totally the opposite of the way apparently everyone else in the world feels an axe.

But I just saw a friend post this long thing about. her father who passed. And I don't know. I mean, what's it for? Yeah. I don't know what it's for. Yeah. I don't post like for Father's Day or my dad's birthday or death anniversary or any of the things.

My sister likes to. It gives her something that it doesn't give me. Yeah. And so she does and that's fine and I don't and that's fine. I do post for like for Mother's Day for my mom and for my mom because I know that she like wakes up and is excited and wants to see if I got it. Yeah, she likes it. I know. Yeah.

That's that's different. Yeah. Like, because I know having teenage girls, they kind of like getting a shout out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. They want to. But I'm like, and I start to think, well, maybe this is the archaic part.

Like maybe I'm just being kind of shitty. And I should just give her like a shout. Like I literally posted a thing, you know, everyone's doing these great things for Conan right now. And I posted a picture of Conan with my daughters when they were younger with Will Farrell behind like dressed as a cat. And it's just one of my favorite photos. And I was like, I actually, this is, I don't know, six years ago. They're different people now. And I even hesitated then like, do I post my children on this?

but it was just so great for the Conan moment that I did it. But I did have pause. I was like, and nobody has pause. You know, you see people, comics whose children are like little kids are like front and center of their, I hate to say it, but marketing plan. You know? Yeah. It's weird. And I love to see it.

I love their little kids. You do? I do, yeah. I love when people post stuff about their little kids. Yeah. Yeah, and you like to see. They're just telling the story. Yeah, and they're funny.

Yeah. Are people saying horrible comments on those also? Oh, gosh. I could never imagine that, but I also couldn't imagine a lot of the things I have read. I'm sure they're not. People tend to leave children alone. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

I mean, what would they say? Like, your baby's ugly? Yes. Exactly. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, exactly that. I don't know. It's a, it's a thing.

So you start in Milwaukee and then you got pretty good and you're like, Chicago's the next, the next spot. I, uh, he, um. How quickly did you know you were good? You're very good. I knew I had like the ingredients. after the first set

because someone came up to me and said that's the best first set I've ever seen someone else came up to me and was like will you do a guest spot at this show so my first show was booked from my first set I actually have thought I was funny for much longer than I've actually been funny so I was like

yeah I didn't plan to like make a career out of it at that point but I was I mean it's easy to be like a big fish in a small pond and like I won Milwaukee's funniest comic and I thought that I was the funniest comic and then I went to Chicago and I had to start over you know because there were so many people who were funnier than I was right um and then I moved here and I had to start over because there were so many people who were funnier than I was right right yeah it's uh but yeah but you knew but that's still that doesn't happen there's a lot of other people in Milwaukee that were doing it the same way

and they don't kind of rise up, you know. Were you getting success in Chicago? Yeah, I was passed at all the clubs before I moved. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, that's good. And then why did you pick L.A. over in New York? Oh, my gosh.

For everything that makes them different, everything that's a difference between them, I like the L.A. thing better. I prefer to commute in a car than with people. I like space. I don't like being crowded. I don't like crowds. Yeah.

Well, that does it. I like warmth and the ocean and mountains. I dislike cold and rain and garbage. But how'd you do in Chicago? You're describing a mini Chicago too. Yeah. It was cold. I was cold.

I wore four pairs of pants and I was cold. And I hated being cold. I've hated being cold for my entire. life. And you grew up in Milwaukee. I grew up in Milwaukee and was always freezing. I still remember being cold like to a degree that was traumatic. Like I remember Alana Bamberger's sweater and looking at it and just being freezing in eighth grade like just and wearing a sweater and just being freezing. And I remember being so mad that like the school wasn't warm. enough that you could be warm in a sweater. Yeah, I was just always cold. I mean, I'm not exaggerating

about wearing four pairs of pants to commute because I just was like, I'm not, I'm done fucking around with this. I'm not doing another winter like this. Whatever it takes, I'm not going to be that cold. I would put on four pairs of socks. I would just put on, I would just keep putting on clothes. I would just keep putting on clothes. It's like, I'm not doing this. Yeah. I wear a ski mask. Until it leveled out. Yeah. Now I can go. Your snob will freeze in your nose. I mean, it's just awful. It's terrible.

It's terrible. So when you, do you tour a lot? Are you starting to tour? Yeah. So when you look at, are you going to look at your tour schedule? Will it be weather based? No. I mean, I can handle it.

I can handle it for like, like if I go home to visit my family. I like to see snow. I like to be, but I mean, I do get in the car and I'm like, this is an outright. outrageous that we're leaving the house at this point. You forget like the times that are cold that you don't think will be cold. Like the time it takes the car to warm up feels like it's a year. Yeah, you get to the restaurant and it's never, you've never felt heat yet. Yeah. And then you walk inside the restaurant and someone like holds the door open a little bit and you're freezing in the restaurant. People think that it's only cold outside, but it's cold inside too. It's cold inside too.

You're cold for months. I can go be cold for a weekend some of the time, but I'm never cold on stage. Right. And I'm not cold in my hotel room because I'm responsible for the heat decisions. I'm controlling the thermostat. Yeah, I take great liberties with the heat. I'm so glad you say it. Because when I get on a, I was literally on a flight and I'm in business class,

and it's freezing. I'm freezing. I'm in a, I'm in like a, like a blazer kind of a jacket and long pants. And it's, it's freezing. And I'm looking around and there's like a,

a dude in shorts, and there's a guy in a t-shirt, and no one's complaining. And I'm like, can we make it a little? Do you have a blanket? Do you have, like, I'm like, am I, a hundred years old?

Am I the wimpiest man on this plate? Like, why? but I'm freezing and this is not like if I could touch my leg and it's like ice yeah why am I why do I pay for this seat I relate to that 100% I'm flabbergasted that people have the confidence to show up to any public place in shorts I would be cold 100% of the time yeah people at comedy shows will show up in flip-flop sandals I'm like how are your toes not freezing right now it's brutal for me to even look at it yeah and I bring slippers in my carry-on and like layers on layers. Like I'll bring like a hoodie and a jacket and

have like a long sleeve shirt in my carryout just because I've been just for the flight burned. Yeah, I've been on flights where I swear it was 90 degrees on the plane and I've been on flights where I was freezing the entire time. A hundred percent. Yeah. If you're next to like the bulkhead like in the door like you're so close to outside. Yeah. Yeah. You're so close. My feet are cold. Like the bottoms of my feet are cold through my shoes. Oh my gosh. Our flight was...

So the little airport that I fly into to see my family is the Rhinelander Airport in Wisconsin. There's like one flight to and from Minneapolis like once a day, maybe twice a day. That's it. And they overbook it all the time in the winter. every flight, they sell too many tickets and act like it's the first time it's ever happened. And that is what happens. I know the flight will be delayed. I know it will be a thing.

It's somehow everyone's first day, every day. I don't understand it, but we were all on this flight. And they tried to freeze us off the plane. They kept trying to get volunteers to get off for the wait, something with de-icing. After they'd already been on? No ice. Yeah, they boarded everyone. And then they were like, actually, we need like eight of you to get off or some number.

None of the explanation made sense with itself. Like, no thing that they said was related logically in my mind to any other, to any conclusion. It was like, we're having, we're like having trouble de-icing the plane. So like, we need eight volunteers to fly tomorrow. And I'm like, what does that have to do? What are you talking about? Half of that has to be made up. You have to be making that up.

No one volunteered to get off the plane. And then they offered a financial incentive and like a couple people got off the plane. But then they removed the financial incentive. They were like actually for no money, we need six more people to get off. And everybody laughed and nobody got off. And they just wouldn't turn the heat on. And eventually and they kept like threatening us. they're like, we're going to just not, we're going to cancel the flight and you're all going to have to get off.

Oh, cruel. And they did. They canceled the flight. We all had to get off. No, nobody broke? No, nobody broke. Even during the cold? Yeah, no, no one broke.

Well, because I think we all assumed that they were going to do what the logical thing is to do, which is choose six people to be pissed off. Yeah. The last six who booked, I mean, seems fair to me. Sure. You know, not cool. Not a great day for those people. people. Give them a Starbucks coupon and do something. A free, a free flight, you know, something. And I mean, airlines have enough money that they can make it worth a person's inconvenience.

Yes. Give them that amount of money. Yeah. And nobody hates you. Right. Instead, they cancel the flight and put us all on a bus in the middle of the night to Minneapolis. They brought out like the, like a snack cart and gave us like mini bags of potato chips were all hungry. Oh my God. This is so cruel. Yeah, we had to fly out the next day. This sounds like, this sounds like an Eastern, East German foreign film. You know what I mean?

Like a bleak. It was crazy. Just, oh my God. It was crazy. They gave me $125 in Delta dollars. That was, because they're like, well, we can't refund the whole trip because you took the rest of the trip. So we'll just refund that leg of the trip. even though, like, we already provided transportation.

You got a van ride. I'm like, I paid for a tiny airplane and I got a bus. That's not. And then the delta dollars, like, you have to spend it at the airport. You have to book your flight at the counter. I don't think I ever did spend those delta dollars. I spent different delta dollars because now if they need people to get off the plane, I volunteer.

I mean, I shoot out of my seat. Really? And I go get that money. Yeah, absolutely. I talk about it with my sister beforehand. I'm like, are you cool with me staying for another day? If it ends up being like that. Yeah, I got $1,400 Delta once.

And I used it to fly for like the next year. Yeah. And I just stayed at my sisters for like an extra couple days. It was fine. That's so great. Yeah. I know. Where do you have to be that bad?

Yeah. Yeah. Just get me out of here. Oh, it's so cruel. So, well, it's good that you found your way quickly. Like you got comedic. foothold in L.A. Because that's usually the play is, at least in New York you'll get stage time.

And in L.A., you could end up in the path of you need a TV credit or something to start getting good stage time. But you're in a nice spot because you're funny. And people took that into consideration rather than other things that you actually have made the right. You deserve to be warm. Thank you. Yeah. I was doing open mics here for like three years and considering grad school, which is like rock bottom for comedians for anyone who's listening. That's like the lowest it can get is if you're considering grad school. Yeah.

And then I did the open mic at the comedy store and Adam saw me and like me and put me in front of every person who's had any effect on my career. And that's how I have a comedy career right now. That's great. Yeah. Well, it makes perfect sense. It just takes seeing you once. And you're like, ah, like I said in the beginning, it's like, oh, wow, a really funny

person. Like you see a lot of people. And you're like, okay, okay. And you're like, ah, this is exciting. Thank you so much. Yeah. You know, it's so great. So how are you going to not be distracted by other things?

How are you going to stay true to comedy? Oh, wow. That's a good question that I don't think anyone's ever asked me before. I mean, I think I'm like not distractible to a fault. Like stuff will come up where it's like opportunities to try out for, you know, to submit like a self-tape or like a packet or something. And I don't want my agents to know this because I appreciate getting those things sent to me and I do them.

Yeah. But in my head, I'm just like, I just want to be a comedian. I just want to do stand-up. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And I would love to have my own show. Sure.

But like, I just want to do stand-up. Yeah. So I feel like even, I just don't think I'm that distractable. That's good. Because, you know, there's a lot of great stand-ups or potentially great stand-ups that do get distracted, need money, whatever, and take a lot of. a writing job and then end up comfortable because of that thing that's paying them now and the stand-up starts to, you know, dry. Yeah. You know. But then there's others who kind of

taste it and come quickly back, you know, who could because look, there's not that many people that can write really funny. Really. There's a lot of people that make a living at it, but that are really that good. So the opportunities will come for sure, you know. Yeah. It's really, hard. Writing is really hard. Yeah. And, um, and there are no like, well, if there are, I don't know them, but like tricks with writing. Like I can kind of bobblehead my body on stage and talk and, you know, an amplification of my voice. Yeah. And people laugh at stuff that's like, probably not that funny written down. Right. I mean, you know, it's funny to me, but it's a, it's a trick. It's an, it's an illusion, if you will. Right. To a degree. To a degree, because I'm paying for all of you. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Your headbobble, your voice, your thing, that's still, like, that's still all part of you. That's like the thing that's attractive to watching a comedian is like, I just love them. You know what I mean? And the writing, I'm totally with you, like, the writing is the main thing. And you want those to be super, super solid. But it's not total sorcery. It's not a cheat, I guess. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. To get a laugh off of your voice. Yeah. Something that I do now that I didn't do before I worked in this industry is I see, like when I'm watching TV, I see it written out. Like I can see the script. and I watch friends a lot. And there are so many jokes. Yeah.

And there's such good jokes. But the cast also like brings that stuff to life. Right. And it's made me appreciate so much more like the delivery. Right. Jennifer Aniston's delivery of these jokes is, and I mean, I could say that about any one of them. They're all amazing.

Yeah. But like she just is so funny. Yeah. That's what I mean. Like you love her. It's when people watch you. and I forget about this too. Like I'll plow through sets and forget that they also like to see you take a sip of water.

They like to see you fiddle with your with your waist when you're like those moments in between too. It's not all because you come from a writing head. I come from a writing head. Yeah. And if I'm not spitting out those words, then I'm useless. but it's not like but you want to see Jennifer Aniston just kind of like listen right like you want to see her thinking about where she's going yeah right so why should that shouldn't be different for us yeah well and that's why it's so annoying when you have a heckler who will talk during your pause

because it's like no I put that there that's mine bitch that's not yours to talk in I put that there I put that there to give people a second to digest and anticipate, not for you to play mad libs with my fucking act. Like, don't fill in what you think would be funny there. I did, I'm not done. You think I'm done. Do you think I'm done? You might be uncomfortable, but I'm totally comfortable right now.

I'm doing my act. Shut up. Yeah, there are those, yeah. That's what's like when you start doing, like, if you perform in like a theater space or just like an alternative room, there is a different. energy than the straight-up comedy club where it's like everyone's thrown fastballs before you all night long and everyone's just used to that rhythm now and then you try and pause or say something meaningful, God forbid, you actually say something poignant.

Boo! Yeah. Right? Yeah. You get kind of, that's why sometimes at the comedy store specifically, like I'll prefer being in the original room. where it's just sometimes slow and messy, then everybody just performing their ass off in front of the packed main room. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. It's good for your ego to go and watch, have those jokes work and feel, you know, all those people's laughs, but not really there for that. Well, and I think that, like, 99% of the time, what is a heckle is like an accident. It's a person who, like, had a drink for the first time that month and thought of something and didn't have the time buffer to not say what came out. You know, they're just having a good time.

Right. And then you asked, you ever say, I'm sorry, what? And they can't say it because they didn't even realize it came out of their mouth, really. Yeah. Oh, is that what that is? That makes sense. Right? And you're like, I'm sorry.

That just happened to me. I was in Portland. and then I literally was someone said something and I was like I mean that's all casual we're just working stuff out and uh he blah blah blah I was like what was that yeah uh oh literally was the noise he made oh he wasn't ready for that he didn't realize what he had done yeah I always say what was that because I think that I mean I feel like I have to to maintain ownership of the stage Right. Because I don't want it to seem like I heard it and I backed down or like I heard it and I couldn't think of something to say back. Right. So I'm pretending like it didn't happen. You know, there's like very much an alpha dog thing.

Sure. Where I have to be like, did you say something? Right. What was it? Right. Because I can handle it. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. I'm sorry. You interrupted me. What was that? What did you say? Yeah. It's like talking to a child. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Did you have something to say? Yeah. You're just muttering when you were walking out of the kitchen. Come back here and say that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it lets them know that like, that you can hear them. Right. And it is disruptive and it will be called out and it will embarrass them. It will embarrass the people around. It's going to be a thing. If you yell something out, it's going to be a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Completely. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. That was always so rough as a kid. What did you say? Nothing. I didn't say anything. And you never.

I never, like, thought of something that you could have said. The answer was always nothing. Yeah. They heard you. Yeah. Nothing. What did you say? I don't know.

Something I wish I could take back. How's your mom doing now? She's good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going there in a week. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

In a week, four week. We're going to do summer Wisconsin. We're going to do bug spray, a campfire. I'm going to go in a lake. It'll be brown. I'm going to see my nephews and my niece and my sister. Nice. There will be a kayak.

There will be a grill. Awesome. And a deck. Yeah, they got hammocks, which is fun. I mean, they live in a cabin in the woods. Right. Yeah. That's awesome.

They got dogs with three dogs. Sounds great. So I try to go twice a year and I just like soak it all up and then take it back. I was going, when my mom had cancer, I was going every month and then COVID hit. And so I didn't go. So you haven't seen her? For a long time. I have, I have seen her.

Oh, okay. Once. How long was she sick? God, I don't know. Yeah. What happened with time? I know. I think.

Is she okay now? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She had breast cancer and lung cancer. Oh, man.

found it and she was never a smoker. And they found it because she fell and broke her shoulder. And the x-rays of her shoulder showed cancer in her, I mean, showed stuff in her, she had breast cancer and lung cancer. And then it turned out that the reason she was falling, because she like had a couple falls. And it turned out it was because of a neurological condition that is often caused by the antibodies to cancer, specifically breast cancer and lung cancer. So her cancer gave her the antibodies that

made her fall, which saved her life. Whoa. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And now she's like so much better. Like that that neurological condition has gone away. So she's not falling down anymore. It's like the antibodies are inside like just trying to knock her over. Yeah. Like cow tipping. Yeah. Like we got to send her down. Yeah, and they centered down. And then broke her shoulder and they're like, we did it. We're going for an x-ray. No. Oh, wow.

That's amazing. Yeah. I never heard that before. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah. Jeez, Louise. So then they take a picture of her shoulder and they capture some more.

Mm-hmm. They use a wide lens. Yeah, they did something. I was talking to, I was talking to Joe Marisi about this who works at the store and lost his mother to cancer. And he was and he had a similar story where it was like, my mom's cancer didn't show up on a mammogram. It showed up on like a pet scan. And Joe had the same experience with his mom where it didn't show up on a mammogram and showed up on something else. Right.

And so we're both like, so why isn't that the test? Like why isn't the thing that shows it the test? Yeah. Why is the mammogram the thing? because even like when we knew she had cancer, they gave her another mammogram and they still couldn't see it. Really? Yeah.

That's unsettling. Yes, it is. So every time my wife comes back and is like, the mammogram's all clear, it's not necessarily great news. I mean, I'm probably going to ask for like pet scans now. Yeah. What's a pet scan? I am going to sound like such a buffoon because I don't really know.

but in my like child head, you know, that really is what it is. I was explained what was going on with my mom and I have the same brain, you know. Yeah, of course. It's something with sugar and a liquid and like a dye and it like dyes the thing. It like shows it. They truly explained it to me like I was five years old and it was really helpful. If only you could have remembered. So if only I knew a word of what they said.

Well, I just know, yeah, like as a child, you're just listening to it. Am I going to feel good about this or bad about this at the end? Yes. Just tell me. Yeah. Yeah. How did this work out? And the way they explained it was, so there's like a thing and it turns cells a different color if they are cancer cells.

And some of the cells turned this different color. And these are the areas where the cells turn this color. And I was like, can that happen sometimes if they're not cancer cells? Yeah. She was like, no. No. So let's go for that. So you have cancer is what you're saying.

Yeah, so give me that test. Yeah. Jeez. Yeah. Well, thank God she's okay. That's good. Yeah. Will she go in the lake or does she not swim?

Hell no. There's nothing she will less do than go in the lake. Will she get in the hammock? No. No, if she got in the hammock, she would never get out. That would be the last story of my mom. Survive cancer. Survive lung cancer.

Survive breast cancer. And she's still in the hammock. We've been feeding her, but yeah, she's still out there. So I don't want to spend too much time on your losing weight because I know you've talked a lot about it and stuff, but you dropped a bunch of weight cutting out. mostly sugar and carbs and things like that. And I was thinking that's probably like when my nephew came back to my Italian family and said that he was a vegan, it was the worst news the family could hear.

Because it's like, how are we going to cook for this person? How are we going to do this? But growing up in Wisconsin and coming in and being like, I only eat protein, cheese and meat, they're probably okay with that. No. No? So I don't eat sugar and I don't eat flour. Okay.

But I eat like rice and potatoes and stuff. But I don't usually eat cheese and I don't eat like brats. Like there's just a lot of stuff that has sugar in it that you would never think has sugar in it. And so they definitely had to like grieve like me eating Christmas cookies and stuff like, you know, eating like cake and stuff. It's the hardest part. My sister. Yeah, well, because it's like, it's a way that they express love.

You always loved my orange cookies. Yeah. And so my sister's just like, can you do like rice flour or almond flour? And I'm like, I can't do like rice flour and stevia and eat a cookie because then like I'm eating a cookie. Right. You know? Yeah.

And I just, I can't. Yeah. And I mean, I don't want to try. I don't want to see what I can get away with. because like I'm I just feel so much better that I don't see why to not keep doing what's working. Just keep saying I love you. Right now. Yeah.

I love you. Yeah. I can't. No, thank you. But man, I really love. Have I told you I love you? I love everything you do for me. Yeah.

That's really what it comes down to. Yeah. I stopped eating meat for a while and walked into an Italian deli and everything about my whole life came like rushing back. And I went back home and was like, yeah, I could eat salami. My parents were like, he's home. It's so funny. He's back. Yeah.

Could you eat this stuff? You wouldn't eat the cheese. Yeah, I could eat that stuff. Okay. Yeah. You don't have to. I just figured that's what I would put out for you. I was going to wait until you did, but you didn't eat it.

I ate the cheese. Oh, you did? Yeah. I didn't see you eat it. The hard part, the hard part about this podcast is that people, People don't like when you chew on mic. It gets so angry. I'm like, but it's food based.

And they're like, please don't. I'm like, I don't know, but I'm eating. I'm going to do like an ASMR thing where I open mouth to the pepperoni. That's what it is. That's exactly what it is. And how some people really love watching ASMR and other people like, what is happening? I can't do this. I hate ASMR.

It's creepy, right? Yeah, I just... It's so creepy. I have like pretty sensitive hearing. Mm-hmm. And so I don't like... I just hate it. I can't even put words to why I hate it so much, but I just, as soon as it starts, I need it to stop.

It has like the opposite effect on me as it has on people who like it. Yeah. And I bet they can't really describe why they like it. Like it's a visceral thing. It's so weird. And now I'm going to open up this box. It's so creepy. Shampoo.

Okay, we're going to take the cap off now. Oh, God. It's so creepy. I know. I know. Do they decide or does it just happen to them? I think they decide. You think so?

I think a lot of people who are into ASMR. Yeah. Just like think it's cool. like the way it sounds to be into it. Right. Which is such an ignorant thing to say because that's just because I don't like it. I'm with you 100%. Really?

Okay, cool. Yeah. I'm like, it's not really fair to say that like someone else couldn't like it. But I'm also like, but do you? Right. Or do you just like hot women doing anything? Right. And if she's going to tap on a shampoo bottle and that gives you an excuse to watch her whisper.

Yeah, exactly. You know? Yeah. I'm no kidding. You like watching a hot woman speak to you softly. Yeah, no shit. You're not neurodivergent. Like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, exactly. I know. It is such a creepy thing. Well, I'm excited that we'll be at the comedy store on the same night on Saturday or run into each other a lot now that we're back at work and doing all of our things. I think

when you is your act in a place now that where are you at with it? Like are you happy with where you, now that we're re-emerging? Are you feel like you're getting good work done? Do you feel like you, you know,

it depends on answering this question depends on your mood right now. Right? It always is like, do you feel like pretty good about it or do you feel like you have a big bag of nothing? No, so I really like my act right now, but that also, like, it constantly needs to be getting better. Yeah.

You know, there's not, it constantly needs to be getting better, especially with as many times as I'm, like, at the store and at the improv, like, I just can't do the same act for very long. Yeah. And so I write pretty much every day. Oh, that's good. And I've just been writing garbage. Yeah. I've just been writing garbage. but that's still part of the process.

Absolutely. And so I set my timer for 30 minutes and I write and, you know, on the rare occasion that something is like worth trying on stage, I do that. Yeah. I feel like I'm not, but I still think that that is like pulling the crank at the casino so many times. Like eventually you're going to get something. Yeah, right, exactly.

I'm not a gambler, but. Yeah. in case I wasn't obvious by pulling the old-timey crank. Is that not how they do it? That's a button. Oh, I've never done it. Yeah. I'm like stupid.

No, I heard a great thing, and I hate to bring it up because I should know his name, but a legendary writer from The Simpsons, they just did a New Yorker article on him. And he's been there forever, and he's just one of like the legendary originals. And he was talking about his process of writing anything. And his advice was write the first draft of anything. And this could be your stand up for the 30 minutes of the day. Just go through it. Just full steam ahead as fast as you can.

Even if you're not writing the right words down at times, just write. And then he walked into the something or other and just kept going and just spit that thing out as fast as you can and then go back and work on it. which is really the joy of the writing is when you get, you find stuff and then start tinkering and then going to work on it. And I've been kind of like, kind of like playing around. I've been doing that without hearing him say that. I've been kind of in that area most of the time writing.

But to hear someone so successful say, just do it, just spit it all out and then go to work and you'll get good stuff. It's such a relief because it creates this, purely judgment-free zone for these ideas to come out. Yeah. Isn't that sound cool? Yeah.

Yeah. And that's, I mean, what I do looks insane. If you were to read like my first, I just write every thought I have until something good comes out. And then I go back and I'll like write a box around just the garbage and exit out. Right. You know, because it'll literally be like, I'm doing the dish. I mean, whatever pops into my head. Yeah, yeah.

And then I will rewrite it, you know, rearrange like different parts and work with what's there. But long hand or on your computer? I have to do it in a notebook. Yeah. Yeah. I recently tried on a computer again and I was like, no, I have to do it in a notebook. Yeah. Too fast?

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. It's too, it's, yeah, exactly. And also I just like the words still, the word staying. I don't want to edit a joke, you know, and then the old room is like gone. Right. And I don't, you know. And you don't have the, yeah. I've been, my penmanship is so bad. And I like the idea of being a person that sends letters to people because it's more meaningful. Like there's something, to that, but they can't read it. It's like getting gobbly gook. So I've been using a typewriter because I figure that's somewhere in between the computer and the handwritten

note. So if I type it out, there's a little more thought to it. And it's exactly what you're saying. Like, you don't speed through it because each word is important. If you make a mistake, it's a big pain in the ass. And I can't believe that the world was built on these machines. Like, this is how people communicated and did contracts and mortgages, like on a typewriter. It's so insane. But there's something so great from the writing end of it. It makes you just slow down a hair. You think a little bit more. Those words are a little more important. I haven't tried writing stand-up on it because it seems annoying. Yeah. But people like the notes. I don't know why it's just so much easier for my brain.

to understand it, I mean, to see what it's looking at. Because I can just make everything have like a different box. I mean, I know with the computer you can like highlight stuff or whatever. It's just different. Yeah. And it's also a good excuse and opportunity to not be looking at a screen for some bracket of my day. A little second. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's no fear of any of those people we've muted showing up. Yeah. Popping up in your browser. Yeah. Well, this was so great. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Yeah, this is really, this is why this podcast is so much fun to do.

It's like when somebody really want to talk to and meet, it's like this is so much better than me just cornering you in the comedy store and asking the least intimate questions. For an hour. Yeah, this is better. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. We'll do it again.

Yeah, really fun. All right. That's our big show, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to our good friend, Lara. I told you she was going to be great. Look up all of her stuff on social media and go see her live. Thank you all.

Once again, we will talk to you next week here on Breaking Bread.