Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 71 - Leslie Jones

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Tom breaks bread with his biggest bread fan, the super funny comedy force, Leslie Jones. We learn about mystery owls, creepy eels and what makes her so funny. Look for Leslie on the new season of Supermarket Sweep Sundays on ABC.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey! sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I'm Tom Papa. Thank you so much for being here and being a part of our weekly feast. We have an amazing show for you today. I got to spend some time with the great, the powerful, the hilarious Leslie Jones. I've been waiting to get Leslie on the podcast for a while. I'm so glad she was able to squeeze us in.

She's so damn busy. She's just blown up. Of course, you know Leslie Jones, but the real reason I wanted her on the podcast is because I don't think there's a bigger fan of my bread baking than Leslie Jones. Leslie came to my house in the heart of the pandemic, masked up, shielded up, gloved up, just to get bread. I've brought it to her house.

I've brought it to her when our friend Lenny was in town. And she, I just, Leslie is a big, joyous personality. And to have that expression on something that I made for her, please, that's enough for me to keep baking bread for all of my days. She's so great. She's such as incredibly talented. person and a very genuine person. And you'll find out why when we get into this conversation,

she's so truthful, she's so funny, and those are the two main elements to make a great comedian. So enjoy my conversation with the great Leslie Jones. I haven't performed since my special. For real? Mm-hmm. Really?

Even like a little set? Yeah, I think, yeah, when I was getting ready for this, MTV Awards, I went up a couple of times. Uh-huh. But... How's that feel? I'm a celebrity now, so it's just weird at this point.

Mm-hmm. Do you give them, I mean, it's just like when I used to hustle to get these spots and, you know, go and hope that people, somebody knew who I was or either just people laughed. Now it's like, there's Jones in the house. Is she going to come to stage? Oh, my God. Is she just going to talk? Yeah. Yeah.

It's just very... Interesting. Is it taking the... Is it taking the... Is it taking the fun out of it? It's not even the fun now because now I get more vicious. Now I'm just like, oh, so you want to hear me talk? Oh, then I'm going to talk about you and your mom and everybody at this fucking table.

Since, yeah, you want to talk to Leslie Jones? Yeah. After this, you will never want to talk to me again. I don't. Now I really say what the things that I'm thinking. thinking. I'm really with my, like, I'm really with, uh, like, you do the material that you fucking, like that's, you know, right. You're gonna fucking hear what I have to say. I don't, you don't pick, I don't remember you or it wasn't, I didn't perceive you as someone who, uh, put the breaks on what

you was saying before. A little bit. A little bit, you know, especially when I got with Lenny, Lenny really brought a lot of discipline to my comedy. Um, because I am a wild child. Right. But, um, I'm, also 53 years old and understand the industry and understand what plight like I even learned this at SNL because Lauren was like yo you're either going to be a comedian or you're going to be a politician which one are you going to be you got to keep an even line with stuff like that uh-huh and I was like well I always want to be a comedian I always want to be funny I always want to be an entertainer so um you just be smart like I've always been this way as far as smart about what I'm going to say yeah um it wasn't until after maybe 13 years when I really started saying

saying what I needed to say on stage. And then after the death of my parents and my brother, I literally was like all, like, fucking just like throwing up on stage. Right. But I've always been not safe, but always been respectful and empathetic to what's going on. Yeah. I can talk about a motherfucker in a minute, but I do look in people's eyes and see if they can be fucked with or not.

I'm not just a vicious person that just goes to try to make material. Even when the Twitter thing came with Kevin Harden, he got in trouble, they went back on my Twitter thing, and the only thing they can find is me advertising my spots. Right. That's all they can find is like, she's going to be at the comedy store. She's going to be at the comedy store. She's just all they could find. Right. There was nothing.

Yeah. They couldn't find nothing else. Disappointed. Because it's like those type of, I've always been, you know, I think everybody has sense and knows when you're not supposed to say some inside shit on the outside. Yeah. I think people didn't lost their mind now. they're just talking all the inside stuff is coming the fuck out. Right, right.

Which is dangerous. Yeah. There is that thing though, like you either have it or you don't. Like when you say like you look at people in the audience and you feel like you don't, we're kind of similar in that way. We're like, we're not here to hurt people. Yeah. That's not.

You can be truthful and he may ruffle some feathers doing saying certain things, but our intent is not to be. We don't get joy out of that. Yeah. Yeah. I literally. Do not, because I know what that feels like, and I don't like to be made fun of. I like people to laugh at themselves.

Right. That is my favorite thing is when I start messing with someone and they're cracking up as hard as everybody around them because it's just like so fun because then they take that material and they go tell all their friends, oh my God, you should have seen how this comic tore me apart. He said that's a way for them to even communicate with their friends now. like I'm self-aware. I know that I'm like that. Right, right.

It's just a great thing. Self-aware is key. It shows to how the maturity of you sitting in the audience. Right. You know, some people don't. And you can see it. I can see it in your eye if I can fuck with you or not. I can see it.

Yeah. I can see it. Then sometimes I do see it and I still fuck with them because I know that it is actually okay. You just don't want me to point out something, but I'm going to make you laugh at that something. And you're going to be like, oh, shit that's actually funny about me and I'm gonna fucking laugh with you and oh my god I was scared at first like does that make sense like yeah 100% I have been in that situation too I yeah oh my god

I've just just it's so fun because it almost feels like I'm digging for treasure like yeah yeah please say give me and they always do they always say one thing and I'd be like yeah you know what I'm saying yeah oh my god yeah 100% I love crowd work that's one of my Most favorite things to do is crowd work. It's so much fun. It's so much fun. Especially if you make it fun for everybody. And that's what I've learned.

I learned from the best for crowdwork. Simply Marvelous. Simply Marvelous used to go out into the audience. This is the first time I ever seen somebody go out into the audience and do crowdwork. And I was like, oh, my God, she's going to destroy everybody. And everybody's going to be fucking pissed. And she went from table to table. And I'm talking about people will fall in.

people were falling out, their chairs just, because she was just hidden stuff that you go, oh my God, that's hilarious. Like, oh my God,

how fun. It was, I got to the, I got to the level of crowd work to where at the end of the show, people would come up to me and go, well, just wondering why you didn't come over to our table.

We had a lot of fun stuff going on over there. Like, she's divorced and she's, you know what I mean? You're like, well, I can talk about you right now. If you want me to,

if that's going to make you feel better. But, Yeah. No, I always find it like this balance because you have your stuff you're preparing and you're thinking about and you're doing out on tour and then and it's good and you know, whatever. But then you go into the crowd and it becomes so alive. The audience is so into it. And that's the thing they talk about when the night's over. Yeah. It's almost like another level. It almost seems like a magic trick to them. Right. Right. I think David Spade, I was at the comedy store and I, I, I just, it's my favorite part of the act. And I did my jokes and stuff. And I was like, oh, now it's my favorite part. And I just sit and just, from person to person.

And all my favorite thing to do is to figure out the story. Yeah. And then make up one. Right. Exactly. Oh, God. It's the best. It's the funnest thing to ever do.

In that particular night, there was a great, like, audience in that front. Yeah. I was just mad from person to person. So when I came on stage, David Spade was like, I have never seen anyone be so, so meticulous just like every word you said felt like it was pulled into and I was like yeah crowdwork is a fun or very you on that line with crowdwork but if you are good at it yeah it can be one of the yeah yeah it's just be something that's just oh it's so much fun I remember watching early on Paula Poundstone oh and she would just lights kind of come up and just would just for an hour

straight. Just nothing but that. I was like, oh, man, oh, man. So do you feel like you're in this kind of unique spot now? Like you've, you had this kind of not a quick rise, but a slow and steady rise, but then it kind of popped up. Then it kind of popped. Yeah. And you seem from the outside, I only know you from delivering bread to your house. That's so funny. And seeing you at the, at the clubs and stuff. But we never really get to sit down with each other. But I do, sense that you're enjoying it? Yes, some parts. Some parts I'm like, I don't like this celebrity shit.

Like what? Well, first of all, I'm a Virgo, so perfectionist. Do you get along with Scorpio's? My assistant is a Scorpio. Nice, Angie. So you just boss me around? You know what's so crazy because I'm like the sign thing is a thing for me.

And when she told me she was a Scorpio, I was like, oh, fuck, we're going to be arguing. Or she just like, you know, like, Scorpio's don't fucking back down. I was like, like, I'm going to have one point and be like, yo, I'm the fucking boss. And you fucking just like, fucking, because sometimes I'll be like, Scorpio, fucking, like, real talk. Like, you're, you're arguing with me. Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So funny because I've dealt with Scorpio's before.

Uh, it's with Scorpio women just, like, my sister-in-law, and she would, just would not back. Like, even if she's losing a fight, I've seen her get beat in the fucking face and she still would not shut the fuck. People would be like, shut the fuck up. You getting fucked up because you keep talking.

Shut the fuck up. And she'd be like, fuck that. That's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. Just, I saw her get her tooth knocked out once and she just still. So, so, yeah. It's so funny. Are you a Scorpio? I'm a Scorpio.

Oh, huh. fucking hilarious. Scorpio's are definitely great in bed. They're freaks. They are definitely freaks. But they do not back the fuck down. They do not back the fuck down. And they get bored real easy. They get bored real easy. And they fucking, especially being Scorpio, they like to start shit. They like to let shit. Not even so much started, just let shit happen. That's so funny. They let shit happen. And then they're like, Okay, I'm not supposed to be entertained. But like...

I do have their reputation, especially like at the cellar. They all those comics are like, Tom acts all nice and stuff, but he's always quietly starting shit. Yeah, yeah. That's how Lauren is a Scorpio. Lauren was like that. He just, you know, when he get bored, he just make something, just let something happen. What's a Virgo like? Oh, fucking I am very, I'm a perfectionist.

I'm always right, which I am. Which I am. I swear to God, you ask anybody around me, I'm always fucking right. Seriously, it always comes out like I fucking say. Uh-huh. Okay. Because Virgo's pay attention to detail. We're very detail-oriented.

And we are perfectionist to a fault sometimes to where we will drive motherfuckers crazy around us. Like, because we will improve your life too. Right. We need to improve your shit too. No. No, I know what I got, but let me explain to you what's going on with you. Even if they're not looking for it.

Yeah. Even if you're not even asking me for my fucking opinion. Yeah. Okay. I know you didn't ask for this. But I'm going to give it to you anyway because I'm right. And you need to hear this. You know, that's how Virgo is.

So how does Virgo is? So how does that affect you with celebrity? With Celebrity, it's, well, I'm also a Virgo who's an introvert. You know, people think that I'm an extrovert because I have so much energy. Right. That is just who I am as far as like, you know, personalities. But as far as how I get my rest and how I get my energy, I like being by myself. I love a long time.

I'm very personal, very, very private. Yep. Very private. Yep. And so that interferes. That's similar to Scorpio. It interferes with the celebrity shit. I don't, right.

I don't want people knowing all my shit. Like, like, when I watch stuff and I go, why are you advertising your man? Like, I would, my man would not be advertised on anything. Like, you would have to catch pictures of him. Like, we think Leslie got a boyfriend, but we don't really know what that motherfucker looked like because she don't really. Like she don't post him and we might see her out with him, but that's like I'm not going to be like you'll never see me on a reality show with my man. Right.

Like that's the type of. You'll never like there's some things you just. It's your life. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's some things I like to keep personal. And with celebrity, they want to know everything about you because I have, I am also that celebrity that's very personalable and they think which it is kind of true that I'm very much like them. It's very true.

You know, I'm very much like them. And when I was on SNL, they get to sell me all the time. So now I'm part of their household. Yeah. So when people meet me, they think they already know me. Right. So it's like, yeah, Leslie Jones. And it's like, yeah, motherfucker, I don't know who you are.

Right. And some people will know me but don't know my name. Uh-huh. And at first, it was cute, but then it started getting to where I'm not going to play trivia with you. So if you don't know who the fuck I am, please move the fuck on. Right. Like, so what's your name?

What's your fucking name? Right. Like because we're strangers and we're meeting right now. Right. Like, yeah, this is happening. So, like, I know you've seen me before, but I've never seen you before in my life. Right. So be a human being.

And I don't want to fucking hug you. I don't, like, when I first really started, I, and I'm very, like, don't, like, I'm from Compton. Don't just run up to me. Right. Like, you might get fucking straight two piece. I'm like, bap, bow. Like, you might get that, you know, instead of a, hey, sometimes I've had to tell myself, you know, you're Leslie Jones.

because people will be staring and be like, the fuck is you staring at? Like, especially in New York, the fuck you're staring at, bitch. Like, I'm fucking about to give you the clap, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, and then you go, oh, shit, I'm Leslie Jones. I forgot. I'm not at the bus stop. Oh, fuck, oh, shit, oh, fuck.

I'm not, oh, you know. So, and you know, in New York, New York brings a lot of humility to anybody who has money because it doesn't matter how much money you have. At one point, you're going to have to get out the car and walk because the traffic is fucked up. Right. Or get on the fucking train. It's one point you're going to have to do that. So you deal with that.

But then people in New York, like I'll put it to, people in New York, too, when they love you, they love you. And then the tourists come there. So they're crazy and they don't know. Right, right. So I remember one night I was out with my friend and we went to a play. Yeah. We stand out in front after the play waiting for the Uber. And this fucking country fucking big white bitch comes up to me and she grabs me by the back of my neck and she starts shaking.

me. Last leg job. Oh. Tom, I blacked out because my friend, all I remember is coming to and my friend was holding me like this, like you can't do that. You can't do it. No. Because I had shoved my purse. He said, you shove your purse in my fucking chest and went after and I had to grab you because I was going to fuck that bitch up. Bitch, you think I'm your fucking Monk, I'll kill you, you fucking bitch. I'll kill your motherfucker. Yo, so the family that was with her, you could tell they were from New York

and she was just visiting because they all turned to her and said, what the fuck is wrong with you? You don't fucking grab anybody like that. So I felt good that they was going off, but I was like, bitch, get me the fuck away from in front of Kinky Boots because I'm about to kill these bitches out here, like

what the fuck, right? So you got to deal with shit, like you know something like that, right? Yeah, yeah. But in L.A. It's hilarious. So in L.A. It's like, oh, Leslie Jones. Oh, I love your work.

You know, I have a play in Chatsworth that I'm doing some Shakespeare stuff. You want to come check it out. This is my cord. They still got cards out here. They still got cards out here. I was riding with somebody once. And I was like, yo, write that down. I want to get the neighbors.

It's like, you old motherfucker. Take a picture of it. You fucking ancient bitch. He's like, I don't even have a pencil. I don't think I don't know how to write no more. It's hilarious. So, like, it's like, now and I just turned 54. So it's like, people don't understand I'm actually the 2,000-year-old woman.

You've been around? I've been, I mean, it's so much stuff. Like, when me and Lenny talk, you know, Lenny Marcus. Whenever me and Lenny writing and stuff, when Lenny be like, God, you know about shit that I never would think that you know about. And I was like, yeah, dude, like, I have lived every. My dad was an army. He was in the army and went to Korea twice. And, you know, like, he's just like, you know, we were everywhere. Did he move you around a lot?

Oh, man, so many fucking places. Right. So it's like, I went to white schools. I went to black schools. I went to white college. I went to, I did. I had all the experience. Everything, yeah. So, and him, he was a DJ, too. So there was nothing musical that I didn't know about. You know what I'm saying? Because he thought I was going to be a musician because I knew music so well. Like I was just like I would know the instruments. Did you play? Did you play?

So many things he tried. He brought me an organ. He brought me a guitar. He was like, you're just not musically inclined, are you? And I was like, no, I don't want to learn that shit. I don't want to take the time. I learned on the organ so he could sell it. I learned solid night.

So when the people would come over, he would go get on there and play side of night. So I get on there and play side. And it don't matter what time of the year it was. And then I would push that button and go, boom chika, boom, chika, boom, chika, lit night. that's the only thing musically I can't fucking

and the chopsticks but who was cooking for you when you were a kid oh every well the good food that I remember is from my big mama

my dad was a crazy person he would see stuff on TV and just automatically know he can cook it oh really? He oh my God my dad would make up shit

and we would be like this is just meat and vegetables like you just found a new way to cook meat vegetables, daddy, because that's literally all you fucking... He got this wok, and he would cook everything in this walk, and we would die because it was just like his macaroni and cheese. You can't cook macaroni and cheese in a fucking walk.

But he'd be like, watch me. Watch me. Watch me do this. This walk, I love this, motherfucker. We hated washing it. We hated storing that motherfucker. We hated that walk. But he would make this thing called goulash, which was actually really good.

And it had all the meats in it. Right. Chicken, beef, pork. It's shrimp and we fucking used to, but it was nothing but fucking mixed vegetables in a frozen bag and all a bunch of meat that he'd throw in that walk and let that shit fry. And we used to fuck it up. That in his spinach cassero. Oh, man. Which I still fix to this day, to this day is really fucking delicious.

Really? And it's one of the easiest things to fix. What do you make? What do you do? Okay. So you put onions and I prefer real bacon, but you can use turkey bacon, but choose a bitch and that's not going to taste good. So go get some turkey ham. If you're going to have to use something other than fucking bacon, you piece of shit.

Just take all the fucking joy out of your goddamn life. You're getting spinach with your punk ass. Anyway, so you fry all of that in the skin. And with the oil and everything, then you take a can of spinach and pour it in there with the juice and everything. Let that simmer. Let's simmer. And then you take two eggs and crack it inside of the spinach. You can stir it in there, like scrambling.

let it like scrambled a little bit. You can use more than two eggs, and so it can become kind of kishi like in the skillet. And then just let that simmer, lower it, then put a bunch of fucking cheese on top, shredded cheese on top, and then I, what I used to love was the slice thin tomatoes

he would put on top of that. Oh, nice. That was the shit. And me and my brother would literally fight over that shit. Because it was so fucking good. It's so fucking good. Oh, man. He must have loved making that for you.

Yeah, because it was the only way he can get us to eat. You know what I'm certain? And we would fuck it up like that and he could fix breakfast really good. Yeah, well, that's good. Where was your mom? My mom could cook too. My mom could cook too. She could cook too.

But she could only cook particular things. Like I only, my mom could fry the fuck out of anything. She could fry fish chicken. She could fry that shit. Yeah. Like, motherfucking perfection. Yeah. The right seasoning.

The right amount of fry. Oh, my God. The amount of fry. It was a motherfucking legend. She was a legend. Yeah. Who had a bigger influence on you, do you think? Are equal?

Yeah. It's so equal. Yeah. My mom is definitely where my kindness and my love for God and my love for trying to be empathetic for people comes from. That's definitely my mom. She was sweet. My mom would get out the car and she would get out the car and she would throw candy. Like she would get out the car and throw candy and the kids would just.

No, really. She was just like that. Like, what the fuck is John? I ain't going to do today. But she was like hardcore though as far as like, you know, parents back then were hardcore. And I appreciate that they was. I always think every ass woman I got, I deserved. Trust and fucking believe.

And people, and I don't say because I feel like it's a thing that you have to do with your family. You figure out how to discipline your children. But you definitely should discipline your children, you know? I mean, it is a potential. thing like you're getting them ready for the world. Yeah. Like, showing them boundaries and all of that is a very important thing.

I hate when parents, they go, I'm not going to raise them like I did. Well, you're actually a good person. You're actually a well-balanced fucking human being that fucking gets it. And you don't hurt other people. So don't fucking,

like, rat on your parents. Yes, they were hardcore, but that's what they came from too. My dad came from a very hardcore upbringing from his stepfather and his father used to just like fuck him up. Right. But like what he learned,

was that discipline was very important. It was not about discipline. It's about keeping that discipline. Yeah, I think your key word is boundaries. Roundaries, yes. That thing, that really, like, whenever I doubt what I'm doing or saying, and they're angry with me and it'd be so easy to just, like, let, I've got two girls, just let them do whatever.

It's like, no, they've got it when you go out into the world, your parents just saying, like, you know, you literally walk up to a situation and you have that, lesson in your head like one step further and that's too far. I've gone beyond the boundary. Right. And you know, you know when you know it, you go, okay, I know I'm fucking up. Yeah. And I don't think kids are being taught that now. I think kids are really being taught, you know, be who you are. And which is great. In some, in some regard it is. It is. But you still have to teach them boundaries. Right. You have to teach them that they have to respect other people's

thoughts and the way they feel. Totally. And because like I had this, conversation with my aunts and I was just like yo you guys are like a half percent away from being trumpers to me like because they're from the south and some of the stuff that I was like like the rhetoric I understand the rhetoric that you're trying to teach because you just want people to do right but it's not working like that's right not actually the truth you're not really telling the truth what are they doing what it's just like some you know Bible stuff Bible stuff and you know we was talking about gay people and the things that they were bringing up and I was just like it's just not a valid you just don't have a valid you just don't have a

that argument to be in other people's business. It's like whatever God thinks, that's between them too, though. And then this is what I tell people when they go to the Bible with this gay stuff, it's an abomination and all that. I was like, well, first of all, you're talking to Old Testament. That's Leviticus. That's Old Testament. And the whole theory is that he sent his son to die for all those sins.

So you can have a personal relationship with him. That's the whole thing. So you're not supposed to be in their relationship. And then I tell the people, I go, God, man. platypuses and pink dolphins. He can't make a transgender man or a transgender woman. He's not that creative to make a gay man or a gay woman. That's just, right. Have you seen a peacock? I mean, like literally have you seen? No, we don't know where eels come from. Right. No, this is a scientific fact. The old eels swim into Bermuda Trangle and then new eels.

come out. Did you know that? No, what are you saying? I swear I put this on my life, Tom Papa. Go look it up. We don't know what make eels. Ills don't have a reproductive system. They don't have eggs. They don't self-produce. They swim in fresh and salt water.

And when they get old, they swim into the Bermuda Trangle and new ills swim out. I put this on all of the money in the world. Oh my God. I never heard this. Yes. Did you not? No, I've never heard it. Another phenomenon, owls. Look it up cuss. What's it with owl? Owls. First of all, go look up an owl without his feathers. It will fucking freak.

Why is it? It will make you. It will make you. It. Yeah. It does. And the motherfuckers are hardcore. They break, they decapitate you before they get you to the fucking nest. Like eagles are scared of aisles. They literally predatorily chase them. There's two owls in my neighborhood. Oh, be afraid, homie. And they're killing everything. They're killing everything. Trust.

And do you know that eyes are not eyes? They're just tubes. What do you mean? Because they don't have eyes. They have to be able to turn it. I'm telling you, son. So God can create something like that. And just a gay man, he just ain't going. Just a gay man.

It's something that he just not going. That's not it. It's too complicated. No, let me tell you another story. This woman had twins. There was two twin boys. One was bigger than the other. They ended up, she wasn't getting nutrients in her body. The big twin ate the small twin. Okay?

In the womb? It happens. You know, that happens. That happens with twins sometimes. Right. So the bigger one ate the smaller one, right? Oh, my God. Okay, so he was born. Then she got pregnant again, had a daughter. So I think the daughter was like two years old.

He was like, I think, three or four, something like this. So she looked at him. one day and said, do you remember when you ate me? What? And then the woman goes, what the fuck? What are you talking about? What, I don't understand. What do you mean?

And then the boy laughs. It goes, yeah, I remember. And then she goes, wait a minute. Let me sit you fucking down. And you tell me what, she said, yeah, mom, it was a time. I thought I was going to die. We wasn't getting any food. And he ate me.

And then the brother's like, yeah. And then she tells him the story. She tells him the story. And he was like, yeah, that's what happened. And then she goes, it's okay. And then she does her hand like this. She goes, it's okay. I didn't really want to be a boy anyway.

I wanted to be a girl. So it's okay. I got what I wanted. What? Do you understand what I'm saying? Almost, almost. But this is what I'm saying. No, I know you're saying.

She would have been transgender, wouldn't she? Right, of course. Right? Yeah. So I'll just be like people stop putting God in this box of unimagination. Yeah. How do you have a great imagination and God doesn't? Right.

That's just stupid. stupid at this point. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. I really think that when everything comes to the end, God's just going to sit there with a big glass. You know how they had a big scotch glass and with a big ice in there. Yeah, yeah.

You're just going to be swirling around like, oh, y'all was wrong. Oh, y'all was wrong. You was wrong. You was wrong. Ain't no Catholic heaven up here. Ain't no Baptist heaven up here. It's just heaven.

Do you go to church? I haven't found one that I like to go to. Did you when you were a kid? Yes, a lot. Oh, yeah, we went to church. Which ones? All day. How were you raised? I was Baptist. You were Baptist. Yes. Yes. The good choirs, to get the same. Yeah. Yeah. The place that looked fun. When I was sitting in Catholic church and then you'd see what Baptist was and you're like, are we doing the same thing? My friend took me too. Yeah, my friend took me to it and I was like, yo, man, I'm not going to get up again. I'm not like all this up and down. Like, I'm getting dizzy and shit. I don't want a meal again. And then why are y'all letting this dude put the chip in your mouth?

Like, that's nasty. You don't know where his fucking finger's been. Like, I literally was complaining the whole service. Like, this is, what? And then he's singing. And so somber, somber. It's like. Even the songs sounded sad.

I think when I told my mom, I think I told my mom, I was like, I know why the devil messes with them a lot. Because I was like, have you noticed in every scary movies is Catholics? Like, so I know why the devil messes with y'all. Because y'all are boring. Y'all don't sing. If you sung, like, we're, you know, sung, y'all was scared the devil away. So why don't you, why don't you go to Baptist Church now?

Oh, I just still haven't found a good church. And plus it's COVID. I'm not trying to go to church. Oh, right. So it's not. But it's like I haven't found a good church. I had one before I left, but yeah. I just haven't found a good church yet. It's just about, you know, but I have a relationship. Yes, I miss the singing. I love singing. I love to see the choir. I love to see, I love to hear a good preach and stuff. But I have a personal relationship with God, too. So. I find it. You know, I find it in pockets where I can find it until I can find a good church. It's a different thing. It's like you drive home from church and you're different than when you grow there. Yeah, you're supposed to be not so much as different as restored. Yeah. It's supposed to be

a restoration. That's a good way to put it. That's what people, people, people just have things. They just, their brains, they don't think, like, you know, is there held? Well, if you, God is a loving God, and if you ask them for something, he gives it to you. And if the life, that you want is without God, then he's going to give it to you, and that's what hell is. Seriously, I mean, that's what you want it, you know? So I really think that it's my faith, and it's just my faith and my belief in what I, you know, what I practice. And it's gotten me through my life.

Like, I can't, if we get to the end of this life and to find out it wasn't real, I got to say that I'm glad that I kept this happy philosophy up because it gave me more joy than just being sad and cynical and crying myself to sleep every night. Yeah, when you see what the option is. Exactly. It's like, who knows if you're right or wrong? It's like, but it's a lot sunnier and more fun over here. It's definitely a lot more joy and I like myself and I'm not going around hurting other people.

Because I want to make this point, the Christians you see that's attack, those are not Christian. No. That's another, that's religion. That has nothing to do with what you. what Jesus was saying you wanted to do. I think they mix religion up with a relationship with God. Religion is a man-made thing that y'all do to make yourself feel good. But sometimes God is not really in that. That's something you do for yourself. It's the same thing as when other people do the Buddhism and do stuff like that. They need to have a set of rules that they can follow. So this is what

they believe. Do you get what I'm saying? But God, if you don't have an actual personal relationship with him, meaning that I just don't understand why you wouldn't have a person in relationship with someone who knows you. It's like God is not sitting there going, you know, I didn't know Leslie was like this. She curses? And smokes weed. Jeez. No, we're not in our perfect form. Every day striving to get to our perfect form.

There's no such thing as perfection. He sent the person who had perfection. We killed him. So there's no such thing that we're just striving to. move every day and love each other and love God, that's what it's about. Right. It's just. What is your, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what is your, when you

think of like how to be better and how to work on stuff, what's the, what's the biggest failing that you have? That I have. Yeah. Like what's the part of you that's like, oh yeah. Oh, I'm so bad at that. Oh, you sound like a Scorpio. Yeah, God talks to me all.

Because if Virgo's, if you turn on us, we just. You don't come back. And it takes a lot to get me to that time. I'm telling you, my sister sitting right there, she would tell you the same thing. I will let it go, let it go, let it go. But when I'm done, it's over. It's over, son. It's over, son.

It's over. Like, you have to come back with some real force of apology. And I'm the type of person, let me tell you how you apologize to me. You don't just say, I'm sorry. You go, hey, I shouldn't have done that. Whoop, who, who, who, who. I shouldn't have done this, this and this. I apologize.

Because you need to acknowledge what the fuck got done. Because when you just say I'm sorry, what the fuck you're sorry for? Why are you sorry? You know why you're sorry? Because then we're not even understanding each other. So, yeah, that's the forgiveness is a really hard thing for me. So what I do is I have this list. I have a shit list.

You do? Yes. So whenever I ask someone to the shit list, I have to take someone off. How many people on the shit list? Oh, it's a fucking, it's something. times people show up and I'd be like, he's on the list and I didn't fucking, I forgot you on the list.

You're on the list. Or either, like, you know, I've been doing comedy 20 years before I got famous. So it's like, I know all these people and I know all they dirt. So then someone on a call and you'd be like, why does the motherfucker call me? You know, you know, this one's fucking calling me the piece of shit. What the fuck he texts?

I didn't get my fucking number. Like, you're on the shit list. But then when I put somebody new on, I go back and look at that list and go, all right, I can just, they can go off. They're off. They're off. You forget why they're on.

Yeah, that's what it is. I don't really remember what they did to me, so take them off. Take them off. Did you have more people lifting you up or more people getting in your way? When I made it? Work-wise, work-wise. When I made it or? No, on your way, in those 20 years of being a comedian.

When I first started, no one, no one wanted me to be. My brother, everybody was like, you've lost your mind. Well, first of all, the way that I did it, you know, out of college. I literally dropped my scholarship and everything because I just wanted, I touched the mic. And I was like, I'm going to be a fucking comedian. I'm not going to be a basketball player. I'm not going overseas and fuck this shit.

I'm a red shirt and I don't want to be in college and I hate school. And I want to be a comedian. Wow. So my dad called me and I was like, I was like, I lost my scholarship. And he was like, well, what do you mean you lost it? And I was like, I lost it. You know, they took it away. And he was like, they can't just take your way.

I'll call the coach. I was like, don't call the coach. I'm glad they took it away. I don't want to play basketball. And he was like, what the fuck you're talking about? The basketball's playing for your college. And I was like, yeah, this is not working out. I'm not even fucking going to class.

I'm like the worst student here. My grade point average is at 1.9. It's just awful. So he was like, you're fucking talking crazy. He was like, well, if you're going to come home, then what the fuck are you going to do? Because you're not going to just live in my house and fucking not do nothing. You're going to go to school. You're going to fucking work.

What are you going to do? And I was like, oh, well, that's great. I'm going to be a comedian. Right. He was like, what? I was like, I'm going to be a comedian. And it was quiet. And then he said, are you out of your fucking mind?

He was like, you have never made me laugh, ever. You're not funny at all. I've known you your whole fucking life. You never made me laugh. And I was like, Dad, I make you laugh all the time. He's like, that doesn't fucking count. I was like, I'm going to be. And then I go, I'm going to be the next Eddie Murphy.

What? Fucking Eddie Murphy's not fucking Eddie Murphy. you fucking crazy. Diane, get on the phone. Tell your fucking daughter. She's lost a fucking mind. Like, die. And I was, he was like, what the fuck you're going to live?

You're not going to live in my house. And be a motherfucker fucking comedian. And I was like, well, I'm going to live with my boyfriend. Click. Whoa. So it was three years before I talked to him again. Wow. Now, wait, let me just go back for a sec.

You had to have been funny as a kid. It's too natural. There's too much going on. There was one point. I have a picture the day that my dad told me I was crazy. Uh-huh. The day he was like, this is the day. I knew you were crazy.

I have this picture and I just literally was standing there in my hair and I just I looked like I had just did some psycho shit. He was like we was trying to figure out

were you a psycho or were you just fucking a silly ass motherfucker or because you were fucking crazy. Like you were like a Tasmanian devil. Yeah.

It couldn't have come that far out of left field. I was just, I was just always silly. And then to when I see old friends they'd be like, yeah, you were fucking crazy

when you were young. Like you was, and I was like, I don't remember none of that. They was like, yeah, he was pretty fucking goofy. We knew something was going to happen. I was like, I didn't, because that's how I got introduced to comedy. I went to college, and I'm not knowing why I'm getting invited to all the parties and shit.

I'm not even understanding. I'm just thinking that, you know, I'm popular. I'm on a basketball team. They was like, then he was like, no, you're fucking hilarious. Right, of course. So she signed me up for a contest for the comedy contest and she came to me. Who did? Who signed you?

De Nita Abernathy. We're still friends today. And she said, I signed your for a comedy contest. And I was like, what? She was like, don't be seen. I was like, bitch, I didn't tell you to do that. What the fuck? And then I was just like, after a couple of minutes, I was like, well, you think I could do it?

And she was like, yes, bitch, you could do it. You can fucking do it. Your ass is funny, you know? Yeah, yeah. It was just. And you went up? And I went up. And I went up.

As soon as I touched the mic, it was like, as soon as I heard that first laughter was just. Crowdwork? No, I was doing some. manufactured joke I had fucking made up about my uncle and people were laughing and all I could think was I could it was just a feeling like I had just took some kind of drug or something it was just like oh shit this is it this is it that's exactly what I felt like I felt like oh my god this I can't believe I found what the fuck I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life I'm going to do this the rest of my life amazing it was no doubt in my mind yeah yeah and I had talked about

I told myself, I was like, if you're going to be a comedian, then you have to be a good one. Yeah. You know, if you find out that you're not funny, you have to quit. Right, right, right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. You got to respect comedy. Yeah.

I respected it to that point, like, where I would be like, I won't do it if I'm not good at it. Right. That's how much I loved comedy. Right, right. So, uh... See, that's the thing, like, whenever I talk to my kids, I'm, I'm, I keep dropping into your father's head, but when I drop, whenever I talk to my kids, if they tell me they don't want to do something that I had an idea of, like, maybe they should be doing,

the thing I look for is the passion. Do they have, or are they telling me, Dad, I know you want me to live this way. I'm not living that way. But this turns me on so much. If there's that drive in that passion, even if I don't understand it, I feel like I've got to be aware enough to be like,

that's enough. Because you know that's all it takes. If you have that passion, it doesn't matter what's going to come in your way. It was what they was trying to tell me for basketball. Right. My coach would tell me I can talk to you. to I'm blue in the face, but if you don't have the passion for this, it's never going to happen.

Right. And I was the most, I was a good player at time, but I was the most inconsistent fucking player. I would play great. I would fucking do a tournament and fucking score 15 to 20 points and block shots and rebound. I was a rebounder. That was my shit. Yeah. And rebound and get awards.

And then the next game, I would fucking suck because I don't feel like being there. Right. Like I would just suck. So the only thing that would make me play good is if I was pissed off. So my coach would just piss me off before he ever game. And I would just be like, what a fuck you do this before every game? I fucking hate you. And then I would go out and fucking murder on the court.

He had you. He had you. That's so great. That's a child. That's a good coach. Oh, my God. He would just be like, you play how you practice. You play how you practice.

And I took that into fucking comedy. So how long did it take for your father to come around? Well, he, I, you know, it's so weird because the last conversation I had with him before he passed, I just remember all of it came into that conversation. Oh, yeah. And it was like, well, wow. I was like, did you see me on BET? He was like, yeah, I did see you on BET. And you were really funny.

Really? He was like, I want to be your manager. But he was really sick at the time. And it was, you know what, Tom, if he wasn't, he would have been a great fucking man. Like, he was really, like, he had Tony Tony Tony Tony at one point. Oh, really? Yeah. Like he was like really, the stuff that I'm doing now is what he wanted to be into.

Like he wanted to be in the business. So he would fucking be losing his mind. Yeah, he'd be so much fun. Yeah. He'd have two walks. Yeah. So he was just like you, two walks? He'd have a walk.

Yeah, two walks. Two walks. I know it sounded like Star Wars. No, I meant two walks. He'd be baking up two walks. Oh my God. It's just so funny because I think about that and I go, Oh, my dad would just love the moves that I'm making right now.

Yeah. Yeah. Because my dad used to tell me all the time, this is why I think I've always been, not cocky, but just very, very confident in person I am. Yeah. Is that my dad would always tell me all the time like, hey, it doesn't matter if you're a woman, if you're black. He was like, they're going to tell you that. He was like, but as long as you're working hard and you fucking do, like even if you're a street cleaner, if you're the best street cleaner, that's fucking important. He was like, it doesn't matter.

Whatever you do, be the best of what the fuck you can do. He was like, don't let them tell you just because you're a woman and you're black that you can't do something. If you work your ass off, you can fucking make anything happen. So I always thought that. So it was so funny when I came into comedy, the fucking things that came against me, I was like, that don't make sense. Like people would be like, I'm telling you, I had T.K. Kirkland come up to me and say, hey, you're a female. You can't perform like that. First of all, why don't you have an address?

And he, you know, when you're talking about dick pussy. and women are not supposed to talk to that. So I let him finish. Because at first, I was like, first of all, why are you even talking to me? I don't know you. You're a fucking stranger. And I will fuck you up because I am from Compton

and who the fuck are you motherfucker? Like, first of all, you've touched my hand. Don't touch me. It's like the woman on the street in New York. I flipped this fucking hand away from me. And I said, first of all, I have a pussy. So I have the authority to talk about pussy. Now, if you want to talk about my dick jokes,

let's discuss that. I said, because I've had plenty of dick too. So for you to come over here and tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing on stage is really rude. Yeah. And step the fuck off, son. So women wasn't like that. Right. So the word got around that, oh, she got a mouth. Oh, now you're trouble. Oh, I could give two fucks. Right. Don't put me up motherfucker and see what the fuck happened. Right. I tear this bitch up. Like, and I was, and I was straight out of confidence too. So I was very gangster. Right. Very gangster. knew all the gangsters and it was just like

like I knew easy E Ice Cube all of them when they wasn't who they was Dr. Dre used to DJ and I fucking park and then we were so I knew so it's like when people were originally motherfucker who you know because I probably know him

yeah yeah like it was it was just like he would pull stuff and I would bring my brother my brother's one of the most hardcore fucking crypts oh yeah with Compton and I remember remember he came to a show one night because TK had to just talk to so much shit. And I was just like, I want to embarrass you now.

Because like, you know, you're a woman. I'm a woman. I was really fine then. I had long hair. You know, I was very, you know, and so back then, you know, Camines would try to fuck the girls. Right. You know, it was known to sometimes girls had to fuck to get on, on the road, all this type of

shit. Oh, I was going to kill all that. Because I wouldn't fuck none of y'all with my enemy's pussy is what I would tell them. I wouldn't fuck you with the bitch. I hate the most. I wouldn't even use her pussy to fuck you. Right? So I would come at them like that.

So we were sitting at a bar one night and I was looking at TV while before we got to go up and TK is sitting at the other end. And, you know, loud. You know, when the comics is loud, they don't really have nothing to say. They're just loud. So he looks over me and he goes, I want to see who Leslie fucking with. Who she fucking with. Who she know. Who she fuck with.

Like who you like. And then I just looked at him. I was like, what are you talking about? He was like, I want to know who you fuck with. Like who you go out with. What people you hang around? I said, if you know anybody that I know, I have to make some phone calls. And he was like, what?

I said, if you know the people I fucking know, I got to go call someone because you're not supposed to know who I know. Right. You real gangster, you real gangster, whatever, whatever. Okay. So then we're doing a gig in Normandy Casino right down the street with my brother. My brother was like, yeah, I'm going to come see you perform and bring some dudes up there. And I was like, Keith, do not fucking come up here.

strap. Like I had to give him a lot. Do not come up here strap. Fucking make sure you have no crack on you and all that. You know, I'm like, please like, please like this is my job. Motherfucker, don't come in here beating up obscurity. Like I was like, don't come. You know, you got to tell them all this shit, right? Right. So, and they're hardcore. So like come in, you better have some drinks for them. I'm like, the motherfuckers is like gangsters, right? So they're sitting in the back. And I'm sitting in the back. And T. T.K.'s like, yeah, yeah. I'm in Compton. And this. house and whoop, whoop, and I know so, so, so. And I was like, I just was like, and he was like, yeah,

as you say you from here, you know, and I was like, yeah, I am. I was like, and all these people you yelling are like, punks like you're like, like I've known them as punks. I was like, you don't know. I was like, you know what? TK, my brother's here. You want to meet him? He was like, yeah, because I probably know that nigga.

You know, you're a boop, whoop, you know, you know, you're in a boop, you fin a C left. So. This is perfect. My brother, like I said, I'll put it like like this. I sat down with my brother to watch the wire. And we only watched one episode because he was like, all these people would be dead. We would kill them all. He's like, this wouldn't be a series. He would die. He would die. He would, he was like, this is the most unrealistic

shit I've ever seen. So I never saw the wire. Wow. I've never seen the wire. And because it's not realistic. It's just like, he was like, yeah, this people, this is a fucking bullshit. Like this. Right. Like, he was like, why is he keeping the crack there? What the fuck is wrong? This is, like, He was just like, That's not how it goes. Like, we would have killed that motherfucker. Like, he would not made it to episode two. He gets to say the whole series, wait, me, this motherfucker fucking boy?

Oh, no. We, are we killing everybody on this street. Like, he was like, why are you one? He was like, let's go to the corner. You could see a real wire. Oh, my God. So this is how a car goes over. Yeah, yeah.

So TK approaches the table. Oh, no. His back turn. I'm worried about TK. Oh, so we had his bad, had his back. Back turned to it and then my, Gilbert, Gilbert looked up and Gilbert is just

dirty. Gilbert was like, look at this motherfucker, right? So my brother turned around, he was like, and I was like, yeah, he was like, when you bring this bitch ass ass nigga

over here for him? He just starts like, what the fuck is like? Right off the bat. And, TK, I have never seen anyone go, oh, dude, how you doing? Yeah, it's really nice to meet.

Like, yeah, your sister's fucking great. Like, ah! What I said, but you told me, know everybody in confidence. Where are you going? He's sweating through his suit.

Hey, I got to go. I got to go. Yeah. My brother's like, yeah, you better take your bitch ass. Like my brother, now did your brother know stories about him or he just sized him up right right then? Just immediately knew. Because my brother would tell me stuff about men.

Now I listen to it, but man I wasn't listening. But he was like, dudes are half of what they tell you, if that. Wow. Wow, that's pretty wise. And then he would say, never go back. You already knew why you left him. You're going to go back and get some of the same shit. Right, right, right.

Why I go back. Yeah, yeah. Like, he would tell me great advice. Yeah. He would say if the motherfucking, but he would use other words, the motherfucker lied one time. Uh-huh. And then lied again.

He is a liar. Right. He's never going to tell you the truth. He said, because you accepted the first lie. Right. He would always tell me shit, just like, Wow. He would see guys that, oh, man, I remember one time I went out with this guy and this guy

couldn't, he didn't even have no money to give me gas. And my brother had to come over to give me money for gas. Oh, boy. And he looked at this and he was like, you piece of shit ass, motherfucker that's you doing sitting up with my fucking sister fucking her. And you can't even give her no motherfucking gas money. Get your bitch ass to fuck. Like he would just be.

Yeah. Well, he had your back. Sometimes. My brother, when I started doing comedy, that's when the problem started. He just, my brother. just a tainted relationship me and my brother had before he just it's just till he died he just he was he was and i did he didn't understand that i was actually really trying to make him part of everything but his part yeah you know like he just couldn't understand like he probably

would now because he was older but yeah and he didn't understand that yeah come on the road with me sell CDs with me afterwards. Do that type of hustle stuff with me. Protect me. Yeah. You know, get my money. Part of the team. Part of the, you could like, right now you would be that dude. Yeah. Yeah. But he didn't feel like that, you know, he wanted to be the guy. You know, ganges are real chauvinness too, you know. Yeah, he wanted to be the guy. Yeah. And a lot of men are like that. Like, I have a problem with, you know, a lot of men say that they're

secure in themselves, but a lot are not. there. I've dated guys who are very insecure and it's such a turnoff. It's just like, you know, I like you because I'm fucking you. I'm a badass bitch. I don't fuck no punk ass motherfucker. It's like, I'm fucking with you. You should take that as credited as I'm fucking with you. But it's like, I've had me. It's rare. I can't get you. You know, I can't buy you this. I can't. I don't, I didn't ask you to, motherfucker. I can buy. Like, what's the, like, I never understood if I, if I was looking for a woman, I would look for a woman like me, because I don't want to take care of Right. Like, why would you want to have control over a person? Right. That doesn't, it's a lot.

Yeah, the guy thing is like... I've had men tell me. I've had my friends tell me. Yeah, I don't know if I would date you. You know, I can't tell you what to do. No, you fucking can't. You shouldn't be able to tell nobody what the fuck to do. Right, exactly.

You can't tell yourself what the fuck to do. Yeah, what are you looking for? Why you can't be emotionally here for me? Right. You know, oh, well, you know, me and got to feel like they need it. You are needed emotionally, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just...

No, that's another thing. It exists. It's definitely out there, but it's not... My man is in France somewhere and he just don't even know who I am. Oh, that sounds like a nice scene, actually. Mm-hmm. Right? He don't even know who I am and I'm going to France and I'm going to him at a coffee shop or something.

He's going to be like, me more. I mean, just say, whatever, just they say, ploo-poo. And I'm going to be like, yeah, put the ploo, ploo and the tuitoo. It's so stupid, right? great. Oh, my God. All right. I have a couple more things I want to talk about before you, before you have to go.

Let me see where we're at. Yeah, you're good. Please. All right, good. You know I love you. It's always fun to talk to another comic. Yeah, 100%. And you love my bread more than anybody else in the world.

Oh, my God. It's just like, it's so crazy to know a comedian that makes bread. When Lenny told me you make bread, I was like, is that like a hobby or something? And then he was like, he has a fucking oven, like a bread oven. And I was like, this motherfucker brought a bread oven? So what is Tom Bobby? He's like a cook or something? He was like, no, he just likes to make bread.

I was like, but he's so funny. It's like, he doesn't eat the bread? What the fuck is that about? I just, I don't know. It just got into it. The other thing I'm into is the Yankees. Ah, Yankees. And where do we sit right now?

It's feeling very hopeless, right? All of a sudden. It's always hopeless with the Yankees. I don't know why you don't, you got to walk into that relationship with hopelessness as on your collar son. But it felt good like a month ago. It did. It is.

That's the love of the Yankees. You know, they, they come through and then they just fucking let you down right there. Right there at the fucking nuts is right there. You just go, you see the tenderness and then you see the tenoness leaves. It's so,

man, I'm telling you, standing is so goddamn aggravating and awesome at the same time. I know. It's just like I want to fuck him and kill him in one. stroke because it's like is your body made out of fucking paper stanton Jesus. I know.

Every till you come and you give a 1600 home runs and then you fucking hurt yourself by fucking throwing your hat on the ground. How the fuck? How the fuck does it happen to you in here and just? What do you motherfuckers eating? Are y'all not taking vitamins? What the fuck? And Sanchez, I swear to God, I swear to God, if Sanchez wasn't so fine, I would have

had him killed because I swear how the fuck do you put somebody at the fucking catcher and he can't catch. Everything's a pass ball. Oh my God! Every time that ball pops up and I'll be like, stare! What are you doing? So infuriating.

Oh, my God. So infuriating. Oh, my God. And then they got rid of Diti. Oh, that killed. I'm on a text chain with my friends from high school who are all Yankee fans. And still to this day, anything good that happens with the Yankees, we don't say yay, we don't say judge.

we don't every time anything positive we just all go dd dd we loved him dd was one of the best short stops we ever had he fucking would make it happen he would just make it happen like you got up dd was going to make some shit happen yeah and i just he was such a zing of it yeah i was so great why would y'all get rid of dd i don't know why i just just so on no and how long do we wait on jud to become the Superman we want him to be? What's the guy that left, Yankees that we fucking will always. A-Rod? No, the other one.

Jeter? Jeter. Oh, yeah. Man, I met Jeter, and I was just like, I'm so pissed that I was not into baseball when you played. You weren't? No, Lenny got me into baseball. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, so I started the S&M and you can get those seats.

Yeah, the Warren seats. So I was like, I went one time, and I was like, this is fun. And then when I met Lenny and Lenny loves the Yankees, I was like, oh my God, I would love to take somebody who fucking actually likes the Yankees to that. And me and I was like, Lenny, you want to go to a game with me? And he was like, fuck, yeah. So we didn't even know the seats. So when we got to the seat, he was like, are you fucking hitting me right now? This is what he.

No, because I would watch every game. And I would always see like, oh, Fallon's there now. Oh, what is it? And then I look, what the? Because I've known Lenny forever. And I'm leaning into the TV. I'm like, Leslie brought,

Lenny's in the seat. God. It made me so happy because there's nobody better in the world to watch baseball with than Lenny Marcus. They're fucking Lenny Marcus. Lenny knows every stat. Everything. He knows everything about baseball. And it's so fun to watch with someone like that because he made me love the,

he made me love the Yankees. Love him. And he made me love baseball. And he's so great. He loves them and has all those stats, but he's not obnoxious. He doesn't yet. He's low key and funny.

He's just Lenny. He makes you laugh like a motherfucker from it. It's just so great. Lenny is one of the grownest people I've ever met. Because he's older than me. Which is surprised. I was like, you're older than me.

I don't know why that brings so much wisdom to him. Yeah. Because he was, and Lenny can say something to me and I would take it to heart. Yeah. Because I'd be like, yeah, he's my age. So he fucking gets it and he knows I'm fucking off. Like he'll be like, you need to.

And I be like, fuck you, Lenny. I'll go home to go. He's the greatest. The first time he saw me perform on the road was I wish you were there. It was the best thing that has ever happened and the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Because I, you know, like I said, I'm from the chilling circuit. You know, you do black clubs. You know, you do an hour and a half.

That's normal. Yeah. So I'm out there like an hour and 20 minutes. I came on stage and I'm thinking, Lenny's going to go crazy. Oh my God. I can't believe you had that much for. Yeah. Then he was like, what the fuck was that?

That was a fucking egregience, a fucking arrogance. I fucking, what the fuck? No one wants to see you for an hour and 20 minutes, Leslie. No one wants to sit here for an hour and tuning. I was like, Lenny, they was going. He was like, they were fucking trying to leave. He was like, you're done at 58 minutes. You're fucking done at fucking 58 minutes, Leslie.

And I was like standing there like, what I'm doing? And then he goes, he goes, do you know how many times you said, motherfucker? you said motherfucker 57 times he counted he's a statistician I said Lenny you can't he was like I fucking

he was like you said motherfucker he was like you were just saying it like it was a a preposition like it was like why why does anyone need to use motherfucker that many times

and I was just like okay so and I was like I mean literally he did it change you You did. Yes. Because this is what my thing was. Right.

I wanted, I knew I was a wild child on stage. I wanted to be the comic that people remembered my jokes. Right. At the moment, people knew I were funny. Right. And they might remember this and that. But no one really knew what I was talking about. Right.

Now when you come and see my set now, you leave with some understanding of who I am. Right. You leave with an understanding of what I believe in. It's a whole different set. Right. And it's, it's, people. And this is why I tell people, that's how come you got to get out your cockiness. You go through it when you're a comedian, but you got to get out your cockiness because

if you get out your cockiness, you could have someone come along and change your shit and help you go into a direction. I've always believed in other people giving me tags and help me. But like I had never really had someone really going to my jokes. No, that's rare. How to form it. Like, and Lenny. That's rare.

I'm telling you, Lenny, and he wrote me a list. I didn't believe in taking paper on the stage. He got me into that. He was like, you need to pay attention. And at first I was taking that, I wasn't doing it. I was trying to remember shit. He was like, the reason you didn't do the joke right is because it's on the fucking page. And you just turn around and look at your fucking notes.

He's like, don't nobody give a fuck if you're looking at your notes. They just think that you give a fuck. Like, start giving a fuck. You're not giving a fuck by not looking at your notes. He said, that's why the joke didn't work. The joke didn't work because you didn't say it the way you were supposed to say it. You try to do it this way. And it didn't find.

That is a rare thing. I'm talking about and it's like it really made me and Lenny Bonn in a way because you would argue a lot. I would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's fucking funny. You didn't see the people laughing. He was like, it's only fine because you said deck twice. And that I thought like he would just. What the fuck you? It's just like, you know. It's good Lenny. But it's so it changed. That's a rare thing to have somebody go to bat like really be honest with you like that. How many times? How many times? How many times? he's done it with a lot of comedians. Lenny's been doing that his whole fucking career with comics and helping

them and no one fucking helped him. No, I literally, he's been trying to get on Jimmy Fallon forever. No one fucking ever. And I was like, yeah, you're going to do Fallon. Like I called Jim Bell and was like, yeah, here's this fucking clip. Why is he not on, on he'll be doing it next week.

Wow, that's great. Like, no, like he's, he deserves it. Like, Lenny is my writer, he's my executive producer on all the shit that we do. Supermarket sweet. Supermarket, Supermarket sweep. He's an executive producer on that. We just sold two movies.

He's ex-producers on that, writers on that. It's great. It's fucking awesome. That's so great. No, he's been a good friend of ours for a long time. I had him open up my special, the first special that I did. Oh, my God. He's just like, he's so funny, too.

Yeah, he's really good. I'm going to see him on Tuesday. He's doing my show on Tuesday. I told him, I said, you know, I said, I know, I said, I need you to understand. It always goes back to the Alchemist for me. is that you start off with one dream and you go through life and you find out that you're good at other shit. Yeah. And this is just not just like I found out I'm not just a comic.

I am an actress. I am a writer and I do other stuff. Yeah. And a host. You can't just put yourself inside of a fucking box and go, that's all you do because then that's all you're going to do. So I had to really tell him. I was like, I know you want to be a comedian. I know this, you know, the team.

I said, but you're good at this stuff too. Like he's so fucking good. Yeah. Oh my God, speak, executive speak. He's so fucking good at it. Like he's so good at translating and all that stuff. So I was like, you've been doing this already. Like we edited my special.

Like we edited the last season of Supermarket Sweet. That's all me and Lenny. So it's just like you've been doing this. I said, I know that you want to. I said, but that's going to come. I said, but right now look at what's happening. We're writing. We're getting this stuff out.

And, you know, soon I'm going to produce his special. Right. Right. Right. Right. No, that's perfect. That's so great. So crazy. That's so great. How do you like supermarket sweep? I like it. The business part of it is fucking crazy. Well, you ended up taking on a lot more than you thought you were going to. Yeah, man, you know, I know that I want to have my name on stuff because you want to own it. You want to definitely be the, you know, but it's fucking hard. It's a lot of stuff. Dealing with fucking suits, man. Suits and they all are fucking stupid. They shit floats. A lot of them motherfuckers. A lot of them motherfuck. fuckers then made it to that position because they just stayed if that makes any sense yeah so it's a lot

of things and first of all they're not used to talent coming in and making decisions they used to talent coming in going okay where i stand at yeah i'm not like that i've never been like that yeah if i was like that time i would have made it in my 20s and 30s right and that's real talk i keep i tell everybody i said y'all didn't find the formula because i've been doing this for a long time you didn't find the formula i had to redo myself and find the formula myself right now that i know what the formula is you motherfucker's going to have to listen to me now. Yeah, you can't mess with this. Basically, I don't fit into the square cog.

Right. Like, if I did, then I would already been famous. Yeah. Because I haven't changed much. Why did you call me if you want me to be different? Exactly. And that's what I tell them. So it's like they're not used to be going, no, I don't.

And then to the, um, uh, what do they call it? I don't like fake stuff. I like, uh, authentic stuff. I don't like, uh, made up stuff. So there was a point where they were like, oh, everybody needs to look happy when I know. No, they lost. They're supposed to look like they fucking lost the chance to win $100,000 because you know what? Our job is as the industry is to show people what fucking emotions is.

And it's not always happy. Right. Christmas is not always happy. Right. It's, it's, it's, they lose sometimes. You fucking lose. Yeah, yeah. So get, so have some emotions.

That's, that's the. Right. When you ask me about, the main thing that's killing us at this moment right now change. It's just a simple thing of change. No one wants to change. But what you have to understand about change is that it's going to happen whether you want to or not. Now it can be painful or it can be really wonderful and gradual and you can learn or it's going to be painful

because you don't want to change. That's exactly what we're going through now. Monefuckers, motherfuckers don't want to wear masks. Muffolks do want to keep up. Every, Everything is just because they're grasping on keeping shit the same. But you don't understand that it has to change so it can get better. Nothing. If we was not going to change, we wouldn't have cars. Right. We wouldn't have electricity.

We wouldn't have doctors. We wouldn't have hospitals if we wasn't allowed to grab on to change. Right. That is what our problem is right now. Right. We don't. We're scared, which is very understandable. It's very scary.

But we have to do it because our earth is dying. the people are dying on the earth civilization is going to shit because no one is grasping on the thing that we need to move to the next We've got to make big jumps Can't just make these little moves And call it change

Because because we didn't decide To make the little jumps When it was time to make the little jumps If we had did the little jumps We wouldn't have to be making these big jumps like we are Yeah yeah If we had went on to accept those little jumps That were happening

See because no one should get to the disaster And be like how do we get here We fucking know how we got here Right You know we're Right now, living the best 80s disaster movie ever made. I know. I know when you really take a deep, a deep, hard look at it.

The villains, everything. Yeah. Everything. Right. And this comedian made a really point, a good point to me. And I was just like, this is the best thing I've ever heard. White people do not have a natural predator. Right.

Y'all have to make up shit like zombies and dragons. You know. y'all don't yeah that other stuff isn't scary we know we've got that you know what I'm saying y'all not afraid of nothing and it's just like yeah oh god we got to get it we got to get in check man we got to get it in check oh man well I'm so glad you did this this is so me too so great I love you so much and I was uh I was so the last time I was in New York and I came out of the hotel and there was your picture

right heading to the Holland Tunnel. That's so funny. It was so great. You looked amazing and it was all over the city. You're going to laugh. That picture, I literally was cursing someone out in that picture. Were you really? I literally was telling somebody to go fuck themselves.

I literally was taking the ice cream going, motherfucker and they took the picture. When I saw that billboard, I was like, these motherfuckers just don't. It was one of the hardest campaigns I've ever done because they were just. They were fucking morons. It was just, oh.

That's hilarious because it looks so good. It was so, and I'm telling you, I literally was cursing the motherfucker out right in that shot right there. And they called me. That's so funny. But that's right back to the basketball. You're at your best when you're pissed off. Oh, fucking son of a bitch. And that, that's, it's like, I hope they ain't thinking this is a formula because, Lord.

Yeah, they talk to your coach. Oh, my God. So when are you going to go back on stage? Are you itching to or you feel like you can ride this break? out for a bit. You're busy. I think I'm itching too, but I am busy as far. Yeah. It's so much stuff that has to get written and done and that we have been putting off because we got hit at one time. Yeah, yeah. We got to get so much shit done. Right now. Right now, too, we're editing the show, and it's just a lot, but I would love to go up. Yeah, it would be great. And the only little

thing that just as a fan of yours, that kind of gives you a little taste of that is when you do your commentating on on Instagram of any events especially the Olympics you made the Olympics you made a weird Olympics so much fun

you're so good at that and that's when you talk about people feeling like they know you because you are in their living room and you are the best friend

just saying all this stuff that you're thinking already to like if there's a big event that's what I'm looking for I'm like this is all fun but what is Leslie up to I hope she's watching

it's so crazy and I have to tell people, you know, I'm doing that shit. I don't get paid to do that shit. Like, they wanted me to do Paralympics and I was like, no. I'm the worst. No. No. And I saw one event and I was like, I can't. I can't. I saw the blind one where they run and I'm like, no, no. Wait a minute. How was the guy the guy not getting a medal too? He's just as fast as the guy running. So why is he not in the Olympics? I had to turn it. I was like, no. I was. I'm going to offend so many people.

Nope. Leslie knows when and when not to live tweet. Put the phone down. Smart. Nope. There were so many things people hit me about me. Can you line and it's like, no. It's hilarious.

You're very wise. Well, I hope you enjoy the bread. I always do. We don't have to do these podcasts. As you know, I bring them up to your house. I'm always happy to. Oh, no. I love the bread.

The bread is the bond. I know you do. me very happy. It's so bomb. I even though the first one I got the assistant I had like literally cut half of it and took it home. I was like, well, he said it. I was like, well, did he take half my bread, bitch? Stay away from it, Angie. No, this is another one. But Angie's going to get it to all right. You're the best. Thank you, Tom. Got it, Aaron. All right, everybody. That was it. That's Leslie Jones. Such a great person, such a great guest. Thank you so much for being here, Leslie. And thank all of you for watching and listening. Continue to like and subscribe and tell all your friends about

what a great podcast we have and we'll have some more. Now I'm going to sign off because I'm going to eat this Italian little cookie, this little candy, just this little Toroni from Ferraris. That's not a plug. It's just what I'm going to do. See you next time.