Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 65 - Jessimae Peluso

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

I'm joined by an Italian American angel, comedian and host of The Sharp Tongue Podcast, Jessimae Peluso. We talk comedy and all things Italian food and family. And look for her new show, Tattoo Redo, on Netflix. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey! sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey. Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. Thank you for joining me today. This is going to be a great one. Way to hear this conversation with the great Jesse May Paluso. She is so funny. She's a great comedian, a great host. She's got her own podcast. She's

hilarious and Italiano. And we really dive into our history as Italian-born-and-bred people. So much in common, you're going to love it. It's so great. I want to make a quick note to let you know that my family reunion tour is on sale now. We are going everywhere. We're going to Atlanta. We're going to Stewart, Florida. We've got a big show coming up in the end of August in New Jersey, part of the Count Basie Theater. We've got the NJ. Pack. We've got so many shows. Tarytown, New York. It goes on and on. There's so many shows. Go to tompapa.com and look up where I am coming near you. Great shows. It's so exciting to be back out. Also, we have a new podcast called, Star Stripes and Maple Leafs, where I explore with my friend Sarah Singer-Shiff,

all things Canadian and American. And I wouldn't say we battle because that would be unfair, because, you know, I'm from the United States. And I know a lot of people say maybe we're not number one, but if you're going to be in an argument in a podcast with your good friend, you don't want to just say that they're number one. So you've got to dig in and you've got to say that you're the best, and that's what I do to Sarah. It's a very funny podcast. It's really fun. I love everything Canadian. I miss Montreal desperately. This is two years in a row that I have not been in Montreal for the Just for Laughs Festival, and it's killing me. I contact my good friend Bruce Hills, who runs that festival up there, and I talk to him every single week, just because I miss being there

so much and we just talk about wine and we talk about what we're drinking and eating and we literally talk just about every week and it's not really he's a great guy I'm enjoying it but it does not satisfy being back in that country so hopefully we'll be there soon I think October I'm doing a show in Toronto so hopefully that'll hold and I'll get my butt up there but it's a very funny podcast stars stripes and maple leaves go check it out wherever you're listening to this just slide on over and pick that up and let us know what you think. The feedback is always wanted. Thank you so much for checking that out.

And the tour. So Jesse May Paluso is a very, very funny comedian. She's so great. She's just a ball of positivity and light and truth. And I don't say that in a cliche way at all. She's just, I mean, I look, I'm biased. anytime I meet somebody that was raised in a big giant Italian family, there's definitely a kinship and there is a shorthand that we share. She's so great. And the stories she tells about her family are hilarious.

The depth of her food knowledge and the roots of celebrating holidays and family, all intertwined and connected to food is just amazing. I'm not going to go on too much at the beginning of this podcast because I want to get to that conversation. She's so great. The one thing I will talk about are guest Vito from Vito's pizza here in L.A., which is the best pizza in all of Los Angeles, hands down of that classic New York style pizza. Jesse May and I are heading over to see Vito's. As of this recording, we're. going in two days and we're very excited. You would think that we were two kids who just got told

by their parents that we're going to Disney World. We're literally just going to a pizza place run by a man who grew up in New Jersey and makes the most amazing pizza on Earth. And we are both going to finish up our stand-up spots and then go meet over there. And I guarantee you it's just going to be a continuation of this great conversation that you're about to hear. She, uh, I've known her after this podcast. I call her a dear friend, and this is going to be a, I'm not even going to ask permission. This is going to be a lifelong friendship that I'm going to cultivate, because it's easy. Whenever you have someone like her who's funny and loves Italian food, all you have to do is keep putting wine and Italian food in front of them and you trap them.

It's very easy. All right, so enjoy this conversation. This is the great Jesse May Paluso. I made this for you. You did? Mm-hmm. This morning. It really looks dangerously delicious. It is.

I feel like you've perfected the, whatever you want to call these. You know, it's funny. It's called scoring, and it releases the air, like it releases the gas, and that's why you get that shape. And today I literally have been just doing it the same way.

And when I was doing it, I was like, I wonder if I should be changing this up. No. If it ain't broke. Yeah. And I was so mad at myself because I look, I love carbs. I'm a Sicilian.

I'm not one of these people who shy away from carbs. Yeah. I grew up on them. I know you can't. You can't. Bread and cheese and sauce? Have you ever tried to stop and then told your family that you're not eating that stuff? They won't talk to me.

Exactly. My dad died because I stopped eating bread and cheese. That's what killed him. You didn't tell me that part. Yeah, he's so stubborn. He just was like, you know what? Was he Sicilian? It was his side? Yeah. Yep, they were Sicilian. Right. And we always, you know, everything revolved around food.

Yes, I know. Food was the centrifugal force of the family unit. Yeah. You can't quit it. You can't. I went vegan for like a minute. I could slap you. For a minute. I'm just kidding.

And that's what everybody in my family said. And then I came home and my wife is a vegetarian. And I was just like, and all it took was walking into an Italian deli. And it was over. It was over. Just seeing everything hanging, the smells of your entire childhood. It's the hanging. Yeah.

It's the hanging. Which normally isn't appetizing to see like stringed cheese and meat hanging. I mean, like, grandma's put that shit in their basement. I know. Just hanging up for a year. Forever. And you're like, yeah, I'll eat it. Yeah, let's eat it now.

I have guanchali in my fridge right now. How is she? She's great. She's so adorable. She must be cold. Because I'm going to make Carbonara. And that's pig cheek. That's guanchali.

I have limits to my. Okay. Well, Hey, man, just stay with me. But, and I was like going to make it last night, but I also had this cut of meat. And I was like, if I don't do that, it's going to go bad. I'm like, is Guanchali okay? So I open it up. it's smoked pork cheek.

Right. It's like this is going to be good 10 years from now probably. It's apocalyptic food. Yeah. You smoke it. It's like good forever. I have a problem venturing into meat where you can point to it. Yeah.

When you can go, it's this. I can't put that in my mouth. Yeah, like a steak, you really don't know exactly where that's coming from. It fell off. Someone chopped it from the inside. But when there's like, liver and tongue, which ironically are, you know, organ meats are the healthiest meats you can eat. Yeah.

I can't. When's the last time you had liver? I don't think I had a, I had one bite. My mother used to love it. Oh, that was a rough one as a kid. It's a texture. The worst. I feel like, I felt like a vampire.

Like, you would have to be a starving vampire for this to be good. It's all about, like, what you're raised on. I know. That's why it's like, I could never. kick bread. And in, I don't know if you've had this problem here in L.A. Yeah. Finding good bread.

Yeah. I know where they are. They've been on this podcast. I need, I need the, that's how like deep. I need the receipts. Yeah, they're like, and they come on, they come on the podcast. And I'm, it's like I'm interviewing Jack Nicholson or Sylvester still. I'm a big fan of your yeast.

Totally. I'm a big fan of your work. And they're like, what are you doing? I'm like, you don't understand. I watch your, everything you do. And I really am. I'm a complete fan. Finding a good bagel is hard.

Finding a good loaf. Had a bagel guy on. Had a bagel guy on. Had a bagel guy on. I need a pizza guy. Vito's. Do you know Vitos? No.

Okay, this is good. This is exciting because it's near the comedy store. It's between a comedy store and Largo. Okay. On Las Siena. Okay. Vito's pizza. It's the best pizza in L.A.

Why? What about it? Because he's from New Jersey. He's from New Jersey. And he doesn't buy into that it's the water. It's just the people and the love and the technique. And I learned it from my grandmother. And I can, I mean, he's just a big gregarious guy. We should go there together.

We should. You would get a kick out of him. I would love that. He's one of the greatest people that you'll ever meet. I would love that. I just love like pizza and red wine are like if I want a night alone. that's what I'm going towards. Beautiful.

A nice bottle. I'm about to blow your mind. Maybe. Because I know you love wine as well. Nero d'avla. Nirodavla. Have you ever had it? I don't know.

I don't know. That's the winery? It's a varietal. Oh, it's a varietal? A Sicilian varietal. Which is sometimes difficult to find. I literally last night had a bottle of Sicilian. It was the best Sicilian I've ever had.

What was it? Lato, Lato, oh. Lactose intoleranceia? I'm going to look it up. Lactose intoleranceia. No, it's like Lato mood or something. It has a, here it is. Lato sued.

Ooh. Here you go. Now why did you, what was it about this wine? Is it? Because there's a coyote on the front in it, and a, wow, that's an interesting label. It looks like the, someone must have died nearby because there's a coyote and like a, talk like a vulture. Oh yeah, you're right.

And a little serpent. Look at the little serpent down there. Sicilians are weird. So... Cicilians are weird. It's an island life. Norello Mascalsi. Ooh.

I love... What did you say? Nero davella. Nero davella. It's a hard red to find, but, you know, we were talking before we started recording about when you travel and that sort of magical thing that happens to your psyche where everything's better. Your senses are heightened and you remember foods more. And I was in this little tiny restaurant that just looked like nothing like most of them do in Rome.

Right. You just wander in and it's the most, I refuse to believe that it is the psychology of travel, that it, it must be how good it is. It is. It has to be, because it was. I'm sure. I'm sure it was. So regardless of the reason why. You're not all, because I've had, I've had, you've probably had bad food in those places. Yeah. Yeah. We had mediocre pizza. I had the same thing in Rome. Yeah.

I had like, I think one of the worst pizzas of my life in Rome. Was it in the gift shop at the Vatican? Here, grab a palple bookmark. What? You can collect them all. I don't want to because they've been collecting things on their own. Yeah. That I'm not too sure about.

I'm not supporting you. If you didn't steal all the art. I wouldn't be in here. Have you gone through? Have you done the Vatican to her? Yeah. Yeah. It's creepy. It is.

It's a little masonry, like, it's all society-ish. Oh, my God. I mean, the ultimate. Yeah. I mean, were you raised Catholic? Not necessarily. My father was, and my mother was, you know, like a little farm girl, like Protestant. So we sort of went towards the more Christian route.

But God left when my. parents separated. Right. So it was not a very religious household. We were more serious about food than anything. Yeah, because I had the Catholic, the Catholic upbringing and there is a connection when you go to the Vatican, like, oh yeah, like it's disturbing and slightly scary. And that's what I love about religion. Like my daughter asked, my daughter asked me to take her, my daughter asked me to take her to this, we went to like a Catholic church and then we went to this, she was just, you know, feeling it out and I was like, I'll go. My wife was like, I'm not going.

And she was Catholic too, and she's like, no. And I'm like, I'll go with you. So we went to the Catholic church. And then we went to this Christian place and this little Christian place in Studio City and they're playing guitars and no one's dressed in Batman robes and everybody's just all super nice and telling little stories and holding hands. And we left and my daughter was like, that was nice. And I was like, that was not religion.

No. That wasn't church. I said, where's all the scary stuff? Where's all the, you're bad and terrible? Where's a sinner? Yeah, and where's, where's, they didn't even have Jesus. The uncomfortable seats. It's a king on the cross.

It sounds more like a commune. Yeah. Sounds more like a Manson. It's either a Mason or a Manson. Right. Exactly. It's not really. There's no, like, there's, like I grew up that way and felt like, well, there

shouldn't be any joy in it. Like, and you're lesser than, so when I went to the Vatican, it was kind of like, yeah, I know, it's probably wrong, but, you know, they're watching me, so. Yeah, exactly. And the amount of history and it just feels, it felt to me heavy. Heavy. Walking through the Vatican. Totally, yeah.

Especially, you know, after everything was brought to light. Oh my God, I know. It's like, it's almost, I don't know what else to equate it to other than like, a woman who like me all done up with all my lashes and hair and everything and I'm ready for print and then you strip it all down and I'm just like this troll. Do people still want to talk to me then? Wait, what's the analogy? The darkness that is within the Vatican because of the truth of Catholicism.

Right, right. They're all done up. It kind of, for me it lost a little, the luster wasn't there. It felt tainted. Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. I totally get it. I was like, oh, man, this is kind of dirty.

I know, and they own so much of that. But I'm still going to grab a fucking bookmark. I'll still take it. We were in Rome in this place and we were like last night there. It was like we had traveled all around and it was just one last return to Rome on the way of the airport. So like that one night, like closer to the airport thing. And we walked into this little place for pizza and they put out like. Like, it looked like, like, chef, like, ragu, like, chef boyardie sauce with, like, big chunks of mozzarella.

It wasn't even that melted. And we were just like, what is happening? What is happening? You get to Thurnberg then? How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? My last night in Rome.

It happens. It happens. So your place when you went. Oh, my God. Whatever magical happened. It happened. It was just, what was it? The darkness of it.

the fact that it was bright outside and the inside was just dark and it there was a woman who was working the kitchen and running the food and seating people um she didn't speak any english it was like a complete romanticism of Rome yeah in one little tiny restaurant and we just happened upon it we were just looking for some lunch and this balsamic vinegar I think about And I did take a photo and I deleted it. That's what happened because I was cleaning out my phone. And then I just was like, I'm never going to know. How am I ever going to find that balsamic vinegar?

It tastes, you could drink it. It was just so good. And you were just dipping bread in it? Yeah, just soaking the bread in it. It was the greatest. Have you tried to replicate it? Have you picked up like a fancy bottle of balsamic and given it a shot? No, because I just can't be broken.

I feel like I'll be brokenhearted. No, you got to. Searching for that. No, that's, I mean, what a great search. Yeah. What's the worst that can happen? You have all these expensive balsamic's along the way. I know where the restaurant is.

It's right if you go at the bottom of the Spanish steps and it sort of splinters, all the streets splinter out from there. Yeah. It's like the second street on the right. Oh, man. And it kind of loops around because that's where our hotel was. Right. You could do it.

If someone who put me in Spanish steps, I could find it. So Brad Pitt, whenever you're ready to go on vacation together. Wasn't Stamos your guy? Yeah, but he went and got married and had a kid. Brad's been there, done that. He's on the other side. He's on the other side. Don't you know somebody who knows him?

Like, hook a girl up. You know what? I do. I do have a... What about fucking Vito? We could get to him. But I... That sounds like the beginning of a movie.

One of the most insulting jokes in my last special was about him. and Angelina being married. And I feel like if I ever do meet him, he's probably going to have heard of it. Well, that's okay, because I would imagine he would have a sense of humor about everything. I do too. He seems like he might be, you know,

someone who has a sense of humor. All right. Well, wait, why do we have to get him? He's going to bring us there? No, he's going to be my boyfriend. Oh, he's going to be your boyfriend. Yeah, you can come out of trip. But how's he going to get the basomic vinegar for you?

He'll bring us there on vacation. Oh, he'll probably go north and hang out with Clooney in coma. I'll let them go. He'll drop us in Rome. He'll go hang on Clooney. Happy to do it. Yeah. Leave us in Rome.

I'm sure. Couples need breaks. Yeah. And I'm sure he's got somebody else. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We don't need to know about it. We're not going to ask questions.

Uh-uh. Not at all. We'll be swimming in balsamic. What do we care about that? Yeah, we'll be totally fine. Do you ever do the thing where you get on vacation and you get like, oh, I'm going to work out? Yeah. You know, you get this energy.

Like, oh, I'm in this beautiful place. Yeah. I'm going to go jog. I did that in the Amalfi Coast. Uh-huh. We were staying at this like old nunnery that they had turned into a hotel. Oh, wow.

And or maybe a brothel. I don't know. And I decided to go jogging. Uh-huh. And it was this city that's built into the mountains. Yeah. So all like the houses are carved in. You know, like the stairs.

Yeah. And I'm jogging and I realize it's only stairs through the people's. In the front forches. So I'm jogging up this like janky cement stairwell that's like I have to go around somebody's porch and then through somebody else's front entrance and I couldn't go anywhere but forward or backwards. Oh my God. This American where they're like hot pink sports bra. Some chubby guy to old Italian guys watching this gorgeous woman walk through with his espresso in the morning. This house slippers.

So many women came out in their moomoo's. It's just like it got to fire. I've never been to the Amalfi Coast. Oh, fuck. I've also never been to Sicily. I've never been to Sicily. Really? That's a place I definitely is.

I have to put on the bucket list. I feel like that has to be next. Well, we're both Sicilian. I know. How do we not go back there? I have to go. We have to. And now that we found good wine.

And what was yours again? I'm sorry. Naro dao. It's deep. Aposophy, avala. Avala. It might be devola. You know, people say things differently.

I could be butchering it. I've been trying to learn Italian. A friend of mine gave me an audiobook. Oh, that's funny. So when I drive around. That's great. Yeah. I do the duolingo.

You do? Yeah. I know how to say. Let's do it. Let's have a conversation. Okay. Okay. You say something and I'll respond.

Bonjourno, signorina. Bonjourno, signore. How is that? Um, Um, Uh, Motebeen. And you?

Le? Okay. Um, Um, I'm, Mondea, sugar. Sucero.

Um, I want to eat something? I eat sugar. I eat sugar. I don't know what else to say. You said that you eat sugar? And I don't. I try not to.

We, need to go back to the app. Yeah, I know. Well, we're just starting. Hold on. Let's see. Dove. Dove la via sunset.

Oh, no. Viali. Dove? Dove? Uh-huh. La Valle. Okay. Sunset.

Um, it's that way. Ah, yeah. Where is sunset? Sunset Ave. Oh, shit. Right. I mean, it kind of is that way. You are that, you're right.

But I can't. But you can't. I'm limited. Okay. So if it was here, right. It would be, uh, qui. Qui. Cui.

Okay. There. Like bone quikui, qui. Angelin Johnson's character. Bon quik, queen. Oh my God. So carity. Socarity with her nails.

And bon quay, quay. Which means here, good here, here. Good here, here. Good here. That was pretty good. We did pretty well. And then if it was there, is that Alley? Alay.

Cui? L.A. Yeah, because I think you're right. Right. I think you're right. Yours is much better than mine. I'm barely, I'm eating sugar. You're eating sugar, which is good.

And I know how to say he's a man. Senori. And Uomo. Womo. Womo is like man. Womo. Womo. People listening are like, please.

Give me more. Le capice Italian. You're not looking nothing. You're married. Get your American smutty mind out. We are speaking Italian. Le capicee? Okay, I understand.

Capiche Italian. Oh, a compiche a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, we're doing okay. We're going to Rome. Brad, drop us off at the Spanish stuff. Have you ever been to this little market in Burbank, Monte Carlo?

No, tell me about this little market. It's an Italian market. It's an Italian market and it has this Italian restaurant-ish thing attached to it, more of a pizzeria. Pizzeria is so-so, but the market, like they're importing. Motto-bene. They're importing stuff. Everything's hanging.

and no, you're right. And they're importing stuff, and they have a huge little wall behind you as you're facing the register of olive oils. Ooh. Balsamic vinegar. Yeah. I can kind of picture the bottle.

Yeah. But you know how your memory is distorted. There's so many. There's so many. They all look alike. I know. I just learned that when you're making a salad with it, you should actually use a drop.

of it, use a smaller amount of it in red wine vinegar. So use red wine vinegar and then add the balsamic to it. Why? I don't, because too much balsamic in a salad, I guess is overpowering. Yeah. Just enough is just right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't it amazing how simple a salad dressing can be and how delicious it is?

I know. Like I saw my friend who was a chef at the Federalist in Boston. Uh-huh. Really amazing chef. He just made this amazing salad dressing out of lemon, olive oil, salt, and pepper. And that was it. That was it. And that's what I stick to now.

Like, that's my go-to salad dressing. And is it you're able to- Amazing. Yeah. And then I'll have two pizzas after, but still, it's a healthy salad dressing. I can't wait for you to meet Vito. You're going to love him. I can't wait to meet Vito.

He's so great. I need a good pie. He's a big flirt and he's funny and he's just. Sounds like all my male family members. Yeah. All my Italian family members. So was your father, like, I've seen pictures of him. He seemed like my kind of Italians.

Like, they didn't really look like the Sebastian's of the world. Right. Right. Yeah, he looked like he could be on a package of coffee. Right. He had a very, like, Colombian look to him. Right, yeah. Especially in the summertime, he would get so dark.

Oh, really? Oh, my gosh. Like, his farmer tan, like, it looked like he had a white shirt He would get so dark. And your mom wasn't dark? No, she was like a European mutt. Okay. You know?

Yeah, yeah. She was very melanoma. How did they meet? At a bar. Melanoma. At a bar. And actually, I asked her about this on a podcast. She said, I go, what was the first thing he said to you?

She said something along the lines of if the front looks any, looks half as good as the back. I'm in luck. What a line. And that's what hooked her. If the front looks any half as good as the back. I'm in luck. And then they hooked up that night. She probably made her laugh.

And, you know, she came from a small farm town. Where was this? In Hewleton, New York. That's where my mother was from. Where's that? Exactly. By the finger lakes? That's where it's a, you know, it's up in there.

Up there. It's northern New York State. Right. Kind of near Fort Drum. Okay. And she was, you know, one of seven kids, six, seven kids. Right. And they grew up on a farm.

And, you know, so I'm sure getting attention like that wasn't, it's not the status quo on a farm. Yeah. When you paint the picture, it's like, maybe she didn't laugh. Maybe she was just like, ooh. Yeah. Maybe she was like. That line legitimately worked with no irony. Yeah.

But knowing her how I knew her, she's very sarcastic and funny. So I'm sure she made her laugh. Was she funnier than your dad? They were both funny, but in different ways. He was goofy and very like this affable, entertaining, you know, just very outgoing personality. And my mother was this very a sarcastic, sardonic, witty, just dry, clever rebuttals that would just gut you. She would just say things so just a toss away. and you'd be like,

ah, are you talking about under your breath. Powerful. So you are a proper mix of the two. I think I am. Yeah, your sense of humor at least. I think so.

For sure. I definitely tap into the goofiness more, but as I've aged, you know, I'm definitely into the sarcastic approach to life. Yeah, yeah. Exerting as minimal energy as possible. Yeah, really?

Well, I mean, you know, sarcasm, it's a lower energy. Sure. But you have, you also are pure energy. I am, I am. You also, I mean, you. On stage for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess you end in life too. I have a robust personality. Yeah, you're like a light. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's you can see that. You hear that, Brad? You know what, Brad? Brad's not here. Did Brad bake your bread? He didn't. Could he bake that bread?

He didn't. Is this edible? I'm going to say no. Yes. Okay. Okay. Here's a question. You go to a restaurant.

They put the bread down. Warm bread just, oh. Yeah. It does something to your soul. Oh, my God. So you've got a side of butter, and then they give you an olive oil. Yeah. What do you go for?

Olive oil. Really? Wow. Unless, I'm assuming we're in an Italian restaurant. Yeah. Unless I'm in a French place, that butter is probably going to be pretty special. Really? Are French known for their butter?

Yeah. I didn't know that. So now I'm going to have to go to a French place and get the butter. Yeah. Because bread and butter is my jam, but I'll do both. So, yeah. I'll do both. You do both, yeah.

What, do you have to have one bite? Would you have one bite and walking out of the place? No. It's going to be a while before the food comes. My dad would always stop me from eating the bread because I would fill up on the bread. Yeah. Every time. And he would bitch at me.

You're going to fill up on the bread. So what? So what? Who cares? I'm here to get filled up. Yeah, it's two meals. Yeah, I'll take it home if I don't want it. No, this is, this is, this just came out today.

So it'll be fine. Just throw a towel over it. You don't have to do. Do I get to take this? I made this for you. Oh my God. Yes. This makes me want to cancel my show tonight.

You totally should. Where are you working tonight? Supernova. Oh, supernova. So it's great. I hear it's great. I haven't done it. You have to do it.

I haven't, I don't know who does it. Mark Saratella. Oh, I don't think he's. reached out. Oh, you should. We'll connect you guys. You'll love it. It's a great. It's around. Right. So like your bread. Everybody really likes it. It's fun. Yeah. Where is it? It's a unique show. It's in between two buildings. Right on, um, off of, what should I call it? Be close to my house. Be close to my house. Sunset. Okay. Maybe. Mm-hmm. It's, it's Hollywood. La Via. La Via. La Via. La via. The street. Oh, maybe. I thought you were saying another Italian word.

I was. La Villa. Levia. Yeah. Oh, you thought that was like Hollywood Boulevard? Yeah, I was like what? Tell me your secrets. The street.

Lavia. Lavia. Lavia. What's the main street that goes through Hollywood? Like past a Chinese theater. That is Hollywood Boulevard? It's right off of Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, okay.

It's a dope venue. They book it well. Yeah, yeah. It feels like comedy's back. Yeah. What about the store? I haven't been to the store since before. Since the lockdown?

Oh, really? Yeah. I've done a bunch there. How does it feel? Great. That's good. And just this week, they just started putting regular seating, like, filling in the front rows and everything. I don't know what the fuck happened. Just this past year. I know. And I know everyone's, it's like beating a dead horse. Yeah. But you think about the year, and it's like, what the fuck just happened? It's really, we're definitely digesting it. You know what I mean? It's like when you walk off after doing a day. show and you're like, okay, and then it's not till like the next morning you realize exactly what went down. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I ate a huge dick. Yeah, or yeah. You're just like, oh, why? It's similar to that. It really is like this, whoa, what? What did we do exactly?

Like, did we need, do you think we needed to be shut down for so long? And I'm not, I'm not doubting anything, but I'm doubting everything. Because I know, I think that one thing we're sure of is that we can't be sure of anything when it comes to life and government and yeah look I think that I think and you know I get in trouble when I'm on Rogan and say this things like this uh but I don't believe in my heart that leaders were trying to make decisions to make us suffer right to make their cities collapse right I think you're right like why would you be the mayor of some place some big city and make a decision And like, let me tank this. Right.

I want to shut the economy down. It's going to only hurt them. Right. Right. I also think that it's the same with your parents. They're just people and I think we idolize. Right. Public figures and people of office.

Like, they have all the answers and they're just people. They're going to fuck up. Exactly. And that part, I do think probably happened a lot. I think it did too. People made the wrong decisions based on the information and made mistakes. for sure. For sure.

I mean, why do we, you know, it's going to be interesting to see. I mean, it's going to be five years before we write this story. Are you and I going to write a script? We're going to write a buddy comedy. I would love it. Papa and Paluso. Papa and Paluso, it's pretty great. I mean, it rolls off the tongue.

It really does. Was this picked up, I know you've been a foodie, but was this specific hobby picked up in quarantine for you? No. This was like six years ago. Damn. Yeah. Did you flourish in quarantine with it?

Yeah. What was your favorite experience or discovery with this? With the process of it? Yeah. It's, I've never had a hobby, like of any sort. And I'm like, and I tell people like, if you're going to get a hobby, it should be one that you can eat. Yeah. I just, I've always liked to cook, but I've, you know, and not like, you know, not just from

my family. I've just learned it from that. Like I don't have a, I'm not sophisticated. I'm just always learning and always kind of discovering and, and just really enjoy it. When I started baking the bread, it really fell into this really nice rhythm when I was home and writing. It was like, it fit that rhythm. Yeah. And it's very similar to comedy where any day can be, you think you know what you're doing. You're pretty good at it. And then you can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You're totally collapse, right? Oh, so you fucked up a few loaves. Oh, I've been experimenting with stuff last week, and my family just rolls in and is like,

what's with the flat breads? Like, what happened? Okay, first of all, back up. Yeah. Yeah, I've been surviving. You haven't bought bread in six years. Because if my people start getting a little comfy. Yeah, totally.

They're like, I haven't seen any olive bread in a while. It's your six-year-old. I'll get on it. I'll get on it. So it just became like this nice little, it's an exploration and you never kind of stop, you never stop learning about it and you never stop kind of discovering. And it's so great to share with people. Yes.

That's the best part. Literally breaking bread. Yeah. Do you have a cute little apron? I imagine you in like a very frilly apron like your wife's or something. I do have a series of aprons, but I only use those if I'm like making lasagna or making something that's going to be a big mess. Yeah.

Eggplant Parmesan, something like that. Fuck, I love it. Yeah. Italian food is the, it's just the quintessential comfort food. It is. Like, maybe the American blend of Italian food, I should say. What we grew up with. What we grew up with.

Totally. Italian American food. Yeah. It's just, and then when you think of like people who have parties, they'd have like a baked ziti dish and a lasagna dish. Yeah. And then the meat comes out after all of that. Yeah.

And then the dessert is a whole. Yeah. I remember it just being such a process like growing up, such an event, like especially the holidays. Forget it. And just the process of how things were rolled out. Yeah. And anticipating the next, you know. Who was cooking?

My Aunt Carmel. Oh, yeah. Aunt Darlene. We called her Aunt Carmel. I know nine different nicknames for everybody. For one person. And in my grandma Jean would hand roll. No, Nooki.

Really? Yeah. Really. And I remember just being in the kitchen sitting and watching these two shit talk. You know, my Uncle Basil's watching the sports, and my cousin David, who calls himself Diamond David, is in there with his new 19-year-old girlfriend. And there's just so many personalities and everyone's yelling, like, literally from a movie. Yeah. Like a Scorsese depiction of an Italian-American family.

And I just remember sitting in the kitchen one day. and everything was always from scratch. Yeah. You know, the sauce was from scratch and the Nocki was from scratch and all of this. And I remember one day, one holiday, this particular year, my Aunt Carmela was running behind. Uh-huh. And so she didn't have a door separating the kitchen from the rest of the house, which was so small. Tiny, yeah.

I don't know how we fit so many loud, big Italian personalities in these segmented homes. This is my, that you're describing my... child. Right. Yeah. The same thing. Too bad a fucking open floor plan wasn't around then. Oh my God. God, it really would have helped out. Yeah, with like a, with like a big oven with like expensive stuff. Yeah. You're like your grandma's just cranking stuff out of the shitty kitchen aid. Yeah. And 21 cousins running around feeding all these people. It doesn't seem possible. Diamond David with this Kmart clone. You're like, holy fuck. Maybe it is better that these rooms are segmented. But I remember this one particular year. My Aunt Carmelo is in the kitchen and she's like keeping everybody to the front of the house.

And she's like, you can stay. And she opens up the cabinet and it's all this ragu. And she goes, shh, I'm going to doctor it up. No. So she doctors up the ragu. And just uses and greets. And no one knew about the ragu. And everyone's pretty much dead so I can say it.

No one knew about the ragu. It's me. Oh, my God. My Aunt Carmella and my grandma Jean. I'm going to doctor it up. She doctored it up. And she just put it all in. You know what?

Frankly. I would put my Aunt Carmelas doctored ragu against any anybody else's sauce. And why not? Because it's really just a base. It's just tomatoes. I mean, it probably has a little more sugar in it than whatever. Yeah, and some preservatives. Yeah, but you know, I mean, what are you talking about?

You're just cutting out the, you know, because I've been learning to all these sauces from scratch and there's a couple that are really great but when you're behind when everyone wants to eat soon you need a can just pop it open you need just something reos reo sauce sauce is really good really good it really is I know and nine dollars a jar better be better be good and then don't you open it and you use half of it and then you never use the second half I know sauce is such a hard thing and it's like you really every time I open up a jar of sauce I'm like I got to have pasta two nights in a row I know it's just You can't because otherwise you waste it.

I know. And then you never do it again. No, you never do it again. Because you're so full. The sauce gets that like crust around the rain. Yeah. And then you're looking at it and you're like, how long has this been in here? Right.

Has this been weeks? I feel like this has been a month. I feel like it's fine. Can't I just heat it up and kill everything? Probably. Probably doctor it up. Doctor it up. It's all about doctoring it up.

That was Anne Carmel that one day it was just, I felt so special as she let me in on her kitchen secret. That's amazing. That is amazing. I was like, how many times has she done this? Did you learn it? Did you get any skills from them? No. No. My mom cooked, but she wasn't Italian, but she cooked a lot of different things. Right. We always had dinner together growing up.

Right. You know, and my dad cooked a little bit, but it wasn't, you know, because my mother wasn't necessarily an Italian woman. Right. We didn't have that. It was around the holidays where it was more of an influence. Right. You know, because my dad, he had two families. My grandpa, Mike, had two families.

Uh-huh. He had two wives at the same time. Your dad did? My grandpa. Your grandpa did. And so my dad was one of three on one side. Uh-huh. And then he had one of nine on my other grandmother's side.

Really? Yeah. So you took, so did you consider that you had two grandmothers? Yeah. Christmases were always confusing. We'd go to so many houses. You know, it's like, what does it like to be from upstate? Well, if you don't have a stepmom and four houses to visit on Christmas, you're not from

upstate. It's like the redneck. Yeah. You might be a redneck gift. Oh, man. Yeah, I had 45. I have 45 first cousins on my dad's side. 45.

Yeah. I mean, I always think we were like maxed out and we had 21. First cousins. 45 first cousins. That's like, that's two football teams. That's amazing. The meatballs and the sausages. But, and there was no war?

Quiet ones. Uh-huh. Definitely internal ones. My grandma Jean suffered mentally from it when she found out, you know, my grandma Jean had my Aunt Carmella, my uncle Louis and my dad. And then my grandma Doris had, you know, a bunch of kids on her side. So when did the grandmothers find out about each other? My mother was kind of.

a catalyst in that discovery. Really? Because she saw how it was tearing my dad apart. Because he put a lot of the burden, the emotional burden of knowing the truth on himself because he was one of the only kids who knew what was really going on. How did he know before everyone else? He was older. Okay.

And I think... You just put it together. Yeah, he put it together. And so he was carrying that burden into his adulthood. And my mother suffered those emotional traumas. Yeah. Supporting him. supporting him and seeing how his outbursts were and his anger and trying to manage his emotions.

And so she just encouraged him to talk about it. Wow. And she brought it up to one of my aunts. And it was rough. You're like the, this is like a real live 23 and me. Yes. Right? And it's like 23.

And 23 more cousins. Right. 25 and me and me. and me. 45 in me. There it is. Wow. Yeah.

Pretty crazy. We went to so many houses. So legit. We'd wake up at my mom's house. You're going to love this. It's amazing. We'd wake up at my mom's house because I always stay at my mom's. My dad would come over.

And then we'd hop in the car. My sister, Emily and I hop in the car because that's the unit. My mom, my dad, my sister, and my mom. And I'm sorry, but they're split at this point. But its holidays were all together. Very cordial. Right. They never made it contentious or anything.

They never put us in the middle of it. Yeah. We were the priority. That's why I'm not a stripper. Right. You know? Yeah. I still had some attention issues.

I became a comedian. Right. Right. I'd love. Mild. Yeah. It's like a mild sauce. Yeah.

So we'd get in the car, go two blocks to my dad's first wife's house. Okay. And see my half sisters there. Right. So then we'd spend Christmas all there. Uh-huh. Then we'd go to my dad's second family's house. Right.

Where every, you know, my Aunt Tudy, my uncle Mike, my uncle John, my grandma Doris, you know, the whole family's there in this teeny house and everyone's running around. And visit there. Right. Then we'd get in the car a fucking fourth time and drive an hour and a half to my dad's original family and see my grandma Jean, his, my Aunt Carmela, my Uncle Louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I grew up around this.

And they all embraced, like you walked in on those cold winter nights and it was, Jesse Mae. Yeah. Like you were just beloved in all these places. Wow. And it was like a functioning dysfunction. Yeah. You know, it was, um, it was organized chaos.

Right. And it, and it was all these personalities and different family relationships, you know, the different dynamics. It was really... So how many kids did grandpa have in each place? He had six with Doris and three with my grandma Jean. Okay. I think I think had nine total.

Did he have money? I could be missing something. Well, I mean, not a lot. He was a traveling musician. Uh-huh. But he also was a salesman. Right. He sold liquor.

Okay. So he was able to support both families. Yeah, he did. Wow. And Darlene, my aunt Carmela did a lot of things to support the family as well. She became, I think it's pretty quintessential with Italian families. The women are very strong. Yeah.

And they do a lot of the supporting. It's very true. And the men always have big ideas. Oh, big ideas. They've got businesses in their tracksuit pants and they're tucked in white t-shirts. Hear me out. Hear me out. You know how people love water?

Yeah, they always have big ideas. I'm doing a new mobile grooming station. I turned your grandma's van into a mobile pet station. Oh, did you? Vinnie? I had a cousin Vinny. Oh my gosh, it just was... Yeah.

It was so colorful. It was so entertaining. And, you know, I think that's where I sort of cut my teeth and entertaining. Right. Because you had to. Of course. I mean, what a great audience. And if you were going to be funny, you needed something to stand out and get attention, for sure.

If you want to be heard, you got to be loud and say something that nobody else said. You got to do something to, you know, get some attention out of all of those people. Yeah. It was wild, you know, to think about that and think about just so many different relationships. So when did you learn about it? Like that you had, like what? It was always... Pretty young?

Yeah, it was always a thing for us. Right. We just grew up... That was normal to go to all those houses. Right. You know, it was probably around... I was about eight or nine where my parents actually separated.

So, you know, but the other houses we would go to still. Right. You're still family. It was still family. So we still would migrate between... It's pretty great. Yeah. We should have had a fucking passport.

The Paluso Pass. Yeah. Just get it stamped in all the houses. Yeah. Oh, did you? you get presents each place? Oh, yeah,

it was great. Oh, man. That's the best. I was like, more people should break up. Which house had the best presents? Where would you score? I would really,

I mean, my house I would always score. Yeah. But, you know, I would say probably Geneva when I'd go to Geneva where my Aunt Carmelah's house was. Just because I equated the food

as associated with what we would get. Right. You know, and we'd always bring food home. I would always work. some way to steal some extra food. You know, because my grandma, they had all those, like, to-go containers and the plastic bags. She'd write it all down.

So I would always score some more food. Oh, that's the best. Oh, of course. Of course, the best. It's skinny bitches eat. It's amazing. I just poop a lot, you know? Oh, you're so lucky.

I would just eat and get fat. I'm sure at some point my metabolism will be like, mm, good. No, I bet. No, you're probably pretty good. Maybe. Yeah, you're going to be, you're good. I feel like I might end up looking like my grandma Jean who just looked like a potato sack on stilts. It just all, it like the, it stopped here and she had the greatest legs, you know, gorgeous legs.

You know, everything was just right. Yeah, yeah, like a pug. Wow, it's amazing. I never thought about that, but she looked exactly like a pug. I love you, Grandma Jean. Oh, she was a hoot. Oh, it's the best. Man, oh, man.

I mean, yeah, so there's no way. There's no way you're not eating this stuff. No. It's too, it's too, it's too, it's, yeah, it's your whole, it literally. It literally is your whole life. My whole loaf life. Your whole loaf life. You can't break that and be like, I'm not doing it.

It doesn't feel right. Mm-mm. And it's all about balance. You know, I've, I've adjusted how I have consumed food and what I consume now because of my dad's illness. He passed away from Alzheimer's. And so I just educated myself about. nutrition and its influence on the brain, which, you know, fucks up food for you a little bit. It does, but, yeah, it does.

But also you don't abuse stuff. Like, you're not, right? So it's like there's a balance. And, like, I was just watching, I interviewed the filmmakers for the new Dick Gregory documentary. Oh, wow. And it's on Showtime now. And, you know, Dick Gregory, this legendary.

comedian, African-American, he was a civil rights leader. I mean, one of the most impressive people. Very prominent and prolific. Yeah, you should watch the documentary. It's really inspiring. But a big part of his life was nutrition. And he fasted for the Vietnam War and he just wanted to call attention to it and he stopped eating.

And he was a pretty big guy. It was like 280 and he went down to like one. like 20. I mean, it was like crazy, like how much he lost. And that number might be wrong, but it was something dramatic like that. I mean, it was huge. I mean, he was, and he became a vegan. It recalibrated all of his stuff.

And he realized everybody thought he was okay when he was smoking four packs of cigarettes and drinking and eating like crazy. And everybody thought he was okay. Once he stopped all that stuff, everyone acted like he was a weirdo. and he just felt better. And it became a mission of his to tell people how to eat correctly. And even if you're not going to be a vegan, just drink more water, like just the basic of that. And he became like this really a nutritionist and an advocate for eating well and exercising and doing all this stuff. But the end of his life, he had Alzheimer's.

and that's what took him down in pretty quickly at the end. And there's a, my takeaway was, you know, moderation is the key because I know people that were extreme vegans and end up with horrible diseases. I know people that did the opposite, and we all end up with something at the end. So you kind of have an instinct for when you're abusing stuff, and when you're going too far. Yeah. And whether, you know what I mean?

Yep. And his thing was pretty interesting in that he had to cut the black culture out of his life because everybody was all about this food. And people really got offended. And people think you're saying, I don't love you anymore because you're eating differently. Right. And, you know, and I went back and forth. I tried these different things.

But I just feel like I can't cut these things out. But I also should keep them in check and not be having. pizza every single night. You know what I mean? Because we're all going to end up with... It's my favorite food. So good. I think, you know, everything in moderation, yes.

It's so hard to know what's going on inside of you. You know, because so many of us are out of sync with our bodies. Yeah. You know, and we're out of sync with ourselves. Yeah. So we can't really listen to the. warning signs. We don't see them. And if we do, then we ignore them

because we don't want the truth in the first place. And then you look at blue zones around the country where people live over 100, one of them being Sardinia in Italy. Yeah. They eat bread. They eat pasta. They drink wine. They eat cheese. Yeah. So there's definitely

but again, their ingredients don't have the preservatives and trash that we have in our food. And that's a huge difference. Huge. So that mixed with The mentality of balance and enjoying life. Totally. Mixed with no preservatives is a huge, huge aspect.

But the other thing about Alzheimer's that I've learned through reading and just educating myself is it's a disease that starts very early in life. That you don't recognize? It's years of chronic inflammation. It's years of oxidative stress on your body that builds up over time. Alzheimer's disease, once the symptoms hit in your later years, those are just symptoms. The disease starts very early. Right. And so the one thing that, you know, you said, where we all get something at the end, I don't

think that's true. I think we've, especially our culture, our American culture, I think we've been groomed to believe that because it's based off of this American diet. Now, this is different. These are wholesome ingredients and this is, you know, made from food. I'm talking about things that are like made with preservatives and sugar and all these other ingredients that literally cause stress to your body. You're being poisoned. You're poisoning yourself.

You're causing little wars. Yeah. That are sending off all of this inflammation. That's what when I started making this and I realized I've been trying to buy my family good bread. I bought the one with like the wooden sign on it. and said like, you know, like... It's charred. Yeah, it's charred and it has like a little flower next to it,

a sun coming up over the hillside. Bread is hard to find. 32 ingredients in it. Oh my gosh. Even the bread that says it's good, you know, I don't even want to say the brands because I know they're trying hard to make it. Yeah. But your bread is trash.

It's trash. It should, this has four ingredients in it. That's the kind of, you want bread that goes bad. Right. I can't believe we've gotten this deep into a bread podcast, and I haven't even told you about Columbus Baker in Syracuse, New York. I don't know.

Don't you play Syracuse ever? I shot a movie there last year. You did? Uh-huh. What movie? Can you tell us? It was, yeah, it was called Paper Spiders. Is it out?

It's out now. Yeah. Where can we watch it? It's, um, wherever you stream stuff. Okay, I'm going to check it out. It's really great. Lily Taylor's the star of it. And it's about mental health.

It's great. And we shot got to shoot in, in Syracuse. Did you eat there at all? Did you let go out? Very little. Very little. It was like get back to the room and whatever restaurant was next door. Where did you stay?

Hotel Syracuse. It was this place out of downtown and it was like a little rustic looking place. Oh man, my mom's house. Yeah. You know what? Now that you mention it. Those are a cute tiny little woman saying nasty things from outside of her boxed wine. I walk by and she's like, you don't think you're fat.

I wish I would have known. I would have given you some recommendations. I saw Patton Oswald was in Syracuse. I was home. I was home as well. Same time he was. And him and I have never really met. But, you know, comedians are comedians.

And so I DMed him. I was like, hey, if you and your wife are in town, I would love to take you to lunch or tell you some places to hit up because there's great food in Syracuse. So Columbus Bakery Bread is owned by Greeks. But they make Italian bread. Nice. Four ingredients. It goes bad in a day or two. Yeah.

You got to get it while it's hot. Yeah. They make what they make for the day. The best. The loaves are gone by the end of the day. $2.25 a loaf. Right. It's, when I go home, it's one of the things that I go for.

Yeah. It's a Columbus bakery bread and a pizza originale. They're pizza. Let's go. They fly in their dough from Italy. They do? They don't mess around. Oh, my God.

And they got, they have an oven that I think also they flew in from Italy and rebuilt into the restaurant. Oh, the best. It is, oh my God, they've got, they've got this pizza called the Collabrian and I would hit someone for it. I would punch you across the table right now

to get a slice of the colobrian. I literally, this is so Sicilian. I literally, I was doing a video, I was doing, this is so Sicilian. I literally, when I eat something that's so good, I was literally filming a video about Chiambela. I make this Chiambela,

which is the Italian grandma cake. And it's so good at the, I said, it's so good I have to punch somebody in the face. Like, nobody says that. I do. Right. I do too. And you think it's normal, but no, it's not. It's very normal.

It's normal. It's normal to punch people in the face out of joy. There's sometimes we eat someone. You're like, oh, this is so good. You're like, fuck that salad. Fuck this pizza. Pizza originality is my spot. I love it.

But when I say that we all get something in the end, end. I mean, something's going to get us in the end. We're going to, you're going to die. And I'm not saying that you're going to suffer for a decade before you die. I'm not saying that. Alzheimer's and dementia is not a normal part of aging. And that's what the stigma, that's a stigma that has to be broken. I hear what you're saying. Like it's, we think, we call it old timers. Right. Because we think when you get old, it's just a part of the process. No, it's an inflammatory disease. It's a disease of the brain. Right. And you, and by, we're, reducing the inflammation throughout your life with your diet?

Could you... You're on a path to helping prevent it. Right. You know, I'm not a doctor. I mean, I'm a doctor on my IG story on Mondays. It's Rogan's fault. He called me Dr. Paluso and I had to ride the wave. Yeah, of course.

I give relationship advice. Uncertified. But, you know, I just am a firm believer that there's, I don't know, there's just only so much that you can do to prevent things. And when we're talking about a cure, it's too late. And that's when we get into the business. Right. The business of illness.

Yeah. Right. Because if we're in the cure zone, lights out. Right. Exactly. That doesn't turn out well for anybody. You're really just managing pain at that point. You're managing. Yeah.

And so it's all about preventative stuff. And that's not to say, you know, you don't eat cupcakes and you won't eat cupcakes and you won't get Alzheimer's disease. It's not that black and white. Right. But why not give yourself a fighting chance to not burden your family members because it is such a burden. Yeah. They're fine. They're just fucking, what day is it? How long did he have it? It was bad? I was, I was fortunate. It was only a year. We got like the crash course. That was the Dick Gregory story. they saw kind of like glimpses, but it was really like just in like an intense short period. Yeah, that's exactly what it was.

It was an intense short period. But the disease had, we always chopped his forgetfulness up to being dad. Uh-huh. And that was the disease for years. Yeah. I'm talking decades. We would say it's just dad. Yeah.

Forgetting things and misplacing things. Right, right. You know, it's. And no idea that that was in there. No, because it's. And there's no way to diagnose that early on either. It's really hard because it shows itself so sneakily. Yeah.

You know, in the form of forgetting where your keys are, how you get to a place, or your mood changes. Right, right, right. So it's kind of hard. And people freak out when they hear that. Oh, I forget my keys all the time. That's why it's hard. Right, of course. To know what it is.

And by the time those symptoms have shown, there's not much that can be done. It's a brutal, brutal existence. Yeah. So, like, the silver lining was that it was only a year. Mm-hmm. You know, but I also... Do you think that he would have suffered less if he... If he had done some things differently?

Yeah. Yeah. I do. I think, you know, one of the things that sort of tipped everything off was where he started to feel equilibrium issues. Uh-huh. And this was before we knew anything was going on. Yeah.

And up to that point for the better half of a decade and a half, 15 years or so, he had been a functioning drinker, alcoholic. Not like anybody who would call me up in the middle of night and cry about the war. He was a fun guy. He'd get drunk and he'd be fun. Yeah. Sure, he got a DWI when he was 73, but I consider that a championship. His first DWI at 73.

My mom was pissed. I'm like, yeah, Dad. You fucking held out this long? He's still going. Yeah, you need a trophy. Yeah. Two ex-wives and your first DWI. Yeah, no kidding.

So he'd been, you know, a functioning alcoholic. And when we brought him in about this equilibrium issue, the neurologist chopped it up to alcoholism. And she said, you know, you're probably dehydrated. So you probably should stop drinking, but you need to go slow. Yeah. You can't go cold turkey with something like this. So he was drinking a lot.

He was drinking a lot. Yeah. And he went cold turkey. He didn't listen to her. Right. And so that, the other thing that we learned is that sometimes, when somebody has a addiction alongside with some sort of neurodegenerative disease like Alzheimer's, the addiction almost can subdue the symptoms. So where you don't know what's going on.

Oh, sure. So when he stopped drinking, the Alzheimer's took the front seat. Of course. And he, within a month of him, like, halting his drinking, was a different person. Whoa. A 180. Whoa. And then we were like, what the fuck? is going on. Yeah, we solved a problem and we have a bigger one. That's exactly what it was. Jeez. And then we were plugging holes.

Right. Then we were like, it was just, the house was caving in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we didn't know what it was. Ugh. But what I was going to say was, you know, as brutal as it is, and I'm sure you've had terrible things happen in your life. Yeah.

Those are the things that, even though they're the most painful, they become these cornerstones for growth and for accountability and for gratitude and for change. 100%. Look, there are these monumental moments in your life that are unavoidable if you live and you live a long time. And as strong as you can be and as much as you can manage and get your act together, every once in a while, one of the big ones is going to roll over you. and you're not,

you're just, we're simply not bigger than these events. So then what do you do? Are you wiped out and you just dragged out to see and you just become, and that's it?

Does it wipe you out? Or do you change, alter what you are a little bit? Keep going. Dust off. Keep going. Are you the same? No.

Are you carrying more grief than you did before? Yeah. Is it going to ever be completely the way it was before? No. Because you're, these are these big moments and you're going to collect them. And you're right. You're better off learning from it. And look, you just got to open up a bottle of wine and get some pizza and be like. And fucking cry in a fetal position. Yeah. And right, exactly.

You got to just, that's what it is to be a human being. That's what it is to be, to be living a life. And there's no shortage of it. unfortunately. But like you said, not really unfortunately. It's just it's all part of the game. It is. And if you can find the silver linings,

I think luckily for us, with our careers, being creatives and people who speak in front of people, the tragedy becomes the food for the stage. And it becomes something you can cook up

for people to enjoy. Right. Because you're, should be sharing your life. I mean, that is, right? That's the stuff that, and if you don't have this outlet, just write more. Yeah. Like, write your stuff down. Do whatever you have to do, but you're not unique in this. No. You know what I mean? And I'm sure you're finding, as you're talking on stage, that you're probably connecting with more people. Oh, my God. Right? The outpour of support and people reaching out to me when I was kind of documented,

what was going on with my dad was, it was like overwhelming. Alzheimer's and dementia is like number five killer in this country. Wow. You know? Number five. Number five. Wow. And.

Yeah. So that's a lot of people that are connecting with you. It's a lot of people. Yeah. That's a huge amount of people. Yeah. You know, it's it made, it gave me purpose. It gave me a new direction.

Right. I already had a purpose. but it made what I was doing mean something. It means something to where maybe I can help people earlier. Yeah. Maybe people can not chop it up to it being just dad or just mom or whoever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and have a chance on the side of prevention as opposed to looking for a cure.

Right. Because I don't care how many pills come out. I don't care what they're doing on this side. It's dire over here. Right. And people want to, people, you forget, but people really want to hear that they're not alone. And that's, and that's probably, that's your greatest, uh, gift as, as an artist is to let people know that. Yeah.

Whatever you're talking about. It could be, you know, whatever troubles. All the thousands of things that people experience. Yeah. It's just they, I mean, we get it from music. We get it from hearing our comedian. I mean, you just, you just feel a little less alone. Yeah.

when you hear somebody say something that you think you're just carrying and they're like, and they just nailed it and they just expressed it. And laugh at it. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. And find some levity, some brightness in the levity. Yeah, and they're still going. Yeah. I think sometimes, especially with social media, people look at people and everything looks so bright

and filtered and all of this. But when the content is something that's real. Right. Like to your saying, to your point, then people realize, oh, okay, I can go to bed tonight knowing that there are thousands of people experiencing what I'm experiencing. Yeah, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be all right.

I got a fucking hot pie in the oven. So when you say, what's the wine, Fra Diablo? That sounds delicious. Fra Diablo, you better stop. Nirodavla. Nirodavla. And you found some winery, some labels. that you, that kill it with that variety?

It's hard to find. It's hard to find. It's that wine where you go into the Italian section, the Italy section, and any, you know, liquor store, wine store. I run there and more often than not, nothing. Not there. Nothing. So I need to marry like a, you know, a winemaker in Sicily that only makes that

varietal. Well, here's an idea. And I'm sure you've seen this. There are places in Sicily that are. pretty much demolished towns. Towns that never came back, whatever. We're going to buy a town. They're paying people.

You can get, you can buy real estate there, like a broken down stone house for $5. If you agree that you're going to restore it and bring it back to its former life. Oh my God, we need to buy a house. For like five bucks. $2.50 each. That's the cost of a loaf in Syracuse, New York.

I was hoping you would pay for it because I gave you bread. That's rude. I'm still your guest. I still feel like it should be your $5. All right. All right. Maybe we'll get them next to each other. That would be amazing.

Pretty wild. They do that in Syracuse. Do they really? There's some beautiful houses that they, you know, that are almost condemned. Gorgeous. I know. No, those places are great. And they just, they'll give you a big break.

Right. And you have to restore it. Wow. I mean, obviously, Syracusa would be nicer than Syracuse. Yeah. But, hey. Do you know the town from where your family came? Palermo.

Was it Palermo? I believe so. I believe. Which is the capital, I think. Yeah. And there was actually a mayor who, the last name, Papa. And so I've been saying Palermo this whole time. And there's another.

other town that begins with a C. I can't even like, it's been told to me countless times, and it's recent, like in the last two years, it's not exactly, we're not from Palermo. Oh, shit. Yeah, we're from this other town with a C. I should look it up. You want to Google it? Yeah, I do, but I'm not going to go to.

No. God, it's going to kill me on the ride home. I'm going to be Googling and crash. Don't. All right. I'll look it up now. Fine, I'll look it up. Maybe my family's not even from Palermo.

I know. And there's a ton of Paluso. What if we do 23 and me and we find out that your grandfather also had another family in New Jersey? And it was you. Do you know what your last name means? Papa, yes. What's it mean? Back to the Vatican.

It means the Pope. I probably should be. You didn't know that? I probably should leave. No. Does it really? Yeah, Papal. That makes sense.

Papa. Papa means Pope. Whoa. Yeah. Okay, now I see your image. So you want to talk shit about the Vatican again? Yes, I do. Katanya.

Katanya. Sounds like a hot girl that you go to high school with. Yeah. Oh, look at that. It's just below Etna. Yikes. Yeah. But I always thought, I have no sense of, like in my mind, I always pictured Palermo being in the south part of.

Oh, yeah. Oh, man, I had it all turned around. I might not even be from Palermo. Yeah, I probably have it wrong. I thought it was where this one is. I thought it was where you're from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought.

Poemois way up there. I can picture your comedy special image. Uh-huh. And I think you should dress like a pope. Come on. And just holding a loaf of bread. Just think about it. Sleep on it.

Okay? Do you want to know what my last name means? Yes. Pell is hair. Hair. Huso is many. Many hair? Large.

A lot of hair? A lot of hair. Very hairy or large and hairy? What? Who names? So some guy came through Ellis Island and it was just a big, Harry Italian? Yeah, just a big, big SOB.

And they were like, this is your name? Yeah, Paluso. Isn't that great? That's great. I wonder if Brad Pitt will hyphenate for me. Yeah. Pit Paluso. I'm not approving of the Brad Pitt.

What? You were before we started recording. I know, but the more we talk, the more I just don't see it. What Hollywood man, John Ham, wouldn't mind a little bit of that. He used to be a Hollywood man. Well, I'm just saying, you know, just for argument's sake. What was it going to be a banker?

You know, it would have been great if he was still alive. God rest his soul, James Gandalfini. Actually, he hit on me once and we played darts for Apple Pie. Really? And he didn't follow through? Well, I was at this bar I used to work at. And he was like, you want to play darts? And he brought his dog Duke in.

And he'd come at the end of the night. Uh-huh. this cool little bar called Puffy's Tavern in Tribeca. And he lived right around the corner. He'd come in with his dog Duke and toss the tennis ball and just hang out in the dark. He'd like to play darts. He would talk to us. And I was like, all right.

So we played darts. He's like, if you win, I make you an apple pie. But if I win, you make me an apple pie. And I always thought that was a little creepy. It's a little creepy. It's like, he could have said any pie. Yeah. I think because like.

It's his line. It's, if he said, if you. Look is good from the front. It's the line. Yeah. They work. They linger. Oh, man, they stay with you.

So who won? He won. He won. Yeah, and he told me to bring him apple pie. Gave you his number. Yeah. No, you worked there, so he's coming back. He gave me his number.

He's like, this is the way you can drop it off. I was like, so perplexed and conflicted. I didn't make it. So you didn't follow up? I wish I would have just for the story. Was this during Sopranos post? I want to say right after. Right after.

Yeah. This was, let's see, I left 2014. I bartended in 2013. It was a few years before that. 2010? When did Sopranos end? 2007? I won.

Yeah, around there. So, I mean, kind of off the heels of it a little bit, but still. He's the guy. He was a bear of a man. In a gentleman, like, he was, he was. It's so Italian, but he also was a gentleman. Yeah. I'm sure he literally met apple pie and I'm just so damaged from my family and how we bust each other's balls.

I'm like, that's pervert. And meanwhile, he's like, make sure the apples are organic. He really wanted a pie. Yeah, use a gala. Use red delicious. Don't fuck it up. Actually, Red Delicious would be terrible. So would gala, actually.

They'd be terrible. Yeah. My actually, the thing, my memory device is gala is gross. Gala is gross. Yeah. Maybe like an empire? Mm-hmm. Those are good.

Nice Macintosh. Nice Macintosh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He wanted a pie. But it was the... I mean, he literally could have said strawberry rhubarb and it would have removed some of the creepiness. It's a good line.

I know. It's a good line. There's so many things that have happened in my life where I wish I just would have been bold and done it. Mm-hmm. And that was one of them. Yeah, but you know why you didn't? Probably instinct. You're right.

Instinct. You're right. It sounds like it would have been fun, but it probably would have been a horrible mistake. Yeah, I think that's instinct is what's kept me alive. Yeah. For sure. I have a very strong instinct. Yeah.

You know, like a survival, stranger danger thing. Yeah. I have really good shad. That's good. Yeah. That's what it is. As a comedian, working nights out in places. A female on the road.

Yeah, come on. Going to hotels alone sometimes. I know, I know. I don't do that anymore. but like starting out. Yeah. Now I bring openers and stuff, but. Right.

Just for a group. Yeah, just for safety and numbers. Yeah, no kidding. You know, and then we attach those like, those things you can attach to make it look like there's four more people, and then we walked down the street. That's mandatory. No, there was a moment last winter, like two winters ago,

when we were touring, and I walked out at like five in the morning to get my rental car out of the parking garage in the snow covered, like North Dakota, I'm just walking it. And I was with Kira. I was Kira Soltanavich. And I was like, so you would do this like alone? She's like, you know, she's so tough. And she'd be like, yeah, yeah.

And it's like, this isn't, it's, it's insane. It's an insane choice. It's an insane choice. Because that's what it is. You choose to do that. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes it takes you a while to realize, oh, I should have people to walk me to my car and I should have people to see me to my room.

Right. You know, it. Yeah. You don't always think about those things. No. As a woman, you know. Yeah. No.

We're targets. Yeah. Unfortunately. But you have good instincts. I think I do. Up to this point, there's definitely a couple times where I almost died. But I was quick enough.

Like a rabbit. Yeah. I have very, very small muscular legs that moves swiftly. I could hop over the snow. As to hop away from the rapist. And the murderers. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Jeez. And I, you know, I've started talking about it on stage and the reality of a woman's experience in this life. And I can see the sheer terror of men, like girl dads. Yeah. Realizing that their daughters are going to have to experience this stuff. Yeah. And it's, there's nothing you can do about it.

You know, and maybe the things are changing now because the Harvey Weinsteins of the world and the Me Too movements and all that are sort of shedding light, but that doesn't get rid of it. It doesn't get rid of it. I think you're right. I think it does. It's correcting a segment that we probably thought was corrected, you know, like just people in business and everybody that you're working, like all that kind of stuff. But yeah, it's not going to eliminate unless you eliminate men. You're not eliminating that.

In eliminating that, like, here's the dilemma. I'm somebody who loves a very masculine man. I love a fuck. Just, if there's like motor oil or like a freshly dirty fingernails and like a chainsaw scent, I'm ovulating. And I don't know what it is about me. I don't know what in my history, my ancestors. I just love a big, thick, dumb motherfucker, which is confusing because I'm like Brad Pitt date me.

Yeah. And James Gendafini, I won't make a pie for you. There's something about that. But then a lot of the issues come from a very toxic, masculine mindset. So it's a conflicting thing, you know. Yeah. To be like, don't do that, but it's kind of hot. I know. Yeah. And I mean, typically that's the story is that then you outgrow that and then you settle down with somebody that gives you some of that. It looks like Patton Oswald.

Yeah. Right. Maybe you're not there yet. Really nice guy. Maybe you're just not there yet. I'll never be there, Bob. Yeah. I mean, can't.

You won't be. Maybe it's Bigfoot. It exists. There's guys like that that are solid men who exist. Yeah, that are like good people. Yeah. Definitely. In movies.

In movies. I've never met them, but they're there. There's like two when they're in jail. I don't know that I'll grow out of it. I question some military guys, some guys that learn code and honor and are nice to their mom. That's what you need. You need that combination. You need that guy.

Yeah. That big lug guy. Yeah. But who was raised with sisters and is really good to his mom. Yes. Then you'll get it. You know who I think is hot? Who.

David Bautista. Who's that? He's a big big motherfucker. He's like the biggest one of the wall. He's tattooed. He's huge. I have to pull him off you because I need you to see this. I need you to see David.

I might be saying his last name wrong. Is he a comic? No, he's an actor. And he's like a, what do you would call it? Like a boxer dude. You got to know who this dude is. He's huge. Oh my God.

He's a wrestler. He's a wrestler. A wrestler. Aaron says he's a wrestler. Oh, I mean. He's just perfect. Let me see what perfect is to you. Oh, my God.

I think debates about this in my own mind, you know, because I've definitely, I know my worth and I know I've grown out of managing men. That's good. But there's something about the physique of it. I don't know. It's so crazy. I think maybe because, like, we were talking about being a female and on the road, I'm a tough chick. Like, I'm feminine and super girly and all that, but I'm a tough, strong woman.

So I need a whole lot of man. Right. I need a big strong man to pick me up and make me feel little. David or Brad. Oh, man. I'm going to introduce you to Vito's Pizza. Oh, fuck. He's as round as a pizza ball, but he's big guy.

Are you trying to hook me up with Vito or the pizza? Vito. Oh, shit. Well, if you can make a good pie, I might marry him. If you can make a good pie, it might be all I need. Oh, those guys are too sharp. They're too... Like, like, jagged?

Yeah, you're going to, like, hurt yourself. I know, I might cut my jaw on his shoulder. Yeah, you don't need that. But then again, you can make me feel dainty. All right, that's okay. I don't think... Look, I'm not going to correct what you're, what you like, but You just got to find someone like that.

Someone in between Brad Pitt and Dave Bowdy stuff. Can they look like that and be smart? Yes. He's smart. He's smart guy. Then that's what you need. I need a smart wrestler. You need a smart wrestler.

Who's huge. Who's huge? Who likes Italian food. Does Joe Rogan have a tall brother? Does he's a taller? Yeah, a taller brother. Like scientist brother. Yeah.

With tattoos. Yeah. That would be great. Who gets along with his mom? Who gets along with his mom? That's a big indicator. That's a huge indicator. Yeah. Other than that, you stay away from those people.

You hear me? I will not stand for it. Do I get to call me? This is so, so fucking Italian. Isn't it? You know where that comes from? That's so Sicilian. That comes from that place with the basalamic vinegar.

Is this from Rome? No. No from the place here in Burbank. Oh, the, the, The package shop, the little import deli. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I mean, this is just, we got to hang it.

We need to hang it from something. Yeah. This is perfect. Well, this is what we should do. You should come back. Okay. And we should not drive and we should. We should get plastered.

Can we do it from vetoes? Yes. That's what we should do. We should, I mean, not that people want to see us shoving our face with pie. I know. We can eat the pie first and then drink the way. All right. Yeah, let's do that.

Yeah. We don't have to podcast it. We could just go to Vito's. Let's just go and eat. Yeah. Because you want me to marry Vito. Are you trying to get free pizza through me? Maybe.

Okay. He's such a great guy. He told me his, the place is a little far from my house for the pizza to get there hot. Oh, shit. So he's going to give me one of the pizza bags that I can just deliver it for myself. He's a good guy. Oh, you're going to love him.

I got a warm. place to keep his pizza. It's my oven. You leave Vito alone. You were just throwing him at me. And now you don't want him. Now I don't like it. Now I think he should just be your friend.

You're the best. I love you. I love you too. You're so funny. This has been great. This has been really wonderful. I really get to keep the bread. Yeah, yeah.

I have a bag for you and everything. You got any olive oil? You're on your own. What kind of restaurant is this? We got it, Aaron. Vito? All right, kids, that was the big show. Thank you to Jesse May. I told you she was great. Make sure you check out her podcast. Check out all of her social media, which she just told you about. She's so great and go see her live, of course. Thank you all for listening, like and subscribe and all that stuff. Send me all the good things I'm supposed to eat. And we'll see you next time.