Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 62 - Ian Edwards

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

Global citizen and funny comedian Ian Edwards stops by and we grab a Quick Bite with Chris Distefano, who is on a food rampage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for joining us here at the table here in this glorious, glorious summertime. Hope you're doing well. Hope everything's going good in your life. I hope you're out there, seeing faces, kissing people on the lips. So good to be alive. You're so

lucky. You're so lucky to be alive. We have a great show for you today. We've got Ian Edwards, one of the funniest comedians working today. And we've got a quick bite with Chris Distifano, another very funny man. He's got a great podcast and he's super funny. He will be a guest on the podcast as well. And we're lucky to get a quick bite with him halfway through the show today. We also, let's see, so we are in the middle of the summer. I hope you are enjoying summer, summer food, summer barbecues, breaking it all out. It's so funny, the rhythm of life is such, it's all planned out, isn't it? The rhythm of us tied to nature, as much as a supermarket can have things that look like

they're in season all year round, they're really not. You know, like you see strawberries, everything's there in the supermarkets now. doing funny things to it. You can see strawberries year round. You see apples year round. The pasta aisles are always filled with what they got. The meat and fish is always stocked all year round. But the rhythm of what you want and crave tied to the rhythm of the year.

It's just something that you can't escape. There's when I'm rolling after this podcast and go back home and I sit with my family, no one is going to say, Dad, make us a big Italian lasagna with sauce and bread. It's not happening. It's hot outside. They are going to want me to go to the grill. They're going to want me to barbecue something.

They're going to want a light salad. We had on the 4th of July, I made a macaroni salad that I got from the New York Times, which is just like this herb-heavy, lighter macaroni salad just to try and get some pasta into people. I know they don't need it, but I know in their souls they need it. And this is the way to sneak it in in the summer. And it was dill. It was, what was it mainly? It was dill, no rosemary, um, Dijon mustard, little bit of mayonnaise just because it's macaroni salad. And you've got to

keep that that in there. A lot of parsley, Italian parsley, chopped up finely. Celery, a lot of celery and Dijon mustard, mayonnaise, and you just kind of whip it up. Olive oil, I believe, nice and light, just having herbs, having fresh herbs. When we had macaroni salad as kids, it was just mayonnaise. was just elbow macaroni and some mayonnaise, maybe some salt and pepper, and just splotted onto the thing, big heavy potato salads. All this stuff, like a variation on all these classics, is the way to go for the summer. For sure. And it was a big hit. It was a big hit there at the 4th of July. I ate way too many hot dogs. I know we talked last week about the hot dog

competition. I didn't add any new hot dogs to the repertoire. It's still Hebrew National was the only thing that I served during, and this is not an endorsement. I just, that was the go-to. They're the frontrunners so far this summer. If you want to tell me which way I should go, there's a lot more weekends left in the summer. And who even needs weekends? I'll do a hot dog made week. Did you see the hot dog eating contest on the 4th of July? Joey Chester. nut, breaking his own record, 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Oh my lord. I literally don't know if I've eaten 76 in my life. It's not a man that is enjoying his hot dogs. That is just swallowing pills, swallowing giant pork-en-cased pills down his gut. Oh, but I had a bunch on the 4th of July.

I was very proud of myself. Slathered with mustard, didn't go the sour crowd, even though it's my favorite, but it's too much of a pain in the ass. Had a whole bunch of people roll through, and I stood at the grill literally for over four hours. I loved it. People like, isn't there a pain in the ass? No. To sit there and be able to feed your friends and your family and have kids just come out of the pool and ask for, can I have a cheeseburger, can I have a hot dog, the best.

And then you give it to them and they just run off. They're enjoying their summer moment and you got to make it happen. The best. The best. Had a bunch of beers. The kids love the white claws. The kids love the truilies when kids, I'm saying college age. And some of the younger teenagers were sneaking them.

I'm not dumb. And then I had just beers in Can Ballast Point and Sierra Nevada. Sierra Nevada went crazy and trying to get in on the flavored. Bears, you might be pushing it a little. You might be pushing. I don't know if I need four different kinds of citrus in an IPA. Just saying, don't really need it. The one thing that where I do stick out where I go against the seasons, I know you should be drinking like a white wine and a rosé. I still want a red wine. Nobody does. It's hot out. They don't want to sit there with a glass of red. You know what? There are reds that you can eat. A nice pino, no.

are. There's, I just let the supermarket sell your strawberries all year round. I'm going to take red wine all year round for sure. But hopefully you're enjoying yourself. Hopefully you're screwing around. Hopefully you're doing some things that you shouldn't be doing and not taking work all that seriously. It definitely feels like a very festive time of year normally and this is, this is different. Don't you feel like it's different? Even though there's still. Still like some little rumblings of warnings and things like that. We are so far from where we were a year ago. And I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you for muddling through. All right. Let's get to it. Let's get with Ian Edwards, a great, great comedian and a great guy. And we've been in each other's orbits for a long time. I call him a friend for sure. We've done so many gigs together. And I truly love him.

But I'm really looking forward to sitting down and going through, I was looking forward to going through. This podcast is so great because I get to ask questions of people who I really know and love, but you get to ask them questions that you never would in a normal conversation. And to sit down with Ian, it's just so great, so great. We had a great time. I gave him bread. He gave me insight.

I am richer for this conversation and you will be too. And then after that, we're going to grab a quick bite with the great Chris Distififif. Fano. All right, so let's start it off. You can follow Ian on social media, Ian Edwards, and then social comic. He has a podcast here on this network called the soccer comic, the soccer comic rant, the soccer comic rant. I love guys that love soccer. It's just like, yeah, I'd love to do that and video games. I just don't have the time. I can't take on all of that soccer and be dumb in every conversation, well, listen to the soccer comic rant and you'll be able to get through some parties. Also, on Comedy Central, Ian Talk was his special. So funny.

Just after this conversation, you're going to want to just go. Go to YouTube, find all the links. Ian Edwards, a great person and one of the funniest comedians out there. Enjoy. Thanks for being here. Cheers, bro. Cheers. Good to see you. Good to see you. This is how I'm starting my podcast now. with this question. What have you eaten today? Today, nothing. Zero. Zero.

And it is right now, as we're recording this, around 2.15 in the afternoon. Right. So is this an intermittent fasting thing? Yeah, but the plan is to eat at 12 noon every day. But I missed the window. I had something to do at 11.

Uh-huh. So I couldn't eat before I did that at 11. And then after that, I had to get here. Right. So then there was no time to eat in between. And then the name of the show is breaking bread. Right. So I'm like, why should I eat before I break bread?

It's going to be bread there. So I was like, so. And then I ate late last night anyway, and so we'll stop eating before eight. Uh-huh. So it kind of, it might actually be disciplined. of my accident to eat within the 16. Right, right. To get the 16 hour break.

Do you, so have you been doing this for a long time? You've always been in shape as long as I've known you. Oh, thanks. I mean, I've looked in shape sometimes when I ain't. And the pandemic, I went in and out and out of shape. Right. Yeah, that was, my body, before the pandemic, I was going to the gym three times a week. Like, I do the comedy store.

Right. And there's a 24-hour fitness on the way home. Uh-huh. And it'd be open and there'd be nobody in there. Oh. And I was like, let me just hit that real quick and then go home. Smart. Late night workout.

Yeah, yeah. Smart. There's nobody in there. Yeah. I'd work out in the same clothes that I just did the show in. Oh, really? There's nobody. And I'm just doing some weights and shit.

Yeah. Sweaty. Right. I'm just like trying to. And then it's like, might as well use the other part of the 24 hours that nobody's using. Right. Yeah, the 24-hour fitness, people are really just using about 10 hours of that. 10 hours of that, yeah.

I don't have to like wait online to use a machine. Right. As some dude if he's still using it. Yeah, and he's on his phone. Right. There's people that be on the machine on their phone. And you're like, come on. Yeah.

Feel the presence of other people, motherfucker. Yeah, exactly. I'm staring you down. So that's pretty brilliant. And then you go home and go to bed? Go home, watch a little TV. And then before the pandemic, I'd like watch YouTube videos or what's going on in Wuhan, China, see the empty streets and be like,

shit, if this thing comes here, we're dead. Oh, really? America's not going to stay inside. You were dialed in. Yeah, it's like, it's just going to be a problem. And just so our listeners know, this is the first time that you've been out in what capacity, doing a podcast or just pretty much, you also do your podcast in the studio and you haven't been here. Yeah, I haven't been here to do my podcast. Right.

And since, I think I did the last one like March. Wow. This is exciting. So, well, thanks. How do you feel? You don't seem nervous? No, because you've been through all the stages. Yeah.

Throughout the pandemic. Yeah. So now it just is what it is. Right. I'm working out, taking my vitamins, trying to stay as healthy as possible. Yeah. Keep my immune system, you know, tip top shape. So when you were going to the 24-hour fitness after the comedy store and then it stopped when we all stopped going to the comedy store, you were saying you were up and down, did you go through a period where you didn't work out?

Yeah, like, I'm trying to remember the course of things. Like, I was working out, but I had no weights or anything. I didn't have an elliptical. But my body, like I went to sleep after like three weeks of not working out and woke up one morning completely out of shape. Just one morning. This one morning. Right? Because we're not young anymore.

Yeah, exactly. So like my body didn't retain anything. I said, what about the whole year of working out three nights a week? Doesn't count. Yeah, that shit don't count no more. Nope. Like I don't, this ain't memory phone. I don't retain your shape for you.

You have to work out every day or the one day you don't work out. Yeah. I'll look like you never worked out. It's so sad and true. Yeah. It's so, you have to work out all the time just to not lose. To not lose. Yeah.

And then you're just a week off and you're just back to starting over. Yeah. It really is so sad. Yeah. I used to see people in the gym, like, you know, older, you know, R.A. And I'm like, why are they here? They're not in shape. And I just realized now or during the pandemic, they're maintaining that.

Right. Like if they don't work out. Then they, yeah. Yeah. If I think they're out of shape now, they'd be. And then there's people look at me and be like, he's not in shape. And I get it. Right.

I was at a pool a couple of years ago and I was just watching everybody. And all the middle-aged dudes had no shoulders. They just had, you know, I had no shorts. They just had arms that stuck into their, into their, into their torso. And they had, like, bad tattoos on them. And I'm like, you've got to do, like, they did nothing. I'm like, you've got to at least maintain. Right.

A little bit. You got to maintain your shoulders at least. Just at least your shoulders and your biceps. I know it's like, oh, it's just, it's vanity just to do your biceps. And, oh, there's a lot more to work. You know what? Not really. Not really.

I'm just going to work on those. 100%. I just saw, it was Sylvester Stallone's birthday. tomorrow. Oh, no, on the sixth. It's coming on the sixth. And I knew it for my radio show. I'm not a, I'm not a head of his fan club. I love him. I love him. But I do love him. But anyway, I looked at his Instagram and he's flexing in, I mean, like a... He's still Rocky. He's bigger than Rocky. He's bigger than Rocky. He's bigger than Mr. T. He's like at 75.

He's 75. Yes. I guess he is. So here's my question. If you're not eating during the morning, and I were to try that, maybe we replace our meals with steroids or human growth hormone. Because that's another way to maintain. Yeah. Because that thing about being older and losing it, right, if we get shots, maybe.

Well, let me ask you a question. You're not in a professional league or anything, right? Because as long as you're not, if your answer is no, then you can do whatever you want. Right. Yeah, no one's going to test us. Yeah, but if you're, you know. Oh, I thought you were saying it because I have no need for big muscles. Yeah. People can do whatever they want. Yeah. So we could do that, right? Yeah, you could do that, yeah. Why not? And then you just, you hit, I don't know how it works, but I picture you get a shot of steroids and then you work out real fast on whatever muscle you want. It's where you put it all into your shoulders.

Just go all shoulders. Just do it a lot of life. And then the next day you wake up, you've got massive shoulders. And you're like, take that body for like abandoning me. Right, exactly. I'm back. I'm back, yeah. Who's the rock now?

Yeah, yeah. Who needs you? Yeah. because that's another thing, The Rock, too. Yeah, The Rock. He works out like crazy. Like crazy. And he's got to be taking shots of something, too, though.

I mean, I don't know, but he builds a gym everywhere he goes. Jesus. I know. Like, if he has a mistress, he built a gym at her house so that he can work out while he's cheating on his wife. It's really true. It's really true. He builds a gym wherever. There's gyms all over the world where he shot movies.

They're just there. Just chains and ropes and tires. Yeah. And cobwebs because he's, he already shot the movie and he's gone. Right. Yeah. He leaves the gym behind.

He leaves the gym behind. Oh, man. So when you, so when you were growing up, because you are, you have a British background, a Jamaican background. Uh,

where were you? Where were you as a little kid? Like where? Like, when you're 10 years old, Okay, 10. And you come into breakfast. What country are we in?

10 years old, come to breakfast, Jamaica. In Jamaica. Yeah. And you were living with both your parents? Yeah, yeah. And grandparents? Grandparents and cousins. The whole big, a big party.

Yeah, we had a yard with two houses in it. And one was my grandparents' house. So me and my brothers and sisters and my mom and my father stayed there. and like space in between in the yard and my cousins, which was my father's sister, her husband, and their kids. Nice. And then there was like more land in the back. And we'd plant some shit.

And we had some goats. Oh, yeah? And my uncle had some pigs. Uh-huh. And so at one point, there was a chicken coop. I had some chickens And then Yeah

It was like that It's pretty great Yeah Was it as much fun as it sounds Yeah yeah it was fun Yeah Yeah we had a lot of fun Because you

We didn't have no toys Land was our toys Right Get over here, goat Yeah There's some goats We had another piece of land If you take the goats

Up the street Uh huh And up a hill And then through these bushes We had another like I don't know It was an acre. Yeah.

We just tied them out there, and then we could just have like a forest and jump over the fence, the barbed wire fence, cross this thing called no man's land. Right. And then it was at the bottom of these mountains. So then we just climbed these mountains and shit. Wow. That shit and explore. Amazing.

Yeah. Amazing. You had a mountain for a toy? No. I had a hill in New Jersey. We used to roll down it. Yeah, I relate to that. It sounds like mad fun to be honest.

It was pretty good. Walk to the top of the hill. Roll down. That was good. Let's do it again. Let's do it again. Yeah, yeah. And when it's snowed, did you sled down it?

Yep. Multi-purpose, multi-seasonal hill. Yeah, man. Did you see snow when you were a kid? Did you ever see snow? No, just in movies and shit. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

When's the first time you saw snow? No, I saw snow when. I was growing up in England. Uh-huh. So that was like from one to nine. Okay. But it would mostly get cold, but there was snow, but not like movie snow. Right.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not like that picturesque. Yeah. Like, I don't remember them ever, like, closing down the streets and having, like, those, what are those trucks that pushed the snow? The plows, snow plows. Snow plows.

Snow plowing on your car in New York. Yeah. Handing you some. some hot chocolate out the window. Wait a minute. Santa walks by. So what brought you from, why at nine do you move to Jamaica from?

Because our parents from Jamaica. And then they had us in England. And I guess they felt like, let's move back to Jamaica. They stay home. Right. And let's live there. Let's go back there.

Yeah. Right. And we're like, but we're from here. Right. I've got friends. This is kind of selfish. You're not thinking this out. Like, what am I going to tell Harry and Greg? Right. You know, what am I going to tell the girls that I like? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Come visit me in Jamaica. Go visit me in Jamaica. We're none. They don't even got passports here. You're not thinking this out. It's pretty selfish. So when you roll into that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that you were talking about, was it, were you fighting at first or were you like, did you adapt pretty quickly? You was trying to tell me something about your father before. And you just raised not to fight your parents. Right. You just, like, whatever he told you about going to see the fireworks. Right. You just accepted it.

Yeah. You just, you just, you just accepted. This is out of my hands. It's out of my hand. I am powerless. Yeah, I know I'm too young to not get on that flight. Right. You know what I mean?

There's nothing I could do about it. But when you walk around the, when you get there and you're checking out the goats and you're seeing your cousins and stuff, is it, are you pretty happy right away? Or does it, you're pretty angry for a bit? Not angry, but it just, it's just going to take a minute to get used to. Yeah. That's a big, that's a big shift. That's a big. Yeah, it's a big shift.

But then you forget about shifts, you forget and you just, it just happens. Yeah. You just in it. Yeah. And this is who you are now. Who's cooking when you're there at 10? My aunt, my mom was a great cook. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What would they make? Boiled dumplings, breadfruit, Bami, acion, solfish. What's Bami? Corrie goat. Bami is like these cakes that you could fry made out of cassava. Casava? Yeah.

What's cassava? Casab is like the simplest way to put is like a form of potato. Okay. So it's like a different type of one. of those starches. Right, right, right. And fry it up. Fry it up. Like a home fry. Yeah, it'd be good as shit. Oh, it's good. Yeah. Curry goat. Fritters. Oxdale fritters. Mm-hmm. Kalaloo, which is like the closest thing I can compare it to here is spinach. Yeah.

And a lot of plantains. Plantanes, yeah. Yeah. I love Jamaican food. You do? Oh, yeah. I've been from the East Coast. Yeah, from the East Coast, exactly. And before I ever went to Jamaica, it was being in New York, being in New York City, there were spots that, oh, I forget, what was the name of it? There's, uh, there were two locations of it, Negril. The grill. The grill. Uh, on, on West third, right?

On, on West third. And there was one on 23rd Street also. Yeah. On the west side. And, uh, my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, um, when we were kind of like, you know, beginning comedy, like pretty young. and we used to go there all the time. Yeah.

And we were the only white people in there. And I know why that makes me laugh. I've been to the grill there, but yeah. And it made us feel like, oh, this is legit. Yeah, because you're hearing Jamaican accents sitting at the table and eating. Totally. Yeah. And the music and the food was so good.

And it was like, yeah, if you walk in to a place called the grill and it's nothing but white people from the village. Yeah. You're like, you know, what is it? Is this the Chipotle of Jamaica? Like, what are we doing? The Chipotle of Jamaica food? That's funny. So it felt legit.

And then when we went to Jamaica, it confirmed it. Like, it was so good. So fresh. But what a confusing place, too, because it's so beautiful. And there's so many people with no money. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of those just those island nations that, just economically it's like it always seems to be stuck in this one in this one place yeah there's this

uh i mean they have that financial imbalance here and then i don't know it's like every country advertises itself a certain way so when you go there you're expecting to only see that way right and then when you go and see poverty like they never mentioned poverty that wasn't in the brochure. In the brochure. So it's always, it's always a shock. Yeah. Because you only think of that place as a place for, you go to vacation. Right, right. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, but you're right. I mean, it is everywhere. Yeah. You never see when in the American brochure, you don't see what we see. Like a lot of Americans are like upset that there's so many immigrants or people come in here. And it's like, do you understand that in all over the world you advertise America as the land of milk and honey

and anything is possible and Lamborghinis and blondes and palm trees and huge ass house houses and people make it so you you keep putting that out people are going to want to come here yeah of course you know what I mean yeah we're going to want to come here yeah and and and and and no matter how poor they are here, they were poorer where they came from. For sure. And there's jobs here that pay little, but it's more than, yeah. And they're like, I'll just save. I don't get all those things that I came here to get. Right. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah, absolutely. So America, you got to stop advertising if you want. If you don't want people to come here. It's like what I always tell people when I perform in Denver. I'm like, you guys, you're a little too,

you're a little too braggy. I'm like, if you. Yeah. If you. You, you, you, you're, You know what you've got. Keep quiet about it. Keep quiet about it. It's not bragging America. Now you got your mouth. Now you got traffic. Yeah.

Yeah. Like people aren't stupid. Yeah. You're giving away stock tips America. You're the hot country to come to. Yeah. The motherfuckers are going to come here. They're going to keep coming.

So who from your family came? All in my, you know, what they call it? all the members of the nuclear family. Yeah. Mother, father, my brother, and my two sisters, and me. And how old were you then? Yeah, I was like 17. Okay, so you're only in Jamaica for junior high high school.

Yeah. Well, elementary, went to elementary school and high school. Okay. The schooling's a little different. It's like, you go from elementary school, you stay to like 11, and then you go to high school. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Got it, got it.

And then where did you come? Did they come West Coast? Yeah, East Coast. East Coast. Long Island. Oh, okay. And then, so you start comedy there? Yeah, start comedy there.

Like at Governor's Comedy Club. No. Yeah. Yeah. That was my home. Yeah. Talk about poverty. They don't put governors in the brochure of comedy.

I know. It's a good club, though. It's a great club. It's great. That's funny. Because, yeah, it's not like a club that I haven't been there in decades. Yeah. But I remember, you know, Jimmy, I think that was the owner at the time.

He was mad cool. And then you could, as a 20-something-year-old comic. Yeah. You know, as 20-year-old, you're just looking for shit to do. on the weekend. Right. But as a 20-something-year-old comic, you could go to governors on the weekend and watch the show.

And they would bring in, like, major headlines that people are on TV. Everybody. So I was like, what are my other friends who are not in comedy doing now? I don't know what they're doing. Right. But I'm watching people straight off TV shows. Yeah. Doing out.

Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, that was great. They let us come in and do that. that was dope. The best. So where was the inkling of getting into comedy in the first place?

There was none. There was none. None, none at all. Someone made you do it? No, it was... Yeah, my dumb self. I talked me into it. But so I used to watch, like, comics and stuff on TV.

And I used to think, that's some shit. you have to be born with and have the talent to do. So I never considered myself. I was like singing, this is how my mind used to work. Yeah. I was saying you probably could fake it, you know? I don't know how, but you probably could. There's probably some singers that are not that good.

Yeah. But every comic that I knew then was funny, I was like, you can't force people to laugh or make them to laugh. Right. So you had to be good. Yeah. I just never thought that. Yeah.

But then I tell this story a lot. This is a guy's name is Greg Ellis. And we actually went to the same high school. Right. We worked at the same Burger King. But he was funny as shit. And we just used to laugh. And he used to make fun of people.

Right. And we used to laugh. And the shift time would just go fast. Yeah. So then I was like, why don't you try to be funny? to like make friends and just have a fun of life. Right, right.

So then I used to like watch him and figure things out and then joke around and shit. So then I became the second funniest person that burned again. It's great. So after I got that unofficial title that I gave to myself, and they put me on drive-through to take orders. Yeah. I was like, the only way I can catch up to Greg and get the, The title of first funnier is if I just work out my improv skills on these strangers to give,

giving their order. So then I just like come up with shit when people were giving their order. I got a mic. I'm just clowning. I can't even see them. They come around to get their food. And then one car had this guy and said, hey, did you take my order? And I was like, yeah.

He said, you're funny, man. You should do comedy. And he said it. And I was like, oh, shit. Really? Yeah, that should... It's weird, but I... Yeah.

I couldn't tell you what this guy looked like if I saw him again a hundred times. Right. But I took his advice. But he changed my life. Yeah, he changed my life. Literally. Yeah, yeah. That's all you wanted to hear.

Just tell me something. Tell me I got something. Yeah, yeah. From my... I don't know. This guy has the worst taste. He's all sarcastic. You should go in comedy.

Ha ha ha ha ha, ha, Give me my fries. He did snatch the bag. And peel out. And you're there. I'm going to go into comedy. I'm going to change my life. That's hilarious.

Did you, so governors was your first spot? Yeah. I went there, checked out some mics. Yeah. Because I knew it was there because there was like a tri-county, flea market in the front. of the parking lot where it was at. And we used to like spend our checks,

Burger King checks in that, the county flea market in the East Meadow. So I knew the club was like behind it. Right. So it was just like, all right, let's go that. Everything was set up. Yeah. Everything was set up.

All we need now is real snow coming down. Yeah, yeah. It's a miracle story. Everything was set up for me to ruin my life. So might as well walk the path, the easiest path. when you left when you came when you came to the states where you were your parents still was your mom still cooking was she did you bring that food were you yeah she still kept the connection yeah she still cooked on our weekends and she killed it what was your favorite like what was the thing that

if it was Ian's birthday or or there was a holiday it's just she just she's hilarious she would experiment. I don't know because she, you know, like how you like making bread. So you enjoy it. Right. Yeah. And I would think after like working all week, right? The last thing you do want to do is like work in the kitchen. Right. But not only was she like making food, but she'd like experiment and try new shit. So she had the energy or the drive or I don't know what it is. It was a passion. Yeah, a passion. Yeah.

So lasagna. I probably was 18 the first time I tried lasagna. Right. Lazzania is not a Jamaican dish. There's not a lot of lasagna in Jamaica. It's not about lasagna. They're not walking down the beach serving up. Scooping up.

scooping lasagna into your curry going. A lot of lounge chair hands going up. I'll take the lasagna. Yeah. It's not kind of Jamaican. Yeah. So it wasn't that. Yeah.

So lasagna and just anything like different types. She'd make cheesecake, carrot cake. Wow. She was good. Yeah. She'd go off in the kitchen, man. Wow, that's great. Yeah.

Now, it is a passion. It becomes a thing. Like you literally, I think about that sometimes. Like, I'll come back. from the store, the comedy store and everyone's got to get to sleep or if I have an appointment and I've got and I'm in the kitchen baking. It's bananas, man. And it's like, what am I, like, if I didn't do this, I'd have plenty of time to make this

appointment. Like, I have people waiting for me to do the radio show or whatever. And I'm like down to the second making sure that the mix is done and get it. And it's, but I don't really think of it as like a chore. It's not even a thought. No. So that's how it must have been. for her.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you get excited because you're giving it to people. That's a big part of it is that you're sharing it with people. Like when I knew, I knew that we were meeting up today. And I've been baking a lot recently. And I kind of like was done with a cycle of trying new things out. And then I was like, oh, no, wait.

I have Ian on Wednesday. Right. I got to go, I have to go see him. And then you have to start doing the math back. And you're like, all right. So I've got to feed this. feed this sourdose starter and get the thing proofed through midnight and then make sure that I can get up, shape it in the morning. So I can bake it at 12 as soon as I get off the radio show.

I'll take a break before at 1145. I'll tell them I need a second. I'll heat the oven. So when I get off the air, I'll run in and then put them right in. So in that hour, I can get that baked before I come and. sit down with Ian. That's bananas, bro. But it's exciting because you're like, oh, because I know Ian talked to Rogan and Rogan's

complimented the bread and Ian said, I hear your bread's good. So I can't give you lame bread. Yeah. I've got to know that this. I've got to live up to it. And it'd make you happy. And yeah, so it's just kind of like, it is this work like your mom, but it's not work. I guess that's how

when I think about comedy you know it's like if I it's a good thing it was a lot of work especially the bombing to get better yeah and but it just was like

this is a necessary thing I have to go through and then even as far as like my mother cooking like so we had this house in Long Island and that she would like to like have party. So like 4th of July. I think it was a 4th of July.

She had a barbecue. Right. And I swear to God, bro. She made this pink potato salad. And then she told me to invite as many friends.

So I invited a bunch of comics like Dean Edwards. And like any comic that came. And that was like that much. might have been 15 years ago. Right.

And some of those people I don't see all the time. I mean, I'll talk to on a regular basis, but there's other people, you know, talk to like, unless it's every other five years. Right. And I swear, if they was at that barbecue, there's like, yo, your mother's pink potato salad. I swear they bring that shit up. And then I tell her. Yeah. So she'd make stuff like that.

That's amazing. That's so crazy. It's so great. That really is so great. The pink potato salad. I don't know if I would remember it. I remember seeing it. I remember it was the debut because you never made that before.

It was the debut of the pink potato salad. It was probably a mistake. What the hell? Fuck it. Came out pink. What did I put in here? The beats, mom, the beats. I think you should put beats in it.

That shit is a hit, bro. Everybody talks about that. No, it's like when you look at it with comedy, like when you look back and you tell your story in your head of like where you've gone and what you've done, it almost seems, I'm sure it's the same for you. It almost seems insane. We were crazy.

It's the amount of driving, the amount of tolls. No pay. No pay. Like driving hours to get on. for 10 minutes and getting no money and coming back home. All clubs that are empty. Nobody is. For three people or just comments.

Yeah. For years. For years. And having a bombing. Domining. I mean, staying in your friend's apartments. I mean, crazy. Where did I get the money from to continue?

Right. Exactly. And who was hiring me? I didn't even know what I was doing yet. Yeah, yeah. And I was doing shows for people. Yeah. But then you look, but when you look back at it.

It's like, oh, that's impossible. It's insane. But when you were in the middle of it. Right. It's the greatest thing in the world. Greatest thing and the most normal, natural thing to do. 100%. Yeah, yeah.

There was never a thought. Like, I got to stop doing this. No. Right? Never. Never. Never, bro. Never.

Like when that guy said that thing to me. Yeah. In my head, I said, that's what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. He said it, and that was my response to it. Right. And I. Yeah. It's the best thing I ever heard in my entire life.

That's amazing. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But it only, it's only because it lined up and that you, that is really what your destiny was. Yeah, yeah. You do when you talk to people, like, that are starting out and they're like, yeah, I might, or I maybe. There's no.

I have another, you know. Right. It's only a matter of time. You're not going to be here long. Yeah. I'm single, right? Mm-hmm. But if I meet a woman and feel the same way I felt about comedy when that guy said that,

then I'm marrying her. I don't even believe in marriage. Right. But I know what that feeling about doing the right thing is. Right. When destiny smacks you in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that.

Why don't you believe in marriage? Because most of the marriages around me, don't work out. Right. You know, there are some beautiful ones. Like, I don't talk to you a lot about your marriage, so I don't know how it's going. But, like, Rogan's marriage and Greg Fitzsimmons' marriage

is romantic as fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good. I like the way Greg talks about his marriage. Like, we've been in some writers' rooms together. He's like, I've got to go, I'm going to put a move on the wife.

And anybody who wants to do that with someone they've been. with so long. Right. I'm like, fuck it. That sounds great. Yeah. That works. Yeah.

Did you ever come close? To get married? No, I don't think, no. No. Did it work out for your folks? Yeah. I mean, to a point, yeah. Yeah, to a point.

Yeah. Did they stay together? Yeah. I mean, my father died. Mm-hmm. So they never broke up. Right. On the technicalities.

It's one way to get out of it. You know, my mother. got out of it that way. Died or was murdered. That's why he doesn't want to exhumed a body. Kid and mom, just kidding. Yeah. No, it's when it does work, and I'm in the same boat.

And there's only a handful. There's like Gaffigan, you know, there's like a people that we came up with who got married and we've been we're at 21 years and I'm talking about it on stage now that it's like if you do find it it actually for myself it made life so much easier oh yeah yeah because there's you take that whole it's it's like you gives you something to work towards it it eliminates all of the guessing and figuring out if they're happy or you're happy it's just like you're just you're in it. You now have this track that you're living in.

And it's fun and it's in like all that other being single and trying to and trying to have having that part of your life completely open with all these options and questions. Right. It's just exhausting. No, listen, you can waste a lot of time being single. Right. Because I've probably wasted most of my time like trying to find a right. woman or trying to find a wrong woman right yeah because sometimes you do intentionally try to find the wrong person especially when you have a mind like mine and you're not trying to settle down right

i've run from a few women that i felt might be the right woman uh-huh you know i've definitely done that oh yeah yeah because it started to get you felt yourself being drawn in this feels too right i'm out how dare you oh really fucking dare you be the right woman you know i'm trying to be single out here Why don't you go find a wrong person like everybody else? You need a guy driving by like the drive-thru going, Marrier. Shit, that's you again. Imagine he hasn't aged.

Who are you? Still eating fries. And give me my order. This fucking guy. Well, it's also your nature. Like, you're obviously very comfortable being single. And I wasn't built that way. Right, right.

You know. Can I tell you a crazy thing? Yeah, please. So here's, so here's the crazy thing is when I was a kid, I was watching TV. And there was, I don't remember what show. It was like a movie. And it was like a bunch of people, young people in their 20s or early 30s. And they were having a dinner party and they were drinking wine.

They were eating. There was candles on the tables, a long table is a bunch of them. Right. And they were just like eating and laughing and drinking. Uh-huh. And I was like, that's how, like six or seven. I said, that's how I want my life to be. Uh-huh.

I never want to be married. I just want to be out with friends all the time and doing that, right? Yeah. At six and seven. Six or seven. And I remember that, right? Right, yeah. And then, and this is so six and I'm not thinking about comedy or anything.

But then only a few years ago did I realize that's what I've been doing. Right. Because as a comic, you're out with your friends every night after show. Right. You're going to all these restaurants late night. You're eating, you're laughing, and you're fucking talking. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, shit, that's the thing that I thought of.

Yeah. Is so that's. You made it happen. I made it happen or it was going to happen or it was whatever I, but it was when I saw that or that six or seven, it's the same thing I felt when the guy said the comedy thing. Right. Like that's for me. Yeah.

And there's no doubt that's for me. Right, right. So when you decide what you're going to eat that day, it's just you don't even have to say it out loud. You don't have to say it out loud. to ask what other people feel like having. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just say in your head, I'm going to go eat this now. Yeah, yeah.

And it happens. That is such a simple life. We got in a war the other night. Hellaric. Two daughters didn't want to order the same thing. Like I'm letting them, we're going to order in tonight. We're going to, I'm not going to cook. We're going to, what do you want?

The war. I don't want that. get that every time? It went on for an hour. Damn. Within that hour, you would have cooked. Cooked. And gone out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it's hilarious. Eat the food to let those and served the homeless and been back in bed. Oh, man. It's so funny. 18 and 19 and 16. 19 and 16. Yeah.

Yeah, they just had birthdays. Oh, cool. And yeah, it's a very, you know, everybody has their own stuff. Everybody likes their own things. And it's very, and sometimes they go, they say the opposite just because the other one said they wanted something. I want pizza. Well, I don't want that. If we had started with you, you might have said pizza.

I know it. But because she said pizza. You should make them write it down on a piece of paper and slide it to you. And it always be the same thing. it's a great idea and then never tell them what it is and then just order it's a great idea so i always talk i always i always i always um there's two things i always say about you when i'm talking uh comedy one is a joke and one is uh is uh just a like a a wise tale because you uh you're so damn funny and you have and you have and you have

And you're able to, and you're a great writer. And because you're a great writer, you've gotten a lot of gigs and been able to go write. But I remember, I think it's because there were two gigs that you were on where you were leaving because you were going back to stand up. Okay. Yeah. And not a lot of people do that.

And I always admired it because it was like, oh, he really knows exactly that being a comedian is his first love. Right, right. Is that still true? Yeah, but then the pandemic hit. Mm-hmm. And then I was home. First of all, being on the road, it's tiring.

Yeah. So that's tiring. But then when the pandemic hit, for me, hit at the right time. Mm-hmm. I was running around. Yeah. So it was good to take the break. Yeah.

And then it was good to know as a, I'm diversified and entertainment. so that I can be like, I can make some money writing now while I'm home. Yeah. So that was a blessing for sure. While other people were, you know, were unable to. Yeah. So I'll never take that for no options. Like some writing gigs came in and I could just stay home and do them on Zoom.

That's great. And that was like not a realization, but it's just like, wow. Yeah. Again, the guy on the drive-through. said that thing and then a pandemic hits and then I could still make some money doing that. No, that was that was a huge thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

No, because it was, you know, that part dried up and it was interesting because when did you start? You started in stand-up. You started in- I always like try to bury that. You do? Yeah, I would just, let's just say we start around the same time. We started around the same time. Yeah, because that's pretty.

Yeah. And we, and, and, uh, that's funny. And, uh, I don't like hearing out how old I am. Yeah, I know. So, 55 years. And, uh, a hundred, 100. But it, everybody that was really good and has been working really hard, that, that, that year was stopping for a minute.

It was the only way we were going to stop. Yes. Yeah. It was the only way we weren't going to say yes to every single gig that came through and get another plane and go and just hustle. Right. And it was, it was, you know, it was, you know, it was. It panned out in different ways for different people.

But for people like ourselves, it was kind of a nice thing. All right, let's catch your breath and then go back at it. Have you done sets since we've come back? Yeah, yeah. And I was doing sets. You were assuming. I started doing, I did some Zoom. Some people are like, I don't want to do a Zoom.

It's like, just do it. Yeah, just do it. Yeah, right. Yeah, just try it all. Like, what if the world doesn't come back, and you have to do zooms. Yeah. And you're behind everybody who's zooming.

Yeah, it's another set. Just another set. Just try it. So I did those. And I only did like one or two of them. Yeah. Or maybe three of them. And then a friend of mine, Mark Hayes, he's a newer comic, but he hustles.

He started doing jam in the van and some other outside shows, what he loved. He even did the outside spots at the Buffalo Wild Wing. patio in North Hollywood. And those shows were actually decent. So at first I knew I was going to get out of comedy shape, but it's like, why worry everybody's going to be out of comedy shape?

Yeah. But then when he started doing those, I was like, let me come by and check it out. My other one boy was doing Loki outside. That's Paul Eliah. So he was doing that with Matt and Matt Rife. And so I just started doing those shows enough to like get my bearings back.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you feel like, has it changed your perspective at all now, going back inside? And did it change your outlook on stand-up at all? Yeah, because it freed me up. I'm always been looking for like this freedom on stage. Yeah. Sometimes you catch it, and then sometimes it leaves, and you're doing it and you're doing well. But there's just something you know you're not doing.

Yeah. There's a way you're not doing it. And with the pandemic, especially when I hadn't done it for months, which is like, you know, we're from New York. So we're built on the repetition of doing things. But then the freedom of knowing, letting myself know, I'm going to mess up tonight. And the part of like, yeah, so what? Don't worry about it. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. I have the same exact experience. Yeah. That is the biggest change. Yeah. And it made me better. Right. Yeah.

So crazy. Crazy. Yeah. And I hope we can hang on to it. That's what I'm trying to do. And the other night, I caught myself at the store not hanging on to that. I'm trying to do a set where, bam, I know this boom. Hit them here.

Yeah. And I was like, I listened to the thing. And I was like, you're letting go of that thing. You're locking in. You're locking in. You're delivering. So then I just realized. Yeah.

Relax. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Relax. Yeah. And the good thing or the thing that I'm trying to say, and it's because like when we came back, it was like, oh, turns out we know how to do this.

Right. Like within a set, you're like, oh, I'm still funny. I know what I'm doing. I could take a break because we used to terrified if you had a, two weeks was like your career's over. Yeah. Three days and a. row you were like rusty yeah like you thought you were rusty and then after this is like months and

you're like no i i know what i'm doing i can i can i'm funny yeah you start i deserve i deserve to trust myself yes when you're on stage but then you stand up there and you're trusting yourself and no one's laughing and the guy before he just crushed and you're like well that idiot just crushed because he didn't trust himself yeah and now i got to break out my shit and and start pounding and let this audience know I know what I'm doing. I was talking with Rory Scoville the other day. He just released a thing on YouTube where he was just going up for six nights in a row. He went up with no material.

And it wasn't crowd work. He was just going to perform, use this freedom, and just not do bits. And just do, just be up there. Right. And you talk to him. it's like he found the fountain of youth or something. Yeah, yeah. He's so excited.

Yeah. And he's telling me, it's like someone who tried a new drug and they want you to try it. They're like, no, dude, you've got to take this. You're going to, you are going to love it. Yeah, yeah. And it really is. It's the blue pill, or is it the red stuff? Right.

But it's one of the pills. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really unique. It's really this cool thing. And it's really profound because it's, you know, people who started like you and I, like, around the same time.

We're all in that same rhythm. We all went through these things and got better. And you do get locked in. We all went through these same rhythms. Yeah, we work so hard to get better. We don't want to risk. Yeah. Relaxing.

Right. But that's going to make you even better than you were. It's going to make you even better, yeah. Mm-hmm. We only know the way that we got the way we are. Right. But there's now if you, but we know there's more. Mm-hmm.

But now we have to believe the way to get to more is actually the reverse way of how we got to where we are. Right. Yeah. It's kind of like you won't know this because you're from Jamaica. But it's kind of like when you drive in the snow and they say like your instinct, if you start sliding, you're supposed, your instinct is to turn out. Right.

Get away out of trouble. And that's going to make you slide even more. And it's going to mess you up. Yeah. So you've got to turn into it. Go with it. It's against your instinct. Right.

But it's the way to safety. It's kind of intuitive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know that from like driving. driving in New York. Right, right.

That's right. You drove. I was only kidding. That's right. I drive. You never saw snow. I'm seeing snow. God damn it, Tom.

But like I have friends that do jujitsu. Yeah. And then some of the things that they tell me, I'm lazy. I won't go do it, but I'll just listen to them and think I know it enough to protect myself if something happens. I just make notes in my head. Yeah. A lot of stuff is like counterintuitive, but in jiu-jitsu.

Right. And it works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's very similar. Yeah. You ever go back to Jamaica? I went like five years ago for a family reunion.

Oh, yeah. I'm planning another one. How was that? They're planning how was it going back? How was the reunion? That was dope because when I was growing up, I couldn't afford to like go to a resort. Mm-hmm. So there were two parts of the reunion.

One was we met the first. the family met in Spring Village where my mother and her grandparents grew up. So I didn't go to that part. But there was a part when they met at the resort for like a week. I went to that part. Oh, really? I just wanted to like live the Jamaican resort life, the type of life that I've seen people who come to Jamaica to visit.

Yeah. You know what I mean? How was it? Was it weird being in the resort? No, man. You loved it. Food and time. But it wasn't your mom's food.

It wasn't as good either, but it was close enough. Lazzania in the lounge chair. Oh, it's great. It is so beautiful there. Yeah, yeah. So do you consider yourself, what do you consider yourself? Do you have a... If I don't say Jamaican, you get killed.

But I don't want to limit my identity. Right. You know what I mean? So I would just say like a world person. Fuck it. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

That's good. Yeah. I always say I'm Italian because I just love Italians. And I'm not even all Italian. I have one German. Yeah, one German. I think I see it. That's all you see.

I know, the damn German jeans. Strong. Strong. Strong as jeans. Because I'll say I'm Italian and they're like, uh-huh. And. And Irish? Yeah, no, I just want to be Italian.

I couldn't say I'm a world person. I get to. uncomfortable in parts of the world that I don't know what's going on. I always want to be cool. Limited world person for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a resort world person. I go from resort to Zort around the world. Yeah. I've been there. No, you know, they really just becomes the, as you live and travel. Do you get to travel around the world a bunch? Yeah. So, you know, it's, it's just, it's the unknown. It's right. It's the unknown. And then once you start doing it, and the world does become more open and comfortable to you.

Yeah, yeah. What are some of your favorite places you've ever been? So it's funny, the year of the pandemic, I was touring with Tosh in the beginning of the year. So it went to Hawaii, which I always like going to Hawaii. Yeah, it's the best. Then we went to Australia, went to Sydney, Melbourne. I forgot the other place. But on the way back, because it was on a private jet.

needs to refuel and you can't go all the way from Australia back to California. We stopped in Fiji for three days. Like on a private island. Oh, man. Oh, I think he sent me a picture of Arlo surfing there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Did he bring his son? Yeah, son Arlo met Arlo.

Fiji was like... Was that insane? Yeah, but I only know the resort side of Fiji. That's all you should now. Thank you for giving me confirmation. Absolutely. That was dope. Was it?

Yeah, it was just, just chilling, man. Yeah. That's amazing. I've never been there. It looks amazing. Yeah, it's like, it's a place I would never think to go. Yeah. But I was like, oh, this island is lit.

It's so great. A bunch of islands, but the island I was on, like, we flew to Fiji. Mm-hmm. And then we got on one of those planes that land in the water. Oh, yeah. To get to the island resort. island that we stayed three days at oh my god and then uh yeah that is sweet so i'm not complaining about that why don't you just start ian point oh and dethrone daniel right and take me to fiji

sounds good to me long as i get to go and the other thing the the the the joke that I always butcher when I tell people is your joke about the Michael Jackson documentary. Oh, yeah, that's funny. Such a funny joke. Oh, thanks, yeah. It's so good. Because he comes up in conversation a lot because people talk about those documentaries and about whether or not Michael's canceled and can you still listen to Michael.

And your joke about when you just stood at Largo is where I first saw it and you just tell all those people, if you were. watch that Michael Jackson documentary and you still listen to Michael's music, you're a garbage person. I have no respect for you. You are terrible. I can listen to Michael's music all I want because I will never watch that documentary. It's so simple. It's so simple and true and funny. It's so good. There's always the simple ones and shit. Yeah. Do you still do it? Yeah, I mean, I haven't done it. I only do it when I do long sets.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, when you're breaking everything out. Yeah, because if you get a headline, you got to need everything. Yeah. Everything in your arsenal. That's right. To do all that time.

Yeah. But yeah. That's so funny. It's so good. Well, you are one of my favorites. And this was really nice to sit down with you because I realized on my way here that I didn't really know your story. I knew, like, I knew kind of where you came from and stuff. But, you know, until you could actually sit down and, like, do this, you don't get to really, like, you're never in, like, the hallway of the cellar saying. So what was your mom like? Because you don't want to be ridiculed. What are you doing? Interview? This is a podcast? It's like, it's like, I saw a photo of, like, Keith and him at dinner.

Yeah. They sent a message to you. So we'll end up in scenarios like that at the cellar and talking. So it's, it's in groups. Right. But you're never really getting to know certain people individually. Right, exactly, exactly. And no, you're just, you're always been one of my favorites and thanks for doing this. Hey, man, you're one of my favorites too, man. I was just thinking about it in the bathroom, like we're very similar. Observational, what is the term I thought of?

Observational. Fuck, I forgot. Come on. It sounded like it was going to be a big deal. Yeah. Damn. I'll call you and tell you. after what I remember.

Was it? What was it? Like it was a great way to describe comedy? Your comedy and my comedy. Oh, I think the word was awesome. Yeah, awesome. Yeah. The coolest.

All right, Ian. Thank you so much, man. All right, thanks, brother. All right. Aaron, we're done. Get me out of here, Aaron. Get him out of here. worst time his vitamin D is wearing off.

Zinc, the zinc. Of the zinc. I need to zinc up. There you have it. That was the great Ian Edwards. Thank you, Ian for being here. And thank all of you for the credit karma. And now it's time to grab a quick bite.

Love when we have a chance to make these calls and just get somebody on the line. And Chris DiStefano is great. He's going to be a guest on our podcast soon. and now to get a quick bite with him, he's just a comedy force. He's got his own great podcast, and he loves Italian food. Hearing him talk about Italian food,

it makes you think, why would I ever eat anything but? A great comedian, a great friend, let's get on the line with Chris DiStefano. How's it going, buddy? Good. How are you, babe? I miss your voice. I miss you, too. It's been crazy. Every time I'm in New York, you're in L.A. and vis-a-vis.

And these and these, well, it's good to be near you, kind of. I know. What have you eaten today? Actually, today I've had nothing. I just had an ice coffee and I went for a walk jog like a senior citizen and I and I lifted some weights because I've been eating, I've been eating very, very, very, very, very poorly the last week and a half. So I've tried to do better. But now I'm on the Aroma Cafe website.

side here and I'm looking to get the Coronitas Benedict, which is slow cooked caranitas, peppers, onions, and two poached eggs on a twid shabata, but I will have that with a Diet Coke. Nice. That sounds beautiful. When you go off and you're eating bad, what does that mean

for a week and a half? Like, okay, so, like, I would say, okay, so like yesterday, so two days ago, I ordered from Marie's Italian Kitchen in LA and I got tortellini Alfredo with grilled chicken, garlic knots, and a tiramisu.

And, yes, then for breakfast, the very next morning, I had bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with an ice coffee black. I don't want to get the calories from the milk and the sugar. And then I went to Laurel Canyon, and I had the Laurel Canyon cheeseburger with waffle fries and a peanut butter beer. And then I went to a cookie sandwich with, you know, dark chocolate Nutella flavored ice cream. It was just a two chocolate chip gluten-free.

cookies. Do you know, do that Tom, or do I actually have an eating disorder? No, I think that's exactly, that is totally human nature. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you know, everybody kept telling me about intermittent fasting. Only seems like you just don't eat

breakfast, you don't really eat lunch, and then you just go completely insane at 5 o'clock. I just have my second child, she's only three weeks old. Congratulations. Thank you. Well, paternity test, Penn.

but it feels like it's mine. And I think I've kind of given up now on trying to be like ripped or like any of that stuff. I'm kind of just be decent, my blood pressure to be, you know, as good as it can be and then, you know,

not going to be ripped at all. Like it's just not... Yeah. Because it was going to happen, man. It would have happened already. Like, it just would have happened. The only way it's happening now is if we decide to go like human growth hormone.

I mean, well, like, look, if I ever got like a part to do like in like a movie or something like that, needed to be shredded. I would, I would, I would use steroids. I did them when I was 19, I'll do them again. Oh, you did? Did it work? Because, again, like, you know, I never got, I never really got in shape.

I think literally, because I took them when I was 19, and I still, to the day, have, like, fat puffy nipples on, like, an enlarged left tit, and I think it's from... That's the strangest steroid results I've ever heard. Yeah, I never, I never, ever, ever got ripped. So, you know, I mean, I don't know where.

I know, I know it's the Freddy or as Jerry Seinfeld called me and told me that he, you know, he's still hanging out like the 9-11, a number on YouTube, and he called me and we were like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And he still, and now he's just had to text me back in a year and a half, and I've asked him twice feel like to get coffee, and he just left me on red. So do something like that to get along with his time. Did you, did you, I know you're tight on time, so let me just ask you this one last question.

Did you celebrate the Italian win yesterday? No, because I was on my set of my fucking dumb, stupid-ass TV show, Backyard Bar Wars, which airs every Thursday at 10.30 p.m. on True TV, this fucking TV show, that I couldn't watch, I couldn't watch Italy, my people win. But I'm pretty sure. I have to say, it was really fun and it was really wonderful. And it was great to see Italy win. But your show, I saw the trailer for your show. It looks really great. And I'm not just blowing smoke. I appreciate it, man. I really appreciate it. I really. appreciate it. I, uh, it's fun, you know, it's a fun thing to do. Um, uh, and you're funny on it.

You're funny. Like there, it's, it's, it's like a good, it seems like it's a good setting for you. You're really off the cuff and funny. And it's like your, your stand-up kind of expressed in a, in this fun show. I like it. Yeah. So I got to be honest. I'm being honest. Like True TV has really, really, really let me be me, which I'm really, you know, appreciate it. Because a lot of that, they won't let it. No. All right, buddy. Well, I'm going to let you go. You. You're too scared. All right, you go. You. make some more TV and we've got to hang out when we're on the same. I love you, Tom. I love you too, buddy. There you have it, everybody. Thank you to Chris. Always funny. Make sure you follow him on social media and see his tour. He's out there killing it right now. Ian Edwards, the same thing. Thank you to Ian. Thank you to credit karma. And thank you to all of you. As we said in the beginning, I hope you're

enjoying your summer. Make sure you like this podcast. Subscribe. Give us all the hearts and loves from wherever you're listening. If you're watching us on YouTube also, it really helps to spread the word as this community continues to grow. You guys are the best. We'll see you next time.