Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 78 - Jackie Kashian returns!

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Jackie Kashian is super smart, super funny, and makes a super chili. Look for her new album, Stay-Kashian, launching on YouTube Nov. 16th.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey! sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you for joining us for another glorious episode. We have Jackie Cation on the program. This is one of my good friends, a very funny comedian. We've known each other for a long time. She actually was on an earlier breaking bread during the Quar, back in the before times.

I'm very excited if you were looking at this right now, you will see a bowl of Halloween candy. And that is what I'm offering Jackie today, because Halloween has just passed. And I baked bread for her, and my guests at my Halloween party ate it. So my compensation is bringing her Halloween candy, which I'm sure I know,

She will enjoy because we already did the interview. Happy Halloween to you. We're in November now, kids. Very exciting. It's Thanksgiving month. Very exciting. I kicked off with a big chili that I made for the Halloween party over at the house. It's been a 20-year tradition now.

And the chili is so second nature. I just know how to make it from years of experience. I also know not to use a wooden spoon when you are, you make it the night before and then the next day it's a little hard and you got to start stirring it. Don't use a wooden spoon as I did one year and end up with a splintered wooden spoon in the chili that you are going to serve guests in a mere four hours. Little things. That's just what experience brings you. But it was such a great thing because it is such a, it's one of those meals that is just a sign of the season. And it was a big hit.

No beans. I just go tons of chop meat and little peppers and onions to start off. And then you go seasoning crazy. Just there's nothing better than taking whole three ounce jars of chili powder and just pouring them into what you're making. Probably four of them. I think it was 12 pounds of beef. And it just came out great. And it was just so great.

It's what, this is one of those things when you're not struggling to learn how to do something new. You're just kind of reminding yourself, I'll glance at the recipe, of course. But you just know the rhythm and you know how it's done and you know it's going to come out great. Such a great way to turn the corner, wrap up Halloween and served all these people, made them very happy. And now we are just full bore with Thanksgiving in our sights. And it sounds like it's going to be a big crowd. So what I would like to do over the next couple of weeks is lean in on Thanksgiving and share a little bit about what I'm thinking and what I'm making and what I'm preparing and some things that you can do ahead of time. So you can, even if you're not going to be hosting and doing a big Thanksgiving, it's good to make some of these things like cranberries, et cetera, that you can just have on your every day as we plow through November and December.

So that is our focus here at Breaking Bread. And of course, the focus is introducing ourselves and you to great people. We have a lot of great guests from the food world coming up over the next couple of months, next couple of weeks. And we also have a lot of really good comedy people. So what more do you want? We've got comedy. We've got food people. We've got the holidays. We've got a good, healthy emergence into this next season. It's so different from last. year. Last year's Halloween party, we did it in shifts. I was reminded of it at the party that we literally had like these three people that hung out and they stayed for an hour and split. And then the next six people came in because they all were in their same little pod and then they left. Yesterday when everyone was over the house just filled with people, no masks, all vaxed, all having a great time, having gotten through it all. So I'm hopeful for a good holiday season. And look, if things go wrong and I'm totally wrong,

at least you'll have some good cranberries around the house. All right. So enjoy Jackie Cation. She has a new album out called Stacation that is coming out on November 16th. And I'll remind you of it when we get closer. But it's called Stakeation, released on YouTube through 500-pound gorilla. Just great. I have so many comedian friends that are not stopping and waiting for contracts.

They're just making stuff and putting it out there. And millions of people are turned on to great comedy. And Jackie is a great comedian. She came on live from here, the old Prairie Home Companion Show. And she was one of the best comics in the two years that we were doing that show. She's so damn funny. She's so smart. She also has a great podcast called The Dork Forest, which I was on.

And she's the best. And the t-shirt for her podcast is everyone should be wearing it. It's one of the only merch things I've gotten from somebody where I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm definitely wearing this. All right, enjoy Jackie Cation, and we'll enjoy this candy, and we'll talk more at the end. I'm eating nerds right now. What you got? Well, you're trying my nerd. I'm trying your nerds.

I was savoring a bite-sized snicker bar. Did you give away the thing? these candies? These were the candies we gave away on Halloween. I didn't. Did anyone come? Yeah. We didn't have any kids. Really? We usually got to hire kids. They didn't come. They didn't come. Wow. We're eight kids. Eight kids. What do you think? Was it a, um, was the neighborhood? Delta. Delta. Delta. I don't. I think that we're not. Everybody's not over it. They're not, yeah. Unless you travel. Unless you travel outside. side of California.

Oh, you get out of California. It never happened. It really hasn't. You're like, if they're back. I'm going to Lowell, Arkansas. Guess what? I was there in, it would have been

May 1st. Mm-hmm. Of this year? Of this last year. Yeah. And I was literally, I had just gotten my second shot and it was two weeks after my second shot.

Mm-hmm. And I'm like, all right, I'll do the road. Uh-huh. And so I went to Lowell, Arkansas. where everyone was like, yeah, we're bored now. And so they were stacked like cordwood. It was all good. And they were happy.

And they were happy. I know. Well, that's the thing. Some of them lived. Some of them died. Sure. They just, they kept moving. I've definitely put the vaccine to the test in the last month and a half.

Went back on tour and stuff. And I was like, the last one was in New Jersey at the Borgata casino. Okay. Wonderful night. and packed. And I was like, I'm selling my books after this show. And I stood out there with no mask.

And I'm like, all right, vaccine. It's on you. Let's see how good you are. And it was fine. Yeah, we're going. And we're going. All right. And it was fine.

It was fine. Did this nerd hurt you? Yeah, I didn't like that. That nerd caused some, and the weird thing is, if it were a dork, are there dorks? Oh, I don't know. All the boxes of dorks.

I brought Halloween candy for you because we have a big Halloween party for like all of the families and stuff. And I bake a big chili. I couldn't bring you that. Leftover chili, that would have been weird. And I made two breads. Yeah. And I know I've given you the bread before. And I, someone at the end, yeah, one of them, people tore into it.

Yeah. That is kind of gratified. It was kind of cool. And then at the end, there was a fight between two guests over who was going to take home the other bread. No one got it, no one received it, no one was offered it. Right, right. Fighting over who was going to take. Executive decision was made without your consent, really.

And I was like, I have to just let her have it. Just let her have it. She'd never had it before. She'd heard about it. I was like, go ahead. Yeah, take the bread. What's your favorite case? candy in this bowl.

In that bowl, it's got to be your Snickers bar. Mm-hmm. Solid. I like a recess, of course. Not that, but not this. That's what I was like, you're giving this out? What is it? It's white chocolate.

Oh, white chocolate. Oh, but look, but it's called ghost. Yeah. It's a racist ghost, get it? It's themed. Yeah. I don't mind a whopper. I like a wopper.

I like a Kit Kat. Kit Kat's all right. You're not really into the Kit Katz. Not as much. I used to like, get this, what's in here. I saw it. What?

It was a three musketeer. And my thing that cracks me up about the three musketeer is the marketing of a three musketeer is always like, we put a lot of air in it to make it look bigger. That's their, they're like, it's the biggest candy bar on the market because we put a lot of air to it. Big and fluffy. And I liked it until then, and I was like, yeah. You're full of it.

I did like them more when I was young. and silly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. That was... I was part of it. And I was telling you that Andy, Andy's a fan of the Almond Joy.

Almond Joy. That's a good, that's a good one. Are you just going to sit there any candy for this? Is you probably now? I brought the candy for you and I'm like, I didn't get to eat it yesterday. Oh, good. I didn't have any candy because Andy also made a sweet potato pie.

Ooh. I made chili. We did. And lentil soup for thems that don't eat meat. And, though I did tell I said oh I'm probably going to come home with a really nice loaf of bread

Oh no But that's that's fine I'm sick of chili I know Yeah I didn't want to eat it again tonight I didn't want to eat soon The bread would have made you eat the chili

Yeah the bread and the and he made cornbread actually He did? Is it good? It is good He makes good corn bread I apologize Now I feel terrible Well don't

can't. Because there's a pile of sugar in front of it. It's going to soothe my tears. Well, I'll bring you bread. All right, before we get into too much of the food talk and the comedy talk, tell me about your new album. Oh, right. It is very exciting. It is very exciting because I was going to record it before the world went into lockdown. And then the world went into lockdown. And then I did Zoom shows. And then I came out of lockdown. And I did 10 weeks on the road from April 3,000. first to middle of July essentially. I am, that's probably not 10 weeks, whatever it was. A bunch of weeks.

And then I recorded it at Acme, my home club in Minneapolis. Love it. And filmed it too. And since nobody had asked if I wanted to do a special. Yeah. I was like, well, just do it right. And worst case scenario, you chop it up into 60, one minute chunks and get a million TikTok followers, whatever, right?

And so that's what I've done. So you shot it and it? Shot it. Still nobody. I burned, I burned a bridge. I'm not good. It turns out I'm good at three different parts of any parts of six of my jobs at any given moment.

It's my moving target. It is very much a moving target. The one that I try to go on the straight and narrow on is always stand up. I try to commit fully to that 112% every time. The rest of it gets the rest of my attention. And sometimes when I email a person in the industry for help, I put it poorly. I say it bad. And I get an email back saying, I know you don't know how insulting your email was, but please lose my phone number. What? No. Lose my content.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Please lose my context. Yeah, it felt both accurate and a little excessive. Wow. I was like, fair enough. Let's call it. Wow. I'm sorry to laugh, but it's...

Oh, no, it was meant a baby Ruth. But I don't see you doing that. It wasn't that offensive, but it was definitely off. It was off. Right, right. Was it sent, was it sent enrage? And like, you just, if you had paused, for a couple hours, it might have been okay?

Or you just felt like, was it a passion email? It was a little bit too late in the day. It was too late in the day. I didn't curse or anything. I just, it was strategically not ideal. Yeah. I mentioned a bunch of, but then I did, I did get, I did talk to other people that were viable, who were sort of, would have been interested in it.

Yeah. If they didn't, you know, they, you know, they say they're fans and I believe. them. Yeah. And, you know, I am always reminded of what Fred Armisen said to me once. It would be 20 years ago when he first got S&L. It was right before that we were talking about, you know, what you get sort of in Hollywood. And he said, you know, you get what you get.

You get what you get. And you have to be grateful for that. Right. And what everybody else gets, you kind of want. but you get what you get that's really well put it's so simple it really is it's really so simple he's not wrong yeah that reminds me when uh when letterman was interviewed on uh in rolling stone like we are pretty pretty well after i think i don't i don't think he had retired yet i don't think so i think it was probably maybe even 10 years before so but he was just talking over the whole thing

the Leno, the Letterman, the Leno, the Letterman, on and on and on, decades, stories, movies, all the thing. And he just goes, yeah, it turns out more people like him. I was like, yeah, that's exactly it. It has nothing to do with what's right, what's wrong, who my side, your side. Yeah, numbers wise, more people like Jay. Jay Leno. Then like me. Just as a, if it were an amicus.

Right. yeah wow a lot of people like that guy that i can see it yeah that's hilarious it is funny when you see what other people have there's that thing i remember nick de paolo said to me once he was kind of aggravated that somebody it was like the um the upfronts in new york you know so they put all the ads everywhere and he's like complaining about some guy who had something i said then he's like what there's no justice that this guy has this show and we're sitting here And I was like, yeah, but you know, it's like that I'm sure in every business, you know, it's like insurance. It's like somebody's getting a promotion this week that nobody else, that no one else can believe is getting the promotion.

He goes, yeah, but in insurance, you know, have to see that guy's face on the side of a fucking bus. He's not wrong and yet he is wrong. Sometimes you see a guy's face on the side of somebody's bus and you're like, that guy. What's he doing? Sweet James. Yeah. All right. So back to your.

Back to your special. Oh, right. I should probably tell people about it, which is they should listen to the album. And they, and so what I ended up doing was I just, we're just going to put it on YouTube on 800 pound gorilla's YouTube. So great. Because they haven't set up. There's been such success with this. Yeah.

And they have it all set up where people do watch ads. Like my YouTube channel, I've set it up with ads and I've set it up without ads. Yeah. And then with ads. is irritating to me. It's irritating, but they let more people, they feed it to more people. Oh, do they? Yeah.

Do you ever notice when I took ads off, even on this podcast? Right. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, the numbers were, like, low. Yeah. I was like, what happened to the numbers? Oh. And it's like, oh, because they're in the business of selling advertising. Right.

So I suppose if I, because Jackie and Lori podcast and the Dork Forrester both on my YouTube page, and neither one of them. them do ads because I was just like it is a nice gesture right right and people I mean you can eventually skip the ads anyway but the um but so it's going to be on 800 pound gorilla what you call yeah exactly why don't we fucking get to we're too chatty we we go off into two november 16th november 16 that's right just two weeks from this very day that we're recording this god knows when it go on the youtube it's going up tomorrow going up tomorrow yeah going on the youtube going on the youtube it'll be everywhere spotify Jackie kate

It's called staycation. Staycation. Love it. And the hopes that someone will pronounce my name correctly forever. That's so hard. But I was introduced on stage last week. Jackie Cashin has a new album out on November 16th. Wait, she has a new album out November 16th.

It's called Staycation. Please welcome Jackie Cashan. I was like, what just happened? That's so funny. I've gotten to a point where I was just filming something. and I was like the center of it. Like it was a thing. And I was like almost like a day from wrapping up the whole thing.

And I saw on the call sheet that I never saw Tom Pappas, P-A-P-P-A-S. Oh, my gosh. And it's just like, you know what? There was a time when that would bother me. When I was in third grade. Right. And you couldn't pronounce her spell Papa. Yeah.

It was like, oh, I thought this road was going to be a lot easier, and it was not. Right, right. I know. And I've always used the mnemonic for vacation, and it still has not helped. I'm just like, it should be perfectly, like, oh, is that how it's spelled? Checky. Stop talking to me. Is that the way they go most of the time when they mess it up?

Cashian. Cashian. Cachian. Uh-huh. And then. And then people just go real, they go off the deep end sometimes. Go really weird. But it's so weird because you're just like, well, it's not that big of a deal.

And I don't really, I mean, whenever I say to the MC, I'm like, whatever you say, I will go on. Right, exactly. I'm coming. Anything close to Jackie. You can't stop me. Yeah, you can't stop me. I had, uh, Julie. I had someone reach out to Eliza, uh, Slesinger.

Okay. And on, and this was so, this was like, she's the, she's the wrong person to do this too. Okay. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think she, I don't think Eliza is over people messing with their name. And my assistant for the show center, what only could be explained as use every word in the alphabet and hope that you make Schlesinger out of it. Oh my gosh. It went on for like two, three.

times, two and a half times the length of Schlesinger. And then the all the number, it was just, I think there was even like a dollar sign in it. How was that received? She was not happy. It was not good. It felt bad. Right. But it was so ridiculous that it should have been like a laugh.

Right, right. Because you, she, clearly this person has just spaced out of doing it. I remember one of my first, um, uh, were not, not a first one of, but I remember emceeing one time for the first time for Kostaki, Aconomopoulos. And by the end of it, you know how to say Kostaki Akadomopoulos. But in the beginning, it's just a shit show. It's just, it's a, there's trouble. Yeah.

Yeah. Something Greek. Just go really fast. When I do my, the serious show, the XM show. Yeah, yeah. And some of the names come through and you're just like, this one just has to be done really quickly. because. Right.

If I say it, somebody said if you spell the word socks really fast, it sounds like you're speaking Spanish. And if you say it in a Spanish accent, it's Eso C-C-C-C-E-S. Eso, E-C-C-E-S. E-O, because it's E-O. E-O. E-O-S-O. C-K-E-S. Jackie Gish just quoted a TikTok she saw.

Okay. So, I just talked about myself in the third person. Oh, my God. Highlight, that's good. I should be murdered. No, it's good. I never understood why that was such an offense. Well, I think it can be once in a while.

Though I did, one time a friend of mine went out with a guy, went on a date with a guy who had one of those handheld recorders. Yeah. And it was their first date. They had the online date, right? So they had talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. They're out, they're just out for coffee. And he would occasionally unclip it and go note to self. And then remind himself.

of something. No. Oh my God. My friend Amy goes, the third time he does it. Like they're there for like an hour. The third time he doesn't, she goes, do you, do you have to do that? What is that? And he literally, what is that? He picks, he does it again. He goes, note to self. Girl doesn't like. No to self. I think he had given up on the date, is what I'm saying. That is really insane behavior. Right. That's the worst. That's worse than third person. and occasional. Now, you've been married for how long now? 15 years this year.

Do you know what that is? That's real. That is real. And then we were together for three years before that. So I do a lot of jokes about how I'm not good at this, but let me tell you something. I'm clearly doing something right. You're pretty good at it. How long you've been married?

Because you make a good chilly. I have been married for 21 years. 21 years. And then you dated for weeks. And we dated for like two before, two or three before. And yeah. But the reason I brought it up is when you are at the table next to the date, the first date, and, you know, they're not pulling out the thing, note to self.

But you can tell this is, they're asking all the questions and there's nothing better than watching the struggle. Yeah. From the other side. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's real nice. Isn't it? Yeah.

It's like hearing a traffic report when you're home. Yeah. It's, it's not, you're rooting for it. them, but it's just like you're also like, what's going to happen? Yeah. What are the hods? What are the odds are going to make it? Is he ever going to let her talk?

Is she ever going to let him talk? Yeah. What is happening? Yeah. It's so infuriating. Are they holding forth? It's, uh, yeah, I was, uh, it's good. In lockdown, Andy and I got new wedding rings.

You did? Yeah. Just as a, as a fun, um, this is, it's, I believe it's platinum. Ooh, nice. And it's just got emeralds. and copper sort of laid into it. Get this though.

It glows in the dark. Of course it does. He got the ones that were painted so that they glow in the dark. And so you go to bed at night. And we're like, where are you? Oh, there you are. That's amazing. Right.

And so because our initial, this is our initial wedding rings I picked out of the Sky Mall. and remember the Skymole. Yeah, I remember Skymall. What happened to it? Andy said, we're not getting married to Skymall rings. I don't mind the design. The design is lovely. Why did you pick it? Because they were, it was 2006 when we got married. And so remember Lord of the Rings had just come out.

And they were elven, like sort of fake elven rings. And all they are. And they're white gold with a leaf pattern around. that was in the Sky Mall in green, but the jeweler accidentally did blacken out. So whatever. And, but it's been, yeah, but. So we let you buy those and then you, no, I never, I never got married with those.

No, we had, we had gold ones made. Okay. Because the ones in the Sky Mall was, oh, I see, I see, I see. He was like, I, do we really want to get married to Sky Mall rings? I'm like, kind of. Have we met? Right. And it was like when he asked me to move in with him, he said, I'm going to, I'm, I'm looking to buy a house. And I would love to help you to help me pick it out. Right. Because I'd love you to move in with me. And we had only been dating for like six or seven months.

Wow. And I was like, well, this, this is terrifying. And I said, well, I'm thinking, what if I keep my, what if I keep my apartment, just sublet it? And he's like, like, like Paul Reiser? Like, like, like Kramer's apartment on Seinfeld? And I was like, just in case. He's like, yeah, I don't think, he said, you can do it, you know, but it doesn't feel like there's a lot of commitment there. And I was like, okay.

Just going back to the other apartment. But I just, I'm sad. Were you scared? Were you really scared? Oh, yeah, terrified. Really? Yeah. And I should have kept it. And some led it to a thousand comics because it was $4.50 a month.

month with off-street parking. Oh, my God. One bedroom. Yeah. Valley Village. Yeah, you should have. Yeah, I should have. And just financially.

Yeah. So had you lived with someone before? You hadn't, right? I had never dated. I had done, that's not true. I dated a guy in high school right when I first started doing stand-up. Right. And I had a boyfriend for a little bit less than a year.

But I was some mess. And I was, I apologized to that guy more than once to the point where he's like, no, it feels rude. Anyway, like I made some sort of error. Anyway, but the, but I never had any relationships from, from like 1986 until 2003 when we met. Wow. Yeah. Why?

Emotionally, just, I wanted to, you know, the, on paper, it was because I wanted to do stint. Right. You know, I was like, you know, focus. I'm not going to, I don't want kids. but I have five siblings. Right. There's plenty. The jackass gene runs true.

It's all working out. Right. There's no need for me to pass this son. They all half sound like this anyway. Right. And so. A little clone factory. Right.

Unnecessary. Yeah. And so I never, I never, and I never met anybody that I, you know, I had crushes on guys. But it was like I didn't, I didn't want a boyfriend or anything. that but I saw other people with boyfriends and I'd be like that is interesting. Right. And then when I was about 1999 I was I was I was I was like you know what I would like a boyfriend. I was like a whole life. Yeah right because I had just focused on God on yeah yeah and showbiz or whatever. Yeah. And I was like you know what I would I would like a boyfriend and we don't have to be married. It doesn't have to be anything but I like the idea of monogamy. Right.

It just sort of, you know, one person to sort of hang out with and see if I can do it to some extent. So I did online dating. Right. And it took three years. And every three months, I would just back away slowly from the computer, shaking, regroup emotionally, and then go back in. Because you would go out with people and then? I would go out with, yeah, there was, I probably, in those three years, in the off and on three years, I probably had 20. 24 guys that I

And like two of them were I dated twice. Right. And all the rest were one dates? All the rest of them were just sort of meet and greet. Right. Would I make out with that? Would he make out with his? Yeah.

Go forward from that place. Wow. Like speed dating and slow-mo. A little bit, but in slow-mo. Yeah. But luckily it was before, and I think it's lucky. It was lucky for me anyway.

Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know that if there are apps now that are dating apps or if they're just hookup apps. I think they're still there. Just from talking to people in the audience. But they're also themed. Yes.

And this wasn't themed. This was just through the LA Weekly. Oh, I thought it was Farmers.com. It was essentially comics, dating comics. It was just kind of an open thing. Yeah. Well, I, there was a, next to the onion online. Yeah.

There was an alley that had ads. And one of them was a dating app. And I thought that it was an onion dating app. Oh, they're kidding. So I was like, well, at least they read the onion. Right. They know what funny is. And so I did it and I filled it out. And it was free. You're right. And it was part of an umbrella thing. Right. With the LA Weekly and you could, you know, because you can set how far people go. And weirdly. And weirdly enough, Andy, who is my husband. He lived like two and a half miles for me. Wow. We have at least three, two people in common that we could have met.

Wow. Yeah. And it was interesting. It was super crazy. It was super crazy. Yeah. In the old days, you'd been at the canteen and your friends would have introduced you. Yeah. Tamara Boyd would have already introduced us for my last day job.

Right. She was a close captioner at my last day job. Oh, really? And they went to college together. They're close friends. And so they were at a party. I was in New York. Yeah.

Filming my 2003 stand-up comedy Central special. Oh, yeah. But I was in New York doing that. And they were at a party together. At her, she was having a party. I was going to go to it. And they were talking and she said, are you dating anyone? He said, well, I met this really nice woman that, she's a stand-up.

She's in New York right now. And Tamara goes, I work with a woman who's a stand-up who's in New York right now. And they were like, holy smokes. And the next time I saw Tamara Boyd, Tamara Boyd said to me, you know, I'm really good friends with Andy. And then she stared deeply into my eyes. And she's like, be good to Andy.

Oh. And I was like, oh. Protect Andy. This is like a caricature of how humans talk to each other. Right. But kind of reassuring for you, too. And he also went to college with Hardwick. Oh.

One of his buddies did stand up, and he saw, but Chris and Randy do stand-up together. Right, right, right. Yeah. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah. That's so great.

And now 15 years later. And here we are. Jeez. And lockdown was good. Lockdown was, did you guys? We kind of thrived a little bit. Yeah. Which was, it's sad, you know, 100,000.

I know. We all have to say, like, there were a lot of people suffering. I know. And it's true. But it also, I'm going to go for the, I think I just saw it, the three musketeers. I'm going to go for the Whoppers. And, oh, look at that. You slay.

You, ha. Do you know why? Because it's Halloween. Oh, I thought it's because I was a comedian. Okay. And, uh, yeah, but there was definitely, you know, it's kind of remarkable, is that we did thrive in a lot of ways, because I got to unplug from the road. I got to be with the family. It was homeless.

For the first time in. Forever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Mm-hmm. Like, I was like, oh. Why is this holiday season so much fun?

Oh, because I'm here. Right, with your family. With my family. Surrounded by your children and your wife and your home. Not like I'm going to squeeze two more corporate dates in a club. I'll be home by Christmas Eve, I promise. And it turned out, you still paid the bills? Yeah, it all worked out.

Yeah, it all worked out. It worked out just fine. It was good. I had never been home that. But you know what's interesting, and I find this talking to audiences when I'm out there on tour right now, is that I'll tell people, which I've been doing since I started doing shows again, I'll take a beat and say, I'm proud of all of you that we're here, like looking for laughs. I don't know what you do, but what you did over the last 18 months, but you obviously did it.

And you got through what was a really scary, uncertain time. And humans are so resilient. They just don't even want to, they're like, yeah, that's all right. We did that. We're here now. earlier when I would say it people would really like thank you for saying it now people are like it's like when you see someone go through a tragedy or something and you're like wow how did they get through that and they're like I just did it you know they don't humans don't wallow in it yeah like in the moment you need the pep talk right yeah but then once it passes you're like okay we don't have to relive that we don't have to go back and it was we forget with like what that March April was yeah when we first got shut in and you couldn't like There were no airplanes. No airplanes, no cities, no bring your food in and not being worried.

Like, is it on the food? Yeah. I mean, it was- wiping everything down. It was insane. Yeah. But we've kind of forgotten about that. Well, you know, I just finished the second nonfiction book I've read in five years. That's right.

Eric Larson, splendid and vile. It's a biography of Churchill. But the perspective is from the diaries of the people around. him. So it's much lighter. It's incredibly easy read. Right. Which I need with my nonfiction. Yeah. I'm with you. If it gets dense, I am not a dumb dumb, but I'm just, I'm bored.

You're bored. You're like, all right, I get this part. Let's get to them. I wish you, I wish you could put air. And this guy, Eric Larson, like a three musketeer, which, by the way, it was pretty damn good. These whoppers are quite excellent. Yeah, I think, yeah, Eric Larson is the three musketeer of writing biographies and non-fiction. I'm looking forward to reading one of the old ones that isn't about murder. Right.

Anyway, but the pet talk, the pep talk that Churchill, you know, created, right? And he was just like, you know, we can't, I'm not trying to sugarcoat this for you. But we're going to get through it. And we're going to do it because we have to. Right. And it was just this, you know, he's like, we're not going to give up. Right. You don't want to give up to Hitler.

Right. That's insane. Right. And so, I thought it was so great. It was such, it gave me a pep talk. I pulled Churchill out. I have this big, like, dictionary-sized book of just his quotes. And it's all, it's all.

He was chatty. He was really chatty. And by subject, you know, like, it's like, you know, the, the economy. or, you know, whatever, family like, whatever. And it's, I'm literally dictionary size. And I brought that out in the middle of the, the beginning of the, the scary part of the pandemic. Mm-hmm.

And it was comforting. It was, it was, like, because it was resilient. Right. Right. Right. He was, um, he, uh, one of his quotes is something like, you know, I didn't give anybody courage. I help people find their courage.

Wow. And you're just like, dude. Yeah. That is a gift. Yeah. You've given a gift to millions of people. Yeah. Yeah.

But there is something to that because people are remarkable. They really are. They rise to the occasion. They do all kinds of things. And you're right. When it's even like 12 minutes over, they're like, yeah, yeah. And weirdly enough, 40 years later, the nostalgic. Right, right, right, exactly.

Now we're all like 9-11, do you remember it? Right. Oh, yes, wistfully. I know, but my grandmother, I always, bring her up as an example went through you know tail into the first war

the Depression Second World War and you know all this stuff and what I saw her on 9-11 like I went to her house because I couldn't get back into New York

I was traveling and I went to her house and she was so excited to see me and I was like Nana didn't you see the news like what? I was like

Ulterior I just seeing her and she's like oh yeah that stuff happens come on in. You want a tuna sandwich? Wow. But she had seen, she knew we were gonna,

she knew what we didn't know. Right. Was that we were going to get through it. Right. Is that, is that it, it changes the world, but it also doesn't. Right.

You know? Yeah. And that's so important to remember. Mm-hmm. The, you know, my, I, on my last album, I am not the hero of this story. Right.

Is available everywhere. But the, I tell this story that I couldn't, I was so psyched to record it when I did it. I recorded it like six weeks after the election in 2016. And there was a lot of fear then of what was what insane, like the insane things that did happen were insane enough. But we all thought that it was going to be like finger on the button and just end time stuff

because everyone is always like, oh, it's going to be the end time, which I find to be, by the way, the most. narcissistic attitude. How will you be able to go on without me? So it must end in my lifetime. The world must end. When I'm here. Yeah, exactly. And you're like, it's actually not happening. Do you ever read The Road by Cormac McCarthy? No. Will I? No. I know. I was in that camp of, why would I? Well, did you accidentally read it? I have accidentally read some amazingly written literature. Right. Like what? The Handmaid's Tale. Right. Yeah. I was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? this is not, don't read this.

I know. And I'm like, a prayer for Owen Meaney. I read that. I was like, nope, what are you doing? It does change you. I'm in the middle of it right now. I was reading Cormac McCarthy at a friend's suggestion. And I was like, I'll read everything but the road, I guess.

The orchard keeper and there was another one. And he's really, I mean, a great writer. Like, okay, this guy's. great. And I was really naive. I didn't, ignorant. I didn't know who he was. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to get the road. I was on the road. I was looking for a book. And I'm like, I'm just going to pick it up and start reading it. And it is so spooky because the apocalypse has happened. And he's a father and a son are wandering down the road of what I think is a nuclear Holocaust because there's no sun and they're just getting by day to day. It's so atmospheric.

It's so and what's really crazy and is why you shouldn't read it is that after watching no cities and scared of the groceries and no planes. You are like, yeah. So when is this going to happen? Right, right. We've been through a couple movies like people with hazmat suits coming up and testing you in your car. Sure. Like, yeah, this part could happen too. Right, right. And it's so scary.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the good thing is if you think about like sort of Carlin, and I believe Dennis Miller had had something comparable back in the day, jokes about how the earth is fine. Right. It'll shrug us off. Yeah, the earth will live. Yeah. And it's just, and I would say the book that most compares to how we live right now,

water ship down. Uh-huh. The first 80 pages, probably, where the Warren is too crowded. Right. And everybody's waiting. Everybody's waiting. Everybody's like, we have got to start a new warrant. We have to get people to get out and do this.

And everyone's like, no, I don't want to. Yeah, no, we should probably. Yeah, I don't want. All right. Right. I mean, it's just that. That seems, that's the, that scene. and I never saw the movie.

I understand that the adaptation was great, but the kid's adaptation, but dark. Yeah, animated, right? I think animated, yeah. And there's that scene, and then there's a later scene where they're on the road, right? And they come up on the name of the chapter, I distinctly remember is called The Shining Wire.

And they come upon the fattest, happiest bunnies in the world, the watership-down bunnies, on their journey to a new Warren. They're like, we have a huge Warren. You could join us. Look how happy and fat we are. And they're like, why are you so happy and fat? They're like, the farmer just has like a whole thing, a lettuce that he just throws away old lettuce in this thing.

And we just eat off of that. And it's amazing. And then one night, it's after dinner in the Warren. And there's poetry. There's nihilistic, beautifully written, amazingly constructed bunny poetry. Right. And then the next day, one of the bunnies is out, and they find that one of the, someone's been caught in a snare.

And they're like, oh, we got to get help. And they're like, oh, no, no, that's the price. The rabbit calls the, the farmer calls the warrant for his own needs. Right. And they're like, yeah, we're not going to stay. And that's what I think of whatever I think, whatever I see incredibly well-written, super dark stuff. Yeah, right.

Because much like incredible, like really well-written, cool stuff, I don't think humans have that kind of imagination. I think we're actually, this gets a little hippie, skippy, but we're actually sort of seeing something through, like, Into the future or into a parallel universe. When someone's writing that? Yeah. Like J.R. Tolkien.

I mean, he took everything from all the fiction of the past and all the stories of the past. But that he created it and created a world that was, the world building was amazing. Even, you know. It didn't exist. It didn't exist as that. Right. And you're thinking that he, you're saying that he in some way was channeling, some something, some archetype, something that's...

Yeah. That was... There's a... Using him to tell this story in a way. Right. And there is a mindset that can maybe see from a different perspective, a different angle. Yeah. Like, you know, Cormac McCarthy,

it feels like he's flying above humanity. Yes. And can kind of see into the future a little bit. Yes. And that's where you're just like... Tolstoy's like that too. Right. Where it's just...

He's just... You think you're just going along about a little story about a husband and a wife. And then he shoots off into space and looks down and shows you the smallest things and the grandest things all within four pages. And you're just like, all right, I have to, I have to lay down for a while. He just showed me way more than I see normally. Right. It's like, right, because my mind isn't that big. No, no. And I think some writers have that, but they don't necessarily, and some artists of all kinds, right? Yeah, yeah. Have that. And it's not every time.

Like they say that to be considered a genius, you only have to do one really, one genius thing. One great piece of work. Yeah. Yeah. And what's the name of your album? The staycation.

The staycation. Yeah. Is this the one? This is it. I had a fan tell me that he listened to my albums when Hero came out. He was like, I'm listening to your albums backwards to hear you get worse at stand-up. And I was like, flattering and yet not. Unnecessary, sir.

That's a weird compliment. Yeah. the the it's just it's one of those books and I'm like three quarters of the way through now and it's one of those where when you put the book down you're not done reading right like you're just you're just with you in the car it's with you it's just like it's haunting is the word haunting I have to say that this splendid and vile Eric Larson thing the Churchill thing um what Eric Larson does is he makes you feel like you're good at reading nonfiction.

Like, I'm looking around and going, yeah, what else? What else? What are the parts of this? Can I crack? So I have opened to, I have, I have a nonfiction book that I bought. The last nonfiction book I read was great and it was about the history of knowledge. It was history of how knowledge it has been collected.

Like initially it was, you know, the one dude who was the keeper of the knowledge. Tell stories. The Plato. And then it was the, and then it was the library of Alexander. then it was the internet, you know, I mean, everything in between. Wow. The monks and the priests and whatever. Yeah. And so it was a great book.

Yeah. And, but I bought that and a book on the history. This was an amazing bookstore. If there is a bookstore in the world that has a display out that can make me buy two nonfiction books. Yeah. Good on you. You're really got some amazing. Do they put like castles behind it or anything?

I don't understand it. It wasn't anything. It was there. Was there a bit of hum? money sitting on top of it? What the hell? And so it was, so this other nonfiction book that I couldn't face is the history of Islam Christianity and Judaism. Oh yeah. And it looks amazing. It looks, yeah, let's let someone make that into a documentary. Yeah, I really would really like to watch that show. Yeah. Yeah. I know. There's another one that was really popular about,

it was like, oh man, it was similar. It was like it had the early religion and tied to like the salt trade and the Oh, the spice road. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, wow, that looks really. And they just fell asleep. I can't do it. Right.

In that sentence, you were like, oh, is there a way? Yeah. Yeah. I can't do it. It's a. Have you ever written long form? Have you ever written longer than your stand-ups? Well, um...

You have and you don't want it to say it out loud. I don't want to say. No, I wrote, I took a, I wrote fiction in college. Uh-huh. I took a short story class. And my teacher was a famous short story author. Oh, yeah? University of Wisconsin-Madison.

And, um, Lori Moore. And I did not appreciate her. I liked her as a teacher. She was a great teacher, actually. But I don't read short stories. And that's actually, that's on me, right? I mean, the only. And but.

The funny thing about reading short stories, sorry I interrupted. But the funniest thing, I was just thinking, yeah, I don't either. And then when I have, then I get mad if it's not short enough. Like you'll be reading like two, three, four page stories and then all of a sudden, 50 pages. What are you doing? You con me. Is this a New Yorker? What just happened?

Yeah. So you don't appreciate her talent or you just didn't appreciate you? No, I wish I had known that she was the Lori. Right. Like when you get taught by. But I did. She was an excellent teacher. And I would like to have written a novel.

You get it. And I once, Audible asked me, and maybe, because this can be done, this could be done, and I, and I'd like to still do it. I made it twice as hard as it needed to be. But Audible asked me to write essentially a funny romance novel. So a romance novel from a place of someone who likes romance novels, but is also super funny. Right. That's a great idea. It's a great idea.

And what it is is, it would be like saying, please write Galaxy Quest about romance novels. Right. And that's what I wanted to do. And that's what I want to do. And I made it harder. I turned it into a historical romance novel. I have a hard time writing sex scenes. So, I mean, and the...

Oh, yeah, you have to write the sex scenes. Yeah, yeah, the sex scenes. You know who would be really good at it, though, is there's a Tiffany Stevenson. It's a British comic who does a series on Instagram or TikTok or some damn thing, which is a great comic. But if you wanted to see it, she writes, she does these writing women, wait, how men write women when they're introduced into a scene. She writes men as if she were a man writing a woman walking into a scene. What is that like? A lot of bouncing testicles, a lot of, you can see a shoulder blade, you know, a lot of, a lot of BS.

And it's so silly and funny. It's so funny. She might actually be the one to write those sex scenes for me. Yeah, have the ghost sex scene writer. Yeah, yeah, exactly. A little collaborative moment. Right. That's hilarious.

So what happened? You got bogged down in... No, I wrote this. I got bogged down in it being a historical romance. Right. And then, and then I had an idea. Which became Bridgeton, right? Well, Bridgetton, weirdly enough, I've read those books.

And so when we were in deep lockdown and Bridgeton came out, I was like, Julia Quinn? The Julia Quinn series? And then I looked at it. I was like, I think Shonda Rhymes. Yeah. Stuck the landing on getting exactly that sort of how incredibly insane. insane they are. Right.

And did you end up seeing it? Parts of it, not really. Well, there were, there were things that she did that were kind of genius, right? In the, when they're dancing. Uh-huh. They're dancing to modern music. To modern music, yeah. That has been arranged for orchestra.

Right. And the, and that, and that, and I think there's going to be a second season. And I was like, about Anthony? He's terrified of bees. Because Julia Quinn is almost, you know, we do stand-up. So what I can say safely is funny is hard to bring over two romance novels, right? Right. So Julia Quinn is kind of the, is, it does a very funny.

She's almost the funniest. Right, I got you. historical romance novels. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But by regular standards, it's just goofy. Right, right, right, right. And that's fine. Yeah.

So, but in the hands of someone that could do really funny. It might be amazing. And so I was trying to think of like a modern, a modern sort of more Harlequin Romancey kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. And I... What's his name with the long hair? Right, but this would be Elon Musk and J.K. Rowling.

For some reason, are on an island. retreat off of Vietnam. And they fall in love and they both become better people. They're not the worst people, but they could be doing more. That's funny.

Yeah. J.K. has been in a world of controversy, but also it feels like she's on the outside of it. It feels like people are... Well, she doubled down on some really weird. I mean, I think she must have had, You know how everybody's kids now are like, I know I'm going to be forced to be an adult, but am I going to be forced to be a female adult or a male adult?

Because I can't stand it. Right. Do I still get to be me? Remember when you were we kids? Yeah. You were just like, well, do I still get to be me? Right. Well, no, well, you're going to be a woman.

Right. And you're like, you're a man now. Is me a woman? Is me a man? Right, right, right. And so I think there's this whole generation, that have been figured out and they're just like,

no, I can continue to just be a they, them, and a me. Right, right, right. And you're like, okay. Yeah. But you do have to be an adult and get a job. Right. You're going to have to do stuff. Right.

You're still going to have to do stuff and you're still going to... What you are is a thing, but what you do is actually the thing. Right, right. And you can wear whatever you want. Right. When nobody cares anymore. Yeah. I'm not well versed in what J.K. said.

Oh, she had a problem with trans women. Yeah, she doesn't like... Nobody has any problem with trans men. She doesn't like the people taking the credit for being a woman without going through with women went through. Right. Though puberty's no cakewalk for any of us. Yeah, that's true. It is hard of being a woman, though.

I don't know. I mean, well, I mean, it's harder to get work. Well, it's harder to get work. Yeah, there's a social part of it. And there's just the physical part of it. There's like, it's, you know, once a month having to deal with the flu. It's kind of like a horrible thing for your entire life. Yeah, but I mean, much like what we were just talking about with 9-11, you stop thinking about it.

Right. You're just like, oh, well, this is the day that thing happens. And I guess I have to buy new underwear. Yeah, get over it. And, all right. Let's have a tuna sandwich. Right. I mean, you know, the real injustice is about being a woman and being all that stuff.

Yeah. Is how you're perceived. And that's what these kids are, that's what, that's these. Right. People are trying to do. They're just like, I'm doing a new bit. Is it on the new album? It is.

Yes. Stacation. Staycation. It's, uh, and, and the, the premise is that we are, of course, all stocks of meat with a brain on top. Yeah. But we only meet the sausage casing. And we meet the sausage casing and we go, I would never sleep with that sausage casing. I will only sleep with that sausage casing.

I hate that kind of sausage. And please do not use the sausage analogy for capitalism. But the thing is, it's so like if we could all meet each other as the stalk of meat with a braid on top, all anybody really wants is a cup of coffee, a job. a place to live and for absolutely everyone to get out of the way. Right. I'm on the road. Please get out of my way.

I'm on the street. Please move. Please get out of the way. It's really true. Let me board the plane. Let me board the plane. Let me get off the plane. Let me have a short line for Starbucks.

I just need a cup of coffee. I literally. And it's a way of thinking about people that could cure or take another step to dealing with racism and sexism. Right. Right. Because civilization moves so slowly. So slowly. It is like the tectonic planks.

Well, yeah. Back to the Tolstoy thing of it all. You read these works from people, you know, from a long time ago, and you realize we have not changed. Like the world has changed dramatically. But just like our emotions and our mental abilities, it's like crawling. Like inch by inch. Right. We are literally just grabbing the next thing, the next ring.

And we're just like, seriously, I can see. Yeah. Why are we still here? Right. And you're like, well? Yeah. It really is remarkable. It's too bad.

But it is, I think, I mean, the, to speak to the hope of it, in our lifetime, it's changed so much. Yes. And it has, I think, obviously, you know, they talked about, pardon me, they talked about the greatest invention of the 20th century and they insist that it is the television. Not the unicycle. Not the unicycle. Oh, was that invented the 20th century? I don't know. Probably earlier.

I feel like they did it around Shakespeare plays. I think the bicycle was invented in the late 1800s. Yeah. So, but it could have been. But the, but you know, like, because the way. Yeah, the way perception can be. manipulated, both for good and evil, and feel free to use it for good, allow me to state the obvious.

Yeah, please. Yeah, but like, if you look at Will and Grace, Will and Grace is, you look back in those and you're like, well, that's kind of dumb, and that's kind of gross, and that's kind of dumb. Yeah. And that's slightly offensive. But at the time, it was making the rest, the world who didn't, who might know three gay people, in their whole lives go, oh, he's just as neurotic and goofy as I am. Right.

And they're just people and they just like each other and who cares? Yeah. And it opened a little stream, a little road. Yeah, it's hot. And that's why when people look back, like you look back at your first albums. Yeah. How's that, how's that work it out? You got anything back there that you go, oh, good Lord.

No, I mean, just not that funny. Just hacky Lori Kilmartin just put a She put a message before one of her tracks On Pandora She's like, hey, this is Lori Kilmartin I don't know that I'd recommend this one Thanks for listening to it

But I wouldn't do this joke now Really? Yeah That's an interesting way to do it Yeah Yeah We're just like well Yeah

It wasn't my You know It wasn't my best moment But everybody was But it was right You were of a time And And the person

who actually is curating this thing is saying, yeah, that one doesn't really hold up. Yeah. There was a thing in, do you watch, we're in the shadows, what we do in the shadows? I've seen some of it, yeah. It's really pretty funny. Yeah.

And he's talking about his old music career. He's a vampire, so he's made things centuries ago. And he's like, I don't think that wouldn't hold up very well. Have you seen the HBO Max, the British version of ghosts? Not the U.S. version which just came out. No, no, I haven't. It's adorable. It's hilarious.

And the improv troops sold a sitcom. Wow. So they, it's just a couple, inherits like a mansion in the British countryside. And there's ghosts there from Neanderthal days. So there's like five different ghosts. There's like an MP from the 80s without his pants on. There's a Boy Scout, you know, guy with an arrow in his neck and like a scout leader.

And, you know, the lady of the house. It's funny. Yeah. It's really funny. And it is like the first two episodes, you're like, no, I get it. I get a third episode. I'm like, all of them. Keep making them forever.

Right. I need to see all of these because they're adorable. Yeah. No, it's great. Yeah. I think, I think, yeah, I mean, you know, just the clothes you wore in the stuff you recorded before. Just like, like, how about just like what was everybody thought was funny at the time?

Like, I remember, I remember. I remember being at like a just open mic and sitting at stand-up New York. And people were just starting to talk about masturbating on stage. Like it wasn't really a thing. No. Do you know who made it okay? But tell your story. No, go ahead.

Bill Hicks. Yeah, right. He was around that time. It was, and it was the first time that it was, because it was in the zeitgeist. Right. But he got to do it on TV or something. Right. He was probably on, yeah.

And then all of a sudden, everyone was doing. doing these masturbation jokes everywhere. It was freaking. Everywhere. It was masturbation was everywhere. You're like, stop it. And yeah, it's weird how it kind of catches. And then, you know, of course, 30 years later, you're like, who cares?

Like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah. And the same thing happened. Like, rape jokes became like this thing. It became like the fashion. Like, all these people were doing these rape jokes. And there's just, like, people are always looking for the, what's the taboo? And can we get there first and do it?

Right now, there's a lot of. young women talking about their menstrual cycles. And some of it's very, very funny, and some of it is not. But I was told that we couldn't talk about it. Right. But nobody wants to hear about it. Nobody wants to hear about it. She's going to talk about her period for 20 minutes.

But the thing is, is you can't. You can talk about your poop. It doesn't, as long as you make it. But the problem is there seems to be in right now, like there seems to be, of, you know, and then people start making their way through copycat. And they're like, they think that maybe, they think that maybe Sarah Silverman only talks about,

you know, the naughty things. And they don't see the genius that's... Sarah Silverman is a perfect example, because I think it was in 98 or 99, both her and Zach Alvinakis had ironic racism jokes. And it caught on in the alt-comedy community and then mainstream. Right.

And then everyone was like, I'm being ironic and you're like, and yet, you're not doing it with the finesse, with the style, with Zach Alfenekis. Right. Nailed it. Yeah, exactly. Sarah Silverman thought about it and nailed it. Very small targets and you have to be very good shots as they are to pull that off.

You miss by an inch, it's a whole different scenario. It's just hard. Yeah. And comedy is not easy. No. But it also, I mean, it's worth, it's worth. the effort to try to do, like I have this gender sexuality bit that I'm working on. Yeah.

That is not, it's on the album. I'm still working on it. Come and see what new amazing tags I write now that it's been recording. Yeah, I know. Right, exactly. Now it's going to be really amazing. But it took me, like when I first started doing it. Yeah.

I would have younger comics and then a couple of younger comics came up and were like, well, you're a little off on the definition of what they're talking about with gender. And you're a little off with the difference between gender and sexuality. And you're a little off with this. And it was sort of a repetition. It was, I think it was Lydia Popovich, Amy Miller, and Virginia Jones. Or the three that come to mind. But I'm sure that there were others.

And they're all women of their age, you know, late 20s, early 30s. Yeah. And Brandy Posey. But these people. and they would come up and they were like, explain to me the errors. And so I would have to re because it's worth it was, it took three years to write that thing. Yeah. Because and it's still growing.

Growing. Growing because it's such a huge. Well, that's the trick is it is that it is very like something like that is very complicated and obviously a minefield. But it's also so much a part of the discussion. If my parents are talking about they and them and my college. age daughter is like it's it's it's out there it's such a big part of the thing so for comedians not to weigh in on it would be really weird yeah you know what I mean it would be really weird and no one and my mother's noticeable and my I guarantee you when my mom's trying to figure it out she's not

going to get it right when my daughter's doing it she's not going to get it right yep no one's getting we're all trying to move forward we're like you say we're trying to get to that next ring yeah and that's the that's that's the only thing in all of the that you should let people fail without thinking that there's ill intent. Malice, right? And you can tell if there's malice. Considering the source is a huge thing that's missing. Yeah, and so I would get off stage.

Like I did a sexual assault bit like two albums ago, and some woman came up to me, and she was like so drunk, first of all. and she was like, I was really the same, same thing. And I said, yeah, I said, yeah, it's upsetting. I was trying to work through it. And I think that everybody else kind of, she was like, but you don't know. And I said, no, I literally just told you exactly. Right.

Okay. And so, but yeah, considering the source is huge. Right, exactly. But the amazing thing about the, this, you know, is if you want to do a bit about something that isn't necessarily you. You may identify to it by the end of it, you know, but the, you know, as it's outside of your, you know, whether it's race or sex or any of that,

if people come up and say the angle is weird, and especially if the person is in that marginalized group. Right. You got to listen. You got to listen. Exactly. And much like another comic giving you advice, you may or may not take that advice.

Right. But if you listen. Right. And here, it will, it gave me brand new angles. It gave me. Right, right, right. And by the time that joke was working, people were coming up and going, I'm, this is, you're explaining it right.

You're doing, you know, I'm psyched about that. And then, of course, punchlines. Please, baby Jesus. Please be funny. Things get, things are so much more palatable when they're funny. Let there be a punchline at the end of your, at the end of your journey, right. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I'm so glad you're working on that. Anyway, does it make me laugh at the end of it or in the middle of a couple of times? You know who really with the listening thing that, the thing, when Hari Kanabolo did this thing on the Simpsons. Oh, yeah, yeah. On Abu. Apu. And I went into it and I was like, oh, he was, that character I saw him somewhat, there was a nobility to him. Like he was, he was smarter than everybody else. he, but he had, like, I never saw him, his, I thought he was well written. I thought he was, uh, there was, that he was written with some compassion. Some compassion and that he was smarter than Homer and he was like, you know,

there was some, there were stereotypical things, but it, and I was just trying to like, but I was trying to watch Harry's documentary. And I came out of it really realizing you, he cares enough to carry the way, of whatever it made him feel since he was a child, and now as a grown, successful comedian, is spending a lot of time filming

and making this to tell this story. He's trying to tell the world in so many ways. This made me feel bad. This isn't good. And you have to have to listen to that. No, it looks all right. I don't get it. Yeah.

Yeah, well, your dad didn't look like that and your uncle didn't talk like that. And I'm telling you, from my, heart and soul. This was off for me. This isn't cool. You just got to shut up and be like, all right, then I will be able to listen to that. There was a football player on the Washington football team when it was named the Redskins who literally said, it doesn't matter what we think. If it hurts their feelings, change the name. And he was a black man. And he was just like, yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. They're crying out for it. They're crying out. They're

They're not, they're not, they're not, Harry was not like, F the world. He was like, just listen world. Right. He's like, I'll, I'll break it down for you. Yeah. It's sort of like Black Lives Matter, you know? It's just like, it's a whole sentence. Mm-hmm.

And everybody just stops it at that and we're, because they, they had to do an LLC. Jesus, you guys. And they had to do it, handed to an org, a dot org. Yeah. But, but Black Lives Matter, because, comma, because you don't seem to be treating them as if they are. Right. So please make a note.

Yeah. There's a lot. are in trouble. This is not actually happening. We thought we'd point out that the vision of what you're doing is not yet. Yeah. Yeah. No, you got to listen.

And everybody's trying to be, you know, everybody decent that I know is trying to be a good ally, right? 100%. And the, and I, staycation, you guys. Staycation. Got to get back into it. Because here's the thing. There's two of my brother. They want to be good allies.

I want to be a good ally. I'm not always a good ally. I'm an okay ally, right? I'm like Godzilla when he's the good guy. Still a lot of crap gets broken. You're just like screaming. You want to hear what I learned when I saw hidden figures? Anyway.

But two of my brothers were like, there might be more literally said to me in different situations, you know there might be more sexism in the world than you might. know about. And I was like, wow, man. And then I thought about it. And first of all, they're just trying to be good allies. And second of all, they might be right, because I've spent a good portion of my time not, you know, just sort of going along, just going, well, it's not going to matter. Yeah. It's not going to help it. Right. If I had, and, and if I bring it up,

everybody's going to be sad. All the boys around me are going to be sad. They're not going to book me because I make them sad. And so, I'm uncomfortable. You made me uncomfortable. But there's like these dinosaur dude comics who, because, okay, so I will tell some some of the younger crowd, right? Stories that I think are funny. That turnout are horribly sexist.

Right. Yeah. And I think, and I was told that they were funny. Right, right. That if I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing along. And so I was, so I'll tell the story. And all of men and women in their 20s and 30s, the younger comics will be like, what happened? And they're always shocked and appalled.

You're like, that was just called living. You didn't think that was funny? That's the way it worked back then. But I might be, but it made me realize that I might be the last generation of women comics that you ever hear, say this sentence. He's a nice enough guy. You just don't want to be alone with him. Right. He's okay.

Just stand by the door. Yeah. Just know what he is. Yeah. But there is that thing. There is that thing of wanting the world to be different and not being naive to the way that the world is. Yes. Yes.

And living in the world. Which I'm trying to walk through with raising young women is like, I'm all for it. I'm all for doing what you want to do, dressing how you want to dress, calling out. the guys on their behavior and all that kind of stuff. But we still have to keep our wits about us because... Oh, we all have to live a little defensively. There's still a lot of guys out there that aren't reading the pamphlets and aren't we're ready to go on to the next phase yet.

Yeah. You know, it's complicated. Living defensively isn't the problem. I mean, insisting that young women and women, people in general, because we're... I don't even recognize it anymore, right? I'm just naturally living slightly defensively. Yeah, yeah.

And it's fine. No, it isn't, but it's fine. It's still the wild. There's still trouble. There are people that don't have your best interest in. Yeah. And there, you know, I was talking to somebody today because I don't, I don't drink anymore. But when I did drink, someone was saying, you know, you were so fun.

when you drank. It was so funny and I was like, was I? Because I mean, I tended to black out somewhat and but I remember making decisions like I have in my, and if I dug deeper

I could probably find more but probably a half a dozen stories that end and then I wasn't killed. Right. And you're just like I wasn't living defensively until I, you know, literally chose to say, screw it. Right. I get to, I get to make bad life decisions and not be punished for them or be punished for them because I'm sick of living like this.

Right. Which is something, you know, like there's so many, getting to make regrettable decisions is such a luxury. Yeah. And it's not something that women get to do that often. and it's and it leads to bad decisions. Right. Because if everyone could make more regrettable decisions, yeah.

Then you wouldn't be forced to just go, yeah, no, I'll get in the car. Right. Yeah, right. It's almost like a release valve. It's like, psh, just okay. There was a kid I knew who wanted to get, and that kid is probably dead. This was a terrible life decision, and we couldn't stop it, but, and we tried to talk about it, but there was no, he wanted to, he was probably 22 years old.

He wanted to tattoo a train, a steam engine, a train around his neck, and he wanted to get his ear removed. Oh, God. So that the, uh... Was a smokestack? Yeah. Oh, no. So the earhole could be the smokestack and no one would do it.

So he cut his own ear off. Ah. And he put it in a jar and he shouted it to people. Ah. I totally stopped hanging out with him. Yeah. But the thing is, is... Right to the dating apps.

And I wasn't much older, but the thing is... but I was like 26 or 27. And I was like, you're not going to, you're always going to regret that. That's brutal. But he, you know, tattoos. Yeah, yeah.

Now I know, there is that thing. Like, because you do, for your own, with out regard to how it's going to work out in the long term for yourself, you do make those decisions just to see what it feels like. That's what growing is. Like, it's, you do all of those things. and you just hope that they're never bad enough where. Right.

And if there's, and if you come from a place where you get to make those decisions, where you get to, like, and recover from them. And recover from them. And you want to protect. Yeah.

Women. Yeah. From making regrettable decisions. Yeah. That's your whole rationale for saying, well, you shouldn't get an abortion. Mm-hmm.

And you're just like, I've actually thought it through. I've spent my entire life not being able to make regrettable decisions. This is a decision. I seriously. regret if I don't do this. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but it's, you know, there's this control nonsense. We're just like, okay, but it's, but again, you

live your life. And you can't live, you know, you can't live in despair. You, and you have to be happy. It's one of the things, um, the bastards hate that, of course, is if you could find happiness in what is often a very stressful anxiety-ridden life. So do you think that those bunnies were actually happy? I think that those bunnies found some happiness in the shining wire. Yeah. And accepted.

Yeah, they did. They were like, well, this will be my life. Right. And I will be, because they asked the traveling bunnies were like, seriously, you guys got to get out of here. Yeah. And you want to come with me? One bunny went with them. Uh-huh.

And the rest of the bunnies were like, some of them were kind of like dead-eyed. Right. Or depicted as such, right? Yeah. Yeah. But some of them were depicted as people were like, no, this is the, this is pretty good. This is the sacrifice I make to live a sweet life. Yeah. I'm almost done with my novel.

All right. Last question. Okay. We've got to wrap up. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is good. All right. Two questions.

Will you be taking nerds home with you? I will not. Okay. And the next question is, you're chili. Yeah. Beans or no beans? No beans. Me too.

Don't mind beans in other people's chili. Love beans. But when I make a chili, just meat. Yeah. Yeah. And seasoning. Yeah, Texas. Yeah.

A little onion and pepper to start. Saute it. I did, yeah, I did onions. And... Just as your little base? Yeah, just base. And then a lot of spice, obviously. Yeah.

Can it of Chipotle forgot how hot they were. Oh. And then overnight, I had to fish them out. And then I had to... When I served it with the cornbread, I had to put the plain yogurt. Here you go. There's a little jar of plain yogurt for it.

Right. We had the sour cream out. Yeah, exactly. We don't have any sour cream. So now we're like, we always have yogurt. That's great. All right, thank you so much for being here.

Take as much or all of the candy. I have to keep the ball, though. I'll get in trouble if the ball doesn't come home. Oh, yeah, you don't want to lose the bowl. Stacation is available now everywhere that you go on YouTube. No, no. If this comes out tomorrow, November 16th. Oh, shitballs.

Okay. November 16th. Yeah. All right, cool. It'll be available. I think there's an exclusive the week before November 16th that'll be on Pandora and Sirius X-Nove. I love this. I love this because it's such a proven model that comedy fans really want to digest comedy. And like Samarrel, I always use him as the example of he just puts out good jokes.

And at the time, and the time no one really was making a contract with him, he can't stop. So we just put it up. And he's got millions of people who are into it, as does Chad Daniels. So great. So, all the success. All the success. All right. You're the best.

We got it, Aaron. All right, there you go. The great Jackie Cation, super smart. I mean, it just bounces from subject to subject. She's so damn funny. I love her so much. Staycation is coming out on November 16th. We'll remind you again next week when we do this.

She took a lot of good candy. She didn't leave that much. There's some good stuff. I'm going to give it to Aaron. all right, enjoy everybody. We'll see you next week.